First Draft: Campaign Promises

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Currently, no method exists to permanently contain SCP-XXXX. Due to the frequency and geographic variance of SCP-XXXX, Mobile Task Force Pi-2 (“Leaders of the Opposition”) has been established in response. Personnel in areas vulnerable to SCP-XXXX are to maintain constant surveillance for manifestations of SCP-XXXX-1. Once SCP-XXXX-1 has been positively identified, it is to be detained in the nearest Foundation facility and kept in a concrete cell and provided only the minimum of food and health care needed to keep it alive and functional for interviews and experimentation. SCP-XXXX-1’s cell is to be patrolled by two armed guards, who are instructed to ignore all of the entity’s many attempts to engage them in conversation. Guards should be screened for resistance to psychological manipulation and coercion. Once SCP-XXXX-1 inevitably disappears from containment, members of Mobile Task Force Pi-2 are to be informed as soon as possible so they can begin to search for its newest manifestation.

In the interests of preventing an SCP-XXXX event from occurring, Foundation personnel tasked with preventing it may choose at their own discretion to assist any non-Foundation personnel who are opposing SCP-XXXX-1 in its campaign, barring any assistance that would reveal the Foundation’s existence, in an effort to help them defeat SCP-XXXX-1. Personnel may also withdraw financial resources from the Foundation’s funds necessary to defeat SCP-XXXX-1, including money for advertisements, campaign events, and other forms of support for SCP-XXXX-1’s opponents. Any Foundation personnel found abusing this privilege for personal gain will be terminated.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a reality-altering event that occurs whenever the entity SCP-XXXX-I succeeds in winning an election to public office. SCP-XXXX-1 is an entity that appears as an adult human male of varying age, ethnicity, and appearance. It manifests periodically in any country that has a democratic system of government, between four months and a year before a regional election is scheduled to take place. SCP-XXXX-1 will publicly identify itself as a candidate for the election, and begin the process of running a campaign for the office. To the foundation’s knowledge, offices SCP-XXXX-1 has sought include 35 mayoral offices, 27 sub-federal-level parliamentary offices, 14 federal-level parliamentary offices, and 8 federal-level executive offices. It is estimated that he has been successful in 8 attempts.

SCP-XXXX-1 will vary in appearance depending on the country he manifests in. He will always be a member of the local ethnic majority, well-versed in the most common local languages and intimately familiar with the regional economy, culture, and customs. He will claim to have grown up on a family farm or in a small town (NOTE: The Foundation has not been able to locate any official records pertaining to SCP-XXXX-1’s history in any of his appearances). Its campaign will focus on the grievances of the socioeconomically disadvantaged, and will seek to blame those problems on a variety of outside forces. SCP-XXXX-1 will spend much more time than any of its rivals individually addressing voters about their personal concerns. These characteristics should be used by Foundation personnel in positively identifying SCP-XXXX-1, as they appear in all SCP-XXXX events.

SCP-XXXX-1 will promise to fulfill any request a citizen (referred to here as ‘the asker’) makes of him while campaigning, so long as the request is directed at a person or group of persons besides the asker, and focuses on harming or disadvantaging someone else (referred to here as ‘the target’). Requests that involve helping people, even the person making the request, without harming someone else, will not be fulfilled, although SCP-XXXX-1 will still publicly act like he is taking them under consideration. SCP-XXXX-1 will also not fulfill requests that are physically impossible or ‘supernatural’ from the perspective of the average person, such as someone being transported to Hell (or the local religious equivalent) or transforming them into an animal. Examples of requests granted by SCP-XXXX-1 include:

-Causing the target to lose their home, job, life savings, or material goods. Such items may also be given to the asker if they so phrase their request.
-Causing the target to come down with a disease or disorder, physical or mental.
-The death of the target, by methods such as a heart attack, a car or transportation accident, or any other cause that is both sudden and seemingly random.
-Causing large groups or organizations to fall apart; this includes businesses or corporations going out of business, political parties collapsing, religious groups or churches experiencing a drastic decline in membership, and athletic teams disbanding.
-Eliminating a racial, ethnic, sexual, or political group within the asker’s country or any other country.
-Causing increased hostilities between countries, up to and including economic sanctions, embargoes, acts of terrorism, and military conflict.

SCP-XXXX-1’s anomalous qualities manifest when he wins an election and is allowed to take office. At that point, any campaign promises he made during SCP-XXXX will come true. Furthermore, any legal records or official documents will be altered to affirm that any changes resulting from SCP-XXXX’s promises are legal and properly accounted for, although, the memories of the people involved will not be altered. If SCP-XXXX-1 is detained after the election day but before the date of inauguration to office, all promises made during SCP-XXXX will still be fulfilled on that date. If SCP-XXXX-1 has evaded containment, he will give a speech to the effect that it has been an honor to receive the support of his followers, but he has accomplished all he set out to accomplish, and will then resign his office. At this point, he will vanish, along with his family and campaign infrastructure, which will reappear to instigate a new instance of SCP-XXXX, anywhere between three days and a week after vanishing. If SCP-XXXX-1 is in containment at the time, it will vanish from its cell, despite numerous failed attempts to secure it permanently. Senior staff has determined that attempting to quickly locate the newest instance of SCP-XXXX is a more efficient use of resources than attempting to contain SCP-XXXX-1 after the relevant date. If SCP-XXXX-1 dies before a given inauguration day, he will vanish, but all promises made to his followers will still manifest on the inauguration day, even though he did not win the election in question. Therefore, while it is imperative to keep close surveillance on SCP-XXXX-1, at no point should any foundation personnel attempt to kill it.

Addendum: Interview conducted with SCP-XXXX-1.

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-1

Interviewer: Dr. Kauffmann , regional director of Mobile Task Force Pi-2

Foreword: SCP-XXXX-1 was identified as a candidate in a parliamentary election in Hanover, Germany and detained three months and seventeen days before election day. At the time of the interview, it had been in Foundation custody for five days.

<Begin Log, 15/6/2009 1940>

Dr. Kauffmann: I suppose I will start with the obvious. Why do you do this? What is your goal?

SCP-XXXX-1: ‘Goal’ is a bit of a strong word, really. At this point we’re just seeing what will happen, you know? It’s a social experiment.

Dr. Kauffmann: By ‘we’, you mean there are others like you? Where are they? Are they coming here?

SCP-XXXX-1: Not yet. I’m working on it, though. You’ll see the first one in a few years.

Dr. Kauffmann: Tell me, what could a species such as yours gain from meddling in such provincial affairs? Mayoral and town council elections? Where is the benefit?

SCP-XXXX-1: Oh, doctor, you’re just not thinking big enough! It’s not about the elections! That’s only the path we’re taking, not the destination!

Dr. Kauffmann: Elaborate, please.

SCP-XXXX-1: You see, it’s a strange universe out there: vaster and colder than you could comprehend, but you humans have more influence than you might realize. When you go from eating roots and living in caves to…this! All in just a few hundred thousand years, it gets noticed. You think you’ve got it all figured out. And my friends and I would love to see you humbled a bit for that.

Dr. Kauffmann: So you want to see humanity humbled. Very well. Again, how do you plan on doing this by losing local elections?

SCP-XXXX-1: Even when I lose, doctor, the people remember me. They remember me being their friend, the one who understands how it really is, how it’s all their fault, not yours. I’ve been doing this for a while, and I know exactly how to hook people, how to live in their minds long after I’ve vanished. Elections, well, what better setup could a guy like me ask for? So many people, so much buried rage and hidden resentment. And that doesn’t go away, no matter how often I show up. I’m taking what you think is your noblest achievement-a government for the people!-and turning it into your path to your own degradation. The way things are going, it’s almost enough to just sit back and watch. But nudging it along is just too much fun.

Dr. Kauffmann: Well, you’re not doing a good job of it. Your movements are getting more and more predictable. We’ve cut average identification and capture time down to two and a half weeks. You’ve lost 25 of your last 26 attempts.

SCP-XXXX-1: Oh, I don’t mind losing. What would be the fun if nobody fought back? But you shouldn’t assume that I’ve run out of winning strategies, doctor. In fact, now is a great time to start deploying them. Right when you’re getting cocky. Right when you think you’ve won. pause Imagine, doctor, if I let someone know that there was this mysterious group on the fringes of society, unanswerable to anyone, hoarding treasures that all people should enjoy. Treasures like pills that can cure any illness, machinery that build things with no energy, artifacts that let you talk to the dead. Surely I’d be able to convince at least one person that the group ought to be dissolved, right? For the good of the people? And it only takes one, doc. It only takes one.

Dr. Kauffmann: I think we’ve heard enough.

SCP-XXXX-1: Pleasure talking to you, doc. See you in a few months.