Ihpkmn

CAN = Confirmed Abnormal Nexus
CART = Concrete Anomaly- Ready to Transport

SCPs

Item #: SCP-3xxx

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: The IP address at which SCP-3xxx may be accessed from has been blocked from all public IP addresses, with programs in place that cause most browsers to fail or display messages associated with malware detection on the website. Attempting to bypass this warning will infect the device attempting to access SCP-3xxx with a Foundation-engineered malware, which will cause a hard reset on each subsequent attempt to access the website.

Currently, twenty-nine Foundation staff employed at Site-21 are part of the AW Credit program, and are to complete tasks that will earn them further AW Credits at their leisure. Should the required activities show any abnormalities, they are to be reported to Dr. Lun immediately. No attempts should be made to purchase instances of SCP-3xxx-1.

Description: SCP-3xxx refers to a web address at [REDACTED].com, which claims to be under the sole ownership of Andy Wilson Industries since 2005; this corporation does not exist. SCP-3xxx contains no memetic, cognitohazardous or otherwise infohazardous materials, and when accessed without having registered for the website, simply appears to be a marketing website for Andrew Wilson Industries. The exact nature of AW Industries business is unclear, but it appears to center around the delivery of anomalous parcels designated SCP-3xxx-1.

SCP-3xxx-1 refers to 3.1m3 crates made out of an aluminum-titanium alloy, and the contents of these crates SCP-3xxx-1 instances appear covered in a Kevlar parachute, suggesting that they were intended to be dropped from cargo-bearing aircraft. The crates are stamped with the Andy Wislon Industries logo (See Image) [Will put image in later], and fall open in response to contact with human skin.

SCP-3xxx-1 instances can be obtained from SCP-3xxx in one of two ways: either registering oneself for the "AW Credit" merit program, which rewards points for completion of various, seemingly arbitrary tasks that vary from individual to individual, or paying a price in US Dollars to receive up to 100 instances of SCP-3xxx-1 at a time. The prices range from two instances of SCP-3xxx for 200USD to 100 for 15,000USD. When earned or bought, the SCP-3xxx-1 instance will materialize within 5m of the individual who ordered it over the course of approximately ten seconds.

The contents of the SCP-3xxx-1 instances vary wildly, in terms of the variety, quality and quantity of included items. All items are stamped with the Andy Wilson Industries logo in one of six colors, indicating the quality of the item, from grey (lowest quality), blue, yellow, pink, red and gold (highest quality). The most common inclusions are:

  • Bottles of potable water. Gray rating or higher.
  • MRE Packets, containing large amounts of protein and sodium, as well as an unknown compound, which appears to trigger an addiction response in individuals who have consumed it. Yellow rating or higher.
  • Antibiotic medications, including amoxicillin, clarithromycin, and [REDACTED], an experimental antibiotic currently under development by the pharmaceutical company ██████. Pink rating or higher.
  • Tinderboxes, matches and other firemaking equipment. Gray rating or higher.
  • Seeds, including corn, wheat and tomato seeds; seeds have only germinated in 2.5% of cases. Gray rating only.
  • First aid materials, evidently meant for treating gunshot and animal wounds, as well as radiation poisoning. Blue rating or higher.
  • Reading material, usually in the form of propaganda promoting Wilson-Kotick, printed on edible paper. Gray rating or higher.
  • Various bladed or blunt instruments, such as sledgehammers and carving knives, evidently meant for use as weapons. Blue rating or higher; the lower the rating, the more fragile the implement.
  • Firearms, ranging from pistols to automatic rifles; in one case, an SCP-3xxx-1 instance produced an RPG-7 launcher, which was rendered non-functional after a single firing and could not be repaired. Gold rating only.

Each SCP-3xxx-1 only contains five items, regardless of whether or not there is additional available space.

It has been noted that SCP-3xxx-1 instances that are bought using SCP-3xxx, as opposed to earned using the AW Credit merit program, often have higher-quality items within, such as more nutritious food, purer water, and more effective medicine.

Addendum: AW Credit Task List:

The following tasks have appeared on the AW Credit Program task list, as achievements that can be completed to earn AW Credits. It should be noted that an SCP-3xxx-1 instance is approximately 2,000 credits per box.

Achievements completed to date are in red:

  • Welcome To The New Age: Frag1 Twenty Enemies. 50 Credits.
  • Data-Mining: Boobytrap a computer. 50 Credits.2
  • Geneva Convention? What's That?: Commit a crime against humanity. 50 Credits.3
  • FYI I Am A…: Stealth kill an enemy. 50 Credits.
  • No Ammo? No Problem!: Kill an enemy with an unloaded or broken weapon. 50 Credits.
  • Finders Takers: Steal someone else's supply drop. 100 Credits.
  • Animal "Rights" Activist: Kill twenty different animals. 100 Credits.4
  • It's Got Electrolytes! Drink a Dorito-flavored Mountain Dew.5 200 Credits.6
  • Batter Up: Decapitate an enemy with a baseball bat, then hit a home run. 500 Credits.
  • World-Famous Corn Star: Grow 100 Units of AW Corn. 2000 Credits.7
  • War Profiteer: Buy 100 Lootboxes at once. 5000 credits.

Addendum: Irregular Behavior:

On 5/21/17, Dr. Lisa Mayberry, one of the researchers who is signed up for the AW Merit Program, noted several troubling deviations in the achievements she was given for her week, including:

  • Do What Regalis8 Would Want: Breach Containment of SCP-3xxx. 8000 Credits.
  • Nuke 'em: Detonate the on-site nuclear device.9 10000 credits.

Dr. Mayberry's attempts to discontinue her membership in the AW Credit program have been unsuccessful.

The following week, Dr. Richard McDonagh received this as a weekly objective:

  • Cut You In: Breach Containment of SCP-3xxx. $10,000,000.

This is the only time the AW Credit program has had a monetary incentive as opposed to AW Credits.

Furthermore, the weekly purchased SCP-3xxx-1 contained only grey-tier items. One of the items, a packet of cauliflower seeds, contained a note written in English:

Keep it up. Whoever's doing this. You're making them mad on our side, too. We've already toppled Howard's rule in Maryland, and France's Colantonio's on our side now. We're winning. Just don't buy anything else.

The signature on this note was a stylized image of a donkey. The significance of this image is unknown.

Item #: SCP-001

Object Class: Proteus

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-001 refers to a series of objects that are considered puzzles, games, or

Electronic copy below as per Federal Records Act

UIU File 1958-092: Codename: Edison

Summary: Subject is deceased, no body remaining. Five FBI operatives killed in confrontation with subject's allies at Thorston, Kentucky. All members of opposing force deceased, all technology confiscated and placed into storage.

Link to the Silber Age of SCPs.

(I couldn't resist the pun.)

http://pastebin.com/YDtXZWi5

Other ideas I Couldn't get into the bin because I pressed "create page" on accident:

A team of future heroes called the Omega Squadron, led by Dr. Daath

Silber Serpent's Hand
Wogglebug The same.
Wogglebug Just leave them as they are. Maybe a bit more bookish.

Prometheus Labs is a team of displaced Axis, Soviet, and Eastern European scientists whom no country wanted to employF

"Don't talk about the dinosaurs - it'd be a shame if you got mauled by a lion when you get back to Texas"

BEHOLD THE END OF ALL THAT EVER WAS, IS, AND EVER WILL BE. I mean, uh, hi. Sorry, Lovecraftian Slip.

An article that explores anarchy and non-human sapience, conveying paranoia.

Tales

Ihpkmn's Talebox
Ihpkmn's Talebox 2: Because The First One Kept Getting Full
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