SLS-AMG-FOXDIMI
kaori

[𝓢𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓾] Peer-reviewed by Dr. Misaki (Weeb) Desuchan

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object class: Euclid SHUT UP ITS KETER Euclid

slsamg1

An instance of SCP-XXXX-J, prior to activation.

sl911

Another instance of SCP-XXXX-J prior to activation.

Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-XXXX-J are to be DUMPED INTO A FIELD THEY'RE USELESS WHAT THE HELL??? kept in a large parking lot that is to be continually expanded by the Foundation.

Staff members are not to remove instances of SCP-XXXX-J from containment, or interact with SCP-XXXX-J under any circumstances CAUSE ITS GODDAMN USELESS WEH!! due to its anomalous properties, which can be potentially damaging to human health, as well as personal property owned by Foundation staff.

If an instance of SCP-XXXX-J is missing, all Mercedes-Benz SLS AMGs within a 100-mile radius are to be scanned, and every person owning miniature Mercedes-Benz SLS AMGs are to be interrogated, and all miniatures are to be confiscated, analyzed, and returned to their owners. If an instance of SCP-XXXX-J has been detected, the instance is to be contained immediately.

Description: SCP-XXXX-J is a Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG that is functionally and visually indistinguishable from a non-anomalous Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG. Analysis of SCP-XXXX-J's components show that SCP-XXXX-J possesses all the mechanical and technical features of a regular Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG. Instances of SCP-XXXX-J are also fully drive-able. The engine performance of SCP-XXXX-J are also indistinguishable from that of a regular Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG.

When SCP-XXXX-J is driven for an extended period of time, such as over ten minutes, the driver is safely teleported out of the car to a random location within ten feet of SCP-XXXX-J. This is accompanied by a sound effect as SCP-XXXX-J experiences a drastic reduction in density, mass, and size. SCP-XXXX-J, after being driven for more than ten minutes, will shrink to a smaller size, which is around eighteen (18) times smaller than its original size. The sound effects that SCP-XXXX-J produces when changing scale are dependent on the color of SCP-XXXX-J's paint. In the first activation stage of SCP-XXXX-J, SCP-XXXX-J has a 1/50 chance of producing a post-it note sized paper with a random image printed on one side of it.

sls22.png

An instance of SCP-XXXX-J one minute post activation (In containment, undergoing testing).

In this state, SCP-XXXX-J is indistinguishable from a model of a 1:18 SLS AMG. SCP-XXXX-J has engine or electrical functionality DUH WHY IS THIS HERE in this state, but still retains all the details of a regular Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG. However, if the driver touches the steering wheel inside of SCP-XXXX-J, another sound effect will be played, along with SCP-XXXX experiencing a slight reduction in size, down to a 1:24 Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG. The same process can be repeated a third time, resulting in SCP-XXXX-J transforming into a SLS AMG that is 32 times smaller than SCP-XXXX-J prior to all activation. The doors and windows of SCP-XXXX-J are still functional in this state, and the steering wheel and the dashboard are still intact, therefore, it is still possible to activate SCP-XXXX-J a fourth time, using the same methods. SCP-XXXX-J, when activated four times, will be reduced to an SLS AMG that is 64 times smaller than SCP-XXXX-J prior to activation. Due to the small size and loss of detail, SCP-XXXX-J cannot be activated any further.

sl24

SCP-XXXX-J, having been activated a second time.

einsmolsls

SCP-XXXX-J, having been activated a third time.

2smolsls

2 instances of SCP-XXXX-J, in final activation stages.

SCP-XXXX-J, in any of its smaller forms, will stay in such a form for exactly two (2) days, two (2) hours, two (2) minutes, and two (2) seconds. After this amount of time has passed, SCP-XXXX-J will revert back to its pre-activation size. This occurs suddenly but precisely, in that SCP-XXXX-J will revert back to its original size after precisely (2) days, two (2) hours, two (2) minutes, and two (2) seconds have passed. This has observed to cause severe property damage and injury in those IDIOT BAKA DUMMKOPF SCHEISSE who are not fully aware of this facet of SCP-XXXX-J's properties, and store activated instances of SCP-XXXX-J in their pockets, houses, or other instances of SCP-XXXX-J i swear to god, paul, dont take these out of containment.

Multiple designers working in Mercedes-Benz, Daimler AG, and other related subsidiaries were questioned about the anomalous properties of their products. ███ employees claimed to not know about such properties, while one employee, Dr. ██████ claimed that the anomalous properties were achieved via the use of [REDACTED] and [REMOVED BY REQUEST OF DAIMLER AG AND MERCEDES-BENZ] and that such properties were implemented for easier transport of SLS AMGs meant for display in car dealerships, and not for actual driving HOW THE HELL DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT MATE HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW?????. However, such properties of SCP-XXXX-J have never been disclosed to car dealerships due to the techniques used to manufacture instances of SCP-XXXX-J being company secrets of Daimler AG and Mercedes Benz, therefore, thousands of instances of SCP-XXXX are estimated to be already sold to the public. Additional efforts by the Foundation to contain such instances of SCP-XXXX-J have been ceased, as the Foundation wishes to see large pile-ups of Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG on major freeways, due to the fact that blocked freeways leads to less time spent driving, and more time spent on the SCP Wiki.

slwreck

A lost instance SCP-XXXX-J of a stage 4 activation found on a sidewalk in [REDACTED].

slcrash

An instance of SCP-XXXX-J of unknown activation stage placed beneath an SUV.

mercedes

An object related to SCP-XXXX-J of unknown activation stage.

Note: What are we going to use this for? Oh. I have an idea. I'm going to give this to my high-maintenance girlfriend.
- Dr. Keitzl
Note: THE RED ONE IS SO SUGOI KAWAII DESU!!!!! :dizzy: I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT MAKES ME GO NANIII??? WHEN IT SAYS " S U G O I """
- Dr. Desuchan
Note: Is this a generic magic object?
- Dr. Seuss
Note: The formatting here is horrible. Who wrote it?
- Dr. MacKenzie
Note: Whoever is trying to steal instances of SCP-XXXX-J, please return them and get help before you make a huge pile of SLS AMGs on the f████ng freeway.
- Dr. Moscovich
Note: Young man, there's no need to feel down, young man, pick yourself off the ground…
- Dr. Peoples
Note: This is too many notes.
- https://noteworthy.com/████████.htm
Note: Stop deleting and redacting the notes I put on this goddamn page. Stop it.
- Dr. Adamo🅱ich