Nobody Poops But You

Item Number: XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX may be kept within a standard security locker with access granted to level-3 personnel or higher. Outside of testing, the contents of SCP-XXXX are not to be read, and Foundation personnel have affixed a standard book lock to the item in order to prevent accidental viewing. Any non-D class subjects exposed to SCP-XXXX should be given a colostomy in order to prevent premature death.

Description: SCP-XXXX is an anomalous version of the book “Nobody Poops But You,” by W.U. Ming. While identical in every quantifiable aspect to non-anomalous instances of the book, any individual who reads SCP-XXXX in its entirety will become convinced that they are indeed the only organism in existence that defecates. Partial readings will only produce a temporary ‘nagging doubt’ that will dissipate upon being presented with any evidence that this is not the case. Individuals must also be functionally literate in English to be affected.

In individuals under the full effect of SCP-XXXX, normal human cognitive biases will be amplified to whatever extraordinary levels are required to preserve the delusion that they are the only ones who defecate. Many test subjects believe that other people claim they defecated only to make them feel better, or as part of some sort of cruel and elaborate joke. This belief extends to medical authorities or television personalities who are not even aware of the subject’s existence. When asked to explain the existence of toilet paper, laxatives, or any other products related to human defecation, test subjects claim that these items are not in fact used this way by other people. If asked to explain how it’s possible that nobody else defecates, test subjects will claim they are insufficiently educated on such matters to posit an explanation, even when they had been thoroughly instructed in the matter of human digestion prior to testing. If they witness any human beings or non-human animals defecating, either in person or via video, they will insist they’re faking it for the subject’s benefit.

Subjects afflicted by SCP-XXXX will feel deep and profound shame and embarrassment over their ‘condition’. These feelings will escalate over a period of several weeks until the subject becomes unwilling to defecate at all, which will eventually result in a fatal bowel rupture if not treated. Colostomies have proven effective in prolonging the life of test subjects. Though they refuse to defecate, they are willing to change their pouches, albeit in a furtive manner. To date all test subjects who have survived exposure to SCP-XXXX still believe that they are the only individuals in existence who produce feces, and no amount of psychotherapy has been able to persuade them otherwise.

Addendum A: SCP-XXXX was recovered from an apartment in █████████, ██, home of the Lee family. When the building’s superintendent went in to investigate complaints of an awful smell, he found both adults and their █ year old daughter all dead from massive bowel ruptures. When autopsies failed to uncover any physical cause, the Foundation was called in to investigate. SCP-XXXX was discovered during the initial sweep of the Lee apartment, and preliminary testing confirmed its anomalous properties. Investigation into where the Lees acquired SCP-XXXX is ongoing.

Addendum B: The Ethics Committee has put a moratorium on testing SCP-XXXX. There is no more useful information to be gained from further testing. The Foundation is cold, but we are not cruel. This thing is just cruel.

~Well, shit. – Dr. ███████