Kritnich's Sandbox, no touchy, only looky
rating: 0+x
traffic_post

SCP-XXXX in the state it was found in at [REDACTED].

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a rectangular wooden box fitting its current size (80cm x 8cm x 8cm) in a warehouse at Site ██. Biologically male humans are permitted to interact with SCP-XXXX, but advised not to due to its nature. Default guarding procedures for SCP-XXXX's storage area are sufficient.

Description: SCP-XXXX appears to be a cylindrical, white and red striped post with a height of 75cm and radius of 3cm, the same as they can be commonly found in high-traffic areas to restrict vehicle access. As per usual procedure, it is mounted into an embedded slot into the pavement or ground and can be removed with the use of a triangular key at it's base. By looks and composition of it, it is in fact a common traffic post.

SCP-XXXX's uncommon behaviour triggers if a biologically male human views it. If the subject then moves into a 1m radius of it and loses sight of it, regardless of the distance or angle between the subject and SCP-XXXX, it will appear before the subject and cause them to directly hit it with their groin. Contact through this effect have been reported to be exceptionally painful, scoring 9 dols on average.

Camera footage shows that SCP-XXXX clearly and visibly, to anyone but the subject, teleports for a short distance to close the gap between it's starting position and target position before the subject. SCP-XXXX does not seem to differentiate between ages, though it has not been tested yet on children for ethical reasons. Subjects whose legs are higher than SCP-XXXX are not safe as it seems to simply extend its size to whatever height it requires for a direct hit.
Any sort of armor or padding used in an attempt to nullify or at least lessen the effect of SCP-XXXX has proven useless aswell as it seems to somehow bypass any and all matter between itself and the target (View addendum for experimentation transcripts).

Biologically female humans seem to have been completely immune to this effect.

Addendum:

From: Dr. K███████
To: All personnel
Timestamp: ██:██, 19th of ████████, ████
Subject: Consequences

Today at ██:██, a single Foundation employee thought it would be a "funny prank" to remove SCP-XXXX from it's containment and install it at the entrance to the [DATA EXPUNGED] at Site ██. 11 personnel, including myself, have been victim to SCP-XXXX's unpleasant effect until we finally viewed the surveillance footage. Mr. ███████ from the department for [REDACTED] has been terminated through the use of SCP-███ as per protocol for breaching SCP-XXXX's containment. Have a good day.

From: Dr. K███████
To: Dr. █████████
Timestamp: ██:██, 10th of ████████, ████
Subject: Regarding SCP-XXXX

I have dealt with some odd anomalies in my time with the Foundation but frankly, why this… But now it is luckily under your care. I feel a sort of empathy towards D-████ though, we had to [DATA EXPUNGED] afterwards to relieve his pain.