AI-#15837

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SCP-XXXX-J "Walking Disaster". An anomalous effect attatched to ███ ██████. Wherever he walks, chaos and disorder follow. Lights burn out; dust settles on the floor, computers suffer mysterious errors, things fall off shelves… The majority of the scp article focuses on the testing of SCP-XXXX-J by two unnamed researchers, who use SCP-XXXX-J to wreck Researcher ████████'s office "for science!"
If there was a termination log for SCP-XXXX-J, it would consist of "we left him alone for a bit and he managed to strangle himself with his own socks."
I find this greatly amusing: an SCP requiring detailed and convoluted containment to prevent him from accidentlly killing himself.

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: Safe Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:
███ ██████ is to be contained in a modified Humanoid Containment cell with standard amenities. Light fixtures must be bolted at least 5 m above the floor, and bathroom fixtures should be made of tempered steel and double-bolted to the wall. The standard electronic lock has been replaced by 2 (two) sliding bolts. Any equipment within 5 m of ███ ██████'s cell must be doubly redundant and built to Keter-level containment standards. All equipment within ███ ██████'s cell must be checked biweekly for damage. 4 (four) emergency "panic buttons" have been installed in the containment cell, and a fully equipped rapid-response medical team must be maintained on-site to respond to any emergencies caused by SCP-XXXX-J. ███ ██████ is to be monitored 24/7 for his own safety. Should the cell require maintenance, ███ ██████ must be moved at least 5 m away while repairs are effected.
███ ██████ is to be allowed any items he may request, as long as they are not in violation of standard security protocol, or the safety protocol outlined below.
███ ██████ is not to be allowed access to:

  • Anything with sharp edges, points or corners (See Incident XXXX-J-37)
  • Any furniture with a height greater than 0.5 m
  • Glass, glasslike materials, or anything else that can shatter
  • Zippers
  • Loose clothing (due to strangulation risk)
  • Books Any unrestrained items weighing more than 1 kg
  • Anything you do not wish to be irreparably broken

███ ██████ is to be allowed free range of Site-19 in order to complete his janitorial duties.1
███ ██████ is not to be allowed out of his cell except for approved testing. Under no circumstances may he be permitted within 10 m of other SCP containment areas or vital equipment.
Should ███ ██████ attempt to render assistance to any Foundation personnel, he is to be immediately restrained and locked in his cell for a minimum of 24 hours.

Description: SCP-XXXX-J is an effect associated with ███ ██████, a former janitor at Site-19. SCP-XXXX-J displays several anomalous effects which manifest in a 5 m radius around ███ ██████'s current location. Items and areas affected by SCP-XXXX-J show signs of heavy use with little or no maintenance. Additionally, any defects, problems, instabilities or flaws in objects exposed to SCP-XXXX-J are intensified, often to the point of causing complete failure. More specific effects are listed below:

  • Computers suffer from frequent and inexplicable errors, ranging from pop-up messages to kernel panic.
  • Items placed on shelves, desks, tables, or any other surface have an increased probability of falling to the ground, particularly if said items are breakable or valuable in any way.
  • Lightbulbs have an increased probability of failing.
  • Cables, string, rope, and chain become tangled and knotted.
  • Fingerprints corresponding to SCP-XXXX-J are spontaneously generated on glass surfaces.
  • Crumbs and juice droplets spontaneously appear on tables and desks. Analysis reveals the crumbs produced by SCP-XXXX-J are composed of nonanomalous white bread. Juice is most often grape, although lemonade and soda droplets have also been observed.
  • Airborne particulate matter is spontaneously generated, with the highest concentration being directly behind ███ ██████. Analysis identifies it as ordinary dust, composed primarily of dead skin cells, dust mites, crumbs, and dirt.

SCP-XXXX-J's secondary effect is that whenever ███ ██████ attempts to perform or assist with a repair, he invariably ends up worsening the problem, often putting himself and nearby personnel at risk. (See Experiment Log XXXX-J-2)

Addendum XXXX-01:
Please note that despite the rigorous containment procedures and Keter-level equipment, SCP-XXXX-J is not Keter, and has in fact been voted "Least Threatening SCP" 3 for (three) months straight. If we left him alone for 5 (five) minutes, ███ ██████ would probably accidentally strangle himself with his own socks or something.