Hey yeah this is where I'm going to stick the other stuff so it doesn't become too cluttered.
IDEAS
Do an in depth thing of the event.
Critique
- Video maybe should have a little less hiding on PoI-K's part, but otherwise they "loved it"!
1:34 PM <CaptainKirby> Ok, I'm going to start with the first question that entered my mind when I got to the description - "Why is this an SCP and not simply a connected series of Extranormal Events?" Like… if there's president for just various events with no central object or person remaining similar between each one that I don't know about, then this is a moot point. But it felt like the wrong kind of documentation.
1:34 PM <DoingStuff> Huh… alright?
1:35 PM <CaptainKirby> And if this is really a new thing, I think you can get around this by having the object itself be flyers or something that appear at the beginning of the event.
1:35 PM <CaptainKirby> I mean, this is nitpicky
1:35 PM <CaptainKirby> But it was the very first thing I thought
1:36 PM <DoingStuff> Alright, fair. I thought they would be an SCP because they were consistent, had the same structure, the same effects
1:36 PM <DoingStuff> It was clearly the same anomaly that required the same kind of containment every time
1:36 PM <DoingStuff> They have to have /some/ place to put "how to deal with this", and an SCP literally means "needs Special Containment Procedures"
1:36 PM <DoingStuff> All of these need the same Special Containment Procedures
1:36 PM <DoingStuff> Thus they are one SCP
1:37 PM <CaptainKirby> Alright, then that's fine
1:37 PM <CaptainKirby> Explanation checks out (no need to include in the doc, just wanted to make sure it was justifiable)
1:37 PM <DoingStuff> 👍
1:39 PM <CaptainKirby> Ok, now I'll move on to like… I guess my main thing. What is this story /really/ about? Because like… I feel that the story up until the interview with camellia feels somewhat disjoint from her actual story. Mostly because the anomaly itself is not centered around her, but the story most definitely is.
1:40 PM <CaptainKirby> And it's fine if she's your lens for all of this, but the reason why it felt to be more abuot her at the end than the anomaly itself was the interview's focus on stage fright. Because then it makes me think the entire video log (which… I'll get to that) is supposed to be a metaphor for stage fright
1:40 PM <CaptainKirby> But it feels off, because she's the only one who seems to fall into that category.
1:41 PM <DoingStuff> This story is about an anomaly that, while relatively uncontainable, appears to be goofy at first. Some things happen, it's all framed as a musical, we're all good. Suddenly, there's a glitch in the system
1:41 PM <DoingStuff> The anomaly doesn't cope well, and through the glitch we see a darker side to the anomaly … huh, kind of like SCP-2728
1:41 PM <DoingStuff> Hadn't made that connection before
1:42 PM <DoingStuff> The darker side of the anomaly is the cause of the anomaly — it was already previously stated that during intermission some people disappear and reappear, but that gets no more attention
1:42 PM <DoingStuff> She disappears multiple times, and the video finally tells us where they disappear to
1:42 PM <DoingStuff> The backstage
1:43 PM <DoingStuff> The last interview is supposed to suggest that she has been aware of the backstage… or the "audience"… her whole life
1:43 PM <CaptainKirby> ahhhh. Ok. So you should /explicitly state/ that the video was taken while Camelia had supposedly disappeared
1:43 PM <CaptainKirby> Because that connection was not made for me
1:44 PM <DoingStuff> Alright, I'll try and do that. The idea was that the anomaly didn't end because she wasn't in bows
1:44 PM <CaptainKirby> Like, I like that angle, but the reason it didn't come through for me is because it felt like this turned into a character study of Camellia
1:44 PM <DoingStuff> The anomaly ends after all the cast members bow, and she didn't bow
1:44 PM <DoingStuff> So the last backstage thing, with the video
1:44 PM <DoingStuff> Was the anomaly trying to FUCKING GET HER TO BOW
1:44 PM <DoingStuff> And she does so
1:45 PM <DoingStuff> And then "The Play Has Ended!"
1:45 PM <DoingStuff> She is supposed to have character, but this is not meant to be a character study of her
1:45 PM <CaptainKirby> Like, I see that now. It simply felt unclear. Again, this felt like it became a character piece part way through, because the specificity of Camelia's back story lent me to believe that this /only happened to her/ (with regard to the video log)
1:45 PM <DoingStuff> If it comes across that way, then I have failed
1:46 PM <CaptainKirby> Yeah, it comes across that way. It feels like I watched an arc of an individual character, not a representation of what has happened to others.
1:47 PM <DoingStuff> I did mark exactly when the video was taken, which I think connected to the timeline from before when she disappeared for the last time
1:47 PM <DoingStuff> But I will explicitly state that
1:47 PM <CaptainKirby> Yeah… I saw it was dated but I didn't put two and two together
1:48 PM <CaptainKirby> Also, with regards to why I felt this had become a character piece, I
1:48 PM <CaptainKirby> 'll point out the main "offenders"
1:49 PM <CaptainKirby> 1. Camellia's back story is nicely flushed out, but it also lends the video to be such a direct metaphor for stage fright that it no longer felt like a "this happens to the others too".
1:50 PM <DoingStuff> Another thing I need to do:
1:50 PM <DoingStuff> Have her experience on stage be clearly… other worldly
1:51 PM <DoingStuff> So it is clearly more than stage fright
1:51 PM <DoingStuff> Something just fucked with her
1:51 PM <CaptainKirby> 2. The actual video log itself also felt very… well it felt incoherent. Which is fine, but I felt it lacked a certain internal logic, or any kind of implication that Camellia was not alone back there, and that there were in fact other actors trying to escape
1:51 PM <DoingStuff> Who says the other actors were trying to escape? She was clearly not under the influence they were :P
1:51 PM <CaptainKirby> Like it felt like a long trippy metaphor (which it did a good job of, but its not what you wanted)
1:51 PM <CaptainKirby> Yeah… but that's why I thought she was special
1:52 PM <CaptainKirby> Like again, you need to show this isn't /just her/
1:52 PM <DoingStuff> She is special, in that she is unaffected mentally
1:52 PM <CaptainKirby> But then that's what makes this feel like a character piece.
1:52 PM <DoingStuff> But it is her specialness that reveals more about the anomaly
1:52 PM <CaptainKirby> You said this happens to others too right?
1:52 PM <DoingStuff> They disappear and go backstage like she does, yes
1:52 PM <CaptainKirby> With the disappearing and such?
1:52 PM <CaptainKirby> Then show them.
1:52 PM <CaptainKirby> I thought she was the only actor back there
1:53 PM <DoingStuff> She probably was at the time, but… but I can clearly show other actors and stuff
1:53 PM <CaptainKirby> Yeah. At this point you might have to twist your current "author's eyes" plot line to make things clearer to the audience.
1:53 PM <DoingStuff> Righty ho
1:54 PM <CaptainKirby> Alsooooo why the hell did this appear on her phone? Like, that very confuses me.
1:54 PM <CaptainKirby> Because she obviously wasn't filming it
1:54 PM <DoingStuff> We made a point of saying she wasn't :P
1:54 PM <CaptainKirby> And I get she's special… but what makes the phone special? Like that just felt sooo off for me.
1:55 PM <CaptainKirby> Because the entire time I was asking "neat, but why did this ever get recorded?"
1:55 PM <DoingStuff> The reason there was going to be a video on her phone was lost to time — we wanted to have her be a vlogger and thus be… recording things. But we thought that too forced, and I guess we never came up with an explanation again
1:56 PM <DoingStuff> And promptly forgot we needed one
1:59 PM <CaptainKirby> So, my suggestion, which I know you probably won't like but I think it'll help a bunch with the distinction between this as a character piece, and not, is to have a separate D-Class go in a record it with a bodycam. You already have them enter the anomaly in the procedures, this seems like a reasonable way to go with it. This solves the problem of "why do we have footage of back stage" (it won't be the stuff from
1:59 PM <CaptainKirby> Camellia's POV with the switching to the audience and cuts and everything, but it could still follow parts of her journey through a 3rd person perspective), and it shows that "other people go back here too".
2:00 PM <CaptainKirby> Hell, you could even have a part where the D-Class drags Camellia kicking and screaming back to the stage
2:00 PM <DoingStuff> I could make multiple people disappear at the same time she does, along with one of their D-Class
2:01 PM <CaptainKirby> That's what I was thinking
2:01 PM <CaptainKirby> Yeah
2:02 PM <DoingStuff> And have the video come from the body camera, add stuff that suggests that others are in there with her (but are under the effects), and really… part of what makes the video so creepy for me is the changing perspectives
2:03 PM <DoingStuff> The incoherency and how they can jack into their heads
2:03 PM <CaptainKirby> Jack into their heads?
2:03 PM <DoingStuff> They clearly record from PoI-K's eyes
2:03 PM <CaptainKirby> (I thought the perspective jumps were just the phone teleporting or some shit)
2:03 PM <CaptainKirby> Or like
2:03 PM <DoingStuff> Which connects with how she points at Dorer's eyes in the interview
2:03 PM <CaptainKirby> I guess that part whas not creepy to me
2:04 PM <DoingStuff> Huh
2:04 PM <DoingStuff> Alright, I found it very creepy and so did Tanhony
2:04 PM <DoingStuff> I mean, I wouldn't have written it if I didn't think it was creepy
2:04 PM <CaptainKirby> Like, the spot light imagery, the constant curtains, the unexplained owl man, the ignorant audience. Those were what stood out to me
2:05 PM <DoingStuff> And I also wanted to try for subtler stuff too, but I get that
2:05 PM <CaptainKirby> Like, if you really want to keep the incoherence, ok. I'm just saying that part didn't do much for me
2:05 PM <DoingStuff> Gotcha
2:06 PM <CaptainKirby> Because again… the entire time I was like "this is a metaphor for stage fright". Like that was my main thought. So the incoherence felt less weird addition and more like a tool used to better tell that story
2:06 PM <DoingStuff> Well, that kens to my roots of writing, URA-1902 is my other real creepy thing I've written and incoherence is quite a big part of that too
2:06 PM <DoingStuff> It's the thing falling apart
2:06 PM <DoingStuff> It might have made sense before, but the anomaly is breaking and twisting
2:06 PM <CaptainKirby> URA-1902 works because you commit to that really really hard
2:06 PM <DoingStuff> More than it was ever before
2:06 PM <DoingStuff> Trruuuee
2:06 PM <CaptainKirby> You don't commit to the incoherence enough here for it to help me.
2:07 PM <DoingStuff> That was the entire article, actually
2:07 PM <CaptainKirby> Honestly, I think what makes this better is seeing /exactly/ what the people backstage are seeing. And then make that fucking creepy
2:08 PM <CaptainKirby> (which I think it is, but you can probably sell it harder)
2:08 PM <DoingStuff> That would be quite the change in writing, so I'll talk to Vara about it
2:08 PM <CaptainKirby> I understand
2:09 PM <CaptainKirby> Also, just so you know, I feel that the level of detail in the event logs are not super necessary or at least the quantity
2:10 PM <CaptainKirby> Because that are /just/ examples. And like… the containment breach one felt kinda like too much set up for the "why do we even try" line. Now, maybe other people like the line better, in which case I guess you can keep it, but I think you can trim it
2:10 PM <CaptainKirby> Either trim that or the D class entry
2:11 PM <DoingStuff> For the video on her phone, as a temporary solution (if we really want to keep it on her phone and not change its source), I wrote this line: "The following video, named 'Don't Forget What You've Wrought', was recovered from PoI-K's phone."
2:11 PM <DoingStuff> Thinking maybe saying just "What You've Wrought"
2:11 PM <DoingStuff> But making it clear this was a message from them to her
2:12 PM <CaptainKirby> Ehhhhhhhhhh. It feels a little inelegant. I think that using the D-Class is nice, because you've set that up all the way back in containment procedures.
2:12 PM <CaptainKirby> Like… I mean it works but I'm not a huge fan.
2:14 PM <DoingStuff> "The following video, named '⊙ ⊙'"
2:14 PM <CaptainKirby> Also, why does the flyer have the line "NO ONE NEEDS HELP MORE THAN YOU DO"? If its directed at camellia then you might want to consider cutting it, because I thought it was directed at her and again added to the "character pieceness" of it
2:15 PM <DoingStuff> Yeah, that ending felt half assed when I wrote it (specifically just what it said) but Tan liked it so it wasn't changed
2:15 PM <DoingStuff> But I am veeeerry open to changing that line
2:15 PM <CaptainKirby> Did Tan think this was a character piece?
2:15 PM <DoingStuff> No
2:15 PM <DoingStuff> He thought it was just fuckin' creepy and said he "loved it"
2:16 PM <CaptainKirby> Mhmm… interesting. Like its creepy, I think the "backstage" idea is a great and creepy idea. But like, too much distraction from the characters
2:17 PM <DoingStuff> Hmm
2:20 PM <CaptainKirby> Again, I think that giong with the D-Class recording will do you a lot of favors with this. It will allow you to show how brainwashed others are, it'll give you a nice, built in explanation for the video, it'll make it feel like less of a character piece, like… I think just seeing glimpses of the chase, or glimpses or the owl man, until the climax where the D-Class drags her back to the stage to force the bow
2:20 PM <CaptainKirby> would be fucking creepy, and hell you could even scrap the interview, because that'd be all the climax you need.
2:20 PM <DoingStuff> I'll ask Vara about that, it definitely carries potential
2:22 PM <DoingStuff> 2:22 PM <NineVolt> But yeah the discovered video was fantastic
2:22 PM <DoingStuff> Yeah I think that unless others agree with you the video is stayin', sorry bud :(
2:22 PM <DoingStuff> Tan loved it, Nines called it fantastic, and I am biased towards it
2:22 PM <CaptainKirby> Ooh, another thing that I noticed - I felt like the K-18 after math could've been shorter. I don't think you need 800 words to convey the idea that they're trying to bring back the missing actor. Like, I think you could almost skip the entire second day
2:24 PM <DoingStuff> Hmm, true
2:24 PM <CaptainKirby> I mean… like the contents of the video are great. I do like it. But the explanation for its existence is non-existent. I guess the real question is whether or not the piece feels like a character study. Because if it still does then I'd advocate for changing it, because it also contributes to that problem.
2:24 PM <DoingStuff> Once again, I asked around because I was anxious that it might be too long and Tan said he liked it all the way through and the first thing Nines commented was that the timeline was great
2:24 PM <CaptainKirby> On its own, the video is fine
2:25 PM <CaptainKirby> …. Hmmmm….
2:26 PM <DoingStuff> I really want to appease you, because the point is to find the people who don
2:26 PM <CaptainKirby> Because here's the thing… I would suggest maybe showing it to wery. If they think it's fine, then I'm def wrong.
2:26 PM <DoingStuff> 't like your draft and figure out how to win them over
2:26 PM <CaptainKirby> No, I understand, htere's a chance I'm in the minority
2:26 PM <DoingStuff> But I don't want to do that at the cost of making my previous likers not like it
2:26 PM <DoingStuff> Yea
2:26 PM <CaptainKirby> Like I totally ge tthat
2:27 PM <DoingStuff> Tan and Nines' biggest complaints were actually the list, which means that's my priority number one to fix
2:27 PM <DoingStuff> And you're right
2:27 PM <DoingStuff> I need to get Wery in on this
2:27 PM <DoingStuff> Also, I changed the video title to "⊙ ⊙", like a pair of eyes
2:28 PM <DoingStuff> Thought it might be a much subtler message from the anomaly
2:28 PM <DoingStuff> The owls I suppose
2:28 PM <CaptainKirby> I think if you're giong to name the video, that's probably the best way to do it
2:28 PM <DoingStuff> 👍
2:30 PM <CaptainKirby> But like… ok so the reason why I'm being rough on things like length and these explanations is because while it is part of your writing style, I think length in particular is one of the reasons your work might turn some people off. Because when you get through your stuff, its great. But damn if there's not a lot to get through. And here, I guess I didn't feel the hook until the interview.
2:30 PM <CaptainKirby> Because this anomaly is great, but I bet you can get the same effect in half the words
2:31 PM <CaptainKirby> (Again, I know that's not your style, and keeping some of the length is fine, but I think you can get more concise)
2:31 PM <DoingStuff> Getting more concise I can do
2:31 PM <DoingStuff> Half the words sounds unreal
2:33 PM <CaptainKirby> I mean, in my head I would condense the chase to be like 400 words, cut at one of the examples, trim from the outline of the event (because a lot is just what goes on in a play, which is covered by the examples later on), which yeah…. isn't half but its a lot less is my point. And again, I'm not saying you should do all of that, because you do you, but that's like how my writing style would run this
2:34 PM <CaptainKirby> Because like… I tend to be pretty careful about how long my skips are. I'm no wery, but if I'm cracking 3k there better be a good reason.
2:36 PM <DoingStuff> I could try and condense the timeline, I will try to do so
2:36 PM <CaptainKirby> But yeah. I highly suggest showing this to wery, or pepper (he helped me a ton with trimming down Virtually Reality, hell he pointed out I could cut the entire first experiment log to get to the hook quicker)
2:36 PM <DoingStuff> I can cut two of the examples
2:36 PM <DoingStuff> But I feel I need the examples because… because that is really important to the anomaly itself
2:36 PM <DoingStuff> It would feel empty without any examples of the events
2:36 PM <CaptainKirby> You should keep them in general
2:37 PM <CaptainKirby> But like… that D- class one is a lot for a dick joke
2:37 PM <DoingStuff> It's not supposed to be just a dick joke :/
2:37 PM <DoingStuff> It's supposed to be showing how the anomaly interacts with outside influence
2:39 PM <DoingStuff> NineVolt said she liked the whole thing but is indeed agreeing with you on length now that I bring it up, so strides will be made
2:39 PM <CaptainKirby> Yeaaaah… still felt a lot like it was just how the play was supposed to go. Especially because of the fact that people who come inside are supposed to fairly quickly (6 hours is about a fourth of an act, so that's the most time it could take) just get absorbed into the play
2:39 PM <CaptainKirby> Yeh
2:40 PM <CaptainKirby> Alright, well I look forward to seeing this thing in either another iteration or on the mainlist
2:40 PM <CaptainKirby> Because I think you got something good, I'm just curious how it'll play out
2:40 PM <DoingStuff> You do? This isn't upvote worthy as is, is it?
2:42 PM <CaptainKirby> I mean… I would probably no vote because of the fact that I felt the build didn't quite justify the climax, because I was reading this halfway through as a character piece. Buuuuut, I think that could easily be changed by shortening it up, making those changes about other people back stage we talked about, and obviously making the end interview less about stage fright and more about her being affected by the
2:42 PM <CaptainKirby> anomaly.
2:43 PM <DoingStuff> Gotcha
2:43 PM <DoingStuff> Well, calling the PMs here and copying and pasting it all into a sandbox
2:43 PM <CaptainKirby> 👍
1:48 PM <NineVolt> "and certain objects would be converted into realistic replicas of themselves." considering the topic of this paragraph and its placement in the sentence you could probably cut this (or move it elsewhere). Right now it feels jarring to read
1:48 PM <NineVolt> "(Caguas, Puerto Rico) ." unecessary space before the period
1:48 PM <DoingStuff> Also, I might suggest you reload the page a couple times as I fix things that Kirby is saying
1:53 PM <NineVolt> "to question D-590300 origins" D-590300's
1:55 PM <NineVolt> "forced to follow the crowd prior to the ending of Act-II. [ADD STUFF] PoI-K " leftover placeholder
1:55 PM <DoingStuff> woooah whoops
1:56 PM <DoingStuff> Surprised that has gone unnoticed
1:57 PM <NineVolt> " her southward descent towards Guayama." 'descent'as it's used here doesn't sound clinical to me
1:57 PM <DoingStuff> trek?
1:57 PM <DoingStuff> journey?
1:59 PM <NineVolt> I would say movement but that'd be repetitive so
2:00 PM <DoingStuff> Hmm
2:01 PM <NineVolt> Also, how does the Foundation know this much about what PoI-K was doing? Were they constantly monitoring the event or is this pieced together from what people have said about it?
2:01 PM <DoingStuff> With this big a scale thing, I was imagining helicopters with cameras
2:02 PM <DoingStuff> The veil has been thrown out the window at this point, with a moving anomaly affecting everybody. Normalcy can be fully restored once this shit is over, but at the moment they just need to monitor and make sure to try and contain it
2:03 PM <NineVolt> Mmm
2:03 PM <NineVolt> I would add that detail in but IDK if other people would be confused by that
2:04 PM <DoingStuff> Aight
2:04 PM <DoingStuff> I'll take it into account
2:12 PM <NineVolt> "All things printed in small font were unable to be made out," 'All text printed in small font was illegible' may sound more clinical
2:12 PM <DoingStuff> Aight
2:15 PM <NineVolt> Finished reading. The parts immediately after the description got a bit dry, though the timeline on was great
2:16 PM <DoingStuff> So, the list of SCP-K events?
2:16 PM <DoingStuff> Oh, wait, all of it?
2:16 PM <NineVolt> Just the list of -K events
2:16 PM <DoingStuff> Oh thank god
2:16 PM <DoingStuff> I panicked for a second
2:16 PM <DoingStuff> "everything but the timeline is dry"
2:17 PM <NineVolt> Oh yeah that's not what I meant at all
2:17 PM <DoingStuff> Okay goody then
2:17 PM <DoingStuff> So the timeline was great, which is good
2:18 PM <DoingStuff> The rest of it though?
2:18 PM <NineVolt> Considering that these owl things have sick views of entertainment, based on what happens to POI-K when she enters their world, I feel like you could afford to get more surreal with them
2:18 PM <DoingStuff> And you said things /after/ the description were dry, so I imagine the description and containment procedures were good?
2:18 PM <DoingStuff> The owl characters are very much Vara's thing, so changing their design is going to mean taking it up with 'im
2:19 PM <DoingStuff> But I agree
2:19 PM <DoingStuff> We could make them, just them, be a lot more descriptively… wwweeeird.
2:19 PM <NineVolt> Nah I'm not talking about changing their design, just the list of musicals that happens
2:19 PM <DoingStuff> Ooh
2:19 PM <DoingStuff> Ah okay gotcha
2:19 PM <NineVolt> Though I do feel like some weird body horror with owl-people could go down
2:19 PM <DoingStuff> Heheh
2:20 PM <NineVolt> But yeah, a bit of surreal flair to each musical (increasing as you get near the end of the list) could help a ton
2:20 PM <DoingStuff> Gotcha
2:22 PM <NineVolt> But yeah the discovered video was fantastic
2:23 PM <DoingStuff> :D
2:23 PM <DoingStuff> CaptainKirby didn't like it all that much, but Tan loved it and you say it is fantastic (and obviously I like it), so I think it is staying
2:23 PM <DoingStuff> Thank you for rebuilding my confidence in that
2:23 PM <DoingStuff> Were the interviews any good?
2:25 PM <NineVolt> I think so
2:25 PM <DoingStuff> Goody, and the story, while probably a little odd and incoherent, was intriguing and kept you reading?
2:26 PM <NineVolt> Yup, though it did feel slow during the list
2:26 PM <DoingStuff> The list slowed it down, gotcha. Tan said the same thing
2:26 PM <DoingStuff> We gotta make the list better
2:26 PM <DoingStuff> Priority #1: better list
2:29 PM <DoingStuff> It was sufficiently creepy? The conclusion / implication that they were coming back was good? All that jazz?
2:29 PM <DoingStuff> If yes then I think that'll be the end of this critique
2:29 PM <NineVolt> I'd say so
2:29 PM <DoingStuff> Awesome!
2:30 PM <DoingStuff> That is 2:3 positive to negative reviews
2:30 PM <DoingStuff> Which would equal… a +1
2:32 PM <DoingStuff> Do you think that this thing could afford to be shorter?
2:33 PM <DoingStuff> Forgetting about the list of SCP-K events for right now
2:33 PM <NineVolt> I'd say so, so long as you don't touch the interviews and video log
2:34 PM <NineVolt> Getting to those parts quickly would be the priority imo
2:34 PM <DoingStuff> Right right
2:34 PM <DoingStuff> 2:33 PM <CaptainKirby> I mean, in my head I would condense the chase to be like 400 words, cut at one of the examples, trim from the outline of the event (because a lot is just what goes on in a play, which is covered by the examples later on), which yeah…. isn't half but its a lot less is my point. And again, I'm not saying you should do all of that, because you do you, but that's like how my writing style would run this
2:34 PM <DoingStuff> So this holds true ^
2:35 PM <DoingStuff> At the moment the chase/timeline is 800 words, for reference to that
2:35 PM <DoingStuff> We could probably do with three SCP-K event examples instead of 5
2:39 PM <NineVolt> Yeah that would probably be a good idea
2:39 PM <DoingStuff> Goody
[2018-02-23 17:37:55] <weryllium> ok finished
[2018-02-23 17:38:18] <Varaxen> Neat
[2018-02-23 17:38:40] <Varaxen> Whadya think?
[2018-02-23 17:40:02] <weryllium> it's ok but i'm a little confused
[2018-02-23 17:40:20] <Varaxen> How do?
[2018-02-23 17:40:22] <Varaxen> So*
[2018-02-23 17:40:40] <Varaxen> With the interview, the time line, or the -K events?
[2018-02-23 17:40:40] <weryllium> Why is Camila the only one to see through the 'curtain'
[2018-02-23 17:41:54] <Varaxen> She’s just ‘special’ in that sense
[2018-02-23 17:42:03] <Varaxen> There isn’t really a reason why her
[2018-02-23 17:42:19] <Varaxen> Darkie and I have talked, and it’s really just random
[2018-02-23 17:42:22] <weryllium> Fair enough, it just gave me the sense that I had missed something
[2018-02-23 17:42:25] <Varaxen> Rare, but random
[2018-02-23 17:42:41] <weryllium> I think you did a good job showing just how horrific something innocent-sounding like this could potentially be
[2018-02-23 17:42:54] <Varaxen> Awesome :)
[2018-02-23 17:43:03] <weryllium> with the fact that the area of effect expands along with her
[2018-02-23 17:43:09] <weryllium> so she can't escape and is only making it worse
[2018-02-23 17:45:00] <Varaxen> Glad it got the creepy aspect through
[2018-02-23 17:45:23] <Varaxen> What did you think of the video?
[2018-02-23 17:46:27] <weryllium> Pretty good
[2018-02-23 17:46:45] <weryllium> I'm not the best at visualizing these kinds of transcripts but it came across pretty well
[2018-02-23 17:47:29] <Varaxen> Cools beans
[2018-02-23 17:47:42] <Varaxen> How about the -K events?
[2018-02-23 17:48:05] <weryllium> Those were fun
[2018-02-23 17:48:14] <weryllium> I like how they ended up containing the Hows, that was a nice touch
[2018-02-23 17:48:56] <Varaxen> The Hows I think is my favorite ones
[2018-02-23 17:50:16] <Varaxen> Kirby and other brought up concerns over the length of the -K events and her running away right after them. Did you feel that way towards them or were you alright with the length?
[2018-02-23 17:50:50] <weryllium> I think the length of that table is right on the edge. Any more and it would drag, but works now
[2018-02-23 17:52:34] <Varaxen> Cool
[2018-02-23 17:52:42] <Varaxen> Any other thoughts or nitpicks?
[2018-02-23 17:53:19] <weryllium> The last interview, the one with the mom, I'm kinda meh on
[2018-02-23 17:53:31] <weryllium> First off, how would the information be trustworthy if their memories were altered?
[2018-02-23 17:54:04] <Varaxen> Hmm, yeah that’s a good point
[2018-02-23 17:55:48] <weryllium> i'm usually pretty meh on interviews unless they reveal a hefty amount of information
[2018-02-23 17:56:00] <weryllium> > she said that in the day the sun felt like it was focusing on her. When she was a toddler she would wake up screaming, I would calm her down and she would ask me if I was "playing pretend". She thought we weren't her parents, sometimes. Sometimes she didn't think anyone was anyone.
[2018-02-23 17:56:08] <weryllium> this is the best part
[2018-02-23 17:56:38] <weryllium> the agent sharing the name as the late father is kinda SoD-breaking and doesn't really have a purpose
[2018-02-23 17:57:33] <Varaxen> (Sort, whats does SoD mean?)
[2018-02-23 17:57:40] <Varaxen> Sorry*
[2018-02-23 17:58:00] <weryllium> suspension of disbelief
[2018-02-23 17:58:01] <weryllium> sorry
[2018-02-23 17:58:19] <Varaxen> Kk
[2018-02-23 17:58:29] <Varaxen> Yeah, than can easily be removed
[2018-02-23 17:58:32] <Varaxen> That*
[2018-02-23 18:03:45] <Varaxen> Is that all?
[2018-02-23 18:04:17] <weryllium> I think so.
[2018-02-23 18:04:32] <weryllium> This is longer than I'd like for something of the type, but it doesn't drag and it stays interesting
[2018-02-23 18:04:46] <Varaxen> Then final question: would you upvote this on-site?
[2018-02-23 18:05:13] <weryllium> With some changes to the ending, yeah
[2018-02-23 18:06:37] <Varaxen> Radical. Thanks for reading :)
[2018-02-23 18:06:47] <weryllium> Np
4:43 PM <thebillith> alright alright alright
4:43 PM <thebillith> send me the link again
4:43 PM <thebillith> you wanted just general impressions?
4:43 PM <DarkStuff> http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/collab:varaxous-darkstuff
4:44 PM <DarkStuff> Anything you can give me
4:44 PM <thebillith> because i want to go in depth
4:44 PM <thebillith> cool
4:44 PM <thebillith> ok
4:49 PM <thebillith> "Dr. Robert Dorer is to monitor PoI-K's mental health and act as a therapist…"
4:49 PM <thebillith> Dr. Robert Dorer is to be placed in PoI-K's ward as a psychotherapist/councelor and is to meet with them at least once every month, utilizing remote audiovisual communication platforms[footnote]Such as Skype or Discord VoIP[/footnote] when necessary.
4:54 PM <thebillith> If any anomalous activity is discovered or suspected, Dr. Dorer is to report any and all information on the matter immediately to Project Lead. Otherwise, sessions are allowed to remain private and unrecorded as per the Ethics Committee Humanoid Non-Essential Persons of Interest Relations Ordinance (NEsPRO)
4:55 PM <thebillith> or something fun like that
4:56 PM <thebillith> "During an SCP-K event, traffic entering the area is to be stopped and redirected."
4:56 PM <thebillith> …all incoming traffic is to be halted and diverted under the guise of military operations."
5:00 PM <thebillith> "Should an SCP-K event be identified, D-Class personnel equipped with basic recording equipment (microphone and video) are to be sent in immediately in order to document the events."
5:00 PM <thebillith> Should a SCP-K Emergence Event be detected, a team of D-Class personnel equipped with basic audiovosual recording equipment are to be immediately deployed to the location to document the event."
5:01 PM <DarkStuff> These are all very good vernacular assessments, I think you need to always be on my go-around for draft critique 'cause it'll always revamp my containment procedures and description
5:02 PM <thebillith> thanks!
5:02 PM <thebillith> i think that's prbably what i'm best at
5:03 PM <thebillith> i like to think my narratives are good but clinical style comes very easily to me
5:03 PM <DarkStuff> That's a good skill for this site
5:04 PM <thebillith> yeah and like actual documentation so i guess thst means I'm probably better doing something technical for a living :P
5:05 PM <thebillith> not to say i'm not artistic
5:06 PM <thebillith> https://djcthulhu.bandcamp.com/track/dead-pixels-2
5:06 PM <DarkStuff> Is this you?
5:06 PM <thebillith> yeppp
5:06 PM <DarkStuff> Ah dude! I will link you to MY music…
5:06 PM <DarkStuff> …After you're done critiquing
5:07 PM <thebillith> headphones recommended
5:07 PM <thebillith> and sure
5:07 PM <thebillith> i already told you u tay and i are starting a band
5:07 PM <thebillith> continuing with the crits
5:07 PM <DarkStuff> I thought it was gon' be Tay, Mayo, you and I, and I think some'un else
5:08 PM <DarkStuff> But that was a one-off conversation that happened forever ago
5:08 PM <thebillith> mayo?
5:08 PM <DarkStuff> Mayoculpa, they were here two months back, were awesome, got into Taylortopia and everyone liked them, and then they disappeared
5:08 PM <DarkStuff> But — oh hey, I think I'm subscribed to their YouTube channel. They are a good musician
5:09 PM <thebillith> ohhh i vaguely remember them
5:09 PM <DarkStuff> Okay okay but back to critique
5:09 PM <thebillith> and lmk what you think of my musics
5:09 PM <thebillith> thats from 2013
5:09 PM <thebillith> i think
5:09 PM <DarkStuff> aaafter critique :P
5:09 PM <thebillith> okay okay
5:15 PM <thebillith> Following the conclusion of the event, an "All-Clear" should be given before resuming public function. Any records of activity are to be purged from all public knowledge as well as witnesses amnesticized to reduce suspicions. All D-Class are to be recovered immediately following documentation and the footage analysed extensively by the Records and Information Security Administration (RAISA)
5:16 PM <thebillith> SCP-K was a series of reality degradation events originating at 49.90° N, 97.14° W (Winnipeg, Canada) and ending at 18.24° N, 66.04° W (Caguas, Puerto Rico) over a period of X time on arbitrary date here.
5:17 PM <DarkStuff> Didn't happen on just one date
5:17 PM <DarkStuff> So "arbitrary date" would not work
5:17 PM <thebillith> then the sentence needs to be changed a little to make it sound less singular
5:17 PM <thebillith> like uhhh
5:18 PM <DarkStuff> "series of reality degradation events"
5:18 PM <DarkStuff> Doesn't sound singular to me
5:18 PM <DarkStuff> But I could add "the first beginning at [date] and the last ending at [date]"
5:18 PM <DarkStuff> Phrased better than that, but you know
5:18 PM <thebillith> thats what i was gonna suggest
5:21 PM <thebillith> "town" is also kind of vague but that might be me
5:21 PM <thebillith> like the phenomenon knows only to effect towns
5:21 PM <thebillith> which are defined as urban areas
5:21 PM <DarkStuff> population centers with over X inhabitants, legally recognized by the US Government
5:22 PM <DarkStuff> / organized, I know towns have to get "organized", even if I don't exactly know what that legal term means
5:22 PM <thebillith> yeah i was gonna say "populace centers"
5:28 PM <thebillith> "When a SCP-K event occurs, all present sentient beings begin to behave as though they were members of a cast in a musical production, with the set and setting equivalent to the real life locality.
5:29 PM <thebillith> Physical objects in the area are converted into props of said items and therefore cease to function as intended in most cases.
5:31 PM <thebillith> Also i'd add …"all present sentient beings (now defined as SCP-K-A)"
5:31 PM <thebillith> rather than designating it later
5:32 PM <thebillith> it sounds kind of clunky when you designate the population and the "main cast" at the same time at the end
5:32 PM <DarkStuff> Sapient beings*
5:32 PM <thebillith> yes yes
5:32 PM <DarkStuff> Squirrels aren’t going to become SCP-K-A instances
5:32 PM <thebillith> they could
5:33 PM <thebillith> or they could become props
5:33 PM <thebillith> haha
5:35 PM <thebillith> "At the same time, a group of four to six individuals (defined SCP-K-A-Prime) will become what is considered the main or leading cast members
5:39 PM <thebillith> The plot of each SCP-K Event changes between instances but tend to be roughly determined by events already set in motion before the occurence of said event.
5:41 PM <thebillith> "For example, a major plot point during event SCP-K-X was the cancellation of an annual Christmas parade, which had already planned for several weeks prior.
5:42 PM <thebillith> already been*
5:43 PM <thebillith> Any objects or people entering the area of effect slowly become subject to the anomaly's effect, converting over time into a prop or cast member.
5:44 PM <thebillith> oop, i gotta take a call, i'll be back
5:45 PM <DarkStuff> See ya
8:10 PM ⇐ thebillith quit (~ude.nnepu.shpu.0B84C172-CRInys|nalbw#ude.nnepu.shpu.0B84C172-CRInys|nalbw) Ping timeout: 180 seconds
Wednesday, February 28th, 2018
7:16 AM <thebillith> lmk when you wanna keep going with ur article
7:17 AM <DarkStuff> Please keep messaging me with critique, but know that I am getting ready to go to school as we speak and once I am there I have two periods that won't let me on my computer or phone, so I won't be able to respond for a while
7:17 AM <DarkStuff> But I would just like to have your critique down somewhere and I'll talk to you about it later
7:18 AM <thebillith> cool cool
7:24 AM <DarkStuff> So start when you're ready :P
7:24 AM <thebillith> will do just having some food
7:29 AM <DoingStuff> While I still have time to interact, here’s the link again if you need it: http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/collab:varaxous-darkstuff
8:03 AM ↔ thebillith nipped out #taylortopia
9:13 AM ↔ thebillith nipped out #taylortopia and #site19
1:24 PM <thebillith> hey hey i'll be sending my thoughts now, just got done doing some stress tests and am waiting for more fooods
1:25 PM <DoingStuff> You got it
1:25 PM <DoingStuff> Hit me
1:26 PM <thebillith> I noticed that you change tone partway through
1:26 PM <thebillith> to past tense
1:26 PM <thebillith> i get that it is neutralizef
1:26 PM <thebillith> but you would want to stick to one or the other
1:27 PM <thebillith> i'm suddenly seeing a lot of "Was" and "would" and "were" when there wasn't before
1:27 PM <thebillith> i personally wouldn't say it in past tense like "This effect was stronger the more SCP-K-A Prime individuals were gathered in one place." but you can
1:28 PM <DoingStuff> I was trying to stick to past tense the whole time
1:28 PM <thebillith> it becomes a lot more prevalent later
1:28 PM <DoingStuff> Hmm
1:28 PM <DoingStuff> I'll do a once over later
1:28 PM <thebillith> okie doke
1:28 PM <DoingStuff> This class has a sub who didn't show up
1:28 PM <DoingStuff> So we're in the classroom and it's apparently a work period
1:29 PM <DoingStuff> Oh no there she is
1:29 PM <thebillith> i'll stick to more general fb like clinical tone and SPaG
1:29 PM <thebillith> aw
1:29 PM <thebillith> sorry
1:29 PM <DoingStuff> SPaG?
1:29 PM <thebillith> spelling punctuation and grammar
1:29 PM <DoingStuff> Gotcha
1:30 PM <thebillith> "Most objects and all people would return to normal after an SCP-K event had run its course."
1:30 PM <thebillith> "Most affected objects and people would revert to normal after the event had passed."
1:31 PM <thebillith> Maybe add an explanation about the things that dont
1:31 PM <thebillith> like
1:31 PM <DoingStuff> I'm gonna start plugging in "mundane" as a term for normal. Not just in this article, but in general. I like the idea of the Foundation having things either be "anomalous" or "mundane"
1:31 PM <DoingStuff> (Just as a sidenote)
1:32 PM <thebillith> ", however, approximately 1% of SCP-K-A instances would remain altered"
1:32 PM <thebillith> and good policy
1:32 PM <DoingStuff> I'll have to specify that all people (SCP-K-A instances) return to normal but some items don't
1:33 PM <thebillith> "SCP-K events ould follow a vague Prologue, Act I, Intermission, Act II pattern, with a possible second Intermission and Act III"
1:33 PM <thebillith> "SCP-K events would typically follow a standard Three-Act theatrical structure, with possibilities for prologues, epilogues and intermission sequences."
1:39 PM <thebillith> "The Prologue was designated as the time in which SCP-K's effects first show, beginning with the conversion of many objects into props (exact specifications difficult to measure and thus uncertain). Most members of SCP-K-A would begin to lose intricacies of emotional expression and social interaction.
1:39 PM <thebillith> This can be broken down into a bulleted list if you want, like
1:39 PM <thebillith> * [bold]Prologue Stage:Typically lasted [arbitrary, during this stage objects and people would begin their conversion into SCP-K-A instances.
1:39 PM <thebillith> but you don't have to do that
1:39 PM <thebillith> i've just seen it done and breaks the format a little
1:40 PM <thebillith> "SCP-K-A members would find nothing odd about the SCP-K event unless interrogated. "
1:40 PM <thebillith> maybe mention a mild antimemetic effect
1:41 PM <DarkStuff> It was a list before, but that took up too much room and people suggested that I smush it down to a paragraph or two
1:41 PM <thebillith> then disregard
1:41 PM <DarkStuff> Gotchoo
1:42 PM <thebillith> "SCP-K-A were considered mundane once more after amnesticization."
1:42 PM <thebillith> SCP-K-A instances were found to be non-anomalous
1:42 PM <thebillith> footnote 3
1:42 PM <thebillith> For a full list, please contact the current SCP-K project lead for approval.
1:44 PM <thebillith> "…centered around a small boy being raised by his grandparents lamenting how they abuse him"
1:45 PM <thebillith> centered around a small boy being raised by his grandparents and recalling their history of domestic abuse.
1:46 PM <thebillith> "The Hows have since been contained and classified as SCP-████."
1:46 PM <thebillith> "Entities referred to as 'The Hows' have since been contained and classified as SCP-████."
1:46 PM <DarkStuff> That just sounds like more words
1:47 PM <thebillith> dont refer to them by proper noun
1:47 PM <DarkStuff> But as I said to Vara, I'm gonna take all your suggested edits and go over them with Vara
1:47 PM <thebillith> remain clinical
1:47 PM <DarkStuff> We'll decide by committee
1:47 PM <thebillith> cool
1:47 PM <DarkStuff> You have a point
1:47 PM <DarkStuff> Continue
1:47 PM <thebillith> you could also reclassify them as SCP-K-A-005 or something
1:48 PM <thebillith> unless everything this makes warrants its own slot
1:49 PM <thebillith> The protagonists (MTF-Lambda-14, "The Extras") tried to survive and recontain the anomaly.
1:49 PM <thebillith> tried -> attempted
1:50 PM <thebillith> " It was revealed that the Site Director had released SCP-███ in an attempt to take over the world."
1:50 PM <thebillith> …the Site-██ Director had released SCP-███ in an effort of world domination.
1:51 PM <thebillith> "It began with a musical bank robbery."
1:52 PM <thebillith> Instance began as a musical involving a bank heist
1:52 PM <thebillith> Also big spacing in the middle there dunno why
1:53 PM <DarkStuff> It's a paragraph..?
1:53 PM <thebillith> It looks a little off but i suppose it works
1:56 PM <thebillith> " It was revealed in a musical number that these two members of SCP-K-A Prime were in love with each other but didn't know it"
1:56 PM <thebillith> that there two members of SCP-K-A-Prime had romantic feelings for one another but were unaware of this.
1:57 PM <thebillith> "…where a huge musical number"
1:57 PM <thebillith> "huge" sounds a little subjective and unclinical. you could include a footnote saying "roughly x attendees" or use a word like "large"
1:57 PM <DarkStuff> Aight
2:00 PM <thebillith> Everything else with Camila is great
2:00 PM <DarkStuff> Awesome
2:00 PM <thebillith> small nitpick
2:02 PM <thebillith> your video transcript towards the end, the formatting of 00:00 | looks a little odd
2:02 PM <thebillith> maybe [00:00] - this happens
2:02 PM <thebillith> but that is small
2:02 PM <thebillith> and non essential
2:03 PM <DarkStuff> I like that format and vouch to keep it
2:03 PM <thebillith> cool stuff ^^
2:03 PM <DarkStuff> That was the end of the critique?
2:04 PM <thebillith> it was getting a little hard to focus at the end, but it looked good. I'll rest a little and make sure that I'm done
2:05 PM <thebillith> i just got dinner
2:05 PM <DarkStuff> Gotcha
2:05 PM <DarkStuff> Story was cool? Video was creepy? Interviews read well?
2:06 PM <thebillith> Hell yeah
2:06 PM <thebillith> good work
2:07 PM <DarkStuff> Thank you!
8:35 PM <not_a_seagull> > Special Containment Procedures:Dr. Robert
8:35 PM <not_a_seagull> Need a space here
8:35 PM <DarkStuff> Ah man
8:35 PM <DarkStuff> My first impressions just tanked xD
8:36 PM <not_a_seagull> > [footnote]Such as Skype or Discord VoIP[/footnote]
8:36 PM <not_a_seagull> Need double brackets here
8:36 PM <DarkStuff> did we really… ouch
8:36 PM <DarkStuff> Sorry
8:37 PM <not_a_seagull> S'alright. It's what I'm
8:37 PM <not_a_seagull> Here for
8:37 PM → BoogeyMan23 joined (PI.740FB7AB.679B7F8C.C8F981C2|tibbiM#PI.740FB7AB.679B7F8C.C8F981C2|tibbiM)
8:37 PM <not_a_seagull> > Otherwise, sessions are allowed to remain private and unrecorded as per the Ethics Committee.
8:38 PM <not_a_seagull> Maybe instead say "as per the will of the Ethics Committee"?
8:38 PM <DarkStuff> Maybe, I'll see later
8:38 PM <not_a_seagull> > incoming traffic is to be diverted under the guise of military operations
8:38 PM <not_a_seagull> Need a period here
8:39 PM → Arcas joined (ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.8F20FA55-CRInys|tibbiM#ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.8F20FA55-CRInys|tibbiM)
8:39 PM <not_a_seagull> > Any records of activity are to be purged from all public knowledge as well as witnesses amnesticized to reduce suspicions.
8:39 PM <not_a_seagull> This sentence just doesn't flow well
8:40 PM <not_a_seagull> I'd personally split it up into two sentences, and replace "purged" with a synonym
8:40 PM <DarkStuff> AIght
8:40 PM <not_a_seagull> > and extended roughly 1 km outside of the city's legal boundaries
8:40 PM <not_a_seagull> I think "city" should be plural here
Overall, he really liked it, so yay!
PeppersGhost reviewed. Had some grammar and other issues, but overall, upvote.
Alternate Titles
- Unseen Burdens of Fame and Fortune (very DarkStuffian, meaning that it might not perfectly connect to the skip but elicits a feeling that I find interesting and might change headcanons in its wake)
- The Nights on Broadway (song reference)
- Time Spent in the Spotlight (alternatively A Day in the Limelight but it's not just one day so)
- All Eyes on Us (also a song reference, but a worse one)
- Making it Past Auditions (similarly DarkStuffian)
- Smile. We're all the Main Act. (DARK AND EDGY TITLE which is I guess 'Varaxinian' or something. Also is a bit reveally)
- Smile, You're on Camera (More DarkStuffian version o' your title)
- All the Worlds a Stage (suggested by captain Kirby, I love it and Ninevolt loves it, kirby said if not this one, they would choose hard knock) Varxous: I like this one a lot, I'm going to roll with it unless you disagree or by some grace of god, we find a better one.
Conversations
<DarkStuff> Heya Vara
<Varaxous> oi
-jarvis- You have 1 new messages.
<Varaxous> ! ! !
<DarkStuff> ? ? ?
<Varaxous> DarkStuff, if you ever start working on the thing last night regarding the play/reality thing, I would love to help
<DarkStuff> Ooo, sure. Help how?
<Varaxous> iunno
<Varaxous> Just general stuff, like a co-write thing, I just couldn't stop thinking about the idea
<DarkStuff> Wowie
<DarkStuff> I'm glad to have struck a chord with that — sure!
<DarkStuff> .au Varaxous
<jarvis> darkstuff: Varaxous has 3 pages (3 Originals) (2 SCP Articles, 1 Tales). They have 132 net upvotes with an average of +44. Their latest page is White at +6.
<DarkStuff> Ah yes. You and I are both collab-less
<DarkStuff> Varaxous: So what would you wanna do with it?
<Varaxous> Now that I'm looking for the relvant convo I can't find it -~-
<DarkStuff> Oh?
<DarkStuff> You had something to show me?
<Varaxous> No from the previous convo we had to tie into stuff I was thinking bout
<Varaxous> nvm found it
- trots has quit (Quit: Connection closed for inactivity)
<Varaxous> Ok so you mentioned aspects of the characters resetting and stuff
<DarkStuff> Mhmm
<Varaxous> The idea I had was that one person, the person 'immune' to the effects, is only immune psychologically
<Varaxous> But they can still see the gradual degradation of reality
<DarkStuff> So they still break into song and such? Oh
<DarkStuff> Right
<Varaxous> So like they do something 'off script' and are pulled off off stage
<Varaxous> And they disappear from our reality
<DarkStuff> Oh my
<Varaxous> Into the 'play reality' and are ventually put back into ours
<DarkStuff> And they have a description of the… backstage of reality?
<Varaxous> And they describe the play reality as either: mundane sort of 'our reality' but everyone is actors and stuff or just something else entirely
<Varaxous> yeah the backstage part works better
<Varaxous> If they mess with some things there, the effects can be seen in our current reality, either partially or fully
<DarkStuff> I would like a goofy rendition of real events, and then a goofy rendition of real events but with someone immune, and then the immune person gets taken by… "stage hands">
<DarkStuff> "stage hands".*
<Varaxous> I was thinking they finally snap
<Varaxous> "Bro what the hell is wrong you guys keep doing this, etc."
<Varaxous> And then yeah stage hands
<DarkStuff> That would also work. We don't have to have to have anything more than the guy's reaction to the weirdness around him
<DarkStuff> So maybe the backstage of reality can be either a small bit or nonexistent. I /do/ like some weird entity of stage hands though
<Varaxous> There could be so many opportunities for foreshadowing or something
<Varaxous> The world could be like a theatre of sorts
<DarkStuff> I don't need there to be big implication
<DarkStuff> Implications*
<Varaxous> NOW PLAYING: "Scarlet King II: THE RETURN"
<DarkStuff> xD
<DarkStuff> Stuff like that would be awesome though
<DarkStuff> After a "musical" has played out, posters for the company's next show will be strewn about town
<DarkStuff> And it will accurately (though very vaguely) describe when and where the next event will happen and what it will be about
<Varaxous> Another thing that could be interesting: the immune character might be able to 'see' their reality and ours almost at the same time
<DarkStuff> Which would be extra awesome for the title "Scarlet King II: THE RETURN", because it means that /when/ the Scarlet King returns, it will be a crappy stage play version xD
<DarkStuff> I would think that people who are affected by the SCP wouldn't be able to leave the premises of the musical
<DarkStuff> But like, those affected wouldn't try to either
<DarkStuff> So maybe this is the only guy that figures out that there's a barrier?
<DarkStuff> Or even better, the musical /follows/ him
<Varaxous> I was thinking that
<DarkStuff> So that he tries to escape but then becomes a walking spreader of the anomaly
<Varaxous> He is the main character, so he tries to move and run but stuff keeps happening, his friends keep turning into something else
<DarkStuff> Mhmm
<Varaxous> Another thought: "So then what happens during the intermissions?" "…" "Please respond, we nee-" "It's so cold." [END INTERVIEW]
<Varaxous> So like his friends and stuff don't exist during these transmissions/whatever
<DarkStuff> Right, during intermissions people would retreat behind doors and stuff and just disappear until the next "act"
<DarkStuff> But he'd have to be pulled off by stage hands
<Varaxous> another thought: what happens to items he brings in?
<Varaxous> Like if they bring in a knife does it get turned into a plastic knife
<DarkStuff> It gets turned into one of those knives that retracts when you "stab" someone
<DarkStuff> So it looks like you stabbed them
<DarkStuff> But it does nothing
<Varaxous> Then would the other way around make a super weapon?
<Varaxous> Like if this person brings in a knife and stabs someone in our reality, do they just entirely cease to be?
<DarkStuff> It's not an entirely separate reality
<DarkStuff> There's just the boundaries of the area of effect
<DarkStuff> And I don't think it can make anything super : when something gets transformed into a prop, it can't get transformed back
<DarkStuff> It is a prop forever now
<Varaxous> . . .
<Varaxous> What if babies were props?
<DarkStuff> oh no
<DarkStuff> And also
<DarkStuff> oh yes
<DarkStuff> Because stage productions NEVER have real babies!
<DarkStuff> Too unwieldy!
<Varaxous> Using the word 'unwieldy' sounds as if they were weapons
8:46 PM <&DarkStuff> To the "world behind the curtains", I want to know:
8:47 PM <&DarkStuff> Is the only way we know of it at all from the one guy who's unaffected, or does everybody (after an SCP-K event concludes) say like "I remember backstage and it was… weird"
8:48 PM <&DarkStuff> And to address your "should it be happy or no", I think we can play with contrast:
8:48 PM <&DarkStuff> I /would/ like to have the one unaffected guy get a happy ending
8:48 PM <&DarkStuff> He performs like they want him to, the play ends, his torment is over
8:49 PM <&DarkStuff> But the world behind the curtains /should/ be something a little wrong I think
8:49 PM <@Varaxous> For the first point, maybe a little but not much
8:49 PM <&DarkStuff> (I know I wrote in our draft that they were sorry and what not, but thinking it over I don't like that anymore)
8:50 PM <@Varaxous> If you specifically ask someone in an event about backstage or something, it'll be really hazy, like when you remember a dream only partially
8:50 PM <&DarkStuff> I like that
8:50 PM <@Varaxous> You can feel the dream
8:50 PM <@Varaxous> The air and atmosphere and stuff
8:50 PM <&DarkStuff> And it's especially weird, because, you know
8:50 PM <@Varaxous> But you can't really actually describe what happened
8:50 PM <&DarkStuff> It's not a stage. It's a town. Where's backstage?
8:50 PM <&DarkStuff> Monitoring people shows that they never… /go/ anywhere extradimensional
8:50 PM <&DarkStuff> So what is this feeling of "backstage" they get?
8:51 PM <&DarkStuff> And then the unaffected guy can explain it just a little more
8:51 PM <@Varaxous> What I like to think of this is like two worlds intersecting
8:51 PM <@Varaxous> Some places (props, the one guy, the play) it intersects pretty much exactly
8:51 PM <&DarkStuff> Mhmm
8:51 PM <@Varaxous> So they have full 'range of motion' almost
8:51 PM <@Varaxous> They can be pulled in and out
8:52 PM <@Varaxous> The backstage for the people is like a different mind brushing up against them
8:52 PM <@Varaxous> A whiff of gunpowder or of a sweaty brow
8:52 PM <&DarkStuff> Mhmm, and like a dream they get some vague images
8:53 PM <&DarkStuff> Maybe, hmm. Okay, so, what does the guy see?
8:53 PM <&DarkStuff> Since he's able to communicate in real time, and he's sane through all of it
8:53 PM <@Varaxous> One thing I considered is that this world is like a dark room when your eyes are adjusted
8:53 PM <@Varaxous> You can 'see' but no real colors
8:54 PM <@Varaxous> Everything is mostly clear
8:54 PM <&DarkStuff> If it's dark, can we play with the words "the Blackbox Theater"?
8:54 PM <&DarkStuff> That's a real type of theater, by the way
8:54 PM <@Varaxous> But some corners are impenetrable
8:54 PM <@Varaxous> Yes that's a great idea :P
8:54 PM <&DarkStuff> yay!
8:54 PM ⇐ @Dexanote quit (sdraobroolf.eht.rednu.tsopdloc.a.sereht|dna#sdraobroolf.eht.rednu.tsopdloc.a.sereht|dna) Quit: Leaving
8:54 PM <@Varaxous> Another thing: the stage isn't dark because it's lit up and 'intersecting'
8:55 PM <@Varaxous> (I just came up with that it isn't official canon)
8:55 PM <&DarkStuff> Right, that's the part that is coming into our reality
8:55 PM <&DarkStuff> The stage and the performance
8:55 PM <&DarkStuff> Mmm, eheh, so, uh, because silhouettes are great
8:55 PM <&DarkStuff> We need some good creepy description of what this audience looks like
8:56 PM <&DarkStuff> (Stage lights would blind a person on stage too much to make out concrete details)
8:56 PM <@Varaxous> Lemme dump real quick
8:56 PM <&DarkStuff> Go
8:56 PM <@Varaxous> Of a dream I had that I think would describe it wel
8:56 PM <@Varaxous> It's dark
8:56 PM <@Varaxous> There's stuff everywhere
8:56 PM <@Varaxous> The light of the moon from a single square window is shining through
8:56 PM <@Varaxous> It's the only thing illuminating stuff
8:56 PM <@Varaxous> There's something there
8:57 PM <@Varaxous> In the corners
8:57 PM <@Varaxous> Behind you
8:57 PM <@Varaxous> But you can't make them out
8:57 PM <@Varaxous> You can feel them without any doubt, but you can't see them
8:57 PM <@Varaxous> The door mentioned earlier is there
8:57 PM <@Varaxous> You know you came through it but you're sure when or how
8:57 PM <@Varaxous> You don't know what's behind it and you don't wanna know
8:58 PM <@Varaxous> You start walking towards the winder, but you keep tripping
8:58 PM <@Varaxous> It's like a playroom, things scattered everywhere
8:58 PM <@Varaxous> The tension is building, those things want something. You need to get out, have to get, but your legs aren't really working
8:58 PM <@Varaxous> You crawl up in ball , scared, then wake up
8:59 PM <@Varaxous> You're in your bed everything is fine
8:59 PM <@Varaxous> Fast forward a bit, and you have the same dream again
8:59 PM <@Varaxous> You get up and start walking, to the window.
8:59 PM <@Varaxous> But it's locked
9:00 PM <@Varaxous> You slowly look behind and see a key just in front of the darkness
9:00 PM <@Varaxous> By the key you finally see those things
9:00 PM <@Varaxous> They're obscured by the same dark but you can make out details
9:01 PM <@Varaxous> So you edge towards the key and finally grab it, turn back and unlock the window
9:01 PM <@Varaxous> This whole time you are very aware of that thing standing behind you
9:01 PM <@Varaxous> Your body turns to jelly in that dream way
9:01 PM <@Varaxous> You manage to crawl out
9:02 PM <@Varaxous> You fall down to the dark grassy field
9:02 PM <@Varaxous> You open your eyes and there are more of those things staring down at you
9:02 PM <@Varaxous> /dump
9:02 PM <&DarkStuff> I already had a thought, but continue
9:02 PM <&DarkStuff> Oh!
9:02 PM <&DarkStuff> Wow, well timed thought
9:03 PM <@Varaxous> :P
9:03 PM <&DarkStuff> Okay! So, translation of this into stage form:
9:03 PM <&DarkStuff> Or, at the VERY least, what the guy who is unaffected saw
9:03 PM <@Varaxous> (I do believe in the original dream I fell through into another room exactly the same, the window just being a way into an identical room)
9:04 PM <@Varaxous> (but it gets kind of fuzzy)
9:04 PM <&DarkStuff> So, instead of just being in a dark room, you're on the stage. The dark corner type idea where you can't quite make it out would be the audience, and you can swear something is staring out at you from the wings (not sure how much theater terminology you know, but I think it's common knowledge that the wings are the entrances to backstage from the stage and they're dark)
9:05 PM <&DarkStuff> There's the soft glow of the exit sign at the back of the hall
9:05 PM <&DarkStuff> Nobody else is brave enough to go, they are waiting back and performing and having a go of it
9:05 PM <@Varaxous> (If I don't know I'll just ask)
9:06 PM → @Varaxen (opped) joined
9:06 PM <&DarkStuff> But while some musical number is going, he sneaks off stage and into one of the aisles. This is all what he sees in his head by the way, what actually occurs in "reality" is a little different, visually
9:06 PM <@Varaxous> I'll be transferring to Varaxen so don't panic
9:06 PM ⇐ @Varaxous quit (suoxa.r|V#suoxa.r|V) Connection reset by peer
9:06 PM <&DarkStuff> But he's in one of the aisles. He can make them out more clearly now, but still not very well
9:07 PM <&DarkStuff> He starts by crawling, then walking, and feeling more and more eyes on him he starts running and running and suddenly he's sprinting towards the exit
9:07 PM <&DarkStuff> And, of course (this is the point where in real life he breaks free of the anomaly's effect) he makes it
9:08 PM <&DarkStuff> Maybe at first he's running through hallways, and then the lobby, and then whatever, but eventually he's out in a field
9:09 PM <&DarkStuff> There's NOTHING else out there… just the theater behind him, and it appears to all be tall black grass with a full moon behind clouds lighting things up
9:09 PM <@Varaxen> “Stop watching? But why? You’re the star of the show.”
9:09 PM <&DarkStuff> And he keeps running, and running, and running, and every time he turns back… well, hmm.
9:09 PM <&DarkStuff> Actually, I don't know if I want them chasing him, I want something more subtly ominous
9:09 PM <&DarkStuff> Something that says "oh we don't have to chase you"
9:10 PM <&DarkStuff> "we know you'll be back"
9:10 PM <@Varaxen> I just had a thought
9:10 PM <&DarkStuff> Tell it
9:10 PM <@Varaxen> There is no real stage
9:10 PM <@Varaxen> No real performance
9:10 PM <@Varaxen> They are always there, watching him
9:10 PM <@Varaxen> Because his the stage
9:10 PM <@Varaxen> The act
9:10 PM <@Varaxen> The performace
9:10 PM <@Varaxen> He is*
9:11 PM <&DarkStuff> Ooooh, image, imagery:
9:11 PM <&DarkStuff> He runs out into the field, and he thinks he is getting away
9:11 PM <&DarkStuff> But he just starts stumbling upon chairs
9:11 PM <&DarkStuff> And now every once in a while the chairs have more audience members sitting in them
9:12 PM <&DarkStuff> And maybe from the top of the theater, the ominous thing is simply a spotlight
9:12 PM <&DarkStuff> That follows him
9:12 PM <&DarkStuff> And if he stands in one place for too long, a stage starts pushing itself out of the dirt beneath him
9:13 PM <@Varaxen> (Another idea: if he gets too far or something they drag him back, as if he was crowd surfing)
9:13 PM <&DarkStuff> :O I like it
9:13 PM <&DarkStuff> And now, the hard part:
9:13 PM <&DarkStuff> How do we translate this into the real world
9:13 PM <&DarkStuff> Maybe at first he's just saying it
9:14 PM <&DarkStuff> And then it starts really truly happening
9:14 PM <&DarkStuff> Oh, and the crowd surfing could be only real life
9:14 PM <@Varaxen> One thing I was thinking
9:14 PM <&DarkStuff> Where he gets to the next town over and the town just coagulates and then picks him up
9:15 PM <@Varaxen> Was that each manifestation increases this
9:15 PM <@Varaxen> As if they want to actually meet him in real life
9:15 PM <@Varaxen> Also since we’re using He, we’re going with he’s a dude
9:15 PM <@Varaxen> Name we can do later
9:16 PM <&DarkStuff> Ack, okay, small side note:
9:16 PM <&DarkStuff> I think my "gender neutral" pronoun for when I haven't decided what gender a character should be is "he"
9:16 PM <&DarkStuff> 'Cause I'm a dude so I just think in terms of dudes
9:16 PM <&DarkStuff> But we can easily change it to a "she"
9:16 PM <&DarkStuff> And really, I think we should
9:16 PM <&DarkStuff> Too many "he"s in this world
9:17 PM <@Varaxen> Cool
9:17 PM <&DarkStuff> We need a "she"
9:17 PM <@Varaxen> I can respect that
9:17 PM <&DarkStuff> Coolio, female from now on then
9:17 PM <@Varaxen> Ye
9:17 PM <&DarkStuff> That's actually how my Skyscraper story protagonist became she too
9:18 PM <&DarkStuff> I just thought "…All my characters are boys, is there any reason this character in this tower has to be a boy?"
9:18 PM <&DarkStuff> Turns out: no, there was no need. So she became a she.
9:18 PM <@Varaxen> I normally just resort to random # generators or something
9:19 PM <@Varaxen> If it draws its name or something from real life I’ll roll with that
9:19 PM <&DarkStuff> Mhmm
9:19 PM <&DarkStuff> Alright, anyways, back to the thing, so:
9:19 PM <@Varaxen> (Quick thing: I gotta go to bed in 10 minutes cause school :(. )
9:19 PM <&DarkStuff> > Was that each manifestation increases this
9:19 PM <&DarkStuff> > As if they want to actually meet him in real life
9:19 PM <&DarkStuff> Gotcha
9:19 PM <&DarkStuff> Finish that thought first though
9:20 PM <@Varaxen> Oh sorry
9:20 PM <@Varaxen> So each manifestation increases his disassociation with current reality
9:21 PM <@Varaxen> Her*
9:21 PM <@Varaxen> Because they want her for something
9:21 PM <@Varaxen> Either an actors guild, job offer, or they are just fans, they want to physically meet her
9:21 PM <&DarkStuff> She IS part of SCP-K-A Prime, show can't go on without her
9:22 PM <@Varaxen> Exactly
9:22 PM <@Varaxen> So like
9:22 PM <@Varaxen> Maybe the fact that she is aware
9:22 PM <@Varaxen> Is something that interests them
9:22 PM <&DarkStuff> Mhmm
9:23 PM <@Varaxen> (Also cool thing we could do: imply that they’re always watching, even if we don’t know. There doesn’t have to be an SCP-K for there to be an audience)
9:24 PM <&DarkStuff> I /was/ thinking that when it was all over and she was back to a "normal" life, the last line is an addendum where she coughs up blood and flyers for the next performance coming soon with some real weird implication
9:24 PM <&DarkStuff> The implication coming from what the flyer advertises
9:24 PM <@Varaxen> That’s
9:24 PM <@Varaxen> Horrifying
9:24 PM <@Varaxen> I love it
9:24 PM <&DarkStuff> :D
9:24 PM <&DarkStuff> And yes, I like the "always watching" implication
9:24 PM <&DarkStuff> And dude, just want to say:
9:25 PM <&DarkStuff> Before you go to sleep that is
9:25 PM <&DarkStuff> If we sneak in a couple specific lines, this could very easily (though I won't crosslink to Vend-a-Friend in the article) be a Vend-a-Friend crossover, extremely subtly
9:25 PM <&DarkStuff> Hear me out
9:25 PM <&DarkStuff> Brainy Brian patented lines (that he has REPEATED several times, essential parts of Brainy's psyche and lore):
9:26 PM <&DarkStuff> "Life's a show, and I'm the star!" He says that a lot, he gets REALLY fucked up when he thinks about it (for no concrete reason), and he refers to the sun as a giant spotlight
9:27 PM <&DarkStuff> If we have some lines in there about the sun being a spotlight — could literally be some throwaway lines, just one or two — it could easily be implied that Brainy was in one of these as a kid and it fucked him up royally
9:27 PM <@Varaxen> Not just that
9:27 PM <&DarkStuff> But that he's still affected
9:28 PM <@Varaxen> These people who are ‘special’
9:28 PM <@Varaxen> We could do a thing were they’ve always sort of known
9:28 PM <@Varaxen> In their dreams they see the watching eyes
9:28 PM <&DarkStuff> Yes, yeesss we could
9:28 PM <@Varaxen> The single blinding light
9:29 PM <&DarkStuff> Before the Puerto Rico, we can have one or two people get brief moments of clarity in the middle of performances and have that be noted
9:29 PM <&DarkStuff> And they can say some of the first foreshadowing of what's really going on
9:29 PM <&DarkStuff> In their moments of clarity
9:30 PM <&DarkStuff> Also, I love "the single blinding light" as a line
9:31 PM <&DarkStuff> BRB, if you're gone by the time I get back then goodnight dude!
9:31 PM <&DarkStuff> This has been a great brainstorm, and I will copy it into our sandbox
9:31 PM <@Varaxen> ‘I see them. The slow, shifting grass, the trees in the distance. Eyes from every corner. You can’t see them, but they’re there. Watching. And that single blinding light, shining through my soul. And the watchful gaze of the thing controlling it.’
9:32 PM <@Varaxen> Remove the ‘and’ from the blinding light line
9:32 PM <@Varaxen> TOO MANY ANDS :(
9:37 PM ⇐ superblobby quit (moc.duolccri.etaghgih.1C14C46D-CRInys|065952diu#moc.duolccri.etaghgih.1C14C46D-CRInys|065952diu) Quit: Connection closed for inactivity
9:38 PM <@Varaxen> Also yes that’s my que to sleep :(
9:38 PM <@Varaxen> Night!~~~~~~~~~~
We're gonna need an author post somewhere. SO let's draft em here
Darkstuff gets top post
Varaxous gets bottom post
…
SCP-K-1 | Winnipeg, Canada 11/17/1898 | Reports indicate that the start of SCP-K-1 was a shortage of maple syrup. Over the course of Act I, it was revealed that the culprit must have been someone with political influence. At the end, it was revealed that the incredibly popular mayor was the cause of the shortage, apparently for his own benefit. The event concluded with the mayor being found out, dunked in maple syrup, and arrested by the local police department. | First recorded SCP-K instance. |
SCP-K-9 | Howell, Michigan 01/01/1950 | SCP-K-A Prime was comprised of four individuals that come into town to attempt to individually start pet stores. Upon discovering each other beginning the same venue of business, competition arose quickly. The plot centered around their attempts to sabotage one another, but took a turn when Henry Wair got bitten by a wolf contained in Jasper Sven's store as a booby trap and finds himself a werewolf. The event ended when Max Hue, Jake Vhat, and Jasper Sven shot Henry Wair with a silver bullet, paradoxically making him not a werewolf but not killing him, and chose to combine their franchises. | The "Hue, Vhat, Sven, Wair in Howell" Pet Store is still under surveillance, but has shown no further anomalous activity. |