Heinzrich Beanler

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: Keter

Dude really? It is just in the Fridge? — Dr. █████

Object Class: Keter Safe

BUT IT IS A BLOCK OF FUCKING CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — Dr. ████

OH SHIT YOU ARE RIGHT TIME TO RE-CLASS THAT FUCKING SHIT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — Dr. ███

Object Class: Keter Safe SUPER DUPER FUCKING KETER!!!!!!!!!!

Special Containment Procedures: KEEP IT IN THE THE FUCKING FRIDGE IN THE FUCKING CAFETERIA AT ALL FUCKING TIMES OR YOU WILL BEING FUCKING KILLED BY THE BLOCK OF FUCKING CHEESE UNTIL YOU FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Description: it is just a block of cheese so it is fine IT IS A BLOCK OF FUCKING CHEESE AND IF IT FALLS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR IT WILL FUCKING KILL YOU DUE TO YOU FUCKING DROPPING THE BLOCK OF FUCKING CHEESE!!!!!!! SOMETIMES YOU CAN FLY INTO FUCKING SPACE IF YOU DROP THAT FUCKING THING!!!!!!!

Addendum XXXX-J-1: THE BLOCK OF FUCKING CHEESE SENT 1 OF OUR FUCKING CAFETERIA STAFF MEMBER FUCKING FLYING INTO FUCKING SPACE DUE TO FUCKING DROPPING THE BLOCK OF FUCKING CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — Dr. ███

Addendum XXXX-J-2: HEY DURING A FUCKING 008 BREACH THE FUCKING ZOMBIE ATE A BIT OF THE BLOCK OF FUCKING CHEESE AND FUCKING DIED AND THE FUCKING 008 BREACH ENDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — Dr. ████

Addendum XXXX-J-3: Fucking hell, this thing blew 682 to pieces… I wonder if we could kill him with it? — Dr. ████

Addendum XXXX-J-4: What the actual fuck is this shit, look if you guys keep on making these "J" SCPs I swear i will fuckin- *The Block Of Fucking Cheese Enters His Room* HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT IS A BLOCK OF FUCKING CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — O5-█