Daveyoufool's Box de la Sand
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-3XXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:


Frequently Asked Questions:

What is the meaning of life? - To make your baby happy for all eternity!

Why are babies better than me? - What better way to answer that than to look at their cute little smiles? But if that's not enough, remember that babies are incapable of causing war, destruction, murder, rape, and all those other nasty things that we Ad*lts have used to turn Planet Kinderheim into whatever this "earth" thing is.

What if I don't want to be my baby's slave? - That's fine! You don't have to want your place in life, only to obey.

What should I do if my baby starts crying because of me? - Use the STOP system:
S - Sixty seconds. That's how long you have to make your baby laugh. If that fails…
T - Terminate your service. Your baby has rejected you.
O - Offer your baby to the nearest available Kinderheim representative.
P - Put a pistol to your head and pull the trigger.