Welcome to my general sandbox. This is where I put most of my basic ideas. A lot of them are come and go scribbles of ideas that I think would be a good idea to keep.
I've pretty much decided to leave this site, because I was getting sick of all the random shit this stupid site does. I used to say y'all could steal these. But nah, I wanna keep them for now.
Nope, turns out the CHAD SITE EXISTS1 I'll be keeping this sandbox until they make their own sandbox. Then I'll finally be able to purge every cent of me from here. Succ!
- Saving Private Ryan (Rewrite of Jacobisbatman's SCP)
- Your Own Special Place in Hell
- The Giant Lobster Vessel?
- 1337 h4x0rz
- Beyond the Yellow Brick Road
- Actual Racist KKK Shit
- Music Box
- A Thesis on "Cunt" and Other Australian Vernacular
- I Can't Believe It's Not Cosmos
- Tsunami Island
- A Sad Person?
- Typewriter
- A Spider Hospital
- Dynamite is an Acceptable Substitute for Bug Spray
- Trash Trees
- This site is shit
- We are number one but it's an SCP tale thing
- Captain Amazing
- Leopard Man
Item#: SCP-3731
Object class: Neutralised (Formerly Euclid)
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is currently buried within the coffin of █████ Ryan, UK. SCP-XXXX does not currently posses any anomalous effects. Should any effects be reported, SCP-XXXX is to be reclassified as Euclid and original containment procedures be put into effect.
SCP-XXXX is to be contained within a 15x15x4 metre chamber on a 140cm pedestal located on Site-███, France. A circular exclusion zone is to be marked 734cm from SCP-XXXX. No personnel are to enter this exclusion zone between the time of 11:37am and 1:21pm with the exception of scheduled Class-D personnel used for procedure XXXX-Delta.
Procedure XXXX-Delta is to be conducted as follows:
At 10am, twelve (12) Class-D personnel are to enter SCP-XXXX's containment chamber and instructed to stand within the exclusion zone. Should any Class-D fail to comply, termination of up to five (5) Class-D personnel may be carried out. Personnel are to remain within this exclusion zone until the time of 1:40pm. During the period where Class-D personnel are being affected by SCP-3731, no disturbances are to be made to affected bodies. Failure to correctly complete this procedure will result in expansion of SCP-XXXX's area of effect.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a Brodie model steel combat helmet issued during World War I, confirmed to have been issued to private █████ Ryan, who was confirmed killed in action during World War 12.
SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties manifest during the time of 11:37am and 1:21pm, Amiens time. During this time, all humans within a certain radius to SCP-XXXX3 will enter a comatose state and experience SCP-XXXX-1.
SCP-XXXX-1 is a hallucinogenic state experienced by any personnel within the area of effect of SCP-XXXX during the manifestation of its anomalous properties. Visually, SCP-XXXX-1 resembles the area of Fromelles, France during the time of World War 14. Any video and audio footage attached to affected individuals will record the events that take place in SCP-XXXX-1. This comatose state will last from 11:37am to 1:21pm, Amiens time. Should any person perish inside SCP-XXXX-1, they will immediately resume consciousness5. Wounds sustained inside SCP-XXXX-1 will not persist once individuals resume consciousness, but most individuals will experience symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder.
If SCP-XXXX is unable to affect at least seven (7) individuals due to none being within its range, SCP-XXXX's area of effect will begin expanding at speeds ranging from 12cm per hour, to 3m per hour. This expansion of SCP-XXXX's effect is permanent, and will not cease until at least seven (7) individuals would be affected by SCP-XXXX's effect.
Addendum:
Addendum 1: During testing of SCP-3731, a task force was allowed to enter the dream on August ██ 2001. During the test a member of the taskforce reportedly pushed SCP-3731-A out of the way of an incoming shell and into a nearby shell hole. After the ten minutes ended all task force members awoke from the dream and SCP-3731 subsequently vanished from site-██. After thorough searching of site-██ it was discovered that all records of SCP-3731-A’s death had disappeared. 5 days later the death of █████ Bryan was reported on the news. He had apparently survived WW1 and died at the old age of 98. In an account in the book ██████ he talks about how a brave soldier saved him from a falling shell during in the battle of Loos. SCP-3731 was reportedly buried with him upon his death.
Author's Commentary
This is where I put some commentary on my pieces. Don't worry, this will not be kept on the page once I mainlist the work, instead I'll put it on the comment section. This is purely out of universe, and should be treated only as my thoughts and commentary on a piece.
- When I originally planned to make this piece, it was going to be a German helmet and was going to be titled in some Google translate German.
- I decided against making it German after seeing Jacobisbatman's title for the piece (Saving Private Bryan).
- When writing the piece, I decided to change the name from Bryan to Ryan so that I could make the obvious movie nod even more obvious. Yes, I know Saving Private Ryan is set during WW2, shut up.
- I didn't originally feel like rewriting this piece. In the end, I just said "screw it" and offered to rewrite it.
- The only reason I made the effects of this item expand if it didn't affect a certain number of people was so that I could add some real suspense/danger to this. It wasn't in Jacobisbatman's original version.
- I was going to make it so that any wounds that happened during SCP-XXXX-1 would manifest on the actual bodies of people. I felt like that would make this too generic, and since it wasn't in Jacobisbatman's original version, I decided against it.
- In order to find a specific battle to use, I went on Wikipedia and clicked on random battles during the Somme Offensive until I found one that the British were in and lost. In Jacobisbatman's original version, it was the battle of Loos.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: [Talk about how the thing is immobile and has had a thing built around it]
Description: [This is a large essentially black hole except it doesn't have massive gravitational pull. Anything that touches it is sucked in to it. The interior is a really cramped space, and people inside their do not age or anything like that.]
Addendum: [Talk about its discovery at a random school. Talk about some kid who went in it. He brought a diary with him and is writing about how he can't get out. He manages to force his diary out of the thing and the Foundation start sending him messages through there and eventually rescue him.]
Author's Commentary
This is where I put some commentary on my pieces. Don't worry, this will not be kept on the page once I mainlist the work, instead I'll put it on the comment section. This is purely out of universe, and should be treated only as my thoughts and commentary on a piece.
- I originally got this idea from a random dream I had. In the dream, there were originally 4 of these orbs, one for each student trapped within?
- When I decided to put this idea down on this sandbox, I thought of actually writing huge pages of a journal that this person wrote while trapped within the orb, then uploading images as a supplement.
- The idea that they eventually rescue this kid is just me wanting a bit of a happy ending.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: [Talk about how it's located in a giant lake thing, and how the lake has been sealed off from access. Talk about how it needs people constantly patrolling it.]
Description: [A giant underwater vessel that resembles a large submarine. Creates a drain to suck people in. The inside is full of water and houses millions of Lobsters just sitting at the bottom in a massive pile. The Lobsters will kill the human. I dunno?]
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
Author's Commentary
This is where I put some commentary on my pieces. Don't worry, this will not be kept on the page once I mainlist the work, instead I'll put it on the comment section. This is purely out of universe, and should be treated only as my thoughts and commentary on a piece.
- This idea came from the same dream that gave me the idea of those damn orbs.
- I like Lobsters, can you tell?
It3m #: xXx_5CP-1337-J_xXx
0bj3ct C1455: D4nk
5p3ci41 C0nt4inm3nt Pr0c3dur35: In5t4nc35 0f xXx_5CP-1337-J_xXx inf3ct3d p3r50nn3l 0r m3di4 4r3 t0 b3 c0nt4in3d in 5it3-360. P3rs0nn31 c0nfirm3d6 t0 b3 inf3ct3d with xXx_5CP-1337-J_xXx 4r3 to be informed that the joke is no longer funny ch4113ng3d t0 4 1v1 Ru5t quicksc0p35 0n1y. MTF 0m3g4-69 "F4z3 C14n" i5 t0 b3 pr0vid3d with 6 "Xb0x 360" c0ns0l35 4nd 12 c0pi35 of "C411 0f Duty: M0d3rn W4rf4r3 2" 4t 411 tim35.
P3r50nn31 0b53rv3d c4rrying 4ny 0f th3 f0110wing it3m5 in 5ite-360 4r3 t0 b3 t3st3d f0r p055ib13 xXx_5CP-1337-J_xXx inf3cti0n:
- D4nk w33d
- F3d0r45
- 5nip4r rif135
- D0rit05 br4nd3d t0rti114 chip5
- M0unt4in D3w br4nd3d s0ft drink
- MP3 0r 0th3r d3vic35 c0nt4ining th3 5ing13 "H01din' 0n" by 4m3ric4n DJ Skri113x
D35cripti0n:
NON-LEETSPEAK VERSION
Item #: xXx_SCP-1337-J_xXx
Object Class: Dank
Special Containment Procedures: Instances of xXx_SCP-1337-J_xXx infected personnel or media are to be contained in Site-360. Personnel confirmed7 to be infected with xXx_SCP-1337-J_xXx are to be informed that the joke is no longer funny challenged to a 1v1 Rust quickscopes only. MTF Omega-69 "Faze Clan" is to be provided with 6 Xbox 360 consoles and 12 copies of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 at all times.
Personnel observed carrying any of the following items in Site-360 are to be tested for possible xXx_SCP-1337-J_xXx infection:
- Dank weed
- Fedoras
- Snipar rifles8
- Doritos branded tortilla chips
- Mountain Dew branded soft drink
- MP3 or other devices containing the single "Holdin' on" by American DJ Skrillex
Description:
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the procedures]
Description: [Paragraphs explaining the description]
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
OUT OF CHARACTER NOTE: Before you read this one, just realise that it is an SCP based on the anomalous works of a KKK member that makes other people hate those the novels target. Obviously, it features some intolerant themes from certain people. Especially for a site that is as accepting as it is. Just remember, I do not share ANY opinions that characters in this skip might say. Some horrible things happen here, make sure you're prepared. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX, complete containment is impossible for the foreseeable future. Any located instances of SCP-XXXX are to be destroyed without review. The Foundation is to monitor all Ku Klux Klan and other far-right groups for possible SCP-XXXX infection. Any Foundation workers, including D-class, with previous affiliations to the Ku Klux Klan or other far-right groups are forbidden from contact with SCP-XXXX.
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to a series of books from Ku Klux Klan member Clayton McGreggor9 published by White Pride Publishing10. All books are themed around inciting violence, and the supposed inferiority of certain demographics11. SCP-XXXX instances will typically manifest in book stores, dollar stores, and markets, even if these books would normally rejected from these areas. Currently, all confirmed instances bear the signature of the author.
Exposure to information regarding the contents of SCP-XXXX instances, and SCP-XXXX instances themselves, will result in the victim12 adopting the views of the particular instance. SCP-XXXX-1 adoption is split over three stages:
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
WARNING: SCP-XXXX IS A CLASS Ω INFOHAZARD. ANY AND ALL INFORMATION, WHETHER RELATED TO OR NOT RELATED TO SCP-XXXX, IS SUSCEPTIBLE TO SCP-XXXX INFECTION. IN THE EVENT THAT SCP-XXXX INFECTION IS FOUND ON THIS PAGE, PERSONNEL ARE TO IMMEDIATELY CLOSE THIS PAGE, AND REPORT THEIR FINDINGS TO DR CHARLES CLARK OF SITE-XXXX.
PROCEED WITH CAUTION!
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is currently contained within Site-XXXX13. SCP-XXXX is to be sealed within a specially built containment chamber located 300m below sea-level. This chamber is to be hermetically sealed and kept in a constant vacuum. No personnel are under any circumstances permitted to enter SCP-XXXX's containment chamber. No video or audio equipment, or any device capable of displaying video or audio are to be allowed inside of Site-XXXX No electronic equipment of any kind is to be allowed inside of SCP-XXXX's containment chamber. The inside of SCP-XXXX's containment chamber is a specially constructed anechoic chamber designed to absorb ~99% of the noise created by SCP-XXXX. All personnel in Site-XXXX are to wear noise-cancelling headphones.
Any and all information suspected of SCP-XXXX infection is to be destroyed without review, including personnel.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a ratchet lever based music box. In addition to the components usually associated with these music boxes, SCP-XXXX features a plastic container placed above the mechanism. The lever attached to SCP-XXXX for the purpose of rotating the cylinder is in a state of perpetual motion. Currently, no testing or experimentation has been able to stop this lever. SCP-XXXX is either massively resistant or immune to all attempts to damage it, and has survived heat in excess of 700°C, and forces passed 1000N. SCP-XXXX emanates a constant musical tune as a result of its the perpetual motion of the lever.
Music from SCP-XXXX is capable of infecting any vector of information, and uses differing methods dependant on the item being infected. Audio and video will simply be replaced with SCP-XXXX's music, while memories of persons and animals are overwritten, electronic documents are edited to seemingly random characters14, and computer code is replaced with binary representing music originating from SCP-XXXX.
The most unique example however, is SCP-XXXX's effect on written documentation; while the contents itself is not changed, persons viewing it will begin to familiarise it with the music of SCP-XXXX, and will not be able to extract any additional information from it. So while the document visually appears the same, no information is able to be obtained from it except for SCP-XXXX's music.
As infection spreads, more and more information is changed. This continues until no other information is left, and the vector has reached its storage capacity15. This results in the total loss of all functionality. Humans and animals are rendered comatose and eventually die as a result of cardiac arrest due to the brain no longer being able to control the pumping of the heart16, computers and machines are bricked and unable to function due to buffer overflow and rewriting of crucial parts, CDs and DVDs are entirely replaced with music from SCP-XXXX.
As any information infected by SCP-XXXX is in itself a vector for SCP-XXXX infection,
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Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: A single copy of SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a low value items storage in Site-69, and any other copies are to be destroyed. Personnel under the effects of SCP-XXXX are to be held in custody for a minimum of 3 days, then released following amnestic treatment.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a hardcover book titled A Thesis on "Cunt" and Other Australian Vernacular. The author is credited as 'Dr. William Jacobs'17.
SCP-XXXX's contents are a thesis based around the evolution and style of the Australian accent. It attempts to explore the use of certain vocabulary commonly attributed to a stereotypical Australian accent, and to what effect it is used in everyday life. It should be noted that SCP-XXXX is by no means an accurate thesis, and relies heavily on stereotypes and plagiarism for its information.
When a person who is capable of speaking English is directly exposed via eye contact (paraphrases, excerpts and reproductions yield no effect) to the contents of SCP-XXXX, their accent begins to morph into that of a stereotypical Australian accent. This effect usually starts lightly, with persons incorporating words typically associated with Australian speech into everyday conversation18. Over the course of approximately 2 weeks19, more and more of the affected person's vocabulary will morph itself until it has fully converted into what would be considered a stereotypical Australian accent. It should be noted that this converted accent is not an accurate portrayal of a real Australian accent, and Australians who hear persons affected by SCP-XXXX will often report that they are "Trying too hard", usually while expressing annoyance and mild offence.
Australian English is non-rhotic; in other words, the /r/ sound does not appear at the end of a syllable or immediately before a consonant. However, a linking /r/ can occur when a word that has a final <r> in the spelling comes before another word that starts with a vowel. An intrusive /r/ may similarly be inserted before a vowel in words that do not have <r> in the spelling in certain environments, namely after the long vowel /oː/ and after word final /ə/.20
Australian English relies heavily on colloquialisms to convey ideas. A standard example of an Australian greeting would be "G'day mate", which roughly translates to "Good day friend" in proper English<sic>. Another phrase commonly associated with Australian slang is the phrase "cunt". While this phrase carries extreme notion in proper English, it is used liberally in Australian English. Of note is how the use of slang encompasses most of Australian English speech, even in formal situations.
Another asserted factor of Australian English (although not speech related) is the tendency to spell words incorrectly. Honor becomes 'honour', color becomes 'colour' and so force. Words will also replace the letter Z with S in situations, so analyze will become 'analyse' and organize will become 'organise'21. This may be as a result of the general laziness and lack of intelligence among Australian people.
Addendum: From the journal of William Jacobs:
January 12th
They accepted my application. They said that even though my SAT was below average, I would be an exception. Senior years were a rough time, but once I get my PhD then I'll be set for life. I just don't know what to write it on. I spent some good money on getting here, so I can't let this opportunity go to waste.
January 13th
I've got it! I've thought of a throwaway topic that I can breeze through. If I just write a theses about something stupid like Australain<sic> accents and why they're so stupid, then I can get a PhD easy.
For now, I've got to start doing research.
January 15th
I've began to collect data for my work. I've got a foolproof plan, if I watch Crocodile Dundee and Steve Irwin over and over, I can get everything I need to know from experience. Combine that with a bit of help from wikipedia and I can get this done by the end of the year
[EXTRANEOUS DATA REMOVED]
June 4th22
I can't sleep. Not until I've finished this. I don't know what to write. I've watched Crocodile Dundee over and over, I can write out the full script at this point. I just know that once I publish this, people will finally show me the respect I deserve.
July 5th
Crocodile Dundee isn't enough. I've got to look deeper. I went online and downloaded a bunch of episodes of Crocodile Hunter. With Steve Irwin and Paul Hogan, I'll have more than enough to complete this work.
The following pages were found separated from the journal.
December 19th
Those bastards! Those fucking bastards rejected my thesis! I put my blood sweat and tears into this! Then they had the audacity to expel me from the academy! Who the hell do they think they are? Everything I'd worked on was worthless!
They're "cunts". They're all worthless cunts. If only they knew how hard I worked on this. If only they were there for every viewing of Crocodile Dundee. If only they saw how much time I put into this, then they wouldn't have rejected it.
December 25th
It's a Christmas miracle of sorts. I awoke this morning to find something of a letter in my box. It didn't have an address, or stamp on it. They seemed to be from a university, but I'm not sure which one since it was in another language (I believe it to be Arabic of some sort).23
سلامونه. موږ ستاسو خپرونه لوستل او د هغې سره بد اغیزمن یو. موږ پوهیږو چې تاسو د خپل پخوانۍ پوهنتون څخه ایستل شوي یاست، مګر موږ د نیک پوهنتون پوهنتون کې به تاسو ډاډ درکړو چې تاسو به له دې ځایه وباسي. موږ پریکړه کړې چې ستاسې منسونه ومني، او ستاسو په دې لیک کې ستاسو د پی ډی ډی سره تړلي وي. د هر چا لپاره چې ستاسو په اړه شک لري، زه تاسو ته ډاډ درکوم چې موږ به ډاډ ترلاسه کړو چې دا سمه ده. تل.
I am not entirely sure what it says, but it did come with an official PhD in it, of that I am sure. I don't know why I didn't go to these guys earlier, they're the only ones who appreciate my talent.
Now if only I could read Arabic.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe Euclid Keter UNKNOWN24
Special Containment Procedures: UNKNOWN25
Description: SCP-XXXX, and by extension: Any information related to SCP-XXXX, does not exist.
Due to the non-existence of SCP-XXXX, assigning an object class has been [DATA EXPUNGED]. In the event that any object class would be assigned to SCP-XXXX, protocol [DATA EXPUNGED] is to take effect. [DATA EXPUNGED]. Information about SCP-XXXX does not exist.
As a result of SCP-XXXX, any information related to it does not exist. Any and all information that relates to SCP-XXXX does not exist. This is no object class assigned to SCP-XXXX, because SCP-XXXX does not exist.
Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX, there are no Special Containment Procedures. In the event that Special Containment Procedures are assigned to SCP-XXXX, they are to not exist.26
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX, containment is impossible. Any information about SCP-XXXX is extremely volatile, and is not to be recorded27.
SCP-XXXX-i is to be contained in an unknown location28. Under no circumstances is SCP-XXXX-i to be accessed. Information related to SCP-XXXX-i is presumed to be impossible to record. SCP-XXXX-i does not exist.
Description: SCP-XXXX, and by extension: Any information related to SCP-XXXX, does not exist.
SCP-XXXX refers to a complex idea and series of information. These ideas are abstract and cannot be expressed. SCP-XXXX is technically impossible to express, due to the nature of its effects. SCP-XXXX's effect renders any information related to itself to become non-existent.
SCP-XXXX-i refers to a container of 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!' margarine. When opened, SCP-XXXX reveals [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-XXXX-i does not exist. SCP-XXXX-i is in an extremely volatile state29. SCP-XXXX-i appears to contain unfathomable amounts of energy.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX, containment is impossible. Foundation Satellites are to continually monitor the Pacific Ocean for signs of SCP-XXXX30. Any reports of people experiencing SCP-XXXX-A events are to be administered Class-C amnestics. In the event SCP-XXXX's exact location is determined, Foundation personnel are to begin tracking immediately.
Under no circumstances are personnel to willingly enter SCP-XXXX.
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to a singular landmass believed to be located in the Pacific Ocean, and any events associated with it31.
Visually, SCP-XXXX resembles an island32 in an approximately circular shape, with the ground consisting entirely of sand and occasional patches of sea grass33. While viewing from the ground the island appears to be extremely small, with most estimates of the diameter ranging from 100m to 30m. The island does contain life, in the form of a variety tropical fish34. Despite the ground being above water, both the sea grass and fish behave as though they are in the water, appearing to sway with non-existent currents and swim through the air. It should be noted that all fish stay within the perimeter of the island.
While on or near SCP-XXXX35, personnel will experience visual impairment consistent with that of a dream. Text will become incomprehensible, vision will appear cloudy, and depth perception will be inaccurate.
The most notable land feature of SCP-XXXX consists of 4 pillars believed to be composed of sandstone, approximately spaced evenly apart. Height of the pillars is currently unknown. On the summit of the pillars consist of a cabin containing a large selection of toys appropriate for children36 and an escape helicopter37 positioned beside it with entrance replacing one of the cabin walls. While on a summit, SCP-XXXX appears to be much larger than usual recollection with estimates of the diameter ranging from 500km to 2000km, and summits appear to be much higher and larger in surface area.
SCP-XXXX appears to be in a constant state of locomotion, and will propel itself in seemingly random directions at any time. There is currently no explainable reason why SCP-XXXX is capable of locomotion. SCP-XXXX is uninhabited.
SCP-XXXX-A is the designation given to any event in which a person enters or arrives on SCP-XXXX. In all but one case38, persons are transported to SCP-XXXX during the REM stage of sleep39. In order for an SCP-XXXX-A event to occur, the designated person must be:
- Unobserved40
- In the REM stage of sleep.
- Having not experienced an SCP-XXXX-A event before, regardless of whether or not it was completed.
If all of these conditions are met, then a person may at any time41 experience an SCP-XXXX-A event.
During an SCP-XXXX-A event, persons will appear on SCP-XXXX42. SCP-XXXX has an unusually high rate of rogue wave activity 97% of recollections mentioning rogue waves. In all cases, personnel were compelled to reach the top of a pillar43 (75% reporting a siren). Upon reaching the top cabin, personnel were compelled to seize as many toys (61% of cases reported seizing toys) as possible and retreat into SC-XXXX-B44. Upon entering the SCP-XXX-B, subjects will immediately be rendered comatose and reappear in their original location with only a vague recollection of the events.
Addendum:
Author's Commentary
This is where I put some commentary on my pieces. Don't worry, this will not be kept on the page once I mainlist the work, instead I'll put it on the comment section. This is purely out of universe, and should be treated only as my thoughts and commentary on a piece.
- This is based on a very real dream I had when I was a young child. I still have vague memories of the dream, and tried to put as many of the events as possible into this piece. It was a good dream, and I wish for everyone to be able to experience it someday.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained within a specially built vault. The dimensions of this vault are largely irrelevant, but it is currently contained within a 3x4x4 metre room. Guards are not to be stationed outside of this containment chamber. Maintenance is largely unnecessary, so repairs are only to be conducted yearly provided no major damage is done.
Any persons who have had contact with SCP-XXXX45 are to have psychological exams and have medication administered as appropriate. Personnel who have had physical contact with SCP-XXXX or tears produced by SCP-XXXX are to be immediately placed under psychological review.
As SCP-XXXX is not mobile, risk of containment breach is extremely unlikely. Chance of theft is also extremely low due to the degenerative effects of the item. In the event recovery is required, Mobile Task Force Eta-10 ("See No Evil") will be tasked with recovery.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a human "corpse", belonging to [REDACTED]. SCP-XXXX is in the fetal position and does not move due to rigor mortis, and most fat and muscle mass has long decayed as a result of atrophy. All bodily functions of SCP-XXXX have ceased activity, with the exception of brain and tear glands46. Brain scans have recorded massive activity in the brain consistent with the feeling of extreme depression, and an almost complete lack of dopamine.
SCP-XXXX has a negative impact on the emotions of persons in its area. While in the open, people within ~40m distance will experience degenerative effects. This will usually begin as mild discomfort or sadness while in the outer area of its effect. As persons move closer to SCP-XXXX47, they will experience more sever feelings of sadness. When at a distance of >3m, emotions will devolve into deep sadness consistent with major depressive episodes. These effects are amplified if SCP-XXXX is visible. The most severe effects and symptoms occur when physical contact is made with SCP-XXXX, and include massive hysteria and complete lack of joy48. 89% of persons who make contact with SCP-XXXX attempt suicide within 1 week, and 100% attempt suicide within 2 weeks.
Anyone who remains within SCP-XXXX's effect radius for long or consistent periods of time49 will begin to develop symptoms similar to those of major depressive disorder. This can be treated early on with counselling and proper medication, but will generally persist for life. Persons who continue to remain within SCP-XXXX's effect radius50 will develop larger and more sever symptoms, consistent with major depressive episodes. This requires intense counselling and medication in order to stave off effects.
Those who remain within SCP-XXXX's effect radius for a total period of time greater than 1 week experience symptoms of sever psychotic depression. The effects of this include hallucinations51 and delusions that others do not like them. Scans have revealed that dopamine production is massively reduced while in this stage. Attempted suicide rates are 93%. There is no known method of reducing persons affected by this stage.
Addendum-1: On the 22/3/
[[include component:image-block name=Typewriter.jpg|caption=SCP-XXXX-3.|width=300px]]
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell, and is to have no less than one (1) security guard stationed outside at all times. SCP-XXXX's containment chamber is to have video surveillance covering all areas to assure that the subject is not producing any SCP-XXXX-4 instances. Should SCP-XXXX be observed creating any SCP-XXXX-4 instances, security guards stationed outside are to immediately and subdue SCP-XXXX. Any instances of SCP-XXXX-4 are to be read. Mobile Task Force Gamma-5 ("Red Herrings") is to be dispatched into the effected area of the SCP-XXXX-4 instance. Content of the instance is to be recorded, and the instance incinerated.
SCP-XXXX is to be given one (1) copy of the latest edition any currently available newspaper every 24 hours. The brand or language of newspaper is so far, not shown to affect SCP-XXXX's creation of SCP-XXXX-4 instances any more than other brands.
Staff are free to enter and interview SCP-XXXX, as SCP-XXXX is very passive, and company has been shown to increase subject's mental well-being. However, any attempts to remove SCP-XXXX-2 or SCP-XXXX-3 from SCP-XXXX's containment chamber will result in immediate disciplinary action.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a Caucasian male 183cm in height, weighing 93kg. SCP-XXXX is always observed wearing a brown suit, grey-black plaid tie, a grey fedora, and black dress shoes, no labels or brand identification has been found on any of these items. SCP-XXXX has been known to speak in rushed and frantic manner, but is general polite in tone.
SCP-XXXX is also in possession of a black, leather suitcase (further referred to as SCP-XXXX-2), SCP-XXXX-2, when opened by anyone other than SCP-XXXX, is observed to be empty, and is functionally identical to marketed suitcases. However, when opened by SCP-XXXX, SCP-XXXX-2 is always observed to contain SCP-XXXX-3, even though SCP-XXXX-3 appears to be too large to fit inside SCP-XXXX-2. No markings indicating a brand have been found on SCP-XXXX-2. Attempting to remove SCP-XXXX-2 from SCP-XXX's containment chamber has always resulted in it appearing 13 hours later in whatever room SCP-XXXX is located in, once it has reappeared, SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties will always manifest, regardless of its exposure to current newspapers.
SCP-XXXX-3 is a Remington brand typewriter, identical to other typewriters of it's make, except that it does not require any ink to function, and always appears to be stocked with paper. Testing has shown that there is no ink stored in SCP-XXXX-3, and is currently unknown how SCP-XXXX-3 is able to apply ink to inserted paper. Additional testing by attempting to dismantle SCP-XXXX-3 resulted in SCP-XXXX's properties manifesting. When used by anyone other than SCP-XXXX, this is SCP-XXXX-3's only remarkable effect. However, when used by SCP-XXXX itself, SCP-XXXX-3 begins to exhibit some additional anomalous properties including the ability to produce:
- Tabs and headliners.
- Black-and white/coloured images.
- [DATA EXPUNGED]
Additionally, SCP-XXXX-3, when removed from SCP-XXXX, will always return to SCP-XXXX-2 within six (6) hours. This will in turn, trigger SCP-XXXX-2 to return to SCP-XXXX immediately, which results in SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties manifesting.
SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties begin to manifest when SCP-XXXX has not been exposed to the latest addition of a newspaper for a period of time (always between 24-37) hours. When SCP-XXXX has not been exposed to the latest addition of a newspaper for the period of time, SCP-XXXX will open SCP-XXXX-2 and retrieve SCP-XXXX-3 from it. SCP-XXXX will then begin typing an instance of SCP-XXXX-4.
Instances of SCP-XXXX-4 always take the form of a 'front page article'. It will always imitate the style of the last newspaper SCP-XXXX had been exposed to before its properties manifested. Instances of SCP-XXXX-4 will always detail incidents of disaster or destruction, and most often feature incidents that are outlandish and should not be possible by known science.
Examples of SCP-XXXX-4 articles include:
- Stampedes of chickens in █████, Italy resulting in █ casualties.
- Car crashes in ██████, China caused by roads turning into wine.
- Violent protests caused by closure of cheese factory in ██████, Turkmenistan resulting in ███ casualties.
- Volcanic eruption in ████████, Australia. Despite there being no active volcanoes in Australia. ██ casualties.
- Tsunami from Lake ██████, Zimbabwe, despite it being impossible for a tsunami to occur. ██ casualties.
- [DATA EXPUNGED]
Upon the completion of an instance of SCP-XXXX-4, SCP-XXXX will remove the instance. SCP-XXXX will then proceed to place SCP-XXXX-3 back into SCP-XXXX-2. SCP-XXXX will then return to whatever task it was doing before its properties manifested. SCP-XXXX-4 instances have three (3) effects.
During the next publication the SCP-XXXX-4 instance imitated, the instance of SCP-XXXX-4 will manifest itself onto the front page of whatever newspaper it was imitating. The date of the incident reported is always two (2) days after the newspaper's publication. Persons reading the affected newspaper do not seem to notice the outlandish content on the front page, and will read it as though such incidents are accepted and normal; many of them expressing disappointment that such an incident occurred again. Despite SCP-XXXX-4 instances never describing the same events. Persons will not realise how unusual the content on these articles are until pointed out by others. This effect only affects the newspaper itself, and not the original instance of SCP-XXXX-4, and people who have seen the original instance appear to be immune to its published version's effects.
Two (2) days after an instance of SCP-XXXX-4 has manifested onto a newspaper, the incident detailed in the instance will affect the location detailed in the instance. Due to the destructive nature of the incidents detailed, unless all citizens in the affected area are evacuated, large scale loss of life is assured. It is currently unknown if SCP-XXXX-4 instances create the incidents they are publishing, or are simply predicting them. Regardless, the incidents have always occurred on the exact time, date and area that was detailed in the reports. Citizens in the affected area will often express fear or surprise from these incidents, even if they had previously read them from SCP-XXXX-4 affected publications.
SCP-XXXX-4 incidents appears to have a total lack of media representation. Radio, internet, television and even newspapers52 will never report on any incidents, regardless of the loss of life or affected area. People witnessing SCP-XXXX-4 incidents will not notice the destruction caused by these incidents, and will never attempt to record or report these incidents to the media or police force.
After an SCP-XXXX-4 incident has occurred, any newspapers with SCP-XXXX-4 manifestations on them will lose said manifestations. With their front pages returning to what was originally intended to be featured there. Viewers of these publications will not notice the change in content, even if they had previously read an SCP-XXXX-4 affected publication. This loss of manifestation will only affect the actual newspapers, photos, drawings or even transcripts of the newspapers remain unaffected, despite this, viewers will still not notice the loss of manifestation has occurred, even when viewing the publication from said means.
SCP-XXXX was first contained on ██/██/████ when reports of knives falling from the sky in ███████ USA were investigated by Foundation personnel including Agent █████, after interviewing one citizen, he revealed that he had read on the [REDACTED] newspaper's front page that an exact incident was reported there, even going as far as to show Agent █████ a picture of the article. The personnel reported their findings back to the Foundation. The author was identified and traced back to ██████, USA. It was revealed that SCP-XXXX did not even work for the newspaper that it wrote the article on. SCP-XXXX was detained by the Foundation and his properties tested.
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX
Interviewer: Dr. S██████
Foreword: SCP-XXXX had been in Foundation custody for seven (7) days. Dr. S██████ was charged with interviewing SCP-XXXX.
<Begin Log>
Dr. S██████: Hello, SCP-XXXX.
SCP-XXXX: Well hello there Doc!
Dr. S██████: May I ask you a few questions?
SCP-XXXX: Why, of course!
Dr. S██████: Alright, (clears throat) why do you create these articles?
SCP-XXXX: Well, ever since I was a child, I'd always dreamed of working for the press. My father used to work for a newspaper company, and I always dreamed of following in his footsteps. Being the first to inform people of danger that's coming, or of moments that would make even the toughest guy cry. Unfortunately, none of the newspaper companies ever hired me, said I wasn't good enough. So when my old man passed and left me his typewriter (SCP-XXXX points to SCP-XXXX-2), I figured, why not just write my own articles? Of course, whenever I see another newspaper, I just don't feel like writing. Always feel like I'm not good enough for them, since they didn't want me.
Dr. S██████: So, your father left you SCP-XXXX-3?
SCP-XXXX: SCP-XXXX-3?
Dr. S██████: The typewriter. Your father left you it?
SCP-2465: That's what I said. When my old man passed age ██, he left me that typewriter. I still remember what he said when he gave it to me; "You always wanted to write for the newspaper, with this, you'll be the best damn reporter the whole world has ever seen". He believed in me till the very end. (Tears are noticeable in SCP-XXXX's eyes)
Dr. S██████: So, why do your articles end up causing untold destruction? Everything you type in your articles ends up costing lives. Do you have control over what you type in your articles?
SCP-XXXX: No, well…I don't think so. I just feel this urge, it's like a withdrawal. I either end up feeling like shit and can't type because of the lucky bastards who got hired by the newspapers, or have to pull out the typewriter and start typing.
Dr. S██████: That doesn't answer my question, do you have control over what you type?
SCP-XXXX: Like I said, I don't know. I pull it out, and as soon I get it…I just…everything goes black. It's like I'm dreaming. No, not a dream…a nightmare. I see these terrible, terrible things. It feels so real, that I have to warn people. I can't help it, you know how you can't control your dreams right? It's like that, I can't stop typing until I've finished. As soon as it's finished, I just wake up.
Dr. S██████: OK, I see. So, you can see what you're typing, but not control it? Well, in that case, I believe this interview is over.
SCP-XXXX: Alright doc, thanks. Look, I don't want to hurt people. This typewriter is a [EXPLICATE] curse! If I could, I would throw that typewriter over into the sea, I've tried doc…but it keeps coming back, and I keep needing to use it. (SCP-XXXX removes SCP-XXXX-3 from SCP-XXXX-2 and begins creating an SCP-XXXX-4 instance)
Dr. S██████: Security! HE'S MAKING ANOTHER [EXPLICATE] ARTICLE!
<End Log>
Closing statement: SCP-XXXX proceeded to create an article detailing the containment breach of SCP-████. Security personnel were warned beforehand and SCP-████ was contained with only ██ casualties.
Note: Due to the possibility of an XK-class scenario occurring from SCP-XXXX's effect, I am requesting that it be upgraded to Keter. Just one forgotten newspaper could spell the end of everything if he writes the wrong thing. -Dr. S██████
Note: Upgrade to Keter denied, SCP-XXXX's current form of containment is fine. It isn't making any new instances, so long as it gets a constant supply of newspapers, then we don't need to worry about an XK-class scenario. -O5-█
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter Neutralised
Special Containment Procedures: The remains of SCP-XXXX are to be closed off from public access. Inspection must take place every day to ensure that there are no SCP-XXXX-2 instances in the wreckage. Should any SCP-XXXX-2 instances be found in the wreckage, classification will immediately elevate to Keter and Procedure 9-OMEGA will be enacted immediately.
The area surrounding SCP-XXXX has been permanently evacuated under the guise of a deadly chemical spill. SCP-XXXX is to remain closed off to the general public, with an electric fence to prevent unauthorised entry. Any unauthorised persons found attempting to enter SCP-XXXX-1 are to be detained immediately, and terminated if SCP-XXXX-2 infection is present. Otherwise persons are to be administered class-A amnestics and released. The area surrounding SCP-XXXX-1 must be inspected constantly for SCP-XXXX-2 instances53. Should the presence of SCP-XXXX-2 instances be confirmed: full lock-down will take place immediately, any SCP-XXXX-2 instances must be destroyed via flamethrowers, and Procedure 9-OMEGA must occur immediately. Every 3 days, an approved neutralisation attempt must occur. Should there be no approved neutralisation attempts be available, or an approved neutralisation attempt end in failure; then Procedure 9-OMEGA must occur instead to attempt to decrease SCP-XXXX-2 population.
SCP-XXXX-2 instances are hostile and parasitic, so any personnel performing Procedure 9-OMEGA or any other approved neutralisation attempt must be kept in quarantine for no less than 7 days to ensure they contain no SCP-XXXX-2 instances. Should any personnel be found containing SCP-XXXX-2 instances, they are to be immediately terminated by incineration54. Anyone found entering SCP-XXXX-1 without proper authorisation is to be declared dead, and no recovery attempts are to be made.
Any writing by SCP-XXXX-2 instances may not be viewed for longer than 10 minutes and psychological counseling must be provided to anyone who has read any writing.
- MTF Beta-41 ("Arachnophobia") is to be readied outside SCP-XXXX-1; armed with flamethrowers
- SCP-XXXX-1 is to be doused in napalm, whether by aerial delivery or from at least 7 fire-hoses
- MTF Beta-41 ("Arachnophobia") is to begin using their flamethrowers to neutralise any SCP-XXXX-2 instances outside SCP-XXXX-1
- Once SCP-XXXX-1 has been doused in napalm, MTF Beta-41 ("Arachnophobia") is to approach SCP-XXXX-1 and pumping chlorine gas into SCP-XXXX-1
- After 10 minutes, if no SCP-XXXX-2 instances are observed, Procedure 9-OMEGA is to be declared a success. If SCP-XXXX-2 instances are observed outside SCP-XXXX-1 MTF Beta-41 ("Arachnophobia") is to begin pumping chlorine gas into SCP-XXXX-1, checking for SCP-XXXX-2 instances outside of SCP-XXXX-1 every 10 minutes until no more SCP-XXXX-2 instances are observed outside of SCP-XXXX-1
Any personnel tasked with inspecting SCP-XXXX-1 are to be equipped with the following:
- 1 fully body, type 1/type A hazmat suit. Personnel must also wear a full body rubber suit underneath the hazmat suit
- 1 flamethrower, equipped with 20 minutes of fuel
- 1 industrial flashlight, with a battery capacity of at least 8 hours. At least 3 additional 8 hour batteries must be provided
- 1 fire-axe
- 200 metres of steel wire rope
- 1 digital camera capable of storing 10GB of photographs
Personnel are to maintain radio contact, and must be sent in groups of at least 5. Should any personal fail to report, a rescue attempt may be made by their group members. Should 1 hour pass with personnel failing to report, they are to be declared dead and no further rescue attempts are to be made.
Laboratory-XXXX, which is located underground in Site-47, currently houses the last known surviving instances of SCP-XXXX-2 for the purposes of research. Laboratory-XXXX is to be constantly guarded and containing the following precautions:
- Any entrances, be they doors or hallways, must consist of a full airlock system complete with decontamination gas55. In the case of the room containing the largest group of SCP-XXXX-2 instances56, this is to be upgraded to 3 full airlock systems complete with decontamination gas.
- Power is to be supplied via the Site-47 generator. A minimum of 5 backup generators are to be kept in case of power failure. Maintenance of these backup generators is to occur bi-weekly. Maintenance of the main generator is to follow the standard maintenance schedule as agreed upon by the site-director.
- 2 incinerators for the purpose of destroying contaminated items/personnel. One is to be located in the Hazmat storage room, while the other is to be located in the quarantine room.
- A minimum of 4 on site flamethrowers equipped with 5 minutes of fuel. These flamethrowers are only to be used by certified personnel, unless otherwise stated.
- A minimum of 20 type 1/type A Hazmat suits and full body rubber suits are to be located at the entrance to Laboratory-XXXX, after passing through the specially designed airlock system for this entrance57. These suits are to be seized and decontaminated. Any self-contained breathing apparatuses found to contain SCP-XXXX-2 instances are to be incinerated, and personnel wearing them immediately quarantined.
- Daily maintenance for Laboratory-XXXX-ALPHA is to be conducted by specially built drones. Drones are designed to be able to repair cracks, release mist into the air, and conduct other small-scale repairs. In the case of extreme overpopulation, drones are equipped with a flamethrower for the purpose of destroying large populations. Navigation is controlled remotely by trained personnel located outside of Laboratory-XXXX. Drones use sonar and special image forming technology for the purpose of navigation by operators. While drones are equipped with a camera, Level 4 authorisation is required before use.
- Laboratory-XXXX-ALPHA and all other components of Laboratory-XXXX are to be supplied oxygen by specially designed filter systems. These systems are to undergo maintenance daily, and replaced monthly.
Access to Laboratory-XXXX is reserved only for Level 3 and above personnel. All personnel attempting to access Laboratory-XXXX must submit to full psychological evaluation and quarantine upon entering and leaving. Type 1/type A Hazmat suits with a full body rubber suit underneath must be worn at all times while inside Laboratory-XXXX.
Description: SCP-XXXX consists of two components; these being SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2.
SCP-XXXX-1 is an abandoned hospital located in [REDACTED], Moldova. SCP-XXXX-1 is in a dilapidated state due to it being abandoned in ███, and the damage caused by 9-OMEGA. However, the hospital is completely covered in webs due to SCP-XXXX-2. SCP-XXXX-1's only anomalous property is its temperature; which sits at a consistent -7°C. Attempts to significantly alter this temperature have so far proved unfruitful. SCP-XXXX-1 is the native habitat of SCP-XXXX-2.
SCP-XXXX-2 is a species of spider resembling the latrodectus58 genus. SCP-XXXX-2 instances are venomous, and their venom is a latrotoxin59. SCP-XXXX-2 instances are are able to resist the -7°C temperature of SCP-XXXX-1 with no negative effects. However, aside from this, they are not particularly hardy, and can be squashed like any other non-anomalous spider. Due to the extreme population of SCP-XXXX-2 instances however; flamethrowers are best advised as the method of terminating instances. Due to sexual dimorphism, females are significantly larger than their male counterparts.
SCP-XXXX-2 instances' diet consists mostly of insects. However, they have also been observed to consume small lizards, other spiders, mice, small birds. In cases where other food is not available, SCP-XXXX-2 instances will consume each other.
SCP-XXXX-2 instances' reproduction methods are identical to those of a faculative parasite60. While SCP-XXXX-2 instances are able to reproduce much like a normal spider of the latrodectus genus; their preferred method of reproduction is infection of mammals via their fertilised eggs. SCP-XXXX-2 instances are able to release their eggs into the air, with are inhaled by mammals causing SCP-XXXX-2 infection. These eggs can remain dormant for up to 3 years before hatching; however they have been observed to hatch 30 minutes after infection at their fastest. SCP-XXXX-2 instances have also been observed infecting cadavers. SCP-XXXX-2 instances will commonly die 1 hour after successfully laying their eggs. Sexual cannibalism of the male has been observed in 100% of cases, to the point where other SCP-XXXX-2 instances61 will physically restrain males attempting to escape. This behaviour is hypothesised to be be a result of pheromones, though this has not been confirmed.
After eggs inside of the host have hatched; SCP-XXXX-2 instances will attack the lungs while lining them with web. This action typically ends in asphyxiation to the host. SCP-XXXX-2 instances can live inside of a cadaver for up to 3 years, and reach sexual maturity inside of the cadaver. After this period, the spiders will erupt from the mouth and nose; often numbering in the thousands. These spiders with immediately spread out, and attempt to find suitable locations inside SCP-XXXX-1.
SCP-XXXX-2 instances are hostile, and will attempt to attack any living personnel. To locate suitable hosts, SCP-XXXX-2 instances build web systems; these systems are linked with other instances' webs, giving all SCP-XXXX-2 instances complete knowledge of moving organisms in contact with webs. These webs are identical to those of other spiders in the latrodectus genus in basic structure. Additionally, webs constructed by SCP-XXXX-2 instances are almost always observed to contain writing. This writing varies in language, and most commonly includes Romanian, Russian, German, English and Chinese however additional languages have been found including [REDACTED]. Words written on these webs are often pleas for help, and have a cognitohazardous effect.
Personnel viewing, whether directly or by photo/video, writing created by SCP-XXXX-2 instances will generally express deep anxiety. After approximately 20 minutes of viewing, subjects will begin to act irrationally, often putting themselves and others at risk. This will eventually descend into hysteria and paranoia, usually resulting in SCP-XXXX-2 infection, and the death of the host.
SCP-XXXX-2 instances are regularly observed attempting to leave SCP-XXXX-162 via doors, windows and even ventilation systems. SCP-XXXX-2 instances successfully leaving SCP-XXXX-1 will immediately seek a suitable host; and will often release their eggs into the air attempting to infect any suitable hosts. Hosts will normally not notice this infection, and will often return to their homes or habitats. These eggs behave the same as those found in SCP-XXXX-1; following the same life cycle.
Recovery: SCP-XXXX was first made aware to the Foundation when buried Foundation Agents noticed spider webs and spiders resembling the latrodectus genus, with visible words observed on these webs. While this was reported to the Foundation, its classification as an SCP was withheld due to lack of information. It was not until [DATA EXPUNGED] which resulted in ███ casualties that SCP-XXXX's full effects were noticed. █ individuals were successfully evacuated and placed in custody. Approximately ██ hours later, the individuals expired. SCP-XXXX-2 instances began crawling out of the expired individuals' mouth, nose and [REDACTED]. Full lock down was put in place, and all SCP-XXXX-2 instances were successfully terminated via flooding the site with chlorine gas.
Commissioned Agents: MTF Beta-41 ("Arachnophobia"); consisting of Commander J█████, Agent P███, Agent T████, Agent L███ and Agent G█████
Supervisor: Dr. F████
Foreword: MTF Beta-41 was created to address the increasing threat of SCP-XXXX. It is responsible for carrying Procedure 9-OMEGA. MTF Beta-41 was tasked with carrying out an exploration attempt in order to gain a better understanding of the capabilities and threat of SCP-XXXX. They were equipped with flashlights, food surplus, a machete, and radio systems. Dr. F████ has been commissioned to supervise the exploration attempt.
<Begin Log>
00:00:00 Dr. F█████: Alright, radio check. Do you copy?
00:00:06 Agent G█████: This is Agent G█████, I hear you loud and clear.
00:00:11 Commander J█████: This is Commander J█████, I'm all good.
00:00:16 Agent P███: This is Agent P███. Everything is fine on my end.
00:00:21 Agent L███: Agent L███, I've got everything working.
00:00:42 Dr. F████: Agent T████, can you hear me? Please respond.
00:01:02 Dr. F████: Agent T████. Respond. Now.
00:01:14 Commander J█████: This is Commander J█████, Agent T████'s radio is fucked. Requesting a replacement on his behalf.
00:01:19 Dr. F████: Got it. We're getting a new radio for him.
00:03:37 Dr. F████: Alright, this radio should be working. Agent T████, do you copy?
00:03:42 Agent T████: Agent T████ here. Yeah. This one is working fine.
00:04:09 Dr. F████: Alright team. Please proceed into SCP-XXXX-1.
00:04:23 Commander J█████: Alright. We're moving in.
00:04:32 Dr. F████: OK. Please describe your surroundings.
00:05:03 Agent P███: This is fucked man. The whole place is covered with webs. The walls, floors, equipment, everything.
00:05:25 Dr. F████: Noted. I'm going to ask you to see if you can find a patient room.
00:07:07 Agent G█████: We've found one. This is fucked. So, so fucked.
00:07:30 Agent L███: Doc. There's a body in here. Well, I think there is.
00:07:38 Dr. F████: You mind explaining?
00:07:51 Agent L███: Well, it's covered in webs. Completely covered in webs. I can't actually see the body, just a body shaped lump covered in webs.
00:08:46 Dr. F████: L███, you mind cutting the webs? To see what's inside.
00:09:10 Agent L███: No way. Fuck that. This place is making me uneasy as it is.
00:09:26 Dr. F████: I'm not going to force you. Team, keep looking around.
00:09:55 Agent P███: Yo. Guys, can you see this?
00:10:28 Agent T████: You talking about the writing? I can see it. This place is fucked.
00:10:47 Dr. F████: Writing? You mind explaining?
00:11:06 Agent P███: The webs, they're covered in writing. I can see English, Russian, [REDACTED], Romanian.
00:11:18 Dr. F████: Can you can me what they say?
00:11:38 Agent J█████: They seem like…cries for help. Fuck, this is so messed up. This one says "Help me", this one says "I'm scared". Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, this is so fucked up.
00:12:02 Dr. F████: We'll take note of that.
[EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE REMOVED]
00:26:52 Commander J█████: Alright team. I think it's about time we split up and cover more ground. You guys copy?
00:27:24 Agent G█████: Fuck you. This place is crazy as it is and you want us to split up? When I get out of here I'm going to fucking kick your teeth in.
00:27:37 Dr. F████: Commander J█████, do not split up. That is an order.
00:28:09 Commander J█████: Trust me on this one, F████. We've got this covered. Team, get moving.
00:28:39 Agent L███: Fine. We'll fucking move. You're a real piece of shit, J█████. You know that?
00:28:47 Dr. F████: L███, cut the crap and get moving.
00:28:51 Agent G█████: You too, F████? Fuck you.
00:29:24 Commander J█████: Everyone just shut the fuck up and get moving! Report when you come across anything worth whining about.
00:30:19 Dr. F████: Commander, you're leaning on disciplinary action right now. Cut the crap and keep moving.
00:41:29 Agent T████: Alright, I'm in what appears to be an operation room. This whole place is just covered in webs. I can see three bodies.
00:41:40 Commander J█████: Woopty doo. There are dead bodies everywhere. Fucking idiot.
00:41:51 Agent T████: Go fuck yourself you! You're a massive cunt, you know that?
00:41:04 Dr. F████: T████, watch your words.
00:41:10 Agent T████: Fuck you too. J█████ is a cunt and you all know it. I can say whatever the fuck I want.
00:41:19 Commander J█████: You know what. I hope you fucking die here. You're a waste of fucking-
00:41:30 Agent L███: Will you all shut the fuck up?! Jesus Christ. We've got a mission to complete!
00:41:53 Commander J█████: Get fucked, L███!
00:42:09 Agent G█████: Guys! Quit it. I think something fucked is going on.
00:42:17 Agent L███: Yeah. You're right. We need to calm down. I'm sorry, J█████.
00:42:24 Commander J█████: I'm sorry too, I don't know why I lashed out like that. Something is wrong with this fucking place.
00:42:35 Dr. F████: I'm starting to think there might be a cognitohazard going on. You guys need to get out, now!
00:42:47 Commander J█████: The Doc has a point. Everyone, get the fuck out!
00:43:09 Agent L███: Commander's orders. Everyone, check in and get the fuck out!
00:43:16 Agent G█████: G█████ is here.
00:43:24 Agent T████: Agent T████, reporting.
00:43:58 Commander J█████: Alright, we just need P███. P███ you here?
00:48:02 Dr. F████: Agent P███. Respond!
00:53:29 Commander J█████: P███ where the fuck are you?!
00:56:00 Dr. F████: God dammit. OK team, you need to get out of here.
00:56:09 Commander J█████: We are not leaving him! Everyone, start looking for P███ right now!
00:56:17 Dr. F████: Commander, you don't have time for this. We need you out now!
00:56:28 Agent T████: I think I saw him head West when we split up. Everyone, head West!
[EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE REMOVED]
02:09:10 Commander J█████: Team, I've found P███. You're not going to like this.
02:09:46 Dr. F████: Commander, what's P███'s status?
02:10:03 Commander J█████: He's dead. He's fucking dead! There are fucking spiders all over him. Why?! Why the fuck is this happening?!
02:10:37 Agent G█████: Jesus Christ. Doc, I'm with the Commander and I can confirm that P███ is dead. Fucking dead. Fuck.
02:11:56 Agent T████: Commander, where are you guys?
02:12:08 Commander J█████: We're in the far room to the left.
02:12:16 Agent T████: That isn't fucking helping. Where exactly are you fucks.
02:12:29 Agent G█████: T████ has a point. Where the fuck are we? Oh God no!
02:12:37 Commander J█████: Fuck! Holy shit! Someone fucking help us!
02:12:51 Dr. F████: J█████, G█████! What the fuck is going on?!
02:13:11 Commander J█████: Doc, there are fucking spiders bursting out of P███! Shit! They're fucking on me! Get these fucking things off me!
02:13:20 Agent G█████: Fuck! Fuck! Get out of my mouth! I can't fucking breath!
02:12:28 Dr. F████: Guys! Shit! What is fucking happening?!
02:12:35 Agent T████: G█████! I'm gonna find you! Just tell me-[The sound of snapping wood is heard]
02:12:42 Agent G█████: God fucking help me! I…I…fuck!
02:13:31 Agent T████: My leg! Doc, the floor fucking gave way! I think my leg is fucked! Shit, Doc the fucking spiders are crawling on me! Fuck!
02:13:46 Dr. F████: Team! Team respond! Fucking say something!
[EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE REMOVED]03:21:48 Dr. F████: It's been more than an hour since the team last responded. Consider this exploration attempt a failure. I need a fucking drink.
<End Log, [03:21:53]>
Closing Statement: Following the complete elimination of MTF Beta-41 ("Arachnophobia") caused by SCP-XXXX; personnel tasked with exploring SCP-XXXX-1 are now equipped with more precautions to minimise fatalities. While these precautions have decreased deaths by ██%, MTF Beta-41 still suffers from an average of █ deaths per exploration attempt. Dr. F████ was found unconscious due to alcohol poisoning.
Addendum: Level 3 clearance required to access details on Operation Delta-XXXX. [IN OTHER WORDS, LOOK IN THE OTHER TAB!]
Interviewed: Dr Mario Colombo
Interviewer: Site-Director [REDACTED]
Foreword: Interview conducted 3 weeks before execution of Operation Delta-XXXX.
<Begin Log>
00:00:03 Director: Take a seat Mario, I'll get straight to the point.
00:00:11 Mario: I'm sure you will. [Mario is seen pulling out a pack of cigarettes] You mind if I smoke?
00:00:32 Director: Go ahead.
00:00:47 [Mario is seen lighting cigarette]
00:01:02 Mario: So, what do you want?
00:01:09 Director: Firstly, for the sake of clarity; please inform me of your role in the Foundation.
00:01:22 Mario: The explosives department. I'm head of the explosives department. Whenever shit needs to be blown up, they call on my boys.
00:01:52 Director: [Observed looking at file] Everything checks out. I assume that you and your team are capable?
00:02:26 Mario: Capable of what?
00:02:41 Director: Let me ask you another question. Tell me, Mario. Have you heard of SCP-XXXX?
00:03:09 Mario: Yes [Mario is seen smothering a cigarette into an ash tray]. I do believe I have…
The helicopter arrived inside a secure location, with the hospital clearly in view, and the sun rising behind them. By now, 9-OMEGA had already begun. The liquid seeping out of the hoses and on to the hospital ignited, obscuring the building in smoke and flames. Mario watched as the men turned off the napalm hoses and carry three larger ones in their place. They forced the hoses through the windows of the still burning building, while another group of men began to turn large valves. The flames died out and their smoke replaced with a yellow-green fog that forced its way into the building.
The team quickly fell back as a horde of black spiders pooled out of the building through every opening possible. In an instant, the team began to blast their flamethrowers towards the mass. Mario turned towards one of the supervisors and questioned them about the process.
"Sir, would you mind explaining what the hell is going on?"
"Beta-41 are currently filling the building with chlorine gas, and killing any SCP-XXXX-2 instances that escape" a strangely feminine voice responded "By the way, it's 'ma'am'."
"Apologies, everyone looks the same in these hazmat suits." Mario replied "I assume you're in charge of my mission brief?"
"That would be correct, I'm Sergeant Alex Williams. Once Beta-41 has finished 9-OMEGA we will begin the planning."
The two of them observed the building as 9-OMEGA continued. It seemed like an assembly line in execution. Beta-41 pumped the building with gas, a mass of spiders pooled out, Beta-41 unleashed their flamethrowers on the mass, the swarm stopped, Beta-41 pumped the building with gas, and so on. The sun was already at its highest point by the time the process was deemed a success. Beta-41 dragged the hoses out of the windows and wound them back into a coil. "This is Commander Grey of Beta-41, 9-OMEGA has been a success at 1204 hours. Over." A radio blurted out. "This is Sergeant Alex, pack up the equipment and begin quarantine procedures. Over."
"I assume we will begin the mission brief now?" Mario inquired.
"Yes."
00:05:23 Director: [Director is observed to gesture for a cigarette] Mind if I have one?
00:05:31 [Mario is observed to pass and light a cigarette to Director]
00:05:46 Director: Cheers. Now then, let's get straight to the point.
00:05:57 Mario: So, what do you want my team to do with SCP-XXXX?
00:06:10 Director: Isn't it obvious? [Slight chuckle is heard] I want you and your team to blow it up.
00:06:18 Mario: I figured as much. You don't become head of explosives department by brushing kittens for a living. [Mario is observed pulling out another cigarette and lighting it] Are you sure this is safe?
00:06:41 Director: This is a hospital full of parasitic spiders who suffocate people to death and line their webs with writing that drives teams to insanity. No, it is not safe.
00:07:00 Mario: At least you're honest about it. But why did you drag me here on the guise of a mission, only to inform me that the mission wasn't safe and couldn't be done?
00:07:26 Director: I said it wasn't safe. Not that it couldn't be done. Your team have collectively centuries of training between them. On your own you could probably complete this. Trust me, Mario. If anyone can blow this shithole off the face of the planet, it will be you and your team.
00:08:37 Mario: Well Sir, when do we leave?
00:09:01 Director: You have three weeks.
<End log>
Overview of Drone unit C56-XXXX:
C56-XXXX was designed specifically for the entering of SCP-XXXX-1. C56-XXXX is modelled after the units used for the maintenance of Laboratory-XXXX-ALPHA. C56-XXXX has also been equipped with the following:
- A 50 Newton battering ram, designed to break down doors to reach the centre of SCP-XXXX-1.
- An additional control tower, allowing for remote control up to 30km.
- Hydraulic lifts allowing for the re-positioning of drone.
- Clamps designed for carrying of payload.
Drone unit C56-XXXX will carry 100kg of dynamite. 5 Drone units will be sent into SCP-XXXX-1, each with a specific destination. Drones will be piloted by Dr Mario's Explosives Team, located in the on-site bunker. Once all payloads have detonated, Beta-41 will begin procedure 9-OMEGA. Estimated success rate: 2.96%.
"Mario, follow me." Alex ushered Mario towards a bunker, where other identical bodies clad in hazmat suits were glaring at screens. Mario took a seat on the long table, and observed the frantic rustle of scientists monitoring the accursed building. Alex took a seat beside Mario, at the head of the long table.
"You ever been in the building?"
"No. I'm not allowed on exploration attempts. 'Too valuable to risk losing' they say. I just end up monitoring the radio logs." Alex grabbed a CD and a CD-player. "I think you should hear what goes on in there." Mario leaned in and the CD player started.
"Jesus Christ! William! Do not remove your head! WILLIAM! FUCK!" Mario shuddered as the sound of breaking plastic and the screams of men filled the recording. "DOC! WILLIAM JUST SMASHED HIS FUCKING SUIT! THERE ARE SPIDERS CRAWLING INTO HIS-" The audio cut out, startling Mario.
"Is it finished?" Mario inquired. "No, keep listening." 5 minutes later, the audio resumed to the sound of sobbing. "Please…doc…I wasn't cut out for this. Please…get me out of here." A stern voice replied "Agent Harvey, I'm afraid that we are unable to conduct a rescue mission. Cutting communications in five seconds." "No, please. Wait! DON'T LEAVE M-" the feed ended. Mario could not muster the strength to speak on the recording.
"This is why we called you here, Mario. For the sake of every life wasted to this fucking building." Alex mumbled, her voice clearly distressed about the situation. The sombre moment was interrupted by the chopping sound of a helicopter landing. "That would be the rest of the crew, Alex. I'll bring them in."
In order to contain the destruction that will no doubt be caused by Operation Delta-XXXX; an explosive resistant dome has been constructed completely cover SCP-XXXX-1. This dome is made of a combination of steel and acrylic glass.
The dome will be transported to Moldova from Germany, and assembled on site around SCP-XXXX-1. Testing has ensured that the dome is capable of sustaining damage from detonations both inside and outside of it. It has a mass of over 500,000kg."This dome has cost us over $13 million, but is the best chance of containing the damage caused by Operation Delta-XXXX" -Site Director [REDACTED]
Mario returned into the bunker, trailed by 10 other men. They took their places on the table, and awaited the mission briefing. Alex was the first to break the silence. "Welcome, Explosives Department. In a minute our drones will arrive, and we will go through their functions and use in Operation Delta-XXXX. Do you have any questions?"
"Are we allowed to remove these suits?" One of the members meekly replied. "I'm afraid not, Hazmat suits must be worn at all-" Alex was cut off by a radio message; "This is Beta-41, the drones have arrived. Someone let them in." Alex assured the Department that she would not be long, and left for the bunker entrance.
It was only a minute before Alex returned to her place at the table, and introduced the group to their new toys. "These, are our five C56-XXXX units." Alex announced while passing a sheet of paper to everyone at the table. "All information about them can be found here. I will brief you on the mission once you have finished reading."
Once the Department had all read, re-read, and re-re-read the sheet, Alex began the mission brief. "Ladies and gentlemen, you have been brought down here for the purpose of conducting Operation Delta-XXXX. Your objective is simple: You will pilot your respective drones to pre-marked locations inside SCP-XXXX-1. Once inside, you are to alert me via radio that you have reached your destination. While you are piloting the drones, our helicopters will lower the dome over the building. Then, you are to wait for me to deliver the all clear. Once the all clear has been delivered, you are to press this button, detonating the dynamite charges inside the drones, and hopefully, destroying SCP-XXXX." Alex paused for a minute, then continued; "Are we all clear?" A unanimous yes erupted from the crowd. "Very well, get some sleep. Tomorrow at 1400 hours we will begin."
From the journal of David ██████, sole survivor of Exploration Attempt-██;
Every time I blink, I see the writing on the walls. Every silence, the screams of my colleagues. I can't sleep. I can barely think.Shrink tells me it's a cognitohazard. That people who look at the writing righting writing for too long go nuts. I wonder how many people had to die before they came to that conclusion? Every piece is burned into my mind. I only speak English, but I understood what every single word on those fucking webs said.
They were cries for help. The lott lot of them. All of them begging to be free. Begging for helpp help. And we couldnt couldn't. We just had to snap some photos and get the fuck out.
I need to help them. I don't know what to do I think I know what to do. I can see spiders in every corner. Under my table. But they are none.
Tomorow Tomorrow they send in another group to that fucking hospital. They will see my frend friends cries for help in the webs.
and i know that there their cries will end up on the wall
just like my team [ILLEGIBLE]
Mario awoke in a cold sweat. "Just a nightmare, just a fucking nightmare." He whispered to himself. Since he heard the recording Alex played, he couldn't stop thinking about it. "Your deaths will not be in vain," he told himself "tomorrow, we blow this thing to smithereens."
Tomorrow came earlier than expected. The sound of an alarm clock brought everyone out of their bunk-beds. Mario ate the protein bar that would be breakfast and placed his rubber suit on, followed by the heavy hazmat suit. And followed his comrades into the main hall.
"Good morning people. We have approximately five hours before Operation Delta-XXXX." Alex chirped. "Until then, practice piloting those drones."
Mario sat with his co-pilot and began acting out simple motions for the drone. Accelerating, decelerating, steering. After they were confident in their skills, they began more advance maneuvers. Using the hydraulic press to re-position, using the battering ram to knock over blocks they had stacked. "It's just like driving a toy car." the co-pilot remarked to Mario, and he could not help but agree.
Time passed as the two mastered every technique the drones were capable of. Eventually, they took their drone out of their room and into the main room. "This is our turf Sir!" A voice shouted towards them, "We can't just let you drive here!"
Mario turned to his co-pilot "These guys think they can keep us off our road!" Mario accelerated their drone towards the enemy "You'll have to ram us off!"
Tension was high, as the two drones began to charge into each other. Eventually, they smashed into one-another with a loud thud. Cheers and excitement filled the room as the two teams attempted to line up the perfect shot with their rams. The two drones circled, neither wanting to make the first move. Eventually, Mario ceased the circling and accelerated his drone into the other, smashing the ram into the side and knocking it over. Cheers erupted as the two walked over to the scene. After re-positioning their drones, the four shook hands and laughed.
"As invigorating as that performance was, I'm afraid there will be no demolition durbies during Operation Delta-XXXX." Alex interrupted "Furthermore, the risk of damaging these drones is too great for this." The four immediately apologised, and piloted their drones to separate ends of the room.
It was another 3 hours before the radios in their suits made any noises. "All personnel involved in Operation Delta-XXXX, please proceed to the main room immediately."
DATE: 7/11/2001
FROM: Dr. Muhammad Qalat <noitadnuof.pcs|talaqm#noitadnuof.pcs|talaqm>
TO: Site Director Nduhuura <noitadnuof.pcs|aruuhudnds#noitadnuof.pcs|aruuhudnds>
SUBJECT: Study of SCP-XXXX-2
Following the sharp decline in effectiveness of 9-OMEGA (It is now taking upwards of 5 hours for no SCP-XXXX-2 instances to be sited trying to leave SCP-XXXX-1), I'm starting to think that we're missing something. Considering how often we shower this thing in napalm, we're not seeing any real results. Something is wrong. No animals should be able to repopulate this quickly, not even ones that are directly anomalous.
As you know, I have been fascinated with these things. Yet we are never able to properly study them, charred ash made of spiders does not tell us anything about how these things work. Or why they are able to repopulate so quickly.
So I have a proposal. Some other researches and I would like for the next expedition attempt to bring us back some SCP-XXXX-2 instances, for us to study and research. I can assure you that there will be no containment breaches, and that the knowledge gained from this will be valuable in attempting to neutralise SCP-XXXX. Please get back to me with a reply.
The 11 readied themselves at the long table, Alex watching them all from her place at the head. "Everyone, the dome has arrived from Germany." Alex started "Once the doors open, you are to pilot your respective drones and enter SCP-XXXX-1. Your view inside will be provided by the sonar technology these drones are equipped with. The coordinates of your destination will also be provided." The team nodded affirmatively, prompting Alex to continue her monologue. "Your drones are carrying 75kg of dynamite, and once you activate the explosives the building, and all of the horrors inside of it, should be wiped out." Alex waited for the team to nod in agreement, and then sent them on their way.
The team began to discuss the mission among themselves. Mario noticed an aura of tension, yet also excitement as the team were given their routes. Eventually, the doors slowly opened revealing the outside world to everyone. Alex wished them luck, and sent them on their way.
The drones scurried out of the door and into open field. Forming an orderly line towards the hospital. The drones themselves were met with waves and cheers from those outside, all eager to see the building fall to shreds. Eventually they reached it. The charred corpse of a building loomed about the drones, yet they pressed on with bravery. Mario had taken the lead, and readied his ram to knock the door open. With a quick swing, it gave way, exposing the gloomy inside ripe for the drones to traverse. One by one, they slugged through the door. The crank of the door being closed by Beta-41 was one of the first sounds that the pilots heard.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX specimens are to be contained in a greenhouse fitted with a security camera on Site-44. Staff are free to enter the greenhouse and view SCP-XXXX specimens during any break time, though care must be taken to avoid injury. These privileges are to be revoked if any staff are found attempting to smuggle seeds outside of the greenhouse. SCP-XXXX specimens are to be watered on a bi-weekly basis using a solution of crude oil. State of said oil does not matter, and the Foundation is currently obtaining it from oil spills. If crude oil is not available, motor oil will suffice. Any SCP-XXXX specimens found outside of containment are to be destroyed under the guise of a modern art piece related to logging.
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to a species of trees. Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX, no relatives have been discovered. Specimens are entirely constructed out of pieces of rusted scrap metal, often featuring a hollow pipe for a trunk and pieces of shredded steel for leaves. Specimens appear to be evergreen, however they still may lose leaves from time to time. These leaves may pose a hazard for passing humans or animals. Metal taken from the trees functions the same as regular metal, but must be melted down in order to remove rust.
The rust contained on specimens serves as pollen. Specimens will flake off rust during a breeze and will land within empty seed pods63.These seeds are then dropped onto the ground from the seed pods, and will usually begin germinating after 3 months. Seeds themselves resemble nuts and bolts. SCP-XXXX specimens usually mature at around 13 years, but their upper life span is unknown. Specimens will usually grow to a height of three (3) meters, but specimens have been observed growing as high as five (5) meters.
Due to SCP-XXXX specimens not containing any chlorophyll, they do not practice photosynthesis. Their main method of absorbing nutrition is from the ground, where metals and minerals are pulled up from the earth using small magnetic baubles contained within the trunk. These metals are believed to be used in the production of new leaves and branches, but it is not currently confirmed. New branches are sprouted with leaves attached, and appear to be pushed out of the hollow trunk. They also appear to absorb oil to lubricate the inside, causing a faster rate of growth.
Addendum: SCP-XXXX was first discovered in 20██ on a Foundation dump in █████, Australia, where ██ specimens were located during a training operation. At first believed to be simple sculptures, they were ignored. During the team's return to the area, they noticed small metal pipes sticking out of the ground in the vicinity. The pipes were monitored and scientists sent to investigate. The pipes were eventually observed to be growing in height, and after being linked to the sculptures, were classified as an SCP.
Records of the observations conducted on specimens of SCP-XXXX:
Test A - 02/6/20██
Subject: SCP-XXXX specimen, henceforth referred to as SCP-XXXX-1
Procedure: Specimen's height is to be monitored over a period of 12 months. Height at the time was 0.12cm.
Results: Specimen was observed to increase in height from 0.12cm to 112cm.
Analysis: SCP-XXXX clearly are increasing in height, I suggest we continue studying these things. If these things are growing like we think they are, then this could be a source of potentially unlimited metal. -Dr. S█████
Test B - 07/8/20██
Subject: SCP-XXXX-1
Procedure: SCP-XXXX-1 is to be monitored over a period of 6 months. Height at the time was 137cm.
Results: SCP-XXXX-1 height increased from 137cm to 185cm. Pieces of scrap metal were observed to be pushed out of the top of the specimen's "trunk".
Analysis: These pieces of scrap metal are most likely branches, as they have been observed on other specimens too. I suggest we continue observations and see. Dr. S█████
Test C - 26/2/20██
Subject: SCP-XXXX-1
Procedure: Specimen is to be monitored over a period of 12 months. Height at the time was 185cm.
Results: SCP-XXXX1 height increased from 185cm to 327cm. Large pieces of scrap metal have been pushed out of specimen's trunk and are functioning as branches. Certain branches are observed to have rusted cans hanging off of them.
Analysis: These cans have been observed to function as seed pods, as shown from other SCP-XXXX specimens. I suggest we attempt to find out how SCP-XXXX specimens reproduce. Dr. S█████
Test D - 14/12/20██
Subject: SCP-XXXX specimen hereafter referred to as SCP-XXXX-2.
Procedure: SCP-XXXX-2 is to be exposed to a branch measuring at 10cm length from SCP-XXXX-1 in an attempt to produce seeds by placing said piece of metal inside of a seed pod on SCP-XXXX-2.
Results: Seed pod is observed to drop off of SCP-XXXX-2. No seeds are found inside.
Analysis: Well that didn't work. Perhaps the piece was too heavy, maybe if we just use a smaller shard. Dr. S█████
Test E - 16/2/20██
Subject: SCP-XXXX-2
Procedure: SCP-XXXX-2 is to be exposed to a cut shard measuring at 2cm length from SCP-XXXX-1 in an attempt to produce seeds by placing said piece of metal inside of a seed pod on SCP-XXXX-2.
Results: After 6 months of no activity from seed pod, testing was canceled. Seed pod was observed to fall off during a later test carried out on SCP-XXXX-2 with no seeds inside.
Analysis: Still not working. I'm beginning to think we need to go even smaller, perhaps a spec of rust might be small enough. Dr. S█████
Test F - 13/8/20██
Subject: SCP-XXXX-2
Procedure: 5 grams of rust scraped from SCP-XXXX-1 is released inside of a seed pod on SCP-XXXX-2 in an attempt to produce seeds.
Results: After 2 months of observing, the bottom of the can functioning as the seed pod dropped off and twelve (12) seeds were observed to land on the ground from inside the pod.
Analysis: I think we've cracked it. It makes sense too, rust is light and can float on air. I believe that specimens might flake these pieces of rust off in an attempt to "pollinate" other trees. Dr. S█████
Test G - 16/8/20██
Subject: SCP-XXXX-2
Procedure: A small tent has been constructed to fit the height of SCP-XXXX-2. Said tent has been placed around SCP-XXXX-2 and has been designed with a special fabric to catch rust. After two (2) weeks, the tent will be removed in an attempt to locate rust particles.
Results: After two (2) weeks of monitoring, the tent was removed. Rust particles were found coating the inside of the tent.
Analysis: This proves two things, the first being that SCP-XXXX uses rust to pollinate other trees, and the second being that SCP-XXXX specimens don't require sunlight to survive. Dr. S█████
Item #: SCP-XXXX-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-J must be contained as soon as possible due to the extreme security breach it represents64. In the event that a successful way to contain SCP-XXXX-J is found, then it is to immediately be implemented65.
Description: SCP-XXXX-J is a website located at the link http://www.scp-wiki.net/6667. Its purpose is to document anomalous items/entities that would threaten humanity's existence, or vision of reality in an online database.
SCP-XXXX-J's anomalous properties are not completely evident to those of us approved to read them68. However, SCP-XXXX-J's anomalous effect is its complete inability to keep it from public access. While SCP-XXXX-J is supposed to be a top secret website, any individual is able to search up, access, and read the classified documents contained within the site69.
This anomalous effect is cause for extreme concern. Since any individual is capable of access to SCP-XXXX-J can easily result in a massive security breach70. In addition, extremely sensitive data can be accessed without proper verification71.
Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX-J's public access, individuals without approval72 are able to edit documents73, this may include correcting simple grammatical mistakes, up to changing the entire layout and description of the anomalous item. Additionally, items appear to have a module that allows for voting. This module allows users to either click on a plus (+) symbol or minus (-) symbol to either upvote or downvote the document respectively. This voting module displays the total number of votes starting from a baseline of 0, where an upvote adds 1 to the number and a downvote takes away 1 from the number74. When a document has reached a total rating of -10, "staff"75 will post a comment in the discussion thread76 announcing the potential deletion of the document. Once 3 "staff' members have voted towards deletion, the document is removed from the site.
Addendum: Due to the extreme containment breach SCP-XXXX-J is causing, various attempts have been made to neutralise SCP-XXXX-J.
Test A - 02/4/██
Procedure: Dr. Rutherford personally entered and edited articles, removing all information from them.
Results: All edits were reversed within 2 hours of editing. Dr. Rutherford received a private message from [INSERT ADMIN NAME HERE]77, message reads: "Due to your repeated unauthorised vandalism of documents, you have been permanently banned from this site. You will not have any option to repeal this ban -[INSERT ADMIN NAME HERE]"
Analysis: Dr. Rutherford was no longer able to access the site.
Test B - 03/4/██
Procedure: In a joint decision from the O5 Command, O5-█ privately messaged [INSERT ADMIN NAME HERE] demanding the unbanning of Dr. Rutherford at risk of termination.
Results: O5-█ received the following private message back from [INSERT ADMIN HERE]: "Dr. Rutherford has repeatedly vandalised documents with malicious intent. Dr. Rutherford is permanently banned with no option for appeal. Additionally, you have threatened my safety and have violated the rule of name format (Having a username with an O5- format is not allowed). As such, staff have decided to permanently ban you. You will have no option to repeal."
Analysis: Dr. Rutherford still did not have access to the site. O5-█ was no longer able to access the site. When questioned, simply responded "If I find this son-of-a-bitch then I'm going to [DATA EXPUNGED] the shit out of them, then I'm going to [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED] that little shi-", O5-█ was cut off and requested to calm down. O5-█ complied and was found unconscious in their office as a result of alcohol intoxication.
Test C - 12/4/██
Procedure: Class-Z memectic agent78 was uploaded and pasted onto a thread in the General Discussion Forum79 in a thread titled "PLEASE OPEN THIS THREAD".
Results: Seven (7) minutes after the thread was posted, the image was found placed in a collapsible with the note "All images must be placed in collapsibles -[INSERT MOD NAME HERE]" and thread was locked. No deaths were reported as a result of the memectic agent.
Analysis: Are they immune to our memectic agents? If so then we're dealing with some serious anomalies here. -Researcher Harold
Test D - 16/4/██
Procedure: Dr. Li was instructed to join the site's official internet relay chat, #site1980 and inform all users that they were accessing a classified site, and that continued access of the Foundation site would result in termination.
Results: Dr. Li was requested by [INSERT IRC CHAT ADMIN HERE] to stop threatening users, and informed that the IRC chat "was not a roleplaying channel". Dr. Li repeatedly warned users that if they continued accessing the Foundation site they would be terminated until she was banned from the channel.
Analysis: Termination of all #site19 users has been approved by O5 council vote.
Addendum 2: Uhhh guys, don't you think making classifying this site as an SCP is just going to draw more attention to the site? -Researcher Jacobs
Addendum 3: Oh fuck. -Dr. Laurence
We Are Number One, but it's Made by the SCP Foundation.
Site Director: Are you a real task force?
Task Force guy #1: Well, uhh, technically, nah.
Site Director: Have you ever caught a skip, like uh, like a real Euclid.
Task Force guy #1: Nah.
Site Director: Have you ever conducted a mission?
Task Force guy #1: Nah, nah.
Site Director: Alright, I can see, that I will have to teach you; how to be a task force.
Doo, do do do do do doo dooo. Do do do do do do do doodoododododoooo.
Everyone: (Hey!) We are Gamma-1! (Hey!)
Everyone: We are Gamma-1!
Site Director: Now listen closely…here's a little lesson in the SCP. This is going down in history. If you wanna be in Task Force Gamma-1, you have to chase an anomaly on the run.
Site Director: Just follow my moves, and sneak around, be careful not to make a sound.
Task Force guy #?: Steps on SCP-682 tail
SCP-682 tail: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Site Director: No, don't touch that!
Sound of 682 roar in the distance
Everyone: We are Gamma-1. (Hey!)
Everyone: We are Gamma-1!
Everyone: We are Gamma-1!
Show some people fucking up trying to get 173
Site Director: Now look at this skip81, that I just found. When I say "house"82, be ready to pounce! "Pounce!"
MTF Gamma-1 pounce on the Site Director
Site Director: Pounce at him not me! Ugh, let's try something else.
Site Director: Now watch, and learn, here's the deal; he'll teleport into this cage of steel! Ha ha ha!
Task force guy #? knocks over the cage
Site Director: (Gasp) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Everyone: Ba-ba-biddly-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Everyone: We are Gamma-1!
Everyone: Hey!
Everyone: Ba-ba-biddly-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Everyone: We are Gamma-1!
Everyone: Ba-ba-biddly-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Everyone: We are Gamma-1!
Everyone: Hey!
Everyone:Ba-ba-biddly-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Site Director: We are Gamma-1!
Everyone:Hey! Hey!
A few things I should keep track of. Since I intend for them all to use different text-to-speech voices. I will record what voice they use below. All of the voices will be from here until someone either learns singing lessons and helps me, or I dunno.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment unit. This containment unit may be equipped with a library containing books of the subjects choosing87, a benchpress set, and a suspended steel column for use as a punching bag as a reward for good behavior. Said containment unit is to be completely surrounded with 3cm thick plates of lead. Inspection is to occur weekly if SCP-XXXX is not showing signs of hostility and daily if it is. In the event SCP-XXXX begins to show signs of hostility, a full lock down of Site-435 is to occur and SCP-XXXX be reclassified to Keter.
SCP-XXXX does not currently consider the Foundation to be a threat. In order to maintain this view, interviews are only to be conducted after approval from at least two (2) level three (3) members.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a largely muscular human male, with a height of 214cm and a weight of 154kg. SCP-XXXX wears a red full body spandex, a belt with a stylized A for a belt buckle, a mask that covers the eyes, and a red cape. Subject identifies themselves as "Captain Amazing", but responds to its classification.
SCP-XXXX has demonstrated a number of anomalous effects including:
- Emerge unscathed from three (3) minutes of machine gun fire from a MTF.
- Lift upwards of 62 tonnes. Observed after subjected lifted an M1 Abrams main battle tank during testing.
- Fly at speeds upwards of mach 5.
- In one case, SCP-XXXX was observed firing lasers out of its eyes in order to cut through an airlock door to recover four (4) MTF members.
SCP-XXXX speaks and behaves in a very exaggerated way, similar to that of a comic book superhero. When asked about this, SCP-XXXX responded claiming "All Superheroes are larger than life". Subject did not explain any further. SCP-XXXX, despite having the capability to easily, does not attempt to terminate those it perceives as a threat, preferring to simply incapacitate them and place them in custody of the appropriate authorities.
Addendum: SCP-XXXX was first discovered in █████, USA, after a newspaper published an article of a superhero rescuing civilians from the ██████ apartment complex after it was ignited by an unknown arsonist. The article was suppressed and a cover-up story was created ruling it as faulty wiring. SCP-XXXX was subdued using [REDACTED] memectic agent.
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX
Interviewer: Dr. W████████
Foreword: Conducted immediately after SCP-XXXX resumed consciousness. SCP-XXXX is under heavy restraints.
<Begin Log>
Dr. W████████: Good morning SCP-XXXX, you have just awoken fr-
SCP-XXXX: I'll hear none of it! Release me at once, villain! Or I shall be forced to show you the glorious hand of justice!
Dr. W████████: Please calm down. We're not villains. We're-
SCP-XXXX: I'll hear none of your lies! You claim not to be villains, yet you have locked me up in your lair! Now release me at once!
Dr. W████████: I'm afraid we cannot release you. Regardless of your intentions, you are a threat to humanity. But I assure you, we are not vi-
SCP-XXXX: Silence! Your attempts to trick me have failed! Now you will release me at once or I will be forced to enact extreme measures on you! You'll spend the rest of your days in a jail cell thinking about what you've done!
Dr. W████████: Listen here SCP-XXXX. I'm getting sick of hearing you blabbing on. I'm going to put it bluntly, I don't give a shit what you'll do to me if I don't release you. You're all tied up, and with just a single command, I can give you another shot of [REDACTED] memectic agent. You can think we're villains all you want, I couldn't care less. If you cooperate with us, we can make sure your stay here is pretty comfortable. But if you don't, then we can keep you locked up, unable to move, ready to expose you to [REDACTED] the minute you do anything we don't like. Your move SCP-XXXX.
SCP-XXXX: I suppose you leave me no choice then. I'll comply.
Dr. W████████: Thank you, we will now escort you to your holding cell. Expect an additional interview at a later date.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: SCP-XXXX was transferred to his holding cell. Subject did not resist this transportation.
Addendum-2: I know that this sounds silly, "Ohhh the Foundation's containing Superman". But this is something serious. SCP-XXXX said that there were other anomalies like this out there, and I don't care how funny this seems, if he's telling the truth; then we've got a huge problem on our hands. You can joke about how we're "hunting down the Justice League" as much as you want, but joking won't change the fact that every single one of these poses a massive threat. Get your act together people, an anomaly is an anomaly, no matter how silly it sounds. -Dr. W████████
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained within a 10x10x5m cell. This cell is to be specially fitted so that it resembles the natural habit of a leopard (Panthera pardus). Containment cell is also to be fitted with a bench press set and treadmill, as well as a bookshelf containing books of the subject's choosing. SCP-XXXX is to fed on an exclusive diet of meat88, while steak is the subjects preferred meat, it will accept alternatives if there is none available.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an adult male, with a height of 193cm and a weight of 137kg. SCP-XXXX wears a red [YOU KNOW THAT THING SUPERMAN WEARS? THE ONE THAT RESEMBLES UNDERWEAR BUT ISN'T? THAT THING!] with a stylised A on the belt buckle. Subject identifies themselves as "Leopard Man", but will respond to their classification.
SCP-XXXX differs from a non-anomalous male, in that parts of his body visually match those of a leopard (Panthera pardus). These include:
- A head virtually identical to that of a leopard, the leopard colouration extends to its chest before fading into human skin.
- Hands that feature large claws resembling a leopard in place of fingernails. Subject is able to retract these claws at will. These hands also feature leopard fur in place of skin, and this extends until just past subject's elbow before fading into human skin.
- A tail extending from where the coccyx would normally end. This tail measures at 77cm. Tail is covered in leopard fur.
Testing has shown that these anomalies have DNA consistent with a leopard (Panthera pardus), while areas visually human have a mix of leopard and human DNA with an exact ratio of 1:1.
Jesus Christ people. -Site Director Frederick