Lasergoose

███████

WHOOSH Slide

rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be stored at Research Site ██, kept disconnected from any water source and dismantled into at least three sections. SCP-XXXX may be reassembled on-site and supplied with water only during scheduled tests. Following Incident XXXX-1, testing chamber drainage system must be segregated from all other local plumbing.

SCP-XXXX-1 is to be housed at Residential Site 4, with Foundation personnel acting as foster parents, and relative normalcy of life maintained. Regular medical and psychological evaluations and interviews to be performed by Foundation personnel until such time as researchers are satisfied with all recalled and shared memories of interaction with SCP-XXXX. More secure and/or permanent containment measures may be considered at that time.

Description: SCP-XXXX is an enclosed tube-style S-curved water slide. The slide has a diameter of 1m, and when assembled, a drop height of 3.8m and exterior run of 14m. The exterior of the top segment of the slide features a control box containing two levers. The larger of the levers controls the slide's emergency shutoff valve, which immediately stops water flow. Markings around the turn radius of the smaller lever appear to be incremental, but all labels in the control box are illegible due to wear.

When provided with flow in excess of 190 L/minute, objects placed in the top of the fully active slide typically exit the bottom of the slide measurably later than would be expected based on all calculations. When active, no tested force has proven sufficient to retract items advanced beyond the first bend encountered from the top of SCP-XXXX, or to ascend beyond the first bend encountered from the bottom of SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a ██-year-old human male recovered from SCP-XXXX. (See Addendum XXXX-1: Recovery Notes) At latest medical exam, subject was biologically unremarkable. Skin tone, eyesight and muscle mass all normal for an adolescent male. Latest psychological evaluation indicates SCP-XXXX-1 still exhibits some traits consistent with subjects of long-term isolation and sensory deprivation. Subject has recently developed skepticism regarding cover story of coma as explanation for subject's memory of events following interaction with SCP-XXXX and prior to subject's recovery.

Test highlights

Test XXXX-22

Subject: Wheeled reconnaissance drone, equipped with axle-linked odometer, GPS unit and audio/video recorder. All data recorded in on-board flash memory, and transmitted wirelessly to research terminal.
Procedure: Drone advanced down fully active SCP-XXXX, with second lever in default position, recording and transmitting data.
Results: Wireless contact lost as drone rounded first bend. Drone emerged with massive bearing and axle damage 13.8 seconds after entry, having measured 4.8 km traveled, which would indicate an average speed in excess of 1,250 km/h. No friction damage was observed on the tires or underside of the drone. All damage was isolated to friction between moving parts of the drone. Video displayed distortion as drone rounded first bend, followed by total darkness (timestamp still visible) until drone rounded second bend. Then more distortion appeared, followed by clear image of final stretch of slide, well-lit by light from test chamber. Recorded audio consistent with rushing water or wind. On-board timer consistent with time recorded in test chamber, suggesting no temporal anomalies "inside" SCP-XXXX.
Notes: This was the 8th test with the drone, but the maximum distance recorded. The drone was rated for a top speed of 20 km/h, and the odometer designed to freeze in the event of any axle deformity. Researchers concluded there was a high likelihood that the actual distance traveled during this test was in excess of 4.8 km, and the average speed even more extreme than initially calculated. Wireless contact and GPS connection was lost in all drone tests. Contact using reinforced cable ruled unfeasible due to unpredictable length needs.

Test XXXX-26

Subject: New drone, identical to damaged one from Test XXXX-22
Procedure: Drone advanced down fully active SCP-XXXX, with second lever in default position, recording and transmitting data.
Results: Drone emerged in 10 minutes and 28 seconds, having recorded a total distance of just 20m. A message was printed in an unidentified non-water-soluble ink on drone body:

Message begins:
EXCESSIVE RELAY TRAFFIC FROM YOUR NODE
PRIORITY ADJUSTED
EXPECT DELAYS
Notes: The above 3 lines were repeated several times. Subsequent tests that day yielded unusually long times before emergence of drone.

Test XXXX-38

Subject: Drone
Procedure: Drone advanced down fully active SCP-XXXX, with second lever in default position, recording and transmitting data. As soon as contact was lost, emergency shutoff valve engaged.
Results: Drone did not emerge from bottom of SCP-XXXX, and could not be located within inert SCP-XXXX, which exhibited no anomalous properties following water shutoff. After 1 hour, water flow restored. Drone emerged 2 seconds later, bearing similar damage to drone in Test XXXX-22, and having measured a distance of 4.4 km before odometer froze from axle damage. A message printed in unidentified non-water-soluble ink discovered on drone body:

Message begins:
DESTINATION NODE NOT FOUND
ATTEMPTING RETURN
ORIGIN NODE NOT FOUND
RETRYING DELIVERY
DESTINATION NODE NOT FOUND
RETRYING RETURN
ORIGIN NODE NOT FOUND
Notes:The above 4 lines were repeated several times.

Test XXXX-39

Subject: Drone
Procedure: Second lever rotated 40 degrees clockwise. Drone advanced down fully active SCP-XXXX, recording and transmitting data.
Results: [DATA REDACTED] Drone recorded total distance of 212 km. Recorded video [DATA REDACTED] (See Incident XXXX-1.)
Notes: All future testing must be approved by O5 council. Human testing requested and pending approval.