Daddy's Old Stuff
Item #: 2250
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2250 is to be kept in a securely locked 4-digit numerical safe at Site 21. As of 04/10/20██, SCP-2250 can no longer be contained in a regular containment locker. SCP-2250 is now, for lack of a better word, linked to Dr. Price, and any method to separate the two has evidently become impossible. Therefore SCP-2250 is to be kept in Dr. Price's office, in a securely locked safe with a 4 digit combination. All those seeking to join the experimentation branch for SCP-2250 instances must contact Dr. Price for information.
Description: SCP-2250 is a 80 meter3 cardboard box. The box is labelled "Daddy's Old Stuff" with a yellow post-it note and red sharpie. Within SCP-2250 are many 'old trinkets' mainly from early 1980s to late 1990s. Such old trinkets include a functioning Gameboy Color, a power glove, and playboy magazines from 1994. However, four of these items (logged to be about 64 items) are considered anomalous for various reasons, these objects only behave anomalously while outside the containment of SCP-2250. Testing is now being conducted to discern how many more items within SCP-2250 are actually anomalous.
Item #: SCP-2250-1
Description: SCP-2250-1 is a white karate belt, the words "help u fite gud" is written with black sharpie.
Effect: Contrary to the label, wearing this belt does not improve ones combat capabilities. Upon tying the belt around the waist, several symptoms become to overtake the wearer of the belt. Such symptoms include: Nausea, Headaches, Toothaches (only 1 reported incident, may be unrelated.) , a general feeling of laziness and fatigue, and a sharp decrease in physical capabilities. However, wearing the belt heightens the wearer's mental capabilities to some extent, allowing them to read and understand large volumes of book in under 2 hours. SCP-2250-1 has no dangerous side effects, although it is has very distracting and unpleasant symptoms.
Item #: SCP-2250-2
Description: SCP-2250-2 is a late 1990's design Papa John's pizza box of the same width and length of SCP-2250. It is labelled "Infinite Pizza Box" with a yellow post-it note.
Effect: Again, in contrast to the label, SCP-2250-2 is not by any means an indefinite resource of pizza. When the lid is opened, the pizza box is empty, with nothing but old foul-smelling grease within. When any portion of a pizza is place inside SCP-2250-2, after closing and re-opening the lid, that pizza portion completely disappears. It is currently unknown to us where the pizza portions disappear, or what causes this effect, but The Foundation has been successful in nulling this effect by placing a regular sized slice of pizza within SCP-2250-2, placing SCP-2250-2 inside of SCP-2250, and then closing both lids.
Item #: SCP-2250-3
Description: SCP-2250-3 is a mundane looking 1990 Baltimore Orioles football team bobblehead. The head resembles a yellow duckling's head with a Baltimore Orioles cap on the top of its head.
Effect: So dis right here is an anomaly that makes all the guys who talk about its effect, whether it be with the text or by talking, completely unable to talk professionally at all, like at all! We here The Foundation tried writing reports with all sorts of substances, and we even tried to program a computer program that will write it for us, we just can't show any sort of professionalism what-so-ever when writing about its spooky effect. We asked Dr. Mason to do a lil' audio recording of him talking about this bobblehead and all he told us after he was done was "For the sake of my reputation as a senior researcher, I implore you to delete any and all copies of this audio log."
Item #: SCP-2250-4
Description: SCP-2250-4 is a seemingly mundane VHS tape titled "The Chronicles of The Life of Billy Ray Cyrus" that can be played with any VCR. Of course it's was really hard to play the damn thing because it's 20██ and no one owns a fucking VCR anymore. We managed to locate a VCR in the possession of Dr. L and we've filed an inquiry to "borrow" the VCR for the duration of study.
Effect: SCP-2250-4, as labelled, is a complete and accurate record of the life of actor/musician Billy Ray Cyrus. The video cassette starts off detailing the moment of Billy Ray Cyrus' birth, up until his whereabouts on the current date. The tape is impossibly long for its carrying capacity, spanning 52 years of constant non-stop surveillance of Billy. The tape continues to show the activities and whereabouts of Billy non-stop as time passes. It is unknown how this tape manages to keep surveillance on Billy Ray Cyrus, but it is usually done through Camera. Hidden cameras in his house, and public surveillance cameras in public.
Note: Further testing to locate more Anomalous items contained within SCP-2250 is now underway.