Voidman's fucking bullshit ideas

Item #: SCP-2817

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2817 is to be kept in a standard 8X8X8 meter cell. Cell is to be filled with no less than 18 food containers at a time. Containers are to be evenly distributed across the floor of the cell and food bowls are to be refilled by D-Class personnel every 63 hours. Subject is to be constantly monitored by two mounted video cameras. No outside food is to be brought within a 30X30 meter radius around the subject. Dr. ████ is to be allowed entry once every week for no more than 30 minutes at a time to interact with subject. Further capabilities testing is to be approved by no more than two Level 3 Personnel by request.

Any and all requests for cross-testing with other SCPs are to be subsequently denied until further notice. (See Addendum 2817-A for more information)

Description: SCP-2817 is a slightly overweight male specimen of genus felis catus, otherwise known as the common house cat, and is anatomically identical to other specimens of the same species. SCP-2817 was discovered on the streets of New York City by a young couple when its anomalous properties were revealed. Subjects were subsequently given Class-C Amnestics and SCP-2817 was taken into Foundation Custody.

SCP-2817's anomalous properties manifest when any container with a diameter of less than 3 meters comes in vicinity of SCP-2817. SCP-2817 will attempt to consume contents of said container. Subject will be able to fully consume contents of container with little difficulty, regardless of contents. SCP-2817 has shown to be able to consume reinforced steel, concrete, diamond, and [REDACTED], though subject has shown affinity for standard cat food. SCP-2817 has been shown to be able to teleport to any food container in its closest proximity if none are present. There does not seem to be any upper limit to this range, as tested at Site[REDACTED], where subject was able to spontaneously appear at food container approximately ██ kilometers away. Any attempts to track or determine location of contents of container after consumption has met with malfunctions and glitches in equipment.

For further testing, see Addendum SCP-2817-A.

Addendum 2817-A: A series of tests took place to test the limits and capabilities of SCP-2817.

Test Conducted July 16, 20██ by Junior Researcher ██████ ██, 21:15 EST:

Test 2817-A-1: Cat food placed on ground of testing area.
Result: Subject refused to eat.

Test 2817-A-2: Food bowl filled with cat food placed in front of subject.
Result: Subject was able to consume contents of without difficulty.

Test 2817-A-3: Cardboard box filled with cat food placed in front of subject.
Result: Same result as Test 2817-A-2.

Test 2817-A-6: One live specimen of brown rat placed in food bowl.
Result: When approached by SCP-2817, specimen attempted to escape confinement but was seemingly unable to, as if held back by an unseen force. SCP-2817 continued to eat specimen alive until no traces were left.

Test 2817-A-10: Metal sealed safe containing cat food was placed in front of subject. SCP-2817 was not made aware of any possible food inside said safe.
Result: Cat was shown to disappear spontaneously. Upon opening of safe SCP-2817 was shown inside safe with no cat food present.

Note: It appears our earlier hypothesis was wrong. SCP-2817 will, in fact, take food from any container as long as it possesses food. Will now proceed to test capabilities on non-food objects.


Test 2817-A-17: Single ingot of reinforced steel placed in food bowl.
Result: Subject appeared to consume the ingot in its entirety, biting off small bits at a time.

Test 2817-A-18: 2 kilograms of diamonds.
Result; Subject proceeded to consume contents without event, though noticeably slower than before. Tests to be postponed until same time tomorrow.

Test 2817-A-19: 5X5 Meter Container brought in by personnel. Contains 1 50X53 inch widescreen TV of ████ brand.
Result: Subject refused to eat.

Test 2817-A-20: Widescreen TV removed from container and replaced with cat food.
Result: Subject refused to eat.

Test 2817-A-22: ███-████ ██████ ██████ ████ ████.

Note: SCP-2817 has proven especially helpful in neutralizing other SCPs. Will send request to the 05 council for approval. Scope would be very limited, though. Not a lot of SCPs that can fit in a food bowl.

Test 2817-A-23: Piece of SCP-260 put in food bowl.
Result: Mittens was able to ingest it without incident.

Test 2817-A-24: SCP-████-█ instance placed in food bowl.
Result: Subject refused to eat. After subsequent prompting subject became visibly agitated.

Test 2817-A-25: SCP-871 carried to SCP-2817's location and placed in food bowl.
Result: After one bite SCP-871 instance is replaced. Subject is visibly confused, but bites into it again with the same result. SCP-871 instance taken back.

Test 2817-A-26: SCP-███ placed in food bowl.
Result: Cat ingests SCP-███, seemingly unphased. Approximately 6 hours later, 09:19 EST all researchers and D-Class personnel in a 50-meter radius of SCP-2817 [REDACTED]. Apparent cause of death rapid asphyxiation. Autopsies revealed most if not all victims' organs collapsed in on themselves. Further examination led to [DATA AUTHORIZED TO LEVEL 4 PERSONNEL ONLY] agents Carter and ███████. SCP-2817 was not visibly affected in any way. Since cross-test with SCP ███, deemed Incident 2817-A1, subjects around SCP-2817 have reported feeling visibly nauseated, and X-Ray scans have revealed tissue damage to internal organs similar to, but on a much lesser scale to victims of Incident 2817-A1. Following this incident, significant seismic activity has been reported in [REDACTED]. Cross testing with other SCPs has of now been denied to all personnel.

Addendum 2817-B: The following message was found on a folded-up paper embedded in collar around SCP-2817's neck at time of retrieval.

#06: Mittens
If you find him, feed him well! He'll clean up your scraps when you won't. When you don't want something and you can't get rid of it and you can't stop thinking about it and you just want it out of your sight forever, feed it to Mittens! He'll clean up the scraps of your broken dreams and make sure they never come back!

Signed, [REDACTED]

Further investigations pending.