SCP-XXXX draft. "The Almightly Jar"
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-2517

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2517 is to be housed in a small aluminium storage locker located in Storage Block D, at Site-19. SCP-2517 is not to be interacted with in any way without prior approval from at least one Level 3 or above personnel. No objects, especially biological matter, are to be inserted into SCP-2517 unless directly ordered by a level 3 or above researcher.

Description: SCP-2517 superficially appears to be a 40oz jar of Jif Brand “Reduced Fat Creamy Peanut Butter Spread”. From the outside the jar appears to be about three quarters full of a substance which is presumed to be standard light brown peanut butter.

When the lid of the object is removed the object’s primary anomalous property becomes apparent; the inside of SCP-2517 is entirely black, even when high powered lights have been used in attempts to illuminate it. Furthermore, any objects which are inserted deeper than 6cm into the jar immediately become impossible to retrieve with any methods so far tested by the Foundation.

All current testing on SCP-2517 suggests that the object contains an infinite space within, and that there is no size limit on objects that can be inserted into it. Further testing, though, is needed to confirm this.

Further experimentation has revealed that prolonged exposure to SCP-2517 can cause permanent, but generally minor, neurological damage to subjects. The symptoms manifest similarly to those Tourette’s Syndrome, with subjects inadvertently saying words and phrases associated with SCP-2517. These effects diminish with the passage of time as the subject is no longer exposed to SCP-2517, but never are fully treated, as subjects will continue to occasionally use these phrases inadvertently and without context even years after interacting with SCP-2517.

Class-D personnel with exceptionally low IQ have been observed to show more significant psychological effects from SCP-2517. These subjects may suffer neurological damage making it impossible for them to think about anything other than SCP-2517. The passage of time does not seem to diminish the effect in these subjects. All subjects with these conditions are to be terminated unless requested for research uses by a level 3 or above Foundation scientist.

Phrases spoken by subjects, which appear to be directly attributable to the effects of SCP-2517 include, but are not limited to:

“Choosy moms choose Jif”

“Choosy moms choose Jar”

“Choosy moms choose [REDACTED]”

“You will choose Jar”

“The Jar is my God”

“All hail Jar”

“Have you accepted The Jar as your lord and savior.”

“The Jar demands my obedience.”

“I am the Jar”

“mmm… low fat peanut butter is the best.”

Subjects claim to not realize they have spoken these phrases, or other phrases from the effect of SCP-2517, unless it is explicitly pointed out to them, at which point they generally respond with embarrassment.