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Item #: SCP-GUMMY-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Instances of SCP-GUMMY-J are to be dropped into a hatch located in [REDACTED]'s office. Below the hatch in [REDACTED]'s office is a 10x10x10 meter room with an incinerator installed at the bottom of the room, with a 7x7x1m fireproof incineration hatch installed above the incinerator. The hatch is to be opened every third Tuesday of the month at precisely 4:27AM. All instances of SCP-GUMMY-J are to be burned by 5:00 promptly, or else Steve will eat them all, and you know what happens when you eat them.

Description: SCP-GUMMY-J is a 2.26 kg bag filled with Haribo brand sugarless gummy bears. Once ingested, these gummy bears will unleash Pandora's Box in your digestion system. Test subjects had no complaints for about 20 minutes, until pains in their intestines started. This is the first stage. There are 3 stages:

Stage 1: This stage occurs approximately 20 minutes after a subject's ingestion AKA 'zero time'. It starts with a sharp pain in the subject's digestive tract, which continues to ramp up until Stage 2 is reached

Stage 2: This stage occurs approximately 22 minutes after zero time. This stage is short-lived, similar to it's predecessor. In Stage 2, subjects will experience flatulence, bloating, and odor that even SCP-1834 can't compete with.

Stage 3: This stage occurs approximately 23 minutes after zero time and lasts for 3-6 hours (results may vary). At this stage, subjects will have the sudden urge to go to the nearest lavatory. Once seated in the lavatory, on a toilet, subjects will experience atomic explosive nuclear diarrhea, which will penetrate through the subjects rectum and flood the toilet with Satan's hell liquid (Note: If a toilet isn't reached, subjects will die from atomic nuclear diarrhea. Subjects will go through enormous measures to get to a toilet, like one subject who died banging himself against a blast door). Diarrhea will continue well into the 3-6 hour mark before slowly dying down. Any subject that survives eating an entire instance of SCP-GUMMY-J, will be given the Foundation's outstanding survival skills award 'You Cheated Death'.

Addendum: DO NOT LET STEVE EAT THESE THINGS HE WILL UNLEASH SATAN'S FIERY NAPALM ALL OVER SITE ██!!!!!!