Jazstar

Dr Ensophos had finally gotten the hang of it. For the first week he’d anxiously checked the labels above the doors as he walked past.

Site-01. This door was made of a deep, thick oak and had a large brass doorknob. In stark contrast to this were the numerous high-tech security systems, ensuring that only those permitted could enter. Dr Ensophos had never seen the inside of this door. He suspected that he never would.

Site-17. This was a welcoming sort of door, made of light beech wood and with a shiny silver doorknob. A sign hung lopsidedly on the door, with “A place to leave all your troubles behind” written on it. This was the first stop for many new Foundation employees, confused by the rigorous security employed by the sites that they were assigned to.

Site-19. Dr Ensophos had heard stories that this door was once a cheap plywood door, covered in scratches and dents and missing a corner. He had only ever known its current iteration: a warm pine wood with a worn gold doorknob. It was here that Dr Ensophos worked. He enjoyed opening it up each day to see what was waiting for him.

Today was not that day, however. Dr Ensophos was in a rush. His alarm had failed to go off this morning, and he’d had to dash out of the door with a piece of bread in his mouth and his shirt half buttoned. As he dashed down the corridor, he mentally tried out excuses. A broken alarm clock? No, that wouldn’t fly. Could he fake a family emergency? A dead grandparent perhaps? No, the Foundation had his records and knew that his grandparents were already deceased. Maybe a sick cat? No, no; he was allergic to cats. Maybe he could just pretend that nothing was wrong.

The fact that the door opened without him even swiping his ID should have been his first clue that something was wrong, but he was too caught up in his current dilemma to notice.

“Hey 19,” Dr Ensophos said, pulling down the cuff of his sleeve. His eyes rose.

This was not Site-19.

He looked back to the door in confusion. While it looked similar to the warm pine of 19, he now realised that this was the soft alder of an entirely different place: The Critters. He turned to the room, noting the eyes of several studious figures latched onto him.

“Um,” Dr Ensophos mumbled, “disregard that.” He turned around and walked out, closed the door, and looked at it. Yes, this was definitely not 19. For a moment he laid his head against the cool wood, desperately trying to figure out a way to undo what had just been done. Finally, he turned to real door to Site-19, scanned his card, and stepped in.

“Hey 19,” Dr Ensophos said, somewhat more trepidatiously than the first. Dr Hippo was in the corner, musing over whether they should get feedback before proceeding with a research project. Dr. Cad was asking Jarvis about his new work, clearly trying to engage the rest of 19 in the process. Dr Konrad and MTF Captain Kirby were having a detailed discussion about some obscure project. Nobody seemed to notice Dr Ensophos, which was for the best, as he had just had a brilliant idea.

Dr Ensophos quickly backed out of Site-19 and made his way to Site-17. “A place to leave all your troubles behind” was what the sign said. He was hoping that it was true.

“Is it possible to amnesticise your own co-workers?” he asked, as he burst into the room. Dr Star looked up from her work.

“No.” she said. “You must forever live with the shame of mistaking The Critters for 19.” Dr Ensophos sagged against the wall briefly before straightening up.

“Here’s to hoping no one notices,” Dr Ensophos said to himself, turning to leave.

“You can amnesticise yourself if you like,” Dr Sera chimed in, emerging from a side room, “but everybody else will still remember. You’ll forget everything you’ve learned since you arrived at the Foundation though, so tread carefully.”

Dr Ensophos turned and stared at Dr Sera.

“So what you’re saying is,” he said slowly, “I can only make myself feel good about this.”

“Yes,” Dr Sera said, far to gleefully. Dr Ensophos slinked out of the room and closed the door. So much for leaving all my troubles behind, he thought. He returned to 19, swiped his ID card once again, and opened the door. He hadn’t even managed to take a single step inside when he heard a familiar voice.

“Hey guys,” Dr Star called out over the din in 19, “Guess what Dr Ensophos just did in The Critters?”

“… I hate you…” Dr Ensophos muttered, after getting over his bewilderment at Dr Star’s apparent ability to be in two places at once.

“Love you too!” Dr Star called out as Dr Ensophos shut the door without entering. He turned and trudged back to The Critters. At least there would be fewer people there to witness his shame, he thought. He entered the room and sunk down into a chair, putting his hands in his head. And at least it’s over now.

“It’s here forever Dr Ensophos,” rang out a familiar voice. Dr Ensophos jumped out of his chair and looked around. Dr Star had been leaning against a side wall; she now began to walk towards him.

“I will never be amnesticised. I will immortalise it forever.” Dr Star laughed. Dr Ensophos froze. If I stand completely still, he thought, no one will notice me. Dr Star’s face changed from gleeful to concerned as Dr Ensophos continued not to speak.

“Dr Ensophos?” she asked, “You do know that people mistake 17 for 19 all the time right?” Dr Star said, in an attempt to make him feel better. “I think Dr Procyon did it the other day. And that’s much more embarrassing.”

“Wasn’t me,” said a voice in the shadows. Dr Ensophos and Dr Star both whipped around to face the source of the voice, as Dr Procyon stepped into the light.

“I mean I have,” they said, “But not recently.” Dr Star laughed.

“That’s probably the case,” Dr Ensophos said, though he was a little concerned to know that such a well known doctor know knew about his mistake.

“Do you have some sort of system in place to tell you whenever you’re mentioned?” Dr Star asked.

“Yep.” Dr Procoyon said.

“Ok then. I’ve called off the hit squad,” Dr Ensophos joked, attempting to lighten the mood. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of movement, turning just in time to see Dr Sera slapping Dr Procyon with a bit with a large snubnose eel.

“Chao, why?” Dr Procyon asked, wiping away slime from his face.

“Because I figured it’s been way too long since you’ve been slapped in the face with a fish.” Dr Sera intoned sternly, before marching out of the room with Dr Procyon in tow.

“Ah, sorry Dr Ensophos,” Dr Star mumbled, “I didn’t mean to call more attention to your mistake.”

“No worries,” Dr Ensophos said, “It’s rare to have the opportunity to kick someone while they’re down. Take it when you can!”

“To be fair, if anyone had asked me what you’d done in The Critters, I’d have said something like ‘Given a kickass peer-review.’”

“Aww, thank you,” Dr Ensophos said. He felt much better, and was just turning to leave when the door slammed open.

“Tell me the deets,” Dr Tretter demanded, their chest heaving as they tried to catch their breath, “I revel in pain.”

“Go away Dr Tretter,” Dr Ensophos mumbled. Dr Star turned to Dr Tretter.

“I know you have a camera feed of The Critters, Dr Tretter,” she said, “You know the deets.” Dr Tretter’s face suddenly became worried.

“Oh shit, I forgot that I had that open,” Dr Tretter wailed,” I’m probably killing the batteries faster.”

“But just to recap, Dr Ensophos burst into The Critters thinking it was 19 and got super embarrassed and asked 17 if you can amnesticise your co-workers.” Dr Star said, her previous glee returning, “Deetz told.” Dr Ensophos groaned, but then took a deep breath and decided to take the high road.

“I’ll call off the camera feed hitman too,” he said, “… Do you know how much these cost, Dr Star?”

“Hey,” Dr Star exclaimed, “I didn’t tell you to hire her!” Dr Tretter looked thoughtful.

“I actually asked because I was watching the feed in Site-17,” they said.

“Oh,” Dr Star looked a little let down,” Well. There you have it.” She turned as the door opened, and Captain Kirby stepped inside.

“Dr Ensophos,” he said comfortingly,” You’re making this such a bigger deal than it’s worth.” Dr Ensophos was relieved, but only for a moment.

“And it’s hilarious,” Captain Kirby continued, “And I want to incorporate it into my work somehow to further immortalise this dumb mistake. I won’t because I’m not good enough to do it justice… But I want to.”

Dr Ensophos buried his head in his hands once more.


Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Clustered reports of abnormal behavioural trends are to be monitored and evaluated for potential SCP-XXXX outbreaks. These trends include, but are not limited to: increases in mandatory psychological evaluations, philanthropic behaviour, heroic behaviour, murder, and changes in employment rate. Under no circumstances should SCP-XXXX-1 instances be put in a situation which might be interpreted as an Incapacitation Event. For this reason, Protocol 14B (Death of a Family Member) is to be utilised during initial containment of SCP-XXXX-1 instances.

In-person encounters with SCP-XXXX-1 instances are strictly forbidden, to prevent possible SCP-XXXX infection. Contained SCP-XXXX-1 instances are to be remotely interviewed to determine infection risk zones. Following this, SCP-XXXX-1 instances are to be terminated. Termination of SCP-XXXX-1 instances must be carried out in such a way as to prevent contact between the instance and non-infected humans until termination is completed and [DESTROY THE BODY, YO].

Description:1

SCP-XXXX is the spirochete bacterium Treponema pallidum instigare. With the recent development in polymerase chain reactions, molecular approaches have been able to differentiate between SCP-XXXX and other treponematoses.

SCP-XXXX infects humans through skin-to-skin contact lasting more than one second during an Incapacitation Events. Hosts infected with SCP-XXXX are known as SCP-XXXX-1 instances. The symptoms of SCP-XXXX infection gradually progress over time, with hosts generally demonstrating similar discrepancies as behaviour. A general timeframe is provided below. Note that the infection proceeds in gradual manner, and so only the major differences will be noted.

Time Since Infection Behavioural Changes Examples
Initial Infection No change in behaviour. N/A.
Year 1 SCP-XXXX-1 instances demonstrate slightly increased levels of behaviour considered to be politely helpful. Opening doors; pulling out chairs.
Year 5 SCP-XXXX-1 instances will spontaneously go out of their way to provide aid to individuals appearing to be struggling. Helping somebody with physical difficulties cross a busy street; helping someone with many bags carry them.
Year 10 SCP-XXXX-1 instances will actively seek out situations in which they can provide aid. Volunteering at soup kitchens; spending free time at homeless shelters.
Year 16 SCP-XXXX-1 instances will cease engagement in any current employment or academic pursuits and instead dedicate this time to a variety of charitable pursuits. SCP-XXXX-1 instances will begin to offer socially unacceptable aid at this stage. Offering to drive unknown children to and from school; offering to help people unpack moving trucks.
Year 20 SCP-XXXX-1 instances will not take no for an answer. Breaking into cars to turn off lights; [EXAMPLE]
Year 25 SCP-XXXX-1 instances will cease all activities not required for sustenance of life with the exception of providing aid to others. No further behavioural changes have been noted at this time. N/A.

Hang up coat
Clean dishes in middle of night
interviewing someone in the late stages who won't stop trying to pull out their fingernails because they have no other food to offer you
terminally depressed person might decide other people shouldn't have to feel this way so start, I dunno, burning down their workplaces
if they're going to go serial killer, maybe they pick their victims off some weird specific criteria, like they saw them be mean to somebody
Mean people spread sadness, sadness is bad, it's helpful to everybody if sad-makers die
I am thinking now about a lot of fringe groups who have super radical ideas. Like I don't know how many times I've seen some wack-a-doo in an LGBTQ group say something like "the world would be better if we killed all heterosexuals".

of the genus _, most closely related to _. It ___

SCP-XXXX spreads through direct physical contact between stage 3 and stage 1 SCP-XXXX-1 instances. SCP-XXXX

Stage 1: Stage 1 can be triggered in any living human by exposure to [TEMPORARY].

Stage 2: SCP-XXXX instances slowly ceases to provide aid to others. This starts small - not holding doors for others, etc., but eventually progresses to ceasing employment and not caring for children.

Stage 3: During stage 3, SCP-XXXX-1 instances will be injured, fall ill, or become otherwise incapacitated and in need of aid. It appears that the manner of incapacitation is non-anomalous. As such, SCP-XXXX-1 instances may remain in stage 2 for years, or even decades. During this period of incapacitation, all observers of SCP-XXXX-1 instances will find themselves unable to not provide aid. Later interviews indicate that each observer believed that they were morally required to provide aid, explaining that they were the only ones who could successfully achieve this. This belief occurs even when the observer was able to notice better qualified people nearby. It is in this stage that SCP-XXXX becomes highly infectious. Approximately ?% of observers will develop stage 1 symptoms of SCP-XXXX within ?hours/days/…
Should SCP-XXXX-1 instances survive stage 3, they will reenter the end half of stage 2. While they are no longer infectious, any instance of incapacitation will trigger stage 3 once more. While there does not appear to be a limit on the number of times an SCP-XXXX-1 instance can enter stage 3, they will suffer psychological trauma from being incapacitated so often. SCP-XXXX-1 instances have been known to develop a range of psychological trauma, including but not limited to PTSD, Paranoid Personality Disorder, etc.

Due to the unpredictable nature of SCP-XXXX's infection method, predictive models estimate it would take roughly fifty years for 25% of the global population to become infected, without Foundation intervention. These models suggest that there is very little likelihood of the entirety of humanity becoming infected, but do propose that 85% of the global population would be infected within 250 years.