Self Inserts
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Item #: SCP-XXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: News media and the Internet are to be monitored for mention of possible occurrences of SCP-XXX-A. MTF Alpha-22 ("Censors With Guns") are to investigate such possible occurrences. Any actual instances which are found are to be destroyed, along with any narrative containing media within one meter of the instance. If possible, the destroyed media are to be replaced with non-anomalous copies, and evidence planted suggesting that the altered narrative was a prank. If the destroyed media can't be replaced, their destruction may be disguised as theft, arson, gas leak explosions, computer hacking, or terrorist attacks.

All extant instances of SCP-XXX-A are to be kept in section B3 of the anomalous media storage wing of Site ██. No narrative related SCPs may be moved within 30 meters of section B3. Any medium capable of holding a narrative which enters section B3 must be destroyed before being taken back out, save for the skin and apparel of personnel; the skin and apparel of any personnel visiting section B3 must not have any narratives upon them. All computing devices used within section B3 which are not being used for experiments or for storing digital instances of SCP-XXX-A must be configured so that they write to remote storage media via the site's intranet, with their internal storage media made read-only.

Anyone wishing to create new instances of SCP-XXX-A must either have a security level of 2 or higher, or the written permission of Dr. ██████. Narratives converted into SCP-XXX-A must not be about nor mention SCP-XXX, any narrative related SCPs, or any mind affecting or memetic SCPs.

A library of digitized, non-anomalous copies of SCP-XXX-A instances is kept in the Foundation's database, and may be accessed by anyone with security level 1 or higher.

Description: SCP-XXX is an anomalous phenomenon which affects narratives which are (with very few exceptions) fixed in media. The narratives are affected by physically changing their medium, at which point the medium becomes an instance of SCP-XXX-A, which is capable of "infecting" nearby narrative containing media and turning them into further instance of SCP-XXX-A (see below for details on infection). The narrative is altered by the insertion of one or more entities referred to as SCP-XXX-B, which will be of the same species or nature as the most prominent sapients within the narrative. They appear soon after the introduction of the first sapient, and start in what is known as "criticism mode", where they criticize the actions of the sapients and offer suggestions on how they should do things. The sapients only ever react to SCP-XXX-B with irritation and annoyance, do their best to ignore them, and never change their actions from the original narrative. The behavior of the sapients suggest that they view SCP-XXX-B as non-anomalous and harmless everyday pests. Non-sapients are unable to perceive any SCP-XXX-B while in this mode.

The instances of SCP-XXX-B will become increasingly annoyed that their criticisms and suggestions are being ignored, and when their annoyance crosses a threshold they will switch to "replacement mode", where the sapients they criticize will vanish and the SCP-XXX-B will take their place in the narrative. Non-replaced sapients will not notice that the replacement has happened, though they will notice that the replaced sapients are acting strangely; SCP-XXX-B will retain knowledge of what they truly are. Up to the point of replacement all changes to the narrative (save for the addition of SCP-XXX-B) will have been minor, but after the replacement the narrative will increasingly diverge from the original.

While in "criticism mode" SCP-XXX-B are completely immortal and invulnerable. Once in "replacement mode" they are only mortal and vulnerable to the degree they wish to be. If an SCP-XXX-B allows itself to "die" then it will enter "audience mode", where it can only be perceived by other SCP-XXX-B, to which it will offer commentary and suggestions. If an SCP-XXX-B grows dissatisfied with the way the narrative is progressing it may "quit" by leaving the narrative. If all the SCP-XXX-B quit then the narrative will abruptly cease.

LINK TO LOG OF SELECTED SCP-XXX-A GOES HERE

Details on SCP-XXX-A infection

To date, all infections have displayed the following characteristics and restrictions, with no exceptions:

  • They will not affect memories of narratives or transmissions of narratives.
  • SCP-XXX-B instances cannot manifest a body outside of a medium.
  • When fixed in a medium, the medium in which the narrative is fixed must have enough capacity for the altered narrative to contain at least one mention of at least one SCP-XXX-B.
  • The narrative must contain at least one sapient entity, or at least one non-sapient which is anthropomorphized to the extent that the narrative treats it as sapient.
  • The narrative must provide a context in which instances of SCP-XXX-B can appear, and a context in which they can perform their usual behaviours. This excludes all non-fictional narratives save for documentaries and instructional documentation.
  • The narrative must provide a format which is flexible enough for instances of SCP-XXX-B to be inserted within it. For instance, a limerick will not be affected. However, a series of limericks about the same subject can be affected by adding new limericks and removing old limericks.
  • The narrative must not be a copy of or derived from an instance of SCP-XXX-A.

To date, the vast majority of infections have displayed the following characteristics and restrictions, with few exceptions:

  • Live performances are not affected.
  • Playbacks of recorded narratives are not affected separately from the media from which it is played back.

When a narrative fixed in a medium is affected, the medium it is fixed in is changed to alter the narrative, and the changed medium becomes an instance of SCP-XXX-A. The change happens instantly, and all susceptible narratives within the medium are changed at the same time. Narratives are affected by their medium coming within one meter of an existing instance of SCP-XXX-A. A single instance of SCP-XXX-A can only infect once every one to three days, and an SCP-XXX-A only becomes infective about a month after it was converted. If all affected narratives are wiped from the medium it ceases to be anomalous. A copy of the contents of SCP-XXX-A will also become an SCP-XXX-A if the destination medium is within one meter of the source medium at any time during the copying; otherwise, any copy will be non-anomalous.

Depending on the actions of an instance's SCP-XXX-B the narrative might increase or decrease in length. If it increases in length then non-narratives and non-affected narratives within the medium will be overwritten by the expanded narrative Non-narrative content which is associated with the narrative, like page numbers, copyright notices, and the table of contents, will not be overwritten. If the SCP-XXX-A is the storage medium of a computing device which also stores the device's operating system and/or software, a file will not be overwritten if doing so would render the device unable to display the narrative. If there is still not enough capacity within the medium the narrative will abruptly stop.


This section will be in a separate page, linked from the main article

A selected list of narratives affected by SCP-XXX:

Narrative: ████████, a short story about astronauts disarming a bomb while aboard a spaceship.
Notes: After replacing the astronauts, the SCP-XXX-B immediately set off the bomb. Despite the explosion and the exposure to hard vacuum the SCP-XXX-B are unharmed. Despite the lack of air the SCP-XXX-B talk with each other, agreeing that it was "total bullshit" that their method of disarming the bomb didn't work.

Narrative: An audiobook version of The Great Gatsby, read by ███ █████████.
Notes: Rather than the text which is read out being altered, as has happened with all other affected audiobooks, the alteration in this case happens with the introduction of new voices criticizing ███ and saying that they could read a book much better than her. ███ gives a startled exclamation and then calls out for security. This is followed by the sounds of a scuffle and cursing by ███, which is presumably ███ being forced out of the recording studio by the SCP-XXX-B. Once ███ can no longer be heard the SCP-XXX-B argue about who should do the reading for which parts of the book. The knowledge displayed by the SCP-XXX-B on the plot and characters of The Great Gatsby is riddled with errors.

Narrative: ███████, a book on typography and typesetting in narrative form. The book contains fictional characters who talk to the reader, describing and commenting upon the techniques which are used on the pages in which their dialogue appears.
Notes: After replacing the original characters, the skill displayed in the book's typography and typesetting immediately plummet. The SCP-XXX-B spend several pages discussing what they should do, and eventually come to agree that "we should do something original. You know, really shake up the field of bookology". The rest of the book consists of the SCP-XXX-B singing, telling jokes, and so on to provide text for them to typeset, occasionally interspersed with them admiring their own work. Among the typographic techniques used were:

  • Arranging the words on a page into a spiral.
  • Putting the page numbers in the center of the page, with the rest of the text flowing around them.
  • Using simple arithmetic equations for page numbers (the equations evaluated to the wrong page number 85% of the time)
  • For each sentence in a page, placing all the words on top of each other in order to "save space".

Narrative: Surf Zombies, a zombie-apocalypse film set on a beach.
Notes: The SCP-XXX-B target the zombies rather than the living humans, criticizing the way they shuffle and explaining how to moan better. As is usual for non-sapients, the zombies are unable to perceive them while they are in "criticism mode"; this does not deter SCP-XXX-B from talking to the zombies. After replacing the zombies, they realize with disgust that being zombies means that they would need to eat brains. They spend several minutes talking about what they should, when one of them remarks "hey, we don't have to breathe, right? So we could go scuba-diving without having to use scuba-gear". They then wade into the ocean. At this point the movie stops following them, and the rest of the movie consists of the humans wondering where all the zombies disappeared to.

Narrative: ████████, a short story about the last human living in a post-apocalyptic world.
Notes: Immediately upon the appearance the SCP-XXX-B, the main character says "Oh, God, not you idiots" and commits suicide with his gun. The SCP-XXX-B spend the rest of the narrative arguing about whose fault it is. This is notable for being the only instance where a sapient reacts to the SCP-XXX-B with anything other than irritation or annoyance, and the only instance where the reaction of a sapient to a "criticism mode" SCP-XXX-B causes a major change to the narrative.

Narrative: A Dick and Jane basal reader book
Notes: The text regarding the SCP-XXX-B is of the same form as the rest of the narrative. For example, "See Bob criticize. Criticize, Bob, criticize!"