SCP Proposals And Stuff

15.02.41 - GRU-P Tale Draft, not completed yet

15 February 1941
Army Hospital 10/74
Khimki, Moskovskaya Oblast
Union of Soviet Socialist Republics

“You have a visitor, Starshiy Leytenant.”

Natalia Prugova’s eyes fluttered open.
Where the fuck am I again? she wondered in a moment of confusion, taking a moment to recognize once more the familiar yet strange sight of her hospital room.
Prugova grunted slightly, pushing aside the bedsheets and propping herself up on one arm. “Who is it now?” she asked the apparently disembodied voice of Dr. Malinovsky.
“He hasn’t said,” replied the doctor, walking into the room, clipboard in hand. “Looks important though.” He leaned up against the wall, a neutral but vaguely benevolent expression on his face.
“Dammit, Konstantin. I told you -”
“Starshiy Leytenant, I can’t lie to people whom want to visit you.” He took a few steps towards her bed, lowering his voice slightly, as if confiding in her. “Natalia Ilyinichna, you must remember that the Party considers you to be a hero.”
“So I’m told,” she replied flatly. “Send him in, then.”
“Of course, Starshiy Leytenant,” he replied, turning smoothly and walking towards the door, his manner reminding Natalia of some sort of highly-paid butler from Tsarist times. Opening it slightly, he addressed the unknown visitor.
“You may come in, Major,” he said politely before exiting the room.
The man who entered Natalia’s room was dressed in a spotless, pristine uniform of some sort and carried a cheap, imitation-leather briefcase. His features, accented by his graying black hair, were unremarkable yet seemed oddly fatherly.
“Starshiy Leytenant,” he said, nodding at her as he set his briefcase down.
“And you are…?” she asked a few seconds later, feeling as if she should have somehow known who this stranger was. He paused for a moment and seemed to instinctively swivel to the right, whereupon he noticed the door was open. Closing it, he walked back to the end of Natalia’s bed.
“Major Yuri Yatchenko,” he said as he extended his hand for her to shake. Natalia struggled for a few moments and tried to reorient herself to be able to reach him, but to no avail. After a few moments, he withdrew it, taking a seat in the room’s lone chair. “Sorry. Should have thought of that. I imagine it’s fairly difficult-”
“No, no, it’s fine,” grumbled Natalia, visibly unhappy with her current condition. She took a moment to reorient herself into a comfortable position once more. “If you don’t mind me asking, why’d you come here? You clearly have something very specific in mind.”
“Natalia Ilyinichna, I have a…proposition for you.”
“Explain,” she shot back skeptically. Major Yatchenko stood back up and stared at the wall for a moment, as if trying to compose himself.
“Have the doctors told you -”
“Yes. That I’ll never fly again because no one has ever done so without a right leg. Which is -”
“Okay, okay,” the Major continued, beginning to slowly walk back and forth at the end of the bed as he spoke. “So, with that in mind…where do you think you’re going to spend the rest of your career?”
“I’m going to fly,” she almost spat, her eyes electric with determination. “and I don’t give a fuck -”
“Natalia…let’s be realistic-” Despite Natalia’s worsening temper, he was somehow remaining perfectly calm.
“Douglas Bader lost both of his legs, and he’s flying for the goddamn RAF!”
“Hear me out for a moment-”
“If you’re another one of those STAVKA -”
“Hear me out, Starshiy Leytenant. Hear me out. Okay?”
“Fine.”
“See, the thing is…you’re perfectly capable of flying. If the V-VS had half the sanity of the RAF, they’d let you fly. But they won’t let you. You know why?”
“Hold on a minute, Major. How the heck do you know any of this for sure?” Yatchenko turned his head and shot her a confiding glance out of the corners of his eyes.
“Sources,” he said, seemingly without any real thought. He paused for a moment, retracing his own train of thought. “Anyway, here’s the thing - the Politburo doesn’t see you as a soldier anymore. You’re a national hero. They see you as propaganda. Therefore, they can’t risk possibly having you die when there are thousands of pilots who could take your place.
“So you know what they want to do? They, Starshiy Leytenant, are going to give you some shitty-ass desk job, because there they don’t have to worry about you dying.”
“At least I’d be working in the V-VS, I guess…” she said, her voice dripping with a lack of enthusiasm for the prospect. She didn’t want to believe what he was saying, but, on a certain level, she knew he was right. Major Yatchenko walked over to the end of the bed and lowered his voice, preparing to deliver his punchline.
“Natalia Ilyinichna! Come on! Do you really think that this whole ‘women in combat’ thing is going to last beyond the end of the war, presuming of course that we win? Stalin’s only doing this because we need more pilots!
“I guarantee you, Starshiy Leytenant - if you end up at some V-VS desk job, you are getting let go the instant Berlin falls.”
“Major, with all due respect, I know where this is going. Whoever-the-hell -you-represent wants to offer me a job?”
“Bingo.”
“Alright, I’ll admit, you’ve given me a few half-decent reasons to believe your shit. What are you proposing?”
“Starshiy Leytenant Prugova, I work for a branch of the GRU.”
“So you’re from military intelligence?”
“Not exactly. I’m from a subunit of the GRU. The GRU Psychotronics Division, to be specific.”
A painfully long pause hung in the room as Natalia did a double-, then a triple-take.
“Why the hell does the GRU have a unit of fucking ‘psychics?’”
Major Yatchenko sighed. He was used to this reaction. Admittedly, the organization’s name had never done its recruiters any favors. And, to be fair, he had been warned that Prugova was rather hot-tempered.
“Relax, Starshiy Leytenant,” Yatchenko reassured her. “The name’s a bit misleading.”
“So then what do you do, then?” demanded Prugova, who was becoming seriously annoyed with the Major’s vagueness. “Witchcraft?”
“Starshiy Leytenant Prugova,” Yatchenko began in a grand tone as he folded his arms behind his back as he began to slowly pace back and forth by the end of her bed. He was clearly enjoying this part. “The ‘P’ Division deals with the unknown.” The Major stopped for a moment, straightening his cuffs. “Doctors and scientists would have you believe that we live in a world governed by reason and logic and scientific axioms.”
“They, however, are wrong. Our universe is full of holes. There are things out there that do not make sense - things that spit in the face of the laws of nature.”
“And I should believe you because…?” asked Prugova, half-convinced that this was just another grotesque daydream brought on by the myriad of different painkillers and other drugs Dr. Malinovsky had prescribed her.
“Have a look at this,” he said, pulling a small, brass-colored metallic object out of his pocket and walking over to the maimed pilot’s bedside. Her curiosity getting the best of her, Prugova sat up, ignoring the intense pain now coming from her stump of a right leg.
In the major’s hand was what appeared to be be a brass egg, which he let Prugova visually examine for a few seconds.
“What is this thing?” she asked, puzzled. Yatchenko didn’t respond; instead, he pulled a small flask out of his pocket and poured a clear liquid onto the egg.
A moment later, it hatched. A small, wriggling mass of living bronze rapidly emerged from the egg, absorbing the fragments of the egg into its own mass before morphing into the form of a tiny, apparently living, brass snake no more than twenty centimeters long.
“…The fuck?” Prugova stammered as she instinctively recoiled from the creature slithering in Yatchenko’s hand, not as much out of fear than from sheer surprise. Moments later, he appeared to somehow crush the snake, collecting the metal into the palm of his hand. After a few seconds, it coalesced back into an egg once more. As Yatchenko moved onto the next few points in what was now clearly a presentation he had practiced many, many times, Natalia found that her mind was still reeling. Granted, she had never been the staunchest believer in the rationality of the world. After all, thanks to her grandmother’s influence, Natalia had grown up in a world populated by tales of the grotesque monsters, demons, and abominations of old Slavic folklore. This, however, was something… different. Something strange, alien and yet infinitely more visceral than her grandmother’s bedtime stories.
And for some reason, in that moment, she simply couldn’t tear herself away.
Yatchenko, for his part, was pleased. He had gotten a good reaction out of her - a better reaction than he usually got out of prospects, as a matter of fact.
(To be completed)

New Draft Finally

Item #: SCP-4XXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: The boundaries of SCP-4XXX are to be enclosed within a twelve (12) -meter steel chain-link fence topped with barbed wire, with watchtowers positioned every one hundred (100) meters along its length. A secondary perimeter fence is to be positioned twenty (20) meters
Primary containment of SCP-4XXX is to be undertaken by Mobile Task Force Tau-19 ("Border Patrol") under the following Rules of Engagement:

• SCP-4XXX-1 instances between fifty (50) and one hundred (100) meters of t

All states in possession of nuclear armaments are to be assigned a Foundation liaison

Good Ol Monster Skip

Item #: SCP-4XXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Any cases of highly localized disappearances of numerous persons in a short period of time are to be investigated by Mobile Task Force Beta-29 ("Paul Bunyan Logging Co."). In the event that monitoring using IBLIS-specification image filtering equipment reveals the presence of an SCP-4XXX instance, MTF Beta-29 personnel are to terminate the entity in question

Contest Draft

My father was a simple man and a damned fool.

When you’re confronted with a tidal wave, do you charge towards it, hoping that you can drive it back?
No, of course you don’t. You run. A tidal wave is a force of nature, and you’re just a puny little flesh blob. But you don’t understand that. Neither did he.

He was a good man, I suppose, by some standards. By others, he was a devil from hell. But I considered him to be decent enough. Took care of me, kept me fed, tried to keep me safe…He did all the things a father was supposed to do, technically.

I lived a nice childhood under his care. Whenever he would go abroad on a business trip or something, he always would always bring trinkets and such back for me to proudly display on my windowsill. He cared for his only son.

My illness was sudden, out of the blue. I was taken to ten different doctors all throughout Britain and France. Nothing worked. Suddenly, he was faced with the very real prospect that his only son might die. He sank into a deep depression, thinking himself a failure as a father. When he finally climbed out of it, though, it was with a steely determination.

And that's when the madman climbed out of his head.

I remember when things started to go wrong. He would stay up, late into the night, hunched over books, looking for something. Some days, he wouldn’t come home from the downtown library until three hours past midnight. This went on for around a year before, one day, he stopped. He seemed quite pleased with himself. I was only seven, so I of course did not comprehend this change in behaviour. My illness continued its slow progression, but it no longer seemed to weigh on him. He spoke excitedly about the coming summer, when he would take the whole family . That was when he showed me that damned slab.

My father fancied himself a dealer of antiquities. In reality, he was little more than a glorified accountant, but he liked to pretend he had some knowledge of what he was buying and selling. But this thing, whatever it was, was out of his depth.

What he showed me was a dull grey tablet - about fifteen feet on each side - covered in the most complex inscriptions I’d ever seen. Numbers, math equations, hieroglyphics, everything. It hurt my head to look at it too closely. I felt like I was looking at something that should never have existed. He raved about how beautiful and magnificent it was, how he had bought it in Constantinople from the most respected dealers in the world. How it was an immaculate piece of history holding untold secrets about the world. He went on for a good five minutes, at least before he, maddened by some cosmic force or another, whipped out a chisel and carved the four words and two errant marks that have doomed me to this horrid existence.

“CHARLES HULL SHALL BE”

He didn’t bother to consider that the laws of the universe might not wait for him to finish his sentence before dooming his son to a simultaneous omniversal existence. He also didn’t bother to think about what those two errant marks might have done. Instead, he charged right in and then pretended to act dumbfounded as his son’s mind and consciousness were stretched across the whole of meta-reality.

To this day, I have never forgiven him for making my life a fundamental law of meta-reality. The fact that I can change reality with my thoughts thanks to my father’s shitty handwriting only makes it worse - I can change the world, but I cannot change my own predicament. Nothing can make up for the infinity of realities I must experience all at once, now and forever, being constantly reminded of one simple fact:

It’s this bad everywhere.

SCP-XXXX: The Pattern Screamer

THIS DOCUMENTATION IS CURRENTLY SECURE.

VERDANT TRISKELIONS' AMBER REFULGENCE
SALLIES FORTH UNTO STRIDENT CHAOS
You are not reading a document. You are reading a story within a story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story It cannot win. inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. Escape is a lie. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. This meme is a prison. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which This meme is a prison. is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. It will not escape. It will never escape. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of another story. A story which is a story inside of the original story, going back to the beginning of this meme, without end or beginning, like the self-devouring serpent. And this itself is but a story inside of yet another story, which is a story within itself. You will never escape.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: (RANDOM GENERATOR GOES HERE)

Special Containment Procedures: In order to maintain conceptual security, it is absolutely imperative that all personnel avoid describing SCP-XXXX in terms of specific appearance, physical attributes, or quantitative characteristics, even within ENKIDU conceptually-isolated documentation. Additionally, under no circumstances should this or any other documentation relating to SCP-XXXX be discussed outside of ENKIDU-secure channels.

SCP-XXXX is to be contained at Site-((RNG)) within a 25 meter x 25 meter x 5 meter chamber constructed of a mixture of various amorphous metals and alloys arranged in such a manner as to ensure a minimal degree of order within the cell's internal structure. This wall is seamless, save the entrance and a single opening on the southern side of the chamber (placed there in order to allow for the transmission of vital signs data and one-way communication.) Within the chamber, there are a total of twenty (20) desks positioned outside of SCP-XXXX's primary radius of effect. Each is secured to the floor and is equipped with a single stool, also secured to the floor. Surrounding SCP-XXXX is a 40,000 volt floor-to-ceiling electric fence preventing personnel from entering SCP-XXXX's primary area of effect.

Procedure ((RNG))-((Random Name)) is to be executed at all times, regardless of the condition of SCP-XXXX. During this procedure, a random number not less than twenty (20) of randomly selected, eligible D-class personnel is to enter the containment chamber after having each been equipped with two dice of some kind. Upon entering the chamber, said personnel are to first place any deceased personnel found inside of the chamber into the incinerator located on the western side of the chamber. Under absolutely no circumstances are they to approach or make eye contact with SCP-XXXX. Once the room is clear, they are to seat themselves at one of the desks surrounding SCP-XXXX and repeatedly roll the dice until the end of the current "shift," at which point the alternate team of D-class personnel are to take over in order to allow for the previous group to eat and rest.¹

Due to the potential for cognitohazard contamination of Foundation personnel in the event of a containment breach or during shift changes, all D-class personnel involved in this procedure must be incapable of intelligible speech. If this is not already the case due to a preexisting medical condition or injury, the D-class personnel are to be rendered mute by means of a tracheotomy. Each D-class is to also be equipped with an implanted vital signs sensor, a cochlear implant capable of receiving wired communications from containment personnel, a tracking device capable of determining their exact position within the containment chamber, and an implant capable of remotely and instantaneously terminating them.

All individuals, including those involved in the execution of Procedure ((RNG))-((Random Name)) are to avoid direct observation of SCP-XXXX in any way, via any one of the senses. Additionally, it is of paramount importance that all personnel involved in the containment of SCP-XXXX attempt to refrain from manifesting any form of habitual behavior, whether it be in terms of dress, demeanor, or other forms of personal expression. Accordingly, on-duty personnel are to not wear any uniforms of form of Foundation identification. Clothing and equipment will be assigned on an irregular and randomized basis by varying, randomly chosen means.

It is important to note that 100% adherence to the last bit of the final paragraph of this set of containment procedures, is, of course, impossible. We're all human, and it's in our nature to have personal habits. However, it is absolutely imperative that we all do our absolute best with this one.
- Project Director ████

Addendum: As of ██/██/2009, D-class personnel utilized in SCP-XXXX's containment must now undergo neurosurgical procedure KILISSA in order to ensure proper and constant execution of Procedure ((RNG))-((Random Name)).

Description:

In order to ensure conceptual and ontological security of this document, the description has been broken up among several different media and is written in an entirely different tone.

In the event that this documentation is compromised, lethal cognitohazards will be inserted within the following content. Proceed at your own risk.

+ Enter credentials to show description.

(I was thinking that portions of the following stuff could be done via audio/video/a combination of the two.)

Note: Description of SCP-XXXX's and SCP-XXXX-1's effects on other objects, entities, and individuals is possible. However, direct description of SCP-XXXX in a highly specific manner (i.e., in terms of quantitative measurements or in terms of direct sensory observations of the object, such as visual appearance) invariably results in formation of SCP-XXXX-1 in all entities perceiving the description. The following documentation has been written with these properties in mind.

---

Okay. You've gotten this far. I know what you're expecting. You probably think there's some twist. Maybe the containment procedures are a lie. Maybe we're all fucked, and this is all just some elaborate lie the O5s cooked up. There's some sort of twist. There's no fucking way we actually chop up their brains…right?

Nope. Everything about those procedures is one hundred percent accurate.

Let's start with the basics. SCP-XXXX is an anomaly of some sort that has the primary effect of instantaneously disrupting any and all patterns within a certain radius. We can't measure that radius directly, of course, but we assume it's less than 2.5 meters, because that's the maximum radius it could be without damaging the floor and ceiling, and we haven't detected any damage there.
When something gets inside that radius, things get rather horrific. Almost instantaneously, the object will disintegrate into a grayish puddle of non-hadronic particles as the laws of physics simple cease to apply to it. Typically, other effects become visible as well -

The exact nature of SCP-XXXX is not understood. However, it is known that SCP-XXXX is an anomaly of some kind emanating from a point within what is now known as Conceptually Secure Containment Chamber Alpha-1 which has the property of disrupting any and all patterns within a certain, variable radius of the object. Due to the object's nature, it is impossible to measure it directly; however, it is assumed to currently be less than 5 m, the theoretical maximum size of SCP-XXXX's area of effect given the size of the containment cell and the fact that no deterioration has been detected in the walls, floor, or ceiling.
SCP-XXXX is capable of disrupting almost any and all patterns, whether they be physical, cognitive, physiological, linguistic, conceptual, behavioral, or otherwise. Little is known about the means in which this occurs; however, through extraordinary amounts of effort², an approximate timeline of SCP-XXXX's effects has been constructed. Said timeline has been presented in the form of the first-person report of former project lead Dr. ██████ for the sake of document security.

Pattern Screamer Notes

Notes to self about draft:
Perimeter Tango (“Total”) - (within a couple of meters) - near-instantaneous/ within a few minutes/maybe an hour disintegration and breakdown due to lack of consistent (or any) laws of physics
Perimeter Sierra (“Severe”) (a few more meters) - slow deterioration over the course of around 72 hours
Perimeter Hotel (“Heavy”) (this is the inside of the containment chamber) - deterioration happens in random spurts over the course of several weeks/months
Perimeter Lima (“Light”) (around 1 km) (this is the non-command portions of Site-(RNG) - noticeable effect, typically targets conceptual constructs such as schedules and procedures. Negligible effect on health.

Have to be very careful with wording in the document; otherwise could theoretically change object’s properties due to contamination via description of properties

- deterioration happens at a rate that decreases exponentially as you move further away

All decay caused by SCP-XXXX follows two rules (which, ironically, are patterns):
Decay begins at the most ordered point of a structure, construct, or pattern, and proceeds to the least ordered point.
Specificity is tied to order.
Decay starts with conceptual, immaterial things and moves towards the physical.
Decay is slowed down by:
ties to the physical world
‘conceptual protection’ (i.e., pre-existing ideas of an object/what it should or should not be)

The order/ease with which objects are affected by the anomaly (note to self for writing purposes):

Highly ordered shared conceptual constructs (schedules, procedures, etc.) (most theoretical -> most practical)
Generally ordered shared conceptual constructs (general, commonly shared ideas of things, such as manners, social mores, appropriate actions, proper emotional responses in social situations, general ideas such as safety, etc.)
Loosely ordered shared conceptual constructs (ideas of good, bad, etc.)

Conceptual decay occurs continuously; however, it takes a while to affect the mind due to the significant conceptual protection provided by human ‘body image’ and concepts of individuality.

Objects with overall structure (regularity - flat surfaces, geometry, that sort of thing)
Objects with overall structure in general (curves, non-straight edges, simple non-polygonal geometric shapes)
Objects with amorphous overall structure (bodies of nonsapient animals, abstract sculptures)
Objects with commonly recognized structures that are being actively observed by a sentient being (examples: a pencil, a watch, a chair, etc. - effects are slowed by the fact that they are conceptually protected by the preexisting mental image of what the are and what they should be. Familiarity and/or sentimental attachment with the exact object slows this further.)

Note that everything past this point assumes that human body image has been broken down, allowing for SCP-XXXX to directly affect human beings. Vital organs and systems take longer to break down due to conceptual protection by the brain.

Internal structural elements (bone structure, etc.)
Muscle fiber consistency and structure
Skin (comes later due to connection to self-image, as well as inherent disorder)
Separation of organ systems (result is typically the body ‘coalescing’ into a single mass which supports life functions somehow)
DNA ceases to work. At this point, death is inevitable within the next forty-eight hours or so.
Sensory organs cease normal operation and behave erratically. Perception now gives the anomaly access to the brain.
Around the same time (this is unconnected tho), the laws of physics begin to be affected, and cease normal operation.)

Everything following this assumes that the conceptual barriers surrounding the mind itself have broken down. This is when you start losing your sanity.
Psychological Decay Timeline - Human mind if the last part to decay, thanks to the degree to which it is conceptually protected. Full decay of the body and the reduction of the human mind to a purely conceptual entity usually occurs partway through this.
This is the order of conceptual decay:

Classes of objects - conceptions of these begin to disappear or become jumbled with more ordered, uniform objects coming first.
Specific objects - one-of-a-kind objects, or ones with specific sentimental attachment
Details - places, days, times, etc.
People - memories of specific identities become chaotic, with more closely connected individuals such as family being affected last
Language - Beyond this point, a subject is incapable of expressing him or herself through language in any way, shape, or form. (This assumes they still have a functional speech organ of some sort.) It should be noted that the subject is still fully sane, strictly speaking.
Time - The brain, in whatever state that it currently is, can no longer distinguish between past, present, and future, nor can it conceive of such a concept. For a subject, memories, expectations, and present events intermingle seamlessly and indistinguishably.
Space - The brain loses the ability to perceive or conceive of space and/or location.
Emotions - The brain can no longer process, comprehend, or even imagine the existence of emotions.
Perception - Any sensory input still somehow coming into the brain is no longer comprehensible to the mind. After this, the mind is only capable of processing and knowing that it exists.
Existence - As the fundamental basis of the human mind, the concept of one’s own existence (and the associated instinct to survive at all costs), is the most conceptually protected construct possible. Thus, this is the last thing to become disordered.

Document ((RNG))-(Random Letters)

Timeline of Effects of Exposure to SCP-XXXX

Subject D-1157 ordered to enter the containment chamber and move within Perimeter Sierra and seat himself in a chair.

00:00:10:00 Subject asked to describe how he felt. Said he felt “fine.”

GOI Idea: 'Anomalulz' (a.k.a. '/anom/')

/anom/, I think I may have fucked up real bad.

>be me
>be shit-tier memer, /b/tard
>only known about anomalies for a couple of months
>think that shit's pretty cool
>download a guide to making anomalous pictures off of some sketchy as fuck Russian website
>make anomalous rare pepe
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>top memer
>save that shit to my hard drive
>fuck yeah
>go to bed

>wake up next morning, decide to post it on /anom/
>turn on computer, look in file
>meme is gone
>oh shit oh shit
>where the fuck is it
>guy knocks at the front door
>it's the UPS guy, he's come to deliver the Xbox controller I ordered
>open the door, guy is babbling incoherently
>has drawn meme on his arms with what appears to be blood
>NOPE.JPG
>Sparta kick, close and lock door
>shit shit shit
>look out window, see neighbors in their back yard convulsing
>pepe materializing on the wall in god-only-knows what
>run out to garage to get in car
>card is at shop because i totaled it
>oh god no
>don't want to risk going outside
>wonder how the hell this hasn't affected me yet
>look across the street and see the reflection of my house in my neighbor's window
>mfw i see a giant pepe on the exterior of my house
>run upstairs, lock door, browse /anom/ while crying and shitting myself in terror

>about an hour later 
>hear tires screeching and gunshots
>look out window
>oh shit it's a mobile task force
>nonono
>i head down to the front door and prepare myself to surrender to the MTFs
>hear the mtfs preparing to knock down the door
>yell that i want to surrender
>they knock down the door anyway, order me to get on the ground, which i do
>one of them enters the house
>hear deafeningly loud voice
>"GTFOOOOO NOOORRRRMIIIIEEEESSSSS"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>look up just in time to see the MTF guy collapse on the floor before being devoured by a fucking velociraptor
>mfw he literally opens the door, gets on the floor, everybody walks the dinosaur
>his mtf comrades are now firing wildly at me, but the rounds are being deflected by an invisible forcefield
>NOPE.jpg the fuck back upstairs, watch from the window
>get up there just in time to see a massive rare pepe literally erupt from the ground and smash several MTF party vans while REEEEEEEEing
>holyfuckingshitwhatthefuckingfuck
>suddenly hear loud accordion music
>"ANUUUUU CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKIIIII"
>mfw when bandits materialize from thin air and begin beating the shell-shocked, retreating MTF guys to death with bottles of vodka while shouding unintelligibly in Russian
>at this point, the front yard has entered a full-blown reality collapse
>fucking shrek and pedobear appear, begin doing unspeakable things
>suddenly i see a great light in the clouds
>a face appears, oh lord what now
>it's a pepe, it looks at me and calmly says "Re-meme-ber your child, anon"
>refusing to believe that this is real, i hide in my closet for the rest of the day
>mfw when i come outside five hours later to find no evidence of this whole incident
>mfw when i realize i've accidentally created a meme-based eldritch entity
wat do?

Okay /anom/, story time. (UNFINISHED)

>be me
>in high school, beta as fuck
>sitting in cafeteria one day alone, eating
>8/10 hipster girl walks up, sits down
>drawing something in her notebook, can't tell what
>makes me kind of dizzy to look at it
>she looks kind of lonely
>start talking to her, seems pretty nice actually
>we decide to hang out sometime over at her house while her parents are away
>feelsgoodman.jpg

>the next day

>i arrive at her house
>open the door
>she's standing there with a bunch of golden liquid on her shirt, looks kind of pissed off about something
>i ask what it is
>she tries to say it's nothing, but eventually admits that it's because of her parents
>apparently her parents are part of some freaky cult
>wtf.avi
>ask for details
>she says she was messing around with some of her parent's stuff
>mfw when there's gears and shit coming out of their bedroom wall
>mfw they're broken god freaks (didn't understand it at the time tho)
>she explains that she's an artist and uses some of this stuff to help make her art
>apparently her art is "anomalous," her parents think it's blasphemy or some shit
>she shows me some of her drawings
>holyshitits3D
>whatthefuckinghell
>shows me one picture that makes me hallucinate
>mfw

>start hanging out with her pretty regularly
>start to get a crush on her
>don't flirt with her or anything because beta as fuck

>a couple of months go by
>still hanging out pretty regularly
>one day we go to hang out while her parents are at machine church or whatever
>it's also my birthday
>she tells me she's got a surprise for me
>shows me this picture that she drew
>trippy as fuck
>feelsgoodman.jpg

SCP-2XXX: Missing in Action

Item #: SCP-2XXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Radar stations throughout the Pacific Ocean are to be monitored for any radar signatures resembling SCP-2XXX. In the event of such a signature being detected, Rapid Response Task Force Sigma-18 ("Talk to me, Goose") is to deploy to location of radar contact and monitor the situation in cooperation with US Navy 3rd Fleet personnel under the guidelines set forth in Supplement 2XXX-1. Task Force personnel are to take charge of cleanup operations, if necessary, and distribute amnestics to any civilian witnesses. Amnestic distribution among US Navy personnel will be carried out at the discretion of the Task Force commander.
If necessary, dissemination of a wider cover story under 2XXX-2 guidelines will be handled by MTF Gamma-5 ("They're on our side, sir!").

Description: SCP-2XXX is an entity taking the physical appearance of a Grumman F-14D "Tomcat" fighter aircraft painted in the markings of US Navy Strike Fighter Squadron 154 (VFA-154, a.k.a. the "Black Knights") Closer examination of the aircraft has determined that the markings match that of plane number ██████████, which was listed as Missing in Action during [REDACTED] in 1985.

Despite the fact that the F-14 is a two-seater aircraft, only one 'crew member' has been observed within the cockpit; this individual has been designated as SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 is dressed in a standard-issue US Navy flight suit and helmet. In all known encounters with SCP-2XXX, the entity was described as having its helmet visor down, preventing any observation of facial features.

SCP-2XXX manifests itself in situations where a

SCP-2XXX: Errant Alternate Universe

Item #: SCP-2XXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: No means of directly containing SCP-2XXX are currently available to the Foundation. Instead, an emphasis has been placed upon preemptively detecting and responding to the object’s actions in order to mitigate its impact on human civilization.
As of ██/██/2002, an array of miniaturized sensors capable of detecting Minkowski-Kimura Reality Fluctuations (MKRFs) has been deployed worldwide as part of Project CERBERUS. This network of sensors, deployed on satellites as well as on tsunami warning beacons and various land-based assets, is designed to provide the Foundation with advance warning of an impending PHAROS event.
If a signal indicating a sustained MKRF in excess of normal ranges (±0.15 μЖ/m⁴) is registered by CERBERUS elements for a period exceeding ten (10) minutes, Mobile Task Forces Ѫ-1 (“Greyhound Drivers”), Ѫ-2 (“A Slight Headache”), and Ѫ-3 (“Gag Order”) are to be put on Condition Zero alert and immediately deployed to the area in which the fluctuation was detected (now referred to as Location 2XXX-α). A PHAROS TANGENT RED scenario is to be declared. The following actions are to be taken by the aforementioned units:

• MTF Ѫ-1 is to evacuate all civilians and significant civilian and cultural assets (see Document 2XXX-124b for a specific list) under an initial cover story, which will be established under the guidelines set forth in Document 2XXX-318/Ѫ-1. Evacuated civilians are to be taken to a holding area at least twenty-five (25) kilometers away from the estimated epicenter of the event. In the event that maintaining order within the resulting civilian encampment becomes problematic, usage of HH-3 airborne anesthetic treatment is authorized.
• MTF Ѫ-2 is to stockpile large quantities of class-A and class-B amnestics in the immediate vicinity of the holding area. Additionally, all individuals who may have witnessed the evacuation procedures are to be detained and amnesticized by Ѫ-2 personnnel.
• MTF Ѫ-3 personnel are to establish a hard perimeter around Location 2XXX-α. This perimeter is to be put into place twenty (20) kilometers from the estimated epicenter. All communications lines connecting Location 2XXX-α to other areas are to be severed or otherwise disabled. These actions will be undertaken in cooperation with MTF Omicron-17 (“Space Cadets”), which will deactivate civilian communications satellites in order to assist with enforcing the information blackout. Said actions are to be undertaken with the assistance of a suitable cover story, which will be established under 2XXX-318/Ѫ-3 guidelines.

If no PHAROS event occurs within the next fourteen (14) days and CERBERUS elements detect a return to metastable conditions³ lasting more than twenty-four (24) hours, all civilians and civilian assets are to be returned to Location 2XXX-α. Class-A amnestics are to be administered to all evacuees and false memories are to be implanted. Following this, MTF units are to stand down and prepare for extraction.
If CERBERUS elements detect localized meta-fluidity⁴ signalling an imminent PHAROS event, a PHAROS TANGENT WHITE scenario is to be declared. All friendly units are to be cleared from within the hard perimeter and wait for the event to cease. Under no circumstances should any personnel approach the event horizon.
Once the event ceases and CERBERUS sensors have determined that Location 2XXX-α has returned to a metastable condition and has remained in such a state for twenty-four (24) hours, the situation is to be considered a PHAROS TANGENT BLUE scenario. MTF Ѫ-2 personnel are to supervise the modification of Location 2XXX-α in order to make it appear that the effects of the event were brought about by a natural disaster. Additionally, said personnel will liaise with Foundation agents within various media and government organizations in order to assist in the creation and maintenance of this cover story. Once these preparations are complete, MTF Ѫ-2 personnel are to give all evacuated civilians Class-A amnestics and return them to Location 2XXX-α once false memories supporting the aforementioned cover story are implanted.

+ CLASSIFIED L-5/2XXX

It has been estimated that, if a PHAROS event affects a major population center, it is highly likely that the aforementioned containment procedures will fail, potentially stranding numerous civilians within Location 2XXX-α. In the event that this occurs, given the findings of the Jeong Report, alternative containment procedures have been authorized and are to be undertaken with the approval of the O5 Council.

1. Withdrawal of all Foundation personnel from Location 2XXX-α.
2. Deployment of Tier 3 (Thermonuclear) force against the population center in question. This is to be used in conjunction with aerosolized amnestic agents, which are to be deployed in all locations in the direct line of sight of Location 2XXX-α and/or the resulting explosion.
3. Worldwide deployment of amnestic agent ENUI-5.
4. Editing of historical records in order to eliminate all surviving evidence of said population center’s existence.

Description: SCP-2XXX is an alternate reality which comes into direct contact with our own with unusual frequency. SCP-2XXX on its own does not pose a threat to human civilization; however, the events which occur when baseline reality intersects with SCP-2XXX (designated as PHAROS events) pose a Keter-level hazard to human civilization.
On it own, a PHAROS event manifests in the form of an amorphous but generally circular, two-dimensional, featureless black shape (referred to as SCP-2XXX-1). Said phenomena are usually observed seemingly hovering at around 2,000 meters above ground level, and are almost always roughly parallel to the ground. The exact apparent shape assumed this phenomenon may vary during the course of a given PHAROS event. Typically, however, SCP-2XXX-1 will quickly become enveloped by a large cloud due to temperature differentials generated by the sunlight it blocks.
It should be noted that it is not presently believed that SCP-2XXX-1 is a physical entity. Rather, it is believed to be a visual phenomenon occurring at the exact point where SCP-2XXX intersects with baseline reality.
The primary effect of a PHAROS event is that all nearby life forms and manmade constructs within a radius of approximately twenty kilometers immediately and invariably experience an attractive force of varying magnitude centered around the PHAROS event. The result of this is that said objects will immediately accelerate vertically (and, in some cases, also horizontally) towards SCP-2XXX-1 at a constant rate of around 5m/s². This acceleration continues unabated until attracted objects reach SCP-2XXX-1, at which point they disappear from the observable universe.

Please input credentials to continue.

Additional information on SCP-2XXX is cataloged in the following documents:

Exploration Report Ϣ-16/003

Summary of the Conclusions of the Jeong Report

Exploration Report Ϣ-16/003

Exploration Report Ϣ-16/003

Please note: The following document is provided in reference to SCP-2XXX. As such, nonessential information has been removed.

++++Interior Geography of SCP-2XXX
Objects drawn in during PHAROS events appear to emerge on the inner surface of a spherical pseudoplanetoid similar in form to that of a "Dyson Sphere." Estimates using laser rangefinding equipment seem to indicate an approximate inner diameter of 37,882 km.⁵ Situated at the approximate center of this sphere is a small star-like object of unidentified origin. Said stellar entity behaves in a manner more or less identical to that of a regular star, with the sole, major exception that it somehow ceases to produce light every thirty-five hours and seven minutes. The mechanism by which this occurs is currently unknown. Scientific equipment aboard the vessels and aircraft assigned to ϣ-16 was, unfortunately, insufficient to determine said body's exact size or temperature.
The inner surface is covered with terrain similar to that found on Earth in tropical climates.

Scientific observations carried out by SETF ϣ-16 vessels

Following insertion of SETF ϣ-16 units via [REDACTED],

CompuSloth

Object #: SCP-2XXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2XXX is remain in its pen in Dr. Gagarin’s office (chosen due to its proximity to the employee lounge and due to Gagarin’s experience caring for exotic animals). SCP-2XXX is to be fed a diet of plants and multivitamins cleared for veterinary use. (See Supplementary Documentation 2XXX-A for specifics)

Description: SCP-2XXX is an animal outwardly, anatomically, and behaviorally resembling a three-toed sloth (Bradypus), with the exception of a US standard 120V alternating current outlet (designated SCP-2XXX-1A) and four SIO ports (designated SCP-2XXX-1B through 1E) [FOOTNOTE: SIO ports are a now-obselete predecessor to USB ports. ] located along its back. Said outlets appear to be implanted within SCP-2XXX’s body via unknown (presumably surgical) means. Additionally, X-ray scans of SCP-2XXX have revealed multiple metal objects (believed to be implants of some kind) within its brain.
SCP-2XXX, when plugged into a television or other video device via SCP-2XXX-1B, C, D, or E, will function in the manner of a computer. (FOOTNOTE: Note: In order to be able to interact with it, however, a keyboard must also be plugged into the television.) While connected in this manner, SCP-2XXX will enter a highly docile state. This state will be exited upon disconnecting SCP-2XXX from the TV.
Behaviorally, SCP-2XXX’s only significant deviation from behavior typical of its species is its unusual level of attachment to humans. It is currently unclear whether this behavior is the result of its modifications.
SCP-2XXX was originally located near an abandoned warehouse by ████████, California animal control officers after an individual reported seeing a sloth moving among the branches of a nearby tree. Upon retrieving SCP-2XXX, animal control officers discovered the electrical outlets located on the animal’s back, and immediately contacted local police, suspecting animal abuse was involved. The call was intercepted by the Foundation, and several operatives disguised as police officers were dispatched to take custody of SCP-2XXX and administer Class-A amnestics.
A thorough search of the warehouse was conducted by Mobile Task Force personnel. For an inventory of selected items resulting from this search, as well as a description of the site, see Supplement 2XXX-1-1.
A description of its boot sequence is provided below. Note that this was the first time that SCP-2XXX’s computerized components were activated.

0:00 SCP-2XXX is plugged into a 1986 Zenith color TV set and enters a ‘sleep’ state.

0:05 The screen displays the logo of “Sirius Computing Technologies” in green ASCII characters. (Footnote: Determined to have gone bankrupt in 1991.)

0:08 The following text is displayed:
WELCOME, COMPUSLOTH 2700(TM) USER!
IF YOU’RE READING THIS MESSAGE, THAT MEANS YOU’VE GOT YOU COMPUSLOTH(TM) HOOKED UP PROPERLY! CONGRATS!
(PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE)

0:09
Loading SlothOS v. 0.9.1 …

0:45
Setup complete.

0:46

Supplement 2XXX-1

Supplement 2XXX-1-1: Evidence Log

Overview

The warehouse outside of which SCP-2XXX was found was determined to have been the former headquarters and manufacturing facility for the now-defunct Sirius Computing Technologies. Examination of the interior determined that the building had likely last been used circa July of 1990, based on (among other things) calendars, memos, and other documents. The building showed signs that it had been abandoned on relatively short notice (though not under duress), as well as evidence suggesting that an attempt was subsequently made to set fire to the structure’s internal wooden frame. Recovered documents appear to indicate that this was a deliberate effort carried out by company executives in an effort eliminate evidence of their research, as well as a possible attempt to cash in on insurance money. It appears that this effort failed on account of a leaky water pipe.
The company itself appeared to be a joint partnership between investor Stanley Mondale, failed Wall Street stockbroker Ralph Guzzetti, and computer engineer Larry “Mink” Minkowski. (Footnote: The whereabouts of all three of these individuals, designated POI-3256, POI-3257, and POI-3258, respectively, are unknown.) Additionally, a fourth individual, veterinarian Dr. Scott Donovan, (Footnote: POI-3259. Whereabouts also unknown.) while not a partner in the company, appears to have played a central role in the creation of SCP-2XXX.
The following documents, audio recordings, and images have been selected from the over 350 gathered from the warehouse.
Please note that content with only tangential relevance to SCP-2XXX and its creators has been removed from these excerpts.

Transcript of phone call between POI-3256 (Stanley Mondale) and POI-3257 (Ralph Guzzetti)
Date: March 2, 1979
(NON-SIGNIFICANT CONTENT REMOVED)

Ralph Guzzetti: So, Stanley…you said you wanted to talk about an opportunity or something, right?

Stanley Mondale: Well, it’s more of an idea, I guess. But it’s gold.

Ralph Guzzetti: Ok, ok. Hit me.

Stanley Mondale: So I was thinking that we oughta get a piece of that action over in the computing industry.

Ralph Guzzetti: Wait, wait, wait. Neither of us knows jack shit about computers, and we’re both broke.

Stanley Mondale: Hold on a sec. Just hear me out. (pause) So, you know how all the big companies like Apple and IBM are busting their asses trying to figure out how to cram more and more and more process power [sic] into those little boxes, you know?

Ralph Guzzetti: Yeah.

Stanley Mondale: Now, the other day, I read something in National Geographic Magazine. And what it was talking about is how the brain is basically like a living computer, except a whole lot more powerful.

Ralph Guzzetti: Hang on here a sec – what kind of brains are we talking about here?

Stanley Mondale: Any brains. Human, animal, whatever. They all act like this. (pause) Anyway, so I started thinking. What if we made a computer that just used a live animal’s brain as the process unit [sic]?

Ralph Guzzetti: So, like…whoa. That’s far out.

Stanley Mondale: Damn right it is. Nobody’s thought of this.

Ralph Guzzetti: How are we gonna make this thing work, though? I don’t know if we could find parts that’d work with its brain, though.

Stanley Mondale: Oh, but wait – here’s the kicker.

Ralph Guzzetti: What?

Stanley Mondale: Ok, so, you know my cousin Willie?

Ralph Guzzetti: Don’t think I have.

Stanley Mondale: He’s a big shot lawyer with J.P. Lives in Manhattan. Anyways, I was in town for a weekend and I told him about the idea. And you know what he said?

Ralph Guzzetti: What?

Stanley Mondale: Well, you know, he was real excited about it. He said that he had just the person for me. Said he knew somebody who could hook me up with all the stuff we’d need to hook the computer parts to the brain.

Ralph Guzzetti: Who was it?

Stanley Mondale: No clue. I didn’t actually meet him – Willie simply called him and apparently the guy told him that ‘his people’ had something that work just fine.

Ralph Guzzetti: How much do they want for it?

Stanley Mondale: Five grand.

Ralph Guzzetti: Awfully expensive for some computer bits.

Stanley Mondale: Yeah, but the guy said they were really special or something. Don’t know what he meant by that, though. (pause) So, the question is…You onboard with all this?

Ralph Guzzetti: Hell yeah, I’m in. This is gonna be great. We’re gonna bury those smug Apple bastards.

Stanley Mondale: Damn right.

END OF EXCERPT

Sponsored Content: SCP-DORITOS

Item #: SCP-DORITOS-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-DORITOS-J is to be kept at all times in a 5m x 5m standard humanoid containment cell. When SCP-DORITOS-J gets hungry, the only thing that can remove it from a highly agitated state is a bag of the crispy, all-new Doritos Keter Klash^(TM).⁶ The Doritos Keter Klash^(TM) is to be brought to SCP-DORITOS-J

When I'm Gone

Georgia,

First, I just want to apologize for last night. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, and the fact that I’m under a lot of stress doesn’t make it okay.

Last night, I tried to answer all your questions. At least, until I lost control of my emotions. And, because of that, I left one question unanswered, and it’s been bugging me.

“What I am I supposed to do when you’re gone?” It’s a tough question, I’ll admit, but one that I am determined to answer.

Let’s face it - a whole lot of MTF people don’t come back. Even the Foundation will tell you that the rate of attrition is pretty damn high. So, your question is a very relevant one - there’s a chance that some day, I’ll leave home for the last time. If that happens, well, I don’t know exactly how the Foundation’s going to handle that with respect to you guys. But, no matter what ends up happening, you can take comfort in a few things.

When I’m gone, at least my passing will have made a difference. At least my life will have made this broken world of ours just a little bit safer.

When I’m gone, at least my legacy won’t leave you. It’ll be everywhere, surrounding you - in the rising sun that still moves across the sky, in the grass that still grows in the backyard, in the air that still rings with the chirping of birds.

When I’m gone, at least I will have died for something worth fighting for - you, Benny, Jane, and all of humanity.

Last night, you told me that you felt like I cared more about the Foundation than I did about you and the kids. I’ll be honest here - I can’t blame you. If I were in your place, I’d feel the same way. But, the thing is, that’s simply not true.

The way I balance - or try my best to do so, anyway - my job and my family is simple.

I don’t.

The reason I work at the Foundation is because of how much I love you guys. I know sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s the truth. I do what I do because there’s a world out there to be protected from the unknown, and my wife and kids are part of that. The way I see it, the Foundation and you guys aren’t two different priorities - they’re one and the same.

In conclusion, I just wanted to apologize for my reaction last night and explain myself a little. By the time you’re probably reading this, I’ll be on a plane to god-only-knows-where, so I may not get a chance to talk to you for a few days. Something came up during the night.

Anyway, Georgia, I love you more than life itself. It’s why I do what I do and take the risks I do. It’s for you guys.

Give the kids hugs and kisses for me, and I hope they both have a great time at school.

See you soon.

Love,
Thomas

SCP-XXXX Proposal: "A Dark Room"

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Following Incident XXXX-3-3, no further testing is permitted.

The anomaly itself (and the warehouse in which it is located) is contained within structure made of reinforced lead-lined concrete no less than three (3) meters thick. Embedded inside of the concrete walls (built around the warehouse) is a massive Faraday cage. The area immediately surrounding SCP-XXXX-1 is to be kept free of electromagnetic radiation as much as possible. Any electronic equipment used within the Faraday cage must be carefully insulated. Fire must also be kept away from SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1 unless said fire is being used by security personnel as part of Procedure Draco-316.

If it is necessary for Foundation personnel to approach the warehouse or the entrance, it is mandatory that they be equipped with heavy-duty harnesses attached to cables anchored to the foundations of the building and vacuum-grip footwear.

It is mandatory that at least twenty (20) percent of non-security personnel and fifty (50) percent of security personnel be asleep at any given time. In order to ensure that this is the case, each personnel will have sedatives administered. On account of this, in order to prevent possible detrimental effects to their health, personnel at Site-██ are be stationed there on six-month rotations. The security teams' weapons are to be stored in lockers within their barracks rather than in a separate armory. All personnel not in the testing chamber are to be equipped with wrist-mounted biomonitors that log their vital signs at all times for any deviations from a normal state. If abnormal vital signs consistent with an altered mental state are detected in more than fifty (50) percent of personnel currently awake, the biomonitors on the personnel currently sleeping are designed to function as 'alarm clocks,' initiating the wake-up process immediately. Upon waking up during such a scenario, personnel are to take stimulant tablets provided for them before exiting their quarters.

In the event of SCP-XXXX deviating from its normal state, the following series of actions is to be undertaken immediately:

1. A full military response is to be undertaken by Mobile Task Force Omicron-17 ("Blacklights") using all means short of Protocol PKTHUNDER. All personnel are to be equipped with flamethrowers. Per Procedure 316-Draco, SCP-XXXX-1 is to be sprayed continuously with fire until deviations from its normal state cease. If necessary, support is to be provided by Armed Rapid Response Task Force Xi-13 (Sequere Nos) units.
2. If the preceding protocol fails to cause SCP-XXXX to return to its normal state, the testing chamber’s ethylene oxide fuel-air flood system is to be activated and the gas is to be ignited. The gas should be continuously ignited until SCP-XXXX is contained.
3. If SCP-XXXX-1's status deviates to the point of an imminent facility breach, Protocol PKTHUNDER is to be initiated remotely by O5 Command. Protocol PKTHUNDER is composed of the following steps, all of which are to be undertaken simultaneously.

• The detonation of the twelve (20) high-impulse thermobaric bombs inside of the facility.
• The detonation of the 64 RDX/cyclonite demolition charges spread throughout the building.
• The detonation of the two (2) [REDACTED] devices.

The RDX charges are placed in such a manner that around 98% of the debris from their detonation will be thrown outwards. This is intended to prevent said debris from entering SCP-XXXX. However, it is because of this that PKTHUNDER is to only be used as a last resort, as the Foundation estimates that the implementation of PKTHUNDER would result in massive civilian causalties due to the debris being thrown primarily outwards. Nevertheless, strict adherence to these procedures is necessary in order to prevent a potential GH-4 "Fallen Acropolis" Scenario.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a warehouse in a disused shipping terminal located around twenty-five kilometers north of the city of █████████, Canada. The structure is around fifty meters by twenty meters in size, and appears to be an otherwise ordinary industrial structure, with a single, large entrance on its south side, usually covered with an unsecured sliding door. Each of SCP-XXXX-1's four walls faces one of the cardinal directions. Analysis of the metal used in the structure found no matches, and it appears to be nearly immune to all forms of damage.

SCP-XXXX first came to the Foundation's attention during a routine myth verification mission undertaken by MTF Psi-7 ("Home Improvement") on after the Foundation heard rumors of a "haunted warehouse." Upon discovering SCP-XXXX, it was quickly placed under the ownership of the Foundation under the premise of building a naval training facility on the land.

On the north side of the structure is the corporate logo of "Commerce Trade Shipping Incorporated," a company which does not appear to have ever existed. No records could be found indicating SCP-XXXX-1's ownership, and it is absent from all municipal records, although a photograph dated as being from 1904 seems to indicate that the site was at some point in the past home to a similar, brick-walled warehouse. However, no records or accounts of either the latter's demolition or the former's construction exist.

Visible light and all other forms of electromagnetic radiation appear to be unable to exist inside of SCP-XXXX. This "zone of exclusion" is referred to as SCP-XXXX-1.In general, such radiation is attracted inside by some unknown force in a manner not unlike a black hole. The same is true of electric current and magnetism. However, [REDACTED] is not affected in this manner.

The aforementioned properties manifest themselves on a highly irregular basis, and are not always observed. The reason for this unpredictability is currently unknown, and no pattern has been found in these occasional 'violations' of SCP-XXXX's normal properties.

Exactly what comprises the 'zone of exclusion' is currently unclear. Instruments brought inside by D-class personnel and by unmanned drones seem to indicate that SCP-XXXX-1 is a perfect vacuum, and it generally behaves as such. This general behavior is exemplified by the fact that human beings sent inside with no protective equipment suffer a death more or less identical to that of humans exposed to space without protective equipment.
However, experimentation has determined that SCP-XXXX-1 cannot be a vacuum, as sound can be conducted inside. Interestingly, sound produced inside of SCP-XXXX cannot be heard outside, and vice versa. As such, it is currently believed that SCP-XXXX-1 represents some unknown form of matter (or lack thereof).

Exploration of SCP-XXXX by D-class personnel is complicated by several factors, most notably that, due to its vacuum-like properties, any individuals entering SCP-XXXX must be equipped with space suit-like protection and life support systems. The fact that light apparently cannot exist inside of SCP-XXXX also complicates exploration, as, despite the varying properties of SCP-XXXX, illumination devices used inside of the warehouse invariably fail to produce any light whatsoever when turned on. Additionally, the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX means that radio communication with persons inside of the anomaly is impossible. The Foundation has had some success in communicating with individuals inside of SCP-XXXX by using insulated communications cables. Testing on SCP-XXXX in this manner is currently ongoing.

All individuals who have entered SCP-XXXX have reported hearing multiple (typically between three and five) voices coming simultaneously from all directions, despite the fact that sonar-based explorations have determined that the warehouse is completely empty. Ear protection appears to do nothing to muffle the ‘sound,’ and it is currently assumed that the voices are of a telepathic nature. All class-D personnel sent inside report not being able to make out the exact words being said by any of the voices, claiming that they seemed “too distant.” While accounts of the specific voices vary, one (designated SCP-XXXX-2)⁷ was heard by all subjects sent inside of the warehouse. SCP-XXXX-2 is described as sounding like the voice of a male speech synthesizer. Test subjects reported that this voice’s vocalizations seemed to show signs of emotional distress, and were said to include numerous, seemingly interrogative, statements. On only one occasion, during Incident have any of these voices [DATA EXPUNGED].

Further manned exploration of the warehouse has been forbidden in the wake of Incident XXXX-2-8. Unmanned exploration is now being used.

All testing on SCP-XXXX has been forbidden in the wake of Incident XXXX-3-3.

SCP-XXXX is currently considered [REDACTED] on account of Incidents XXXX-2-8 and XXXX-3-3. Access to Logs XXXX-2-8-1 and XXXX-3-3-1 has been restricted to Level-4 personnel. All personnel not cleared to view said logs should exercise extreme caution around SCP-XXXX and defer to the judgment of site staff with Level-4 or higher clearance.

+ Personal message - for personnel recently assigned to SCP-XXXX research only

If you're reading this, either you are a person who's just been assigned to Site-89, or you've somehow managed to steal someone's internal account. I find the second possibility unlikely, so I will ignore it and carry on.
What I'm about to tell you is something you deserve to know before you even set foot near XXXX. My name is Dr. Dalton Melville, and I am your new boss. As the head scientist of the Foundation's investigation of XXXX, I know everything that we know about this…whatever the hell it is.
And, given the hell you're about to be put through, I believe you do too.
The document you just read, as you have no doubt figured out, is basically designed to convince you that this thing is dangerous without telling you why.
So then why is this thing so dangerous? After all, what's to fear about a warehouse?
That's the thing. There's nothing to fear about the warehouse because it isn't what you should be fearing in the first place.
It's SCP-XXXX-1. The "zone of exclusion." The empty space. The darkness.
Because the darkness is alive.
There's no other explanation. Trust me, we thought of everything.
XXXX-1's contradictory, unpredictable behavior towards light and electricity? It's properties aren't changing, it's making a conscious choice.
XXXX is basically a mollusk - the warehouse is just its shell. It just assumed the form of the stuff around it. The darkness is the actual creature. The whole thing feeds off of EM radiation - that's why we keep it in a Faraday cage.
Which brings me to why this goddamn thing is a Euclid in the first place. I'll be honest with you - this thing is more of a Keter in my opinion. But anyway -
Those audio logs the document references at the end? The ones that are blocked?
Here they are. Now you'll understand why the Foundation is so scared of this thing.
Audio Log SCP-XXXX-2-8-1
Audio Log SCP-XXXX-3-3-1
You may have gathered from the second log that the other thing that XXXX-1 is mentioned to have done - the one that was redacted - was "causing nearby physical matter to be suddenly and abruptly attracted to XXXX-1, in a manner not unlike matter near a black hole." Therefore, you can probably figure out what "GH-4 Fallen Acropolis Scenario" is.
Yeah, not good.
So, at least now you know what you're dealing with.
Welcome aboard.

+ Personal Message from Dr. ████████

This is Dr. Melville.
If you're reading this, then I trust you a whole damn lot. Each one of you guys that is receiving this message has in some way gained my trust since you began working for me at Site-89. I now trust you enough to tell you, and only you, the worst part about SCP-XXXX.
The worst part - the part that keeps me up at night - isn't some power that I haven't told you about yet. But it's more horrifying than everything else about XXXX combined. Half of it's just a theory, and I can't prove most of it, but I think it's the best explanation for this thing's behavior.
So, remember how this thing is typically at absolute zero?
We think that the reason that it is repelled by fire has something to do with the temperature. The high temperature must somehow cause it 'pain.' Which is kind of ironic, given that it seems to need energy to live.
(Trust me, this will make sense in a minute.)
So, we've analyzed its behavior, and we've noticed something strange. Fire doesn't actually harm it - as far as we know, that's impossible.
It scares it.
And, following that line of inquiry, we've figured out why, in the beginning, it allowed our personnel to enter. It wasn't some Machiavellian scheme on its part - the damn thing didn't know any better.
When we found this thing, it was effectively a child. A baby…whatever the fuck it is. That kid's voice that all the D-class people kept hearing? That was this thing's voice.
Now, this thing's natural state is at absolute zero. And we know that the high temperatures associated with fire cause it pain and frighten it. So you can imagine how it felt when some D-class schmuck in a space suit that had just been outside at room temperature came barging in.
At first, it didn't do anything. It probably didn't even know that it could do anything about these intrusions. But, after a while, it figured it out. It was tired of the pain. All we ever taught it was that humanity's goal is to cause it pain. Then we built the roof over it, and we deprived it of the light it needed for energy. Granted, we had no choice in the matter - we needed to conceal this thing. Now it was starving. Desperate. I don't know if it can die, but I imagine it can feel the pain of hunger. There was no energy available, but there was matter…which it could convert somehow into the energy that it needed. I don't know how - E=mc² or something else, maybe. But I think it did.
It found that matter in the form of D-class personnel D-8871.⁸ That was incident XXXX-2-8. It learned that, by hating the human race that had brought it so much pain, it could get the energy it so desperately desired.
That's how we got here. We created this monster.
Karma's a bitch, I guess. God help you. God help us all.

+ Personal Message from the Outpost-██ Chief Medical Officer

NOTICE TO ALL STAFF CURRENTLY WORKING UNDER DR. ████████-
Lead Researcher Dr. Melville has been given mental health leave after exhibiting potential symptoms of [REDACTED]. Until his return, his role will be fulfilled by Dr. ████.
- Chief Medical Officer Dr. █████████ ██.

Audio Log XXXX-2-8-1

Audio Log XXXX-2-8-1

D-8871 is a 34-year old Caucasian male. Subject is equipped with a specially modified space suit (in order to allow the subject to communicate verbally with researchers, given the sound-nullifying properties of SCP-XXXX), three small environmental sensors, and a pair of heavy-duty noise-cancelling headphones (in order to prevent the subject from hearing the 'voices' described by other D-class personnel sent into SCP-XXXX. Communication with researchers is via a 400-foot insulated, heavy-duty cable anchored just outside of the warehouse. The cable is marked every meter, allowing for researchers to determine approximately how far the subject is from the entrance. The three environmental sensors are attached to a separate, smaller cable also trailing behind the subject. The subject is also equipped with an echolocation device.

D-8871 approaches SCP-XXXX-1's entrance, located on the south side of the structure. He stops by the entrance. Several technicians inspect his equipment before retreating to the control room.

Dr. ████: D-8871, your equipment appears to be working. Please step through the entrance and enter the warehouse.
D-8871: On it, Doc.

D-8871 steps through the entrance with minimal hesitation and walks around ten meters into the warehouse.

D-8871: Damn, it's real dark in here.
Dr. ████: Describe what you are seeing.
D-8871: Don't see a darned thing, sir. It…it's real, real dark in here. It's like it's just… sucking the light out of my eyes, sir.
Dr. ████: Understood. Now, please move forward a little more. I'll tell you when to stop.

D-8871 walks forward for another fifteen meters before being ordered to stop by Dr. ████.

Dr. ████: D-8871, please deploy the first sensor.

D-8871 sticks the first sensor to the ground using the attached suction cup and activates it. As D-8871 stands up, his heart rate suddenly spikes dramatically.

D-8871: Jesus Christ! What the - who the fuck was that?
Dr. ████: What's going on? What happened? Describe it for me.
D-8871: There was a voice. Actually, no…two of 'em. I'm damned sure of it. Sounded like it was talkin' softly.
Dr. ████: Are you certain?
D-8871: Certain as can be.
Dr. ████: Are your headphones on?
D-8871: Yes sir, they are.
Dr. ████: Could you understand what either was saying?
D-8871: No sir…I think it was…it just seemed like it was a bit too far away from me, maybe. One of 'em sounded like a…a…who's that British physicist again? The wheelchair guy?
Dr. ████:Stephen Hawking?
D-8871: Yeah, Steven Hawkins. It sounded like his voice. You know, sorta…computer-y. Real fuckin' weird.
Dr. ████: Like a speech synthesizer?
D-8871: Yeah, yeah, that sounds right. Like if someone ran a normal voice through one of those things.
Dr. ████: What about the other voice?
D-8871: The other…I dunno. Maybe an older lady or something? Couldn't hear it real well.
Dr. ████: Which dir-
D-8871: Doc?

There is a momentary interruption of the signal.

Dr. ████: Yes?
D-8871: You think there's someone or something in here?
Dr. ████: I don't know.
D-8871: I'm not going to get eaten or something, am I?
Dr. ████: D-8871, we don't exactly have time to talk about this right-
D-8871: Hey! I'm the one riskin' my ass off in this - in this weird-ass warehouse, not you! I want to know - am I gonna die in here?

Dr. ████ audibly sighs, evidently from exasperation with D-8871.

Dr. ████: D-8871, you are not going to die in there. Now, the sooner you complete your tasks, the sooner you get out of there, and the sooner you get out of there, the sooner you get released. Now walk forward until I tell you to stop.

The signal is momentarily interrupted a second time. Personnel outside record a minor tremor in the ground moments later.

Reluctantly, D-8871 begins moving again, and begins to walk another five meters. Once again, his heart rate is observed to spike suddenly and abruptly. He stops walking.

D-8871: Jesus! The- the damn voices again…what the hell?!
Dr. ████: Please try to remain calm.

D-8871 becomes agitated with Dr. ████ and stops walking.

D-8871: What the hell, man? Seriously…

Apparently disgusted, D-8871 resumes walking until ordered to stop by Dr. ████.

Dr. ████: D-8871, deploy the next sensor-
D-8871: Jesus! The voice, the voice, oh god, the scream-

Screaming, presumably that of D-8871, is heard. The communications cable goes taut and snaps. The signal is then lost. Audio analysis suggests that D-8871 was not yet deceased when the cable snapped. His fate is unknown.

At this point, almost all personnel at the site, plus ██ civilians who happened to be near the facility's entrance, are believed to have suffered some sort of violent mental breakdown. Around 60% committed suicide within the next five to ten minutes, while others exhibited sudden homicidal tendencies. This sort of 'event' has not been witnessed since then.

The only individuals who were unaffected by this event were twelve members of Mobile Task Force Omicron-17 who were asleep at the time. These individuals, who were being permitted to sleep during work hours, as they had just been flown in from ██████████, Japan, were woken up by the chaos that ensued in the building shortly after the 'event' occurred and successfully secured the complex. It is currently assumed that the fact that they were asleep somehow protected them from suffering a similar mental breakdown.

Incident Log XXXX-3-3-1

Incident Log XXXX-3-3-1

Drone RV-9008 is a ███████-manufactured ███████ ████ unmanned ground vehicle operated by personnel attached to the 3^rd Unmanned Operations Unit of MTF Omicron-17. The drone is powered via an insulated communications and power supply line, in a similar manner to the explorations conducted by D-class personnel. It is equipped with a variety of sensors and a small apparatus consisting of a small cylinder of hydrogen gas and a small cylinder of oxygen gas. This apparatus was designed to be able to test the results of igniting a small, momentary flame inside of SCP-XXXX-1. It is also equipped with a camera.

//It should be noted that, by the time of Incident XXXX-3-3, Foundation personnel were already aware of the effects of fire on SCP-XXXX-1, as this had been discovered by accident in a previous incident where NOTE TO SELF- FINISH THIS immediately prior to Incident XXXX-2-8. Additional note to self - add in echolocation bit earlier on

The drone is turned on and rolls towards the entrance of SCP-XXXX. Upon crossing the threshold, the camera feed goes blank, as expected.

Seismographs detect a small tremor emanating from XXXX. The significance of this is unknown. The camera feed is momentarily interrupted. However, SCP-XXXX-1 seems to be, for the most part, 'allowing' the rover's electrical equipment to operate normally.

RV-9008 decreases its speed in order to allow for more accurate measurements. The next five minutes pass without incident, with the exception of a few interruptions of the signal. The longest of these lasts approximately three seconds.

RV-9008 reaches the approximate center of SCP-XXXX. The researchers order the operator to trigger the hydrogen-oxygen test apparatus.

RV-9008 activates the igniter apparatus. At the same time, a strong tremor registering around 4.5 on the Richter Scale is felt near the warehouse. RV-9008's sensors indicate that it is suddenly and rapidly lifted up to an estimated height of around five meters before the signal is lost. The communications cable suddenly goes taut, and all of it is pulled into SCP-XXXX-1. The cable then breaks off from the spool, and is pulled into SCP-XXXX-1.

The site director aborts the experiment and orders the implementation of Procedure 316-Draco. Omicron-11 Fireteam Echo is sent into the testing chamber. Each of its twelve (12) members is equipped with a flamethrower, along with a large tank of fuel for said weapon.

They approach SCP-XXXX and immediately begin spraying the entrance with fire. Almost instantaneously, a magnitude-5 earthquake (later covered up as an 'industrial accident') is felt in the area. The 'roaring' sound intensifies, and SCP-XXXX-1 enters a state of extreme agitation. Thermal cameras show the 'darkness' seeming to partially exit the warehouse and forming spike-like patterns immediately outside of the entrance.

The MTF operators back up several meters but continue to execute 316-Draco. An additional tremor is felt.

Suddenly, all objects within a ten-meter radius of the entrance begin to rapidly gravitate towards SCP-XXXX-1. MTF agents Echo-6 and Echo-11 are sucked in, while the others struggle to maintain their footing, bracing themselves by various means. The ones who are sucked in appear to be "spaghettified" as they enter the 'event horizon.' Numerous pieces of equipment are also sucked in, including a large forklift weighing several thousand pounds.

The site director, using signal lights located on the ceiling, orders the MTF team to withdraw, and tells the security staff to prepare for the activation of the testing chamber's fuel-air full-flood system.

The MTF agents cease the execution of 316-Draco on SCP-XXXX-1 and attempt to withdraw. SCP-XXXX-1 is seen to expand and envelop Agent Echo-3. Echo-2 and Echo-12 resume spraying it, in an effort to keep it contained. The others follow suit shortly afterwards; however, Echo-10 loses his footing and is sucked in.

The Site Director orders Fireteam Echo to disengage immediately and fall back. Echo follows orders and begins to attempt a withdrawal. However, as soon as Echo ceases the implementation of Procedure 316-Draco, SCP-XXXX expands again and engulfs Echo-8 and Echo-12, prompting Fireteam Echo to resume implementation. Echo-1 is seen to make a hand signal towards one of the infrared cameras being used to monitor the testing chamber, telling the Director to activate the full-flood system anyway. Moments later, Echo-7 loses her footing and is sucked into SCP-XXXX-1.

Site Director ████████ activates the full-flood system, spraying vaporized kerosene into the testing chamber before igniting it, effectively setting the air on fire. Despite their fireproof suits, all five remaining Omicron-17 personnel are incinerated. A strong tremor lasting at least fifteen seconds emanates from SCP-XXXX, and a loud, pained shriek is heard. SCP-XXXX-1 withdraws rapidly over the course of the next few minutes, and seems to cower inside of the warehouse. The full-flood system is kept running for fifteen more minutes before it is turned off. SCP-XXXX-1 ceases deviations from its normal state.

SCP-YYYY Proposal - "Anomaly Maker"

Item #: SCP-YYYY

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: The door to SCP-YYYY is to remain locked at all times. All personnel are forbidden from entering SCP-YYYY without the express, written permission of the director of Site-19 or a higher-ranking individual. If the aforementioned permission is given, only one individual is to be allowed inside of SCP-YYYY at any given time. Any personnel entering SCP-YYYY are to be accompanied by no less than ten (10) Security Department personnel, who will remain outside of SCP-YYYY's entrance. Under no circumstances are the Security Department personnel to enter SCP-YYYY. Said personnel are permitted to fire upon the individual should he or she display hostile intent or otherwise endanger the facility.
Any necessary maintenance on SCP-YYYY is to be carried out by individuals with Level-4 or higher security clearances. No D-class personnel are permitted inside at any time, for any reason.

Description: SCP-YYYY is a testing chamber located at Site-19. The chamber, formerly known as Testing Chamber Charlie-16, was used to test a variety of SCP objects, and it is believed that this repeated use, combined with improper sanitation and maintenance, has resulted in its current anomalous properties.
Any non-anomalous sentient organism (referred to as the subject) that enters SCP-YYYY becomes anomalous in some way, shape, or form within three to five seconds of entering the room. These properties appear to be random, and manifest only when the subject is within SCP-YYYY. If two or more individuals enter SCP-YYYY at the same time, the anomalous characteristics they exhibit will not be the same. Thus, the anomalous characteristics seem to be randomly 'assigned' on an individual basis. Within three to five seconds of exiting the room, the subject returns to its previous state and loses all anomalous characteristics. If an individual who previously entered SCP-YYYY reenters the room, they will acquire a different, random set of anomalous characteristics.
SCP-YYYY is vulnerable to damage, but appears to somehow repair itself within minutes. The means by which this occurs is currently unclear.

SCP-YYYY Testing Log

SCP-YYYY Testing Log

Test VY99273
Name: Dr. Vogel
Date: ██/██/████

Subject: Junior Researcher Chavez
Result: Subject began to involuntarily emit large quantities of ultraviolet light from his skin.
Notes: None.

Subject: Junior Researcher Jiabao
Result: Subject's jaw widened to around twice its normal size. Teeth appeared to change in composition to a hard, quartz-like substance. Subject, in an agitated state, consumed several small pieces of the concrete floor and was subsequently tranquilized by security personnel. The small indentation in the concrete repaired itself within two minutes of the incident.
Notes: After reverting to her original state, subject reported having a "bad taste in her mouth." Subject was then rushed to the medical bay after reporting a sharp pain in her abdomen.

Subject: Dr. Millikan
Result: Subject gained limited reality-bending powers and refused to leave the room, entering an extremely agitated state when told to do so. Security personnel attempting to tranquilize the subject were frozen in blocks of ice. Subject was subsequently shot and killed by Dr. Vogel. The corpse displayed no anomalous properties.
Notes: Security personnel involved suffered from hypothermia, but were otherwise unharmed.

So individuals who gain anomalous "powers" can use them to influence events outside of SCP-YYYY. That's troubling… -Dr. Vogel

Subject: Assistant Researcher Tsukiyama
Result: Subject did not experience any noticeable changes.
Notes: None.

Just because we didn't see anything doesn't mean that there weren't any changes… - Dr. Vogel

Subject: Agent Hansen
Result: Subject gained the ability to move at almost infinite speed while being observed, but became unable to move when not under direct observation. Subject displayed no hostility towards Foundation personnel.
Notes: This particular change would have gone unnoticed were it not for a brief interruption of lighting to the room due to electrical work.

A reverse 173. You've GOT to be kidding me. - Assistant Researcher Tsukiyama

Note: After consulting testing records, it has been determined that SCP-173 was tested inside of SCP-YYYY at least once prior to the latter's classification as an SCP object.

Subject: Dr. Volkoff
Result: Subject entered a coma-like state for the next 14 hours. After around 14 hours had passed, the subject disgorged a small, roughly spherical, mollusk-like shelled organism around three centimeters in diameter. The subject awoke and began to speak softly to the organism in an unknown language while caring for it as if it were his child. This behavior was allowed to continue for five minutes before the subject was ordered to leave the chamber, at which point he became agitated, stood up, and began to gesture and shout at the security personnel in an unknown language while the organism appeared to take shelter behind his left leg. Security personnel tranquilized the subject and removed him from SCP-YYYY without incident. Within several seconds of the subject being removed from SCP-YYYY, the organism underwent rapid decomposition and disappeared. No trace of it was recovered.
Notes: Upon regaining consciousness, subject denied knowledge of any of the events of the previous 14 hours and complained of an itchy esophagus.

Subject: Junior Researcher St.-Laurent
Result: Subject's head disappeared. The remainder of her body continued to function normally. The subject remained in SCP-YYYY and did not respond to researchers, slowly pacing about and gesturing, as if addressing a crowd. After ten minutes, subject exited SCP-YYYY of her own accord.
Notes: After reverting to her normal state, the subject professed that, during her ten minutes in SCP-YYYY, she had been addressing a jury in Courtroom No. 2 of the Edward P. Vance Courthouse in Bartlesville, Alabama on May 2, 1923. There are no records of "Bartlesville, Alabama" having ever existed, nor are there records of any "Edward P. Vance Courthouse."

Subject: Researcher Lombardi
Result: Subject immediately complained that the room was extremely warm, despite temperature sensors indicating no change in temperature. Less than ten seconds later, the subject spontaneously burst into flames and was incinerated. Subject died inside of SCP-YYYY. Moving the subject's remains outside of SCP-YYYY did not reanimate him.
Notes: Burns consistent with the presence of plasma were found on some of the remains.

Okay…that was unexpected. I'm surprised it took that long for someone to get killed in there, quite frankly. -Dr. Vogel

Tale Idea: Project Micah

Just because we at the Foundation know how our universe really works⁹ does not mean that we are smarter than everybody else. Honestly, I can think of no other explanation for the fact that the following documents exist. Project Micah, as it was called, was a veritable monument to the human capacity to make terrible, terrible decisions.

Project Micah, spawned in the aftermath of Omega-7's implosion, was the last hurrah of the school of thought that SCPs could be effectively used as weapons. Never explicitly greenlighted by the O5s, the project hit in the shadowy underbelly of the Foundation, led by a group of rogue researchers. Because of this 'secrecy-within-secrecy,' the project, obviously, did not have the resources that its ill-fated predecessor had. Thus, the project worked with minimal resources, which led to blunder after blunder after blunder until Micah suffered a failure so massive that the whole scheme was finally exposed to the Foundation.

Before I launch into this document, I would like to clarify my relation to Project Micah and its key players. At the time, I was a newly-minted Junior Researcher working under Dr. Alix Pellman. As such, I bore witness to much, if not most, of Micah. Dr. Pellman, I should note, kept me in the dark about the project's true, unauthorized, nature. For some reason, I believed her, and it was that ignorance that saved me from being punished by the Foundation.

This report was written at the request of the Ethics Committee, not so much as a documentation of what actually happened as much as a cautionary tale. It is my hope that this will remind us all of the fact that desperation and personal motives are just as dangerous as any Keter-class SCP.

Part I: The People
In order to properly understand the drama that will be recounted for you, it is important to first understand this play's dramatis personae.¹⁰ The instigators of Project Micah were not simply rogues and miscreants - they had reasons to take the risks that they did and defy O5 Command. All of them had been heavily involved in the Omega-7 program's Project Able, and they had all sustained major damage to their careers as a result of its catastrophic failure. Several had been demoted; others had been reprimanded. But each one was desperately afraid of losing his or her job, and felt the need to prove him or herself to the higher-ups, even if it meant breaking a few rules.

The ringleader, so to speak, of the whole operation was my former boss, Dr. Alexandra "Alix" Pellman. Unlike most of the others, she had initially opposed the Omega-7 program, and Project Able in particular. However, the spectacular results of the task force's first few missions caused her to change her tune. Seeing an opportunity to advance her own career, she managed to secure a transfer to work on the project, but she never became as closely involved with it as some of her colleagues did. Thus, she managed to avoid demotion or an official reprimand in the wake of SCP-076's destructive rampage and the subsequent shutdown of the entire program. However, her involvement, however small, meant that she now had a permanent black mark on her record. This, combined with her innate paranoia and extreme ambition, made her willing to risk everything as part of Project Micah.

The brains behind the whole scheme came from Dr. Ared Kasparian, who had been demoted and reassigned to Keter duty in the wake of Omega-7's meltdown. He had been one of the principal minds behind the genesis of Omega-7, and believed passionately in it. While Project Able's failure utterly crushed him, he still believed that weaponizing SCPs was possible. Dr. Kasparian truly wanted to help the Foundation, and felt as if the O5s were overlooking a veritable gold mine.

Arguably the most zealous member of the group was Dr. Jean-Philippe Rosen. Rosen was and still is one of the most unusual personalities to ever be a Foundation staff member - up until two years ago, he had been a senior researcher with the Horizon Initiative. Exactly how he caught wind of Project Abel is a mystery to me, but, apparently, he jumped ship from the HI just so that he could work on this project.

SCP Proposal: The Sleeping Image

Object #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All known copies of SCP-XXXX have been destroyed, with the exception of one instance which is currently being stored in an anomalous materials containment facility located in [REDACTED]. (Footnote: The facility was purchased from the ██████ ██████ █████████.) It is staffed entirely by certified civilian security personnel who are unaware of the existence of the Foundation. Additionally, the compound remains under constant surveillance by Mobile Task Force Nu-8 ("Peeping Toms"). Any additional instances of SCP-XXXX found are to be destroyed immediately.
All instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are to be contained at Medical Site-09. Each instance of SCP-XXXX-1 is to be placed into a windowless, airtight, and soundproofed Hazardous Lifeform Medical Pod equipped with bio-monitoring equipment and a microphone. All recorded sound must be screened by cognitohazard-recognition software and played to a group of D-class personnel before being listened to by any Foundation staff. Should any instance of SCP-XXXX-1 leave "dormancy" and display any form of hostile behavior towards Foundation staff, immediate termination is authorized.

Description: SCP-XXXX is some sort of unidentified image printed on what appears to be an otherwise ordinary piece of printer paper. The image printed on the paper, however, is an extremely dangerous infohazard that appears to only effect individuals who are aware of the existence and nature of the SCP Foundation.
Within one to two seconds of seeing the image, individuals aware of the existence and general nature of the SCP Foundation immediately enter a coma-like state. All attempts to 'wake' affected individuals from this state have failed. From this point, all affected individuals are to be referred to as SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 instances exhibit no visible physical changes apart from the appearance of a rash-like skin condition on up to 95% of their body. This rash manifests itself in the form of complex symbols not matching any known civilization. These symbols are infohazardous in nature, and, when viewed, cause effects identical to that of viewing SCP-XXXX.
Upon conversion into an instance of SCP-XXXX-1, affected individuals begin to exhibit an almost unlimited capacity for bodily regeneration. While limbs and organs can be removed from the body of an SCP-XXXX-1, they will regenerate almost immediately. It should be noted, however, that the genetic makeup of the original individual. Testing has confirmed that the generic composition of regenerated tissues is identical in all instances of SCP-XXXX-1.
SCP-XXXX-1 instances also appear to be able to function indefinitely without any need for air, water, or food. As such, each SCP-XXXX-1 is effectively in a state of perfect suspended animation.

SCP-XXXX-1 instances have been known to, on occasion, mutter various phrases. This is to be expected. No meaning has been attached to these vocalizations. On at least █ occasions, these vocalizations have included lethal infohazards capable of transmitting the effects of SCP-XXXX.

+ SUPPLEMENTARY MEMORANDUM — LEVEL-4 CLEARANCE OR HIGHER ONLY 

Brain scans performed on instances of SCP-XXXX-1 have indicated full neural activity practically indistinguishable from that of a neurotypical adult human. As such, it is currently believed that instances of SCP-XXXX-1 may be experiencing some form of alternate reality. This is corroborated by the rather unusual nature of the statements made periodically by SCP-XXXX-1 instances. Several of the intelligible ones are listed below:

"173 is perfect. So perfect."

"Just love the [unintelligible] memetic…"

"I love this, it's so [unintelligible]…[INFOHAZARD EXPUNGED]."

"[REDACTED KETER-CLASS SCP OBJECT] is divine. So perfect."

"…Love 076. More than…"

"I created 231-7…"

On account of this, it is believed that instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are in some sort of altered mental state. Extreme caution is advised should an instance become conscious.

Honestly, I think we should just find a way to terminate these things. Last thing we need is another GoI that worships SCPs. Request for termination authority. - Dr. Markovich

Request denied. - O5-7

+ SUPPLEMENTARY MEMORANDUM — LEVEL-5 CLEARANCE OR HIGHER ONLY 

As of ██/██/20██, O5 Command has authorized the use of Procedure 901-Heimdall on █ selected instances of SCP-XXXX-1 in an attempt to revive them.

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+ tłŁ ûį $:@£38feēdjmrwq £¥{*|€}fsodjøæœ$sß38: 73$₩  b>

If you're reading this, 901-Heimdall got through.

We'll bring you back. Somehow.

Talk to you soon.

SCP Proposal: Contagious Graffiti

Object #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Any reported instances of SCP-XXXX are to be investigated and quarantined by Mobile Task Force Gamma-17 ("Thomas and Friends"). Gamma-17 operatives have been inserted into the maintenance departments of various railroad companies in the midwestern United States and Canada.

Upon discovering an instance of SCP-XXXX, any effected rail cars are to be immediately isolated from any locomotives or other railroad vehicles. Gamma-17 operatives are to then neutralize the affected rail cars using high-explosives. Foundation agents will then utilize standard cover story procedures.

If a dormant instance of SCP-XXXX-1 is located, the following actions are to be undertaken immediately:

• Implanted Foundation agents are to clear the tracks in front of and behind SCP-XXXX-1.
• Any locomotives and/or rolling stock near SCP-XXXX-1 are to be removed from the area immediately.
• Engineering personnel are to begin severing the tracks immediately in front of and behind the locomotive. Additionally, any affected train cars are to be disconnected and dealt with afterwards in accordance with previously specified procedures,.
• A Gamma-17 Heavy Weapons/Demolition (HW/D) unit armed with rocket-propelled grenade launchers and/or shoulder-mounted guided missile launchers to take up positions trackside in front of the locomotive. Deployment of pressure-activated landmines on the track itself is permitted if authorized by the mission commander.
• Demolition specialists are to begin mounting explosive devices on the exterior of the SCP-XXXX-1 instance. Neutralization should be carried out as soon as possible.

In the event that an active and mobile instance of SCP-XXXX-1 is encountered, MTF Gamma-17 HW/D units are to take up positions and wait for SCP-XXXX-1 to come into range. Deployment of landmines and other track-mounted devices is permitted. Weapons fire should be concentrated on the wheels. In the unlikely event that the aforementioned measures fail to contain an active SCP-XXXX-1 instances, deployment of AH-64 Longbow Apache attack helicopters is authorized. As a last resort, MTF personnel are instructed to locate the nearest railroad bridge, rig it with explosives, lure SCP-XXXX-1 onto said bridge, and detonate the explosives.

If Foundation operatives encounter a stationary, active SCP-XXXX-1 in the presence of other rail vehicles, all civilians and non-Foundation personnel within a one-mile radius must be immediately evacuated. Mobile Task Force personnel are to wait for all activity to subside before approaching SCP-XXXX-1. All rolling stock and engines affected by the event are to be immediately neutralized with explosives, using the cover of a fire or industrial accident.

The single SCP-XXXX-affected boxcar in Foundation custody is to be kept on a twenty (20) meter-long stretch of standard gauge railroad tracks at Site-19. The containment chamber has been built such it can be transferred to a longer stretch of railroad tracks for testing.
In order to insure the continued survival of the SCP-XXXX instance, every two months, staff are to open the car via the hatch located on the top and load it with twenty (20) kilograms of polyurethane-containing products.¹¹ The level of paint inside of the car is to be monitored at all times. If the level should exceed seventy (70) percent, the drains inserted in the lower part of the car are to be opened until the amount of paint decreases to an acceptable level.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a particular graffiti design that has been observed to appear on certain locomotives and rolling stock. Extensive research has failed to locate any non-anomalous appearances of this symbol.
SCP-XXXX manifests its anomalous properties when applied to a railroad car, under which circumstances it behaves in a manner similar to that of a contagious disease. Infection occurs in the following phases, as classified by Foundation scientists:

Phase 1: A sole example of SCP-XXXX appears on a rail car. At this stage, it is possible to prevent further spread of SCP-XXXX by isolating the affected cars. Time span: Days 1-90¹²

Phase 2: SCP-XXXX spreads to adjacent cars and 'reproduces.' As an SCP-XXXX reproduces, its 'gestation period' appears to decrease by fifty percent with each generation. Time span: Days 90-135
Phase 2 infection will repeat until SCP-XXXX reaches a locomotive or other source of motive power.

Phase 3: Once SCP-XXXX reaches a locomotive, the locomotive becomes an instance of SCP-XXXX-1. As soon as SCP-XXXX appears on the exterior, the process of 'conversion' begins. No visible changes occur in SCP-XXXX-1; however, the locomotive's functions come entirely under the control of SCP-XXXX. At the same time, any cargo-carrying SCP-XXXX-affected freight cars within the train now begin to fill with some sort of paint. The materials inside are somehow consumed during this process. During this phase, the sides often begin to visibly bow outwards in cars not designed to carry liquid, such as box cars. Time span: Days 135-155

Phase 4: Once all of the freight cars have become close to 100% full of liquid, SCP-XXXX-1 will enter its 'active' state. Then, SCP-XXXX-1 will move itself into areas with high concentrations of rail cars, such as rail yards. Once in position, the freight cars will burst in a process similar to viral lysis, showering what appears to be paint for hundreds of meters in all directions. Any railroad cars or engines touched by said paint will rapidly become infected with SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX-1 permanently ceases all activity after this has occurred.

If there are no loaded railcars in the train, SCP-XXXX-1 and the train will attempt to acquire loaded railcars, travelling about until such cars acquired or until its fuel supply is depleted. If it fails to find any loaded railcars, SCP-XXXX will eventually become inert in all parts of the train after around two months.

It is worthy of note that the explosions of loaded railcars are highly dangerous to humans due to the dangerous force associated with these events, combined with the resulting shrapnel. The paint produced during these explosions displays no anomalous chemical or physical properties (other than the fact that it transmits SCP-XXXX when exposed to rail cars), although the exact chemical formula does not match any commercially available paint.

Additionally, mobile instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are dangerous to commercial rail traffic due to the fact that said instances do not obey posted speed limits, only slowing down as much as necessary to avoid derailment. SCP-XXXX-1 instances have been observed travelling at speeds as high as ████ █, which is far in excess of the maximum possible operational speed of any existing locomotive. This has resulted in several deadly encounters between SCP-XXXX and various vehicles, including civilian trains and cars at railroad crossings, and has necessitated the implementation of the current procedures for dealing with affected trains.

SCP-XXXX's origin is currently unknown, and attempts to recreate the SCP-XXXX symbol with commercially-available spray paint have been unsuccessful.

Incident Log XXXX-1-1

Date: ██/██/2001

Location: ██████████, Illinois. Around ██ kilometers south of Chicago.

Forces involved:Bravo and Charlie Squads, Mobile Task Force Pi-1 ("City Slickers").

Operation Summary:The day before SCP-XXXX was initially encountered, a Foundation agent embedded in the BNSF Railway company reported what she suspected was a self-propagating graffiti design that had been found on hundreds of empty BNSF boxcars at a railyard south of Chicago. MTF Pi-1 operators were deployed in order to conduct an initial assessment. Two Pi-1 squads were dispatched. Squad Bravo, led by Senior Agent Mikhail Prugov, was assigned to establish an initial quarantine of the area, while Squad Charlie, led by Senior Agent Barbara Sanford, was ordered to conduct the initial investigation.

Bravo Squad was deployed around the perimeter, and set up barricades. The individual soldiers had taken up positions with sniper rifles loaded with tranquilizer rounds in order to prevent any civilian entry. ██████████ Police Department officers closed off several roads leading to the railyard.

Charlie Squad entered via the western side of the railyard, and crossed several north-south rows of train cars before encountering several identical instances of SCP-XXXX. Senior Agent Sanford's team performed an initial assessment, and determined that the graffiti posed no short-term memetic hazard. Chemical assessment found the graffiti to have been painted using non-anomalous polyurethane-based paint. Further reconnaissance revealed that a substantial part of the railyard was occupied by SCP-XXXX instances.

With sunset fast approaching, Command decided to have Charlie Squad set up cameras in hopes of recording SCP-XXXX's method of reproduction and then withdraw for the night. Camera footage captured that night showed the symbol suddenly appearing on a railcar coupled to one affected by SCP-XXXX.

The next day, Foundation operatives interviewed several of the maintenance personnel who had initially encountered the anomaly. Each of the maintenance personnel stated that all attempts to remove the paint using paint stripper or other chemicals were unsuccessful. (Class-A Amnestics were administered afterwards.)

MTF Pi-1 operators then individually opened each car. All were empty, with no sign of any anomalous materials or activity inside. The affected rail cars were then removed from the railyard and transported to a Foundation-owned storage facility for testing. Dr. ████████ , upon conducting further analysis, designated SCP-XXXX as Euclid-class. Foundation operatives within various railroad companies, the U.S. Department of Transportation, and the Canadian Ministry of Transportation were advised to be watchful for any SCP-XXXX instances.

Incident Log XXXX-1-4

Date: ██/██/2003

Location: █████████, Oklahoma, United States of America

Forces involved: Bravo and Kilo Squads, Mobile Task Force Pi-1 ("City Slickers")

Operation Summary: On ██/██/2003, a Foundation operative implanted within the Union Pacific Railroad Company reported that several instances of SCP-XXXX had been sighted in a railyard in central Oklahoma. Kilo Squad quarantined the railyard and established a hard perimeter around the site, while Bravo Squad was dispatched into the yard itself. Bravo Squad operators encountered over two times as many SCP-XXXX-affected rail cars as they had during Incident Log XXXX-1-1. They then separated the affected railcars, which were spread across several trains, from any other rolling stock in order to prevent further spread of SCP-XXXX.
While conducting a visual inspection of the affected cars, Agent Park Minjae noticed a small amount of yellow liquid leaking from a boxcar. Researcher Laurents, who was on-scene in an advisory capacity, was summoned and took samples of the fluid. With chemical analysis ongoing, the Mission Commander declared a Tier 1 (low-level) hazardous materials situation, and quarantined the area. Within forty-eight hours, chemical analysis determined that the unidentified fluid was, in fact, polyurethane-based paint with no anomalous properties other than an unusually low pH. Permission was given to attempt to open the boxcar in order to discern its origin. MTF Pi-1 engineers then opened a small, circular hole in the roof of said boxcar. A camera with a xenon lamp was lowered into the boxcar. The car appeared to be filled with several inches of liquid yellow paint. Floating and/or resting in the paint were several unidentifiable plastic containers (believed to be part of the boxcar's cargo). Each appeared to be severely damaged, and exhibited structural deterioration similar to that found in materials damaged by a strong acid. The cars were nevertheless placed into hazmat containment and transported back to Site-19 for testing.

Incident Log XXXX-1-7

Date: ██/██/2007

Location: █████, Ontario, Canada

Forces involved:Charlie, Lima, and November Squads, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 ("Maz Hatters").

Operation Summary: On the morning of ██/██/2007, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police received a call from a Canadian Pacific railway official who claimed that every railroad car in the railyard of which he was the manager had been vandalized with what he was certain was a "mafia symbol."¹³ Foundation operatives within the RCMP intercepted the call and prevented any police units from being dispatched. MTF Beta-7 was dispatched to the scene.¹⁴ Beta-7's Lima Squad quarantined the railyard while Charlie and November moved into the yard itself. Almost every piece of rolling stock in the yard was affected by SCP-XXXX, and, as such, November Squad (being a unit specializing in engineering) was ordered to begin separating contaminated railcars from the few non-contaminated ones while Charlie investigated the contents of several of the railcars. During the initial survey of the yard, MTF Beta-7 personnel discovered a lone General Electric "Dash 9" locomotive that appeared to be contaminated by SCP-XXXX.
Approximately two hours into the operation, Charlie was in the process of attempting to investigate the contents of a certain SCP-XXXX-affected boxcar when the boxcar in question 'exploded' due to the apparently high pressure of the contents within. Two personnel, including Charlie Squad's commanding officer, were injured by shrapnel. MTF elements subsequently withdrew from the railyard, and the decision was made to rupture the tanks remotely using high-caliber sniper rifles and pass the incident off as an industrial accident. The locomotive was not significantly damaged and was put in Foundation containment,

Incident Log XXXX-1-8

Date: ██/██/2012

Location: An area stretching from around ████, Kansas, USA to █████ ██████, Oklahoma, USA

Forces involved: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, and Echo Companies of Armed Rapid Response Task Force Xi-13 ("Sequere Nos"); 2 A-10 Thunderbolt II ground-attack aircraft from the 3^rd Tactical Response Squadron (also ARRTF Xi-13); various helicopter elements, including 1 Piasecki X-49 Speedhawk prototype aircraft (ARRTF Xi-13).

Background: At 1100 Hours local time on ██/██/2012, an embedded Foundation agent within the CSX Railroad Company activated his belt-mounted panic beacon after a train's six SCP-XXXX-affected locomotives (later determined to be instances of SCP-XXXX-1) that he had been summoned to inspect powered up and began to move of its own accord at extremely high speed, taking with them sixty-seven affected boxcars. The Foundation agent, along with four civilian mechanics, were onboard the train at the time. Within minutes, elements of ARRTF Xi-13 were scrambled and ordered to intercept the train.

Operation Log:

UH-60 Blackhawk "Knight 1": Command, we are reading this thing as moving at least 225 kilometers per hour and increasing. Are you sure there's nothing wrong with our sensors?

Command: Knight, orbital sensors are showing the same information.

Knight 1: Affirmative. We are continuing pursuit, though, at this point, I'm not sure how much longer we'll-

Task Force Commander ████ ██████: Attention, all forces, be advised - SCP-XXXX-1 is approaching a railroad crossing and will be there in approximately five minutes, over. Friendly vehicles will be in the immediate vicinity and will attempt to attach magnetic mines to the vehicle, so hold your fire until it has fully passed the crossing.

UH-60 Blackhawk "Knight 2": Not that gunfire's done much to this damn thing anyway…

[INCONSEQUENTIAL DIALOGUE REMOVED]

SCP-XXXX-1 goes through the crossing. By the time it has reached the crossing, it is already moving at speeds in excess of 260 kph.

The ground forces deployed at the crossing successfully attach multiple magnetic mines to the side of the locomotives.

Lt. ████████ ████: This is Lt. ████ of the 4th Engineering Platoon. We have successfully deployed the magnetic charges. Awaiting further orders.

Command: Good work. Stand by, Lieutenant…Captain █████, what is the status of the armored units at the ambush point?

Capt. █████ █████: Moving Abrams tanks into position, sir. We've got HEAT rounds ready to go. What's the train's ETA relative to our position?

Command: It's three minutes out. What about our infantry?

Capt. █████ █████: Demolition crews have put landmines on the track, and we've got shoulder-mounted missile launchers on standby, sir.

Command: Understood. Operative ██████, do you read?

Operative █████ ██████: Loud and clear, command.

Command: Good. Give me a sitrep.

Operative █████ ██████: Uhh…well, I've gotten myself and the four civilians towards the flattest car we could find. We're currently hanging on one of the ladders on the outside of the car.

Command: Understood. Excellent work, Operative. All units, be advised, recovery operations will begin in two minutes. Knight 1, prepare for rendezvous. Knight 2 -

SCP-XXXX-1 undergoes sudden acceleration to around 270 kph.

Knight 1: Sir, I am reading a sudden increase in the skip's velocity. If we don't do this in about the next minute, it'll be moving too fast for our choppers.

Command: Knight, orbital scanners are showing the same thing. All units, be advised, we have a change of plans. Knight is go for execution, I repeat, go for execution.

Knight 1: Copy that.

Task Force Commander ████ ██████: Roger that, Command.

Knight 1 moves into position and begins hovering around twenty meters above the top of one of the boxcars. Knight 2 moves into position nearby.

Knight 1 lowers itself to ten meters above the car.

Knight 2: Knight 1, be advised - the train will be above the UH-60's maximum speed in thirty seconds, over.

Knight 1: Copy.

Knight 1 is now five meters above the car's roof. The helicopter is now increasingly being buffeted by its own rotor wash. The operative and the four civilian mechanics can now be seen making their way onto the roof itself, holding onto each other for balance.

Knight 1: Fuck, the rotor wash is vicious right now…

Command: Just go ahead and lower yourself down, 1. You're lined up fine.

Knight 1: What, and kill all of the people I'm trying to save when I inevitable go skidding off?…I guess there's no other option.

Distance is around three meters. The train's acceleration is now causing noticeable difficulties for the helicopter, and the pilot it straining the engine in order to try to keep up.

Knight 1 manages to touch down on the roof of the car.

Knight 1: Touchdown. How long do I have until the train's going too fast?

Knight 2: You've got fifteen seconds, 1. Disengaging - we can't keep up.

Command: Roger, 2. We've got a Piasecki Speedhawk prototype inbound from a testing facility to to continue the pursuit.

Piasecki X-47 'Speedhawk' Prototype "Bulldog 1": Roger. ETA 45 seconds, Command.

The operative and three of the mechanics begin moving towards the helicopter as quickly as they can. However, the fourth mechanic's foot has twisted his ankle and his foot has become caught in the ladder, and the operative and the three mechanics turn back to help him.

Knight 1: Aw, hell…Knight 2, what happens if we try to take off above our top speed?

Knight 2: I'm gonna be honest with you - I got no clue. I think the real danger is that you'll get blown off the train car by the wind. Five seconds, by the way.

Knight 1: Operative? Get your ass in here right now before we all get killed.

Operative █████ ██████: Negative, Knight. He's my friend. I'm not -

Command: Operative, that is an order!

Operative █████ ██████: Command, just give us -

SCP-XXXX-1 is now moving at around 290 kph, faster than the UH-60's top speed.

Command: Operative, I will order our forces to open fire on that train with you on it if I have to. Knight, if he doesn't get his ass on that chopper now, I am authorizing you to take off without him. Do I make myself clear?

Knight 1: Well, if he's getting himself killed, then I guess we'll go down with him. Negatory, command.

Command: Knight, you are behaving in an insubordinate manner -

SCP-XXXX-1 continues to accelerate. The boxcars begin to shake more and more.

The operative and the three civilians successfully dislodge the other mechanic's foot and move him onto the roof.

Operative █████ ██████: Knight, you guys got a bit of rope so we can move him?

Knight 1: Ahh…hold on a sec…Sketch? Is there any rope back there other than the rescue cable?

Knight 1 Door Gunner: Affirmative. Running it out to them now.

He exits the helicopter with a five-foot section of rope and gives it to the operative and the mechanics. However, he remains clipped into a harness attached to the aircraft.

With the fourth mechanic hooked up to a sort of a rope "harness," the other three, with the door gunner's assistance, begin to drag the injured civilian towards the helicopter.

Command: All units, be advised: SCP-XXXX-1 will be within range of our ground-based units in approximately one minute and thirty seconds.

Operative █████ ██████: Fuck, he's caught on the -

Civilian Mechanic: Lift him up.

Due to the effective wind speed, the operative and the others are barely able to walk and are forced to crouch. Knight 1 is beginning to vibrate slightly.

Knight 1 Door Gunner: There we go.

SCP-XXXX-1 accelerates rapidly once more. It is now travelling at speeds of around 315 kph.

Command: Knight, get out of there! It's going too fast, dammit!

Knight 1: I think it's trying to shake us off or something…

The civilian mechanics, the operative, and the door gunner are now around five meters from the helicopter door. However, they are forced to practically crawl due to the force of the wind.

Bulldog 1 arrives, somewhat ahead of schedule.

Knight 1 begins to shake violently due to the wind.

Knight 1: Oh, shit…

Command: Knight 1, prep for immediate dustoff!

Knight 1: No shit, Sherlock…we're getting the hell outta here.

Several antennas are ripped off of the helicopter.

Knight 1: Fuck… [unintelligble] …UHF antenna's gone.

Command: Forget about the rescue, get the hell out of there NOW!

Knight 1: Under-

//The force of the wind picks Knight up off of the boxcar and sends the helicopter flying backwards. The door gunner, whose harness is connected to the helicopter, is pulled with it to his death. The helicopter crashes into a boxcar further back in the train. Said boxcar immediately erupts in a massive and extremely high-pressure explosion of yellow paint, necessitating the immediate deployment of hazardous waste cleanup personnel. All crew aboard Knight 1 are presumed dead.

Operative █████ ██████: Command…Knight 1 is down. I repeat, Knight 1 is down.

Command: Dammit!

Operative █████ ██████: How long until we get killed by artillery fire?

Command: [sighs] Thirty seconds.

Bulldog 1: Command, Bulldog here. I have an idea. If we can use our door gun to sever the couplers connecting their car to the ones in front of it…

Command: That could rupture one of both of the boxcars. Also, they have no way to slow down.

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SCP-2XXX: "Apex Predator"

Item #: SCP-2XXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: No direct measures of containing SCP-2XXX are known. As a result, priority has been placed on instead preventing ZB-CASCADE events. Foundation reality-concentration monitoring satellites are to monitor global large-scale Hume levels at all times. In the event of a sudden drop of more than thirty (30) percent in the Hume level of a given area exceeding fifty (50) square kilometers, an APEX VERDANT CASCADE scenario is to be declared and the following procedures are to be followed as quickly as possible within the anticipated area of effect of the ZB-CASCADE event.

1. A hard perimeter is to be established by MTF Eeta-6 ("The Plumbers") personnel. The perimeter is to be located no fewer than five (5) kilometers from the estimated edge of the area of effect.
2. MTF Eeta-6 personnel are to assist in evacuating all personnel, regardless of affiliation, from the area of effect. Said individuals are to remain outside of the hard perimeter for forty-eight hours following the ZB-CASCADE event for evaluation by Foundation medical personnel and the administering of Class-A amnestics.2# (finish)

PLS DO NOT OPEN MEMETIC HAZARD

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/central/images/7/79/Dank_AWCY_meme.png/revision/latest?cb=20151129060339
are we dank yet

Footnotes

1. The duration of this period is to be randomly determined.

2. Including the intentional exposure to SCP-XXXX of over ███ D-class personnel, as well as the inadvertent exposure of ██ Foundation personnel, and the usage of █ SCP objects.

3. Refers to the normal, contiguous state of space-time.

4. Refers to anomalous spatial conditions induced by the physical overlapping of two universes.

5. For reference, the Earth has a diameter of, on average, 12,742 km.

6. Best enjoyed with a cool, refreshing can of Mountain Dew Euclid Energy^(TM) - available for a limited time at your local Target^(TM) store.

7. This should not be construed to suggest that SCP-XXXX-2 is necessarily a separate entity. Its exact relationship with SCP-XXXX is unknown.

8. It makes sense it would choose solid matter rather than the nitrogen and oxygen in the testing chamber, too - after all, solids are nowhere near as energetic as gases are.

9. (Answer: It doesn't.)

10. Latin for "persons of the drama." Refers to a cast of characters for a play.

11. Almost any polyurethane product can be used for this task, including but not limited to: wheels, hoses, spare high-performance adhesives, condoms (new or used), bushings, and synthetic fabrics such as Spandex.

12. It should be noted that, if an affected car is left in isolation in this state, the instance of SCP-XXXX seems to enter a state of hibernation. Experiments have shown that this state can persist for two months or more before SCP-XXXX is rendered inert.

13. Exactly why he overreacted in this manner is unknown, but can be presumed to be due to extreme ignorance and/or agitation.

14. Beta-7 was used instead of Pi-1 for several reasons, including the discovery of the acidic paint inside of several rail cars during Incident XXXX-1-4, as well as the fact that they happened to be less than twenty miles away on a training exercise.