kinker31's Sandbox of Stupidity


Here's a bunch of stories which are obviously made as a joke, and would probably never see the light of any actual SCP wiki.

Item #: Eleventy Billion

Object Class: Quintiple Ultra-Apollyonestest

Special Containment Procedures: Anyone who has vaugely heard of this SCP is to be exploded 50 times with atom bombs, then launched into the sun twice. Also, contaiment is irrelevant and impossible, and trying to contain it pisses it off even more than it already is.

Description: SCP-Eleventy Billion is a 1000↑↑↑1000 metric ton abomination that is made entirely out of [DATA IS A SPONGE]. It pukes anomalies so fast that somehow the entire footage describing it (Which was made for on reason at all. We were bored, what's your excuse?) was replaced with a dancing chicken and [DATA SPONGEBOBBED]. Also, once it breaks loose (which is about [Current Date + 3 days]), it's going to explode Earth about eleventy trillion times, and turn anything even vaguely happy into more instances of SCP-Eleventy Billion, along with [DATA GOT DRUNK AND DIED], as everyone in a 105 kilometer radius was told by the SCP itself in a black language that makes everyone's head [DATA PURPOSELY DELETED BECAUSE FUCK YOU] then reform again. It also spawns instances of SCP-682 about 300300 times per millisecond, but with wings and [DATA WAS EATEN]. Also, it pukes tubas over at Site-69 for no reason, and somehow those tubas become alive and start playing songs about incredibly bleak subject matters and [WE DIDN'T BOTHER WRITING THIS DOWN BECAUSE EVERYONE WHO WROTE ONE WORD OF THIS DIED HORRIBLY].

Addendum: [insert incredibly long speech about how humans are apparently giant dicks and should become selfish pricks that kill each other]
-Dr. Galt