Week of January 1st:

This week in SCPs we had multimedia collaboration, Vincent Anderson himself in containment, pattern screamers made real are not real, and John Cena. We also have an incredible windfall of tales thanks to Gaffney does not match any existing user name's holiday gift exchange! Around here, we know how to start the year off right.


  • SCP-3618 ("Supply and Demand") - The most important object within SCP-3618-1 is a control board, like that present in 20th century voltmeters. Knobs and switches number 1583 and are each labeled with a socio-economic variable. Written by kemoT01kemoT01
  • SCP-3813 ("he Fall of Hyperion") - Historical records indicate that SCP-3813 was a mechanical war elephant. Multimedia by djkaktusdjkaktus, ZhangeZhange, Doctor CimmerianDoctor Cimmerian, and TheVolgun!
  • SCP-3331 ("With Apologies To John Cena") - SCP-3331-1 is a humanoid entity with the appearance and physical characteristics of American Professional Wrestler John Cena. All instances suffer from Situs Inversus, and approximately 70% display additional anomalous properties. Written by MortosMortos.
  • SCP-3930 ("The Pattern Screamer") - SCP-3930 does not exist. Written by djkaktusdjkaktus.
  • SCP-3675 ("The Void Called") - If more than 50% of the human population dies due to a 3675-Abgrund event, and countermeasures cannot be developed, [[blue|we will all be together.]] Written by ModulumModulum
  • SCP-3860 ("The Falcon's Landing") - SCP-3860 is the former PoI-1115 (Vincent Anderson), a 67-year-old white male and former CEO/Founder of GoI-1115 (Anderson Robotics). Written by Jacob ConwellJacob Conwell


  • Forgetting the Number of Dead Stars - "I'm going to ask you a series of questions. Please give the first answer that comes to mind, even if it's not knowing any answer. I'll know if you try to lie. Do you understand?" Start of the beautifully brutal Maim the Sky, Slay the Sun series by PedantiquePedantique.
  • The Man-Machine - I wanted to be near him. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to do things with him, both innocent and depraved. But I never wanted to say that I loved him. Written by A Random DayA Random Day for ZhangeZhange in the art exchange.
  • Roach Wrangling at Kiryu Labs - Some days, the researchers at Kiryu labs unlock the secrets of nature. Other days, they write joke interviews with bugs. Where did you think all those -Js were coming from? Written by ZynZyn.
  • Kiryu Labs Roach Wrangling Log - Meet Fad Roach, Chad Roach, Grad Roach, Iliad Roach, and over 30 more in this collaborative log by ZynZyn and many, many Kiryu Labs "guest researchers."
  • Document 3813-L - The Roman general Cladius assembled a defense fleet at Scalia that was able to drive most of the approaching Carthaginian ships back out to sea, but was shattered once SCP-3813 reached the shallower waters and was able to emerge from below the surface. Written/illustrated by djkaktusdjkaktus, ZhangeZhange, Doctor CimmerianDoctor Cimmerian, and TheVolgun.
  • A Completed Chronicle - Sam Micheals listened to the reasoning, and then he asked the messenger, "How large the country between the Tigris and the canal might be?" "A large district," Sam Micheals replied, "but it matters not. For I am pulled in all directions at once, and I continue to bleed." The best kind of bad trip, by The Great Hippo, written for VaraxousVaraxous in the art exchange.
  • Recovered Media: The Hard-Boiled Adventures of Murphy Law - On 24/12/2017, a Foundation-operated bot (I/O-ISMETA) located a series of archived discussions pertaining to SCP-3143 across several defunct comic book enthusiast forums, totaling 49 posts. Assembled by PetrogradPetrograd for The Great HippoThe Great Hippo in the art exchange.
  • On the Slope of Olympus - The survivors broke their formation, starting to rush in, and she knew she was winning. She burst into flames, just to make them afraid. MTF Omega-12 bends the benders in this art exchange entry by fieldstonefieldstone for Modern_ErasmusModern_Erasmus.
  • Brökkën Güd - This was the culmination of a life-long dream, and victory was so close they could almost taste it. None of them had quite realised how difficult it would be, however, to assemble a Supreme Being with only an allan key and a screwdriver. Written by LilyFlowerLilyFlower.
  • ...and I'm the star! - I mean, I've seen a lot of weird people — where I come from, weird is normal! Or, no, sorry, where I come from normal is normal, where I went after that weird is normal, and now I'm kind of in a new place where I'm unsure what's weird and not. Still, I've never seen weird like you. Written by DarkStuffDarkStuff as part of Dread and Circuses.
  • Sic Semper Tyrannis - This war is over Master. The Karcist is going to kill us all. My only remaining hope is that he does it before he consumes the Goddess rather than after. I could not bare the shame of outliving our maker. Written by Modern_ErasmusModern_Erasmus for Perelka_LPerelka_L in the art exchange.
  • * Herman Fuller Can Shove It Up His Ass - Ol' Herman knows you can't always get powers and immortality and whatnot from book learning. Some of it you get by letting magic worms up your butt. Nobody said thaumaturgy was easy. Written by DrChandraDrChandra for Dread and Circuses.
  • * Anderson the Alternative - What if Anderson had put his talents to work for the Foundation? Written by SunnyClockworkSunnyClockwork.
  • * A History of Reaction - Foundation interference in Garnier's operations invariably results in failure, through the intervention of natural, thaumic, or logistic obstacles that are not ostensibly under Garnier's control. Written by TyGentlyTyGently for Gaffney does not match any existing user name in the art exchange.

Week of January 8th:

Yet another big week at the Foundation, with rock stars, animals, and debates about the distribution of borscht (it's true what they say - anything can be interesting with the right execution). It was a great week for tales too, with everything from a heartfelt letter from Kondraki to a crime thriller about the Chicago Spirit and a lot of good stuff in between.


  • SCP-3933 ("Bigger Than God") - SCP-3933 is the collective designation for a song titled "Toxic Soul" (SCP-3933-1), written and released in 1980, and the original four members of the Glam Metal band "Tyrannosaurus Flex" (SCP-3933-A through SCP-3933-D), who wrote and performed the song. Written by MortosMortos
  • SCP-3410 ("It's just fucking golf!") - The presence of SCP-3410 exerts a cognitohazardous effect on SCP-3410-A. They will experience a desire to seek out an owner (hereafter SCP-3410-B) of the Quaker State oil company and engage them in a game of golf at Foxburg Country Club. Written by mayoculpamayoculpa.
  • SCP-3497 ("Backfiring Birds") - The Department of External Affairs has established a task force to liaise with regional governments, with the aim of deescalating tensions relating to SCP-3497 sightings. Written by ModernMajorGeneralModernMajorGeneral.
  • SCP-3554 ("No. 4 Borscht Canning Factory") - The factory is fully automated and will produce approximately 80,000 cans of borscht per day, under the "Содружество" brand, pre-packaged in shipping pallets. This occurs without any external inputs. Written by Lazar LyusternikLazar Lyusternik.
  • SCP-2786 ("The Archetype") - Due to the nature of the anomaly, this has been deemed safe for reading for the time being. However, contents of the article may fluctuate between readings and may or may not be considered accurate at this time. Written by TheBillithTheBillith
  • SCP-2235 ("Until the Truth is Known") - Each instance is sentient, and capable of vocalizing in a tone and pitch identical to their deceased counterpart. Upon any individual coming within 5 meters of any SCP-2235 instance, said entity will generate a variety of humanoid noises, including but not limited to groaning, gasping, and/or sobbing. Written by MrBazzleMrBazzle
  • SCP-3413 ("Irwin Shrugged") - SCP-3413-A is a human male of average build, approximately 50-60 years of age. He appears in clothes typical of an Amazonian safari, and speaks with an exaggerated Australian accent. - Written by CleverlyClearlyCleverlyClearly


  • To My Staff - If you're reading this, it means I'm dead, either by my own hand or some inexplicable luck of the draw. Shit sucks. You win some, you lose some, I guess. Written by thefriendlyvandalthefriendlyvandal.
  • White - Across the room was a lady. She was speaking to him, but the words didn't parse; they were all eaten up by peppermint and battery acid. Written by VaraxousVaraxous.
  • Running Out - Obviously, MTFs trained a lot. Everyone knew that, right? They had to. Weiss just hadn't realized, at first, that so much of it would involve working out. Written by Mr CarbonMr Carbon about MTF Theta-90.
  • Phoenix - I have remotely disabled all cell phone signals coming in and out of this building. The only door to the room you are in cannot be opened by hand; only I can open it from the control room. There is nowhere for you to go. Written by toastedraptortoastedraptor
  • Live Now, Tomorrow We Die - Kit had never been the same after the first amnestic. It was fair to say Gabriel has felt as lousy as shit doing it, too – inviting the cute, dark-haired man on another date and slipping it into his ‘purple rain’ cocktail with practised ease. Written by Zachary MaxwellZachary Maxwell about Kit!
  • Public Static Void - If the robot had a mouth it would grin. It's nearly time to wake up the cargo. Written by MaliceAforethoughtMaliceAforethought.
  • Zeitgeist - It's prime real estate. The only problem is that its current residents can't be legally exorcised. This is where the Chicago Spirit comes in: a particularly enterprising (and unsavory) real estate developer has hired them to evict the squatters. Written by A Random DayA Random Day.
  • Twenty Minutes - Twenty-odd years making you. Twenty-odd minutes deleting it all. The next chapter in Kit's misadventures by Zachary MaxwellZachary Maxwell

GOI Formats

  • Project Proposal 2014-234: "Outdoor Object of Ordinance" - The Outdoor Object of Ordinance is a park bench. It is fully functional in the sense of it is able to be sat on comfortably by up to three people who do not know each other and up to five people who have known each other for a long period of time. Put forth by HiuMentahHiuMentah