Requests of Agent █████

Agent █████ requests access to SCP-682 to see if it "Can be stopped using algebra." Request denied. Agent █████ is to report to mental testing again.

Agent █████ requests that item SCP-314 be contained with Jello pudding. Request denied. Agent █████ is once again to report to mental testing.

Agent █████ requests that every Tuesday be a clothes optional day for personnel. Claims it is for "religious purposes". Request denied. What religion has naked Tuesdays?

Agent █████ requests fifty pounds of tube socks. When asked what for Agent █████ says something about weasels. Request denied. Agent █████ is not allowed around any type of weasel.

During a briefing Agent █████ requests to go to the bathroom. Request granted. Note, if this happens again say no. Agent █████ can hold it but our budget cannot.

Agent █████ requests a raise. Request denied. After spending █████ on toaster waffles Agent █████ will never need a raise.

Agent █████ requests personal day. Request granted. Goodness knows we could use a break from his bullshit antics.

Agent █████ requests 20 lbs of paper clips. Request denied.

Agent █████ requests a Segway. Request denied.

Ever since incident ██████████ involving SCP-███ Agent █████ is assumed terminated. With luck he was.