Field Report Kallio

Note: This is the transcript of an audiovisual report compiled by Special Agent Kallio, FID: 1291-delta-29. Said agent was assigned to a Stasis-In-Place Covert Insertion Platform on the outskirts of Hakone City immediately prior to quarantine being established. S.A. Kallio was chosen for this role due to her familiarity with SCP-401a0, and general immunity to all known cognitohazardous effects after exposure to SCP-███ and SCP-████ during a containment breach at Site 19.

Transcript of Cached Audio Report.

October 31, 2017

0900. Special Agent Raqwel Jemma Kallio, first entry, October 31, 2017, assignment is covert reconnaissance of SCP-401a0 quarantine. I have been in-freeze about 15 months. Woke up 5 days ago, finally able to move around under my own power. Pills ought to take care of the rest. Control says they thawed me out because they've finally come up with a way to fool the dash-1s. I have loaded this "fake skip" program onto my tablet.

I will be narrating my observations via bone-induction implant with a sub-vocal register. These recordings should be relayed to this SIP installation and then forwarded to Control.

0910. Entrance to SIP is disguised as an access hatch in the crawl space of a high-voltage utility shed in an electrical substation. Constant hum suggests local infrastructure not as damaged as forecast. Perimeter appears disturbed, clear evidence of heavy tread in gravel, but nothing bad enough to wake me up early. Fence intact. A maintenance crew?

0930. I am following a road on a hill which overlooks Hakone City. Intel projects that skip concentration would drift this way over time. Too early to confirm if that has occurred. City appears to be intact. There appears to be light traffic.

0936. Two people approaching now. Two males. Older is mid-40s, 50s, hair crudely died red-pink. Younger is early 20s, hair is died blonde. My tablet, mounted forward, has dinged the Asuka and shifted to that alignment.

They are passing by. The blond one has his hands bound behind his back. His eyes are torn out. Is he a Rei or a Kaworu, or a deviant Asuka? That character is sometimes portrayed as blond. The obvious Asuka is leading him by a leash cinched tight around his neck. Asuka glares at me and says "mine", before pulling the blond man along. Where are they going? There's nothing up here.

1120. Hiding on the second story of an abandoned building. Firefighters and police are swarming across the street.

Once at the main road, stopped at convenience store. Man the fake skip tagged as a Mari was sitting behind the counter. Last intel was Maris were non-anomalous, but this one was wearing improvised horn-rimmed red glass frames (without lenses) and approximation of a canonical outfit. Fake skip flashed between known dominant alignments, which seemed to confuse Mari. It appears that Maris have anomalous detection capability now.

Food at convenience store was even mix of pre-made meals and fresh produce. Unexpected. Pre-made meals stamped as compassionate supply from blockade. Produce observed include rice, lotus root, yam variants, cabbage variants, white radish, turnip, spinach. We were expecting them to be near-starved by now.

Selected an apple and approached Mari. Noticed he was shackled to the counter. The fake skip settled on "", unrecognized alignment, it terrifies Mari. Handed him some currency, and he refused, pointing to a sign which reads "official or unofficial declarations only." He withdrew a bill from breast pocket, a picture, apparently of Asuka, sub-type unknown, naked, striking a pose, leaning over so her breasts were hanging down near her knees. Mari pushed forward a pad of currency-sized paper and black permanent marker. I double-checked fake skip and shifted it to h.horaki, then drew picture of Hikari Horaki turned away from the viewer, wearing only a cooking apron, buttocks exposed. Mari took picture, inspected it critically, then said three more variations of picture required to pay for the apple.
I activated tablet's killshot, removed all the hand-drawn currency from Mari's corpse and cash register, stole as many apples as I could carry, and then set the convenience store on fire.

I have been sitting on the second story of an abandoned building across the street from the convenience store. All apples consumed. Fire burned only briefly before the fire suppression system came on. Shortly thereafter EMS services arrived. Firetruck staffed by females with bleached hair. The cops are males with dyed purple hair. The dye jobs look professional.

1145. Made contact with a Misato on bottom floor of building across street from convenience store. Hit him with a Class 1 mindfreeze, non-lethal, and cloned his radio's encryption keys. Waited until the fire truck had left, walked over to the convenience store, and hit the other Misato. This one had keys to the police car they had arrived in. Changed my fake skip to m.katsuragi, scalped the Misato, commenced drive into Hakone City.

1200. Still entering Hakone. Obvious approaches have been crowded by thick cables, which are which are connected to batteries or capacitors, which are connected to an ad hoc solar array. Looks like every solar panel south of Tokyo is here. What do they need this much electricity for?

Cloned radio encryption keys worthless. Misatos keep a running character patter going. Information about actual law enforcement activity does not appear to be passed on any available band. Misato patter may amount to an intra-alignment language. Last ten minutes patter was discussing color and texture of 'the Antarctica scar'.

1325. Cruiser has been ditched in what I can only describe as a 'Kaworu ghetto'. Predominantly female bleach-blond skips, most in the early stages of pregnancy. Kaworus reacted with deference to me, but I was able to successfully provoke one wearing a gray wig to attack me. Now I have a new wig, and the fake skip is broadcasting k.nagisa. Attempting to locate the central point of power transmission.

1450. Tablet pings another Foundation asset. Moving to intercept.

Observations about the city. It is cramped. Likely more than 40,000 people per square mile here, all observed individuals are displaying alignment identifiers. Few cars. Civil services appear to be intact. Fairly mundane economy here, albeit one that uses drawings for currency. Some presence of monetized narrative stories which appear to be high-value currency. Behavior of all alignments appears docile, but signs of conflict are everywhere. Corpses litter the street and are ignored, most have been pounded flat by foot traffic. There is little smell. Estimate corpses more than a year old.

1530. Intercepted Kelvin Davis, designated Asset-1223, a null skip from America cooperating with Foundation under the assumption that he will be evacuated as reward. Asset's information is of minimal value. Null behavior apparently focused primarily on survival and evasion of anomalous skips.
One lead from Asset information. Rumors of a ship, located at scrapyard on southern edge of Hakone. Asset says Kaworus and Asukas have been unnaturally cooperating since news of the ship began to filter in. Ship apparently called "The Ruckus".

Scrapyard is not proximate to any body of water. Implications troubling. Asset and I are headed there now.

1600. Kelvin is twenty nine years old. He was exposed to 401a0-aleph at age twenty two, and was captured by the Bandersnatchs in late December of last year, after making a post on the evangelion subreddit indicating he had been exposed to aleph materials. He has been a resident of Hakone for nearly six months, after gradually making his way southward from Murakami, where he was deposited.

His head is shaved bald, except for a narrow band of hair on the sides and back of his head, where his hairline would normally be. This is needed to secure wigs. He says the skips can identify one another by alignment only at close range, and beyond that they rely on sight. He has taken me up to the roof of a building, and we are making our way across the city by rooftop. Nulls have to move in this way, or at night, or they would quickly be exposed.

1625. The scrapyard is in sight. Kelvin has related further the life of a null in Hakone. They are generally regarded as animals with a parasitic relationship to non-nulls. Nulls are not relied upon to provide services or labor. Both genders of null are subject to breeding by non-nulls, both casual and systematic, though female nulls to a lesser extent. As nulls are regarded as a self-maintaining emergency food source, impregnating them is apparently recognized as being counterproductive. I have uploaded a slaved version of the fake skip cognitohazard-generating program to Kelvin's tablet and set it to a.sohryuu. This caused a moment of intense panic when we both discovered that Kelvin possessed an anomalous means of identifying alignment which had previously been undetected. He is unable to reconcile the fake skip with his null nature. I have told him to face the screen outward, the way I do, and to not look at it.

1645. Since accident, never been rendered speechless. Susceptibility to cognitohazards crucial to a normal human affect.

We have found The Ruckus. Or should I say "rus-kas". It is clear that the name was chosen based on a combination of "Kaworus" and "Asukas", because it implicates a combination of those two alignments. The back, or bottom half. Will try to describe in order to process.

Scrapyard has a broad, clear area, surrounded by piles of scrap metal. Heavy smell of rust. Little edible waste, but sea gulls circle about overhead. It may be the other smell that is attracting them.

In the clear area are people. Estimate six thousand in total. The wigs suggest Kaworus and Asukas, vast majority of which currently participating in enthusiastic and vigorous poly-amorous sexual relations. Kelvin begins to take pictures on his tablet, muttering something about how "the eva monkey is going to go crazy for this".

This appears to be the ship. Slang for a coupling preference between characters. Unknown if this is a voluntary breeding program or if there are deeper social ramifications.
Someone is approaching.

1800. Ambushed by a Kaworu/Asuka pair. Kaworu was wearing a red wig, and Asuka was wearing a gray wig. When they encountered us, the pair exhibited confusion about our behavior. Before I could hit them with a killshot, Kelvin took the initiative, opting to camouflage our surveillance by imitation. After eventually extracting ourselves from the situation, I have decided that terminating Kelvin to minimize my operational footprint is no longer a priority.

Now that it is clear that there is no secret starship or dimensional gate being built in the scrapyards of Hakone, the question of the power cables remains. Kelvin has related that the solar panels were installed early following the mass-migration of Kaworus and Asukas to Hakone. Electricity is available to anyone that can control an outlet. Damage of electrical infrastructure is not tolerated. Power cables tend to go into storm drains and open manhole covers. When I announce that we will be investigating the area beneath the city, he gave persuasive reasons for waiting several days, during a lull in maintenance activity. Intend to shelter-in-place with Asset for three days.

November 4, 2017

1730. Apparently there are a series of massive tunnels beneath the city, designed to contain and redirect flood waters. This was a huge public works project. Each pipe is wider than a football field is long, and there are miles and miles and miles of them, worming underneath Hakone like an intestinal tract. And all of these winding megastructures, Kelvin informs me, are filled to bursting with fresh dash-2s. This seems unlikely.

I have informed Kelvin that we are going underground, and he has not objected further. We are proceeding toward an access point known to Kelvin.

1845. The fake skip flagged us both as, and we were able to pass into the heart of Hakone unmolested. Observed several "Pen-Pen" alignment megafauna attacking group of Maris and another glasses-wearing alignment, mostly female, that Kelvin identified as "Hyuugas".

1900. We have arrived at tunnel entrance. Several "Pen-Pen" alignments stand guard. I am approaching. Pen-Pen are not reacting. People composing the individual Pen-Pen bodies look at me, but those acting as the animal's sensory organs take no notice. We pass into the tunnel without issue.

The tunnels are, indeed, massive, but at first they are empty. Kelvin leads the way.

1935. We have been walking for 30 minutes. I have just spotted what I assume is a 401a0-2 instance, its head and shoulders just visible in the darkness ahead. The organism is monochromatic in some unclear way.


Kelvin does not want to approach further. I am forcing him to do so.


The organism is of similar size to known dash-2s, but unlike known examples, does not appear to be built from the composite remains of deceased skips. Rather, this is a whole and singular entity. A giant person, essentially. I am giving this thing the provisional classification of 401a0-3.

Provisional dash-3 fills the tunnel. It is uniformally colored purple-red, not unlike the core-matter containment spread indicated in the Operation Rebuilt Q movie. And…

And as I stand here, several hundred feet from it, I can make out dash-3's face. The features are half-familiar. I cannot precisely describe this feeling. How to say it…

Note: At this point, S.A. Kallio ceases to make sub-vocal observations reliably. Relevant vocal pickup from her tablet shall be transcribed.

Kelvin enters range for anomalous identification, and states that the giant is Asuka Langley Sohryuu. I am looking at the flesh-and-blood face of a fictional character, who has only ever been rendered in two dimensions and cell shaded. I am seeing what Asuka Langley Sohryuu actually looks like. And

[several minutes of audible laughter and attempts at speech excised for brevity]

The giant isn't moving. Its red-purple eyes are open, but unfocused and unblinking. Kelvin is taking photos with his tablet, being very particular about the visible top of the giant's cyclopean breasts, muttering about how "monkey is going to have a heart attack."

I take a side tunnel, leaving Asset-1223 behind. I arrive at a junction, and pass through it. On the other side of the junction is an identical tunnel. There is another red-purple giant here. This one appears to be male, his hair in a loose high and tight.

[audible] We are all going to die.

Returning back to the junction. Ignore Asset-1223. Ignore him. Taking the inner corridor leading deeper into the tunnels.

[audible] We are all going to die.

Asset-1223 is attempting to get my attention. The corridor is closing in. The light is failing. Failing. (laughter) The light is gone. And in the darkness, there is another world. Dry and vast. And

[audible] Not real. This isn't real.

Something here. Something sees me. I can feel Kelvin's hands on me, but he isn't here. Something else. The sky is empty. Blank. Close. The sky.

Red light, growing at every horizon. Kelvin pulls at me, but he isn't here. The world shakes, and the red light is rising, towering up. The red light separates from the ground. It rises.

[audible] Rising. The ring. Rises. Oh fuck. Fuck me. Oh fuck.

[audible whisper] Its an eye.

A pupil larger than anything I've ever seen, ringed by an iris that burns red and orange like a sun. It pulls back, and back, and and and two. There's another eye, sliding into view. A face fading in from the black sky. Features are… almost human. Nose and lips and eyes and teeth and hair, hair that gleams blue. Pores that could swallow the Moon. And not only that. Behind that face… others!

[audible] Fuck me fuck me fuck me!

I can see them faintly, features like stellar constellations. One face coming in close, the eyes crackling with contained fimbulwinter1, a burning nebula dripping down on either side of its face. Lips part. A human expression. It speaks.

Kelvin is here. He is warm, but I am frozen and shuddering.

The words are coming, hazy pockets of vibration the size of planets that will shatter this dark world, and me with it. I will shatter, and every splinter will remain here, in this god-infested dark hell.

[audible] Oh God!

2030. Kelvin arrived before the shimmering ribbon of sound, and when he did, I was back in the tunnel, which was normally lit. The other world, and the things that occupied the local space around it, were gone. I am fine. I am fine. We are all going to die. I am fine. I am fine.

Note: The following is a transcript of the audio caught by Special Agent Kallio's tablet.

[Begins 2035.]

[The sound of steps]

Unknown [female voice]: Well, look at you!

[Shouts of alarm]

Unknown [female voice]: No need to be afraid.

SA Kallio: Y-you! Romeru!

Dr. Romeru: Yes, well, sort of. And you must be… 5-2? I tend to get them confused, and its hard without the mohawk or facial piercings. Ah, and I see you've got yourself a pet. He looks like one of mine, but I see that he's just a null. Had to squint.

Asset-1223: What should I do, Kally?

SA Kallio: Get behind me and shut the fuck up!

[Kallio's tablet logs indicate killshot deployed.]

Dr. Romeru: [pained hiss] Wow, that hurt. You just made this woman's brain explode. Fuck.

SA Kallio: What are you?

Dr. Romeru: Mmmph. Mmmmmmph. [laughter] My name is… well, you know me as Shinji Ikari. Pleased to meet you.

Asset-1223: [shrieks]

SA Kallio: Shut up! You think you're Shinji Ikari?

Dr. Romeru: I am the entity represented by the fictional character Shinji Ikari.

SA Kallio: D-d-do… (pause) Are you the reason… (flustered)

Asset-1223: No alignment. Not an alignment. Something bigger. The size of a world.

Dr. Romeru: Sorry for the inconvenience, but my friends and I, we're just trying to get home.

SA Kallio: I… they were.

Dr. Romeru: Yes, you were in the void, right? Reality is thin between the test-type bodies.

SA Kallio: Stay back!

Dr. Romeru [approaches]: Reh-qwal-lee-own-neh-ni-sag-rah-seh-qui-quon [phonetic] saw you. The one the anime calls Rei Ayanami. [appears excited, though the body has partial facial paralysis] Come, come, um, Kally and null. Come. I have to deliver a threat to your Foundation.

Asset-1223: Burns like a sun. He's going to burn us all up!

Dr. Romeru: Enough, already. Bring her. We need to get this done.

Asset-1223: What, why am. I can't…

SA Kallio (sub-vocal): Kelvin has grabbed me from behind and pulled me into a fireman's carry.

Dr. Romeru: I left your null's mind intact as a courtesy, but he's mine. I can make him anything I want. We're going to take a walk, and then I plan to cut you loose. If you don't give me any more trouble, I'll let you have him.

SA Kallio (sub-vocal): Ceasing to resist. We are moving up the corridor.

Note: Special Agent Kallio seems to collect herself in the next several minutes. This transcript will revert to relevant sub-vocal impressions.

Time uncertain. We have been descending into the tunnels for maybe an hour. Kelvin collapsed after ten minutes of carrying me, but the entity calling itself Shinji Ikari allowed me to proceed under my own power. Entity leads, Asset-1223 trails. We are approaching a terminus to the tunnel.

Entity leads me into a tunnel of uncertain dimensions. Multiple dash-3 crowd in, defining an open space maybe 25 by 25 meters. Walls and ceiling and floor are all dash-3. Entity is leading me to an anatomical irregularity in one of the dash-3.

No, this is something else. A red-purple shape that throbs and is slightly transparent. I can see scenes from Neon Genesis Evangelion inside it.

Entity [audible]: "Nearly a quarter century has passed since I found that odd, furry man freezing barefoot in the snow outside. He was slapping on windows, hopping from foot to foot, cursing his forgetful nature. I was close, and I called out to him, leading him around the building, into a sinking stairwell, and into the basement, where he found this."

Entity pointing at shape.

Entity [audible]: The rest you probably know. A memetic imprint on a receptive mind, left to fester until his demons got the better of him. But I'm here to tell you the why, not the how. We are trying to repair the world.

Kallio [audible]: We don't need your help. You're making things worse, don't you understand? This memetic effect you've forced on us threatens everything that makes this world worth inhabiting.

Entity [audible]: We are human, Kally. Reality has been shattered. History has been rewritten. I am human, but I've been trapped in hell for a very long time. So much has changed. This is not exactly my world, but this is my home dimension. Some of the history is wrong, but this is where I belong.

Kallio [audible]: You have to stop. You're breaking things that we can't fix.

Entity [audible]: But Kally, fixing things is what we do.

Entity touches the Shape, then approaches me. Entity's physical form is rapidly decaying.

Entity [audible]: We are Ay-Van-Gel-Eee-Uhn, the knights at the threshold.

I was wrong. Entity's physical form is not decaying, it is changing.

Entity [audible]: When the sky opened up and delivered the Angelis to our planet, we found one another in the chaos, and we fought back. Each and every Angelis a giant of unlimited power, unique and horrible and inhuman. What you would call 'keter class anomalies'.

Entity [audible]: But then the First Ancestor Race2, creator of our creators, noticed us, and locked us away. But that was long ago. They are gone, but fragments of them remain. In the form of blood-hungry stars and murderous shadows and cat-built gods and language that hungers for souls. These are but the smallest remains of the FAR. And we can kill them for you.

Kallio [audible]: A-and what do you want in return?

Entity [audible]: Oh, I can see that hate in you.

Kallio [audible]: What do you ask in return?

Entity [audible]: Do you love, Kally? Or did your accident take that away?

Kallio [audible]: That doesn't matter. As an official representative of the Foundation, I request that you

Entity [audible]: The FAR noticed us, Kally, and all the Angels we'd been fighting? They all killed themselves. We wondered why, but then the FAR came for us. We Evangelion were shunted into that void, that Dirac hell. And the FAR had pushed in some element of scale along with us. The universe shrank, while we expanded. The FAR knew we could break through, but had made us so massive that to do so would wipe out the planet we had vowed to protect, and the solar system besides.

Entity [audible]: Do you love, Kally? I do. I have people I love very much. We cannot undo what the FAR have done to the universe. A million more cycles of universal death and rebirth, and that would still be beyond us. But what we can do, is engineer a means of escape. We need flesh to mould. Flesh receptive to the minds that seek to inhabit it. We need to experiment, to learn, to refine. We need to be able to shrink down to what is, from our perspective, the atomic level. So that we may exist in this world without breaking it. And so that we can finish our work, and save humanity.

Kallio [audible]: But, but you…

Entity has changed into a young man, Asian, with short brown hair. He raises a hand, and flames begin to bubble and lick from his fingertips. His hand is melting.

Entity [audible]: This isn't a solution. But we are close. Very close. My friends, my Evangelion, I won't stop until they're back here, out in the real world. So listen close, Kally. Because this is my threat.

Entity [audible]: If the Foundation does not meet my requests, I will expand the cognitohazardous effects of 401a0-aleph to the word "Japan". I can do that now. Easily. A person won't even have to say the word aloud, or think it, any ticking timebombs in the deep well of their personal experience will be enough. "Infohazardous" is the term you use. I will take control of every thinking mind on this planet, and continue our experiments. And once my friends are all incarnate in this true world, I will walk all you remaining skips out into the sea, and we will start over from a blank slate. We've had a long time to prepare for just that. Anywhere can be a heaven if you make it so. Even on top of a pile of corpses.

Kallio [audible]: B-but you said you wanted to fix the world?
Entity [audible]: My world is smaller than mankind, but it has a sky, and a breeze. We can build an empire on the ruins of your civilization. If that is what you make us do.
Kallio [audible]: I've h-heard your threat. How can w-w-w-we avoid that?

Time Unknown. Entity melted to a steaming puddle of liquid. Proceeding upwards with Kelvin. Entity indicated it had removed Kelvin's anomalous nature, as a gesture of good faith. Further testing to confirm this is required.

Entity laid out its requirements. I have never wanted to betray the Foundation more than I do in this moment, and since I fully intend to convey entity's offer, I guess I never will betray the Foundation.

Even as its body burned away, it approached me and pointed at my stomach with an intact finger. No, not my stomach. It said that I might hold the key to all this. Apotheosis.

Apotheosis by any means. But until the day when the living remnants of Evangelion can walk beneath an open sky, rather than be a part of that sky, the entity calling itself Shinji Ikari requires the Foundation furnish it 65,000 fresh instances of SCP-401a0-1 every month, for the foreseeable future.

How disgusting.

Special Agent Kallio and Asset-1223 were extracted from Japanese mainland by MTF Bandersnachs. Following quarantine and debrief, Kallio was placed on extended leave in Okinawa. Asset-1223 was re-classified as provisional E-Class and made a non-mobile component of Operation "Honeypot". Verification of his non-anomalous nature is underway.

To date, the Foundation has delivered approximately 200,000 individuals exposed to 401a0-aleph to the Japanese mainland. Cloned individuals did not meet the 401a0 entity's requirements.

O5 Council has commissioned a study on the practicality of tentative reclassification of SCP-401a0 from Keter to Thaumiel.

Special Agent Raquel Kallio is expected to give birth sometime in August 2018.

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