Tagliafierro

I use collapsibles because they are cute.

Ideas in case I get unbanned:

-Animals disguising as carpets. Used to produce and sell "Carpet Milk".
-A pamplet appearing on store owner's homes, asking them to collaborate. Should the owner accept, all items sold by the owner will display anomalous activities, and the 10% of monthly profits will disappear.

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STUFF

CURRENT DRAFT

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Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Lunar Containment Area-14 has been established on the Mare Nubium for the purpose of containing SCP-X. Foundation Autonomous Exploration Vehicle Upsilon-Kappa-81 (“Desire”) is to be constantly stationed inside SCP-X in order to record all events within the structure.

The Foundation shall liase with NASA and ESA in order to halt explorations of the Mare Nubium.

Update: As of ██-██-██ has been reclassified as Safe. SCP-X-A’s remains are to be held within a Class-XI Containment Vault in Lunar Containment Area-14

Description: SCP-X is a red cylindrical structure located within the Mare Nubium of the lunar surface at [REDACTED] coordinates, measuring ██m in height and ██m in diameter. Within the structure are present [REDACTED] humanoid entities, referred to as SCP-X-1. Most instances of SCP-X-1 appear to be superficially identical to humans, although some have been observed to possess several deformities, such as proportionally larger eyes and flatter faces. These entities do not appear to be sapient. All instances are held within 2m x 2m x 2m transparent cubes, which can only be opened by SCP-X-A.

SCP-X-A is a 1.96m tall orange humanoid entity. A third arm protrudes from SCP-X-A’s neck in the place of its head. SCP-X-A does not react to external stimuli, and will exclusively interact with instances of SCP-X-B.

SCP-X-B refers to beings of unknown, possibly extra-terrestrial or extra-dimensional origin. Instances of SCP-X-B will aperiodically manifest for a period of two minutes. The entities will often approach captive instances of SCP-X-1, which will then be released by SCP-X-A. Both instances of SCP-X-1 and SCP-X-B will then promptly demanifest.

Addendum:

REWRITES

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Item #: SCP-2115

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2115 cannot be contained, but access to it should remain limited using standard internet censoring tools. Requests to shut down SCP-2115 has been denied1 due to the possibility of an unfavourable reaction from SCP-2115-B leading to a possible Class 7 Information Breach. When left undisturbed, SCP-2115-B and the people who interact with them appear to be harmless. The number of people using SCP-2115 should be closely monitored but no attempt should be made to lower that number as long as it remains within the acceptable range outlined in Addendum 2115-C11. In the event of an instance of SCP-2115-B emerging from SCP-2115, Mobile Task Force Pi-1 is to be deployed to contain the instance and bring it back to Site 211-D for questioning.

Description: SCP-2115 is a website which currently has the web address ..ww.FEED███████.ww.█████.com.www. Further analysis has led to the discovery that this website is hosted on a larger web based server used by sapient lifeforms across a large number of extrasolar planets. How SCP-2115 is accessible from Earth computers is unknown.

SCP-2115 is functions as a website which allows hundreds of different sapient species to interact with each other through text, video, audio, and [DATA EXPUNGED], often with the purpose of finding friendship or companionship. Humans who access SCP-2115 frequently do so with the intention of attempting to enter romantic relationships with extraterrestrial and extra-dimentional beings (referred to in this document as SCP-2115-B.)

Whenever a person successfully enters into a relationship with SCP-2115-B, they are given the opportunity to be transported from the device accessing SCP-2115 to meet the instance of SCP-2115-B that they have become companions with. This service is provided by the website and carried out through unknown means. Approximately ██.█% of successful relationships end in this manner. No action needs to be taken in such a situation. Approximately █.█% of successful relationships lead to an instance of SCP-2115-B coming to Earth and in this situation, the relevant containment procedures must be carried out.

Addendum 2115-C11: Below are excerpts from the Application Form for SCP-2115, translated in English. It should be noted that there were also options to see the form translated in Latin, Esperanto, Mandarin Chinese, as well as ███ other languages presumably used on other planets. The full form is approximately 8 pages long.

1) NAME:

2) SPECIES:

3) ORGANIC:

[ ] YES
[ ] NO

4) NUMBER OF PERSONALITIES: (this also includes the number of souls within host body)

5) NUMBER OF POISONOUS BODY PARTS: (list all potentially toxic bodily fluids and gasses in this area)

6) TYPE OF EXTREMITIES:

[ ] Claws
[ ] Tentacles
[ ] Hands
[ ] [DATA EXPUNGED]
[ ] Other
[ ] None

7) PHYSICAL OR CHEMICAL HAZARDS: (tick all that apply)

[ ] Radioactive
[ ] Acidic
[ ] Oxidising
[ ] Other (Please specify: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _)

8) DO YOU PREFER SPENDING TIME INDOORS OR OUTDOORS?

[ ] Indoors
[ ] Outdoors
[ ] No Preference

9) ARE YOU SEEKING A RELATIONSHIP?

[ ] Y
[ ] N
*(please note the number of people you would like to enter a relationship with)

23) DOES YOUR SPECIES ENJOY SEXUAL INTERCOURSE:

[ ] Y
[ ] N
[ ] Neutral

24) DOES SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITHIN YOUR SPECIES LEAD TO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

[ ] death of one participant
[ ] death of all participants
[ ] extreme pain to any participant
[ ] spawn
[ ] murderous intent
[ ] very angry parents
[ ] sudden promotion to queen or king of a large colony
[ ] the complete destruction of one or more ecosystems
[ ] Other (Please specify: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _)

*If sexual intercourse leads to personality change make a note of what this entails below:

*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

25) EXISTENCE OF ADAPTIVE REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS:

*In this case, if sexual intercourse leads to a high chance of death from giving birth (painful or otherwise), note details below:

*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

56) HOBBIES AND INTERESTS:

*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

57) DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

*(click »here« for a description of the difference between a pet and a slave)

58) TYPE A SHORT DESCRIPTION OF YOURSELF:

*(due to the non-universal understanding of what constitutes as short, please attempt to not write more than {translated: ONE PAGE} of information about your personality and past. ONLY RELEVANT INFORMATION PLEASE.)

Alongside this form is a link that leads to a list of all the different species that currently use SCP-2115 alongside a general description of them, and their population. This was used to find out that there are currently ████ humans from Earth using SCP-2115, as well as [REDACTED] humans apparently from other worlds or dimensions. An extended log of findings based on research of the different instances of SCP-2115-B can be found in Research Log 2115-C11.

Addendum 2115-C12:

Addendum 2115-C13: Upon further exploration of the website, a note was found at the bottom of the home page, shown below:

Extra-social Extra-solars™ - ESES™

ESES™ is not liable for any physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, mechanical, technological, [DATA EXPUNGED], or other previously undiscovered type of harm to any users of the site, nor are they liable for any unsatisfactory relationships that may come about from using our website.

A subsidiary of F.E.E.D. INTERACTIONS

Good luck and happy interacting!

FINISHED/ON HOLD DRAFTS

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illusion-50c4a79266e0e.jpg

SCP-XXXX-A.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-A and -B are to be contained within an United Humanoid Containment Chamber at Site-98. The chamber is to be furnished with basic Foundation-issued luxuries as long as long as cooperation is continued. The entities are to be fed daily with respectively 2 kg and 1.5 kg of clay.

Discussions between the entities are to be recorded and transcribed in Document XXXX-13-WE. Interviews and testing with SCP-XXX-A and/or -B require the approval of at least 1 Level 4 personnel.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a pair of humanoid entities, mostly composed of greasepoint, clay and synthetic fiber, referred to as SCP-XXXX-A and SCP-XXXX-B. Despite lacking sexual organs, each entity possess characteristics recalling the 2 sexes.

Each entity simultaneously resembles the frontal and sagittal view of a non-anomalous human being, possessing 2 arms originating from an area roughly analogous to the shoulder and back, and a singular leg, terminating with a circular foot. The entities' cardiovascular, respiratory and digestive systems are fused into a single large organ, the operation of which remains unclear, and are completely devoid of a skeletal structure.

However, both are perfectly capable of locomotion and vocalization.

Addendum: