A photograph of SCP-XXXX prior to containment, photograph taken by [REDACTED].
Item #: XXXX
Object Class: Euclid Neutralized Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX-1 is to be contained in a standard-issue containment cell fitted with the following:
1. A cat condo.
2. A pet food dispenser.
3. A small-medium sized bowl of water.
4. Cat toys (IE: Robotic mice).
5. A laser pointer in the red-blue range on the electromagnetic spectrum in order to distract SCP-XXXX.
6. A thermally-heated cat bed.
7. A set of four air heaters set to 36° fahrenheit placed in locations frequently visited by SCP-XXXX.
8. A audio-recording device (IE: Radio, tape recorder, casette tape, computer, ETC) playing noises only audible to carnivoran mammals, in order to soothe SCP-XXXX.
9. A scratching post.
10. The Q.N.L.P.C. (Quantum-Non Local Particle Containment) device.
11. A set of at least four CCTV cameras.
Under no circumstances is SCP-XXXX-1 to come in contact with any anomaly relating to and/involving a true vacuum energy state and/or any other anomaly heavily involving quantum mechanics in order to avoid a VK-class reality reconstruction scenario. Any Foundation employee involved with an anomaly relating to quantum mechanics is not to form a relationship with SCP-XXXX-1, and class-A ammestics are to be administered as soon as possible. In order to prevent a containment breach, SCP-XXXX-1 must be fed two times a day. Any cracks in SCP-XXXX-1's containment chamber are to be sealed in order to prevent a possible containment breach by SCP-XXXX-1.
Given SCP-XXXX-1's nature, no medical treatment is required; although food is to be given once a shift is completed. A containment shift for SCP-XXXX is to conclude after six hours. Any containment shifts are to be conducted by staff occupying the following positions:
1. Two or more physicist specializing in quantum mechanics.
2. A veterinarian and/or a zoologist.
3. One or more D-class personnel.
4. A security guard armed with a tranquilizer dart gun.
5. One or more members of the Site 45 janitorial staff (D-class personnel are also applicable).
6. Two or more physicist specializing in particle physics.
7. Four or more security officers manning the CCTV feed.
8. An exterminator either in Foundation employment and/or of a private entity; class-A amnestics are optional depending on risk.
The Q.N.L.P.C device is to be active at all times, with power directly linked to Site 45's 500 kW fission reactor, and is to be manned by a team of physics PhDs specializing in particle physics and/or quantum mechanics. At least 2% of the power generated from Site 45's fission reactor is to be directed towards the Q.N.L.P.C device.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon relating to an anomalous breed of the domestic cat, hence forth referred to as SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 is an anomalous specimen of domestic cat, resembling an overweight elderly specimen of the domestic shorthair breed. By the time in which this iteration of the SCP-XXXX-1 article was written, SCP-XXXX-1 is approx. twelve years old.
Due to the anomalous physiology of SCP-XXXX-1 (See bellow), SCP-XXXX-1 is considered to be genderless. The subject possesses bodily features not found in non-anomalous versions of the domestic cat. For example, unlike other domestic cats, as well as most vertebrates, SCP-XXXX-1 lacks the following body parts:
1. A proper digestive system.
2. Reproductive organs.
3. Any and all sex hormones, as well as hormones used for similar purposes.
4. A navel.
5. Whiskers.
Instead, the subject possesses a series of organs used for both controlling waste and reproduction, referred as SCP-XXXX-1-A by the Foundation. SCP-XXXX-1-A is located in the stomach area of SCP-XXXX-1, and serves as an analogue for the aforementioned body parts in which the subject lacks. When any substance enters SCP-XXXX-1-A, regardless of whether or whether not it is edible, the substance will be converted into heat, which will be excreted from an organ located near SCP-XXXX-1's spine. After excretion, the heat will remain in the same area, unless SCP-XXXX-1 is damaged; which is believed to be related to SCP-XXXX-1's other anomalous property.
SCP-XXXX-1 is capable of assuming the position of objects smaller than itself, at the expense of its bodily mass via quantum teleportation. After assuming the position of its prey, SCP-XXXX-1 will absorb a certain percentage of its prey's mass into its own. When lacking in prey, the subject will teleport some of the previously excreted heat to its current location, and will absorb it into its own body mass. The amount of matter teleported to the subject is relative to the amount of damaged body mass.
When an instance of SCP-XXXX-1 expires, the heat excreted from the SCP-XXXX-1-A organ will re-arrange itself into a newborn kitten resembling SCP-XXXX-1, hence forth named SCP-XXXX-2. Subject will eventually mature into an instance of SCP-XXXX-1. However, subject lacks the SCP-XXXX-1-A organ until maturation. In addition, subject also possesses the memory of its deceased counterpart(s). How SCP-XXXX-2 retains the memory of its previous counterparts is unknown, and research onto how this process works is ongoing.
Recovery log: SCP-XXXX-1 was first discovered in an abandoned building located in Discovery Bay, Hong Kong, in the year 198█. SCP-XXXX-1 was contained via being lured into a portable kennel, and being sedated via a noise only audible to carnivoran mammals. After initial containment, class-A amnestics were administered to both the subject, and those who had been in contact with the subject. A Foundation cover story was released stating that any instance(s) of SCP-XXXX-1 were caused by a noxious gas released by a terrorist cell that had since been disbanded.
Addendum: On October 24th, 200█, SCP-XXXX-1 was released into a sound-proof room that housed a ''dumb hole'' produced by a fluid of [DATA EXPUNGED] moving at 4x times the speed of sound. Subject was pulled into the dumb hole, and was reduced into the phonon equivalent to Hawking radiation. SCP-XXXX was considered neutralized due to the lack of a(ny) new SCP-XXXX-2 specimens, until the Foundation received reports of a ''devil cat'' teleporting to and/or absorbing domestic animals owned by people who had previously fed the subject in ████ road, Anchorage Alaska. Subject was quickly recontained, and class-A amnestics were administered soon after.
There was once a cat, but this cat wasn't a regular cat. The cat had some, well, I'll be nice and say "differences". Like many cats, it was overweight, but unlike other cats, it never chose to eat too much food. Some people would say that this would qualify as torture, whilst others say it was for the "greater good". But why did people argue about this, one may ask? It's just a slightly abnormal cat, wasn't it?
No. The cat possessed an ability that no sentient being, let alone a human being, could do on its own. The cat could go wherever it wanted, whenever it wanted, and the only way to satisfy it was to pamper it; and so its owners did. Especially this one man. He was a nice man. He loved the cat, and the cat loved him back. Every day, he would visit the cat, and with him, came treats. The man loved the cat as if it were his own child. Every time the cat would disappear, he would be the first to try and find it; or vice versa on certain occasions.
Then, one day, the man came into the room with the cat. He pet the cat, and fed it. Suddenly, there was a noise. A very loud noise. It sounded like lightning, and a late splash of water at the same time. Shortly after, the man fell; and blood started to ooze out of his back. The cat was sad; sadder than it had ever been before. For a brief few seconds, it stood there, looking at the one it loved so much, however, before it could do anything else, four more figures that looked like the man walked into the room. In their arms layed several black boxes, each with mouths.
The men pointed their black boxes at the cat, scaring it. Then, suddenly, the cat disappeared; far away from its home. The cat was scared, and alone; or so it thought. Suddenly, the cat felt a warmth.
Due to the anomalous nature of 2871-1, it was decided that experiments involving 2871-1 and other objects, both anomalous and non-anomalous, should be conducted.
Item:
Pre-Experiment Procedures:
Results:
Notes:
Item: SCP-2871-1
Procedure: Prior to testing, it was unknown if SCP-2871-1's ability to absorb an object's mass into its own required concentration or not, and if the composition of the object being absorbed affected SCP-2871-1's ability(ies).
The current SCP-2871-1 instance was sedated with a noise audible to carnivoran mammals, and was transported into a chamber filled with common labrats spliced with SCP-143 genes.
Results: Soon after awakening from its slumber, SCP-2871-1 attempted to absorb one of the genetically modified rats, however, the rat managed to outmanuever SCP-2871-1, resulting in SCP-2871-1 absorbing some of the mass of the floor into its own. After several attempted assaults, SCP-2871-1 looses interest, and teleports 45 km away from the site of the test. The rats were kept for experimentation, and SCP-2871-1 was re-contained soon after the experiment ended.
Notes: Further testing between SCP-2871-1 and SCP-143 is to be discontinued due to a lack of reason(s) for doing the contrary.
Item Number: SCP-XXXX
Object class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment chamber. Given that SCP-XXXX has no need for nutrition, food and water are not necessary, and request for such are to be denied in order to conserve resources. Due to its low threat level, SCP-XXXX is allowed to roam all non-restricted areas of Sits-45 without staff permission. Access into restricted areas requires Level-3 clearance.
Due to the practical purposes for SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties, cross testing with other items and/or entities, whether anomalous or not, is permitted, and may be conducted by a Foundation staff member of Level-4 clearance.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a middle-aged human male of Nigeran descent when the anomalous effects of the subject are not in place. Prior to containment, subject was known as Jonathan [REDACTED]. Physically, the subject shows no anomalous traits until coming into contact with any material object.
SCP-XXXX is capable of re-arranging his own molecular composition to match a specific material that the subject is in physical contact with. In addition, the subject is also capable of changing his own genetic composition to either an organic being currently making physical contact with SCP-XXXX, or organisms that SCP-XXXX has made physical contact with in the past, and also capable of (biological) regeneration. SCP-XXXX is capable of removing its own organic tissue, which when removed, will either become an identical copy of SCP-XXXX and/or (an) organism(s) that the subject has come into physical contact with in the past.
Subject is also resistant to the effects of entropy, although not entirely immune to its effects. Subject is incapable of transforming into another biological organism when not composed of amino acids, yet is capable of reverting back into his original form. It is unknown how the subject remains conscious when lacking an organic and/or human brain, and research into this is ongoing.
In addition, subject is also capable of changing between one out of the seven states of matter, and may become entangled with objects previously affected with quantum entanglement.
Recovery log: Subject was discovered by Agent [REDACTED] whilst working undercover in [DATA EXPUNGED], Nigeria in the year 198█. Agent [REDACTED] was sent by the Foundation to investigate reports of a circus utilizing anomalous items, believed to be hosted by Herman Fuller's Circus of the Disgusting.
Soon after getting tickets to visit the circus, Agent [REDACTED] witnessed the subject performing as a circus freak, using the stage name "Johnny Boy the Changeling".
Character name: Zakaza Tadiyuki
Equipment: Type 14 Nambu pistol, radio, binoculars, smoke grenades, trench coat, local attire, camera, pen and paper, knife, and a ''magical'' artifact.
Mission: To uncover the ''secret of the SCP Foundation''.
Height: 172 cm.
Weight: 100 kg.
Ethnicity: Japanese.
Affiliation: IJAMEA, Imperial Japan.
Age: Unknown, presumably late 20s-early 30s.
Western Siberia, 10:32 P.M, Asian time.
Blizzards. Most people would rather cower back into their humble abodes, whilst some die as a result of the ferocious winds of the blizzard. Not all people, that is. Some people are brave enough to transcend nature, and a posse of "some of these people" unfortunately perished, but why they died had nothing to do with nature.
"Damn it, I knew we should've gone to Hawaii!"
"Stop being such a pussy, Brian!"
"Who'ya callin' a pussy? If I wasn't in this suit, I'd kick your ass!"
"Shut up, both of you!"
"What? I couldn't hear you!"
"…Nevermind."
"So, is the radio picking anything up?"
"There's this one signal, but all I hear is what sounds like heavy breathing."
"Probably just ice."
"No, it sounds…too human."
"What?!"
"It sounds human!"
"You're talking out of your ass!"
"I didn't say you could hold that-"
"…What the fuck?"
"See, I told you! It's so…human."
"You two are hallucinating, I think we've been out here for too long; we should find a place to rest. Especially you, Regina."
"Agreed."
"What a beautiful fucking night!"
"Depends on your definition of "beautiful"."
"Hey, do you two see that?"
"See what?"
"That light."
"That what?!"
"That light!"
"Wha-Nevermind, I can see it."
''Greetings.''
''Hey, where's that flashlight coming from?''
"Irrelevant.''
"True enough, do you have anywhere we can rest?"
"Affirmative."
"You like speaking professionally, don't you?"
"Irrelevant; now follow me, I shall lead you to my community…"
"Alright, lead the way."
"Very well."
Two hours later, 12:32 P.M.
"Thanks for the help."
"You are all welcomed; would you like some food?"
"No thank you, we already had dinner prior to our hike."
A photograph of SCP-XXXX prior to containment, photograph taken by [REDACTED].
Item #: SCP-3XXX
Object Class: Euclid Keter Neutralized Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3XXX-1 is to be contained in a standard-issue containment cell fitted with the following:
1. A cat condo.
2. A pet food dispenser.
3. A thermally-heated cat bed.
4. A scratching post.
5. A set of at least four CCTV cameras.
Under no circumstances is SCP-3XXX-1 to come in contact with any anomaly relating to and/involving a true vacuum energy state in order to avoid a VK-class reality reconstruction scenario. Any Foundation employee involved with an anomaly relating to the aforementioned phenomena is not to form a relationship with SCP-3XXX-1/SCP-3XXX-2, and class-A amnesiacs are to be administered as soon as possible. Any cracks in SCP-3XXX-1's containment chamber are to be sealed in order to prevent a possible containment breach by SCP-3XXX-1.
Given SCP-3XXX-1's nature, no medical treatment is required; although food is to be given once a shift is completed. Any containment shifts are to be conducted by staff occupying the following positions:
1. Two or more physicists specializing in quantum mechanics.
2. A veterinarian and/or a zoologist.
3. One or more D-class personnel.
4. A security guard armed with a tranquilizer dart gun.
5. One or more members of the Site 45 janitorial staff (D-class personnel are also applicable).
6. Two or more physicists specializing in particle physics.
7. Four or more security officers manning the CCTV feed.
8. An exterminator either in Foundation employment and/or of a private entity; class-A amnesiacs are optional depending on the risk.
In addition, Doctor Miller T. Johnson, the site director of Site 45, is to accompany the shift at all times, due to SCP 3XXX-1's familiarity with Dr. Johnson, unless Dr. Johnson is occupied with more important operations.
Description: SCP-3XXX is an anomalous specimen of the domestic cat, more specifically, the domestic shorthair breed. SCP-3XXX has a lifespan consisting of two stages, henceforth referred to as SCP-3XXX-1 (The kit/juvenile phase), and SCP-3XXX-2. respectively. By the time in which this iteration of the SCP-3XXX article was written, the current SCP-3XXX-2 instance is twelve years old, and resembles a non-anomalous specimen of domestic cat of the same age group.
Due to the anomalous physiology of SCP-3XXX-2 (See below), SCP-3XXX-2 is considered to be genderless. The subject possesses bodily features not present in any other organism, and lacks the following body parts:
1. A proper digestive system.
2. Reproductive organs.
3. Whiskers.
4. A navel.
Instead, the subject possesses a system used for both controlling waste and reproduction, referred as SCP-3XXX-2-A by the Foundation. SCP-3XXX-2-A is located in the stomach area of SCP-3XXX-2. When any substance enters SCP-3XXX-2-A, regardless of whether or whether not it is edible, the substance will be converted into heat, which will be excreted from an organ located near SCP-3XXX-2's spine. After excretion, the heat will remain in the same area, unless SCP-3XXX-2 is damaged; which is believed to be related to SCP-3XXX-2's other anomalous property.
SCP-3XXX-2 is capable of assuming the position of objects smaller than itself, at the expense of its bodily mass via quantum teleportation. After assuming the position of its prey, SCP-3XXX-2 will absorb a certain percentage of its prey's mass into its own. When lacking in prey, the subject will teleport some of the previously excreted heat to its current location, and will absorb it into its own body mass. The amount of matter teleported to the subject is relative to the amount of damaged body mass.
If the subject lacks a sufficient amount of heat and/or prey, 3XXX-2 will attempt to absorb nearby objects at varying degrees of success. The limit to this ability, if such a limit exist, has yet to be discovered, and requires further research.
When an instance of SCP-3XXX-2 expires, the heat excreted from the SCP-3XXX-2-A organ will re-arrange itself into an instance of SCP-3XXX-1, and will mature into a specimen of SCP-3XXX-2 over a period of six months to a year. SCP-3XXX-1 is identical to a non-anomalous specimen of its species, lacks the SCP-3XXX-2-A organ. In addition, subject also possesses the memory of its deceased counterpart(s). How SCP-3XXX-2 retains the memory of its previous counterparts is unknown, and research onto how this process works is ongoing.
Recovery log: SCP-3XXX-2 was first discovered in an abandoned building located in Discovery Bay, Hong Kong, in the year 198█. SCP-3XXX-2 was contained via being lured into a portable kennel, and being sedated via a noise only audible to carnivoran mammals. After initial containment, class-A amnestics were administered to both the subject, and those who had been in contact with the subject. A Foundation cover story was released stating that any instance(s) of SCP-3XXX-2 were caused by a noxious gas released by a terrorist cell that had since been disbanded.
Addendum 01: SCP-3XXX Reclassification and Re-categorization
Prior to 1█/██/20██, SCP-3XXX had previously been categorized by the Foundation under the name ''SCP-2871'', and was classified as a Euclid-class object. However, due to a containment breach that had occurred in [DATA EXPUNGED] during the date 1█/██/20██, SCP-3XXX was considered neutralized due to the lack of a new SCP-3XXX-1, then known as SCP-2871-1, instance materializing. Due to lack of interest in the project, and the search efforts draining money that could have been used for more important issues, the SCP-2871 project was decommissioned and the registry was given to another anomaly.
However, an incident occurring a month later during 1█/██/20██ confirmed that the entity formerly known as SCP-2871-1 was still alive. During the previously established date, SCP Foundation operatives at various locations across the planet dispatched reports of an entity fitting the description of the being now known as SCP-3XXX-1 appearing in the following locations:
1. Palmer Station, Antarctica. Reported by SCP operatives assigned to work undercover at NASA.
2. Nome, Alaska.
3. Site-19.
4. The Vatican.
5. Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.
6. The International Space Station.
7. Jacksonville, Florida.
8. [REDACTED], Greece; Next to SCP-2███.
After SCP-3XXX-2 was caught by Foundation agents during [REDACTED], Greece, SCP-3XXX-2 was re-contained, and given a new registry.
Addendum 02:
After many complaints to the Site Director over 3XXX's Keter classification, Doctor Miller T. Johnson decided to address the criticism directed towards him and his judgement. Said audio recording can be read bellow:
Y'know, people often say to me that 3XXX is just a cat that can teleport some distance, and to an extent, these people are correct. But, how would one define ''Some distance?'' I'll tell you where: The whole, pardon my language, fucking Universe.
Given the education of my colleagues, which likely includes you, the one listening to this, I believe that going into too much detail would be redundant, so I'll just make this quick. Imagine you are a janitor on erh, let's say the Empire State Building, and you are cleaning the roof using a mop and a pale. You fall over, but thankfully, you don't fall off the building, however, your pale does. Bellow you is a very important man or woman, who has the entire world on their shoulders. That bucket falls on the head of that person, and their skull cracks open. Bye bye, Civilized World (Not quite, but you get the idea).
Now replace that politician with the Higgs Field, replace that bucket with an assless cat, and replace the Civilized World with the Universe. The entire Universe dies a slow and painful death, all life stops (Maybe), physics changes, and it's all because of a cat.
The world doesn't go out with a bang, it goes out with a whimper.
Addendum no. 2: Shortly after the containment of SCP-2871-1, a search for objects of interest on the building in which SCP-2871-1 was residing in had been conducted. Whilst tearing the building apart, the Foundation found a receipt addressed to several Foundation groups of interest. A copy of the receipt is listed bellow this paragraph:
RECEIVED FROM: THE ASSOCIATION OF RARE BREEDERS.
AMOUNT: $500,000,0
FOR PAYMENT OF:
100x RARE PALS: THE PERFECT CAT © The Association of Rare Breeders
70x RARE PALS: REPTO-DOGGIE © The Association of Rare Breeders
40x RARE PALS: LESBIAN SEAGULL © The Association of Rare Breeders
80x RARE PALS: TAMED EGYPT © The Association of Rare Breeders
20x RARE PALS: LOST CULTURES © The Association of Rare Breeders
10x RARE PALS: THE FOUNDATION OF MYSTERY © The Association of Rare Breeders
RECEIVED BY: [DATE EXPUNGED]
The Wacky Misadventures of the Good Doctor: Pilot
It was a normal omniverse, a perfect one, the keyword being ''was''. Something was missing, something that defined the Good Doctor's life. The most majestic items in the Omniverse, gone.
''Cack! This storks methinks! Am inquire my continued raisins for perpetual cacking, cack!'' He yelled before going on a several hour long rant about how the cornstarch gods had forsaken him. After devastating everything in at least the radius of one lightyear, Spanko noticed something. It was hard to understand, impossible almost. It appeared to be a hyper realistic giant fetus with a gummy worm in the place of its umbilical cord.
''What and you, methinks Mr. Einstein onto is the Monkey on the top of the swimming pool for unsanity, or how!'' He quacked.
''Foolish dromeosaur! I am too deep and complex for your feeble mind! I am the incarnation of fear, death, I am the des-'' The being couldn't even complete his sentence. Spanko ran at it and ate the gummy worm attached to it, ripping it out before a sudden white flash. It was omnipresent, and only exited to exchange the following words with Spanko:
'HE WHO DOES NOT LOOK OUT FOR THE QUILLS SHALL DIE''
However, before he could fully grasp the message, Spanko woke up to the site of his containment cell. Padded, boring, uninteresting, and the outside was filled with lesser doctors spreading their false medicine and primitive understandings of the Omniverse. But the most repulsing fact was that there were no stranglefruits in his cell, or anywhere in the base.
Stranglefruits. That was all that was on his mind. The most blessed, holy, majestic, commodities in the Omniverse. No amount of currency or political power could compare to it. They were to him to what God is to a priest, or what enlightenment is to a buddhist monk. No, they were God, they were enlightenment. He would obtain them, even if it were the last thing he did on this forsaken, water-ridden, rock.
''Noble turkey stance! I shall broke out of the confectionary chamber! For not enough short, minself have served a sardine sandwich to faucet police! Nevermore!'' He declared, blasting open one of the vents in his cell.
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