dspitzle-SCP Drafts

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: The component parts of SCP-XXXX are to be stored together in the Biomedical Devices vault of Site-██ in the associated packaging. The batteries should be removed from SCP-XXXX-2 and -3 while they are in storage.

Description: SCP-XXXX is comprised of three devices:

  • SCP-XXXX-1 resembles a small penlight. A slider on the handle turns the device on and off and controls the intensity of its effect. Rather than using the batteries typical for penlights, the bottom of the device is attached to a 2m long power cord with a standard DC power supply [footnote]Input 120 V AC 60Hz 0.15A, Output 9.6 V DC 200mA[/footnote].
  • SCP-XXXX-2 is a circular fan-driven drone, approximately 7 cm in diameter. It is powered by 2 standard 2032 button cell batteries, and carries a small camera and high-intensity white LED light. It has a manufacture date of 8/31/1973 stamped on the side.
  • SCP-XXXX-3 is a color CRT monitor powered by two standard C-cell batteries. The monitor incorporates a button which turns -2's camera and light on and off, and a toggle that causes -2 to lift off and travel forward and backward while -1 is activated.

The box (and accompanying instructional booklet) recovered with SCP-XXXX identifies it as "Doctor Wondertainment's Body Safari Kit", featuring a cover illustration of two children flying on an enlarged version of -2 through a jungle featuring anthropomorphized pieces of anatomy, including an inner ear, uvula, and [REDACTED]. The bottom right corner of the box features a depiction of Doctor Wondertainment saying "When We Can't Explore Our Bodily Orifices, What Is There Left To Explore?"

Instructions for SCP-XXXX direct the user to switch on -1 while pointing it at a bodily opening, and slowly advance the slider. Doing so results in the targeted orifice expanding in size to a maximum diameter of ██ cm, while extending the channel behind the opening to an unknown extent. Pressing the toggle on -3 causes -2 to lift off and advance into or retreat from the orifice, while activating the camera and light on -2 sends video footage to -3. Powering down -1 causes the orifice to return to normal size. The instructions warn against turning off -1 while -3 is inside the orifice, and recommend use of a surge protector for -1.

SCP-XXXX was recovered from ██████████████, █████████ on █/█/20█ after automated monitoring picked out an emergency call about ██████ █████████, age 8, being taken to the emergency room with a massively enlarged [REDACTED]. Further investigation determined that a car collided with a nearby power pole as █████████ was using SCP-XXXX, resulting in fluctuating power levels in the area, apparently making the effects of -1 permanent; the child retained sufficient presence of mind to guide -2 back out. Containment was achieved via reconstructive surgery and administration of amnestics to the family and medical personnel, and the initial emergency call was presented as a prank in local media.