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"One Ugly Sweater"
Object Class: Safe SCP-XXXX as found at ████
(picture will be posted later)
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard containment locker with two locks. At no time is one individual to possess both keys; the first is to be in the charge of the lead researcher responsible for SCP-XXXX and the second to be given to the site director when testing is not in progress. In the event one or both keys are misplaced, two armed guards are to be stationed at the locker at all times until either the keys are found or both locks are replaced.
Description:
SCP-XXXX Is a sweater adorned with various ornaments and paraphernalia relating to the Christmas season See Test XXXX-1A. Upon close inspection it is impossible to determine where the sweater and objects placed upon it precisely meet, as anything coming in contact with SCP-XXXX seem to almost imperceptibly phase in and out of it, even while inactive.
When worn by any living Homo Sapiens (When tested with other species, living or otherwise, an active state was not induced), SCP-XXXX enters an active state. Microscopic tendrils extend from the sleeves of the sweater, entering painlessly through the skin of the wearer. These tendrils interface with the peripheral nervous system of the wearer and monitor metabolic changes, specifically watching for key reactionary symptoms. When the wearer comes into possession of an object they believe to be related to the holiday season, the sweater will attempt to absorb it.
Absorption can occur in two ways. Firstly, if the sweater comes into direct contact with the object, it will “stick” and will no longer be able to be separated from the sweater (resisted forces of ██kN). Secondly, if the object is out of reach of the wearer, large tendrils superficially resembling tinsel will extend from the sleeves. These tendrils latch onto objects by [REDACTED] pulling it toward the sweater until contact is made. This denotes that the sweater may have [REDACTED].
Once an object has been absorbed, within a period of ██ hours the absorbed material will appear in a subjectively pleasing manner somewhere on the external surface of the sweater.
Acquisition:
SCP-XXXX Was obtained from the ███████ County School District after an investigation was launched into a string of Facebook posts regarding the sweater of one Mr. ███████, which seemed to possess unnatural qualities, such as animated features without any kind of power source. Mr. ███████ Was subsequently questioned as to where he acquired the sweater, which he claimed to have purchased from a thrift store. Mr. ██████ was administered a class A amnesiac and the sweater was confiscated. He has since been placed under remote observation.
Test XXXX-A
Date: 12/12/20██ 14:36 - ██:██
Procedure: Dr. ██████ (Subject) wore the sweater for routine testing of what qualified as paraphernalia acceptable to SCP-XXXX. When the subject was exposed to Snow, it triggered the expected response. After absorbing the material and the passage of a few hours, the sweater adorned itself to appear more festive by layering the snow upon the shoulders of the sweater. The snow was not able to be removed from the sweater, nor would it melt when exposed to bunsen burner. When the subject then requested a glass of water to relieve thirst after waiting for the sweater to process the new material, tendrils extended and absorbed the fluid before the subject could drink. The subject removed the sweater, which posed no obstacle.
Result: It has been shown that SCP-XXXX’s definition of “festive” is subject to modification.
Test XXXX-1B
Date: 13/12/20██ 08:29 - ██:██
Procedure: Dr. ██████’s assistant (henceforth subject) was instructed to wear the sweater for continued testing based on the results of the previous test. The subject, selected because of their religious raising, was instructed to pick up an ornate wooden crucifix featuring a detailed carving of Jesus Christ, which the subject viewed to be related to the holiday. █ hours after absorption, no changes were observed. The subject was instructed to remove the sweater, upon which the subject began to scream and frantically tried to remove the sweater, but was unable to. After █ hours the subject expired of exsanguination and SCP-XXXX entered an inactive state. Post-mortem analysis revealed that the subject had sustained holes approximately 1cm wide which had pierced their wrists. It is theorized that the sweater did this in a crude attempt to prevent removal, and may indicate a desire to remain active.
Result: SCP-XXXX Has demonstrated an ability to harm its wearer. Further testing must be performed on D-class Personnel.
Test XXXX-1C
Date On 14/12/20██ 12:30 - ██:██
Procedure: D-00824 (Subject) Was instructed to wear SCP-XXXX. Unexpectedly, the subject was not pierced in a similar fashion to the previous subject. For lack of a secondary test directive, Subject was instructed to simply wear the object for █ hours, at the conclusion of which no abnormal behaviour was observed. After ██ hours, however, it became apparent that the subject’s hands had begun to swell to abnormal sizes, reaching nearly twice their normal volume. When the subject attempted to remove the sweater, they were unable to fit their hands back into the sleeves, forcing the sweater to remain on. Subject did not describe any unpleasant sensations, but did request that the thermostat be lowered by █ degrees. Dr. ██████, on what he described as “a hunch”, instructed an assistant to poke the subject’s left hand with a hypodermic needle. Upon doing so, a stream of water sprayed out of the subject’s left hand from a sub-dermal reserve. Upon draining, the subject was able to remove their left hand from the sweater. Upon poking the subject’s right hand, however, the subject screamed in pain as they were subjected to a piercing of the wrists. Subject exsanguinated and the sweater was removed after it returned to an inactive state.
Result: SCP-XXXX Has demonstrated awareness of its environment, some intellect, and a willingness to retaliate against attempts to deactivate it once the means to do so are provided to it. Future testing suspended as there is no discernable utility from continuing in this manner.
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX Is to be kept at Site-131 and is not to come within thirty kilometers of any medical facility should transport be required. (See incident report XXXX-A) While contained at Site-131, SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard subterranean containment cell and monitored with constant video and weight-based monitoring. Any changes in appearance or weight are grounds for seizure of all medicinal liquids within a thirty kilometer radius from Site-131 until SCP-XXXX is recontained. SCP-XXXX Is to be administered to D-class personnel at least once per week for a simple tooth cleaning or mole removal, as regular use of SCP-XXXX seems to inhibit its relocation capabilities. Under no circumstances is it to be used for any purpose other than containment or testing authorized by the director of Site-131.
Description: SCP-XXXX Is a bottle of colorless fluid topped with a traditional rubber tip, designed such that a syringe may be used to extract a desired quantity of the fluid. SCP-XXXX closely resembles a dental anesthetic, Lidocaine, differing apparently in only two ways. Firstly, the bottle is labeled "Don't Disturb the Dentist!" with no peripheral text. Secondly, approximately ██ minutes after application, SCP-XXXX's chief anomalous property manifests.
When a subject is injected with SCP-XXXX, they report that it is working precisely as Lidocaine would be expected to: the subject reports an inability to feel the affected area for some time afterward, even in subjects who have no knowledge of what Lidocaine does and have never been injected with it. It is not until after a procedure is performed, and the doctor who operated on the subject has vacated the area, that the subject will become visibly distressed.
Reports from debriefed subjects reveals that SCP-XXXX does not shield the patient from pain, but rather prevents them from expressing it in the presence of the person who administered it. Testing revealed that this applied to all pain, not just localized to the injection spot. The effect also nullifies inflammation responses.
Despite numerous tests, the level of fluid in SCP-XXXX has not decreased, and no attempts to remove fluid by any means other than by syringe have been successful, nor have any attempts to remove the rubber cap.
Acquisition: SCP-XXXX Was acquired from Dr. ██████'s Family Dentistry in ███████, Wyoming. Dr. ██████ came to Foundation attention after an excessive number of allegedly falsified police calls were made about his practice. Upon a search of the premises, the bottle, which did not match any known anesthetic, was confiscated. During transport the bottle was lost, initially believed to be due to incompetence as a standard bottle of Lidocaine was found in its stead, however when the bottle twas located at another dentist's office in a town the convoy was passing, it was classified as Euclid and containment procedures created accordingly. Since discovery it has breached containment twice, once during retrieval, once during transport (See Incident Report XXXX-A), but never over a distance greater than thirty kilometers.
When questioned on how Dr. ██████ came into possession of SCP-XXXX, he explained that the bottle had appeared with a regular shipment of Lidocaine from the ████████████ company, a manufacturer of the drug. See Interview XXXX-B.
Interview XXXX-A Log
Interviewed: ██████ ████████████, henceforth "S",
Interviewer: Dr. ██████████(I).
Foreword: Mr. ████████████ is a resident of the town in which SCP-XXXX was discovered, and a victim of its effects. He approached SCP Personnel when the investigation began, upon which an interview was conducted. Interview takes place in a meeting hall of a local school, which at the time of interview was not in session. Mr. ████████████'s cheek is substantially swollen, having recieved a root canal from Dr. ██████ the week prior.
I: It is my understanding, Mr. ████████████, that you actually went to Dr. ██████'s practice twice.
S: That's correct.
I: Why would you go a second time?
S: It's a small town, and the first time I went wasn't the worst. Just a deep cleaning, I figured I hadn't been numbed right, or that it was all in my head. Either way, I needed the root canal and he was the only dentist in town.
I: So when you went a second time, what happened?
S: He stuck me with the needle about four times, like a dentist normally would, and let me sit for a few minutes to go look at my X-rays. While he was gone I started to get worried because I wasn't getting numb, so I figured I'd tell him about it when he got back.
I: And why didn't you?
S: I couldn't. I just couldn't. As soon as he was back I was compelled to just smile and act like everything was fine and dandy, I even lied about being numb where he stuck me. I wanted to get up and run but there was this feeling that it would hurt more than what was about to happen. It's hard to explain.
I: Did the doctor seem to know what was going on?
S: No, I don't think he knew I wasn't numbed right. I sure didn't give him reason to believe otherwise, even once he started drilling and I was screaming internally. I think I even caught myself humming at one point.
I: So you were experiencing the pain the entire time?
S: Yes. As soon as I got to my car, and I don't even remember the walk there I was in such blinding pain, I broke down for God knows how long. When I came to, it was dark. The pain had subsided enough that I could focus and I got myself to the hospital, where they gave me painkillers. Jaw was swollen to twice the normal size by that point.
I: But the dentist didn't make note of any swelling during the operation?
S: No, it didn't happen until I was outside.
Closing Statement: Mr. ████████████ accepted class A Amnestics and was returned to civilian life. X-rays of his root canal show it to have been performed flawlessly. Dr. ██████ was relocated to ███████████████, where he now practices Oral Hygiene after receiving Class B Amnestics.
Interview XXXX-B Log
Interviewed: Dr. ██████ (S)
Interviewer: Dr. ██████████(I).
Foreword: Dr. ██████ expressed no knowledge of SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties until he was allowed to observe a procedure performed by another doctor. Any patients he operated on who were brought back into his presence experienced instantaneous regression of all symptoms, causing him to believe that the numerous visits from police were due to hoaxes or patients eager to create a lawsuit. After witnessing the effects, he agreed to an interview.
Test XXXX-A
Supervisor: Dr. █████████████
Subject: D-98032
Procedure: D-98032 Was injected with 10 cc's of SCP-XXXX to the gum surrounding his number two molar (top right) and given fifteen minutes to allow the effects to take place. The procedure that followed was a simple removal and replacement of an already existing filling. The subject was asked at two minute intervals if anything could be felt, to which they replied they could not. Upon the end of the procedure the subject shook the doctor's hand and allowed guards to escort them back to the D-class dormitories. Immediately after Dr. █████████████ was out of earshot, the subject dropped to one knee and grasped their jaw, giving clear signs of distress. The subject explained that they had been entirely incapable of reacting in any negative way to the doctor, though they claimed to have felt the entire procedure. Subject was terminated at the end of the month with no further incident.
Analysis: SCP-XXXX primary effect determined. Further testing scheduled for more detailed examination.
Test XXXX-B
Supervisor: Dr. ████████
Subject: D-14035
Procedure:D-14035 was injected with 10 cc's of SCP-XXXX to the gum surrounding his right incisor. Instead of performing a dental procedure, the doctor simply jabbed the subject in the arm with a syringe in such a way as to ensure it would cause pain. The subject voiced no objection and gave no sign that any pain had been inflicted. Subject was escorted to D-class dormitories where, immediately after it was certain that Dr. ████████ was far enough away, the subject gripped their arm and grunted. Subject again stated that they had been unable to voice any objection to the preceding events.
Analysis: SCP-XXXX functions within the individual as a whole, and is not isolated to the injection site.
Test XXXX-C
Supervisor: Dr. ████████
Subject: D-198423
Procedure:Subject injected with SCP-XXXX In right arm. Dr. ████████ Performed a filling removal and replacement. Subject voiced no opposition and reported no pain during the procedure. Subject, similar to test XXXX-A, gripped their jaw and displayed signs of distress once the procedure was over and the doctor was out of earshot. When brought back into the presence of Dr. ████████, D-198423 ceased all symptoms of distress relating to his injury. This was duplicated twice before end of month termination, and the effective duration of SCP-XXXX has not been adequately determined.
Test XXXX-D
Supervisor: Dr. ████████
Subject: D-87356
Procedure:D-87356, a Colombian smuggler incarcerated in the United States, selected to observe SCP-XXXX's use as an interrogative aid. See interview XXXX-A.
Interviewer: Dr. ██████ (I)
Subject: D-87356 (S)
Dr. ██████ Applies the anesthetic and the recording begins.
I: There. Are you feeling any pain?
S: Nope. Stuff feels pretty good, got any more of it?
I: Perhaps later. Would you mind if I took off the front segment of your left index finger?
S: (Without hesitation) Sure, go for it. (Dr. ██████ proceeds to cut D-87356's finger, placing the removed portion in a bag and cauterizing the wound shut.
I: Still no pain?
S: Nope.
I: Would you mind telling me who your closest contact was for the cartel?
S: (Laughing) It'll take more than that to make me spill. (It is unclear whether the subject knew they were experiencing pain at this point, as they might have been implying merely that they were not going to give any information.)
I: I see. On your medical file i noticed you had a number of benign moles. Would you mind if I removed those?
S: Go for it. (Dr. ██████ uses a scalpel to remove seven moles along the subjects arms and legs. The subject offers no resistance and voices no pain.)
I: Who was your closest partner when you were a smuggler?
S: I… (The subject does not seem to be in any pain, but is hesitant to speak at all at this point.)
I: What city was your product coming from?
S: (silence)
I: I noticed something else on your medical file.
S: What's that?
I: It says that you had three of your wisdom teeth removed, but that one is still in there. Would you mind if I remedied that?
S: (Silence, visibly perspiring)
I: Who signed your paychecks?
S: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Subject D-87356 was found to be a fairly low ranking member of the cartel he had been involved with, however SCP-XXXX did serve to mitigate the empathic effects of interrogation on the interrogator. Dr.██████ had no prior experience in espionage, and suffered no psychological trauma from the test. D-87356 was terminated at the end of the month without issue. SCP-XXXX Has not breached containment since Test XXXX-D, and containment procedures have been updated as a result.
Test XXXX-E
Doctor: Dr. ████████
Subject: D-46243
Procedure: SCP-XXXX was administered to D-46243 by Dr. ████████. Following injection, the subject was asked by Dr. ████████ to cut their forearm with a provided scalpel. Subject initially refused, but after some coercion made a one-centimeter incision on their forearm. Dr. ████████ was removed from the test area, and the subject became distressed about the wound. Dr. ████████ returned to the test area, and the subject ceased complaints. Dr. ████████ stitched the subjects wound before leaving again, upon which the subject returned to their distressed state.
Analysis: Subject seems to be unable to express pain from any source in the presence of Dr. ████████, regardless of whether it is inflicted by the person who administered SCP-XXXX.
Test XXXX-F
Doctor: Dr. ████████
Subject: Dr. ████████
Procedure: Dr. ████████ Injects himself with SCP-XXXX. No symptoms of any kind manifest for thirty minutes after injection. Dr. ████████ then prepares to cut himself with a scalpel. As the blade makes contact with the skin, Dr. ████████ throws the scalpel across the room and collapses to the ground, making incoherent sounds. The episode lasts for approximately █ hours, at the conclusion of which Dr. ████████ explains that he was overcome by two mutually exclusive desires; not to interrupt himself, and to avoid hurting himself.
Analysis: Dr. ████████ was placed on psychiatric observation for █ days following the procedure. After █ days, he attempted to harm himself again, and suffered a similar episode. Testing regarding the longevity of SCP-XXXX's effects are still under way. Dr. ████████ Has been placed under indefinite psychiatric observation and is not to be assigned to any other SCP.
Incident Report XXXX-A
On ██/██/████ SCP-XXXX breached containment while being moved from Site-131 to Site-108 for experiment XXXX-D. Breach lasted for ███ days before similar events to the original acquisition arose in ████████, Nebraska, thirty kilometers from the highway the convoy was traveling. It is unclear how SCP-XXXX performs teleportation, however it seems to be driven out of a desire to be used on new subjects. As with the initial breach, SCP-XXXX replaced itself with a standard bottle of Lidocaine. Witnesses and victims were treated with Class A Amnestics and subsequently released. Containment procedures updated, SCP-XXXX is no longer to be transported for testing.
Syringe filled with SCP-XXXX
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in one of two adjacent standard containment cells at Containment Site-131. In the cell not occupied by SCP-XXXX a standard bottle of Lidocaine is to be housed in an identical fashion. Both cells are to be equipped with constant video surveillance, and three times per 24 hours two D-class personnel are to make visual contact with the contents of both cells, confirming with Site-131 personnel which chamber contains SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX is to be utilized once per day on D-class personnel for non-lethal testing to confirm that the object contained is, in fact, SCP-XXXX. If containment is breached, all containers of Lidocaine are to be secured within a thirty kilometer radius of Site-131. This radius constitutes only an initial search area, and is to be expanded should it prove insufficient at locating SCP-XXXX after a breach.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a 100mL rubber-capped bottle containing approximately 50mL of an unidentified transparent fluid. The bottle itself resembles a container of Lidocaine1, however it possesses no identifying features or a label of any kind. Attempts to remove the fluid by means other than piercing the rubber cap with a syringe have proven ineffective. Attempting to release the fluid from the syringe carrying it results in no apparent matter exiting the end of the syringe, though fluid can be clearly seen in the chamber. Despite numerous tests consuming over 400mL of fluid, the level of fluid in SCP-XXXX has not decreased. It is as of yet unclear whether fluid is actually being removed from SCP-XXXX when utilized or if it spontaneously regenerates lost fluid.
SCP-XXXX's primary anomalous effect manifests when fluid from SCP-XXXX is injected into a syringe filled with SCP-XXXX makes sub-dermal contact with any Homo Sapiens and the plunger is pressed. Syringes used for this purpose exhibit no anomalous properties. Once injected, the subject will report that it is working in an identical fashion to Lidocaine. From this point the individuals associated are referred to as the applicator (individual who injected SCP-XXXX), and the subject (individual affected by SCP-XXXX). Any act performed by the applicator against the subject will produce no pain stimuli of any kind, and any damage caused by these actions will not manifest until the applicator is no longer directly observing the subject.
SCP-XXXX's secondary anomalous effect manifests sporadically. At unknown intervals SCP-XXXX will teleport, trading places with a standard bottle of Lidocaine within a thiry kilometer radius. It has not been observed to occur twice within a twenty-four hour period, nor has it been observed to target any substance other than Lidocaine, however testing of this nature is difficult given the irregular intervals at which the phenomenon occurs. Personnel present at the time of relocation are subject to a cognitohazard, which causes extreme uncertainty in the afflicted individual. Individuals afflicted by SCP-XXXX's teleportation will adamantly dispute whether or not SCP-XXXX can be, has been, will ever be, and is contained or containable. These hazards have thus far failed to transmit to other personnel, however individuals afflicted are to be considered a security risk due to a compulsion to discuss SCP-XXXX.
Acquisition: SCP-XXXX was recovered from the dental practice of Dr. ██████ after several police reports against the practice attracted the attention of Foundation personnel. Reports consisted primarily of accusations of malpractice, insisting that the doctor did not use a proper anesthetic for his procedures. Every individual who pressed charges, however, was found to have undergone a full dental procedure in one fashion or another, and in no case did they attempt to stop the doctor from operating, even by their own accounts. One subject, who had undergone a root canal at Dr. ██████'s practice, was interviewed upon detention.
Interview XXXX-A Log
Interviewed: ██████ ████████████
Interviewer: Dr. ███
Foreword: ████████ █████ is a resident of the town in which SCP-XXXX was discovered, and a victim of its effects. He was approached by Foundation Personnel when the investigation began, upon which an interview was conducted. Mr. █████'s cheek is substantially swollen, having received a root canal from Dr. ██████ the week prior.
Dr. ███: It is my understanding, Mr. █████, that you actually went to Dr. ██████'s practice twice.
Mr. █████: That's correct.
Dr. ███: Why would you go a second time?
Mr. █████: It's a small town, and the first time I went wasn't the worst. That was just a deep cleaning, I figured I hadn't been numbed right, or that it was all in my head. Either way, I needed the root canal and he was the only dentist in town.
Dr. ███: So when you went the second time, what happened?
Mr. █████: He stuck me with the needle about four times, like a dentist normally would, and let me sit for a few minutes to go look at my X-rays. While he was gone I started to get worried because I wasn't getting numb, so I figured I'd tell him about it when he got back.
Dr. ███: And why didn't you?
Mr. █████: I couldn't. I just couldn't. As soon as he was back I just smiled and acted like everything was fine and dandy, I even lied about being numb where he stuck me. I wanted to get up and run when I realized what was going on but there was this feeling that it would hurt more than what was about to happen. It's hard to explain.
Dr. ███: Did the doctor seem to know what was going on?
Mr. █████: No, I don't think he knew I wasn't numbed right. I sure didn't give him reason to believe otherwise, even once he started drilling and I was screaming internally. I think I even caught myself humming at one point.
Dr. ███: So you were experiencing pain the entire time?
Mr. █████: Yes. As soon as I got to my car, which i parked on the other side of the block, I broke down for God knows how long. I don't even remember the walk there I was in such blinding pain, When I came to, it was dark. The pain had subsided enough that I could focus and I got myself to the hospital, where they gave me painkillers. Jaw had swollen to twice the normal size by that point.
Dr. ███: But the dentist didn't make note of any swelling during the operation?
Mr. █████: No, it didn't happen until I was outside.
Closing Statement: Mr. █████ was administered class A amnestics and was returned to civilian life without difficulty. X-rays of his root canal show it to have been performed flawlessly aside from the excess inflammation.
SCP-XXXX was found to have been in frequent use by Dr. ██████, who claimed to have had no knowledge of its anomalous properties. He claimed that it had arrived with a standard shipment of Lidocaine, and that he had not seen anything unusual about the bottle other than the lack of a label, which he had assumed was a manufacturer's error. Dr. ██████ was relocated to ███████████████, where he now practices Oral Hygiene after administration of Class B Amnestics.
Test Log Format:
Date:
Time:
Transcript:
Foreword: All testing overseen by Dr. ███. Testing has shown that the site at which SCP-XXXX is administered does not have any influence on its effects, nor does dosage, and as such this information has been omitted. For specific test logs pertaining to these conclusions please contact Dr. ███ or his assistant, ███████ ███████.
Date: 12/██/200█
Time:14:██
Transcript: D-class personnel (henceforth subject) is injected with SCP-XXXX by Dr. ███. Subject is pricked with needle on right index finger. Subject appears to experience no pain as a result, nor do they attempt to stop Dr. ███. Dr. ███ leaves the testing area, and subject begins exhibiting pain, including producing a small amount of blood from the wound. When Dr. ███ returns to the testing area, subject ceases all symptoms and blood disappears.
Date: 13/██/200█
Time: 09:██
Transcript: Subject injected with SCP-XXXX by Dr. ███. Subject's right index finger severed surgically. Subject does not exhibit any sign of pain, nor does any blood come from the severed extremity. Dr. ███ leaves the testing area. Subject begins thrashing and bleeding, causing blood to scatter sparsely over a large portion of the testing area. Dr. ███ re-enters the testing area, upon which the subject ceases all symptoms of pain, and all blood again disappears.
Date: 13/██/200█
Time: 10:██
Transcript: Subject injected with SCP-XXXX by Dr. ███ and connected to a heart monitor. Subject shot through head with 9mm pistol. Subject exhibits no symptoms of pain, however heart monitor ceases registering a heartbeat. Dr. ███ checks for a pulse, and heart monitor begins beeping. Dr. ███ leaves the room, and a large splatter of blood is seen to erupt from the subject's head wound, covering a large portion of the test area floor and wall. Subject goes limp, and Dr. ███'s assistant confirms that the subject is dead. Dr. ███ re-enters test area, causing all blood to vanish and causing the subject to stand and approach Dr. ███. Subject does not respond to any further questioning, however seems completely unwilling to allow Dr. ███ to stop observing it. Subject removed by Site-131 security and remains are cremated.
Date: 14/██/200█
Time:13:██
Transcript: Dr. ███ proceeds to enter morgue containing cremated remains of previous test subject. Upon direct visual contact with ashes, [REDACTED]
Addendum: Further testing with SCP-XXXX restricted to use D-class personnel exclusively for all aspects of testing.
Instance of SCP-0001-1 after being detained
Item #: SCP-0001-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-0001-J currently cannot be contained by conventional means. Until such means become available to the foundation a group of no less than twelve (12) interns are to be given no less than twelve (12) laptop computers with internet access (and safesearch turned ON), and are to monitor popular forums and content sharing sites. Possible incidents of SCP-0001-J outbreaks are to be reported to Foundation staff immediately and contingency Rho-Rho-Rho-Your-Boat is to be implemented. Interns are to be rotated every month and amnesticized before being returned to civilian life it was found that interns used for this purpose hardly remember what they were doing anyways, or that they were even employed by the Foundation. This does not appear related to SCP-0001-J.
Description: SCP-0001-J is a memetic contagion spread through various forms of content sharing websites, specifically where users may supply their own input. Any time between 0.3 and 1 seconds after a new post is made, a user, henceforth SCP-0001-J-1, will post the word "first" wherever user input is visible (comment sections, forums, etc). The existence of this post is immediately anomalous, inciting increased aggression and irrationality in approximately thirty percent of viewers. Whenever an instance of SCP-0001-J-1 makes itself known, an instance of SCP-0001-J-2 will manifest and make a second post, again appearing at inhumanly fast speeds, berating the first user for their lack of originality.
In the event that both SCP-0001-J-1 and -2 manifest, there is a 1 in 100,000 chance that the string of posts as a whole will become anomalous, causing all who view it to become SCP-0001-J-3 instances. These instances will post more varied, but still entirely predictable, text, such as "third" and "fourth". The order in which these appear seems to be random. The size of the thread is directly proportionate to how many people are lured into viewing it, making early detection essential in averting potential crises.
Additionally, SCP-0001-J-3 instances are prone to a dramatic decrease in rationality, and testing has indicated a drop in approximately 10-20 IQ points per viewing of SCP-0001-J after becoming an instance of SCP-0001-3. This effect appears permanent until the original post has become inaccessible, dissipating at a reduced rate if only user input is disabled.
In 2005, the first near-RTIWGU2-class end of the world scenario was detected and averted. Though the process took nearly █ years to fully dissipate, Foundation efforts were successful in averting a crisis. Since then, however, numerous minor outbreaks have been reported from hundreds of other sites on the internet, including I█████.com, R████.com, S██-████.net, and Y██████.com. These outbreaks have affected at most ███ people, and tend not to gain enough momentum to threaten the stability of mankind.
It is currently the subject of Foundation research if SCP-0001-J might be used to quell uprisings in the Middle East.
Incident Log 0001-J-A-1
Foreword: The following is a log of posts made on ██/██/200█ on Y██████.com. The incident was a small resurgence of the original SCP-0001-J outbreak, and was handled (in what would become the standard procedure for dealing with such outbreaks) by changing the websites interface and deleting the related page, along with any other pages thought to be potential carriers of the contagion under the pretense of "copyright infringement".
The video that the log was salvaged from was determined to be from a popular content provider, who later became a person of interest to the Foundation as a potential source of the contagion.
The log has been transcribed into a non-anomalous form, however editing of this section is forbidden by order of O5-Command to eliminate any chance of an outbreak.
Transcript: (Video was posted at 08:30:10)
08:30:10 Minecartrider6969: First!
08:30:10 Lorddirtcanoe: Thes [EXPLETIVE] [REDACTED] plyrs r so [EXPLETIVE] imatur.
08:30:11 Codguy420: 4th!
08:30:11 [NAME REDACTED]: CHECK OUT MY CHANEL [LINK REDACTED] GUYS
08:30:12 ayylmao: 7th!
08:30:14 memelord421: 1rd
08:30:14 Mkay60123: seriusly dude?
08:30:15 Moooooo123: 1st
08:30:16 [EXPLETIVE]:[EXPLETIVE][EXPLETIVE] the [EXPLETIVE][EXPLETIVE][EXPLETIVE][EXPLETIVE][EXPLETIVE] and [EXPLETIVE][EXPLETIVE][EXPLETIVE][EXPLETIVE] but [EXPLETIVE][EXPLETIVE] you.
Addendum: Dr. █████: First.
Addendum: Junior Researcher ████: Oh of course you get first, you wrote the [EXPLETIVE] thing. Real [EXPLETIVE] original.
Item #: SCP-XXX-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX-J is contained within Site-69, which was specially constructed around SCP-XXX-J due to the immovability of the object. While the mechanism of SCP-XXX-J itself is non-threatening,
Description: SCP-XXX-J is the mechanism contained within a ten story abandoned office building in ████████, Alaska. While the building is rectangular, the mechanism is composed of a cylindrical tower, consuming approximately eighty percent of the building's volume. This mechanism forms an outlet on the second story, into what appears to be a packaging and shipping area at the base of the structure. at the top of the cylinder, on the tenth story, is a receptacle for accepting various materials. At the base of the structure is a basic control panel which, when a request for any given item is entered, will activate the mechanism.
The material receptacle feeds onto a conveyor belt lined with large, self-sharpening blades, which break down any material placed within the mechanism. Once material has been sufficiently diced, is it deposited down from the ninth story to the eighth story where, if the material is susceptible, it is melted down by enormous convection cells lining the floors of the mechanism. Any materials capable of being melted are funneled down to the sixth floor, while those not capable of being melted are dropped to the seventh. Materials on the seventh floor are "blended" into a fine powder by a colossal spinning blade that encompasses the entire floor and coated with a spray-adhesive of unknown qualities before being dropped to the fourth floor. Materials on the sixth floor are poured into moulds before being cooled on the fifth floor, which contains complex refrigeration units, and are dropped to the second floor. The fourth floor moulds the adhesive-lined powder in a way that does not involve heat before dropping them to the third floor, where air jets force the adhesive to dry. The second floor serves as what appears to be a "quality control" center, where objects produced by SCP-XXX are compared via camera to existing models. All products of the mechanism are then dropped to the first floor for labeling and shipping.
When a request is entered into the control panel, the machine will open the material receptacle at the top, which will remain open until matter is fed into the device. No matter what request is entered into the panel, the machine will only produce thematically-inclined dildos of various design.
The dildos range from standard, cylindrical plastic to vibrating, inflatable, gyrating, electrode-studded, rotating, throbbing, squirting and mixed designs and some have been noted to contain mechanisms the purpose of which cannot be determined, but test subjects claim they "won't ever do without again". The dildos range from three to twenty-four inches, can be double-sided, accept a variety of batteries when required, and in testing performed satisfactorily. Names appearing on the packaging of said dildos include "Dildotron", "Daddy Machine", "The Penis Mightier", "Bae", "Intern's Cigar", and several thousand others (for a complete list, see Addendum XXX-J-2). How the machine manufactures complex machinery is unknown, as the products perfectly match the mass of the materials fed into the mechanism.
Depending on what was entered into the control panel the dildos will be themed appropriately: for example, if the word "football" was entered into the panel, the head of the dildo will be shaped like a football helmet. Alternatively, if the word "dildo" is entered into the machine, the produced dildo will, inexplicably, be more "dildo-ey" (as described by test subjects) than any other (this is a potentially anomalous effect). The designation "SCP-173" was entered into the machine, which produced a life-size replica of SCP-173, comprised of identical materials, albeit in the shape of a phallus. When not in a direct line of sight, it has been heard to vibrate to the tune of "Ain't Nothin' Wrong With That" from the "colorblind" album by Robert Randolph, and produces a sticky, white subtance
Material fed into the mechanism also influences the output of the machine. Plastic and lighter metals seem to be ideal, however the machine will accept any material. When titanium was fed into the machine, it was diced into powder and moulded into a phallus before giving the name "Trouser Rocket". Forty pounds of sirloin steak were fed into the device, which were processed in a similar manner and labeled "Cowboy's Other Holster". A live cat was fed into the device, resulting in [DATA EXPUNGED] but test subjects said it was "delightfully squishy". Requests to feed a D-Class into the mechanism have been repeatedly denied, as has cross-testing with other SCP's.
Addendum XXX-J-1: Recorded test logs involving SCP-XXX-J were expunged by Dr. ████████ stating they offer "nothing of interest to the scientific community and are a waste of space". Dr. ████████ was heavily reprimanded for the deletion of over 40Tb of video and over 20,000 testing-related photographs and drawings.
Addendum XXX-J-2: Names produced by SCP-XXX-J (Continued)
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: The locations SCP-XXXX is known to seek landfall are to be collectively known as Site-131, and are to have a permanent Foundation presence.
Site-131A ██████ Greece
Site-131B ██████ Italy
Site-131C ██████████ Turkey
Site-131D ███████ Turkey
Site-131E ████ Italy
Site-131F ██████ Greece,
Site-131G ████████ Syria
Site-131H ████████ Israel
Site-131I ███████ Spain
Site-131J ████████████ Spain
Site-131K ████████ Albania
Site-131L ██████████ Jordan
Site-131M ████████ France
Site-131N █████████ Portugal
Site-131O █████████ France
Site-131P ███████ England
Site-131Q ███████████ Germany
Site-131R ██████████ Norway
Site-131S ███████████ Sweden
Staff at these locations are not to be contacted by the Foundation outside of a breach scenario as they are considered deep undercover in the interest of prolonged containment. In the event of a breach, Foundation personnel will be assigned to work with local governments to institute biological quarantines on affected areas. These personnel are to function as civilian researchers and are not to contact the Foundation unless anomalous events are observed to occur during the quarantine or the quarantine ends.
Testing on SCP-XXXX is only to occur when it seeks landfall in ██████ Italy, the least populated of the ports it visits. Although the diseases spread by SCP-XXXX are largely curable and treatable with common modern medicine practices, only D-Class Personnel are to be sent onto the ship and are to be terminated immediately after testing to prevent any risk of contamination.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an unnamed galley of fourteenth century design, constructed of heavily decayed wood and rusted iron, which has been credited with bringing the Bubonic Plague, or Black Death, to the European continent in 1348 through ██████ Italy. First sightings of the vessel are found in records dating back to 1320 in shoreline cities of the Mediterranean Sea ranging from modern day Israel to southern Spain, and some unverified sightings as far north as ████████████, Norway. Each account matches the description of SCP-XXXX to varying degrees, remaining consistent only in their account of the material the ship was made of, the potency of its stench, and the presence of a single crewman. The Bubonic Plague, originally thought to merely be carried by the Galley, seems to have actually been initiated by the Galley's anomalous nature (See Interview XXXX-A). From approximately 1300 to modern day, the Galley has been sighted in proximity to outbreaks of the Plague in areas ranging from northern Africa, mainland Europe, the British Isles and the Nordic Peninsulas.
SCP-XXXX carries three varieties of Plague: Bubonic, Septicaemic and Pneumonic, targeting the lymph nodes, blood and pulmonary systems respectively. While the Plague has been observed to occur naturally anywhere with a population of rodents, the particular outbreak responsible for the deaths of approximately 30-40% of the European population during the fourteenth century is claimed to have been caused by SCP-XXXX, however the Foundation has discovered no substantial evidence that this is true. While the Plague naturally results from the mutation of bacteria in the digestive systems of various rodents, samples taken from SCP-XXXX and -1 possess genetic markers that indicate over seven hundred mutations of Plague so far observed, making immunity virtually impossible to obtain. In testing, individuals who were treated for one strain of the Plague, assumed now to be immune, and sent back onto SCP-XXXX were able to contract the same disease a second time.
Containment of SCP-XXXX was originally initiated by local sailors at sites it visited who, as the vessel drew close, realized the stench it carried and made attempts to repel it from their ports. The only effective means discovered so far of accomplishing this is the use of flaming arrows: no other means up to and including cannonfire and, more recently, short ranged missiles, have had any effectiveness. As such this containment method is to be considered a ritual, which must be performed whenever SCP-XXXX is sighted.
SCP-XXXX itself spontaneously materializes several nautical miles from the ports it visits. Invariably this happens under dense cloud cover such that satellites cannot observe it, out of sight of the shoreline, and in areas absent of ships. Known destinations receive a visit from SCP-XXXX once every ten years on a consistent date, relevant to each location.
Expeditions onto the deck of SCP-XXXX have revealed that it has one living crew member, henceforth SCP-XXXX-1, who has not been observed to leave the ships rudder. He has spoken with Foundation personnel openly, though he only speaks an unusual mix of German, Spanish, Italian, Latin and Hebrew, but has demonstrably been able to understand each of these languages spoken individually. This presents a challenge as no personnel are capable of translating his speech immediately due to spontaneous changes in both language and syntax his speech presents. Personnel who venture onto the deck of SCP-XXXX are invariably infected with a strain of the Bubonic Plague regardless of precautions taken. D-Class Personnel who have been infected are to be terminated immediately following debriefing and Foundation Researchers are to be administered wide-spectrum antibiotics and observed for two weeks before being returned to service.
SCP-XXXX-1 has the appearance of a heavily decayed male of approximately thirty years of age, covered in various boils consistent with so-called "bubons" around the joints of his limbs. His head, as a result of a cluster of boils on his neck, is permanently angled to his right. Any motion causes him to express great pain as a result of his condition. Despite his presence having been consistently reported for over six hundred years, he does not seem aware that any time has passed since the first sighting of SCP-XXXX. The means for his preservation have not been determined, nor that of the ship itself. Attempts to remove SCP-XXXX-1 from SCP-XXXX have resulted in an anomalous reaction where all personnel present on the deck of SCP-XXXX are immediately afflicted with late-stage symptoms of the Plague, and will die if not sedated and treated within fifteen minutes.
Interview: XXXX-A
Subject: SCP-XXXX-1
Interviewer: Dr. ██████
Foreword: Dr. ██████ volunteered to initiate communications with SCP-XXXX-1, his Ph.D in linguistics, hopeful that he would be able to translate the ancient dialect. Understanding of SCP-XXXX was limited at the time of this interview, and as such Dr. ██████ was equipped with a Foundation-issue hazardous materials suit before boarding SCP-XXXX. Future ventures onto the vessel are handled by D-Class personnel when it became clear that avoiding infection would be impossible regardless of precautions. All logs have been translated for convenience.
Log Begin
Dr. ██████: What is your name?
XXXX-1: I was once Marco of ████████████. That name no longer has meaning, I am the harbinger of God's Wrath.
Dr. ██████ pauses for a few moments as he attempts to translate the response. He explained later that while he understood a few words, it was impossible to translate on the spot. Eventually he decides simply to move on to the next question.
Dr. ██████: Why are you on this ship?
XXXX-1: God spoke to me, told me the folly of my ways and that of my bretheren. He showed me what was to come, and told me that I must follow. The world must be wiped clean.
Dr. ██████: Do you know how long you have been at sea?
XXXX-1: I pay heed only to my task. They have resisted me, but judgement will not be discouraged and neither shall I.
Dr. ██████: Where did your ship set sail from?
XXXX-1: This vessel is not of any port of man. I was called to it, and it was there.
(Dr. ██████ leaves the vessel as symptoms of the Plague begin to manifest in him. Interview concluded.)
Afterword: The name given either did not exist or was not significant enough to link to any specific individual of the appropriate time period.
Interview: XXXX-B
Subject: SCP-XXXX-1
Interviewer:D-10985
Foreword: After the previous test it was decided that due to the difficulties in translating SCP-XXXX-1's language and the invariability of infection that D-Class personnel would be given pre-translated questions to ask SCP-XXXX-1, and the recordings would be translated later.
D-10985 boards the vessel and approaches the rudder. SCP-XXXX-1 quickly takes notice of him. D-10985 repeatedly complains about the stench and the sight of SCP-XXXX-1, but eventually complies with commands to approach the rudder.
D-10985: Ugh…I'm gonna be sick.
XXXX-1: Have you come to aid me? To repent?
D-10985: Oh God it can talk?! okay uhh… (D-10985 flips through a notebook given to him, containing the questions he was instructed to ask. He cannot understand the questions himself as they have been transcribed into Hebrew.) What happened to the crew of this vessel?
XXXX-1: Those who boarded with me sought shelter, but when faced with it would not accept it. I heeded the word of the Lord, and was not claimed by his pestilence. One later sought me out, a man who claimed to be a healer. He tried to cure that which is not a disease, but a judgement. He was punished accordingly before being cast from the deck.
D-10985: ..alrighty then. uhh…(D-10985 begins to clear his throat with increased frequency and seems to be gagging at the stench.) Why do you run from flaming arrows?
XXXX-1: I do not run from it, I accept it as a sign that my presence is not yet necessary. When the arrows cease, the way has been cleared, and God has removed those who stand in the way of his judgement.
D-10985: No, no I can't do this, it smells so damn bad, and it only gets worse when this thing talks. I'm gonna puke if I stay here. (D-10985 returns to research staff on the SCPS Valley where he is terminated immediately for fear of spreading disease. Interview concluded prematurely.)
Afterword: The individual mentioned by SCP-XXXX-1 has not been identified by the Foundation. If such an individual existed, record of such has not been discovered. Future tests would give D-Classes gas masks as a means of mitigating the stench aboard SCP-XXXX.
