Hochmaster
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: 'Tarded

Keepin' it from touchin' crap:I reckon th' germ should be pretty fuckin' nasty to touch and handle and shit, so just keep it on the pee-tree dish like them researchers like to keep it. Don't really matter if its out in the open, what's it gonna do, hop out and gitcha?

What this lil' faggot is: This piece 'a shit is a germ that turns a good time huntin' with your buds into an all-out clusterfuck. I seen it too! My buddy Clem was a good ol' boy, and I went bow-fishin' with him all th' time in those gator swamps in Louisiana. He wanted to bring home a gator skin to his cousin and ask her ta marry 'im. 'Fore I knew it, th' swamp got him with that nasty shit and he was turning into some high-fallutin' city boy faggot fuck. Started talkin' 'bout stupid shit like his 'home insurance rates' and his 'office cubicle'. Didn't understand what in the hell he was sayin', and I damn near chucked him off the boat for being such a lil' bitch.

Other shit: Well, what the hell else y'all need to know?

Note: Who let this sodomite into the Foundation? More importantly, why isn't he terminated yet? Someone get on that. - Dr. Bright