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Item #: SCP-3068

Object Class: Safe

Containment Procedures: SCP-3068-A is stored in a secure storage locker at Site 697. Testing of SCP-3068-A is to occur in the man-made lake located near Site 697. SCP-3068-B is currently kept in a standard human containment chamber. All damaged furniture and other materials are to only be replaced during SCP-3068-B's periods of rest or when he is under heavy sedation. As well, staff are not to mention or allude to SCP-3068-B's condition in any way, due to this causing him extreme emotional distress (See Addendum 02).

Description: SCP-3068 is the collective designation of a group of objects relating to a universe that encountered an XK Class Scenario. SCP-3068-A is a ██████ brand stand-up paddleboard, with several deviations from standard models. The carbon fiber fin at the back of the board has been replaced with a similarly shaped fin of unknown composition. The material has proven impossible to identify, as any samples taken explosively deteriorate within two seconds of removal from the rest of the fin. Additionally, the epoxy coating contains [REDACTED], which appears to allow the board to survive interuniversal travel.
When at a sufficient speed (at or past 10 Km/h) and when 'piloted' by at least one human being, SCP-3068-A is capable of instantaneous teleportation to SCP-0000-C.

SCP-3068-B is a male humanoid, approximately 50 years of age. DNA records taken from the subject are identical to ████████ ██████, a physicist from ██████, in Ontario. SCP-3068-B, along with -A, was recovered from a pool in ████████, British Columbia, in a state of unconsciousness after spontaneously appearing after-hours. Brain scans taken from SCP-3068-B show brain damage similar to the effects of Mad Cow disease, with several holes in the cerebral cortex. This has caused the subject to have difficulty putting together entire sentences, extremely low coordination skills, and renders him prone to extreme fits of anger. SCP-3068-B has much more muscle mass than his counterpart in this reality, and is capable of significant feats of strength. SCP-3068-B has recently shown signs of recollecting his pre-SCP state (See Addendum 02), which has caused him to develop signs of clinical depression. As of ██/█/20██, SCP-3068-B has been placed on suicide watch.

SCP-3068-C is a river flowing through an alternate version of ████████, Canada, which appears to be situated in this universes equivalent of 200█, although the apparent technology of this society is far beyond ours. ████████ is nearly entirely unpopulated, with the majority of the former residents (Approx. 72%) having either died in several armed conflicts that took place within the town (See Addendum 01), or from starvation. The remaining residents appear to be suffering from the same damage as SCP-3068-B, and have the same level of strength, though the breakdown of their faculties appears to be much more severe. Attempts to capture and examine any members of the populace have been met with extremely heavily armed resistance, and any dead specimens are recovered by the remaining members and brought back to one of ████████'s remaining buildings..

The town itself is extremely heavily damaged, with around 75% of the buildings functionally destroyed by both weapons fire and natural causes. The remaining structures have been converted into churches, with crude writings on the outside walls suggesting the worship of entities with the collective name "Thos That Camee From Above (sic.)". No attempt to enter these facilities has succeeded to date, both due to extreme resistance from the residents and the advanced construction techniques of this society. Tests using munitions up to and including 82mm mortar rounds have failed to cause anything more than cosmetic damage to the 'churches'. The worshiped beings are assumed to be hallucinations caused by the severe degradation of the mental faculties of the residents. See Addendum 03.

The sky above the town and the town itself is covered in extremely thick cloud/fog cover which blocks almost all light from the Sun from coming through, meaning that any research and exploration within SCP-3068-C and the surrounding area must be done during the day, as visibility after nightfall is extremely negligible, even with an artificial light source. No GPS brought within the area has functioned properly, suggesting that most or all of the satellites within this reality have been destroyed or disabled. Navigation by compass is impossible, as any brought within the town will point in seemingly random directions. All teams that have stayed within the world of SCP-3068-C past the lowest light level have invariably lost contact with Site 697 exactly 20 minutes afterwards, and have never been recovered. These factors have made it impossible to explore further out than the immediate area around SCP-3068-C. However, recovered materials from within ████████ have stated that the anomalous effects seen in the local population have occurred across the globe, though the cause is still unclear. See Addendum 03.

Addendum 01: Recovered Newspapers From SCP-3068-C

The first few excursions into SCP-3068-C recovered several partially burnt newspaper clippings. All of the legible sections have been reprinted here.

February 1st, 20██: TEST SCORES IN DECLINE: TELEVISION TO BLAME?
A new report from the Ministry of Education has caused a stir, stating that the average high school student of today is scoring around 50% lower than they were only two years ago! Several prominent scientists have explained that the most likely explanation for these lower scores is a new genre of television show known as "Exploitative [REMAINDER ILLEGIBLE]

August 4th, 20██: READING AND WRITING SKILLS IN SHROT SUPPLY; A NATOIN IN PANIC
Another rport from the Ministry of Educaion shows that the reading crom cont skills and writing skills of our entire naton have been becoming increasingly lackin. Scientists are stumped as to why wait I made a mistake how do i delete i forgot how to [REMAINDER ILLEGIBLE]

October 3rd, 20██: WHY CNAT WE SPELE THIS IS MAKIG US NGRY
help us our witerrs keep quitttttting all of dem are staying hom no one smart anymre the science peplle said tha somthing is makng hoels in our brains we kep gettin angry killng each oter so much blud y cant i spekl i anGRY GNIORENGOING [GIBBERISH CONTINUES UNTIL ILLEGIBLE]

December 12th, 20██: IT THE SUNS FAULT KILL SUN
KILL SUN KILL SUN KLL SUN KILL SNU KILL SUN KILL SUN KILL [CONTINUES ON UNTIL ILLEGIBLE]

Addendum 02: Interview With SCP-3068-B

Interviewed: SCP-3068-B

Interviewer: Researcher Wren

Foreword: This interview was taken immediately after the first excursion into SCP-3068-C, who were unprepared for the hostile residents and were eliminated within ten minutes.
[Begin Log]
Researcher Wren: So, SCP-3068-B, can you tell me about what happened to your world? Why the town you were clearly staying in is full of delusional psychopaths?

SCP-3068-B: [struggling against restraints] That…not…name!

Researcher Wren: Those restraints are for your protection. If you remove those, you will be escorted back to your cell by armed guards and face possible punishment. Please believe me and stop struggling.

[SCP-3068-B slowly ceases pulling at his cuffs, slowly settles into chair]

SCP-3068-B: Something…happen to big…glow orb.

Researcher Wren: Glow orb…. Wait. Do you mean the Sun?

SCP-3068-B: Yes! Sun start…putting out…things. [SCP-3068-B mimes what appears to be particles falling through the air]

Researcher Wren: So…. The sun starts emitting radiation. What does this have to do with your world?

SCP-3068-B: [Shakes head in irritation] Not ra-di-a-tion… Something else! Put holes in brains and change bodies! Make…others not think straight! Make us…strong!

Researcher Wren: [Under breath] So this guy thinks the Sun made him stupid? They really are menta-
SCP-3068-B: I…not…stupid!
[SCP-3068-B tears himself from restraints, grabs Researcher Wren, and violently shakes him, leading to the death of Researcher Wren. SCP-3068-B appears to show distress at this, suggesting that his killing was not intentional. SCP-3068-B then attempts to move as far into the corner of the room as humanly possible, while muttering "Not stupid" and "Still clever" to himself. SCP-3068-B remains in this position until guards arrive.]
[End Log]

Addendum 03: On █/█/20██, during a routine exploration of SCP-3068-C, researchers located the former vacation home of SCP-3068-B. Much of the house is entirely destroyed, with messages such as "YU DID THS" and "YO KILD THM" drawn onto the walls with what appears to be a mixture of human and animal blood. While most of the contents of the house had either been demolished or clearly stolen, an intact wall safe in the basement contained what appears to be a standard SD card, but with approx. 500 GB more than the largest capacity card in our reality. When opened, a single file is accessible, with the title "Why.MP3". All spoken dialogue is presumably from SCP-3068-B, having been recorded before his conversion.

If you're hearing this and understanding it, this should mean the board worked. If you're hearing it and you do not, then hello you complete moron! Please refrain from eating my corpse.

[SCP-3068-B sighs]

Where the hell do I begin? [Chuckles] Probably with the aliens. That's right, aliens, Those crazy fucks on those message boards were right all along.

[Sounds of leaning back]

Back in the early 1980's the Canadian government rescued an alien from zher crashed spaceship. That's right, not Roswell, you guys still got that part wrong. We couldn't repair zher ship, but we could fix up zher deep space transponder, and once zher race heard that, they came running, at least by intergalactic standards. About 10 years later, a small armada landed up in the Yukon, I think they explained that away as a meteor shower. They wanted to stick around to see if they could repair their crashed ship, and decided to pay us back by advancing our technology.

[Laughter]

The advancements that we 'made' from then until now? All those crazy greys. We just leaked the info to specific people when we thought the time was right, and then the rest of the world reaped the benefits. They brought us from typewriters to computers to virtual reality in the span of maybe 10 years, and it just got crazier from there. Space flight, jetpacks, interuniversal travel; we were so close to becoming a civilization out of a cheesy sci-fi novel.

[SCP-3068-B pauses]

And then they fixed their ship.

[Another sigh]

Once they got that running, they wanted to take off. They liked our planet and loved our people, but they were homesick. They were tired, and wanted to get back home. Well…. We didn't take that very well. The government got all upset, and even though we knew we couldn't stop them, we sure as hell wanted to try. We shot one before zhe could get on zher ship, but the others managed to escape every missile we threw at them. Then, just as they went past the Sun, we got a message.

[Pause]

It read "WE BROUGHT YOU UP. AND WE CAN BRING YOU DOWN." And bring us down they did. I still don't know what the hell they did to our sun, but our satellites picked up them throwing something into the corona, and a few hours later it began broadcasting some weird signal that seemed to almost piggyback on the light. It only lasted for a few days, but it was enough for the whole planet to become saturated. We all slowly started devolving, becoming dumber, stronger, more violent. That signal gave us strength comparable to a steroid taking gorilla, but it twisted our minds.

The governments of the world weren't immune. Within months, hundreds of wars had broken out, as our heads of state all became dumb, violent people. And of course, they had access to the hyperpowerful weaponry we built with the alien tech, so with all the bombs, and lasers, and god knows what else shredding the atmosphere…. The sky broke.

[Crack of thunder]

Me and my fellows managed to make a few meds that paused the destruction of our brains, but we were only able to make so much before the infrastructure collapsed. I ran out a few days ago. I can already feel the change.

I gathered up what research and materials they had given us involving interuniversal travel and got to my home in ████████ before everything really went to hell. I'm going to build it into my paddleboard, since it's about the only rideable thing in this house that those crazy dumbasses haven't blown up or set on fire yet. If I can get this into a current, I might be able to break that damn 10 Km/h limit. Hopefully I get all this done before I entirely lose it. And if I have by the time I manage to get out of here…. Well, hopefully this will keep another Earth from fucking everything up again.