- Front Tab
- That One Guy
- Dapper
- Within
- Empty
- Anything is Possible
- Almost Eight
- Stoic
- Maker
- Tasty Marbles
- Monty
- Tongue bottle
- Consequences
- hairy
The page name makes sense, I promise.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a standard Humanoid containment cell. Guards are to be briefed on the nature of SCP-XXXX's anomalous effect, and are to be rotated weekly.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a male human with no conspicuous physical characteristics. Anomalous properties manifest when another human subject contacts, or is contacted by, SCP-XXXX in any way (including, but not limited to: direct conversation, conversation via telephone, or a written letter or e-mail message).
When contact is made, the timeline of the affected subject is instantaneously altered in such a way that SCP-XXXX becomes an integral part of their past experiences. The memories of any individuals directly affected by the alterations are edited accordingly, as are any records of the events in question. Most of the introduced memories portray SCP-XXXX as a figure with an intimate connection to the subject— generally a parental figure or a significant other. There have been no recorded instances of SCP-XXXX being portrayed in a negative or antagonistic manner by any affected subjects.
(interview logs:
interviewer: oh hey jeff
SCP-XXXX: yo
interviewer: blah
SCP-XXXX: blah)
(something about capturing him)
"Beer."
The barkeep's eyes didn't move from the patch of countertop he was lazily waxing as he replied to the simple request. "Gimme a sec."
He stuffed the tired rag he was using into his belt, and turned around to a row of taps plated with something that looked like silver. The man on the other side of the bar pulled absently on one of the drawstrings of his algae-green hoodie as he looked around.
The bar was small, but lavish. Presently, he sat comfortably atop a wooden stool with a red felt cushion, and his was one of six seats in a row underneath the counter, which could be mahogany if one didn't look too closely. A few wooden tables, each with no more than two chairs, were placed without much care for order in the area behind him. In front of him, the bartender was pouring his drink from one of the many taps lined up on the wall— presumably the most expensive booze option.
The bartender turned around. "Here you—" he paused, his mouth hanging slightly open. He squinted. "Hey, don't I know you?"
The man in the hoodie responded. "Do you?"
Bewilderment bloomed on the bartender's face. "Daniel?"
The man waited a moment.
The bartender continued. "It… it is you! I haven't seen you since '83!"
Images momentarily flooded the man's mind as the events cascaded into existence.
Meeting at a college party that smelled like sweat and heat and bringing him a drink.
Picking him up off the side of the road as he walked from work to campus in the pouring rain.
Helping him study on more occasions than either of them could remember.
Letting the hulk of a twenty-one year old cry into the man's shoulder after a bad breakup.
"It's me, K—"
"Kyle!" the man interrupted. He put on an expression of recognition. "Kyle Young!"
Kyle grinned broadly. "Put 'er there." He
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-1 through -8 are to be stored separately in eight standard Safe containment lockers. Each locker's passcode is to be changed weekly by Dr. Bennett.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a stylish three-piece suit that roughly conforms to the fashion standard of the late American 1960's. SCP-XXXX-1 through -8 denote each individual article of clothing that constitutes SCP-XXXX. There are no manufacturer's markings present on any part of SCP-XXXX.
When SCP-XXXX or any component of SCP-XXXX is referred to as an article of clothing (or, in the case of SCP-XXXX-10, a timekeeping device), the subject referring to it will be compelled to precede it with an appropriate, complimentary adjective. References in writing are anomalously edited to follow this trend.
Each piece of SCP-XXXX manifests a unique 'resistance' effect when placed on its corresponding appropriate portion of a living or nonliving humanoid object.
Note: When a sub-instance of SCP-XXXX prevents damage, only the physical harm that would have been inflicted to the wearer is blocked; excepting that lovely shirt, any pain that would have been caused is still felt by the subject. Further study into possible mind-altering aspects of SCP-XXXX is pending. -Dr. Bennett
Item | Description | Effect |
---|---|---|
SCP-XXXX-1 |
A snazzy black fedora. Comprised of cotton fiber. |
Grants complete immunity to all tested forms of memetic or telepathic influence. Also appears to render the wearer unable to experience panic. |
SCP-XXXX-2 |
A stylish red ascot, comprised of silk. |
The skin temperature of the wearer cannot drop below a certain value the wearer thinks of as 'comfortable' (generally in the vicinity of 20oC). Any clothing being worn simultaneously with SCP-XXXX-2 is subject to this effect, as well. |
SCP-XXXX-3 |
A simple, yet attractive, white cotton shirt. |
The wearer is rendered unable to experience pain. Other nervous system conventions are unaffected (thermal changes, pressure, etc.), but anything more than slight discomfort or physical irritation is not felt by the wearer. |
SCP-XXXX-4 |
A smart brown suit jacket, also cotton. |
All of the wearer's metabolic processes become able to function without requiring any apparent input except oxygen, and sustenance becomes unnecessary. Any matter ingested by the subject remains in the stomach, and does not continue along the gastro-intestinal tract. Any chemicals that would otherwise be harmful if consumed have no physical effect (excepting corrosive compounds). |
SCP-XXXX-5 |
A nice pair of brown chino pants, also cotton. |
The wearer's cells become capable of performing aerobic respiration in the complete absence of oxygen, and the alveoli of the lungs are placed in a state of suspended animation. Any chemical or pathogen that would otherwise be harmful if exposed to the lungs has no physical effect. |
SCP-XXXX-6 |
A delightful black leather dress shoe, complimentary to SCP-XXXX-7. |
Corrosive compounds or substances have no physical effect on the wearer or any other articles of clothing being worn simultaneously. |
SCP-XXXX-7 |
A sensible black leather shoe, complimentary to SCP-XXXX-6. |
When worn, the skin temperature of the wearer cannot rise above a certain value that the wearer thinks of as 'comfortable' (generally in the vicinity of 28oC). This effect extends to other articles of clothing being worn simultaneously. |
SCP-XXXX-8 |
A splendid black sock, made out of silk. Complimentary to SCP-XXXX-9. |
The particles composing the body of the wearer, as well as those of any clothing being worn simultaneously, cannot be separated from one another by any outside influence. Separation initiated by internal processes, however, is unimpeded. |
SCP-XXXX-9 |
An elegant black silken sock. Complimentary to SCP-XXXX-8. |
The basic anatomical geometry of the wearer cannot be altered by bending, stretching, or compressing body parts; moving joints farther than a human being's average capacity becomes impossible. Organs removed from the subject by slicing implements cease to be affected as soon as direct contact to the wearer of SCP-XXXX-9 is severed. |
SCP-XXXX-10 |
A beautiful mechanical pocket watch, made entirely out of gold. |
The wearer, as well as any articles of clothing being worn simultaneously, become immune only to degradation in constant, minute increments. Items and organisms under this effect are still subject to any other form of damage or injury; however, subtle 'natural' consequences the passage of time— most notably, the symptoms of physical aging in most lifeforms— is halted or prevented for the duration of possession of SCP-XXXX-10 on the subject's person. |
- - - AUDIO LOG BEGIN - - -
Testing, testing. Log: prelim. Current time is tee-minus fourteen to submersion. Preliminary setup is complete, and physical portion of PMB linkup has been completed without incident. I feel no more discomfort than projected, and all physical processes work normally. End log.
- - - AUDIO LOG END - - -
Agent Grant paused for a moment as the microphone was pulled away before he licked his lightly chapped lips, tasting the faintest suggestion of blood that raw skin conveys. Then, he waited.
He had been doing this since he'd woken up about an hour ago, and he wasn't the sort to mind waiting much. Grant was the kind that would be just as comfortable wading
When Jed Nichols was three, he bit his mother's finger. Hard.
Not knowing that he had already gummed his way to the beginnings of milk teeth, his mother gave a startled shout when he gnawed on her cuticle. Her outcry only served to worsen the situation: instead of opening his mouth and bawling, he rebelled against the panic instinct and bit down harder, drawing a meager teaspoon's worth of blood (which, gauging from her reaction, she saw as equivalent to the volume of the Atlantic ocean). At every family gathering after that, his mother never failed to amuse herself and her friends with the story of how her baby son 'nearly bit her goddamn finger off' that day. He never failed to feel mortified.
Eleven years later, he usurped the innate fear of rejection that afflicts many an adolescent by burying his face in a book as he asked a girl out for the first time. She accepted without so much as a trace of reluctance (he didn't know that, though— they hadn't made eye contact for more than twenty cumulative seconds before that, and wouldn't do so for more than a split second ever again), and after waiting at the park for fifteen minutes he told himself that she had accepted his offer simply out of pity, and had then forgotten about him completely.
She did come, ten minutes later, and waited twice as long as he did before stomping home with angry tears in her eyes.
Later that school year (but not the same age; he had proudly turned fifteen halfway through the third quarter), he met up with his friends at the usual gathering spot near the large oak tree at the corner of a sandlot not far from their homes. Two days before, one of the boys had gotten his hands on a half-filled bottle of ipecac. After verifying its effects on the human digestive system by giving some to his unfortunate little sister, he decided that it would be lovely fuel for the festivities of that week's meeting.
Sitting in a circle on the dusty ground, each poured themselves a laundry detergent cap sized shot and scraped a table in the grit to record how long they were able to control themselves. Jed, vying for a place of respect in the others' eyes, downed the remaining 10-ish fluid ounces in one go when the bottle made its way a third of the circle around to him. The others' complaining that he hogged the whole thing (despite the inner relief of those that didn't get the chance to go) was cut short as the drug took effect. It continued on for twenty minutes, and progressed to dry heaves after his stomach had been emptied of its contents.
None of the other boys showed up by the oak tree a week later. When Jed asked at school where they had all been, he learned that they had decided on a new spot that would remain undisclosed to Jed. They were the last large group of boys he was a part of for the rest of his high school life.
When he turned seventeen, he got his first car and promptly destroyed it after trying (unsuccessfully) to avoid a squirrel that had apparently decided to end it all by dashing into the street as he flew by at 70 miles per hour. The day he swerved into a tree also happened to be the day his mother chose to broach the subject of him getting his own place— or, to put it more artfully, "to stop leeching off her charity." She told him as much as he was recovering from three broken ribs (miraculously little damage) at St. Joseph Hospital.
At twenty-three, he tried his hand at romance second time with a girl that worked in the same office that he did. They hit it off over coffee, started wasting more and more time chatting by the water cooler, and eventually began to see each other. She moved in with him after seven months and a fair amount of mediocre intercourse (but improving; she gave him some credit for that).
He ran over her foot with his banged-up Volkswagen on an overcast Thursday morning, crushing every bone between her little toe and her achilles tendon. Another friend— a very close friend— of hers heard the news and was at the hospital 30 minutes after her ambulance arrived. Jed, feeling the call of nature, left the room, and after deciding that the urge wasn't as strong as it was while he was sitting, he returned to find them kissing passionately while the friend performed an amateur (but obviously well practiced) mutually enjoyable mammary exam.
Like number seventeen, his twenty-eighth birthday and the 48 hours following it was momentous. He was let off early (a small blessing from his manager), and after having a drink or seven with a few friends, he took a bump of something his friend had given him to help him drop off. Following this, he slept for five hours and shambled to work with a hangover of legendary caliber.
Getting to work, he was greeted with a drug test; a rule had taken effect that day, just as his manager had told the floor six mornings ago that it would, stating that working under the influence was strictly prohibited. Any possible rebels to this rule could be tested with no prior notice, and infringers would be subject to immediate job termination. The manager also made sure to jokingly remind everyone as they were leaving on the day before the drug test to "not get too coked up, aight?"
It was this day after his birth anniversary that Jed got what was his first (and last) lucky break during his time on Earth.
The manager, a stout woman (in more ways than one) with a habit of not sparing the switch on her four children, had recently received advice from a slightly more prosperous friend of hers to try vinegar instead of hydrochloric acid when doling out discipline. For about a week and a half prior to Jed's B-Day, she had been only verbally punishing her kids' misdeeds. The results were fantastic. It was because of the outcome of this experiment that she did nothing more than yell at Jed and revoke his next Christmas bonus.
[More crappy things that happened to Jed, causing him to eventually reach the point of no return. I feel like more stuff is necessary to justify suicide; I just haven't thought hard enough about it yet.]
It didn't hurt, in the end. Jed mentioned to his doctor offhand that he was having a bout of insomnia that didn't seem to be deterred by NyQuil; being a good man of medicine, his doctor looked into his client's history of drug use and, finding nothing concerning, prescribed him some temazepam. That, combined with a bottle and a half of scotch, depressed his cardiovascular system until it reached the same point that his mind had gotten to months ago and gave up.
His heart stopped at 10:22 P.M., and his body would have been undiscovered for a good amount of time had his neighbor not thought something was strange with Jed's lack of stomping around at five in the goddamn morning.
He had no living close relatives, and there was no ceremonial seeing-off for his journey to oblivion.
At least, oblivion was what he expected. What greeted him instead was a chair.
Jed looked at it for a moment, still half-asleep.
It wouldn't win any awards, but it wasn't a terrible chair by any means. Its arms were intact (mostly), the green upholstery on the seat was frayed slightly, and a chunk had been taken out of one of the top corners of the back rest— but otherwise, it looked usable. He remembered that he had once sat in a chair quite like that one, and it had been quite comfortable. In fact, that chair was incredibly like—
He started. His mother's reading chair resembled the one in front of him so closely it might as well have been a carbon copy.
"Yes, indeedy."
Jed whirled around. In front of him now was a mahogany desk. Behind that, dressed in a two-piece suit, was something Jed was fairly certain was a man. The uncertainty came from the fact that every time Jed's eyes focused on a portion of the man's face, the other features would blur and change. Jed blinked three times in quick succession, and the color of the man's right eye cycled from brown, to green, to blue, and back to brown.
Jed found his voice. "What?"
The man replied almost before Jed's mouth closed to form the 'T' sound. "That is, in fact, your mother's chair."
Jed took a moment to blink some more before replying. "My… what do you mean?"
The man behind the desk gave him a look of exasperation, then stood up with a lack of visible effort that sent a twinge of jealousy up Jed's solar plexus. "You heard me. The chair belonged to your mother. Or, to be more precise, still belongs to your mother."
Jed's eyebrows scrunched together as he struggled to grasp the situation. "But…"
The man continued. "Of course, 'belongs to' is a bit of an ambiguous concept when you're talking about quantum superposition."
Jed spoke up again. "But I thought—"
"That you died?" The man tilted his head forward and smiled. "You're not wrong."
"But where is this, then?"
The man turned to the side and began to pace. "This—" he waved an arm, indicating the room around them. "This is hell."
Jed's eyebrows scrunched again. "…Really?" He glanced at the uniform, snot-colored wallpaper around him. "This… This is the pit?"
The man swiveled to look at him again. "Well, not officially. I've had a good amount of time to think about where it is I am, and that's the conclusion I've reached."
"I wasn't a great person, in life. I'll admit it." The man shot Jed a sideways look. "It was damn fun, though. I won't get into the details, but I'll tell you that about three hundred thousand dollars that wasn't mine
"To the best of my knowledge, this is my penance for all the shitty, selfish decisions I made in my weak excuse for a life. I'm stuck here." He pointed at Jed. "You, though… For you, this is a crossroads. You get to keep going somewhere. Yay!"
The man's face lit up in a pained expression of joy. Jed got the feeling that the man was mocking him. "So… what? Are you the one that judges me worthy to get into Heaven or some shit? Or, I guess…" Jed glanced down at the brown carpet beneath his bare feet. He registered faintly that he was naked. "…Un-worthy?"
The man's face shifted into a patronizing smile. "If there is a God, friend-o, it's probably not the one that gives you a choice that clear-cut. Nah." The man extended an arm that was chocolate brown when it left his thigh and was Irish white by the time it was perpendicular to the floor. "That's your choice, right there."
Jed looked. To the man's left was a door that opened on what Jed could only imagine was a movie played in super fast motion.
- - - AUDIO LOG BEGIN - - -
//My best guess of when it hit is 2:30 in the afternoon. I don't know, though. For whatever reason, I didn't have any analog clocks in the house, and the last time I'd looked at the microwave clock was about an hour before the power outage.
I remember that I wanted to yell at some poor HR schmuck at the power company before I checked my phone and it gave me zero out of five bars. A power outage was one thing, but AT&T getting nuked at the same time couldn't have been a coincidence.
Yes, I'm fully aware of the irony in my choice of phrasing.
Anyway, people were beginning to panic. They were coming out of their houses and yelling to somebody, anybody, that their phone wasn't working. I remember my neighbor— I don't know their name, only that they lived in ████— came out and seemed to completely forget that her two kids (following her like ducks, as toddlers do) existed while she waved her phone around like a maniac to find a signal. Another guy I saw grabbed a ladder and climbed onto his roof. He looked like a pigeon when he squatted on his chimney.
Those two were extreme examples, though. The intelligent portion of the community still had their heads, and they were able to keep hysteria from breaking out. One guy, Josh schmuh-something-or-other, took control pretty quick— he got some guys to do a sweep of the area for any working source of power and/or phone signals, and he sent some other lucky bastards to go into town and touch base with the greater ██████████ community. I like to think that they heard through some grapevine what went down after they left, and they weren't too stupid to try to come back for their families.//
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard Safe Containment Locker at Site-██.
SCP-XXXX is to be kept within a standard Cognitohazard Containment Locker. The combination is to be changed every two days by Dr. Chidlow. Access to SCP-XXXX is prohibited except with the express permission of Dr. Chidlow. Any personnel subjected to SCP-XXXX's anomalous effect are to be administered Class-C amnestics if progression has not advanced to stage 2. Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are to be terminated, with no exceptions.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a Howard Miller wall clock of standard make and model whose hands appear to be stopped at eight o' clock. However, microscopic analysis of the hands shows the minute and second hand to be constantly approaching the twelve, and the hour hand approaching the eight. Each clock hand moves at a rate of one-half the distance remaining to an eight o' clock reading per hour.
Anomalous properties manifest when a live human attempts to read SCP-XXXX's face with the intention of knowing the current time. The affected individual will undergo an instantaneous mental restructuring pertaining to their ability to perceive time; specifically, the grouping of minutes into hours will become a completely alien concept. No other thought processes appear to be directly affected, and no physical changes have been observed in the brains of affected subjects. Research is ongoing.
The progression of SCP-XXXX's anomalous effect occurs in three stages.
Stage 1: Subjects will begin to denote the passage of time solely by counting the number of minutes passed after first affected by SCP-XXXX with flawless accuracy. When questioned on the topic, all subjects unanimously argue this method to be easier and more precise.
Stage 2: Anywhere from twenty to thirty hours following initial exposure, affected individuals begin to display limited probability-altering capabilities and are reclassified as an instance of SCP-XXXX-1. Any undesirable event (from the perspective of SCP-XXXX-1) that can be anticipated is subject to 'postponement'- random occurrences in the vicinity of the future event that cause its occurrence to be set back by variable lengths of time. At this stage, subjects do not appear to initiate or influence these events consciously. From this point onward, the relative length of each postponement event increases gradually until stage 3.
Stage 3: Approximately forty-two hours after initial exposure, instances of SCP-XXXX-1 gain limited reality-bending capabilities. When confronted with an undesirable task or occurrence, instances of SCP-XXXX-1 alter reality to 'postpone' it. Ten to twelve hours after the development of reality-bending abilities, instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are able to repeatedly 'postpone' events for an indefinite amount of time.
Test Log XXXX-1
Subject: D-1852
Supervising Researcher: Dr. Chidlow
Procedure: D-1852 is fitted with a shock collar set to deliver a non-lethal electrical shock once every thirty minutes. Time since initial exposure: 24 hours.
Results: D-1852 was administered two shocks over the course of one hour. The collar failed to deliver the third shock at the appropriate time; fifteen seconds after replacement, the collar briefly activated twice due to a circuitry malfunction.
Test Log XXXX-2
Subject: D-1852
Supervising Researcher: Dr. Chidlow
Procedure: Prior to test, D-1852 is told that the upcoming test is a meeting with Foundation superiors to discuss release from custody with an indeterminate period of probation. D-1852 is fitted with a new shock collar set to deliver a shock every twenty seconds. Time since initial exposure: thirty-three hours.
Results: After one shock, the collar ceased functioning. While transporting a replacement collar from storage to the testing chamber, Junior Researcher ████ tripped and fell on top of it, rendering the collar inoperable. D-1852 terminated shortly afterwards via gunshot.
Test Log XXXX-3
Subjects: D-5524, D-1242
Supervising Researcher: Dr. Chidlow
Procedure: Prior to exposure, D-5524 is given a slow-acting toxin in their morning meal designed to induce the development of brain aneurysms over the course of 72 hours.
Testing chamber is equipped with a standard folding chair. D-5524 is instructed to sit, and they comply. D-1242 is given a pistol loaded with rubber bullets, and both are told that it is loaded with standard rounds. D-1242 is instructed to point the gun at D-5524. Time since initial exposure: 70 hours. Note: By this point, D-5524 appears to have a near-complete understanding of the abilities imparted by exposure to SCP-XXXX.
Results: See Audio Log XXXX-1.
AUDIO LOG XXXX-1
- - - BEGIN LOG - - -
(D-1242 points the gun towards D-5524's head.)
D-5524: I wouldn't do that.
D-1242: Shut up.D-5524: Go ahead, pal. Try.
D-1242: You know what? I'd fuckin' love to, man. They said if you try to move out of that chair, I get to blow your head off.
D-5524: Really? So if I move, you'll shoot me in the head?
D-1242: Yep, so you better st-
D-5524: Okay.
(D-5524 stands up, and D-1242 cries out and drops the gun. D-1242 cradles their right hand in their left.)
(Note: Postmortem examination revealed a torn ligament in the right index finger of D-1242.)
D-1242: My fuckin' hand!
D-5524: Looks like you pulled somethin' there, champ.
D-1242: What the fuck did you do?
D-5524: I didn't do anything. You just have to stretch more before using those fingers, bud.
D-1242: What the fuck did you do, man?!
D-5524: Your breathing.
D-1242: …what?
D-5524: Your. Breathing.
D-5524: It's aggravating.
D-1242: The fuck you on about, man?
D-5524: Stop it.
D-1242: Stop what? Wh…
(D-1242 clutches their throat, apparently unable to breathe. D-5524 faces the camera.)
D-5524: This is, uh, quite a facility you got here, folks. To my understanding, you built it to hold oddities like me— well, me now— in check.
(D-1242 collapses.)
I'm not sure how powerful the shit kept in here is, but I'd guess that it's strong enough to warrant needing a pretty good power source.
(D-5524 glances at the floor of the testing chamber, then looks back at the camera.)
D-5524: Something nuclear, maybe.
D-5524: Anyway. Come to think of it, it's kinda… chilly in here. Hm. It would be great if you guys turned up the temperature.
D-5524: Actually, you know what would be awesome? If the cooling systems were just turned off. All of them.
D-5524: I don't think that the next reactor coolant cycle is really necess-
(D-5524 pauses, then their knees buckle. Postmortem examination confirms the cause of death to be the rupturing of one of five developing brain aneurysms.)
(A diagnostic check of Site-██'s nuclear reactor core revealed a minor flaw in one of the cooling vents. It was promptly repaired.)
Further testing on the long-term progression of SCP-XXXX's effect is halted indefinitely. -Dr. Chidlow
Retrieval log XXXX: Reports of localized temporal oddities were received from a small neighborhood in ██████, Germany. After capturing numerous instances of SCP-XXXX-1, Foundation intelligence ascertained the █████████ family to be a shared acquaintance with them all, and initiated standard procedure for containment of an inadvertent reality bender.
Prior to retrieval, Foundation intelligence initiated contact via email with Mrs. █████████ on █/██/██ under the guise of a fictitious financial aid service. A visit from a 'representative' was arranged for the manufactured purpose of conducting a house survey.
On █/█/██, Agent ██████ posed as the 'representative' and entered the household. All occupants were administered tranquilizer and retrieved. During retreival, Agent ██████ was affected by SCP-XXXX, and was interviewed shortly before being given class-C amnestics.
INTERVIEW LOG XXXX-1
Interviewed: Agent ██████
Interviewer: Dr. Chidlow- - - BEGIN LOG - - -
Agent ██████: …know that-
Dr. Chidlow: Wait until I turn on the recording device, please.
Agent ██████: My bad.
Dr. Chidlow: All right. Go ahead.
(Agent ██████ clears his throat.)
Agent ██████: So, I didn't know what it was, first off. The briefing told me to handle this like one of them was an unconscious reality bender- keep it light, be friendly all around, you know. Don't give 'em a reason to want to will you off of this plane of existence.
Agent ██████: I walked up to the house, rang the doorbell, and Mrs. ███████████ answered the door. She let me in and we made small talk in the foyer.
Agent ██████: While she was showing me around, I looked up at the scip and something in my head… shifted. I can't put it into words, exactly. It was like there was a big cube or something in my mind, and someone rotated it ninety degrees.
Dr. Chidlow: Most afflicted subjects don't seem to notice the change unless it's pointed out. Were you aware of the mental restructuring as soon as it occurred?
Agent ██████: I was, but I think I get how you could miss it. It felt so… so seamless, like I had been thinking that way my entire life. Every memory I had of someone referring to a sixty-minute length of time seemed— still seems— fake.
Agent ██████: I'd be willing to bet that the only reason I noticed it was because I was briefed on the effect.
Dr. Chidlow: That will be all. Proceed to the room out that door to be administered amn-
- - - END LOG - - -
SCP-XXXX was retrieved from the household of the █████████ family, at the time consisting of an infant, an eight year old, a wife, and an absent husband. Upon retrieval, Mrs. █████████ was found to be contaminated by SCP-XXXX, which was hanging above the dining room table. A post-it note was found on the back, reading:
Be home by eight my ASS. I set the curfew in this household, not you, ██████.
Mrs. █████████ identified it as her husband's handwriting. According to Mrs. █████████, Mr. █████████ had not been in the household for 130,727 minutes (approximately three months).
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is allowed free roam of Site-██ under supervision of at least one security personnel. SCP-XXXX is to report to the office of on-site psychologist Dr. Muntz for counseling once per week.
Description: SCP-XXXX is physically a non-anomalous, slightly obese human male of average height with no notable aberrations in either facial or bodily features. It is estimated to be 7 years old. Upon retrieval, SCP-XXXX was diagnosed with depersonalization disorder (see Addendum XXXX-A).
Surrounding SCP-XXXX is an undetectable field (see Addendum XXXX-C), dubbed SCP-XXXX-1, with an approximate range of 2.6 meters. Any living entities (barring SCP-XXXX itself) that enter the field temporarily lose the capability to experience emotion of any kind. Exiting SCP-XXXX-1 causes the effect to cease.
SCP-XXXX was recovered in Warsaw, Poland, following a slew of intermittent psychopathy cases at █████ elementary school.
Addendum XXXX-A
After only a cursory examination, it was easy to conclude that this boy is suffering from a mental disorder- I would hazard to guess that a more thorough would indicate depersonalization disorder. I suspect it is not directly caused by the field- rather, it is a result of not being exposed to emotions for a prolonged period of time. -Dr. Muntz
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: As of █/██/████, SCP-XXXX is not accessible to any Foundation personnel below O5 level clearance.
SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a maximum security locker at site-█ and guarded at all times by at least three security personnel, rotated bi-weekly.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a standard iron monkey wrench. Inscribed on the handle is an incomplete phrase, reading: "For emulating the function of [illegible]". SCP-XXXX possesses no physical or chemical aberrations.
Anomalous properties manifest when SCP-XXXX comes into physical contact with any man-made tool that serves a specific purpose. When this occurs, the tool is imbued with the ability to independently perform the task that it is meant to do1 (See Testing Log for details), creating an instance of SCP-XXXX-1.
SCP-XXXX was discovered in the home of the late Joshua ██████. Reports of a scooter propelling itself through a side window and continuing to move in a straight line through the air prompted investigation by local police forces; upon searching the house, entrails genetically matching Mr. ██████ were found near a sock with the words 'for turning things inside-out' written on it in black marker.
Testing Log
Test XXXX-A
Supervisor: Dr. S███████
Purpose: Control test.
Procedure: SCP-XXXX is introduced to a flathead screwdriver.
Results: No initial reaction from SCP-XXXX or the tool. Tool was propelled by an unseen force out of Dr. S███████'s hand upon entering close proximity of an apparently loose screw in one of the measuring apparatus. The instance of SCP-XXXX-1 then tightened said loose screw.Test XXXX-B
Supervisor: Dr. S███████
Purpose: Exploration of textual modification of 'purpose'.
Procedure: The words "to tighten screws" are carved on the head of a standard air hammer. SCP-XXXX is introduced to the tool.
Results: Upon introduction to a Phillips-head screw partially unscrewed from a corresponding hole, a corner of SCP-XXXX-1's head changed shape to emulate the function of a Philips-head screwdriver. SCP-XXXX-1 then tightened the screw.Test XXXX-C
Supervisor: Dr. S███████
Purpose: Exploration of textual modification of 'purpose'.
Procedure: Testing chamber outfitted with two high-precision robotic arms and a plexiglass viewing window.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard storage locker on Site-██ with the lid screwed on at all times. Personnel are to obtain permission from a Level 2 researcher assigned to the object prior to conducting experiments.
Description: SCP-XXXX is visually and chemically identical to a non-anomalous 4.54 liter glass jar nearly completely filled with standard (2.54 cm. diameter) marbles. No manufacturer or designer marks are present. No anomalous properties have been observed in marbles separated from SCP-XXXX.
SCP-XXXX can be emptied with little effort. However, while unobserved SCP-XXXX refills its internal supply of marbles (exact number of marbles varies with every refill, with an average of 750). Research is being conducted on this phenomenon.
Secondary anomalous properties manifest when SCP-XXXX's lid is removed and a conscious human subject is introduced into the line of sight of the object. SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties do not appear to transmit through visual media. If more than one human is introduced to SCP-XXXX's, only the person closest to the object will be affected (see Testing Log A). Subject will initially show no reaction to SCP-XXXX beyond normal behavior, but after approximately 15 seconds (exact time varies dependent on subject's distance from SCP-XXXX) the object gradually begins to dominate subject's attention. After a varying period of time (anywhere from 30 seconds to 2 minutes), subject will be nearly unresponsive to outside stimuli, instead focusing all attention on SCP-XXXX.
Following captivation, subjects will be compelled insert marbles contained within SCP-XXXX into their mouth. Beginning with only one marble at a time, subjects forcibly insert larger quantities of marbles into their mouth and hold them there with apparent relish (Note: Subject does not voluntarily ingest any of the marbles, apparently preferring to keep them held inside the cheeks). As more marbles are inserted into the mouth, apparent euphoria will increase to the point that the subject exhibits the mental capacity and behavior of an excited toddler when subject's mouth is filled to capacity. To date, no subjects have induced self-harm attempting to insert more marbles into their own mouth (see Test Log D) than is possible without injury. Subjects will invariably choke on one or more marbles during the final phase, and will expire due to asphyxiation without intervention.
If a subject's progression to reduced mental state is interrupted at any time, subjects generally express embarrassment for their actions. Following full progression of events (ending with medical intervention to remove tracheal blockage), subjects regain full mental capacity, including all memories of their actions while under the effects of SCP-XXXX. Subjects usually attempt to formulate a viable cover story for their behavior at this stage, presumably in an attempt to maintain their pride.
Test Log A - █/██/████
Subject: D-1208
Purpose: Baseline test.
Procedure: SCP-XXXX placed on a table in center of testing chamber with lid screwed on prior to introduction of D-Class. Medical personnel on standby.
Log:
0:00: D-1208 introduced into testing chamber with SCP-XXXX.
0:06: D-1208 takes notice of SCP-XXXX.
0:07: D-1208 is instructed to remove lid of SCP-XXXX.
0:10: D-1208 removes lid from SCP-XXXX.
0:14: D-1208 removes one marble from SCP-XXXX and inserts it into their mouth, apparently finding the action deeply satisfying.
0:16: D-1208 suddenly begins to take handfuls of marbles from SCP-XXXX and insert them into their mouth.
0:24: D-1208 lifts SCP-XXXX and upends it over their already-filled open mouth.
Note: Subject at this point has degraded to high-pitched squeals of what appears to be enjoyment.
0:29: D-1208 freezes in place in conjunction with an abrupt termination of vocalizations. Subject subsequently gestures frantically at their throat.
0:32: Medical personnel intervene to prevent subject asphyxiation.
Test Log B: ██/██/████
Subject: D-1208
Purpose: To determine whether or not knowledge of SCP-XXXX's effects have any impact on subject's response.
Procedure: Identical to test A.
Log:
[SUPERFLUOUS LOG REDACTED]
Results: Subject acted in a manner consistent with Test A, with the exception of the fact that progression from initial exposure to full onset of SCP-XXXX's effect happened notably more quickly.
Conclusion: It appears that previous exposure to the artifact induces a sort of 'relapse' effect. Further testing scheduled. -Dr. S███████.Test Log C: ██/██/████
Subject: D-3261
Purpose: To determine what effects individuals killed by SCP-XXXX exhibit.
Procedure: Identical to test A; however, medical personnel are told to withhold assistance of D-Class.
Log:
0:00-00:28: Events progress in a manner similar to Test A.
0:28: D-3261 begins to show outward signs of asphyxiation.
0:43: D-3261 ceases movement.
Note: at no point while D-3261 was conscious did they attempt to release the marbles from her mouth.
0:43-24:00: Corpse of D-3261 shows no outward anomalous properties. Cadaver retrieved, analysis confirms no anomalous properties.Test Log D: ██/██/████
Subject: D-5815, D-1025
Purpose: To determine what effects SCP-XXXX have on multiple subjects simultaneously.
Procedure: Two D-Class personnel introduced into SCP-XXXX testing chamber with medical personnel on standby.
Log:
0:00: D-5815 and D-1025 introduced to SCP-XXXX.
0:06: D-1025 unscrews lid at prompting of Research Assistant W█████.
0:09: Both D-1025 and D-5185 take a marked interest in SCP-XXXX.
0:11: D-1025 begins inserting marbles into their mouth. D-5815 follows suit.
0:15: Both D-Class begin inserting large quantities of marbles into their mouths.
0:18: D-1025 picks up SCP-XXXX. D-5815 appears distressed by this action, and attempts to forcefully confiscate SCP-XXXX from D-1025. D-1025 removes a handful of marbles from SCP-XXXX and proceeds to [DATA EXPUNGED].
Conclusion: Following the excision of D-1025's hand from D-5815's throat cavity, D-1025 expressed revulsion to their act of [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-XXXX remained undamaged for the duration of the test, despite being subjected to [DATA EXPUNGED].
Note: Under no circumstances are two or more personnel to handle SCP-XXXX simultaneously. -Dr. S███████
Item Number: SCP-XXXX
Item Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-1 is to be held in a standard humanoid containment cell, modified such that the only exit to the cell is a double set of steel doors arranged in a standard airlock configuration (one door cannot open while the other is not completely closed).
SCP-XXXX-1's rations are to be delivered in bulk packages large enough to last a human of its' size and weight two (2) months.
SCP-XXXX-1 is currently under the duress that its anomalous properties consist only of an abnormal and incredibly rare form of narcolepsy, and that it is under study by the U.S. government. It is to be regularly reassured that it will be returned to its family in 'a few days' to ensure further cooperation.
No devices used to record the passage of time are to be permitted in SCP-XXXX-1's cell without permission from a level 3 researcher.
A small atomic clock has been implanted in SCP-XXXX-1's right thigh for the purpose of measuring SCP-XXXX's subjective time. The clock is equipped with a radio transponder able to transmit the amount of time elapsed since it was implanted in order to facilitate measuring SCP-XXXX's subjective time without the need to surgically remove the device.
Description: SCP-XXXX-1 is visually and mentally identical to one deceased M█████ S███████; a 5"4 caucasian male with green eyes and black hair, 28 at the time of death. SCP-XXXX-1 possesses the personality and a set of memories consistent with his documented experiences, verified by written records and interviews with the deceased's close family. However, SCP-XXXX's genetic sequence has only 35% similarity with an average human's genetic code- instead, it more closely resembles a previously-unknown subspecies of [REDACTED]. In addition, SCP-XXXX-1's memory span seems to be limited to a maximum period of approximately 48 hours. SCP-XXXX also possesses several organs not found in humans, including:
- Two (2) extra lungs (consistent with [REDACTED])
- One (1) extra kidney, slightly smaller than the standard organ (also consistent with [REDACTED]
- A large percentage of the hippocampus replaced with a previously undiscovered configuration of neurons; anomalous properties manifest despite suppression of said area; however, SCP-XXXX-1 appears to be able to recollect its sleeping experiences while the area is suppressed
- An organ vaguely resembling a combination of a section of small intestine and a [REDACTED], located at the base of the spine (Note: exploratory surgery of this organ is strictly prohibited following incident XXXX-a)
Each superfluous organ, barring what has been dubbed the 'temporal sac', is connected to the body's vascular system via a network of blood vessels, presumably to prevent necrosis. The temporal sac is connected directly to the brain via a clear tube made from cartilage.
SCP-XXXX is theorized to either be or reside inside of the subconscious of SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX apparently possesses the ability to create a localized field (see testing log) halt the passage of time for all matter and energy in the observable universe, excluding SCP-XXXX-1 and a small area around it. SCP-XXXX appears to be only able to exercise its ability only when SCP-XXXX-1 reaches a certain state of unconsciousness.
SCP-XXXX is completely aware even during the 'inactive' phase (during which SCP-XXXX-1 is fully conscious), and is able to exert a limited amount of control over SCP-XXXX-1 in this state. Usually SCP-XXXX influences SCP-XXXX-1's actions with the apparent goal to incapacitate SCP-XXXX-1 to the point of losing consciousness. Upon either accomplishing this or SCP-XXXX-1 falling asleep normally, SCP-XXXX will become active and utilize SCP-XXXX-1 to cause any action that could be categorized as 'mischief'- the exact nature of the actions of SCP-XXXX vary depending on the situation (See testing log). SCP-XXXX appears to be unable to stay in control of SCP-XXXX-1 for more than 8 consecutive hours (subjective to SCP-XXXX-1).
SCP-XXXX's existence became known to the foundation after a slew of reports from ██████-████, Ukraine detailed the activities of a vandal that could apparently 'enter and leave buildings faster than the eye could blink'. A containment team was dispatched, and after two failed attempts at capturing SCP-XXXX-1 (once because sedatives were used to subdue the entity, the other due to what was presumed to be SCP-XXXX influencing SCP-XXXX-1 to trip and hit its head against a table corner), SCP-XXXX-1 was subdued by paralytics and brought into foundation custody, following which current containment procedures were established.
Testing Log
Test 1 - ██/█/████
Procedure: SCP-XXXX-1 introduced to a testing chamber equipped with a standard bunk, a standard security camera in the upper-south-eastern corner, and two hidden cameras in the eastern and northern walls. SCP-XXXX-1 is provided with a sleeping pill, in addition to a requested cup of water.
0:16: SCP-XXXX-1 ingests sleeping pill, along with a small quantity of water.
0:25: SCP-XXXX-1 lies down on the bunk.
0:31: Various changes to the room occur instantaneously. The security camera's vision is obscured by what later analysis confirms to be feces. In addition, the disposable paper cup provided to SCP-XXXX-1 at the beginning of the test is seen perched on SCP-XXXX-1's head, folded into a crude origami fist with the middle finger outstretched. The bunk is seen leaning vertically against the southern wall with the bottom facing the middle of the room. SCP-XXXX-1 can be seen hanging off of one of the upper legs of the bunk by the back of its' shirt collar, apparently asleep.
0:34: SCP-XXXX-1 awakens and immediately expresses surprise at his new position.
Notes: When questioned on the incident, SCP-XXXX-1 said that he sometimes had night terrors and sleepwalking was common for it, but never had a change as abrupt as this. The current working theory is that SCP-XXXX does not wish its existence to be known by SCP-XXXX-1. -Dr S███████
Atomic Clock reading: 3 hours, 26 minutes
Test 2 - ██/██/████
Procedure: SCP-XXXX-1 and D-10582 are introduced to a testing chamber furnished with two plain wooden chairs facing a small, wooden table. SCP-XXXX-1 is provided with a sleeping pill, a cup of water, and a single tube of ████ brand super glue.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be housed in a standard item locker at site-██. Requests to perform tests on SCP-XXXX are to be directed to Dr. S███████.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a glass soda bottle marked with a label denoting it as '████-██████', produced by the █████ manufacturing company. SCP-XXXX is virtually indistinguishable from any non-anomalous soda produced by █████, barring its anomalous effects.
When SCP-XXXX comes into contact with any skin surface of a conscious human subject, the subject will become compelled to raise the open end of the object to their mouth, regardless of whether or not liquid is present within SCP-XXXX. Subjects will then close their lips fully over the lip of the bottle and form a weak vacuum using their facial musculature. Upon achieving negative pressure inside the bottle, subjects will use their tongue to plug the end of the bottle.
Immediately following this, subjects begin to express unease, usually accompanied by comments indicating panic and confusion. Subjects then apparently lose control of their jaw, and a force capable of an output exceeding 3,000 newtons forces them to bite down on their tongue. At this stage, the bottle becomes impossible to remove without also removing the tongue of the subject.
Upon the complete severance of the tongue, the bottle disappears and reappears on the nearest flat surface, containing the extracted tongue and approx. 240 ml of █████ brand soda. Over the course of 2 hours, the tongue will dissolve by unknown means. Chemical analysis of the soda following and during the breakdown of the tongue reveals no anomalies, nor any traces of the tongue in question following dissolution.
At this point, SCP-XXXX's secondary anomalous property manifests. The tongue stump of the subject undergoing the removal process will begin to secrete the exact fluid substance (see test log) contained within the bottle at the time of the removal event.
Subjects with no tongue or are missing the physical facial structures required to create a weak vacuum are completely unaffected.
Test A
Subjects: D-1934
Procedure: SCP-XXXX is placed on a table in the middle of the testing chamber, filled roughly 30% with standard tap water. D-1934 is instructed to take a drink from SCP-XXXX.
Results: Experiment proceeded as expected. D-1934 treated for minor blood loss and terminated on schedule.
Notes: Control test.
Test B
Subjects: D-10185
Procedure: Identical to Test A, but SCP-XXXX is empty.
Results: Identical to Test A.
Test C
Subjects: D-4662
Procedure: Identical to test B, but D-4662 is equipped with two pairs of titanium braces fitted to molars and canines to prevent teeth coming closer than 1.5 cm to closing completely.
Results: Following the achievement of a vacuum, D-4662 began screaming, complaining of massive pain in his mouth. After 2 seconds, D-4662's molars and canines shattered from massive stress, and the tongue was severed.
Notes: Well, it has some aspect that definitely ISN'T memetic. -Dr. S███████
Test D
Subjects: D-19583
Procedure: SCP-XXXX is placed on a table in the center of the testing chamber, fitted with a titanium cage and a cap specifically designed to bar access to the open end of the object.
Results: D-19583 picked up SCP-XXXX and immediately began to chew on the titanum cap. After 38 seconds, D-19583 had pried the cap and the cage beams holding it in place off of the open end enough to form a vacuum seal and insert her tongue. Test proceeded normally following this.
Notes: Apparently, the object has the ability to selectively enable extra fortitude in subjects- that D-class's teeth should have cracked the first time she tried to bite the cap out of place. Further testing requested.
Test E
Subjects: Assistant Researcher James
Procedure: Unauthorized test. Assistant Researcher Kembel removed SCP-XXXX from storage on ██/█/██ (wearing latex gloves from a recently completed autopsy on an unrelated D-class), apparently with the intention of playing a prank on Assistant Researcher James.
Result: Assistant Researcher Kembel filled SCP-XXXX with urine and left it on Assistant Researcher James' desk. Security footage shows Assistant Researcher James entering his office and looking at the bottle on his desk while shaking his head, presumably realizing what the bottle's contents were. Upon coming into contact with the bottle, he underwent the tongue removal process and was rushed to an infirmary. One hour into recovery, his mouth began to fill with urine. Chemical analysis of the urine revealed it to be identical to Assistant Researcher Kembel's.
Notes: Assistant Researcher James has been given a month of medical leave to adjust to his new… condition. Assistant Researcher Kembel- or should I say Janitor Kembel- has been severely reprimanded, and she has kindly funded Assistant Researcher James' surgeries to completely remove his sense of smell and what few taste buds he has left. This is why we always read the containment procedures of ALL on-site artifacts, people. If James or Kembel had even skimmed over XXXX's file, Assistant Researcher James wouldn't have to live with pee in his mouth until he dies. -Dr. S███████
Test F
Subjects: D-27165
Procedure: Identical to test B, but SCP-XXXX contains a cylinder of graphite.
Results: D-27165 undergoes removal process and receives medical treatment. Two hours elapse before D-27165 complains of a hard object affixed to his stump. Upon closer inspection, a block of graphite shaped to approximate the missing portion of tongue is affixed to the stump. Chemical analysis reveals no abnormalities, save for a thin layer of biological tissue between the tongue of the D-class and the graphite that exhibits properties of graphite and living tissue. D-class showed no abnormalities (excepting complete immunity to graphite poisoning) for a week, and was terminated on schedule.
Notes: We could be on to something here. If we can harvest the cells on the end of the subject's stump as they form, we could have an essentially limitless supply of living tongue tissue that exhibits the properties of any material we want, with the producer being immune to its effects. There has to be SOME way to use that to our advantage. -Dr. S███████
Test G
Subjects: D-2819
Procedure: Identical to test B, but SCP-XXXX contains a cylinder of SCP-409 and the testing chamber floor and walls are replaced with granite.
Results: D-2819 underwent tongue removal and was treated for blood loss. Two hours after exposure, D-2819 complained of pain in his tongue stump. Observation revealed that SCP-409 had begun to spread throughout the mouth, and D-2819 was immediately terminated. Containment was successfully reestablished without incident.
Notes: It was worth a try. -Dr. S███████
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Constant surveillance on the village of ███████, Brazil and all of its inhabitants (with special emphasis on any individuals or groups claiming to possess any form of precognition) is to be conducted in order to ensure that an outbreak can be detected and halted as quickly as possible. If containment of SCP-XXXX in ███████ is breached, execution of procedure Lambda-138 is authorized.
Any and all non-Foundation documents suspected to contain information concerning SCP-XXXX are to be treated with extreme caution and destroyed.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a contagious phenomenon that affects individuals in five distinct stages:
Stage 0: Dubbed the 'incubation' phase. Following contraction, individuals display no outward signs of infection. However, they remain a vector of transmission for SCP-XXXX even in this phase. SCP-XXXX's progression to stage 1 is halted indefinitely until it is triggered by a specific phrase: [DATA EXPUNGED].
Stage 1: Affected persons experience an anomalous increase in hindsight: upon making any decision that has a noticeable impact on their life in the short-term2, subjects gain the knowledge of all significant consequences of said action (with a slight time delay), ignoring any distance barriers between them and where the consequence occurs. Subjects generally experience an increase in forethought and strategic thinking, although this is presumed to be a non-anomalous side effect.
Stage 2: Subjects begin to perceive the consequences of more trivial decisions they make throughout the day in real time. Affected individuals will undergo a massive increase in caution and forethought, as well as preoccupation with the effects of insignificant actions3. Subjects at this stage tend to experience a short period of unwillingness to make any decisions whatsoever, before apparently realizing that choosing not to decide is, in itself, making a decision. Following this, roughly ██% of subjects degrade to incoherence.
Stage 3: Subjects that are able to retain their sanity until stage three gain the ability to predict, with perfect accuracy, the future consequences of their actions before they occur (Note: Subjects appear to be unable to consciously filter the images they perceive in any way). At this stage, subjects tend to focus almost completely on the negative outcomes of their actions. Affected individuals experience strong feelings of guilt based on consequences they are, at most, tangentially involved in bringing about. Subjects generally develop strong suicidal tendencies, and suicide attempts are almost uniformly successful (presumably due to the precognitive abilities of affected individuals).
Stage 4: To date, no infected subjects have been able to progress to stage four without being restrained in some way to prevent self-termination. At the beginning of stage four, an affected subject enters a catatonic state for up to four hours before awakening suddenly. Immediately after awakening, subjects uniformly adopt a calm, positive outlook. Subjects at this stage are almost completely cooperative, and have demonstrated through testing the ability to predict with impeccable accuracy the results of any event from a simple dice roll to the random generation of a 16-digit hexadecimal number. Subjects only refuse to share the details of events that concern the Foundation, events that concern the welfare of the general populace as a whole, the outcomes of current (and future) 'important'4 world events, or any information whatsoever relating to events occurring after the year ████. Persuasion techniques, hypnosis, and [REDACTED] have been unsuccessful in forcefully extracting information from stage 4 subjects thus far.
On average, subjects take 2 weeks to progress from one stage to the next. However, the amount of time can vary greatly, with the quickest recorded advancement from stage 1 to stage 2 being three days, and the lengthiest being 37 days.
SCP-XXXX is transmitted through conversation with an infected individual lasting longer than roughly 25 minutes, or any piece of writing longer than approximately 200 characters created by the infected individual personally.5
Infection does not occur unless the receiving individual is fluent in the same language as the infected individual. This language barrier carries through writing.
Amnestics of any caliber have no effect on the progression of SCP-XXXX.
Interview Log XXXX-1
Interviewee: D-1442
Interviewer: Dr. S███████
D-1442 had progressed to stage 3 at the time of interviewing.Begin dialogue
Dr. S███████: Hello, D-1442.
D-1442: Hey.
Dr. S███████: I'm going to ask you a couple questions. Try to answer them as truthfully as possible.
D-1442: Alright.
Dr. S███████: What is your full birth name?
D-1442: ██████ ████ █████████.
Superfluous log redacted for brevity.
Dr. S███████: Well, now that we have the baseline stuff covered, let's get to your… condition.
D-1442: Fine.
Dr. S███████: What exactly did you feel when you were first infected?
D-1442: Do you mean when I talked to that depressed guy or when I first started to know that everything that I did was wrong?
Dr. S███████: The latter, please.
D-1442: The what, now?
Dr. S███████: When you first felt that-
D-1442: Oh yeah, okay. Yeah.
D-1442: It wasn't really that bad at first. I'd do something, and a few minutes after I did it I knew exactly what I… did, you know?
Dr. S███████: Go on.
D-1442: But then I started seeing stuff that didn't really relate to me. Stuff that I didn't need to know. Stuff that I didn't even wanna know.
Dr. S███████: Such as?
D-1442: 'Such as', doctor, all of the things that I did. All of the stuff that I made happen.
D-1442: That was about when I began to figure out something.
Dr. S███████: What was that, D-1442?
D-1442: At first, I saw mostly good stuff. I'd do a thing, and most of the time it would do some good. When I first started seeing the bad stuff, I thought it had to do with whatever the hell you put in me a few weeks ago.
D-1442 ceases speaking for a few seconds.
Dr. S███████: But then?
D-1442: When you see all the stuff that's going on in your little bubble of things that you personally gotta worry about, things seem pretty great. But then, if you look just outside it and see all the shit you're doing to everyone who isn't in your little happy bubble…
D-1442: I don't think me seeing all the shit that I've caused has anything to do with the thing that's in me.
D-1442: I think that there's just way more bad stuff that you do to people outside your bubble than you realize.
D-1442: Sure, you can tell yourself that you're doing good. You can tell yourself anything you [EXPLETIVE] want. But that doesn't change the fact that no matter what you do, you're gonna ultimately screw someone over.
D-1442: That's why I see what I do all day now. Because the more I zoom out from my little island, the smaller it looks in the middle of the damn ocean.
D-1442: And lemme tell you, doc- there's a shitload of ocean out there.
D-1442 takes on an expression of distress and he looks at the table.
Dr. S███████: Noted. Next question: Do you-
Dr. S███████ reaches for the pen on the table.
D-1442: No no NO NO DOC DON'T DON'T-
Dr. S███████: What?
D-1442: You'll… Oh, never mind. It'll happen anyways.
Dr. S███████: What will happen anyways, D-1442?
D-1442: I have a name, you kn- oh, right. I have a number designation now, to make termination more easy to record.
Dr. S███████: What exactly will happen anyways, D-1442?
D-1442: The breach at sector ██, or some shit. The one that holds that [REDACTED].
Dr. S███████: When do you believe this will happen, D-1442?
D-1442: Pretty soon, I think. The clock in the guard post says half past eight.
Dr. S███████: Hm. Excuse me for a moment.
Dr. S███████ leaves the room and relays the information to site-██. Site Director █████ increases security around SCP-████ as a precaution. Coinciding exactly with Dr. S███████ terminating the call with Site Director █████, D-1442 utilizes a pen left on the desk to puncture his trachea. Emergency medical intervention was unsuccessful in preserving D-1442's life. D-1442's corpse was kept under observation for 24 hours following time of death to monitor for any additional anomalous properties, then incinerated without incident. Dr. S███████ was reprimanded for his lapse in protocol.
Note: Giving former death row inmates the ability to see the future is a bad idea in itself, and if they collaborate with one another we could have a containment breach planned by people that know what we're going to do before we do it. I strongly suggest revision of the testing procedures on D-class personnel with SCP-XXXX. -Dr. S███████
Addendum XXXX-C: On ██/██/████, at 8:28 am, a containment breach of site-██ occurred when SCP-████ utilized the excess security personnel around its containment cell to [DATA EXPUNGED], while also breaching containment of SCP-███ due to the fact that part of SCP-███'s guard staff was reassigned to SCP-████'s containment, thereby weakening it and providing SCP-████ with the opportunity to exploit this weakness. Site Director █████'s resulting psychological examination revealed slight dementia due to a previously dormant hereditary disease.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe Euclid
Updated Special Containment Procedures as of ██/██/20██: A single instance of SCP-XXXX-1 is to be kept in a standard Humanoid Containment Cell, equipped with an automated food delivery system and a chute leading to an incinerator for waste disposal. No direct contact is to be made with SCP-XXXX-1 or any material output from the cell under any circumstances. SCP-XXXX-1 is to be given one piece of food weighing at least 5 grams every 3 hours, which it must consume, even if coercion is required.
Two stand-by D-Class personnel should be housed in an adjacent set of cells at all times. In the event that SCP-XXXX-1 fails to cooperate with regards to the food schedule for more than 6 hours, one standby D-Class is to be exposed to 'infected' food matter, and the uncooperative instance is to be terminated, and its body incinerated.
In the event of a containment breach, instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are to be terminated on sight by gunshot and incinerated.
Special Containment Procedures: The current instance of SCP-XXXX-1 is held in a standard Humanoid Containment Cell equipped with an automated delivery mechanism for food and a chute leading to an incinerator for waste disposal. No direct contact is to be made with SCP-XXXX-1 or any material output from the cell.
Once per month, SCP-XXXX-1 is to transfer SCP-XXXX to another D-Class personel, and the previous iteration of SCP-XXXX-1 is to be terminated on schedule.
In the event that containment of the effect is lost, Site Director ██████ should be made aware of the affected person, and SCP-XXXX is to be transferred to another D-Class to be put back in containment.
Updated Description as of ██/██/20██: SCP-XXXX is an infectious phenomenon in which affected individuals (designated SCP-XXXX-1) unfailingly encounter a piece of human hair in any non-liquid food matter of 1 gram or more that enters their mouth. Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 experiencing only this effect are to be considered in Stage 1. Advancement past this stage can be indefinitely halted by the regular consumption of at least 5 grams of solid food matter every 8 hours or less. If this schedule is not met, however, SCP-XXXX infection alters to become more severe.
Transmission of SCP-XXXX occurs when an SCP-XXXX-1 instance comes into contact with a piece of digestible food heavier than 1 gram. Any food affected in this manner is considered to be 'infected', and a human being that consumes 'infected' food will become an instance of SCP-XXXX-1. Direct contact with instances of SCP-XXXX-1 does not transmit the effect. Consumption of blood of an afflicted individual, however, has been shown to spread SCP-XXXX (although no other fluids have shown to be vectors of transmission, bodily or otherwise— research is ongoing).
Progression through SCP-XXXX affliction is as follows:
Stage 1: fasting 0-8 hours
SCP-XXXX-1 instances discover pieces of hair in food they consume. Length of hair discovered varies with the quantity of food in each 'bite': 1 gram will produce a hair about the length of an eyelash, while a quantity that completely fills the mouth will produce a hair about 30 cm in length. The DNA of the manifested hair matches that of the SCP-XXXX-1 instance that generated it.
Stage 2: fasting 8-20 hours
Pieces of hair will spontaneously generate at locations anywhere in the mouth or upper esophagus of SCP-XXXX-1 instances at an approximate rate of one every 10 minutes, such as underneath the tongue, between teeth, or stuck to the tonsils. The length of each piece varies from 1-10 cm.
Stage 3: fasting 20-30 hours
The rate of hair generation in the mouth increases tenfold, and hair begins to generate in a similar manner to Stage 1 on other external mucous membranes such as the eyes, ears, and anus.
Stage 4: fasting 30-40 hours
Hair generation reaches a uniform near-constant rate on all external mucous membranes, to the point where instances of SCP-XXXX-1 have difficulty seeing and breathing due to the thickness of the hair.
Subjects expire between 40-45 hours due to suffocation, and although hair generation ceases on death, the corpse of an SCP-XXXX-1 instance and any hair produced by it (anomalously or not) remains a vector of transmission for SCP-XXXX. Consumption of food at any stage is sufficient to halt the progression of SCP-XXXX severity, but not reverse it.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon in which the afflicted individual (designated SCP-XXXX-1) unfailingly encounters a piece of human hair in any non-liquid food matter of 1 gram or more that enters their mouth. The length of hair discovered varies depending on the amount of food SCP-XXXX-1 attempts to eat in a 'bite', ranging from the size of an eyelash at the lower mass limit to roughly 30 cm at an approximate mouth-full.
Transmission of SCP-XXXX occurs when SCP-XXXX-1 holds a piece of food matter larger than 1 gram and offers it to another human being. If the individual to which the food was offered then accepts and consumes a portion of said food, the previous instance of SCP-XXXX-1 will cease to be affected by SCP-XXXX, and the offered subject will become a new instance of SCP-XXXX-1. Testing has confirmed that the effect does not apply to animals, and that if SCP-XXXX-1 offers food to two people, and each consumes the offered food simultaneously, the effect will be transmitted randomly to only a single subject.
Incident XXXX-1
On ██/█/20██, prior to updated containment procedures being established, the SCP-XXXX-1 instance at the time (D-1238) decided to abstain from eating food for a period of 12 hours. Researcher ██████, noticing the progression of SCP-XXXX's manifestation, ordered a precautionary security detail to remain on standby near the chamber in anticipation of an effect that could not be contained by the humanoid Containment Cell, then de-activated the food disposal mechanism to continue the fasting experiment. Stages 2-4 were observed over the next two days until D-1238 expired due to suffocation. It was then discovered that SCP-XXXX had mutated into its current form, with no observed limit on the number of simultaneous instances of SCP-XXXX-1 that can exist.
██/██/20██
Following a peer review session of Researcher ██████'s actions that caused the mutation of SCP-XXXX, and in light of the fact that she attempted to take adequate precautions prior to the instigation of the event, no disciplinary action nor reprimand will be administered at this time. Upgrade to Euclid pending. - Site Director ████
Discovery: SCP-XXXX was discovered during a mission to investigate a possible instance of SCP-████ in ████████, India. Agent O██████ was approached by an adolescent while dining in a rural household (while under the guise of a needy traveler in need of food) and was given half of a loaf of bread. Immediately after biting into it, Agent O██████ discovered a hair. All subsequent meals following this also contained a single human hair. Agent O██████ recognized the the anomalous nature of this occurrence and reported it. Thereafter, SCP-XXXX was successfully transferred to a D-Class and containment procedures were established.