Doctor Rabbit

Item #: SCP-####
Object class: Safe

Special Containment procedures: SCP-#### is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell. Cell floor should be lined with a minimum of one inch of desert sand or sand substitutes. No sharp objects are to be brought into SCP-####'s containment cell and all provided items are to be sanded down to reduce risk of activating anomalous effects outside of testing. A cactus can however be provided pending approval of any on-site administration.

At least one caretaker able to speak Mandarin-Chinese is to remain nearby SCP-#### at all times. Available caretakers have been provided an schedule suited to SCP-####'s low level upkeep.

Description: SCP-#### is a humanoid entity standing at 1.6 meters in height and weighing only 80 kilos. Subject’s main body is composed of a rubber commonly used in novelty balloons, and has been modeled to look like a cactus wearing a sombrero. Both of the subject's legs end in a plastic orange pot, the base of which have a felt lining showing normal levels of wear. The subject is fluent in Mandarin-Chinese but will greet people in broken Spanish phrases. A tag reading "Made in China" was found tucked inside the pot SCP-#### stands within.

Most notable was a label tattooed upon the subject's back, "Prof Fundertainman, you find Senior Cactus, collect all" tattoo shows signs of wear consistent with age.

SCP-#### will slowly deflate at the rate consistent with ordinary balloons while not in contact with sand or a sand substitute, becoming inactive when going below approximately 10% capacity

SCP-####’s anomalous behavior comes into effect when the subject comes into contact with any object that ends in a point sharp enough to puncture a balloon with low effort. Items excluded from the effects are all plant based materials such as thorns. These items coming into contact with SCP-#### will be rapidly converted to a similar rubber as the subject and burst, slowly re-inflating into a balloon version of that object. Items converted in this manner have no further anomalous qualities and must be re-inflated by normal means. Animals tested have not retained animate qualities. Testing with dull items while applying further force to SCP-#### have yielded no results, nor has the subject shown any signs of wear or stretching that would result in popping.

Recovery: SCP-#### came to the foundation's attention after reports of a bizarre stereotypical cactus began to surface from a street corner in █████████ Mexico. Foundation personal recovered the subject, a pair of inflatable scissors and three small beige balloons believed to be toothpicks found near the subject. Amnestics were provided to the general population. No incident during recovery.

The following is an interview conducted by Dr. ██████ █████ after the initial recovery

Interviewer: Dr. ██████ █████, Site-##

Interviewee: SCP-#### (Translated)


[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. █████: Hello, SCP-####, or I suppose I'll call you… uh, Senior? Senor. (Aside) That is, uh, okay, skip this part, just say hi.

SCP-####: (In Spanish, poorly) Hi, are you my new doctor? Crazy stuff, friend.

Dr. █████: Okay, now that we're all introduced, I have a few questions for you, is that alright?

SCP-####: (In Mandarin-Chinese. Subject speaks this way for the remainder of the interview) Yes, that will be fine. I am not in any trouble, am I?

Dr. █████: Not at the moment, no. I'd like to know what you were doing before we picked you off the street.

SCP-####: Ah, just getting the good brand name out there, business doesn't wait for the lazy.

Dr. █████: Yes, yes, Prof Fundertainman, was it? I assume that's your employer?

SCP-####: Oh, no, that is just our mascot. Every good brand needs a mascot.

Dr. █████: Mascot.. alright, so why not just make you the mascot?

SCP-####: Me? No, no, I'm just a product. Prof Fundertainman figures do come out in the next lineup, so keep your eyes peeled for those, they're gonna be big sellers.

Dr. █████: Alright, so you come in sets? Oh boy, uh, how many sets are there going to be?

SCP-####: Company secrets, doctor, I'm under contract not to say anything, big hush, I already spoiled the big moneymaker.

Dr. █████: So your company sells anomalous sentient bootlegs. Now you, (Aside) he said figures, plural, yes? Okay, (To Subject) are your products mass produced?

SCP-####: Ah, that is a bit harsh, they just do not want people to feel left out. If there was only one, it'd be too hard to find.

Dr. █████: Alright then. One last question and we'll wrap this up; Who bought you?

SCP-####: The SCP Foundation.

[END LOG]

Interviewer's Note: SCP-#### has refused to, or simply cannot elaborate on how this supposed purchase was made. It simply repeats several lines about confidentiality from various company policies and further questioning is getting us nowhere. No apparent currency based funds have been deducted through normal or anomalous means so far as we can tell, but an investigation is still underway regarding this issue. We have also not ruled out the idea that SCP-#### is simply lying, but as of yet there's no solid motive as why it'd do so.

Furthermore the glaring issue brought to light by this is the mass production of anomalies entities. While SCP-#### is so harmless as to pacify potentially harmful objects, the risk of this Prof Fundertainman brand mass producing any "figures" with hazardous features remains.