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Need a consistent order for news junk - how about SCPs, Tales, GOI Formats, Hubs, Guides, Author Pages

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Table of Contents

SCP Sandbox
You Are Here
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Tales Sandbox
Series Sandbox
Fancy Sandbox
Third Law sandbox

Essay: The Four Types of SCPs

Maheshwarastra

██████████

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is currently uncontained under the terms of the [treaty name] of [year]. Certain operatives in the Global Occult Coalition have been mandated with locating SCP-XXXX and, if they deem such an act possible, convincing it to defect to the Foundation.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a radioactive eigenweapon, codenamed "Mahadeva", that was developed jointly by the Global Occult Coalition and the Department of Parapsychology of Andra Pradesh University in 1989 as part of the RAINBOW ASTRA program, most likely as a response to the death of Arjun Ramakrishna Rao. SCP-XXXX was designed to be able to carry out precision assassinations by simply visualizing a target and then incinerating them, regardless of their location or distance from SCP-XXXX.

Physically, SCP-XXXX is a human male of Indian descent and was 35 years old at the time of its development. It is unclear if SCP-XXXX was anomalous prior to its activation during RAINBOW ASTRA.

SCP-XXXX is capable of generating and emitting high-powered lasers from a point just above and between its eyebrows. It is capable of sustaining a 1-Terawatt laser for a full second¹ and has been able to emit a 1-Petawatt laser for a full millisecond².

minmin note: I would go with concrete descriptor -> jargon — "SCP-XXXX is a [human description] [third eye, laser beam]" for the first paragraph, then "SCP-XXXX was [created] in [year] by [ominous GOC Project Name]. [add ominous methodology/creation circumstances]. [add her job scope]."

Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]

+ Brainstorming

minmin - Today at 12:55 AM
ok we just need something unexpected to do with it
then you have an easy third
im impartial to a mind-weapon though
specifically if the article can play around with the concept of Dharma
in the same way that the other two astras do
vaishnavastra cant be controlled, it just does what its right automatically; brahmastra seems to be controlled by an external force as well to level the site according to dharma
truffles - Today at 12:57 AM
hm
minmin - Today at 12:57 AM
wait
has there been anything on the site thats like
infinite power as long as its nonviolent
truffles - Today at 12:57 AM
the cold fusion paper towel dispenser?
minmin - Today at 12:57 AM
its a pretty established trope after all
oh no like
reality bender that can do wack shit but contained by his own pacifism
NOT cain pls
truffles - Today at 12:59 AM
hm
dmatix wrote one like that
truffles - Today at 1:00 AM
i like the maheshwarastra actually
minmin - Today at 1:00 AM
what was the dmatix one
truffles - Today at 1:00 AM
that's shiva's third eye unleashing its power as a laser beam
@minmin http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1915
minmin - Today at 1:02 AM
no thats normal man
truffles - Today at 1:02 AM
oh i thought that's what you meant
minmin - Today at 1:03 AM
hm kinda?
im thinking really rigid justifications for nonviolence
like ultra-Jain levels
truffles - Today at 1:03 AM
i mean
jainism is the nonviolent religion
minmin - Today at 1:03 AM
so you need to super-lawyer your way through the rules before activating it
truffles - Today at 1:03 AM
hinduism is bloody as all hell
minmin - Today at 1:03 AM
otherwise the astra will fuck you up
yeah igetcha
truffles - Today at 1:04 AM
that's one of the key aspects of dharma in hinduism - sometimes you gotta spill blood to preserve righteousness
minmin - Today at 1:04 AM
ooh
right i forgot about the Gita
truffles - Today at 1:04 AM
that's part of 2820's character arc as well - he doesn't LIKE obliterating people but does it because that's his duty
although I think I can see something
the maheshwarastra being granted to a pacifist
minmin - Today at 1:05 AM
it wouldnt make sense to theme it around dharma 100% i suppose
truffles - Today at 1:05 AM
It's not necessarily theming it around dharma but making the weapon pacifistic goes against its whole purpose
it's not meant to be pacifistic. it's meant to burn and destroy
minmin - Today at 1:06 AM
that would up the stakes a lot i think
like they could use it to intercept missiles or something but be willing to face the negative karma from killing air pathogens and random pigeons
truffles - Today at 1:08 AM
to clarify, which would up the stakes? @minmin(edited)
minmin - Today at 1:09 AM
the fact that the astra is limited to lasering
im picturing it to have some noodle incident origin story and ending up in the hands of one of the big good guys, either SCP or GOC
maybe GOC would be interesting, because the SCP knows it exists but allows the GOC to keep it because they need to help each other tank the negative karma from each use
and the SCP would rather not have to deal with the karmic fallout personally, but is happy to cooperate
truffles - Today at 1:10 AM
ah yeah
i've got a draft actually with a GOC killsat called TRISHULA
minmin - Today at 1:11 AM
entertaining noodle incident is having a pacifist GOC operator somehow obtain the astra, imbuing it with its preconditions
and thats just
truffles - Today at 1:11 AM
actually i could fuck with that
minmin - Today at 1:11 AM
alluded to and never mentioned again
truffles - Today at 1:11 AM
scp-3570 is a goc operator with a third eye
uncontained because he is a goc operator working under the UN
perhaps from the same program that birthed 2498?
minmin - Today at 1:12 AM
3570 doesnt exist
mmmm
oh thats fuckin dope

News Template

Week of MONTH [1st/8th/15th/22nd]:

Short quip about one of the articles posted that week. Does not have to specifically call out any article - the more obtuse the better!

SCPs

• SCP-XXXX ("Mainlist Title") - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Written by Author.
• SCP-YYYY ("Mainlist Title Two") - Up to three lines excerpted from the article itself. Must be italicized. Part of the Canon and co-written by Author 1 and Author 2 does not match any existing user name.

Tales

• Direct link via title of tale - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Part of the Tale series and written by Author.
• If the tale title doesn't match the link, use a page link wizard but copy-paste the actual title. Up to three lines excerpted from the article itself. Must be italicized. Co-written by Author 1 and Author 2 does not match any existing user name.

GOI Formats

• Direct link via title - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Part of the Canon and written by Author.
• If the title doesn't match the link, use a page link wizard but copy-paste the actual title. Up to three lines excerpted from the article itself. Must be italicized. Co-written by Author 1 and Author 2 does not match any existing user name.

Hubs

• Direct link via title - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Written by Author.
• If the title doesn't match the link, use a page link wizard but copy-paste the actual title. Up to three lines excerpted from the article itself. Must be italicized. Co-written by Author 1 and Author 2 does not match any existing user name.

Guides

• Direct link via title - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Written by Author.

Author's Pages

• Username / Username's personnel file / Username's author page - Being the author page of Author!
• Author page that doesn't have author's username. Author 1's author page!

+Code

+++ Week of MONTH [1st/8th/15th/22nd]:

//Short quip about one of the articles posted that week. Does not have to specifically call out any article - the more obtuse the better!//

++++ SCPs

* [[[SCP-XXXX]]] ("Mainlist Title") - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Written by [[*user Author]].
* [[[SCP-YYYY]]] ("Mainlist Title Two") - //Up to three lines excerpted from the article itself. Must be italicized.// Part of the [[[Canon]]] and co-written by [[*user Author 1]] and [[*user Author 2]].

++++ Tales

* [[[Direct link via title of tale]]] - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Part of the [[[Tale series]]] and written by [[*user Author]].
* [[[fakepagename |If the tale title doesn't match the link, use a page link wizard but copy-paste the actual title]]]. //Up to three lines excerpted from the article itself. Must be italicized.// Co-written by [[*user Author 1]] and [[*user Author 2]].

++++ GOI Formats

* [[[Direct link via title ]]] - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Part of the [[[Canon]]] and written by [[*user Author]].
* [[[fakepagename |If the title doesn't match the link, use a page link wizard but copy-paste the actual title]]]. //Up to three lines excerpted from the article itself. Must be italicized.// Co-written by [[*user Author 1]] and [[*user Author 2]].

++++ Hubs

* [[[Direct link via title ]]] - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Written by [[*user Author]].
* [[[fakepagename |If the title doesn't match the link, use a page link wizard but copy-paste the actual title]]]. //Up to three lines excerpted from the article itself. Must be italicized.// Co-written by [[*user Author 1]] and [[*user Author 2]].

++++ Guides

* [[[Direct link via title ]]] - Short description of the article or a tagline. Ideally no more than one or two sentences or twenty-five words. Written by [[*user Author]].

++++ Author's Pages

* [[[Username / Username's personnel file / Username's author page]]] - Being the author page of [[*user Author]]!
* [[[fakepagename |Author page that doesn't have author's username]]]. [[*user Author 1]]'s author page!

January News

« December 2017 | January 2018 | February 2018 »

Welcome to this installment of site news, where we celebrate a new year of SCPs!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month³, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Featured Articles

• The featured articles for December were SCP-2858 ("As Though The Wasps Themselves Had Worked It There") by Taffeta,Six Letters Addressed to the SCP Foundation (and One Letter Home) by ahbonjour, and The Broken Mind by FortuneFavorsBold. The first is about soap made with only the finest wasps, the second is about mail correspondence in a world where the Foundation went public, and the third is about the reconstruction of the Broken God's brain. Check them out!

Editor's Choice Articles

• SCP-3084 ("Seven Strangers at a Feast") - A film takes on a life of its own. Written by Kalinin. Seven Strangers is a fantastically eerie piece, operating on a surreal internal logic and meshing together a collection of classic horror elements in a uniquely Foundation style. Seven Strangers gave me goosebumps and is not to be missed.
• SCP-049-J ("The Plague Fellow") - Gotta get that sweet medieval bitcoin. Written by djkaktus. This is the only good article about 049. It's a terrific riff on the (in)famous doctor and is wickedly funny in its own right. This author gives it two severed thumbs up!
• ...Like Clockwork - This is the end of all. Written by Decibelles. If its progenitor 3999 was an SCP devoted to the author's psyche, Like Clockwork is a tale series devoted to its own author's psyche. It breaks the meta and mold of the wiki in fascinating ways and is a uniquely character-focused take on the end of the world.
• An Old Woman and her Garden - A fairy tale about a sweet old lady and her garden of undead horrors. Written by fieldstone. An Old Woman's unique protagonist and Tim Burton-esque gothic fantasy mesh together to form one of the best creepypastas I've read in recent memory.

Event Featured Articles

The theme for the month of December was knowledge!

• In SCP-2160 ("The Happy Place"), by MountainTimePunch, puppets needed a better actors' guild…
• In SCP-1531 ("Perfect Lie Detector"), by thefran, a lie detector worked, but not by sussing out the truth…
• And in SCP-028 ("Knowledge"), by Dr Gears, man learned things he was not meant to know…

Rest of the News

Missing out on articles? Enjoy a recap on the articles from the past month. Huge thanks to fieldstone and Sly161 for writing the blurbs for this month!

Week of January 1st:

This week in SCPs we had multimedia collaboration, Vincent Anderson himself in containment, pattern screamers made real are not real, and John Cena. We also have an incredible windfall of tales thanks to Gaffney does not match any existing user name's holiday gift exchange! Around here, we know how to start the year off right.

SCPs

• SCP-3618 ("Supply and Demand") - The most important object within SCP-3618-1 is a control board, like that present in 20th century voltmeters. Knobs and switches number 1583 and are each labeled with a socio-economic variable. Written by kemoT01
• SCP-3813 ("he Fall of Hyperion") - Historical records indicate that SCP-3813 was a mechanical war elephant. Multimedia by djkaktus, Zhange, Doctor Cimmerian, and TheVolgun!
• SCP-3331 ("With Apologies To John Cena") - SCP-3331-1 is a humanoid entity with the appearance and physical characteristics of American Professional Wrestler John Cena. All instances suffer from Situs Inversus, and approximately 70% display additional anomalous properties. Written by Mortos.
• SCP-3930 ("The Pattern Screamer") - SCP-3930 does not exist. Written by djkaktus.
• SCP-3675 ("The Void Called") - If more than 50% of the human population dies due to a 3675-Abgrund event, and countermeasures cannot be developed, [[blue|we will all be together.]] Written by Modulum
• SCP-3860 ("The Falcon's Landing") - SCP-3860 is the former PoI-1115 (Vincent Anderson), a 67-year-old white male and former CEO/Founder of GoI-1115 (Anderson Robotics). Written by Jacob Conwell

Tales

• Forgetting the Number of Dead Stars - "I'm going to ask you a series of questions. Please give the first answer that comes to mind, even if it's not knowing any answer. I'll know if you try to lie. Do you understand?" Start of the beautifully brutal Maim the Sky, Slay the Sun series by Pedantique.
• The Man-Machine - I wanted to be near him. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to do things with him, both innocent and depraved. But I never wanted to say that I loved him. Written by A Random Day for Zhange in the art exchange.
• Roach Wrangling at Kiryu Labs - Some days, the researchers at Kiryu labs unlock the secrets of nature. Other days, they write joke interviews with bugs. Where did you think all those -Js were coming from? Written by Zyn.
• Kiryu Labs Roach Wrangling Log - Meet Fad Roach, Chad Roach, Grad Roach, Iliad Roach, and over 30 more in this collaborative log by Zyn and many, many Kiryu Labs "guest researchers."
• Document 3813-L - The Roman general Cladius assembled a defense fleet at Scalia that was able to drive most of the approaching Carthaginian ships back out to sea, but was shattered once SCP-3813 reached the shallower waters and was able to emerge from below the surface. Written/illustrated by djkaktus, Zhange, Doctor Cimmerian, and TheVolgun.
• A Completed Chronicle - Sam Micheals listened to the reasoning, and then he asked the messenger, "How large the country between the Tigris and the canal might be?" "A large district," Sam Micheals replied, "but it matters not. For I am pulled in all directions at once, and I continue to bleed." The best kind of bad trip, by The Great Hippo, written for Varaxous in the art exchange.
• Recovered Media: The Hard-Boiled Adventures of Murphy Law - On 24/12/2017, a Foundation-operated bot (I/O-ISMETA) located a series of archived discussions pertaining to SCP-3143 across several defunct comic book enthusiast forums, totaling 49 posts. Assembled by Petrograd for The Great Hippo in the art exchange.
• On the Slope of Olympus - The survivors broke their formation, starting to rush in, and she knew she was winning. She burst into flames, just to make them afraid. MTF Omega-12 bends the benders in this art exchange entry by fieldstone for Modern_Erasmus.
• Brökkën Güd - This was the culmination of a life-long dream, and victory was so close they could almost taste it. None of them had quite realised how difficult it would be, however, to assemble a Supreme Being with only an allan key and a screwdriver. Written by LilyFlower.
• ...and I'm the star! - I mean, I've seen a lot of weird people — where I come from, weird is normal! Or, no, sorry, where I come from normal is normal, where I went after that weird is normal, and now I'm kind of in a new place where I'm unsure what's weird and not. Still, I've never seen weird like you. Written by DarkStuff as part of Dread and Circuses.
• Sic Semper Tyrannis - This war is over Master. The Karcist is going to kill us all. My only remaining hope is that he does it before he consumes the Goddess rather than after. I could not bare the shame of outliving our maker. Written by Modern_Erasmus for Perelka_L in the art exchange.
• * Herman Fuller Can Shove It Up His Ass - Ol' Herman knows you can't always get powers and immortality and whatnot from book learning. Some of it you get by letting magic worms up your butt. Nobody said thaumaturgy was easy. Written by DrChandra for Dread and Circuses.
• * Anderson the Alternative - What if Anderson had put his talents to work for the Foundation? Written by SunnyClockwork.
• * A History of Reaction - Foundation interference in Garnier's operations invariably results in failure, through the intervention of natural, thaumic, or logistic obstacles that are not ostensibly under Garnier's control. Written by TyGently for Gaffney does not match any existing user name in the art exchange.

Week of January 8th:

Yet another big week at the Foundation, with rock stars, animals, and debates about the distribution of borscht (it's true what they say - anything can be interesting with the right execution).

SCPs

• SCP-3933 ("Bigger Than God") - SCP-3933 is the collective designation for a song titled "Toxic Soul" (SCP-3933-1), written and released in 1980, and the original four members of the Glam Metal band "Tyrannosaurus Flex" (SCP-3933-A through SCP-3933-D), who wrote and performed the song. Written by Mortos
• SCP-3410 ("It's just fucking golf!") - The presence of SCP-3410 exerts a cognitohazardous effect on SCP-3410-A. They will experience a desire to seek out an owner (hereafter SCP-3410-B) of the Quaker State oil company and engage them in a game of golf at Foxburg Country Club. Written by mayoculpa.
• SCP-3497 ("Backfiring Birds") - The Department of External Affairs has established a task force to liaise with regional governments, with the aim of deescalating tensions relating to SCP-3497 sightings. Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
• SCP-3554 ("No. 4 Borscht Canning Factory") - The factory is fully automated and will produce approximately 80,000 cans of borscht per day, under the "Содружество" brand, pre-packaged in shipping pallets. This occurs without any external inputs. Written by Lazar Lyusternik.
• SCP-2786 ("The Archetype") - Due to the nature of the anomaly, this has been deemed safe for reading for the time being. However, contents of the article may fluctuate between readings and may or may not be considered accurate at this time. Written by thebillith does not match any existing user name
• SCP-2235 ("Until the Truth is Known") - Each instance is sentient, and capable of vocalizing in a tone and pitch identical to their deceased counterpart. Upon any individual coming within 5 meters of any SCP-2235 instance, said entity will generate a variety of humanoid noises, including but not limited to groaning, gasping, and/or sobbing. Written by MrBazzle
• SCP-3413 ("Irwin Shrugged") - SCP-3413-A is a human male of average build, approximately 50-60 years of age. He appears in clothes typical of an Amazonian safari, and speaks with an exaggerated Australian accent. - Written by CleverlyClearly

Tales

• To My Staff - If you're reading this, it means I'm dead, either by my own hand or some inexplicable luck of the draw. Shit sucks. You win some, you lose some, I guess. Written by thefriendlyvandal.
• White - Across the room was a lady. She was speaking to him, but the words didn't parse; they were all eaten up by peppermint and battery acid. Written by Varaxous.
• Running Out - Obviously, MTFs trained a lot. Everyone knew that, right? They had to. Weiss just hadn't realized, at first, that so much of it would involve working out. Written by Mr Carbon about MTF Theta-90.
• Phoenix - I have remotely disabled all cell phone signals coming in and out of this building. The only door to the room you are in cannot be opened by hand; only I can open it from the control room. There is nowhere for you to go. Written by toastedraptor
• Live Now, Tomorrow We Die - Kit had never been the same after the first amnestic. It was fair to say Gabriel has felt as lousy as shit doing it, too – inviting the cute, dark-haired man on another date and slipping it into his ‘purple rain’ cocktail with practised ease. Written by Zachary Maxwell about Kit!
• Public Static Void - If the robot had a mouth it would grin. It's nearly time to wake up the cargo. Written by MaliceAforethought.
• Zeitgeist - It's prime real estate. The only problem is that its current residents can't be legally exorcised. This is where the Chicago Spirit comes in: a particularly enterprising (and unsavory) real estate developer has hired them to evict the squatters. Written by A Random Day.
• Twenty Minutes - Twenty-odd years making you. Twenty-odd minutes deleting it all. The next chapter in Kit's misadventures by Zachary Maxwell

GOI Formats

• Project Proposal 2014-234: "Outdoor Object of Ordinance" - The Outdoor Object of Ordinance is a park bench. It is fully functional in the sense of it is able to be sat on comfortably by up to three people who do not know each other and up to five people who have known each other for a long period of time. Put forth by HiuMentah

Week of December 15th:

I need this like I need a ho ho hole in the head…

SCPs

• SCP-3925 ("Papers, please") - Paperwork can really pile up if you aren't on top of it. Glory to bureaucracy! Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
• SCP-3322 ("Sister Cities") - Ever wonder if you had a doppelganger? How about a doppelganger of your entire town? Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
• SCP-3234 ("Pure Grey Static") - SCP-3234 is an anomalous instance of a dissociative disorder that affects individuals with a highly negative sense of self, who desire to cease interactions with society. Written by Doctor Serkov.
• SCP-3593 ("The Betrayal of the ORIA") - SCP-3593-1 is an emaciated figure who has been crucified onto a diagonal wooden cross. This cross is placed directly behind the entryway to the cave, close enough to allow communication from the outside. Written by Tufto.
• SCP-3343 ("Beelzebub") - Some of the the most important things can come in small packages. Written by daveyoufool.
• SCP-3335 ("The Hole in My Head Where My Mind Used to Be") - Remember those drug presentations from school? More people should have listened to them. Don't do SCP, not even once! Written by TheBillith does not match any existing user name.
• SCP-3355 ("St. Nick") - In order to prevent awareness of the anomalous nature of SCP-3355, the Foundation is to maintain a non-profit front company called “St. Nick’s Workshop”, along with a website and television/radio ads promoting charitable giving during the holidays. Written by djkaktus.

Tales

• The Price of Beauty - A creative approach is taken to help lose weight. A creepypasta written by Zachary Maxwell.
• You Can't Win Them All - "Okay, let's start from the top. Tell us everything that happened, in order. Starting from the dispatch.". The fourth chapter in the Vend-a-Friend series. Written by DarkStuff.
• One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby Pt. 1 - He was about to turn back and close the door when his eyes fixed on the floor. A cardboard box, and inside – a baby. A new series by Zachary Maxwell.
• ...Like Clockwork - This is a story with no endings. There is no closure, nor resolution. It is only a story of evolution and expectations. The last part of the Like Clockwork series. Written by Decibelles
• Okay - A more serious and realistic look into mental health. Written by The Great Hippo.
• The Last Man - It’s day 50 of freeze-dried beef stroganoff. Doctor Beckett swallows the meat and rice with a grimace. Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
• Be Strange or Be Forgotten - The great dark woods outside of my window suddenly felt less like a wall between me and the rest of the world and more like a great suppressor of my senses. The fifth chapter in the Vend-a-Friend series. Written by DarkStuff.
• Life's a Show - Thought the series was over after that last one? Apparently not! Chapter Six of Vend-a-Friend, written by DarkStuff.
• One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby Pt. 2 - Was it the fire alarm? Had he left the TV on? Blinking sleep from his eyes, he scanned the room, and was reminded (instantly, and loudly) of the baby he had taken in. Written by Zachary Maxwell.
• Catharsis - Detective Jason Fritz took a final puff from his cigarette before tossing it into the river before him, watching as it vanished beneath the crashing tides. The start of a new series by toastedraptor.
• Shards & Static - A short tale supplement to SCP-3234. Written by Doctor Serkov
• One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby - The Penultimate Chapter - "Naptime!" He couldn't hide the happiness in his own voice. If she was asleep, he could sleep, too. Written by Zachary Maxwell.
• Decomm - On paper, it was the easiest job in the Foundation. You tell the poor sap the news he probably already knows, get him to sign a few pieces of paper, and you were on your merry way back to the bar. Written by buckyboy.
• Dark and Disquieting - Standing before them was a humanoid crow or raven, all jet black and covered in feathers. He was clad in a hooded cloak of crimson and gold and held a great bronze staff in his scaly, clawed talons. Another entry in the Dread & Circuses series. Written by DrChandra.
• One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby - The Finale - His nose instantly started bleeding, and he stared at the space in front of the baby. Whatever had been helping them both up until them had just turned on him. Written by Zachary Maxwell.
• A Sailor in a Blinding Sea - Over the Atlantic Ocean, a few hundred kilometers off the coast of North Carolina, a thunderstorm is crackling and brewing against a deep purple sky. A tale about SCP-3005, written by Cyantreuse
• A Riot Of Color And Joy - Giacomo worked with a team of a few dozen men, setting bricks and stones of vivid colors. The only light came from a wide circle of lanterns that surrounded them. Outside of the lanterns, the dark was so thick it swallowed everything. part of an unnamed series by Gaffney does not match any existing user name

Author's Pages

• The Most Vanilla Author Page - The author page of Noktigo!
• Kestin's Author Page - The author page of Kestin!

Week of December 22nd:

Come and dance with me…

SCPs

• SCP-3214 ("Star Quality") - You'd better hope you don't see these ads next time you go surfing the web. Written by mayoculpa.
• SCP-3617 ("The Parasites of Normal") - SCP-3617 are small, semi-insectoid creatures composed from various types of human body tissue. Written by MaliceAforethought.
• SCP-3882 ("A Literal Metal Band") - Maybe all those people who said "metal music has secret messages" were onto something… Written by Ihp.
• SCP-3137 ("Nitepad™") - Welcome, user. Welcome to Nitepad™. Relax, and enjoy the show. Written by Tufto.
• SCP-3310 ("The Old Man of the Lake") - SCP-3310 is never to be removed from the lake, and if its movement ever becomes restricted, it is to be released or returned to Crater Lake immediately. Written by stormbreath.
• SCP-3226 ("HEADBONES™!!") - Listen to your body, it usually knows what's best for you. Usually. Written by Lesh.

Tales

• Duets - "Of course this is dangerous," said Charla. "All MTFs face dangers, and we have been training for them. Besides, no-one was hurt either time Dr. Narváez went to Alagadda." Part of On Mount Golgotha and written by psul.
• Also This All Happened On The Same Day, So I Don't Know Why He Said It Like That. - An audio tale, this is a Christmas song parody by Doctor Cimmerian.
• The Three Bullets of Destiny - You're pretty good! A tale based off of an anomalous object. Written by Superblobby.
• I'll Be Home For Christmas... - My name's Dr. Isaiah Henderson, and I died earlier this year. Written by daveyoufool.
• Unicorn Crackfic Procedures - You don't need a blurb for this. Look at the title. SCP unicorn AU, enough said. Written by DrMagnus.
• Habil and Qabil - "Habil and Qabil" is a sitcom explicitly set at Site 17 and stars numerous characters based on actual SCPs within the Foundation's possession, primarily scips whose SCP designations are lower than 1000. Written by DrChandra.
• The Builder - Beneath it, a figure in dark robes knelt, seemingly praying. They were motionless, perhaps too engrossed in their silent chant. A Broken God tale co-written by SunnyClockwork and Perelka_L.
• Lepidoptraetheia - "Excuse me." Ruslav held up a hand, stopping a nearby labcoated doctor. "Is there a researcher Kir…" his voiced rumbled out again. "Is there a research lab with a butterfly expert here?" Written by DrMagnus.
• Grandchildren Frost - The peaks of the Urals stretched very high above them, but only one–a lone straggler stumbling somewhat near the back–looked up and them. Whether he saw anything, it was hard to tell, what with his lack of eyes. Written by LordStonefish.
• Waiting on the Good Times - I was a socially awkward 4th Grader hitting adolescence early, and he was a green eyed kid who had all the signs of growing up to be a sociopath. We made a wonderful pair. Written by DarkStuff.
• The Picture of an Unian - The Picture of an Unian is a visual depiction of one unknown specimen of the Unians, a species which were native to the currently-uninhabited planet of Un. Written by MrWrong.
• The Dedekind Infinite Demographic - The Librarian was a robed semi-human thing with an ink-stained hand for a head. Written by Taffeta.
• If You Have a Minute Why Don't We Go Talk About it Somewhere Only We Know - Dr. Jeffrey Jacobs put the phone down. He kicked the door open before moving into the hall with his pistol leveled. Written by Doctor Cimmerian.
• Sometimes I Dream... - Sometimes I dream. I slumber through the incessant grinding and scraping of machines to reach the beautiful world known as What Could Have Been. Written by tretter.
• Countdown - Russian agents encounter a mysterious countdown. What could it be? Based off of SCP-3034 and written by ModernMajorGeneral.
• Ana Hums - The woman poured over several notes over a mug of coffee, pausing to look up at Dr. Khayyam, then immediately looked down. Written by Jacob Conwell.
• The Ways in Which We Are Starved (or, The Special Kind of Solidarity between a Butch Wendigo and a Magic Twink) - The wendigo may not fear any man, but this one fears a woman. Written by kinchtheknifeblade.

GOI Formats

• 'Lego MiniThinkers' (8Y9D5/2X4H7/S89M2) - Items are sentient and capable of independent motion. Part of Marshall, Carter and Dark and written by Moklin.

Author's Pages

• If you were me - The author page of Moklin!

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Fandom Stuff

• Animator Lord Bung put together this fantastic SCP music video!

Fanart

Big thanks to Zhange for finding fanart this month!

• Zhange explodes onto the scene with an absolutely breathtaking Battle of Gods from SCP-1730!
• Amamidori cools things down with a somber moment from SCP-808 and the doctor who needs no introduction!
• Frequema chills to the bone with the death of Iceberg (warning: blood)!
• MinnaMew makes her debut with the grim visage of SCP-035!

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Thanks for tuning in again, folks! If you're unsatisfied with the blurb(s) provided for the article(s) you wrote, feel free to change it. Of course, you could just avoid that problem entirely by sending A Random Day a blurb for your article. We may or may not use it (if we can think of something more attention-getting, though we can try to stick with one you give us) but we'd really would just like them in order to make the process easier for making these. This is a community thing, and we want authors to give their blurbs to sell these articles much easier. It reduces the workload we have to do, and helps the news come out that much earlier!

« December 2017 | January 2018 | February 2018 »

Sarkicism

+ Critique

•AidenEldritch> i read it
7:36 PM <•AidenEldritch> i'm worried it'll veer close to The More You Know

djkaktus> My biggest issue is that's it's a little too on the nose right now. Straight up saying "this is sarkicism and its also a meme" feels a little too straightforward to me.
7:38 PM <djkaktus> Were it me
7:38 PM <djkaktus> I would say
7:39 PM <djkaktus> that the actual scp is some sort of "anomalously transmitted communal behaviour" which acts like a religion. Then start to tie in Sarkcism, without straight up saying "this is sarkicism"
7:39 PM <djkaktus> The less you can use the word "sarkicism" the better.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the procedures]

Description:

On 8 November 2026, Event Alpha occurred: the Yama Biotechnology production facility in Odisha, India, underwent a catastrophic nuclear accident⁴, coinciding with the abnormally rapid growth of a 6-kilometer tall tower made of various human body tissues at the epicentre of the event. Although a steam explosion and graphite fire occurred, and the initial explosion of the facility ranked as a Level 7 event on the INES, no radiation was detected more than 3 kilometers around the facility and no symptoms of nuclear fallout were detected in any nearby communities. It is theorized that the tower was responsible for containing the nuclear fallout and utilizing the radiation to fuel its growth.

In addition to the formation of the tower, the ground in a 3 kilometer radius around the facility (henceforth known as the kill zone) was transmuted into human skin. The soil was replaced with human epidermal tissue; attempts to dig into the ground showed that the layers underneath had been replaced with dermal and hypodermal tissue and all other supporting tissue necessary for a fully functioning human integumentary system. Much of the flora and fauna living in the environment were displaced; all plant life around the facility quickly died off and was replaced with hairs of varying sizes and thickness, resulting in the migration of all animal life from the area. Additionally, various human body parts appeared throughout the landscape, such as hands, arms, and mouths.

Initial reconnaissance attempts using drones failed due to heavy radio jamming apparently originating from the facility; D-Class subjects who attempted to cross the kill zone were rapidly subsumed into the kill zone's terrain in a process similar to that of SCP-1227. Satellite observation indicated that the kill zone was expanding at a rate of approximately 1.5 meters per day; thus, Tau-5 were dispatched to investigate and neutralize the anomaly. To facilitate investigation and neutralization, Tau-5 were uploaded into android shells derived from Project Falconry and equipped with prototype cauterization weaponry intended for exterminating SCP-610 outbreaks.

Exploration Video Log Transcript
Date: ██/██/████
Exploration Team: Mobile Task Force Tau-5 “Samsara”
Subject: SCP-XXXX
Team Lead: T-5 Irantu
Team Members: T-5 Munru, T-5 Onru, T-5 Nanku
POV: T-5 Onru

[BEGIN LOG]

The team stands at the edge of the Event Alpha radius, performing self-checks.

Irantu: Mission parameters are as follows: investigate Yama Biotechnology, identify source of anomaly, neutralize if the anomaly's growth cannot be restricted.

Onru, Munru, Nanku: Understood.

Irantu: Check status?

Munru: Green.

Onru: Ready.

Nanku: Green across the board.

Irantu: Right. Engage feet heating coils; let's proceed.

The team enters the kill zone; although the ground attempts to interface with their feet, their heating coils cauterize it and prevent their movement from being hindered.

Onru: Ground is soft. I don't like it.

Munru: It is human flesh.

Nanku: I wonder how it tastes?

Irantu: Thank goodness you can't eat it.

As Onru moves forward, a hand protruding from the ground approximately a meter away suddenly extends and grabs her foot, attracting her attention. She attempts to shake it off unsuccessfully.

Onru: Nasty thing.

As the team looks on, Onru engages the utility blade in her left arm and slices the hand off at the wrist. The rest of the arm begins to bleed heavily and rapidly retracts into the ground. Onru picks up the severed arm and motions for the team to continue moving while examining it.

Onru: I hope this hurts.

Onru drives her utility blade into the ground and resumes walking, thus creating a deep incision from which blood begins to ooze. The remainder of the journey through the kill zone is uneventful, though the team reports that human limbs and male genitalia are appearing with increasing size and frequency as they approach the facility. Additionally, Irantu and Onru observe the formation of slits in the ground, which rapidly develop into large blinking eyes that follow the team as they progress. The team stops outside the main entrance to the facility, which, apart from the central tower, is mostly untouched.

Irantu: Is there any other point of… entry into the structure?

Munru: There were. Hatches to access the sewer and power systems. We would have to cut into the… ground to find them.

Irantu: Ah. And you think there would be resistance.

Nanku deploys her own left utility blade and activates its heating coil.

Nanku: We can handle it.

Onru: Where should I cut?

With a nod from Irantu, Munru directs Onru to a spot directly above the closest hatch; she starts to cut a square around it, keeping the blade in the ground.

Nanku: Maybe we should split up? Two of us through the main entrance, two through the sewers?

Irantu: Maybe.

Onru: I think I've hit the -

At that moment, a large orifice opens up underneath Onru, and she falls in. The hole rapidly seals above her; her headlamps activate in response to the subsequent loss of light, revealing that she has fallen into a large mouth. The mouth is pink and humid; there is a full set of teeth above her, each tooth about as large as a man. Onru turns around to find that she has landed on the frenulum of the tongue.

Onru: Open up.

Behind her, the tongue begins ambulating, seemingly trying to push her upwards to the teeth.

Onru: Open. Up.

The tongue continues to ambulate. Onru retracts her utility blade partially and detaches the outermost segment, extending the blade on her right arm and repeating the process. She adjusts her grip on the segments so that she is holding them like pitons. As Onru attempts to stand, a bubbling, clear liquid starts filling the cavern and the tongue's movements become more forceful, forcing her out from under the frenulum. At the same time, the water filling the cavern begins to drain into another chamber, catching Onru and carrying her out of the cavern.

Onru's camera lens becomes obscured by bubbles for the next several seconds; when the water recedes and the feed becomes visible, she is lying on the ground of a sewer main with her pitons dug into the wall. She stands up and looks around; there is a wall behind her and a large sewage port above, suggesting that she fell through it. There are cracks in the walls, through which a pinkish organic matter can be seen pulsing.

Onru: Come in, Tau-5. Come in, Munru. Come in, Irantu. Come in, Nanku.

There is no response.

Onru: Open up!

Onru pulls her pitons from the wall and uses them to break it open, exposing more of the organic matter, which strongly resembles smooth muscle. She then engages both of her utility blades and drives them into the organic matter. Onru cuts several X-shaped incisions into the matter before inserting white phosphorus grenades into them. She dives away from the resulting explosion, which quickly begins eating into the walls.

As Onru gets to her feet, there is a short earthquake. She examines the newly-made hole in the wall; it is a tunnel approximately five meters long and one meter in diameter. On the other side, another sewer main can be seen, which quickly terminates in a hatch. Onru pokes at the matter around the tunnel with her pitons to no response, then stops and stares at the hole for several seconds before moving away from the tunnel and proceeding down the main corridor.

Onru: I know there's a way out.

She repeats this. The corridor begins to decrease in size until she is forced to stoop. She continues down the tunnel partway before driving both of her hands into the ceiling, breaking through and coming into contact with organic matter, and then extending her utility blades into the matter to gouge out headroom.

Onru: Give me space.

Onru climbs into the tunnel, but halfway through, the ends of the tunnel seal around her.

Onru: Let me out.

Pressure sensors on her shell indicate a shrinking of the tunnel.

Onru: Let. Me. Out!

The tunnel shrinks again.

Onru: Let! Me! Out! Now!

The tunnel shrinks again. The camera lens in Onru's left eye cracks slightly.

Onru: Let me out! Let me out! Let me out let me out let me out!

The tunnel continues shrinking while Onru repeats the phrase "Let me out." It is unclear why she does not use her utility blades to carve out space to crawl. As the pressure in the tunnel increases, the lenses in Onru's implants crack. The tunnel then collapses entirely and the video feed ends.

The video feed reactivates an indefinite time later

+ Open Exploration Log File 4

Exploration Video Log Transcript
Date: ██/██/████
Exploration Team: Mobile Task Force Tau-5 “Samsara”
Subject: SCP-XXXX
Team Lead: T-5 Irantu
Team Members: T-5 Munru, T-5 Onru, T-5 Nanku

[BEGIN LOG]

Nanku enters the atrium alone. The room is dark, with the exception of the central ring, which is illuminated by the floor lights. The central organic tower extends up through this ring and out of the central skylight. As Nanku approaches the tower, it quivers and then rapidly descends. Nanku prepares her napalm launcher, but the top of the tower descends to her eye level and then ceases to descend. The CEO of Yama Biotechnology, Omoye Odiase, is sitting on the top of the tower, gouging chunks of flesh from the top and eating them.

Odiase: Oh, hello. You're one of the machines, right?

Nanku: … I am a human being who is simply currently in a machine body. You are eating chunks of human flesh. Are you human?

Odiase: [raising her hands in a placating gesture] Alright, alright. Point taken. Humanity comes in many forms - I should have been the first to acknowledge you, I apologize. Why don't we start again? My name is Omoye Odiase. Might I have the pleasure of yours?

Nanku: My desig - name, my name is Nanku.

Odiase: It's a pleasure to meet you, Nanku. I would ask you what brings you here, but… [Odiase looks at the tower and bites into a strip of flesh.] I think that much is obvious. How can I help you?

Nanku: Where did this tower come from?

Odiase: I made it. You must have met the others. They looked inwards, but my own apotheosis came from the outside.

Odiase takes the strip of flesh she is holding and tears it in half. She then proceeds to eat half of the strip, furrowing her face in response and shaking her head rapidly.

Odiase: [makes a sound of disgust] Nanku, do you know what a dislocated knee feels like?

Nanku: Painful?

Odiase: It's like you're paralyzed on half of your body. If you so much as twitch your injured leg it feels like a bomb has gone off. Forget limping, forget walking, forget crawling. You can't do anything but lie there and cry.

Nanku: It sounds, ah… excruciating. When did you dislocate your knee?

Odiase: Never.

Nanku: Then how do you know what it feels like?

Odiase: Because Terrence Richards dislocated his knee on a skiing trip in the seventh grade.

Odiase holds up the other half of the strip.

Odiase: This used to be a part of Terrence Richards, one of the branch's junior accountants. Now it's a part of everyone. By eating it, I imbibed the memory of that skiing trip. I also imbibed the memory of the first time he fell in love with a girl in eighth grade, the taste of the slice of pizza they shared on their first date in the ninth grade, and how she smelled like lavender when they first kissed.

Odiase eats the strip and shakes her head rapidly.

Odiase: They broke up in the tenth grade. She screamed at him so loudly. He wanted to shrink into the floor. You see, Terrence is a part of me now. Everyone in Yama is a part of me now - and now they are all a part of each other. They are humanity - and by consuming them, by sharing their experiences and their memories and their being, I become human.

Odiase digs another chunk from the tower and starts eating it. Blood begins to drip from the gash she has made in the tower.

Odiase: I know what it's like to go skydiving in Brazil. I've seen the majesty of Angel Falls for the very first time. I've spent my adolescence in London and then been uprooted to Gambia. I watched my best friend lose both her arms to a grenade in Pakistan. I watched my father throw boiling water on my mother. I watched my cousins from India experience snow for the very first time in Canada.

Nanku: That's… very… nice… I think. Could I try some?

Odiase: Oh, absolutely! Here. Catch!

Odiase rips a strip of flesh from the tower and throws it to Nanku, who catches it with her free hand. Nanku examines the strip for several seconds before opening the hatch to her organic fuel cell and dropping it in.

Odiase: Is that how you eat? I'm not sure it works if you don't, well, chew.

Nanku: That is… disappointing to hear. Um, I need to ask you some more questions.

Odiase: Ask away! Would you care for some more flesh?

Nanku considers the question for several seconds before nodding. Odiase tears off more strips of flesh and tosses them to her.

Nanku: How did you do all this?

Odiase: Mmmm… I'd say it started five, six years ago? My father, he died of Alzheimer's.

Nanku: Oh. I'm happy for - sorry, I'm sorry for your loss.

Odiase: Don't be. It runs in the family. I was terrified of it, you know. Not the dying, but the rest. The stupidity. The incontinence. He needed a caretaker for two years before he died, just to keep him clean.

Nanku: Oh. Um… how did you do all this?

Odiase: [exhales emphatically] I'm getting to that.

Nanku: Oh, I already tried that. I much prefer being human.

Odiase takes several deep breaths.

Odiase: You know what? I like you. I really do. I think we could be good friends.

Nanku: Well, thank you! I like you too. I'm really sorry but I have to kill you now!

Odiase: Wait -

Nanku engages her napalm launcher and fires a round at Odiase, hitting her in the stomach and detonating.

[END LOG]

Sarkicism Book ExcerptsAddendum:

+ Excerpts from "Sarkicism: The Divine Potential"

Chapter 4: The Soul

The soul is perhaps the most important element of Sarkicism. It is the seat of consciousness, the root of our passions and emotions, and the basis of our drive to become better. The soul is what makes you human, and what contains your potential for divinity. Every person has their own soul, and is their own God. It is crucial that you understand your soul inside and out - if you do not know who you are now, then how could you even imagine what you could become? The conception of the soul is at the heart of Sarkic ethics…

…The soul is at once genderless and all genders, but the mind often feels compelled to determine its own gender. Gender, sex, and sexuality are fluid components of our being. Never let society restrict you to the masculine-feminine dichotomy; the lowly mushroom has thousands of so-called biological sexes. The author herself was formerly considered a male by society. Your gender is merely part of the identity your soul, and just as the entirety of the soul longs for freedom, so too do its parts…

…All human beings have the potential for divinity; we are all gods. Race, ethnicity, sexuality, and every other physical distinction you could make between one human and another have no bearing on that divinity. Let your mind be cleared of prejudice and bigotry, for to hate another is to hate God. Be generous to others and help those people around you. Open your mind to new ideas, cultures, and behaviors; understand the beauty of the divine experience from all perspectives…

Chapter 8: Preparing the Divine Body

The spark of divinity is within you, as it is within every single one of us. But it is still just a spark that must be fanned, and fed, and tendered to grow into the fire of apotheosis. A poor diet and lack of exercise makes you fat, lethargic, and irresolute. You must feed and train your body and mind. Remember, your mind and soul are what make you God - but your body is your Temple. It is your home, your castle,your throne, and your connection to the world. Exercise, a good diet, and a good mind are crucial to cleaning and renovating that house so that it can become a palace fit for a god.

In this chapter, you will learn about the importance of staying healthy and cultivating a mindset for continual self-improvement. In Chapter 8, we will cover nutrition, various types of diets, what separates a good diet from a fad diet, and how to determine the best diet for your needs. In Chapter 9, we will cover human physiology. various types of exercise routines, how different exercises affect different parts of your body, how to synergize your diet and exercise, how to stick with your exercise routines and fun ways to exercise and stay healthy. Chapter 10 is dedicated to keeping the mind sharp; we will learn about meditation, the importance of being well-read, the benefits of pursuing artistic hobbies, and ways to keep learning new things using tools like OpenCourseWare and even the public library…

Chapter 13: Bioreactors

A bioreactor is a machine that influences biological processes for some end goal. Bioreactors are incredibly useful tools for biotechnology and biomedical engineering; they allow us to produce various organic substances with relative ease and study biological processes under controlled conditions.We will be using them to study various types of biological and cellular phenomena, and in later chapters, produce substances like collagen and phospholipids and work our way up to stem cells, immortal cells, and entire organ tissues. Unfortunately, bioreactors can also be quite expensive to produce and maintain - but they don't have to be! In this chapter, we will learn how to produce laboratory and industrial-grade bioreactors using common off-the-shelf parts and household supplies.

Chapter 16: Psionics

… Every individual has some mild psionic capabilities - our minds are manifestations of the electromagnetic force and psionics is simply applying that force in various ways. With practice and training, you can strengthen your psionic abilities like you would any muscle. Unfortunately, most individuals do not have the knowledge to train their capabilities and strengthen them. But you are not most individuals. In this chapter, we will discuss psionics as an extension of the electromagnetic force and how it applies to different physical processes, and build a device to amplify our own psionic capabilities…

…Apply the strips of neurons to the underside of the orichalcum lining, with the agar-epoxy side facing the lining. Each strip should be inbetween two pithing needles. Solder jumper wires between the corresponding pairs of strips at their north and south terminals: the outmost strips, at the left and right ears should be connected at the north terminals and south terminals; the two inmost strips, at the center of the helmet and next to each other, should be connected at the north terminals and south terminals; and so on. Consider wrapping excess wire around the base of the needles…

Chapter 20: Protein Manipulation

The Sonic hedgehog protein - yes, it's actually called that. Even science has a sense of humor! - is a protein that plays a crucial rule in vertebrates, and will play a crucial role in your apotheosis. In developing vertebrates, SHH controls organogenesis: this means that it directs how the cells eventually grow and differentiate into different organs, such as digit formation and the organization of your nervous system and spinal cord. Even in adults, SHH plays a key role in controlling the division of stem cells, which you will remember from Chapter 19.

Chapter 20 is all about manipulating proteins such as SHH to your will. Using the psionic amplification headset we constructed in Chapter 16, we will influence the secretion of this and other proteins so that we can consciously control when and where it is secreted. By the end of this chapter, we will be able to control what cells produce SHH and when. In Chapters 21, 22, and 23, we will be learning about the other types of organic molecules that influence human organ development and how to manipulate them. The goal by the end of Part 4 is for us to be able to manipulate the development of a crude nervous system using the stem cells that we produced in Chapter 19.

Chapter 28: Self-Actualization

Congratulations. You have learned how to become god.

Take a moment to reflect back on what you have done, and reflect on this book. How did you read about it? Was it via audiobook? Podcast? Book? YouTube? Humans created those technologies, even when we weren't gods. We used our creativity, ingenuity, drive, and tenacity to provide others with the means of disseminating and sharing knowledge for self-improvement. The fact that you are reading this is a testament to the willpower, creativity, tenacity, and potential of the human mind. As you stand on the threshold of a new mode of existence, remember that, and never let it go. These qualities are what made you human, and they are what made you divine.

Look within yourself and cease to see yourself as the human you are. Imagine yourself as the divinity you wish to be. Your body will reflect the power, creativity, passion, and love that makes you a human being. Shape your atoms, your cells, your tissues, your organs, and your body to reflect who you truly are.

Now you are truly divine.

Sarkicism Ideas

ARD> djkaktus: it's an idea. it's not yet been written up but here's how it goes
1:48 PM <djkaktus> ok I will judge
1:48 PM <vezaz> djkaktus okay i cracked the heck up
1:48 PM <ARD> sarkicism isn't a religion dedicated to ion or yaldabaoth or any of those stupid gods
1:48 PM <ARD> sarkicism is a meme that instructs human beings on self-improvement : apotheosis through improvement of the human form
1:49 PM <ARD> the ultimate goal isn't to summon a world eater
1:49 PM <ARD> it's to help every human being achieve their true inner potential through biopunk
1:49 PM <Tuomey> sarkicism is a word I can't help but read as "sarcasm"
1:49 PM <ARD> Stem cell research, bioreactors, gene therapy, nanobots
1:49 PM <ARD> eugenics
1:50 PM <ARD> the idea is an SCP - the anomaly is the meme, sarkicism itself
1:50 PM <•EldritchCadence> excuse you those are my bros you are dissing
1:50 PM <ARD> every human being is a temple
1:51 PM <ARD> they worship themselves and seek to help other individuals perfect themselves
1:51 PM <ARD> stage 1) exercise and eating right
1:51 PM <djkaktus> ok so wait
1:51 PM <djkaktus> this is pretty cool
1:51 PM <djkaktus> but
1:51 PM <djkaktus> what about their fixation on 610 et all.
1:51 PM <djkaktus> Because they are definitely all about that jazz.
1:51 PM <ARD> 610 is a failure
1:51 PM <Silber> djkaktus: he's getting to the rest of the steps
1:52 PM <ARD> 610 is what happened when they tried to achieve apotheosis through black magic and witchcraft
1:52 PM <ARD> No no no no no
1:52 PM <ARD> Apotheosis through science. self-improvement. mastery of the universe through the body and the mind
1:52 PM <ARD> Human beings used their minds to figure out science and make it wokr
1:52 PM <ARD> *work
1:52 PM <ARD> Stage 1) exercise and eating right
1:53 PM <ARD> Stage 2) bio modifications. You are God and your body is your temple. How do you want to make it better
1:53 PM → AbsentmindedNihilist joined (soggod.regnuh|naibsel#soggod.regnuh|naibsel)
1:53 PM <ARD> Stage 3) how do you help other people realize their potential to become God
1:53 PM <ARD> Stage 4) how do you help the people who don't want to be helped
1:54 PM <ARD> The idea right now is in one of these places, they reached Stage 4. Every individual achieved apotheosis and realized their true self-images - but these are horrible and grotesque to ordinary humans
1:54 PM <ARD> A massive web of brain tissue, spread out and able to hear the thoughts of every living thing around it
1:54 PM <ARD> A pillar coiled around a nuclear reactor, feeding off of it and subsisting on the energy of the universe directly
1:55 PM <ARD> Millions of microscopic cells, all at once a single brain and an individual brain that can communicate with each other and yet be their own self-realized individual - thinking dust
1:55 PM <ARD> They have reached their own apotheosis and nirvana
1:55 PM <ARD> And they are horrible abominations of the human form and so they must be destroyed
1:56 PM <ARD> This is where the Foundation comes in. Enter an MTF of all-robots
1:56 PM <ARD> which is sent in to sterilize the area
1:56 PM <djkaktus> oh boy.
1:57 PM <ARD> The reason they have to use robots is Stage 3 and 4. Humans are susceptible to the meme because they want to improve - their brains are hardwired to learn and grow and the meme is literally just an amplification of this
1:57 PM <ARD> But computers aren't
1:57 PM <ARD> Thoughts
1:59 PM <djkaktus> I think that's strong, and I want just as much as anyone to see metaphysician's ideas laid low and built up better than he did
1:59 PM <ARD> I sense a but
1:59 PM <djkaktus> but I think a lot of the current popular aspects of sarkicism come from its emphasis on body horror
2:00 PM <djkaktus> which cannot just be replaced with like, existentialist drama
2:00 PM <ARD> Mhm.
2:00 PM <djkaktus> the body horror has to remain
2:00 PM <ARD> I don't want to remove the body horror
2:00 PM <ARD> That's where the new forms come in
2:00 PM <ARD> These are horrible - to regular people. But to the people who achieved those forms, all is right with the world

Footnotes

1. both continuous and pulsed

2. For comparison, modern scientific laboratories have only been able to sustain 1-Petawatt outputs for a few picoseconds

3. with a rating above 0

4. It is still unclear why Yama built a nuclear facility in their biotechnology labs or how it was constructed in secret