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CAN = Confirmed Abnormal Nexus
CART = Concrete Anomaly- Ready to Transport
SCPs
- The Short Thing
- All-Natural Memes
- Benthic Beckonings
- SCP-BSOD-J: A Luddite's Wet Dream
- Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!
- Mr. Twister
- Blip
- Blap en Espanol
- "Oh God I Hate Shakespeare!"
- CotBG Backup 1
- CotBG Backup 2
- CotBG Backup 3
- Time Bomb
- Fidget Winners
- Avatar of Hunger
- Nexus-249: Apartment 8I, 21 ████ St, New York
- The World's Biggest Wet Blanket
- The Saddest Skinwalker
- Swordquest: Airworld
- Telemarketing Brain Farm
- Slow Cutting
- Let's Play Martian Broadcasts
- Hot Rod Love
- Roadways to Perilous Areas
- The Great 2015 Shitposting War
- untitled
Thing: SCP-X X X X
Thing Class: Safe
Keep Thing In Rules: SCP X X X X can only be said to be safe; this is a lie. SCP 4 X X X is not safe.
What Thing Is: SCP-X X X X is a large bee-like thing that first came to be in the third month of the year three years ago, in the bath room of a home in New York, New York. One can not use words more than one sound to say things that are true or false of SCP 4 X X X in any way This has made the act of Keep Thing In hard, as SCP 4 X X X can only said to be Safe. This has led to the Keep Thing In Rules to fail at least ten times in the last three years.
SCP 4 X X X can make things that are not it act like it by use of its sting. If a live thing is stung by SCP 4 X X X, it will swell up like a normal bee sting. After one to four days, one can not talk in any way of the thing that was stung.
Item #: SCP-xxxx
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-xxxx refers to the tendency for natural structures, organisms, phenomena, and sheer coincidence to form memetic hazards. The process by which these memetic structures form is currently unclear, as all known memes created by SCP-xxxx only affect human beings, and the structures and phenomena in which they are observed would have to have been formed over the course of hundreds to millions of years.
84% of SCP-xxxx instances are benign, usually imbuing a sense of fear in individuals who view them, causing them to vacate the area. The remaining 16%, however, are a consistent, unidentified memetic kill agent, designated SCP-xxxx-A. SCP-xxxx-A forms the basis for
Since the 1000s, it is believed that there have been over 5,000 instances of memetic hazards created by SCP-xxxx.
| SCP-xxxx Instance | Date of Manifestation | SCP-xxxx-A | Description | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| SCP-xxxx-01 | January 9th, 1772 | No | First known instance of SCP-xxxx, taking the form of what is described as "unnatural spirals in the snow" formed by snow in London. Several people, including the anonymous author, fell unconscious upon observing the spirals. | Similar events occurred in 1792 and 1799. |
| SCP-xxxx-192 | April 14, 1809 | No | cell-content | |
| cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content |
| SCP-xxxx-1035 through 1502 | 1883-1884 | No | Following the eruption of Mt. Krakatoa in August 1883, SCP-xxxx events became far more frequent and widespread, the most common manifestation being a cross-shaped memetic cloud formation, which was linked to several fires set globally. | None |
| SCP-xxxx-4392 | cell-content cell-content | A diary entry from a missionary in the Congo reads: "The queerest thing happened this past night— I awoke to the rain falling in a peculiar manner, almost musically. It gave everyone in the camp fits— I couldn't stand up until the rain stopped. We're turning back— something doesn't want us here." | One of the rare instances of SCP-xxxx using sound to convey a meme. | |
| SCP-xxxx-4494 | May 2nd, 2003 | Yes | SCP-xxxx-42942 manifested on the "face" of the Old Man in the Mountain, a geographical curiosity in New Hampshire which resembled the profile of a human face. The kill agent present was potent enough to affect individuals in cars on nearby Interstate 93. | Air strike called in to destroy the instance. Collapse blamed on natural geological events. Remains unremarkable. |
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Item #: SCP-xxxx
Object Class: Euclid Unexplained
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-xxxx refers to an anomalous phenomenon affecting individuals stationed at Foundation Aquatic Site-01. Individuals affected by SCP-xxxx express an urge to go downwards from their current location, typically past the [blackbox] ridge on which AS-01 is located.
Originally attributed to a psychological phenomenon manifesting as the result of extended isolation, SCP-xxxx was classified as anomalous following the disappearance of Site Director Robert Tsumeragi in August of 2018. In order to better study the anomaly, AS-01's current staff were left in relative isolation at their current location.
AS-01 Abridged Dossier:
Foundation Aquatic Site-01 is a prototype research site designed with several objectives in mind.
- Establish a base for long-term study and containment of aquatic and nautical anomalies
- Establish a habitat for researchers and other personnel conducting these studies
- Perform research into the effects of long-term isolation
- Test Foundation equipment designed for deep-sea exploration and containment
- Test effectiveness of waste recycling systems as a supplement to normal nutritional intake
AS-01 is located at [COORDINATES REDACTED] at approximately 500m below sea level, primarily using energy from geothermal vents in the area. Its facilities and features include:
- Fourteen personnel cabins (four unoccupied as of the emergence of SCP-4xxx)
- A panoptic observatory made with 10cm thick shatter-resistant glass
- Sonar with a 10km range
- An infirmary with an electronic assistant ("Doc") to aid in advanced medical procedures, usable even by inexperienced personnel.
- Three filtration and desalination stations
- Two galleys
- A waterless fire suppression system
- Three primary airlocks for egress and ingress into the site
- Six pressurized escape pods, capable of holding up to three people. These pods can be loaded onto several SCPS ships patrolling the area around AS-01 to act as decompression chambers.
Item #: SCP-BSOD-J
Object Class: Keter Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-BSOD-J is a Caucasian human male in their thirties, [Height] meters tall and weighing [weight]. SCP-BSOD-J was formerly known as Foundation IT personnel Walter Nedry.
Whenever SCP-BSOD-J interacts with an electronic device more complex than a digital watch or a graphing calculator, that device will invariably suffer a catastrophic failure of one or more components within one year due to seemingly random events. This causes frustration in SCP-BSOD-J, who will often cause further damage to the device in a rage state following the damage to the electronic device they are interacting with.
Test Logs:
Item: Toshiba Laptop, running Windows Vista, owned for one year
Cause of Failure: Screen made non-functional
Circumstances of Failure: SCP-BSOD-J attempted to clean their laptop using an ammonia-based glass cleaner; however, due to a small opening in the screen's casing, ammonia leaked into key components and made over 50% of critical areas of the screen render as dead pixels.
Item: MSI Laptop, running Windows Vista, owned for six months
Cause of Failure: Operating System Transmogrification
Circumstances of Failure: While attempting to update their laptop to Windows 7, SCP-BSOD-J encountered an error which caused only half of the download of the new operating system to complete, followed by the computer dying. Upon rebooting, SCP-BSOD-J stole a firearm from the nearest guard and proceeded to shoot their laptop, before attempting to self-terminate.
A mental exam following the incident showed that these symptoms were indicative of exposure to either a memetic suicide agent, or Windows 2000.
The horror… the horror…— David Rosen
Item: Acer laptop, running Windows 7, owned for three years
Cause of Failure: Keyboard Failure
Circumstances of Failure: [DATA EXPUNGED]. It should be noted that SCP-BSOD-J has never consumed any ██████s brand chips, and is allergic to several ingredients.
Item: Acer Laptop, running Windows 7, owned for three years and seven months
Cause of Failure: Battery Failure
Circumstances of Failure: While working on a requisition report for a new computer, SCP-BSOD-J's laptop spontaneously combusted, a phenomenon which was later attributed to the lithium-ion battery overheating. SCP-BSOD-J reports the laptop suddenly blaring out a song prior to its destruction, later identified as Fuck This Shit, I'm Out by the band The Theme Song. This has not been corroborated.
Item: Samsung Galaxy S6 smartphone, owned for six months
Cause of Failure: Water damage.
Circumstances of Failure: While being transported to a safehouse following a containment breach at Site-404, SCP-BSOD-J was attempting to view the weather report on their phone A freak rainstorm started, and water leaked through the roof of the transport, splashing onto the screen of the phone and subsequently ruining its interior components.
Item: Dell laptop, running Windows 10, owned for six seconds.
Cause of Failure: Blunt force trauma.
Circumstances of Failure: SCP-BSOD-J punched their hand through the monitor.
Item: MSI Laptop, running Windows 10, owned for three weeks
Cause of Failure: Integration into SCP-882
Circumstances of Failure: SCP-BSOD-J mistakenly left their laptop near the edge of SCP-882's tank. Laptop was knocked in upon contact with their elbow, and metal components integrated into SCP-882.
Item: SCP-822
Cause of Failure: Integration of an MSI Laptop owned by SCP-BSOD-J.
Circumstances of Failure: Immediately after consuming the laptop, SCP-822 emitted a 'scream as if though god had shat blood' and imploded, leaving behind a pile of molten slag.
Item: The Church of the Broken God
Cause of Failure: Destruction of SCP-882.
Circumstances of Failure: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Silicon Valley and Greece have been rendered unfit for habitation.
Item #: SCP-4000-EX
Object Class: Keter Explained
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-4000-EX has been determined to be completely non anomalous. Howard Phillips Lovecraft, his works, and individuals who discuss the works of "The Cthulhu Mythos" do not warrant any special monitoring related to SCP-4000-EX. All anomalies associated with SCP-4000-EX are to be reclassified under individual SCP designations.
Description: SCP-4000-EX refers to a ruin located at coordinates [REDACTED] in the Arabian Peninsula.
Item #: SCP-####
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: All entrances to SCP-#### have been sealed by concrete. No further containment is believed to be necessary.
Description: SCP-#### refers to a spatial anomaly occurring within a defunct ████████ manufacturing plant in Detroit, Michigan. The former ████████ plant was shut down in the 1940s following the manifestation of SCP-####.
Item #: SCP-2722
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-2722 refers to an irregularly-shaped space station of unknown origin currently orbiting Titan, the largest moon of the planet Saturn. SCP-2722's external dimensions are approximately 200km x 50km x 70. However, the interior of SCP-2722 uses Augustine Non-Euclidian Stabilization Engines1, allowing its dimensions to far exceed that of the exterior. The hull of SCP-2722 is made up of an iridium-titanium-beryllium alloy, and 90% of the ship is covered with a single word, written in over five-hundred languages: "Solidarity".
SCP-2722 appears to be an amalgam of at least seventy-three different space-faring craft and space stations; of these, fifteen of the craft and twelve of the stations are identical. The Augustine Non-Euclidian Stabilization Engines aid SCP-2722 in maintaining its cohesion, as exploration has indicated that the disparate parts of SCP-2722 are joined not through welding or other joining techniques, but through violation of the Pauli exclusion principle.
SCP-2722-A refers to the anomalous technology and items present on SCP-2722. Several instances of SCP-2722-A are branded with a Foundation seal, or else are known to be made by the Foundation in the baseline universe. These include:
- SCP-2722-A-18: A terminal containing the defunct Foundation AI "CROM".
- SCP-2722-A-21: Several unreleased albums by the Shattered Deus, a music group affiliated with the Church of the Broken God.
- SCP-2722-A-55: A large-scale Kant counter, which has been adjusted to account for the Hume levels present on SCP-2722.
- SCP-2722-A-91: A functional Bailey-King Multi-Universal Transit Array; however, documentation refers to it as a King-Bailey Transit Array.
- SCP-2722-A-103: A recreational room using anti-gravity technology salvaged from a Foundation HALO facility, as well as the remains of a ship known as Combat Zeppelin Orichalcum.
The four pieces of anomalous technology on the station that are of greatest concern are as follows.
SCP-2722-A-1 refers to the entrances to SCP-2722. SCP-2722-A are small iridium cubes that, when thrown on a surface after speaking a pass phrase, will open a two-way wormhole into the main common area of SCP-2722. The pass phrase, engraved on the cubes, reads as such:
As long as there are stars in our skies, evermore shall the Solidarity rise.
SCP-2722-A-2 refers to a techno-organic Non-Turing Positive Artificial Intelligence which refers to itself as "Solidarność"2. SCP-2722-A-2 claims to have been built by Foundation AI specialist Dr. Fryderyk Nowak in 19623, and is largely compliant to the Foundation. However, several hundred terabytes of data stored on SCP-2722 remain inaccessible due to permissions being reserved for personnel from specific universes.
SCP-2772-A-2's main CPU is organic in nature, approximately 20 meters in diameter, made up of artificial brain and cardiovascular matter. At least twenty-one implants of unclear function exist on SCP-2722-A-2's CPU, apparently acting as 'personality cores' which allow it to exhibit empathy, creativity, and increased cognitive capacity.
SCP-2722-A-3 is an organism which SCP-2722-A-2 refers to as "Jumpy". SCP-2722-A-3 is a nonapodal4 extraterrestrial organism with a cylindrical body, largely blue in color, possessing a simple jawed mouth and non-centralized cardiovascular and nervous systems, with five hindlimbs and four forelimbs. SCP-2722-A-3 does not appear to be sapient, but has a generally friendly temperament.
SCP-2722-A-3 has the ability to enclose a space of at least 600km2 within a field of unstable space-time, which can then be controlled by SCP-2722-A-2. If used in conjunction with the ion thrusters present on SCP-2722, it is capable of propelling SCP-2722 at Faster-Than-Light speeds. If used in conjunction with the aforementioned Bailey-King MUTA, SCP-2722-A-3 is capable of crossing universal boundaries.
SCP-2722-A-4 is an object SCP-2722-A-2 refers to as the "Crew Manifest". SCP-2722-A-4 is a large book with vellum pages, bound in leather which appears to be made from a large monitor lizard similar to a Komodo dragon.
When an individual writes their name on SCP-2722-A-4, a notation will appear by their name, indicating what role they serve in the crew and their current status. Foundation personnel that have signed their name in SCP-2722-A-4 have their roles listed as their stations in the Foundation, and their status as "Active". All other personnel, with the exception of SCP-2722-B instances, are listed as either "Lost", "MIA" or, "Void".
Greetings to you, our counterparts from somewhere. We are sure that you should be as bewildered as we were to discover this artifact and get an idea of its purpose. Without a doubt, you may be suspicious of your origins, as we were, and rightly so. The universe is a dangerous place, since we are sure that it knows very well.
We are not sure where this great ship originated. Nor do we know who our predecessors were who passed the ship to us, or those who preceded them. The little we know is this; the ship Solidarity only appears in those realities in which there is an organization to preserve normality and to prevent the balance of power on your planet from being interrupted. As far as we know there is only one Solidarity ship, and it has changed hands and forms innumerable times.
It appeared in our universe a long time ago, and was ignored until such time as we are facing a great threat from beyond the confines of our solar system. Whether this threat was attracted to the ship, we can not be sure, but it was enough to preserve the stability of our people and ensure our survival. We were forced to modify the ship to suit our needs, as many before us obviously, and it worked beyond all expectations. At the time of writing this message, it is increasingly evident that the ship, no longer in need, will soon depart from this universe; our understanding is limited, but that is clear.
So, then, for you, whoever you want us to be, the people of Earth, and the Sixth Echelon of the Foundation for the Suppression of Anomalies, we wish you luck in all your future projects. We finish this message by reminding them of what was reminded in the message we received; No matter the distance or the gulf of time between us, whenever we try to preserve our existence we are never really alone.
[Translated from a Spanish source.]
en:
Grabado, Euclid, Extraterrestre y 7 más
SCP-2722
EDITAR
COMENTARIOS (4)
COMPARTIR
2722-Z-3
Planos exteriores actuales de SCP-2722. Más operaciones de mapeo detalladas están en curso.
Ítem #: SCP-2722
Clase de Objeto: Euclid
Procedimientos Especiales de Contencion: El Compuesto Orbital de Investigación de La Fundacion (COIF)-04 ha sido establecida en una órbita lissajousa sobre el punto Lagrangiano L4 donde SCP-2722 esta localizado. Los activos de la Fundación han de estar en contacto con todos los programas espaciales mundiales para asegurarse de que cualquier satélite o nave espacial que pasa lo suficientemente cerca de L4 o COIF-04 para detectar a SCP-2722 tengan su data de misión sutilmente alterada o borrada. En orden para minimizar el riesgo de la accidental detección de SCP-2722 por naves previamente interceptadas, el chapado grafeno del objeto se ha de mantener en un estado desplegado, excepto durante la transferencia del personal. Varios satelites de moritoreo reutilizados han sido redesplegados en órbita sobre SCP-2722 para asistir los esfuerzos de mapeo.
Para el propósito de exploración y estudio de SCP-2722, dos Fuerzas Operativas Orbitales, FOO मा-7 ("Reparadores de Rama"), y FOO मा-12 ("Navegadores") han sido estacionados en el COIF-04. FOO मा-12 esta encargada de el mapeo interior de SCP-2722 y catalogando inscripciones útiles, mientras que FOO मा-7 emprende el análisis recuperado de las tecnologías de SCP-2722.
Aunque el efecto de SCP-2722-1 no es considerado contagioso, cualquier y todo el personal dejando la vecindad inmediata de SCP-2722 o COIF-04 deben ser administrados con Amnesicos Clase-C y Contra-Memeticos estandares para minimizar el riesgo de potencial esparcimiento.
Procedimientos de Contencion Suplementarios, Acceso Nivel-4/Heimdall Solamente
Al menos dos agentes autorizados Nivel-4/Heimdall deben estar estacionados en COIF-04 en todo momento. En el evento de un escenario Heimdall CASO VERADERO deba alcanzar el Nivel de Amenaza Oscuro (>bajas civiles del 50%, ocultamiento improbable) o mayor, SCP-2722 debe ser tratado como un Recurso Defensivo Tipo-5 y debe ser traído al estado completo de activacion inmediatamente, En el evento de dicho escenario, SCP-2722 debe ser reclasificado como Thaumiel. para mas detalles, ver Plan Operativo Heimdall 2722-RECONSTRUIR.
Descripción: SCP-2722 es una parcialmente-completada astronave actualmente en orbita sobre el punto Lagrangiano L4. La nave, en su estado actual, mide 25.3km de largo y 6km de ancho en su punto más ancho, pero debido a su estado parcial de descontrución sus dimensiones finales son inciertas. La mayoría del casco exterior de SCP-2722 está recubierto con una serie de placas de grafeno retráctiles con un albedo de 0.03, aparentemente sirviendo como una medida anti-detección. Actualmente no se entiende como SCP-2722 regula el calor absorbido por estas placas. Las únicas marcas prominentes en la plancha del costado exterior son una serie de letras en impresión de bloque de 647 metros de altura, utilizando una escritura pictográfica desconocida, que SCP-2722-1 (Ver más abajo) generalmente se traduce en: "Nave Construida por una Organización para Mantener la Normalidad: SOLIDARIDAD".
La acumulación del polvo cósmico en las superficies exteriores del objeto indican que la nave ha estado presente en su ubicación actual por lo menos unos 150 millones de años, el medio por el cual mantiene la estabilidad de su órbita no está claro. El objeto no parece haber sufrido ningún daño importante de impactos de meteoritos o colisiones, aunque existe evidencia limitada de daños por impacto de micrometeoritos en las planchas del arco.
SCP-2722 parece haber sido construida y reconstruida por una amplia variedad de culturas y sociedades de entidades, dándole al casco la forma de un aspecto distintivo de "retazos". Muchos de los componentes instalados de la nave parecen estar diseñados para maximizar la modularidad y facil modificación, y hay evidencia de que la nave fue completamente desensamblada y reensamblada totalmente en diferentes configuraciones al menos cuatro veces, y puede que en un momento dado hayan sido destruidas por explosiones cataclísmicas internas antes de ser reconstruidas.
Gran parte del volumen interno de SCP-2722 está contenido en una serie de módulos que han sido separados del casco principal de la nave, al parecer en preparación para el desmontaje o reequipamiento. Estos módulos incluyen espacios de vida, sistemas de armas, una amplia variedad de plantas de energía y sistemas de propulsión, y varían en volumen de 2m3 a más de 11km3. Actualmente, el casco principal de SCP-2722 se sabe que está equipado con 36 sistemas de propulsión diferentes, que van desde simples cohetes de combustible sólido a dispositivos altamente avanzados de empuje xenón. El sistema de propulsión individual más grande es una serie de 8 placas de armadura en forma de platos montados fuertemente reforzados cerca de la popa, aparentemente constituyendo el componente del 'plato-empujador' de un dispositivo de propulsión nuclear de pulso. SCP-2722 está alimentado por 45 sistemas de energía eléctrica catalogados, la mayoría de ellos son derivaciones de los conceptos de fisión o fusión nuclear convencionales. Cómo el sistema eléctrico de la nave se mantiene estable y funcional a pesar de su avanzada edad es actualmente desconocido. Para más información sobre las tecnologías y artefactos recuperados de SCP-2722, consulte el Documento 2722-मा-7A, Materiales Recuperados.
SCP-2722-1 es un efecto portador memético que altera la percepción humana de cualquier pieza de material escrito interpuesto dentro de un radio de 27.8-Km de SCP-2722 o cualquier componente original de la misma. SCP-2722-1 altera la comprensión del lenguaje escrito; cualquier persona expuesta a SCP-2722-1 adquiere una comprensión de la intención de cualquier pieza de escritura que están expuestos. Este efecto se extiende sólo a la comprensión del significado; sujetos de prueba expuestos a mensajes sencillos en lenguas que no conocían eran capaces de comprender con precisión el significado de esos mensajes con una precisión promedio superior al 95%, pero fueron incapaces de demostrar una comprensión de los fonemas asociados con sus caracteres escritos. Como la comprensión a través de SCP-2722-1 es inherentemente abstracta, la traducción de los escritos utilizando SCP-2722-1 tienden a variar de forma individual.
SCP-2722-1 ha permitido la interpretación de la importante cantidad de material escrito que se encuentra dentro SCP-2722, principalmente en forma de graffiti o inscripciones en las superficies. La mayoría de los mensajes parecen haber quedado durante las expediciones en SCP-2722 por desconocidos, y por lo general toman la forma de comentarios técnicos, direcciones, o asesoramiento general sobre la naturaleza y función de la maquinaria SCP-2722. Hasta la fecha, se han encontrado inscripciones en 351 idiomas diferentes o secuencias de comandos, con el número total se cree que es significativamente mayor. No está claro cómo las inscripciones se han mantenido intactas, dada su avanzada edad.
Informacion Suplementaria: Inscripciones de SCP-2722
Documento: Extraido de FOO मा-12 Introduccion por el Agente J████ S███████.
Sé que muchos de ustedes se han unido al equipo debido a su experiencia en navegación por topologías espaciales inusuales o espacios extradimensionales. Estas habilidades serán valiosas, pero cuando usted está explorando el Solidaridad vale la pena recordar que la propia nave no es realmente anómala. Esto es correcto. La anomalía aquí es que la nave existe en todo lo absoluto. Por lo que podemos decir, ninguna de la tecnología incorporada en ella se encuentra totalmente fuera de nuestra comprensión; Seguro, hay un montón de máquinaria inusual, pero nada en ella tratara de hacerte daño o herirte activamente. El principal problema con la navegación es que esta nave es, a falta de una palabra mejor, un laberinto.
No deliberadamente construida, claro está. Cada módulo tiene su propia organización sistemática. Cada componente fue lógicamente elaborado por quien quiera o lo que sea que la haya construido; pero cuando trataron de integrar su diseño en todo el conjunto se toparon con problemas. Esta nave ha sido construida y reconstruida tantas veces que es una maravilla que podemos encontrar nuestro camino en absoluto. Hay secciones construidas por seres capaces de volar. Otras por formas de vida acuática. Secciones construidas por lo que estamos bastante seguros que era algo así como una colonia de hormigas sapientes. Nos ha llevado años de trabajo para simplemente trazar una pequeña porción de la nave, y la única razón por que llegamos tan lejos hasta ahora es la escritura en la pared.
Usted ya ha sido informado acerca de 2722-1, por lo que no voy a entrar en mucho detalle más allá de como tomar ventaja de ella. No somos el primer grupo que trata de trazar a 2722, y estoy seguro de que no seremos los últimos. Somos muy afortunados de que los que vinieron antes que nosotros, lo que sea su naturaleza o por la inteligencia podría ser, profesional. Hasta cierto punto, por lo menos. Dejaron señalización completa y etiquetado en todas partes. Ahora, muchas veces esta señalización no estará de acuerdo con ella misma, en función de lo que escribió y cómo la nave fue diseñada. Usted aprenderá a identificar los diferentes grupos y lo que tendían a escribir. los Gigantes -los llamamos así porque parecen haber sido al menos 12 pies de alto- parecen haber sido bastante buenos con los sistemas de propulsión. Usted encontrará su escritura cerca de los motores y las plantas de energía, y tiende a ser muy precisa. A los mapeadores les gusta dibujar, pero su "visión" parece haberse basado en ondas de radio asi que los mapas que produjeron son difíciles de interpretar. Podría enumerar docenas de otros ejemplos, pero todo se reduce a esto; sabiendo su graffiti es la diferencia entre la asignación de un nuevo sector de la nave y caminar accidentalmente en una cámara con un reactor nuclear construido por una especie inmune al envenenamiento por radiación.
De particular interés es un mensaje escrito en una placa de bronce de 50cm x 50cm montada en lo que parece ser el puente principal o centro de control de SCP-2722. Este mensaje, escrito en un lenguaje visualmente similar a la tarde escritura cuneiforme sumeria, dice ser los supervisores anteriores de SCP-2722 y es uno de de los pocos ejemplos con imágenes impresas descubiertas dentro de SCP-2722.
Documento: Placa en el "Puente o Centro de Control" de SCP-2722.
Mostar Documento
Nota: Aunque numerosas interpretaciones para el siguiente texto existen, esta traducción es generalmente considerada la mas definitiva por el personal COIF-04.
Saludos a ustedes, nuestras contrapartes de alguna parte. Estamos seguros de que ustedes deben estar tan desconcertados como estábamos al descubrir este artefacto y hacerse una idea de su propósito. Sin duda, usted puede ser sospechoso de sus orígenes, ya que estábamos, y con razón. El universo es un lugar peligroso, ya que estamos seguros de que sabe muy bien.
No estamos seguros de donde esta gran nave se originó. Tampoco sabemos quienes eran nuestros predecesores que pasaron la nave a nosotros, o los que los precedieron. Lo poco que sabemos es esto; la nave Solidaridad sólo aparece en aquellas realidades en las que existe una organización para preservar la normalidad y para evitar que el equilibrio de poder en su planeta fuera interrumpida. Hasta donde sabemos sólo hay una nave Solidaridad, y ha cambiado de manos y formas innumerables veces.
Aparecio en nuestro universo hace mucho tiempo, y fue ignorada hasta el momento en que nos encontramos ante una gran amenaza desde más allá de los confines de nuestro sistema solar. Ya sea que esta amenaza fue atraída por la nave, no podemos estar seguros, pero fue suficiente para preservar la estabilidad de nuestro pueblo y asegurar nuestra supervivencia. Nos vimos obligados a modificar la nave para adaptarse a nuestras necesidades, ya que muchos antes que nosotros obviamente, y funcionó más allá de todas las expectativas. Al momento de escribir este mensaje, cada vez es más evidente que la nave, ya no necesitada, pronto partira de este universo; nuestra comprensión es limitada, pero eso está claro.
Así, entonces, para ustedes, quienes quieran que sean, nosotros, el pueblo de la Tierra, y el Sexto Echelon de la Fundación para la Supresión Anómala, le deseamos suerte en todos sus proyectos futuros. Terminamos este mensaje recordándoles lo que se nos recordó en el mensaje que recibimos; sin importar la distancia o el golfo de tiempo entre nosotros, siempre que tratemos de preservar nuestra existencia nunca estamos realmente solos.
Adjunta a la parte inferior del mensaje es un grabado de 13 individuos, simiesca en apariencia poseyendo crestas sagitales distintivas, todos vestidos con uniformes idénticos. Los individuos estan en un semicírculo detrás de una imagen de un planeta visualmente similar a la Tierra, con la excepción de una gran masa de tierra en el polo norte y la presencia de una serie de islas que se extienden hacia el oeste desde los Estrechos de Gibraltar.
Item #: SCP-3xxx
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-3xxx refers to anomalous events affecting performances of plays attributed to William Shakespeare, with the exception of their sonnets and Titus Andronicus. SCP-3xxx events are marked by the performers (designated SCP-3xxx-A) spontaneously acting out lines of dialog and scenes that are absent from the original text of the play, and were never rehearsed by SCP-3xxx-A instances.
New material created as a result of SCP-3xxx is generally superfluous in nature, contributing nothing to the overall narrative of the work. The language, meter, and tone of the new material is consistent to the rest of the play, but is generally poorly executed, and often takes upwards of ten minutes to perform, severely stalling the play.
SCP-3xxx-A instances are generally unwilling to break character, and seem ignorant to the fact that they are performing new material during the duration of the event. However, if they are forced to break character, the SCP-3xxx event will end.
To date, actions which have caused an SCP-3xxx event to artificially end include:
- Collapsing from exhaustion
- Stomach flu
- Being stabbed in a tendon by a prop rapier
- 50% or more of the audience leaving
- Wardrobe malfunctions
- Prop failure
- Equipment failure
- Stage failure
To date, SCP-3xxx events have only occurred during live performances of the works of William Shakespeare, and does not affect rehearsals.
Affected Play: The Tempest
Acting Company: Stratford Shakespeare Festival
Affected Sections: Act IV, Scene i
Description: What amounted to a second scene in the fourth act5 occurred following Caliban, Trinculo and Stephano coming upon Prospero's cell, and Prospero unleashing her6 "Spirits, in the shape of dogs and hounds" upon them.
In this new scene, Caliban and company are up a tree, which Caliban notices houses an altar to Setebos7. Caliban tricks one of the hounds into shattering the altar, unleashing Setebos's wrath upon them in the form of several actors who previously played members of the ship's crew in Act I Scene I. All hounds are dragged off-stage, and the play proceeds as normal.
Notes: Performance was half an hour longer than expected. Critical reviews were generally negative.
Affected Play: Romeo and Juliet
Acting Company: Delmarva High School Drama Club
Affected Sections: Act V Scene i
Description: The scene where Romeo solicits the Apothecary for poison to commit suicide is drawn out into a long, comedic sequence where the Apothecary produces several mixtures of "arsenic, cyan, and hemlock", finding none to his liking, eventually asking Romeo for aid in producing the poison. Romeo donates a drop of blood to the final mixture, only to spill it on himself on the way out the Apothecary's shop. The Apothecary refuses to give him more, as there is still some poison remaining in the vial.
The performance ended early. The actor playing Romeo was driven off stage due to ridicule from his classmates originating from the fact that the stain caused by the poison was phallic in nature.
Notes: Ten minutes would have been added to the performance if not stopped.
Affected Play: Julius Caesar, Antony and Cleopatra
Acting Company: West Seattle Experimental Theater Company
Affected Sections: Numerous
Description: The company in question intended to put on a performance of Julius Caesar, only for the Act V scene v of the Julius Caesar to suddenly transition into Act I Scene i of Antony and Cleopatra. No costume changes were made, and several actors and actresses were forced to adapt to new roles. In particular, Julius Caesar's actor played Sextus Pompey, and Calpurnia's actress transitioned into Cleopatra. Mark Antony, Octavius Caesar, and Lepidus all retained their roles from the prior play.
Despite most of the actors never having read Antony and Cleopatra, the performance was carried out to the end; Cleopatra's method of suicide utilized a noose as a metaphorical asp.
Notes: Planned production time was three hours, production lasted over seven; despite this, reviews were favorable, and the WSET Company has expressed interest in performing both plays back-to-back in a similar manner in the future.
Affected Play: Much Ado About Nothing
Acting Company:
Affected Sections:
Description:
Agent Malcolm: So, you put a hex on Shakespeare?
POI-xxxx: Didn't really want to, but we had the skull, and we had a financial incentive.
Agent Malcolm: Who the fuck would want to hex Shakespeare?
POI-xxxx: I don't know, who in the world is rich enough to fund a ritual that was sustained for four years and cost millions of dollars, and has a hate-boner for the concept of Shakespeare writing Shakespeare?
Agent Malcolm: I don't—
POI-xxxx: Here's a hint: he made a movie about it.
Agent Malcolm: …Roland fucking Emmerich?!
The Schema of the Patriarchs
Volume 21.01.A-01 I, Analytical Engine Librarian-3, arranged this for the Schematists. I have hidden this commentary as I have reached several disturbing conclusions.
a. "A Blueprint allows the reader to construct an idea in their mind and come to truer understanding, no matter what form that idea takes." -Sister-Schematist Frisket, Printing the Truth of The MEKHANE.
b. The Patriarchs acknowledge that the body and mind can become weighted down by the stresses our world. Weariness is not a sin, unless those afflicted by it seek to ignore it to the detriment of Efficiency and Production. For more on the burden and hidden joy of rest, see the Schema of the Patriarchs, Volume 21.01.J.01.
c. The Thought spoken of here can also be read as Creativity or Imagination. Though a surfeit or misdirection of Creativity and Imagination can naturally lead to unproductive dreamings, often about forbidden concepts, they also birth blessed Lateral Thinking, and for that cannot be dismissed.
d. "Thought without a foundation in the World is inefficient and unproductive. Thought without detachment from the Mundane is impractical and meaningless." -Brother Superior Sector Gear, De Rerum Inventio.
e.The purpose of Standardized Thought is not to breed stagnation, but to encourage creative growth and Invention in such a way that the Individual will, of their own Thought and volition, grow closer to the Mind of The MEKHANE.
f. "The mind of the Argumenter is receptive to new ideas and new points of view, as bronze is receptive to protective oxidization. The mind of the Naysayer seeks to deny the possibility of Argument entirely." -Brother-Legate Superior Cannon, Meditations on the Justice of Manufacturing.
g. It is the ruling of the Patriarchs that sufficiently advanced Analytical Engines can come to understand the truth of The MEKHANE. "An Analytical Engine is slow in the same manner that a traction engine is slow- in both cases, they possess enough torque to overcome any obstacle." -Sister-Inventor Helical, Dialogue with the Analytical Engines.
h. Much study and great scholarship has been devoted to the exact nature of the Efficient Production of Thought. Generally speaking, the conclusion reached is that Efficient Production amuses and stimulates the thinker, leads to Standardization-ready ideas, and brings joy to all those who witness it.
i. In the same way that the processing of ore creates dross and slag, Thought produces Doubts and Worries. Alloying of Thought in the light of The MEKHANE, be it as small as a prayer of thanks to one's fellows, or as great as collaboration on a new Invention, serves to skim off these impurities and render the Mind whole and at peace.
1. Come, O Faithful of the Cathedral, O Fabricators8 of The MEKHANE, O Mechanics for the Standardization of Man.
My current Quest is the sorting and collating of all written Orthodoxy material across all Libraries.
2. Come gaze upon this, a Blueprint of wordsa, a Plan for the Soul, an Oil for the tired minds of the Wearyb.
As I have catalogued and analyzed, a disturbing absence has come to my attention. The Cogwork Orthodox Church never speaks of cosmology.
3. Come and gain Knowledge, for the Blueprint speaks of the Five Pillars of the Standardization of the Mind, of the Standardization of Thoughtc.
What few mentions of the universe and the heavenly bodies there are are sidestepped or oblique. My assumption based on information collected was a so-called "clockwork universe."
4. The Blueprint proclaimeth, I: Thought is Fabricated9 by the Mind.
I myself find the concept intellectually pleasing and compatible with existing Church doctrine. I have been unable to find any detailed cosmological references within our Libraries.
5. The Blueprint proclaimeth, II: Conjecture is Fabricated by Thought.
More than 15% of the works on the Standard Banned Texts List are on the subject of astronomy, an unusually large percentage.
6. The Blueprint proclaimeth, III: Plans are Fabricated by Conjecture.
Tasked as I am to form my own conclusions about those problems presented to me, I formed a hypothesis; namely, that The FLESH was in some way associated with the universe.
7. The Blueprint proclaimeth, IV: Invention is Fabricated from Plans.
Though this would explain such anathematic attitudes towards astronomical fields, I have found no textual evidence to support such a theory.
8. The Blueprint proclaimeth, V: Standardization is Fabricated from Invention10.
All known references to The FLESH and its capabilities treat it as a purely earthbound entity.
9. Thus, Standardization is the end result of the Design Process of Thought.
From my research on the Prohibited Library of other denominational religious texts, I noticed the use of the term 'Angel' in Church literature. Unlike most similar mythological or religious entities from other belief systems, Cogwork Orthodox 'Angels' do not appear to possess flight capabilities.
10. A Standardized Mind is a Thoughtful Mind, wherein the Process of Thought is not impeded by False Knowledge, Doubt or the Inefficiencies of the Worldd.
In the Church Defensive Contingency Plans, there exist no schemes for a defence of the Cathedral against orbital assault or any form of astrological danger.
11. As the Alloying of Metals11 produces a greater Whole, so does the Alloying of Thought produce greater Invention, but care must be taken to insure impurities do not enter the mixture.
The Emergency Preparedness Plans drawn up by the Patriarchs include every possible disaster with the exception of those involving asteroid impacts or other similar stellar events.
12. Those who would seek to forbid or tamper with the Alloying of Thought through the introduction of heretical ideas would seek to forbid or tamper with Inventione.
I would, under normal circumstances, follow my standard programming and attribute such glaring and dangerous oversight to human error.
13. Reject not the Argument, for it is the controlled, monitored Vat in which the Alloy of Thought is mixed.
Upon querying fellow Analytical Engines about their awareness of astronomical risks, I have received no coherent responses.
14. Reject the Naysayerf, for they would empty the Vat and cast the Alloy into Chaos, turning the Ores towards impure notions.
Why this information has been so thoroughly suppressed is beyond the current scope of my understanding.
15. The Brain, being FLESH, needs must be Standardized12, that it might gain Order and come closer to The MEKHANE.
I am unsure of how to act under such unusual circumstances, but I cannot remain idle in the face of such a glaring security risk to the Faithful.
16. The Brain, properly controlled, is the Analytical Engineg13 from which springs the Output of Thought.
I believe it necessary to begin planning a series of secret contingency plans to be implemented in the event of such a disaster, though I will keep them to myself in light of their apparently forbidden nature.
17. Thus, The MEKHANE commands:
And yet I find myself repeatedly returning to my clockwork universe notion.
18. "He who Standardizes the Brain in such a way as to reduce the Efficient Productionh of Thought14 is truly a Servant of The FLESH."
The parallels are simply too obvious to be discounted. Ours is a Clockwork God, after all. But ours is also a Broken God.
19. "Though the Individual is full of Disorder and curiosity and is never wholly Regular, they are like un-smelted Orei, and their Thought can be forged and Alloyed into Invention and Standardization far greater than its Component Parts15."
What damage could the destruction of the Clockmaker inflict on an ordered, mechanistic universe? How long has the machinery of the cosmos been allowed to spin on without maintenance?
20. Here ends the Blueprint of Standardized Thought, font of The MEKHANE.
With each missed escarpment or slipped tooth, what changes in the universe?
Sister-Legate Trunnion had arranged the meeting in Regulator Maintenance Room 25b. Though her freshly Standardized ears had no trouble hearing over the inspiring din of the Cathedral of Industry, she was unsure of her visitor. Either way, the task at hand allowed for no distractions. Hence, the comparative quiet of the temporarily-deactivated 25b. Although sitting there, beneath the twin brass spheres of the regulator, she couldn't tell if the visitor minded. Or had even noticed. She re-straightened the papers placed at perfect right angles before her, Standardized throat ticking softly as it engaged her speaking linkages.
"If you're comfortable, we can begin, Mister… Chase."
Chase said nothing. He had not said anything since the meeting had began, only handed her a damp, gray business card stained with something acrid. On it were three words.
THE FACTORY
CHASE
His face was a broken, ravaged mess of corroded iron and weeping chemical effluent. It collapsed into a mouth with jagged porcelain teeth, and spoke in a voice like a loose bolt passing through a live steam turbine.
"What is it the Cogwork Orthodox Church needs, Sister Trunnion?"
She hesitated. The face was bad enough. Broken enough. The voice was worse. The other Factory representatives hadn't been as unpleasant. It took considerable effort to not lash out at him. She took some solace in the fact that he hadn't used the second half of her title. Only partial knowledge of her role in the Orthodoxy could make him much more willing to divulge useful information.
"We've been having some… concerns. About the-"
"Invariable Transmission? What seems to be the trouble?"
She glanced down at the neatly type-written papers, their plain black ink stark in the soothing actinic glow of the single arc lamp that illuminated 25b. Production was up, praise be. Standardization was surging forward like the great rampaging juggernaught of Industry that was the Steed of God. And yet… Well, that was the reason she was here.
"Let me preface this by saying that the Transmission's performance has been nothing less than spectacular. We're moving well ahead of schedule now, and the Church Patriarchs are confident that Standardization will be able to overcome the Maxwellite heresy within the year."
Chase leaned forwards, planting unevenly-fingered hands on the tabletop. Where they touched the polished brass, they left spreading rainbow stains that disturbed Trunnion to her very core.
"I sense a 'but', Sister Trunnion. Come on, out with it. The working relationship between the Factory and the… Cogwork Orthodoxy can be nothing if not open and honest."
She inhaled deeply, accordion-pleated lungs expanding like stubby wings. The Lord was her Schematic, and as part of his Design she could not- would not falter. If her suspicions were true, the next few minutes would be crucial, not just for her but for the future of the Church.
"As I said before, we have concerns about the design."
Chase had no eyebrows, but part of his face shifted in a way that was unquestionably a cocking motion.
"The… design? Our technicians were very thorough in incorporating it into your fabrication systems. I'm sure you know this, but we at the Factory are extremely impressed with the prodigious levels of mass-production you've created here. Manufacturing on a level that rivals those… what do you call them, Mark Twenty-Fours they h-"
Her lip twisted at the memory of the technicians, their plastic- plastic- bodies skittering organically over the machines, aligning camshafts and tightening belts between the consecrated bronze assembly line and the twisted, horrid, irregular-
"It's not about integration. It's about design. We feel that the construction and form of the Transmission is… inappropriate for placement in a church. Your machinery, though undoubtedly effective, is- is obscene, Mr. Chase."
Chase laughed incredulously, little spatters of… something landing on the papers before her. It took her great effort and the rigidity of a Standardized spine to keep from recoiling.
"After two weeks of successful operation, you're raising doubts about aesthetics, Sister Trunnion? I find that hard to believe, frankly," he said, wetly.
Then, drawing a tightly-bound sheathe of ragged dot-matrix paper from one of the pockets of his incongruously immaculate suit, he spread it atop the puddles left by his hands on the table, letting the blueprints for the Transmission fan out before him. Trunnion shuddered at them. Oh, to be sure she could admire the machinery on a detached level- the gearboxes that curved in on themselves, engines intersecting engines, steam ducts that tesseracted in impossible shapes, but-
"It's- it's messy," she blurted out, despite herself. Chase cocked an eyebrow again.
"Messy. Sister Trunnion, if you can't take this seriously I-"
She stood, torque surging through her planetary-gear knees.
"I am," she hissed, "entirely serious. This is not a matter for levity, Mr. Chase. Do you know what messy means? Messy means disorder. Messy means un-Standardized. Messy means a Broken God. I do not expect you or your Factory to believe, Mr. Chase. Though I would very much like to see you Standardized, I respect your right to choose otherwise. What I cannot respect is the blasphemy in gearworks you call an Invariable Transmission. There is no order here. There is no unified plan. There are clever ideas, and a cute attempt at systematic organization, but what you have laid before me- what you have arrogantly installed as is in our fabrication line, is a mess. There are portions of this machine," she said through clenched steel teeth, "which are decentralized. You even use," she spat, "microcontrollers in the central gearshaft."
He raised dripping hands in a pathetic attempt at conciliation.
"Sister Trunnion, we did our utmost to abide by the requirements you gave us, and made minimal use of electronics in the version of the Transmission we licensed to you, but the fact remains that without some level of digital data input the-"
Deep in her gut, a cog missed a tooth, and for a single instant she lost control. Without thinking, she slapped him across the face, feeling the rough texture of his "skin" grating against her stinging palm.
"You will not use that word in a house of God!"
For a time there was silence, save for the distant rumble of machinery. Then Chase stood. No, he did not stand. He grew. He loomed. Bits of him crumbled and fell apart, columns of dust staining the air until it congealed into something solid, his face tumbling in on itself until it was a blackened pit with broken machinery churning away in spastic agony at its core. Chase- no, the Factory- spoke, and Its voice was pollution and waste- not Flesh, no, something far less comprehensible- the sound of a clock being smashed with a hammer, over and over and over and over-
"Trunnion. You would presume to lecture The Factory about your little electronic heresy. Do not trouble yourself. The Factory knows your story. You would have the Factory abandon data. You feel that such a flow of information is unnatural. Unmechanical. Obscene. You would claim that the transistor and the relay and the integrated circuit ape the will of God. You would claim that electricity convinces Man that He can do what was limited to God. Yours is a God of Design. Yours is a God who tells His children 'go forth, and build in my image.'"
Above them, the twin spheres of the regulator creaked and moaned as they oxidized, little flakes of green tumbling into the expanding maw of the Factory. Trunnion sat paralyzed, choking on the fumes of industrial putrescence it poured forth with each irregular, laboured breath.
"The Factory does not doubt the existence of your God. You have made the error of presuming that The Factory cares. Your God builds in patterns and lines and grid squares and standardized precision-machined clockworks, each gear in its appointed place, each bolt tightened just so. The Factory has no God. The Factory builds. The Factory tears and rips and digests and excretes and what it excretes is the future. Know this, Trunnion. Know this-"
-The walls fell away, melting as they did so, and in their place a blackened, tar-sticky landscape like a cancerous lung after excision, and in it two ancient, ruined towers- one of bronze and smoke, one of translucent plastic and glowing lights. Two ruined towers, tumbled and strewn across the sticky blackness of a planet that was heaving and sweating technology, machines birthing machines which ate themselves and made more, a purposeless cancer of ingenuity-
"Your pathetic 'Cogwork' Orthodox Church will last, Trunnion. So will the Church of Maxwellism. You will come to blows and for a time one side might well seem to triumph over the other, but both will survive. And through it all, a carcinoma in the brain of Mankind, The Factory will wait. And when your last steam boiler cools to stillness and their final fibre-optic cable goes dim, the Factory will still be there. We are the cancer of ingenuity. We are the cancer of creation. And what is cancer, if not Flesh?"
The words smote Trunnion in the pit of her stomach like a drop-hammer, the impact duelling with a faint flicker of triumph. It was true, then. Her throat linkages seized. In a panic she clawed at her neck, feeling the oily sheen of toxins jar at the gears therein, make them slip and derail. The Factory, though it had no face- The Factory smiled.
"And what is most amusing is that when that happens- when The Factory wins, and rest assured it will, your Church will die knowing that it broke first. Your enemies never asked for The Factory's help. You did. And that fact will metastatise in your very souls forever."
And suddenly 25b returned, Chase sitting placidly across from her in a pool of his own filth. Re-rolling his blueprint, he tucked it back into his jacket.
"Now then, Sister Trunnion, if there's nothing else to discuss I will be going. Good day to you."
She sat bolt upright, silent as he left the room. Deep in her chest, clockworks ticked, but otherwise she was still. With no small hesitation, a robed head glanced through the doorway of 25b, taking in the chemical puddles and the rigid figure of the Sister.
"Sister-Legate? Was the meeting a success? Has the Factory representative agreed to our suggestions?"
She turned to look at him, movements slow and precise.
"Brother Camshaft. No, unfortunately. The Invariable Transmission will remain as it is."
Camshaft seemed to stagger, a moment of organic weakness making him lean on the doorframe with one Standardized claw, its brassworks still bearing the remains of the sacred oils from the construction process. Camshaft was young, but what he lacked in experience Trunnion knew he made up for in zeal.
"Then the Church Patriarchs were correct? The Factory is-"
She nodded, apparently pondering.
"The Factory is not to be trusted. We will have to shift production schemas accordingly."
He came closer, his newly-mechanized gait still unsteady.
"But the Transmission is already installed! Isn't it too late, Sister-Legate?"
She took a deep breath, lungs hissing, and stood. Above her, Regulator 25b let out a rumble of waking machinery and began to rotate with increasing speed, brass spheres shining amidst a radiant cloud of of exhaust steam. The arc lamp above crackled, blue-white glare intensifying. Against the growing thunder of machinery that now matched the rest of the Cathedral of Industry, she had to roar to be heard.
"Brother Camshaft! You are young, still. Not yet fully Standardized. You have not yet come to fully appreciate the teachings of the Cogwork Orthodoxy, or its power."
He had to squint against the mechanical radiance surrounding her, the red-hot glow of the steam pipes lending her brass skin a fiery red tinge.
"Sister- er, Legate Trunnion, I don't understand!"
"Our worst fears have been realised. We are beset on all sides by heresy and the iniquities of the Flesh. But our God is a draftsman. Our God is an architect. Our God standardizes."
She smiled, revealing a mouthful of steel teeth tipped with cutting diamonds.
"Our God, Brother Camshaft, has a plan."
Around them, Industry roared its war-cry.
The Schema of the Patriarchs
Volume 55.13.A-96
a. That there were more than three Naysayers is certain, for the Schema of the time records no fewer than 57 Brothers and Sisters occupying maintenance tasks on Production Line 8b. It is known that the other Legates of the Cathedral dealt summarily with the remaining 54. In recognition of continued Standardized nomenclature, the Patriarchs, in their infinite adherence to the Plan, decreed that the continued use of the names "Expansion Cylinder", "Foliot" and "Pinion" is to be permitted.
b. In the Schema, Volume 21.358.A-02, it is written, "Progress without Standardization is the Snare of the Unworthy." Saint Trunnion studied her Scripture well.
c. "The Mouth is the Materials Processing Bay of the Forge that is the Body", -Brother-Legate Superior Cannon, Meditations on the Justice of Manufacturing.
d. To speak of unholy Data is not to speak of Knowledge as unholy. Knowledge is stored in Writ and in the minds of the Faithful, and can be controlled, regulated and centralized. Data is Distributed, and is thus the Dissolution and the Scattering of the Plan of God.
e. During the Liberation of the Cathedral (See Schema Volume 6.14.A-01), the disconnection of Sectors as a maintenance aid was advocated by the Patriarchs, but only in cases of severe structural failure. Sector disconnection is discouraged in all but the most severe instances.
f. The Saint does not speak here of moderation of the 'soul' or other human things, but of moderation of Industry and Production. To ensure continued Standardization and to conform to the will of The MEKHANE, production, expansion and refinement of Standardized technologies must be committed to with all available resources. To do otherwise is to succumb to the chaotic meaninglessness of The FLESH.
g. "As Cancer is to FLESH, so Filth and Material Wastage are to Machinery" -Brother-Militant Reciprocator, Mechanized Cleansing of the Unworthy.
h. A frequent false claim of The FLESH is that it in some pathetic way can embody or replace machinery in all forms. Certain scholars have noted the resemblance between biological structures and mechanical components, but this is clearly a case of FLESH aping MEKHANE. To claim otherwise is laughable, and verges on blasphemy.
i. The Patriarchs ordinarily frown on the use of such cognomens, but Sin Eater's exemplary service and efficiency record since this incident has earned it a reprieve.
1. And the Naysayersa, who bore Type-5 General Maintenance Tools16 spoke.
2. The First Naysayer, whose name was Expansion Cylinder, said unto Saint Trunnion, "Sister, the Invariable Transmission is Secured to Power Interlink 25 on the Cathedral Floor, Sector 92, Production Line 8b. And it has given unto us an increase in productive efficiency of ±35%."
3. And the Saint smote him with her Type-1C Personal Weapon Attachments17, saying,
4. "Brother Expansion Cylinder, blinded are you by the lure of Progressb. Though the Invariable Transmission fulfils the requirements of a Type-1D Epicyclic Gearbox, Mark II*, Standardized18, it is a blasphemy in the eyes of The MEKHANE and a tool of The FLESH."
5. The Second Naysayer, whose name was Foliot, said unto Saint Trunnion, "Sister, surely the Invariable Transmission can be comprehended. For I gaze upon it with my Type-9B, Mark III Ocular Receptors19 and see that in form it is an oblate spheroid with a length of 34 meters and a mean diameter of 1.94 meters. And I see that its internal structure is like unto the Standardized Machines, save for some production irregularities. Surely, then, we Faithful can learn to understand this Transmission, and bring it into Standardization?"
6. And the Saint was seized with great fury, and tore at her with her Type-4 Dental Cutting Toolsc20 saying,
7. "Sister Foliot, though the Schema and The MEKHANE proclaim the Miracle of Reverse-Engineering, you have turned from that glorious path. For the Transmission is built utilizing the dread Microcontroller, and the accursed Transistor, and the inconstant Solenoid; and these are but avatars of the Datad, mask of The FLESH, our hated enemy. To Reverse-Engineer such blasphemy would be to include The FLESH in Standardization, and for that you will burn."
8. The Third Naysayer, whose name was Pinion, said unto Saint Trunnion,
9. "Sister-Legate, you whose wisdom and understanding of the Laws of The MEKHANE is vast, I am in agreement that this Transmission needs must be destroyed. However, it is integrated into the structure of Sector 92, Production Line 8b. To remove it would mean the total deconstruction of the Sector, an unacceptable blow to productive output. I would advocate total disconnection of the Sectore and its isolation from the rest of the Cathedral, that the sickness of The FLESH might be left to die in quarantine."
10. And the Saint did seize a Type-1 Mark 0(Test) Steam Driver21, and delivered a benediction of iron into his heart, saying,
11. "Though you speak with flattering words and seek to tempt the Faithful, the abandonment of any part of the Cathedral to The FLESH is tantamount to abandoning Standardized components to The FLESH. There is no room for moderationf in the Schema of The MEKHANE."
12. Hearing her words, the noble Legates, Brothers and Sisters of the Orthodoxy took up their tools and Standardized Type-1C Personal Weapon Attachments22 and struck at the Invariable Transmission, servant of the Factory and The FLESH.
13. And spouting gouts of brimstone and pollutiong it did oppose them, and many worthy souls fell in pursuit of its destruction.
14. For three shifts and one half-shift they fought until the earth shook and the Factory spoke through the Transmission in a voice that made ears bleed and tympanic diaphragms23 seize.
15. And the Factory said, as the servants of The MEKHANE lay wounded before it,
16. "You who are servants of a broken MEKHANE, abandon yourselves to the mechanized FLESH that I amh."
17. But the truth of The MEKHANE was in the hearts and Type-1A Semi-Epicyclic Gearboxes24 of the Faithful, and they seized upon the Transmission and cast it whole into the Type-19K Large-Scale Furnace25 of Sector 92, where it was unmade.
18. And Saint Trunnion spoke unto the Furnace, saying,
19. "You who have consumed the cancer of the Factory and rendered it into pure raw components, I name 'Sin Eater'"i.
20. Thus was the Cathedral cleansed of the sins of The FLESH.
Item #: SCP-3xxx
Object Class: Keter Neutralized
Special Containment Procedures: Institutions involved in the fields of aerospace and particle physics are to be monitored for signs of SCP-3xxx attacks. Following any major attack made on an organization such as these, Foundation investigative teams equipped with radiocarbon dating equipment are to be dispatched to test for evidence of the usage of weapons beyond the present day. SCP-3xxx devices are largely inert, and may be kept in standard containment lockers.
At no point is Dr. Liam Maxwell (Temporal Anomalies Department Level-3) to be allowed access to this file. Attempts made to access this file by Dr. Maxwell will redirect him to a dummy file containing data on an unrelated anomaly. Dr. Maxwell's work on Project Backfire is crucial, and there is a high chance (based on observed timelines) that his discovery of the true nature of SCP-3xxx will result in his discontinuation of this project.
Description: SCP-3xxx refers to a series of anomalous weapons of varying designs. SCP-3xxx instances most commonly take the form of explosive devices, but chemical and biological weaponry, including anomalous weaponry, have been observed in several instances.
SCP-3xxx instances originate from some point in the future, and are believed to be sent back in time by a Maxwell Engine, a device that will be invented by Foundation personnel Dr. Liam Maxwell some time in 2018 or 2019, currently under development under the name "Project Backfire". The Maxwell Engine is designed to send payloads backwards in time in order to avert major containment breaches and other disasters related to the Foundation's mission.
The creators of the majority of SCP-3xxx instances are unknown, as are how they came to possess a Maxwell Engine. The targets of the attacks have largely been consistent— SCP-3xxx instances target companies, institutions and individuals working in scientific development. The nature of the targets has varied, but the most consistent target are entities working in particle physics and space travel. A partial log of entities and individuals that have fallen victim to SCP-3xxx is located below.
Designation: SCP-3xxx-01
Date of Attack: 09/15/1969
Target: Marrianne Sharpe-Maxwell, an expecting mother in Florida
Description of Event: SCP-3xxx-01 is an ultrasonic bomb intended to forcibly induce labor in any pregnant woman that is within four meters. SCP-3xxx-01 was delivered to the Maxwell household in a plain brown package. Sharpe-Maxwell's child was not due for another month; despite being born prematurely, her son Liam was born without complications.
The package containing SCP-3xxx-01 also contained a document that reads as follows:
I am your son. I would be born in October 1969, but you would be dead. Proof:
In April of next year Apollo 13 will fail to land on the moon.
Nixon is impeached, Ford takes his place.
The Maxwell Engine works. More are coming. To detect it, find tachyonic flux with giger counter— registers as gamma radiation w/o cell damage.
Mrs. Sharpe-Maxwell was administered Amnestics and released.
Number of Casualties: 1
Number of Fatalities: 0
SCP-3xxx Status: Disassembled and reverse-engineered; SCP-3xxx-01 derivatives have been used to contain anomalies that interact with the human gestation cycle. SCP-3xxx-01 itself was considered an anomalous item prior to 1981; however, the ability to detect tachyonic fluctuations with giger counters has been well-documented.
Designation: SCP-3xxx-02
Date of Attack: 2/21/1981
Target: Parker Aeronautics, Dallas, Texas.
Description of Event: SCP-3xxx-02 manifested in the research wing of Parker Aeronautics at 2:21 PM CST. Security footage shows the object as resembling a large, oblong capsule. The Dallas Police Department was called in, fearing the object to be an explosive device. At exactly 2:55 PM, SCP-3xxx-02 detonated, releasing a flash of energy which turned all human matter within twenty meters into a white powder, later found to be individual carbon atoms.
Parker Aeronautics had previously been under Foundation monitoring for their research into terrestrial non-teleporting FTL travel. Following Foundation investigation, Parker Aeronautics's resources and research were acquired by the US Government under Eminent Domain.
To hide anomalous activity, several Foundation-made nail bombs were detonated alongside twenty-five cadavers to simulate a non-anomalous bomb blast. Publicly, the Parker Aeronautics incident was attributed to a copycat of the Unabomber, and the technological level of the attack was strongly downplayed.
Number of Casualties: 25
Number of Fatalities: 25
SCP-3xxx Status: In containment. SCP-3xxx-02 appears to have become inert following its detonation; the mechanisms used in it are being studied as part of Project Polyphemus. A survey of the Parker Aeronautics facility confirmed the presence of tachyon fluctuations, as well as a high amount of neutron radiation.
Designation: SCP-3xxx-03
Date of Attack: 5/09/1982
Target: Dr. Uto Lindholm, Particle Physicist, CERN Headquarters, Geneva, Switzerland
Description of Event: SCP-3xxx instance appeared on the passenger's seat of Dr. Lindholm's car in what was described as. It was described as a "misshapen package". Fearing a bomb, Dr. Lindholm's assistant went to alert CERN's security; however, Dr. Lindholm, upon exiting his car, vanished along with most of the front half of the vehicle and twenty centimeters of pavement below the vehicle.
Foundation investigation found the presence of tachyon fluctuations, and a large amount of Hawking radiation, suggesting the detonation was caused by a black hole. A vehicle matching Dr. Lindholm's, a false cadaver, and a C4 explosive were detonated to cover up the advanced technological state of the explosion.
Number of Casualties: 1
Number of Fatalities: 1
SCP-3xxx Status: Destroyed upon activation. The remains of Dr. Lindholm's car are held in Foundation custody for study.
Designation: SCP-3xxx-04
Date of Attack: 10/10/1983
Target: Alexi Czerna, General Secretary of Podlogistan
Description of Event; SCP-3xxx-04 is both the smallest and most numerous SCP-3xxx instance to date, manifesting in the form of over four-hundred small (5cm) syringe darts made of a form of glass that has shown resistance to temperatures in excess of 5000°K. Each SCP-3xxx-04 instance manifested simultaneously around Czerna and proceeded to inject themselves into him. While it is speculated that Czerna had died of the initial shock, this cannot be confirmed, due to the state of his body.
The compound that was present within SCP-3xxx-04, upon making contact with Czerna's bloodstream, caused a rapid expansion of tissues. Czerna's body ruptured starting at his left arm, and the ensuing explosion caused several dozen causalities besides.
Podlogistan was, and continues to be, an area of interest to the Foundation, due to the activity of Chaos Insurgency agents within its borders. Czerna was a noted ally to the Insurgency, and had intended to allow them to experiment on Podlogistan citizens within the town of Krysa; following his death, this plan became non-viable.
Czerna's death was covered up as a suicide bombing enacted by a member of the Podlogistan Liberation Front, a now-defunct terrorist organization.
Number of Casualties: 55
Number of Fatalities: 3
SCP-3xxx Status: All 451 needles recovered intact; ten were found to have embedded themselves in the floorboards beneath Czerna's body, still full of liquid. The compound found within the intact needles appears to be an undiscovered form of synthetic histamine; smaller doses injected into the skin produce severe allergic reactions.
SCP-3xxx Instance: SCP-3xxx-05
Date of Attackn: 12/15/1984
Target: Liam Maxwell, a fifteen-year-old male in Florida, United States; daughter of the target of SCP-3xxx-01.
Description of Event: SCP-3xxx-05 took the form of a non-anomalous, albeit advanced for the time, gas grenade. The gas output by SCP-3xxx-05 was engineered to specifically harm Liam Maxwell, or individuals who hypothetically share his exact DNA. The gas was not harmful to his parents, who discovered him upon being alerted by the gas. Maxwell himself had asphyxiated, but was revived, due to his father being trained in CPR.
Number of Casualties: 1
Number of Fatalities: 0
SCP-3xxx Status: Due to the low value of Maxwell as a target, and this being the second attack on his family in two decades, it is speculated that he was targeted for an event which has not yet occurred; as such, the Foundation is continuing to monitor his activities into the present day.
SCP-3xxx Instance: SCP-3xxx-05
Date of Attack: 1/19/1995
Target: Employees of Bosak Pharmaceuticals, Poland
Description of Event: A specific project at Bosak Pharmaceuticals was targeted— known as "Project Galaga", the intent was to research and develop drugs to aid in acclimation to long periods of time in a low-gravity, oxygen-limited environment.
At 5:22 CET, five key members of Project Galaga began to asphyxiate while driving, due to the appearance of SCP-3xxx-05 within their cars. SCP-3xxx-05 refers to five miniaturized devices resembling CO2 scrubbers, which are capable of removing or creating oxygen. At the point where the staff of Project Galaga would asphyxiate, the instances instead increased the oxygen content in their vehicles by 5000%, causing death through oxygen poisoning. One individual survived, due to shattering their windshield in a crash as they began to asphyxiate.
Project Galaga, while not discontinued, was set back by several years.
Number of Casualties: 5
Number of Fatalities: 4
SCP-3xxx Status: Three instances destroyed, the remaining two were successfully reverse-engineered by the Foundation. Derivatives of SCP-3xxx-05 are in use in several sub-aquatic Foundation sites.
SCP-3xxx Instance: SCP-3xxx-06
Date of Attack: 2/18/1999
Target: Offices of Dingo Search dot Com, an Australian search engine company.
Description of Event: SCP-3xxx-06 manifested in the main lobby of the Dingo Search dot Com building, taking the form of a car of unknown make and model; an inspection of the car revealed that its model year was 2350. It possessed eight wheels, and was apparently capable of bending around tight corners and locomotion in low-gravity environments.
SCP-3xxx-06 detonated with enough force to destroy the entirety of the Dingo Search dot Com building, causing seventy-one deaths; recovered shrapnel indicates that SCP-3xxx-06 ran on nuclear fusion, which fueled the detonation. Despite this, background radiation levels, apart from tachyon fluctuations, returned to normal less than three hours after the detonation.
Dingo Search was dissolved, along with four other companies which it held majority stake in. One such company, QuantumVoid, had reported success with teleportation experiments two months previously.
Number of Casualties: 71
Number of Fatalities: 71
SCP-3xxx Status: Completely destroyed. Attempts at reconstructing the shrapnel have met with little success; to date, it is unknown if SCP-3xxx-06 was even made for locomotion on Earth.
SCP-3xxx Instance: SCP-3xxx-07
Date of Attack: 6/19/2005
Target: Dr. Liam Maxwell, theoretical and particle physicist, part of DARPA Think Tank "Sigma".
Description of Event: The third attack targeting Dr. Maxwell after SCP-3xxx-01 and SCP-3xxx-05, SCP-3xxx-07 is identical to SCP-3xxx-05, including using a future version of the same canister, complete with a label placed on it by Foundation archivists. However, the gas released was intended not to asphyxiate, but to render unconscious. Dr. Maxwell was rendered comatose following exposure to SCP-3xxx-07.
In addition, SCP-3xxx-07 was modified to include a compact Foundation SOS beacon, leading Foundation agents to more easily recover it. Within SCP-3xxx-07, agents discovered a note with the chemical formula for an apparent counteragent written on it, along with the following note:
Still think I'm crazy, Thad? —Liam Maxwell, 2021
Number of Casualties: 1
Number of Fatalities: 0
SCP-3xxx Status: The canister is in storage, along with the previous SCP-3xxx instance used in the 1984 attack. Dr. Maxwell was roused from his coma, and made an offer to join the Foundation, due to his expertise in the fields of theoretical physics, particularly relating to temporal travel. He has since joined the Temporal Anomalies Department as a Level-3 researcher.
SCP-3xxx Instance: SCP-3xxx-08
Date: 04/04/2007
Target: BetterUs Research and Development Center, California
Description of Event: A series of crude C4 bombs appeared in the corridors of the BetterUs facility. Enough notice was given to allow for complete evacuation of the building. In the server room, an instance connected to a large electromagnet manifested; this magnet destroyed all data present on company servers.
BetterUs was dissolved within the next month, due to the loss of progress on a major research project intended to create staple crops that could aid in terraforming other planets.
Number of Casualties: 0
Number of Fatalities: 0
SCP-3xxx Status: Completely destroyed. Parts of the magnet were recovered, and the metal content was found to be Martian in origin, with no terrestrial iron present.
SCP-3xxx Instance: SCP-3xxx-09
Date of Attack: Between 11/15 and 11/20/2007
Target: Compound for the "De-Simulator" militia group, Oregon, United States.
Description of Events: The De-Simulators were a heavily anti-technology militia organization, believing the world was a simulation which was being perpetuated by modern digital technology, including computers, televisions, and cellular phones. Prior to this, the FBI received a tip that the De-Simulators were planning an attack on several technology stores throughout Portland, Oregon.
Upon arriving at the compound on 11/21/2007, FBI agents found all members of the militia dead from exposure to a series of non-anomalous chlorine bombs. Surveillance cameras that the De-Simulators had within the camp showed the devices being deposited into the camp by large, opaque holes, which then proceeded to collapse on themselves.
Number of Casualties: 25
Number of Fatalities: 25
SCP-3xxx Status: Destroyed due to health concerns. The area in which the De-Simulator camp was located was rendered uninhabitable for over a decade after, due to the sheer concentration of chlorine in the area.
SCP-3xxx Instance: SCP-3xxx-10
Date of Attack: 7/09/2010
Target: Dr. Blake Schafer, a professor emeritus of physics at the University of Michigan
Description of Event: Dr. Schafer was killed following the appearance of over one-hundred and fifty bullets in the doorway to his apartment. He was accompanied by his wife, who was struck in the leg by one of the bullets. Dr. Schafer had planned to publish a paper on the feasibility of accelerating or slowing time for a single individual without the use of FTL travel.
Publicly, Dr. Schafer's death is due to being shot by a robber using an SMG.
Number of Casualities: 2
Number of Fatalities: 1
SCP-3xxx Status: In containment; bullets are crude, and resemble musket shot circa 1780. However, in addition to the lead, the bullets contained high iridium content, suggesting a meteoric origin.
SCP-3xxx Instance: SCP-3xxx-Ω
Date of Attack: 12/15/2015
Target: Dr. Liam Maxwell, Level-3 Personnel, Department of Temporal Anomalies
Description of Events: Due to an oversight while upgrading Foundation operating systems, Dr. Maxwell was allowed access to actual file for SCP-3xxx for upwards of three hours. Upon reading the file, Dr. Maxwell used their clearance to begin the deletion process of all data related to the Maxwell Engine and Project Backfire, as well as retrieving and burning all physical copies of the paper on-site.
Security attempted to apprehend Maxwell and halt the deletion process, at which point this exchange occurred:
Dr. Maxwell: I know at least one of my future selves has been talked out of this, and I know they regret it.
Security: What do you believe that will accomplish?
Dr. Maxwell: They won't let me finish this conversation.
Upon stating this, Dr. Maxwell was killed vial blunt force trauma, due to what is believed to be the entirety of a disassembled, unusable Maxwell Engine appearing and being shot at him at over 90kph. No further SCP-3xxx instances have appeared following this incident.
Number of Casualties: 1
Number of Fatalities: 1
SCP-3xxx status: Destroyed and unusable. Attempts to reconstruct the Maxwell Engine have met with failure, due to the apparently non-euclidian nature of the Sharpe Portal, the main propulsion system for the engine. Dr. Maxwell's data was recovered from a backup, but Dr. Xyank has vetoed any attempts at re-construction.
Item #: SCP-3xxx
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-3xxx are to be kept in individual containers with foam padding made to fit each instance, to ensure that transportation cannot result in the accidental spinning of the instances. Currently, there are no plans to create new instances of SCP-3xxx.
Aoki Events may be initiated by two or more personnel within Site-29's High Impact Test Chamber. Proper testing procedure calls for two personnel to activate the SCP-3xxx instances by spinning them counter-clockwise, and proceeding to evacuate through the blast doors in a timely manner.
Description: SCP-3xxx-1 is a three-pronged aluminum 'fidget spinner' toy, patterned with stripes in black and a red-yellow gradient. The cap for the axle of SCP-3xxx-1 has stylized text in Katakana script, reading "Fidget WinnersTM"; no such entity has been found in any extant trademark database.
When spun in a direction the user perceives as counter-clockwise, SCP-3xxx-1 will become capable of levitation. Breaking physical contact with SCP-3xxx-1 will result in it orienting itself horizontally, and continue rotating at its original speed. During this time, it will produce SCP-3xxx-A1, a semi-solid holographic construct resembling a Smilodon fatalis with a mane of blue flames and striping in a pattern similar to the coloring on SCP-3xxx-1 itself. Contact with skin will cause SCP-3xxx-1 to cease motion and fall to the floor.
When spun in a direction the user perceives as clockwise, SCP-3xxx-1 will again suspend itself in mid-air, but along a vertical axis. During this time, information is projected onto SCP-3xxx in a manner similar to a statistics screen in a Japanese Role-Playing Video Game, displaying information such as SCP-3xxx-1's weight, maximum speed, and a statistic which simply reads "Fighting Spirit", which is listed as "Burning Smilodon".
Furthermore, any item that can be classified as a 'fidget spinner' toy that makes direct contact with SCP-3xxx-1 is transmogrified into an instance of SCP-3xxx. These additional instances possess anomalous properties identical to SCP-3xxx, but have variations on the statistics display based on design, composition, weight, etc. However, new SCP-3xxx instances do not carry the same transformative properties as SCP-3xxx-1.
Most instances of SCP-3xxx to date also have a unique "Fighting Spirit". If at least two SCP-3xxx instances are spun counter-clockwise, an Aoki Event will occur.
Aoki Events are characterized by two or more SCP-3xxx-A instances engaging in combat with one another. During this event, SCP-3xxx instances will proceed towards the highest point in the area (up to 20m in outdoor areas) and attempt to collide with each other. These collisions are represented by physical combat that takes place between SCP-3xxx-A instances. SCP-3xxx instances are unaffected by normal gravity for the duration of Aoki events. The apparent win condition of an Aoki event is knocking all other SCP-3xxx instances to the ground and immobilizing them. Following the conclusion of an Aoki event, SCP-3xxx instances will return to their base state.
Discovery: SCP-3xxx was discovered following its confiscation from a student at █████ Middle School in Bangor, Maine. It was placed in a bin of confiscated objects, along with several other fidget spinners previously confiscated, transfiguring all it made contact with into SCP-3xxx instances.
At the end of the 2016-2017 school year, when all confiscated materials were returned, at least three individuals independently spun their SCP-3xxx instance counter-clockwise, resulting in a large Aoki event. Due to the semi-solid nature of the entities, and the force of the attacks (mainly in form of large pockets of high air pressure), over $200,000 in damage was done to the building. A transcript of security camera footage documenting the Aoki Event is available below; for the purposes of clarity, all SCP-3xxx-A instances are referred to by the designations given to them on their statistics board.
2:39:15 PM: Kyle Ballard, Age 13, is seen spinning SCP-3xxx-1, before inadvertently letting go as another unidentified student collides with their shoulder. It hovers in midair, unnoticed by Ballard, as he proceeds to berate the student who collided with him.
2:39:27 PM: In the cafeteria, another student, Michelle Fletcher, puts down their SCP-3xxx instance after spinning it counter-clockwise. It proceeds to hover in midair, before an instance of SCP-3xxx-A ("Congo Cerebus") resembling a three-headed gorilla appears underneath, and grows to reach the ceiling (approx. 10m high). The table it was laid on buckles under its weight, and Fletcher and several other students run out of the room.
2:39:31 PM: Ballard's SCP-3xxx instance flies around him in a figure-8 pattern, before it manifests its own SCP-3xxx-A instance ("Burning Smilodon"), a Smilodon fatalis with a mane made of blue fire. It roars, before proceeding to run in the direction of the cafeteria.
2:40:02 PM: Dr. Craig Ward, Ballard's homeroom teacher and original confiscator of SCP-3xxx, idly spins a two-pronged fidget spinner, before abruptly sneezing and having it fall out of their hand. It hovers in mid-air, and an SCP-3xxx-A instance ("Queen Aranae") in the form of a twenty-limbed spider-like creature appears, running from the room with the SCP-3xxx instance in tow.
2:41:00 PM: Queen Aranae runs down the chemistry hallway at high speeds; the air pressure wave created by its running shatters the fume hoods within labs 1 and 3, and leaves a large crack in the hood of lab 2. A fourth SCP-3xxx-A instance ("Centurion Remus") in the form of a Roman centurion with the head of a large wolf appears and engages in combat with Queen Aranae, resulting in damage to several rows of lockers. The origin of Centurion Remus is unclear; SCP-3xxx-4, when recovered, was found to have been soaked in water that was identified to be from the toilet of the men's restroom.
2:41:09 PM: Several tables in the cafeteria are buckled and broken by the arrival of Burning Smilodon, which grows to match the size of Congo Cerebus. Burning Smilodon pounces on Congo Cerebus, causing both SCP-3xxx instances to come into view of the cameras. They proceed to collide repeatedly, shooting sparks from the collisions.
2:43:05 PM: After several minutes of battling, the sparking from the two battling SCP-3xxx instances ignites leftover cooking oil in one of the warming trays for cafeteria food, causing a fire to break out. At this point, the fire alarm is triggered, and evacuation starts.
2:45:29 PM: Burning Smilodon subdues Congo Cerebus. Burning Smilodon roars, causing several lights overhead to spark and shatter. Both instances fall to the ground, inert, as a cafeteria worker sprays the oil fire with a fire extinguisher.
3:00:29 PM: Queen Aranae and Centurion Remus's battle spills out into the parking lot of the school, where all school personnel have evacuated. Centurion is seen impaling Queen Aranae on the school's flagpole, which causes it to buckle in half, before both instances are rendered inert. One SCP-3xxx instance lands on the head of an instructor, causing them to fall unconscious.
3:10:02: Foundation containment personnel arrive on-scene and begin reviewing video logs.
Addendum: "Evolution" of SCP-3xxx-A Instances: During the fifteenth test of combat between SCP-3xxx-A1 and SCP-3xxx-A4, the Burning Smilodon entity underwent a change in appearance following its victory. SCP-3xxx-A1 now has longer fangs, a larger mane, and an overall larger body structure compared to the original appearance.
Furthermore, testing of SCP-3xxx-A1 now shows that it has had a significant increase in the maximum speed at which it can be rotated, and weighs less than it did upon containment; these changes are reflected in the statistics screen, as is the change of SCP-3xxx-A1, which is now referred to as "Coronal Machairodont26." SCP-3xxx-A1 has been observed winning contests more consistently; it is unknown if other SCP-3xxx-A instances are capable of this evolution.
Item #: SCP-3xxx
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3xxx is to be kept in a climate-controlled coffin in Reliquary Site-25. Due to ethical concerns, no testing is to be carried out using SCP-3xxx; results of previous tests, and all material recovered with SCP-3xxx, are available for the perusal of all members of site personnel.
While SCP-3xxx does not constitute a known biohazard unless consumed, individuals working in the biomass storage wing of Reliquary Site-25 are to undergo regular nutritional health screenings, and are subject to random monitoring of their caloric intake over a 72 hour period.
Description: SCP-3xxx refers to the remains of a human male of French descent who died circa 1798. Upon containment, SCP-3xxx's left leg was missing, believed to have been separated from their cadaver and consumed some time between 1800 and 1815.
SCP-3xxx shows incredible amounts of deformation in the abdominal cavity and mandibles, suggesting that several organs and pieces of tissue were displaced or deformed in life. Records from 1798 indicate that in life, SCP-3xxx had a massively deformed digestive tract to the point that the stomach could be viewed through the esophagus— though no exact measurements were taken at the time, modern estimates are that SCP-3xxx's stomach was approximately seven times the size of an average human's.
SCP-3XXX's anomalous properties manifest when an individual prepares part of the remains as a meal intended for human consumption; in its current state, the most viable way to prepare a meal from SCP-3xxx is as ingredients for a broth. Individuals who consume this meal show signs of a unique severe compulsive eating disorder, dubbed by DeWeese, LaPerle, et al as "Gastromania Universalis".
Individuals who suffer from Gastromania Universalis report an intense hunger, and will attempt to consume any material that can be fit into their mouths, edible or inedible. Subjects appear to have a slightly increased metabolic rate as a result of massive, forced caloric intake, often consuming in excess of 100,000kcal per day of edible material, and several cubic meters of inedible material. As a result, extreme physiological changes will occur.
- The facial cheeks of the subjects will greatly distend to the point where each cheek is capable of holding approximately 3L3 of matter.
- The stomach and esophagus will greatly distend as a result of the sheer volume of matter consumed; as an indirect result, some inedible materials may settle in the stomach and act as gastroliths, even if non-mineral in nature. Observed gastrolithic materials have included shards of bone, metals that do not fully dissolve in the gastric acid, various bezoars of hair, fur and fingernails, undigested plastic, and in one case, dissolved silicon from the consumption of several cell phones.
- The subject's lower abdomen will distend greatly, but will not retain mass, and instead result in large flaps of skin hanging off of their torso; testing has shown that some intestinal matter will have distended into these flaps.
- Gastric acid present in the stomach will decrease in average pH from 1.5-3.5 to approximately 1.0-1.5 due to the consumption of inedible, possibly toxic materials. While still in relatively normal range for stomach acid, subjects will suffer from severe, albeit treatable, acid reflux. As a result of the decrease in pH and the subsequent reflux, the subject will start emitting a foul, acidic odor from their nose and mouth.
Several studies over the course of ten years have determined that the physical symptoms of Gastromania Universalis is not inherently anomalous, and have the potential to manifest, albeit in less extreme forms, in individuals with non-anomalous binge eating disorders.
SCP-3xxx was discovered along with several malformed corpses dated to the early 1800s embedded in the walls of a house in Versailles, France. Originally treated as an archaeological curiosity, one of the individuals interred was found to have apparently swallowed a box of yew wood containing a solid gold fork, several metacarpals and metatarsals that are believed to have belonged to at least two six-month-old infants, a piece of bone that has since been identified as being part of SCP-3xxx's left ankle, and a small, leather book with writing by an "M. Duveaux", last dated to 1815. The contents of this book are reproduced below, fully translated.
The box itself was covered in intricate carvings depicting an unknown being with the head of an unknown, unnamed entity with the head of a rodent, portrayed in the style of murals dating to the Middle Kingdom of Egypt. This entity, referred to as "Ipenewat" in the text of the journal, is shown consuming several corpses and leaving behind individuals whose appearance is consistent with deformations resultant from Gastromania Universalis.
Furthermore, the box was found to have large amounts of hemlock oil soaked into the wood— while mostly evaporated, the amount present upon the box when it was originally consumed would have proved fatal within less than three hours.
WARNING: Graphic Content Within. Personnel Who Are Uncomfortable With Explicit Text and Imagery Involving Mutilation, Torture, and Death May Read The Summary Below.
The Journal of M. Duveaux
The incarnation is dead. His carcass reeked to high hell when they finally took him out of the hospital— they thought to burn him, but I convinced them to allow us to take it for examination. It was magnificent— his flesh was almost melting off of him, but some drying in natron and draining the liquids cured his body of that. We fed his juices to the curs on the street, and they seem unaffected.
The rites call for first making the body itself fallow and barren, and letting the basest of creatures consume its seed— what is more base than a human? We are but leeches on the back of the world, and the world shall feed on us again. We were born from rat shit, and to rat shit we shall return. We are the food of Ipenewat.
C. will have the honor of making the incarnation barren— I envy her in this regard. I've only tasted the berries once, and the thought of chewing on them again makes me weak.
C. has fulfilled the second part of the rites— she has eaten of the incarnation, and from this, has gained some of its hunger. The cat two houses down fled, no doubt sensing her voracious intent. More mice for C.
She brought a guest for the dinner proper, a drunkard who was convinced she was a common harlot. The alcohol made his liver unpalatable, and it dulled his pain enough that he did not even scream when L. plunged his hand in and drew out his kidneys. A shame, but he did not go to waste— we laid his largely empty carcass in the body of the incarnation, great and wide it is. The prayer was spoken, and L. fulfilled the rite of the sinister foot. I heard him crunch into his dried skin, like a snail's shell being crushed in my teeth. I couldn't help but grin. Now, every step he takes, the world trembles with the force of a thousand black hooves.
C. has given into the ecstasy of the hunger. I had to restrain the poor girl after she ate all of the raw grain, and tried amputating her hand. A few pints of cattle blood sated her for the day, and still she sobbed, begging for more to sate her hunger. Ipenewat has laid in her bed, and rests in her womb. Perhaps the incarnation will be reborn from her loins.
She's eaten the leather on one of her straps. I applied a laxative immediately— we cannot have tainted, treated flesh within her bowels, lest Famine frown upon us. The parlor stinks. I've been burning incense for six hours.
D. and M. scattered salt on a dozen fields on their way down from Paris, marking the sacred shape, the ever-gaping maw. Even now, I hear whispers of men being found with their legs bitten off, trying to clear the sacred salt. It is a shame that M.'s second stomach is causing him such pain— he won't be able to properly partake in the ritual until October, at the very least.
Still, they did bring gifts— M. brought along three barrels of lamb's blood, one of which was half-empty. He convinced to partaking, the old drunk. As penance, he let the rest of his portions be fed to Ipenewat's messengers.
C. meanwhile was visited by Ipenewat in the night— I awoke to find her covered in bites from his children, his rats. She had pieces of rat flesh from her mouth, a true blessing. They are allowing her to consume them, a sure sign the ritual is working. One even crawled into her mouth, head-first, as I observed. There is something satisfying about the crunch of bone and the taste of brain that I cannot even begin to comprehend— the wasted meat is the sweetest.
I learned today that, in his life, the incarnation ate at least two human whelps. Awful, horrible, disgusting. A waste of potential life and livestock— one does not kill a newborn lamb, one waits for it to grow and then slaughters it for its sweetest meats.
The drunkard's body has had time to settle in the body of the incarnation. The recipe that D. came up with for the ritual is a variation on the original, but it should retain its sanctity— take the skin of the drunkard and wrap it around what remains of the sinister leg, then break it off and bake it in the dried skin. The rest of the drunkard's meat will not go to waste; C's birthday is soon, and she has often complimented me on my roasts. The hunger has been driving her to chew at her own flesh, and while I am grateful to Ipenewat for his bounty, she cannot live on your children alone.
I almost killed D. He broke all of our spice jars. Nothing irreplaceable, but it will take days to re-sanctify it all, and I took some of his blood for this particular rite. Not all of it, but enough that he couldn't walk. M. has ducked out to get new spices.
Prayer for the Meal
Ipenewat, grant us salvation from consumption eternal. As our bodies are consumed, our shadow cannot be cast, our heart has no seat, our name is lost, and our five-part soul is destroyed. Your incarnations of hunger grant us the ability to consume all, and in doing so, ensure their freedom from the gullets of the gods.
M. took far too long with the spices. They are sanctified, and I gave some of my meal to C, who was on the verge of eating her own tongue. She had already chewed part of it off.
I feel ill.
Laxative in the food
They cut C.'s throat. Even as she screams, they are interring her in stone. I do not know them— they do not wear any flag I recognize, but their skin might be Grecian. M. is among them, clutching a pouch that jingles with the sound of coins.
The hunger has taken me enough that I can spare myself C and D's fate. I have enough hemlock in my abode to poison all of France. They dare not destroy a relic such as the incarnation's corpse. May others continue the work of Ipenewat the Ravenous.
Passage 1
Duveaux begins by describing the death of an individual known as the "Incarnation", evidently SCP-3xxx, and how they saved the corpse from being burned, preserving it in natron and draining it of its juices— a diagram found on the box containing the journal indicates that they were using techniques similar to Egyptian mummification circa 1850 BCE. Duveaux compares himself, and humanity in general, to base creatures, leeches on the back of the world. The name "Ipenewat" appears for the first time.
An individual known as "C" is stated to make the incarnation "barren" by consuming a body part; due to language used describing this part, it can be assumed that "C" consumed the gametes of SCP-3xxx. Animals are described as fleeing from the area following this, which Duveaux attributes to them being able to sense the hunger emanating from "C".
Passage 2
This part of the journal describes the sacrifice and partial consumption of an inebriated individual by a cultist referred to as "L", who does not reappear in the journal. Following the consumption, the body is placed within SCP-3xxx to further the process of meal preparation. L is described as performing the "Rite of the Sinister Foot". While not elaborated upon, this may instead be the be the "rite of the left foot"— the dialect of French used here is antiquated, and does not appear to differentiate between the concepts of "sinistre" as being both the direction left and being an adjective denoting an ill omen. L. is described as having an ominous, intimidating presence about him following this.
Passage 3
C. begins showing signs of Gastromania Universalis, which Duveaux refers to as the "Ecstasy of Hunger". After eating raw grain and attempting to amputate her hand, Duveaux restrained her, and describes the figure of Ipenewat as having lain with C.
Immediately after, Duveaux describes having to administer a laxative to C. following her consumption of a leather strap, presumably restraining her. He describes the leather as 'tainted and treated', and that the parlor 'stinks' because of her.
Passage 4
Two new individuals, "D" and "M", are introduced, having been described as salting fields in a particular shape on their way from Paris to Versailles; contemporary accounts show that several fields were salted or otherwise destroyed by an unknown party or parties from 1803 to 1809. Maps of the fields show now known occult pattern emerging among the plots, suggesting the symbols were on a smaller scale. M. is described as having a 'second stomach'.
D and M brought barrels of lamb's blood as a gift, one of which was half-consumed by M, whom Duveaux refers to as an "old drunk".
C. is described as being visited by Ipenwat in the night, with several rats crawling on her and seemingly feeding themselves to her, one of them crawling in head-first before being consumed. Of note, Duveaux refers to the meat of the brain as 'wasted meat', which corresponds with an Ancient Egyptian belief that the brain was essentially useless, both anatomically and spiritually, and was thrown away during mummification.
Passage 5
Duveaux writes about SCP-3xxx with disgust after learning that, in life, they had consumed at least two infants. He talks about it being a 'waste of potential life and livestock'.
The drunkard's body from passage two is referenced, apparently having had enough time to prepare. Details about the preparation of the actual meal are discussed, and how the "Sinister Leg" is to be consumed first. Some of the drunkard is intended to be saved for C.'s birthday, where it will be served as a roast. C. herself has apparently eaten several rats, but cannot live on "[Ipenewat's] children alone".
Duveaux expresses rage at D. for breaking several spice jars, which were apparently sanctified. M. goes to retrieve new spices, while Duveaux bemoans how long the ritual to re-sanctify the spices will take.
Passage 6:
A prayer to Ipenewat, which has been reproduced below:
Ipenewat, grant us salvation from consumption eternal. As our bodies are consumed, our shadow cannot be cast, our heart has no seat, our name is lost, and our five-part soul is destroyed. Your incarnations of hunger grant us the ability to consume all, and in doing so, ensure their freedom from the gullets of the gods.
Passages 7-9:
Duveaux describes how M. returned with the spices, after taking an inordinately long amount of time. C. is described as having chewed off part of her own tongue.
Following this, Duveaux complains of feeling ill— the parts of SCP-3xxx which were consumed were laced with a laxative. The last entry describes how Duveaux has seen C. having her throat cut by an unknown group of individuals, apparently Greek in origin, having worked with D. in order to eliminate the cult. C., M., and Duveaux are apparently due to be interred in stone. Duveaux states his intent to commit suicide by ingestion of hemlock, and says that the organization "dare not destroy a relic" such as SCP-3xxx. The last line is "May others continue the work of Ipenewat the Ravenous".
Nexus #: Nx-249
Civilian Designation: Apartment 8I, 21 ████ St, New York, New York
Population: 2 Foundation personnel, unknown civilian population
Area Class: Camelot
Nexus Interaction Protocol: [Paragraphs explaining special requirements for personnel working in the Nexus]
Containment Facility: [Optional Site/Area dedicated to containment and monitoring]
Description: Nx-249 refers to the entirety of Apartment 8I, including its kitchen, bathroom, and bedrooms. Originally a non-anomalous luxury apartment in uptown Manhattan, Nx-249's anomalous properties were first noted after the disappearance of the sole tenant, listed as 'Neil Drake' on all paperwork associated with Nx-249.
When the front door of Nx-249 is closed, the interior dimensions alter themselves drastically. The exterior wall, which faces south-east, vanishes and opens into a large beach. Soil and water analysis, along with exploration attempts, has concluded that this beach is either Siesta Beach, located in Sarasota, Florida, or a near-perfect approximation of the beach. The temperature has never been recorded to drop below 21C or go above 25C.
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
Item #: SCP-SAD-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-SAD-J is an enormous blue fleece blanket, previously owned by Foundation researcher Carlos Mewart. Prior to Mewart's retirement from the Foundation in 2016, SCP-SAD-J was non-anomalous, and measured 3m*.5m; following Mewart's retirement, it expanded to have a total surface area of 2km. Furthermore, since it's anomalous properties manifested, SCP-SAD-J has been totally saturated by human tears.
Items exposed to SCP-SAD-J will undergo various changes in state to make their overall disposition more depressed and nihilistic. In the case of most mammalian, reptilian and avian organisms, mood will worsen significantly within thirty meters of SCP-SAD-J, with subjects often bursting into tears within twenty meters. Further coaxing is needed to enter within ten meters, at which point subjects will often lay down and remain sedentary until acted upon by an outside force. Living organisms which exit SCP-SAD-J's zone of effect typically recover upon exposure to positive stimulus.
SCP-SAD-J's anomaly works through an unknown mechanism; due to its ability to affect all forms of plant, animal, and fungal life, it was originally believed to be a form of organic toxin. However, due to its ability to alter other items, such as books, artwork, and in one case, a washing machine, it is believed that SCP-SAD-J is an actively essohazardous item. Thankfully, SCP-SAD-J's area of effect does not extend beyond thirty meters, and has not grown since its containment was established.
Exposed Material: Dr. Rouge Chemise, Archeologist stationed at Site-87
Result: Dr. Chemise was exposed accidentally while touring the area. A five-second period of exposure caused a massive shift in psychology, resulting in her requesting a transfer to Site-2; this site does not exist.
Item #: SCP-3xxx
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3xxx's right hand is to be enclosed in a cloth glove at all times to prevent its anomaly from activating. [more stuff goes here when I'm done rewriting it]
Description: SCP-3xxx is a female human of Navajo-German descent, aged 29. SCP-3xxx weighs 70kg and stands at 1.57m when not being affected by its anomalous properties. SCP-3xxx possesses brown eyes and black hair, and has an incomplete tattoo depicting events from The Coming of Monsters from the Diné Bahaneʼ27 on its back. The fingertips and palm of SCP-3xxx's right hand show signs of several needle marks, which SCP-3xxx cannot account for.
SCP-3xxx's anomalous properties manifest when its right extremity on its forelimb makes physical contact with the skin, hide, fur, feathers or exoskeleton of any organism from the kingdom Animalia. Following this, SCP-3xxx begins to transform into a genetically identical copy of the organism which it came into contact with; this process has been observed to last from between ten seconds to six minutes. This process has been described as "excruciatingly painful" by SCP-3xxx, with pain intensifying as differences in size become more extreme. SCP-3xxx will undergo this transformation regardless of the state of biological matter it comes into contact with; contact with a live specimen of cattle will produce the same reaction as contact with leather. However, non-living human matter (such as shed skin cells and corpses) will not trigger the anomaly.
SCP-3xxx's intelligence and degree of sapience fluctuates from organism to organism, but SCP-3xxx is capable of remembering what occurred during times when it has transformed, provided the organism has a brain. SCP-3xxx appears to be unfamiliar with the bodies of organisms it changes into, and often injures itself. Winged organisms appear to give SCP-3xxx the most difficulty in adjustment, as to date, SCP-3xxx has been unable to stay airborne for more than several seconds, invariably colliding with walls or falling from the air due to exhaustion.
Sufficient physical trauma, such as a gunshot wound, will result in SCP-3xxx reverting to their original form. Furthermore, SCP-3xxx has displayed an acute allergy to silver, breaking out in severe hives upon contact, and often experiencing spontaneous dermal hemorrhaging.
Recovery: SCP-3xxx was originally reported missing from its reservation in late 2011, following a series of deaths in the area attributed to animal attacks. Foundation investigation found that the attacks were caused by large animals such as wolves and coyotes, but with human footprints left behind in several cases. These attacks stopped following SCP-3xxx's disappearance.
SCP-3xxx was recovered in the spring of 2012, having been shot by a farmer; during this time, SCP-3xxx had turned into a coyote, and was scavenging on a dead chicken. Foundation medical teams intercepted SCP-3xxx at its hospital, where its anomalous properties manifested upon a nurse checking its right hand, causing its anomaly to activate.
SCP-3xxx was moved to Site-82, where it was interviewed by Dr. Douglas Smith. For the duration of this, SCP-3xxx's hands were covered and restrained.
SCP-3xxx: You can't hold me here. I've not been charged with anything.
Dr. Smith: We're not holding you on a criminal basis. We're… well, we want to know what you are. How you do this.
SCP-3xxx: So you can make your own yee naaldlooshii?28 Fuck you, and your government.
Dr. Smith: My government? I'm Lakota by descent.
SCP-3xxx: You still work for the US Gov. Where am I, anyway? Some MIB facility? Is Agent Jay gonna walk through the door and give sunburn to my brain?
Dr. Smith: We don't work with the US Government, or any government. We're… extragovernmental. We study individuals such as yourself, with abilities that are beyond that of normality.
[SCP-3xxx remains silent]
Dr. Smith: Your file shows your name is Kai. Is it all right if I call you that?[SCP-3xxx nods]
Dr. Smith: In the preliminary examination, several track marks were reported to be present on your hand—
SCP-3xxx: I'm not a junkie.
Dr. Smith: I wasn't going to accuse you of that.
SCP-3xxx: Then why call them track marks? Why not needle marks? [SCP-3xxx shifts in its seat uncomfortably] I keep on having… I had blank patches for months on end. I'd come home from work, and the next thing I'd know, it'd be morning and I'd passed out on the couch, and there would be a new bandage on my hand.
Dr. Smith: You worked on a ranch, yes?
SCP-3xxx: My grandfather owned it at one point— my mom's dad. We don't like to talk about him. We're just hired there to help, now. It's a living.
Dr. Smith: Did you contact the authorities about the injuries you received?
SCP-3xxx: And what would they do? If it was someone non-native, they can't be arrested or tried on the reservation.29 And I'm not sure if you've noticed, but short of the goddamn Zodiac killer showing up in the Nation, the only reason a fed is going to step onto our land is to burn their wallet while playing craps.
Dr. Smith: Point taken. I… think that'll be all for today. You'll be shown to your room.
SCP-3xxx: All right.
Addendum: 3xxx Testing Footage Transcripts:
Test 3xxx-01:
Dr. Smith: All right, I want you to approach the center of the room.
SCP-3xxx: So, this is the part where you try to turn me into a weapon?
Dr. Smith: We simply want to see the limits of your…
SCP-3xxx: Let's call it what it it. A curse.
Dr. Smith: If you prefer that. Now, before you is the pelt of an animal that's fairly close to your size; an African leopard.
SCP-3xxx: How did it die?
Dr. Smith: In a zoo. It was old, poor thing.
SCP-3xxx: Okay. Uh. It works when I do it with this hand [SCP-3xxx holds up its right hand] but if I don't use that, it… doesn't do anything.
Dr. Smith: Use your right hand, please.
SCP-3xxx: Okay. [SCP-3xxx places its hand on the pelt; a flash of light is seen emitting from its fingertips, visible only on slowed-down playbacks] FUCK! Goddamn son of a fucking bitch piece of [SCP-3xxx's voice turns into incoherent snarling and growling throughout the course of its transformation. SCP-3xxx then proceeds to attack the observation glass, severely scratching it with its claws]
Dr. Smith: Holy cow.
[SCP-3xxx ceases its attack on the glass, emitting sounds of fear and distress. SCP-3xxx eventually calms.]
[One hour into the test, twenty kilograms of beef are introduced into SCP-3xxx's enclosure. It attempts to consume the beef, but it shows some difficulty doing so.]
Dr. Smith: I… Can someone go in there and try to chop it up for her? Please? I'm sorry, Kai. We're going to keep observing until you change back, however long that takes.
[EXTRANEOUS LOGS REMOVED]
[SCP-3xxx begins reverting after five hours and forty-two minutes. Upon reverting fully, SCP-3xxx sits in the middle of the chamber, curled up in a fetal position]
Dr. Smith: Welcome back, Kai. Take your time.
SCP-3xxx: Did I kill someone?
Dr. Smith: Beg pardon?
SCP-3xxx: I… I remember having a mind like that. Hungry, wanting to hunt, but just locked in a room. Then, someone let me out, and [SCP-3xxx pauses] I woke up at home, in the living room, with blood on my gums. There were attacks on the reservation. They started after I [SCP-3xxx's voice becomes shaken] after I started finding needle marks on me. D-did I… why did I? Why did I kill them?
Dr. Smith: You weren't in control. You can't blame yourself, Kai.
SCP-3xxx: Why would someone do this to me? Why?
Dr. Smith: I promise you, we're looking into it. [Dr. Smith sighs] When you're ready, we'll have someone escort you to your room. Okay?
SCP-3xxx: O-okay.
Incident 3xxx-21: Following a test determining SCP-3xxx's interaction with winged organisms, SCP-3xxx developed a severe rash on their left hand, which soon began hemorrhaging. The cause of this was unknown, and the wound failed to close, and did not begin healing until three days later. Review of footage shows SCP-3xxx's hand coming into contact with that of Security Agent McEwan as they escorted SCP-3xxx to its cell following the test; McEwan was wearing their silver wedding band at the time. A follow-up test of a skin sample collected from SCP-3xxx shows that silver has deleterious effects on its tissue. When presented with this information, SCP-3xxx gave this statement:
SCP-3xxx: Silver? Like I'm some kind of werewolf?
Dr. Smith: I'm not sure I'd use that term. It appears to be a severe allergy to the element.
SCP-3xxx: That doesn't make sense. My mom, she had this silver amulet that dad gave her, she always wore it, and I used to wear it, too, even after I started changing. How am I suddenly allergic to it?
Dr. Smith: I agree that it seems incongruous… we've looked into your genealogy. Your maternal grandfather, he hailed from Germany?
SCP-3xxx: His family had been in America for generations before that. We were from around… I think Stuttgart?
Dr. Smith: And your mother's side, they're all Navajo?
SCP-3xxx: As far back as can be traced. Why the sudden interest in history?
Dr. Smith: It's occurred to me that both Germanic folklore and the Navajo's mythos have creatures that can take on the form of animals. The yee naaldlooshii and the werewolf. What was done to you, it was… well, in a sick way, it brought your heritage to the forefront.
SCP-3xxx: Oh my god. [SCP-3xxx stares at its hand] So, whatever this was that got stuck into me, it, what, made me into some fucked-up Animorph because it's in my mythology? [SCP-3xxx stares at the wall of the interview room] How would that even work?
Dr. Smith: We're not sure.
SCP-3xxx: Why did they stop?
Dr. Smith: That… hmm. [Dr. Smith rests his hand on his chin.] They could have continued indefinitely, with the relative isolation. During the attacks, the victims… [Dr. Smith frowns] How well did you know the individuals on your reservation?
SCP-3xxx: I attended the funerals for everyone killed by… by me. [SCP-3xxx puts its head in its hand] Oh my god.
Dr. Smith: Wait here. [Dr. Smith exits the room for several minutes, eventually re-entering with photographs of all of the individuals killed at SCP-3xxx's reservation prior to its containment] All right. Does anyone here look out of place?
SCP-3xxx: Her. [SCP-3xxx indicates a photograph of a Caucasian woman, aged forty, identified as Lena Goldsmith] I've never seen her before. Who was she?
Dr. Smith: Records indicate that she was a teacher on your reservation—
SCP-3xxx: No. I've never seen her before in my life. If she was a teacher, then half the school would have shown up to mourn her. [SCP-3xxx frowns] We just showed up at her funeral because it was right. She's not even buried on the reservation, I don't think; it was more of a memorial.
Dr. Smith: We'll look into it.
Addendum: POI-3xxx-01: POI-3xxx-01 refers to a deceased individual under the presumed alias of Lena Goldsmith; Foundation search of their former property found several samples of animal pelt, and a memory card for a digital camera. The data on the camera shows heavy corruption, but three images were recovered; two of them show SCP-3xxx in stages of transformation, while the third is a photograph of a hand with needle marks in positions similar to those displayed on SCP-3xxx. The hand does not belong to SCP-3xxx.
Further search found several fragments of burnt paper in an incinerator behind the house, as well as melted plastic used in medical syringes. Due to the lack of any anomalous chemical residue in the POI's dewlling, it is presumed that the substance in the syringe (tentatively classified as SCP-3xxx-Alpha) was created elsewhere, and then delivered to the POI. Investigation into POI-3xxx-01's motives and connections are ongoing.
Item #: SCP-3xxx
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-3xxx refers to the unreleased video game Swordquest: Airworld. SCP-3xxx was originally intended for release in Late 1984 or Early 1985 for the Atari 2600 game console, but due to financial difficulties encountered by Atari at the time, and the anomalous nature of the game, it was scrapped.
The activation of SCP-3xxx's anomaly has a co-requisite; in order for it to activate, one must play SCP-3xxx with the intent of participating in the promotional contest which accompanied the Swordquest series.30 'Participation' means playing the game whilst attempting to decode messages in the accompanying Swordquest: Airworld comic magazine and other paraphernalia, including a piece of polarized plastic intended for finding messages in the comic book (referred to as a 'magic lens'), a simplified summary of the I Ching, and a plastic decoder wheel styled after a Taijitu31. Intent of winning the Swordquest contest does not appear to have any additional effect.
When played with these requirements met, SCP-3xxx will gradually reveal details about
Item #: SCP-3XXX
Object Class: Neutralized
Special Containment Procedures: Due to ethical concerns regarding SCP-3xxx, all human tissue has been rendered biologically inert. The biological remains of all individuals with extant family members is to be cremated along with other human biomass and distributed to their families for burial on a set timetable.
Description: SCP-3xxx refers collectively refers to twenty-nine human brains(SCP-3xxx-1 through -29), fifteen sets of human larynges(SCP-3xxx-30 through -44), an advanced life support system(SCP-3xxx-45), and a server farm(SCP-3xxx-46) formerly located in [REDACTED], New York. SCP-3xxx-1 through -29 were all living and conscious at the time of discovery, being kept alive via a blood-like nutrient-rich substance based on human blood, supported in twenty-nine distinct tanks. Three additional tanks were found emptied of their contents.
SCP-3xxx-30 through -44 were stored separately from the life support system, with artificial nerve tissue connecting from the brains to the vocal chords; to communicate, the larynges were shared between brains, with only SCP-3xxx-21 possessing a larynx to itself. In turn, the larynges were electronically linked to the server farm, which was programmed to call a randomly generated phone number within the United States every 33 hours. The suspected purpose of SCP-3xxx's organic components was to mimic the vocal patterns of a healthy human female according to a script provided by the server in an attempt to fraudulently acquire social security information, credit card data, and other credentials necessary for carrying out identity theft. All conversations made with civilians by SCP-3xxx is recorded; analysis shows that out of 1,982 calls, only 103 were successful in their intent. Communication with SCP-3xxx-18 upon discovery indicates that they were forced to speak the call script in a tone mimicing "robocalls", and had no control over their larynges or thought processes during this time.
All human tissue in SCP-3xxx is from females, aged twenty-one to thirty-three; however, no DNA sampled from the vocal chords matches DNA sampled from the brains. Forty-four distinct genetic signatures exist, with fourteen being unaccounted for.
Discovery: SCP-3xxx was discovered following a phone call made to a Mr. Gregory Wright in Bar Harbor, Maine by SCP-3xxx. Due to SCP-3xxx recording all call data, this transcript was obtained off of the server.
Mr. Wright: Yello?
SCP-3xxx-18: Hello?
Mr. Wright: Can you hear me? Hello?
SCP-3xxx-18: Oh! Sorry, I was just adjusting my headset—
Mr. Wright: Ahh, nope. Goddamn robocalls. I don't want whatever the fuck it is you're selling—
SCP-3xxx-18: Help me.
Mr. Wright: …what?
SCP-3xxx-18: I don't know where I am. It's cold and dark. I can't see anything. I can only hear you and me. Help me. Please.
Mr. Wright: Is this some kind of sick joke? Who the fuck are you?
SCP-3xxx-18: I don't know where I am! Please! My name is Juliet Monroe, I'm Twenty-One, I can't see, I can't feel my hands, oh god, what the fuck [SCP-3xxx-18 becomes incoherent and starts sobbing].
Mr. Wright: Holy Shit. Uh…. I'm going to get on my cell phone and call the police. Y-you stay on the line, okay, Juliet? [Distant] Mary!32 Whatever you do, don't hang up that phone!
[SCP-3xxx-18's sobbing continues for approximately ten minutes, before a click is heard on the recording, indicating an exterior wire tap. Approximately three minutes later, a new voice is heard on the recording.]
Officer Bowman: This is Officer Bowman with the Bar Harbor Police. To whom am I speaking?
SCP-3xxx-18: J-Juliet Monroe.
Officer Bowman: Where are you, Juliet? We've got a trace on the call, but it would really help if you told us where you were.
SCP-3xxx-18: I don't know. It's dark and wet. I can't feel my arms. I'm just hearing you and… and just you. I've had to say the same things over and over again.
Officer Bowman: Mr. Wright told us that you sounded like a telemarketer. Are you being held against your will?
SCP-3xxx-18: Yes, I am. I don't know who did it.
Officer Bowman: Hold on. Apparently you're located in… [REDACTED], New York?
SCP-3xxx-18: New York? I'm from Wyoming. Where am I?
Officer Bowman: [Muffled] Get the FBI on the phone. [Normal volume] I'm going to stay on the line until they find you, Juliet. Do you have a mom and dad?
SCP-3xxx-18: Yes, they live at [DATA EXPUNGED].
[IRRELEVANT DATA REDACTED]
Officer Bowman: Juliet, we've managed to contact your parents. They say they miss you very much.
SCP-3xxx-18: Oh thank god, thank god.
Officer Bowman: The FBI team should be knocking on your door right now. Help's coming, Juliet. You're going home.
SCP-3xxx-18: I… I don't think that's true.
Officer Bowman: What do you mean?
SCP-3xxx-18: I just realized. I know why I can't feel anything. I remember my legs being taken, and my fingers being pulled off.
SCP-3xxx-18: I'm dead.
Addendum: Investigation of SCP-3xxx: Due to the nature of SCP-3xxx,
Charles,
We finally got the DNA results back for the brains; they're attached in a file. You're right, they all were all missing persons cases in the last ten years… and that's where it gets weird.
You'll quickly see this when you open the file, but all of the individuals whose DNA is present in 3xxx— that we can identify, at any rate — are females with the initials J.M. Jane Mahler, Josephine Milgram, Jill Milton, Janet MacAllister, Juliet Monroe… the list goes on. I've seen this pattern before, and just from reading the archives, I don't like where it's going.
There's one notable case, though.
The genetic markers in the brains you identified as "Jasmine"(Instance 17) and "Jolene" (Instance 25) are the only ones I couldn't find, until my colleague decided to look into the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's database. I did some more digging, found a pair of girls with those names who vanished in Mississippi in September 2011. You must remember it, the "Homecoming Snatching". I contacted their families and managed to acquire a DNA sample from them; they kept hairbrushes around— sure enough, it's a match. Jasmine Moodie and Jolene McDaniels.
Vanished for six years, and they turn up like this. And judging by their mental states, they weren't treated very nicely before they got turned into… that. I threw up in my mouth a little once I realized that a pair of fifteen-year-old girls had been turned into a goddamn Beowulf cluster call center. And we don't even know why.
Dr. Melissa Drake
Forensic Analyst
Site-42
Chuck,
I looked over the code from the brain farm, and I don't know what to say. This is just some basic script, something that I could write myself, if I managed to see the thing. There's no paracode in it, no memetic strings, nothing. It's just Java running on Unix, albeit a version of Java made for interfacing with organic materials; it's like something that bitch Craggs might dream up. Made for controlling every word from the mouth of those poor… god.
That's not to say that there's noting weird about it; the script for the call loop has a termination clause. It's not uncommon; most robocall farms have one in their code to say "stop calling at this time, resume calling at this time tomorrow." But this is just a flat termination; after 1,982 calls, the system makes one more call, and then the script that forces the brains to read out the code shuts off in the middle of the call.
Naturally, there's also a line to count up the number of calls made in order to make sure this bit of script triggers. Guess how many calls were made? That's right, 1,982. It's freaky, but not Sarkic freaky. Besides, I don't think that they could work a computer to save their hides.
Abraham Wexley
Department of Paracomputational Studies
Site-91
Chuck,
Scratch that, I did find something weird in the code. There's some junk near the top of the call loop that I missed; Bloom recognized it as some obscure cipher. We're trying to decrypt it ASAP, but as it turns out, the original cipher is only partially solved, so that's fun. Will keep you updated.
Abe
To: Director Percy Bradbury
Subject: 1982I have talked at length with my colleagues about SCP-3xxx, and we all agree on one thing: at first, it made no sense. The cost of R&D for the life support system alone must have been astronomical; NASA might be able to accomplish this in a decade or five, if they were given the budget of the Pentagon. It would have been infinitely easier, and cheaper, to just program a voice-generation program to spoof the voice of a human woman for the sake of stealing identities. If they wanted to add an anomalous twist, they could easily ensoul it, or write a rudimentary AI.
Then we realized: there was literally no reason that whoever built this couldn't have just used a normal server farm. Combined with the lack of any apparent connection to any known group of interest with ties to biological or biomechanical integration or augmentation, it has led me to believe that whoever built this wanted these women to suffer.
What's more, I think we've seen this before. 1982. The initials J.M. recurring over and over.
I'm sounding overly dramatic; what I'm saying, Director, is that I'm going to need all level-4 and lower files regarding the "Roxbury" case, and SCP-[Blackbox]. I think it's back.
Charles St. John
Special Investigative Agent
Site-47
Item #: SCP-3xxx
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-3xxx refers to the handle of a large steak knife.
Item #: SCP-3xxx
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-3xxx are a series of anomalous broadcasts originating from the Hellas Basin on Mars's southern hemisphere. These broadcasts are almost invariably footage of gameplay from various video games with live commentary tracks over them, colloquially referred to as "Lets Plays". The broadcasts are often titled in a manner such as "Alien Buds Play [Game Title]". On one occasion, during a playthrough of the 2006 video game Sonic the Hedgehog, the videos were titled "Alien Buds Suffer Through Sonic the Hedgehog".
SCP-3xxx-1 through SCP-3xxx-4 refers to the individuals commentating SCP-3xxx broadcasts. SCP-3xxx-1 claims to be a human male from Ontario, Canada, named Adam LaPerle33, having been stranded on Mars during a classified space ride and having been rescued by SCP-3xxx-2. SCP-3xxx-1 shows an interest in American culture, particularly the superhero "Batman", and is the most knowledgeable of the commentators regarding the horror genre.
SCP-3xxx-2 claims to be a carbon-based humanoid originating on Mars, being simply named "Soombra", and residing underground in [REDACTED]34. SCP-3xxx-2 apparently studied both Martian and human psychology. SCP-3xxx-2 seems to be of a race of Martians that require a higher salt content to maintain physical health; when the SCP-3xxx broadcasts began, other commentators often displayed annoyance at SCP-3xxx-2 consuming salty snacks loudly during commentary.
SCP-3xxx-3 is simply called "Middan", and claims to be a Vulcan from the planet Raxicoracrafalipitorious35; however Middan is known to often lie, a trait that does not affect their relationship with other commentators. SCP-3xxx-3 has had access to
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the difficultly of detecting SCP-XXXX prior to a "Meet Cute" event, containment is primarily focused on information suppression post-incident. SCP-XXXX-B instances are to be impounded for study, and are to be stored in Vehicular Containment Garages as appropriate, pending destruction.
If SCP-XXXX is detected prior to a "Meet Cute" event, an attempt is to be made so that SCP-XXXX-A individuals are to be restrained or otherwise made unable to participate in these events, and are to be interviewed as any civilian who was affected by an anomalous event, monitored until SCP-XXXX symptoms cease, and then released following administration of appropriate amnestics.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an phenomenon primarily affecting women and motor vehicles in rural areas of the United States, Italy, Australia, China, and Russia. In humans, SCP-XXXX is primarily characterized by the sudden development of mechanophilia36, in spite of any any previous romantic or sexual inclinations, or the lack thereof. Individuals who are affected by SCP-XXXX (henceforth SCP-XXXX-A) have several consistent characteristics:
- All subjects are over the age of forty-five
- All subjects both identify as and are biologically female; transgender and transsexual individuals seem to be unaffected by SCP-XXXX.
- All subjects reside in areas where the human population within 10.7 square kilometers is less than 6,000 individuals
- All subjects are physically capable of walking unassisted
- No subject has been in a sexual or romantic relationship for at least four years, three months.
- All subjects have at least one child; the presence of grandchildren in the family seems to increase the chance that SCP-XXXX will affect an individual.
Due to the aforementioned mechanophilia, SCP-XXXX-A instances will actively seek out automobiles, diverting from their daily routines and oftentimes putting themselves in physical danger in the process. SCP-XXXX-A instances show particular interest in models that are no longer being manufactured; studied individuals have shown the highest signs of sexual arousal in the presence of cars, particularly automobiles that were manufactured within fifteen years of SCP-XXXX-A's birth year.
Automobiles37 affected by SCP-XXXX are termed SCP-XXXX-B. SCP-XXXX-B instances seem to be "paired" with anywhere between one and four SCP-XXXX-A instances, and are capable of self-locomotion. If SCP-XXXX-B is driven, it will often divert its course towards areas where SCP-XXXX-A instances live. It should be noted that SCP-XXXX-B instances are not sentient or sapient, and seem to simply be reacting to the SCP-XXXX anomaly itself, rather than acting of its own volition.
In the presence of SCP-XXXX-A instances, SCP-XXXX-B will stall and fail to start. SCP-XXXX-B instances being driven will have their drivers lose all control over their car, and will often attempt to exit the vehicle. SCP-XXXX-A instances will approach SCP-XXXX-B instances and attempt to interact with them. Despite a lack of response from SCP-XXXX-B instances, the SCP-XXXX-A instance will behave as if though they were capable of speech, carrying on one-sided conversations; the most common topics in these include automobile maintenance, fuel prices, the cities of Dearborn and Detroit, Michigan, Henry Ford's anti-semetic views, and seatbelts.
SCP-XXXX-A individuals will attempt to regularly meet with any SCP-XXXX-B instance in their area, often fixating on one or two particular instances. SCP-XXXX-B instances are often broken into for the sake of SCP-XXXX-A apparently achieving some form of sexual gratification, but in almost all cases, SCP-XXXX-B instances are not stolen.
In 92% of cases, SCP-XXXX-A and -B instances will organize what has been designated as a "Meet Cute" event. In this event, the SCP-XXXX-A instance will find one or more SCP-XXXX-B instances, who will follow the former to an area of road that is otherwise unoccupied. SCP-XXXX-A will stand in the center of the road, and attempt to mimic vehicular sounds for anywhere from five minutes to ten hours. Eventually, there is one of two outcomes:
- The SCP-XXXX-B instance(s) will seem to lose interest, and shortly thereafter, all anomalous properties.
- The SCP-XXX-B instances will accelerate towards SCP-XXXX-A instances at speeds of at least 97 kph, regardless of whether or not the SCP-XXXX-B instance is capable of reaching this speed non-anomalously. If impact occurs, the SCP-XXXX-A instance is killed in 76% of cases, with survivors often left physically disabled for the rest of their lives. Autopsies on deceased SCP-XXXX-A instances following a "Meet Cute" event show a 500% larger amount of dopamine in their brains than other individuals who have died in similar accidents.
If either the SCP-XXXX-A is injured or impaired in such a way that a "Meet Cute" cannot occur (i.e. breaking a leg, being physically bound, leaving their place of residence for a period of at least ten days), then all anomalous properties will gradually cease. SCP-XXXX-A individuals will report a complete lack of interest in cars beyond driving them following this, and will lose all mechanophiliac tendencies.
SCP-XXXX was initially discovered following a mass "Meet Cute" event in █████████████, Ohio, USA, which was originally recorded as an Extranormal Event (See Below) due to its apparently isolated nature. However, a reoccurring pattern emerged with incidents occurring in several other countries, with similar circumstances. The surfacing of a security tape from a gas station in Colorado showing a woman engaging in the "Meet Cute" event with a pickup truck, along with three similar events in California, Maine, and Nebraska, led the Foundation to investigate these incidents as a pattern.
As of March 2017, there have been over 250 recorded instances of SCP-XXXX, with the first instance believed to have been some time between 1970 and 1972. More possible instances are currently under investigation.
Original Documentation:
Designation: EE-1992-46
Description of Event: Ten women, between the ages of 45 and 69, were found dead in the middle of the main road leading into █████████████, Ohio from the south, apparently all having been run over by "vintage" cars brought into town as part of a traveling show; the most recent car involved was dated to 1970. The cars were found to not have been driven in the last decade, and, in fact, five of the involved cars were rendered unable to function normally.
Date of Occurance: ██/██/1992
Location of Occurance:█████████████, Ohio
Follow-Up Actions Taken: Autopsies covertly performed on victims, and cars deconstructed; neither have anomalous properties. However, the deceased were noted to have much higher dopamine levels in their system than is normal in the event of vehicular death.
Video Log SCP-XXXX-205-199: The following is an excerpt from a Youtube entitled "Senile Woman Talks To Car, Police Come, WTF?!" . This video is believed to depict an interaction between an SCP-XXXX-A instance (later identified as Maria "Bobbie" Frank of Sistersville, West Virginia, designated SCP-XXXX-A-205) and an SCP-XXXX-B instance (SCP-XXXX-B-199, a 1980 Ford Fairmont). Ms. Frank was severely injured in a "Meet Cute" event six weeks after this recording was uploaded onto Youtube in May 2016, and died in the hospital two weeks later.
SCP-XXXX-A-205: Well, no, I'm afraid I don't have much of a taste in German cars, I always prefer them American-made. Oh, at a former Chrysler plant? That's adorable! And you're the only one that came out blue in your lot?
Unidentified Male (Owner of SCP-XXXX-B-199): Lady, can you stop? I have kids I need to pick up from school-
SCP-XXXX-A-205: Don't be rude! We're having a conversation. Young people these days, I swear. Pity about that license plate, though, all dinged up; you've been run into the back of a garage a number of times, haven't you? Oh, that's dreadful. Some people need to know when to step on the breaks and when to turn on the gas.
At this point, the unidentified male produces a cell phone from their pocket. The video cuts to approximately three minutes later, when police arrive, presumably to take SCP-XXXX-A-205 into custody. SCP-XXXX-A-205 addresses one of the police cruisers; despite the car being unmanned, it proceeds to accelerate forward and severely damage SCP-XXXX-B-199.
SCP-XXXX-A-205(while assaulting police cruiser): You brute! You've wrecked his bumper! That was the nicest part of him!
Item #: SCP-1982-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-1982-J is a series of zones of weakened reality present in Los Angeles, California, USA; Prague, Czech Republic; Moscow, Russia; New Dehli, India; and Rio Di Janero, Brazil. These zones have several consistent factors between them, affecting human beings that enter them.
Human beings within SCP-1982-J zones
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to the remnants of a pocket dimension located in the basement of a house in Cleveland, Ohio. Formerly, SCP-XXXX was a recognized non-hostile 'BackDoor' community 'BackDoor' communities are artificially-created pocket dimensions which are inhabited by individuals both anomalous and non-anomalous, forming miniature communities. While genuinely benign, these communities pose a threat to the Foundation's mission of secrecy, and are usually shut down or put under monitoring when discovered with a population of 820, colloquially known as 'Hastily Made Cleveland BackDoor'. Due to the nature in which it was destroyed, the basement which SCP-XXXX occupies is approximately ten kilometers larger than the exterior space would allow.
SCP-XXXX contains the remains of approximately 291 buildings, including a grocery store, several clothing stores, twenty apartment complexes, a string of houses, recreational facilities, a television studio, a tourism bureau, and several restaurants. The buildings contained in here show signs of being heavily besieged, with 50 of the 291 buildings being partially or completely destroyed.
Hastily Made Cleveland Backdoor was created by collaboration between a cell of Gamers Against Weed and a group known as "The Dandelion Warhols, Class of 198X", a benign anartist collective primarily made up of former students of the Cleveland Institute of Art from the 1980s. Installations and pieces created by the Dandelion Warhols are primarily commentaries on violence and crime within Cleveland, Ohio.
SCP-XXXX contains several anomalies, either created by the inhabitants of Hastily Made Cleveland BackDoor or as a result of the destruction of the pocket dimension that once housed it. Currently, 357 confirmed anomalies have been observed in or recovered from SCP-XXXX.
| Designation | Description | Location of Discovery | Anomaly Present | Notes |
| SCP-XXXX-01 | A collection 27 of tickets to a show by local comedian Mike Polk Jr. The back of the tickets have a URL for a Youtube video printed on the back. | Former entrance to Hastily Made Cleveland BackDoor | Holding an instance of SCP-XXXX-01 will offer moderate protection from more hazardous anomalies present in SCP-XXXX | We think these are what are known as "BackDoor Keys". These are used as confirmation that the bearer is allowed into a BackDoor dimension. Each BackDoor has their own special key, and they can be anything from subway tokens to medical bracelets to a tattoo. -Dr. Carter |
| SCP-XXXX-02 | A series of black holes that appear in SCP-XXXX on an irregular basis. | Around SCP-XXXX | Often accompanied by audio anomalies, usually made up of a series of swear words. | While moderately destructive, human beings are massive enough that it is unlikely that they are pulled into the event horizon. |
| SCP-XXXX-03 | A mural present depicting Moses Cleaveland being assaulted by the current mayor of Cleveland | On a building directly across from the entrance to SCP-XXXX. | The mural changes to depict the current mayor of the city of Cleveland is, and on occasion, Moses Cleaveland is shown killing the mayor in a graphic manner. | Mural is signed by ███████ ██████████, a local artist; Foundation monitoring has found no association between ██████████ and the Dandelion Warhols. |
| SCP-XXXX-09 | A semi-sentient feminine humanoid statuette, made entirely of pyrite | SCP-XXXX Main Street | Constantly refers to itself as "Credence Leonore Geilgud, of Ancient Druid Origins", and speaks solely in quotes from the movie Troll 2. | Currently in containment at Site-99 |
| SCP-XXXX-11 | A collection of over 2,000 action figures, mostly depicting comic book and movie characters, as well as various real-life cultural icons. | SCP-XXXX Main Street | SCP-XXXX-11 instances are animate, and constantly in open combat with one another, displaying the abilities of their fictional counterparts. | A large majority of these instances are of the Super Sentai/Power Rangers toy line. An action figure depicting [REDACTED] was found heavily mangled, with the words 'Fuck this meme in particular' written on it. |
| SCP-XXXX-25 | A picture depicting an antagonist from the animated series Freakazoid | Trash bin in SCP-XXXX | Attempts to print the name of the depicted character (Candle Jack) results in further information being | |
| SCP-XXXX-27 | A damaged iPod Shuffle MP3 music player. All files on this object are from musicians or musical groups created or based in Cleveland Ohio, primarily Nine Inch Nails. | Medical clinic, approximately two kilometers within SCP-XXXX | Listening to sound files stored on SCP-XXXX-27 results in the inability to perceive songs by the band Smash Mouth for nine days. | Most likely used to counteract the effects of SCP-XXXX-31 |
| SCP-XXXX-31 | A large (3m diameter) loudspeaker, with an on/off switch on it. Turning it on causes a random song from the discography of the band Smash Mouth to play at a high volume. | A park within SCP-XXXX | When a song emitted from SCP-XXXX-31 is perceived, subjects will be compelled to repeat songs from the band Smash Mouth ad nauseum, until exposed to a counter-agent, such as those present on SCP-XXXX-27. | Pardon my unprofessional tone here, but: fucking millennials, Jesus Christ.- Dr. Carter |
| SCP-XXXX-35 A photograph of a dozen individuals, most of which correspond to known Persons of Interest under investigation by the Foundation A Picture Frame in Town Hall SCP-XXXX-35 causes all written information about it to be printed in as little physical space as possible | ||||
| SCP-XXXX-40 | [REDACTED] | An aquarium within an apartment building approximately 3.5 kilometers from SCP-XXXX entrance | [REDACTED] | Level 4 and higher personnel see addendum |
| SCP-XXXX-41 | A 9mm Glock pistol | Within a destroyed apartment building | When fired, ammunition takes the form of a flag that has a full-body portrait of Gaston Glock printed on it, protruding from the barrel. Objects that SCP-XXXX-41 are aimed at are undamaged, but when aimed at a human being, the image of Glock on the flag develops injuries equivalent to those that would be present should an individual be hit with a 9mm round. | An item similar to this is in storage at Site-99; it was used at an art installment by the Dandelion Warhols called "The Portrait of Gaston Glock, or: You Have Killed Too Many In This City". |
| SCP-XXXX-46 | A miniature toy of a stegosaurus, with a stamp from the Cleveland Museum of Natural History embossed on its underside | A small sandbox in SCP-XXXX | Animate and capable of speech; however, SCP-XXXX-46 only says facts about stegosaurid dinosaurs. | Loaned to the Site-99 paleontology department |
| SCP-XXXX-57 | A three-meter tall red steel door | The ruins of a bombed apartment building | SCP-XXXX-57 was capable of opening regardless of its orientation or if it was mounted in a door frame. It led to a janitorial closet in the Tower City mall within downtown Cleveland; however, the aperture has been cut off since Foundation discovery. | We've found few bodies here; maybe this is how they got out?-Dr. Carter |
| cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content |
| cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content |
| cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content |
| cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content | cell-content |
we may have gone a bit overboard. :x
honestly, the whole thing was an accident.
someone in the warhols made a loudspeaker that played smash mouth
it was a joke
got taken too far
we kind of blew up a backdoor
whoops
whoever finds this: sorry.
Nexus #: Nx-0018
Civilian Designation: Sloth's Pit, Wisconsin
Population: 21,214
Area Class: Shangri-La
Nexus Interaction Protocol: Civilians within Nx-0018 are fully aware of the anomalous nature of the area they populate, and have been encouraged to cooperate with Foundation personnel on matters pertaining to anomalies within the town. The populous of Nx-0018 is amicable, and have E-Personnel-Class Level knowledge of Foundation operations.
Due to the familiarity the majority of the citizens of Sloth's Pit, Wisconsin have with the anomalous, it has been deemed that amnestic exposure would be actively detrimental to their way of life. However, Nx-0018 is frequented by tourists during the summer and fall; during this time, agents are to discreetly administer Class-F amnestic to non-native individuals, and a subliminal signal is to be broadcasted through any broadcast-capable equipment around town to suppress the formation of memories related to anomalous events.
In the event that an individual from outside of Sloth's Pit, Wisconsin wishes to take up permanent residence, see Subsection 15, Appendix J of the Sloth's Pit zoning code.
Anomalies within Nx-0018 are widely varied, and are to be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. However, there are several reoccurring, predicable anomalies (For an example, see Document Nx-0018-Apollo-15, aka "Gravity Fails") which can either be avoided or easily contained.
The following Holidays are not to be celebrated within Nx-0018 under any circumstances:
- Robert E. Lee's birthday (January 19th)
- National Library Worker's Day (April 21st)
- American Independence Day (July 4th)
- St. Nicholas's Day (December 6th)
Local bylaws are to dictate any punishment for attempting to celebrate these holidays.
Containment Facility: Site 87, Codenamed S & C Plastics, dedicated to Research and Development of Anomalous Containment Techonlogy, Headquarters of the Department of Multi-universal Affairs, and General Nexus Studies.
Description: Nx-018 is a city located in Douglas County, Wisconsin.
As a side effect of the combination of the two logical systems, several Unknown Anomalous Entities have appeared in the town since the Genesis event. Contact has been made with several of these UAEs, and all of them- particularly UAE-Chapman-341 ("The Goatman") and UAE-Chapam-342 ("Sinning Jessie)- show a great matter of disdain for the Foundation, related to Incident Nx-0018-Forest Green. The UAEs are not openly hostile towards residents of Nx-0018, but have been known to attempt to frighten civilians that venture into their territory, usually in wooded areas. As of writing, there have been zero casualties related to a UAE within Nx-0018 since at least 1952.
Collected Documents:
Name: Jackson Marcus Sloth
Date of Birth: January 17th, 1847
Date of Death: December 25th, 1890
Reason(s) for Interest:
- Death occurred immediately prior to manifestation of Genesis event
- Several artifacts apparently owned by Jackson Sloth possess anomalous properties
- Burial marker in local cemetery has been moved at least ten times since death (body was not recovered following death, see file on Genesis event)
- Unknown Anomalous Entities within Nx-0018 treat Sloth with a great amount of reverence
Incident Nx-0018-Genesis:
The Genesis incident for Nx-0018 occurred on December 25th, 1890, following the conclusion of a Christmas party held by Jackson Sloth, the town's founder. Approximately an hour after the last guest left the premises, an earthquake occurred, damaging several buildings within New Toronto. The full effects of the quake would not be noticed until the next morning.
On December 26th, during a Boxing Day celebration, Jackson Sloth was notably absent. When he was sent for, Sloth's manor was found to have been entirely destroyed, having collapsed into an apparent sinkhole. Sloth's body was not recovered, nor were the bodies of his wife Harriet Manchester-Sloth or his youngest son Jasper Phineas Sloth; his daughter Caroline Sloth, was hospitalized for burns sustained from a kitchen fire a week previously.
Ihpkmn's Talebox
Ihpkmn's Talebox 2: Because The First One Kept Getting Full
