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- Goodbye Kitty, neuroscience draft
- Goodbye Kitty, second draft
- Goodbye Kitty, first draft
- World of Slugs
- Harry Potter Real Talking Sorting Hat™
- For Review by the Ethics Committee
- Save Our Souls Ch. 2
- Save Our Souls Ch. 1
- The Signal
- The Great Filter (2nd draft)
- The Great Filter (obsolete)
- The Artist
- The Dark
- Tetris, Revision 1 (Obsolete)
- Tetris, Revision 2 (Obsolete)
- Tetris, Revision 3
- Instruction Manual
- The Almanack
- Catastrophic Social Embarrassment
- Word Document
- Random Ideas for SCPs
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Shipments of intraocular lenses (IOLs) intended for cataract surgery are to be randomly intercepted and inspected for evidence of counterfeit merchandise. Any such IOLs with defective UV protection are to be traced to their factory of origin, and their production is to be halted. Any individuals known to have been implanted with sabotaged IOLs are to be given corrective surgery with unmodified lenses.
Marketplaces and souvenir stores in major metropolitan areas, especially those with a significant tourism industry, are to be routinely swept by Foundation personnel. Any bootleg merchandise imitating the “Hello Kitty” product line by Sanrio Co., Ltd is to be inspected for evidence of SCP-NNNN. Any shipments of such counterfeit merchandise are to be likewise traced to their factory of origin, and their production is to be halted.
MTF-μ-9 “Tenth Lifers” are to be housed at Site-44. Feline operatives of MTF-μ-9 are to be selected from nearby animal shelters based on a “curious” or “active” temperament, and are to be allowed free rein of the facility. Cetirizine1 is to be provided to human employees at Site-44 who suffer from cat allergies.
INTERPOL and other international agencies are to be monitored for information on PoI-NNNN or other high-ranking acolytes of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye. PoI-NNNN is a high-priority target for acquisition by the Foundation, and if discovered, he shall be detained immediately.
Description: SCP-NNNN is an “impossible” color generated by the superposition of near-ultraviolet light (approx. 310 nm wavelength) and deep red light (approx. 735 nm wavelength) on the human retina, as well as that of certain other animals. While other impossible colors2 are well-understood by the greater scientific community, SCP-NNNN has gone unremarked. This is largely due to the inability of humans to perceive near-ultraviolet light in ordinary circumstances, as well as the uncommon mutations to the lateral geniculate nucleus (LGN)3 that allow for significant visual processing of the anomalous color.
SCP-NNNN is interpreted by the human mind as an impossible shade of “ultra-pink” or “white-magenta,” as described by those who have viewed the anomaly. In typical adult humans, though the blue photoreceptors of the retina are capable of resolving ultraviolet light, the lens of the eye blocks the photons of that wavelength. Furthermore, a typical human’s LGN will discard some or all of SCP-NNNN as irrelevant noise, resulting in considerable variation from person to person of the ability to see SCP-NNNN. Approximately 20% to 25% of humans have a sufficiently defective LGN to resolve any amount of detail in the SCP-NNNN, while as few as 1% suffer from LGN impairment severe enough to see the anomalous light with perfect clarity.
Cataract surgery involves the removal and replacement of the lens with an artificial implant. Modern intraocular lenses (IOLs) used during such surgery have a UV-opaque coating, designed to protect the eye from ultraviolet light damage, and will accordingly obscure SCP-NNNN. However, if counterfeit IOLs with deficient UV protection are implanted in an individual with an impaired LGN, SCP-NNNN becomes visible.
Shipments of deliberately sabotaged IOLs intercepted by the Foundation typically lead to the discovery of dozens of compromised surgeries, almost always performed by surgeons unaware of the defective product. Though the Foundation continues to shut down compromised production facilities as they arise, the extensive infiltration of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye into the global manufacturing industry allows for new, clandestine manufacturing centers to be set up and operated with relative ease.
The Earth is inhabited by an unknown number of incorporeal creatures detectable only in shades of SCP-NNNN4 These creatures, designated SCP-NNNN-Ω, display significant morphological diversity in a sparse ecosystem that exists superimposed on the visible Earth. Dozens of species have been identified, ranging from small, fast-moving insectoid animals to stationary tree-like entities upwards of a hundred meters in height, though none display signs of sapience. As SCP-NNNN-Ω are relatively rare and have very little physical interaction with the Earth,5 spotting and tracking them is a difficult task.
In addition to LGN-impaired humans who have undergone faulty lens replacement surgery, two other prominent groups have the ability to perceive SCP-NNNN: young human children, and Felis catus, the domestic house cat.6
Until roughly the age of ten, the human lens is thin enough to allow for some penetration of near-UV light. Furthermore, the LGN in young children is underdeveloped, and will almost always allow for at least a faint perception of SCP-NNNN. Children will often describe SCP-NNNN-Ω as “monsters” or “ghosts” that are invisible to adult humans. As the brain matures and the lens thickens, this ability is gradually lost.
Animals of the Felis genus, most notably the domestic house cat, have ocular lenses that are naturally permeable to UV light, and an LGN that does not filter SCP-NNNN in any respect. All house cats, therefore, can easily perceive SCP-NNNN. As the experience is a typical part of a house cat’s day-to-day experience, this ability rarely causes any distress or unusual behavior. However, just as sudden movements of mundane objects and creatures will often alarm house cats, unexpected activity of SCP-NNNN-Ω may provoke a similar response.7 Feline agents of MTF-μ-9 and their human handlers are trained to interpret these signs, and have become a reliable method of tracking and studying SCP-NNNN-Ω.
SCP-NNNN-Ω are attracted to objects that exhibit similar activity in SCP-NNNN light. Commercially available UV-reactive pigments8 will fluoresce in SCP-NNNN when layered atop deep red, and swiftly garner the attention of nearby SCP-NNNN-Ω. In recent years, the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye has begun a campaign to expose children to SCP-NNNN-Ω through bootleg toys pigmented to reflect SCP-NNNN.
Due to their symbolic association with cats and shades of magenta, Order has focused their attention on distributing counterfeit toys in mimicry of the Hello Kitty brand. Their Hello Kitty bootlegs have been found in most major cities and tourism hubs, as well as through resellers operating on auction websites. As the majority of these retailers are ignorant to the exact provenance of their wares, and the Order contracts multiple mundane factories to produce their merchandise, tracking them has proven to be difficult.
Confiscated Hello Kitty merchandise is stored and studied at Site-44. The Site is home to a correspondingly dense population of SCP-NNNN-Ω, as monitored by the feline division of MTF-μ-9. Research into SCP-NNNN-Ω conducted at Site-44 has led to several hypotheses as to their nature, though no established theory has been formulated to date.
MTF-μ-9 has been deployed to great effect in efforts to locate safe houses and distribution points of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye, which are invariably decorated with ultra-magenta paint. Roving patrols of MTF-μ-9 have played a vital role in detecting and uprooting the Order, as their unwillingness to harm or hinder cats in any way has rendered MTF-μ-9 an extremely effective countermeasure.
Addendum NNNN-1: Origin and Ongoing Activities of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye
The Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye is a synthetic cult established in the early 1990’s. Though the Order claims to be a venerable secret society with roots dating back to ancient Greek mystery cults, no record of such a historical group exists. Supposed artifacts produced by the Order are trivially determined to be forgeries due to their poor translation of colloquial modern English into Ancient Greek, as well as evidence of modern manufacturing methods and materials.
The ideology and eschatology of the Ancient Order of Lion’s Eye is an amalgam of poorly-understood neopagan and wiccan beliefs, in combination with writings from other 19th and 20th century doomsday cults. The Order was founded as a typical money-making scheme, wherein the cult leader promised salvation during a vaguely-defined apocalyptic scenario9 in return for material and physical devotion. The “sales pitch” used by the Order to recruit new members involves an appeal to childhood supernatural experiences, with emphasis placed on innocent wisdom, cat worship, and feline “third eye” vision of a spirit world.10
The founder of the Order, a former car salesman who went by the epithet “Old Tom” (born Thomas Delaney in Newark, New Jersey), amassed a sizeable fortune from approximately one hundred devotees. Delaney subsequently fled from the Order’s compound to the Cayman Islands in 1998, where he currently resides in considerable luxury. As the association of the Order with SCP-NNNN post-dates Delaney’s abandonment of his followers, he is not considered a Person of Interest by the Foundation. Any further investigation of Thomas Delaney is under the purview of the United States Internal Revenue Service.
By coincidence, Delaney’s ad hoc mythos happened to loosely correlate with the phenomenon now labeled SCP-NNNN. PoI-NNNN (born Alvin Schenk of Rochester, New York), an opthamologist who had been one of Delaney’s earliest recruits, noted that two of his patients treated for aphakia11 and LGN-related visual processing disorders had experienced hallucinations that appeared to synchronize with the activity of their pet cats. Schenk, who had been diagnosed with a similar visual processing disorder, extracted his own lenses. The Order subsequently began their distribution of sabotaged IOLs and bootleg Hello Kitty merchandise in late 2004 or early 2005.
Though membership in the Order fell sharply after Delaney’s departure, the discovery of SCP-NNNN by PoI-NNNN revitalized the remaining believers. PoI-NNNN, operating under the name “New Tom,” has led a resurgence of the cult into the 21st century. While Thomas Delaney was a con artist, all evidence indicates that “New Tom” and his followers are true believers, operating on a mandate of universal enlightenment. Modern-day inner doctrine of the Order states that when a certain critical mass of “the Enlightened” are able to “see through the cats’ eyes,” an end-of-days scenario and salvation of the believers will occur. PoI-NNNN has thus far eluded capture, and his whereabouts are unknown.
While the eschatology of the Order is entirely without merit, their mundane activities have led to a significant number of eye infections due to poorly-manufactured IOLs, as well as exposing children to unsafe pigments used to create the deep red component of their bootleg Hello Kitty merchandise. The activities of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye have therefore been designated as a significant public health hazard. Foundation agents within the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, the Food and Drug Administration, and corresponding bodies in other countries are standing by to alert their organizations once PoI-NNNN is captured, the Order is shut down, and the nature of SCP-NNNN can be concealed during consumer advisory alerts and product recalls.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Shipments of intraocular lenses (IOLs) intended for cataract surgery are to be randomly intercepted and inspected for evidence of counterfeit merchandise. Any such IOLs with defective UV protection are to be traced to their factory of origin, and their production is to be halted. Any individuals known to have been implanted with sabotaged IOLs are to be given corrective surgery with unmodified lenses.
Marketplaces and souvenir stores in major metropolitan areas, especially those with a significant tourism industry, are to be routinely swept by Foundation personnel. Any bootleg merchandise imitating the “Hello Kitty” product line by Sanrio Co., Ltd is to be inspected for evidence of SCP-NNNN. Any shipments of such counterfeit merchandise are to be likewise traced to their factory of origin, and their production is to be halted.
MTF-μ-9 “Tenth Lifers” are to be housed at Site-44. Feline operatives of MTF-μ-9 are to be selected from nearby animal shelters based on a “curious” or “active” temperament, and are to be allowed free rein of the facility. Cetirizine12 is to be provided to human employees at Site-44 who suffer from cat allergies.
INTERPOL and other international agencies are to be monitored for information on PoI-NNNN or other high-ranking acolytes of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye. PoI-NNNN is a high-priority target for acquisition by the Foundation, and if discovered, he shall be detained immediately.
Description: SCP-NNNN is an “impossible” color generated by the superposition of near-ultraviolet light (approx. 310 nm wavelength) and deep red light (approx. 735 nm wavelength) on the human retina, as well as that of certain other animals. While other impossible colors13 are well-understood by the greater scientific community, SCP-NNNN has gone unremarked, largely due to the inability of humans to perceive near-ultraviolet light in ordinary circumstances.
SCP-NNNN is interpreted by the human mind as an impossible shade of “ultra-pink” or “white-magenta,” as described by those who have viewed the anomaly. In healthy adult humans, the lens of the eye blocks the near-ultraviolet light necessary to perceive SCP-NNNN, and the anomalous color is therefore invisible to the majority of the human population. However, blue photoreceptor cells are naturally responsive to near-ultraviolet light, and will react to UV photons that reach them unimpeded by the lens.
If the lens of the eye is removed, as is the case in routine cataract surgery, humans are able to perceive SCP-NNNN. Modern artificial lenses (IOLs) implanted during such surgery have a UV-opaque coating, designed to protect the eye from ultraviolet light damage, and will accordingly obscure SCP-NNNN. However, if counterfeit IOLs with deficient UV protection are implanted, SCP-NNNN becomes visible.
Shipments of deliberately sabotaged IOLs intercepted by the Foundation typically lead to the discovery of dozens of compromised surgeries, almost always performed by surgeons unaware of the defective product. Though the Foundation continues to shut down compromised production facilities as they arise, the extensive infiltration of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye into the global manufacturing industry allows for new, clandestine manufacturing centers to be set up and operated with relative ease.
The Earth is inhabited by an unknown number of incorporeal creatures detectable only in shades of SCP-NNNN14 These creatures, designated SCP-NNNN-Ω, display significant morphological diversity in a sparse ecosystem that exists superimposed on the visible Earth. Dozens of species have been identified, ranging from small, fast-moving insectoid animals to stationary tree-like entities upwards of a hundred meters in height, though none display signs of sapience. As SCP-NNNN-Ω are relatively rare and have very little physical interaction with the Earth,15 spotting and tracking them is a difficult task.
In addition to humans who have undergone faulty lens replacement surgery, two other prominent groups have the ability to perceive SCP-NNNN: young human children, and Felis catus, the domestic house cat.16
Until roughly the age of ten, the human lens is thin enough to allow for some penetration of UV light, and therefore a faint perception of SCP-NNNN. Most humans experience a gradually diminishing ability to perceive SCP-NNNN with age, until it becomes completely invisible in early adolescence. Children will often describe SCP-NNNN-Ω as “monsters” or “ghosts” that are invisible to adult humans.
Animals of the Felis genus, most notably the domestic house cat, have ocular lenses that are naturally permeable to UV light. All house cats, therefore, can easily perceive SCP-NNNN. As the experience is a typical part of a house cat’s day-to-day experience, this ability rarely causes any distress or unusual behavior. However, just as sudden movements of mundane objects and creatures will often alarm house cats, unexpected activity of SCP-NNNN-Ω may provoke a similar response.17 Feline agents of MTF-μ-9 and their human handlers are trained to interpret these signs, and have become a reliable method of tracking and studying SCP-NNNN-Ω.
SCP-NNNN-Ω are attracted to objects that exhibit similar activity in SCP-NNNN light. Commercially available UV-reactive pigments18 will fluoresce in SCP-NNNN when layered atop deep red, and swiftly garner the attention of nearby SCP-NNNN-Ω. In recent years, the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye has begun a campaign to expose children to SCP-NNNN-Ω through bootleg toys pigmented to reflect SCP-NNNN.
Due to their symbolic association with cats and shades of magenta, Order has focused their attention on distributing counterfeit toys in mimicry of the Hello Kitty brand. Their Hello Kitty bootlegs have been found in most major cities and tourism hubs, as well as through resellers operating on auction websites. As the majority of these retailers are ignorant to the exact provenance of their wares, and the Order contracts multiple mundane factories to produce their merchandise, tracking them has proven to be difficult.
Confiscated Hello Kitty merchandise is stored and studied at Site-44. The Site is home to a correspondingly dense population of SCP-NNNN-Ω, as monitored by the feline division of MTF-μ-9. Research into SCP-NNNN-Ω conducted at Site-44 has led to several hypotheses as to their nature, though no established theory has been formulated to date.
MTF-μ-9 has been deployed to great effect in efforts to locate safe houses and distribution points of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye, which are invariably decorated with ultra-magenta paint. Roving patrols of MTF-μ-9 have played a vital role in detecting and uprooting the Order, as their unwillingness to harm or hinder cats in any way has rendered MTF-μ-9 an extremely effective countermeasure.
Addendum NNNN-1: Origin and Ongoing Activities of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye
The Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye is a synthetic cult established in the early 1990’s. Though the Order claims to be a venerable secret society with roots dating back to ancient Greek mystery cults, no record of such a historical group exists. Supposed artifacts produced by the Order are trivially determined to be forgeries due to their poor translation of colloquial modern English into Ancient Greek, as well as evidence of modern manufacturing methods and materials.
The ideology and eschatology of the Ancient Order of Lion’s Eye is an amalgam of poorly-understood neopagan and wiccan beliefs, in combination with writings from other 19th and 20th century doomsday cults. The Order was founded as a typical money-making scheme, wherein the cult leader promised salvation during a vaguely-defined apocalyptic scenario19 in return for material and physical devotion. The “sales pitch” used by the Order to recruit new members involves an appeal to childhood supernatural experiences, with emphasis placed on innocent wisdom, cat worship, and feline “third eye” vision of a spirit world.20
The founder of the Order, a former car salesman who went by the epithet “Old Tom” (born Thomas Delaney in Newark, New Jersey), amassed a sizeable fortune from approximately one hundred devotees. Delaney subsequently fled from the Order’s compound to the Cayman Islands in 1998, where he currently resides in considerable luxury. As the association of the Order with SCP-NNNN post-dates Delaney’s abandonment of his followers, he is not considered a Person of Interest by the Foundation. Any further investigation of Thomas Delaney is under the purview of the United States Internal Revenue Service.
By coincidence, Delaney’s ad hoc mythos happened to loosely correlate with the phenomenon now labeled SCP-NNNN. PoI-NNNN (born Alvin Schenk of Rochester, New York), an opthamologist who had been one of Delaney’s earliest recruits, noted that some patients treated for aphakia21 had experienced hallucinations that appeared to synchronize with the activity of their pet cats. After a period of experimentation and trial, the Order began their distribution of sabotaged lenses and bootleg Hello Kitty merchandise in late 2004 or early 2005.
Though membership in the Order fell sharply after Delaney’s departure, the discovery of SCP-NNNN by PoI-NNNN revitalized the remaining believers. PoI-NNNN, operating under the name “New Tom,” has led a resurgence of the cult into the 21st century. While Thomas Delaney was a con artist, all evidence indicates that “New Tom” and his followers are true believers, operating on a mandate of universal enlightenment. Modern-day inner doctrine of the Order states that when a certain critical mass of humankind sees “through the cats’ eyes,” an end-of-days scenario and salvation of the believers will occur. PoI-NNNN has thus far eluded capture, and his whereabouts are unknown.
While the eschatology of the Order is entirely without merit, their mundane activities have led to a significant number of eye infections due to poorly-manufactured IOLs, as well as exposing children to unsafe pigments used to create the deep red component of their bootleg Hello Kitty merchandise. The activities of the Ancient Order of the Lion’s Eye have therefore been designated as a significant public health hazard. Foundation agents within the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, the Food and Drug Administration, and corresponding bodies in other countries are standing by to alert their organizations once PoI-NNNN is captured, the Order is shut down, and the nature of SCP-NNNN can be concealed during consumer advisory alerts and product recalls.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Shipments of intraocular lenses (IOLs) intended for cataract surgery are to be randomly intercepted and inspected for evidence of counterfeit merchandise. Any such IOLs with defective UV protection are to be traced to their factory of origin, and their production is to be halted. Any individuals known to have been implanted with sabotaged IOLs are to be given corrective surgery with unmodified lenses.
Marketplaces and souvenir stores in major metropolitan areas, especially those with a significant tourism industry, are to be routinely swept by Foundation personnel. Any bootleg merchandise imitating the "Hello Kitty" product line by Sanrio Co., Ltd is to be inspected for evidence of SCP-NNNN. Any shipments of such counterfeit merchandise are to be likewise traced to their factory of origin, and their production is to be halted.
MTF-μ-9 "Tenth Lifers" are to be housed at Site-44. Feline operatives of MTF-μ-9 are to be selected from nearby animal shelters based on a "curious" or "active" temperament, and are to be allowed free rein of the facility. Cetirizine22 is to be provided to human employees at Site-44 who suffer from cat allergies.
INTERPOL and other international agencies are to be monitored for information on PoI-NNNN and the inner acolytes of the Ancient Order of the Lion's Eye. PoI-NNNN is a high-priority target for acquisition by the Foundation, and if discovered, he shall be detained immediately.
Description: SCP-NNNN is a fictitious color generated by the superposition of near-ultraviolet light (approx. 310 nm wavelength) and deep red light (approx. 735 nm wavelength) on the human retina, as well as that of certain other animals. While other fictitious colors are well-understood by the greater scientific community, SCP-NNNN has gone unremarked, largely due to the inability of humans to perceive near-ultraviolet light in ordinary circumstances.
SCP-NNNN is most closely analogous to the color magenta, which, like SCP-NNNN, does not exist in the visible light spectrum. The color humans perceive as magenta is caused by a superposition of visible violet and red light in the absence of green or yellow light. While the "average" wavelength of light between violet and red lies in the yellow-green band of the visible light spectrum, the brain instead interprets these combined wavelengths as magenta, a fictitious shade that exists only within the mind.
SCP-NNNN likewise straddles the yellow-green band of visible light, but is interpreted by the human mind as an impossible shade of "ultra-magenta." In healthy adult humans, the lens of the eye blocks the near-ultraviolet light necessary to perceive SCP-NNNN, and the anomalous color is therefore invisible to the majority of the human population. However, blue photoreceptor cells are naturally responsive to near-ultraviolet light, and will react to UV photons that reach them unimpeded by the lens.
If the lens of the eye is removed, as is the case in routine cataract surgery, humans are able to perceive SCP-NNNN. Modern artificial lenses (IOLs) implanted during such surgery have a UV-opaque coating, designed to protect the eye from ultraviolet light damage, and will accordingly obscure SCP-NNNN. However, if counterfeit IOLs with deficient UV protection are implanted, SCP-NNNN becomes visible. In the past decade, large numbers of such IOLs have been circulated to medical device suppliers by the Ancient Order of the Lion's Eye in their ongoing mandate to spread the influence of SCP-NNNN among the general population.
Shipments of deliberately sabotaged IOLs intercepted by the Foundation typically lead to the discovery of dozens of compromised surgeries, almost always performed by surgeons unaware of the defective product. Though the Foundation continues to shut down Lion's Eye production facilities as they arise, the extensive infiltration of the Order into the global manufacturing industry allows for new, clandestine manufacturing centers to be set up and operated with relative ease.
The planet Earth is inhabited by an unknown number of incorporeal creatures detectable only in shades of SCP-NNNN23. These creatures, designated SCP-NNNN-Ω, display significant morphological diversity in a sparse ecosystem that exists superimposed on the visible Earth. Dozens of species have been identified, ranging from small, fast-moving insectoid animals to stationary tree-like entities upwards of a hundred meters in height, though none display signs of sapience. As SCP-NNNN-Ω are relatively rare and have very little physical interaction with the visible Earth24, spotting and tracking them is a difficult task, even for those who are sensitive to SCP-NNNN.
In addition to humans who have undergone faulty lens replacement surgery, two other prominent groups have the ability to perceive SCP-NNNN: young human children, and Felis catus, the domestic house cat.25
As humans age, the ocular lens gradually thickens to the point where near-UV light is blocked. However, until roughly the age of ten, the lens is thin enough to allow for some penetration of UV light, and faint perception of SCP-NNNN. Most humans experience a gradually diminishing ability to perceive SCP-NNNN with age, until it becomes completely invisible in early adolescence. Children will often describe SCP-NNNN-Ω as "monsters" or "ghosts" that are invisible to adult humans.
Animals of the Felis genus, most notably the domestic house cat, have ocular lenses that are naturally permeable to UV light. All house cats, therefore, can easily perceive SCP-NNNN. As the experience is a typical part of a house cat's day-to-day experience, this ability rarely causes any distress or unusual behavior. However, just as sudden movements of mundane objects and creatures will often alarm house cats, unexpected activity of SCP-NNNN-Ω may provoke a similar response.
Feline reactions to SCP-NNNN-Ω are often interpreted as hissing or hostility toward empty, unremarkable air, as well as abrupt startle responses with no evident trigger. Quiescent or slow-moving SCP-NNNN-Ω will sometimes attract feline attention as well, often resulting in a cat or group of cats staring with rapt attention at empty space. Feline agents of MTF-μ-9 and their human handlers are trained to interpret these signs, and are a reliable method of tracking and studying SCP-NNNN-Ω.
SCP-NNNN-Ω are attracted to objects that exhibit similar activity in SCP-NNNN light. Commercially available UV-reactive pigments26 will fluoresce in SCP-NNNN when layered atop deep red, and swiftly garner the attention of nearby SCP-NNNN-Ω. In recent years, the Ancient Order of the Lion's Eye has begun a campaign to expose children to SCP-NNNN-Ω through bootleg toys pigmented to reflect SCP-NNNN. Due to the Order's reverence of cats and feline symbolism, as well as a similar color scheme found in legitimate products, the Order has focused their attention on distributing counterfeit toys in mimicry of the Hello Kitty brand.
Bootleg Hello Kitty merchandise distributed by the Order has been found in most major cities and tourism hubs, as well as through resellers operating through online auction websites. As the majority of these retailers and resellers are ignorant to the exact provenance of their wares, tracking their origin has proven difficult. Though large shipments of DayGlo paints have been tracked to dozens of warehouses and production lines for counterfeit consumer goods, the owners and operators of these operations are largely ignorant of the true nature of their work.
Confiscated merchandise produced by the Order is stored and studied at Site-44. The Site is home to a correspondingly dense population of SCP-NNNN-Ω, as monitored by the feline division of MTF-μ-9. The task force has likewise been deployed to great effect in efforts to locate safe houses and distribution points of the Ancient Order of the Lion's Eye, which are invariably decorated with ultra-magenta paint. Roving MTF-μ-9 patrols have played a vital role in detecting and uprooting the Ancient Order of the Lion's Eye. While the cult is vast and far from eradicated, their unwillingness to harm or hinder cats in any way has rendered MTF-μ-9 an extremely effective countermeasure against their activities.
Addendum NNNN-1: Origin and Ongoing Activities of the Ancient Order of the Lion's Eye
The Ancient Order of the Lion's Eye is a synthetic cult established in the early 1990's. Though the Order claims to be a venerable secret society with roots dating back to ancient Greek mystery cults, no record of such a historical group exists. Supposed artifacts produced by the Order are trivially determined to be forgeries due to their poor translation of colloquial modern English into Ancient Greek, as well as evidence of modern manufacturing methods and materials.
The ideology and eschatology of the Ancient Order of Lion's Eye is an amalgam of poorly-understood neopagan and wiccan beliefs, in combination with writings from 19th and 20th century doomsday cults. The Order was founded as a typical money-making scheme, wherein the cult leader promised salvation during a vaguely-defined apocalyptic scenario27 in return for material and physical devotion. The "sales pitch" used by the Order to recruit new members involves an appeal to childhood supernatural experiences, with emphasis placed on innocent wisdom, cat worship, and feline "third eye" vision of a spirit world.28
The founder of the Order, a former car salesman who went by the epithet "Old Tom" (born Thomas Delaney in Newark, New Jersey), amassed a sizeable fortune from approximately one hundred devotees. Delaney subsequently fled from the Order's compound to the Cayman Islands in 1998, where he currently resides in considerable luxury. As the association of the Order with SCP-NNNN post-dates Delaney's abandonment of his followers, he is not considered a Person of Interest by the Foundation. Any further investigation of Thomas Delaney is under the purview of the United States Internal Revenue Service.
By coincidence, Delaney's ad hoc mythos happened to loosely correlate with the phenomenon now labeled SCP-NNNN. PoI-NNNN (born Alvin Schenk of Rochester, New York), an opthamologist who had been one of Delaney's earliest recruits, noted that some patients treated for aphakia29 had experienced hallucinations that appeared to synchronize with the activity of their pet cats. After a period of experimentation and trial, the Order began their distribution of sabotaged lenses and bootleg Hello Kitty merchandise in late 2004 or early 2005.
Though membership in the Order fell sharply after Delaney's departure, the discovery of SCP-NNNN by PoI-NNNN revitalized the remaining believers. PoI-NNNN, operating under the name "New Tom," has led a resurgence of the cult into the 21st century. While Thomas Delaney was a con artist, all evidence indicates that "New Tom" and his followers are true believers, operating on a mandate of universal enlightenment. Modern-day inner doctrine of the Order states that when a certain critical mass of humankind sees "through the cats' eyes," an end-of-days scenario and salvation of the believers will occur. PoI-NNNN has thus far eluded capture, and his whereabouts are unknown.
While the eschatology of the Order is entirely without merit, their mundane activities have led to a significant number of eye infections due to poorly-manufactured IOLs, as well as exposing children to unsafe pigments used in their bootleg Hello Kitty merchandise. The activities of the Ancient Order of the Lion's Eye have therefore been designated as a significant public health hazard. Foundation agents within the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, the Food and Drug Administration, and corresponding bodies in other countries are standing by to alert their organizations once PoI-NNNN is captured, the Order is shut down, and the nature of SCP-NNNN can be concealed during consumer advisory alerts and product recalls.
Item # SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: A standard steel-reinforced 3 x 3 x 1 x 1 meter 4-doorway is to be hyperspatially installed around SCP-NNNN. Respirators suitable for filtering noxious sulfur compounds are to be provided for personnel who pass through SCP-NNNN and enter SCP-NNNN-א. At least one member of any away team must be familiar with the regional written language, and care should be taken to minimize contact with the local SCP-NNNN-0 population, if possible.
A "No Entry" sign, written in the local glyphic system of SCP-NNNN-א, is to be affixed to the א side of the anomaly. Any instances of SCP-NNNN-0 who enquire about the status of SCP-NNNN are to be informed that the building is under new management, and no rental units are available.
The apartment building within which SCP-NNNN is located has been acquired by the Foundation, and is now designated Clandestine Site-102. All Site-102 units are to be rented to Foundation employees, including the research staff for SCP-NNNN, at a discounted rate. Guests and family of researchers are strictly forbidden from entry to the building. Please contact Senior Researcher Richard Giordano to inquire about renting a Site-102 apartment.
Description: SCP-NNNN is a discontinuity in space, located in a fourth-floor hallway of an apartment building in Boston, Massachusetts. While the three dimensional volume of SCP-NNNN roughly fills a standard American 6'8" wooden interior doorframe, the unusual hyperspatial structure of the anomaly extends a short distance into 4-space. Passing through SCP-NNNN allows entry into (and egress from) a divergent Minkowski spacetime, designated SCP-NNNN-א, roughly 37 centimeters to the 4-left of baseline Earth.
The dominant lifeform on SCP-NNNN-א, designated SCP-NNNN-0, is a species of large, sapient vermiforms, thought to be descended from early aquatic chordates. The progression of SCP-NNNN-0 civilization and culture bears remarkable parallels to that of humanity, having discovered advanced metallurgy and undergone a technological revolution within the past ten thousand years. The origin of the SCP-NNNN portal is unknown, but is presumed to result from scientific or metaphysical action on the א side in or before the year 2009.
SCP-NNNN was acquired by the Foundation following the arrest of Hugh Dennehey, the then-current landlord of the building, for tax fraud and money laundering in September of 2015. Dennehey came to the Foundation's attention after several of the arresting officers were put on psychiatric leave following their reports of "monsters in the hallways." Under the guise of Federal agents, MTF-Eta-4 ("Men In Black") immediately moved to assume command of the investigation.
The SCP-NNNN portal was discovered and secured shortly thereafter. Several instances of SCP-NNNN-0 were encountered in the process, all of whom displayed some degree of non-violent, non-aggressive hostility to the task force. No human residents of the building were observed. Trace quantities of sulfur-containing gasses were detected in the hallways, matching atmospheric samples later collected from SCP-NNNN-א. High levels of humidity and elevated temperatures were traced to malfunctioning heating systems.
After extraction from police custody, Dennehey was cooperative with Foundation scientists. He explained that he discovered SCP-NNNN in early 2009, and subsequently spent several months establishing mutually-intelligible communication with nearby instances of SCP-NNNN-0. Ultimately, Dennehey evicted his remaining human tenants, and rented out all of his apartments to residents of SCP-NNNN-א. He accepted rent payments in precious metals, gemstones, and other resources that were easily concealed from the United States IRS.
The building, now known as Clandestine Site-102, is currently inhabited by Foundation research staff, studying the society and culture of SCP-NNNN-0. Notably, many of the former residents of Dennehey's apartments are still local to the area, and continue to express curiosity about Earth. One particular specimen, designated SCP-NNNN-0-A, has proved especially eager to communicate with humans. Selections of this specimen's interview logs are provided below.
Interview Log NNNN-0-A 10-02-2015. Conducted by Senior Researcher Richard Giordano
SCP-NNNN-0-A was provided with an electronic text-to-speech keyboard interface.
Dr. Giordano: Hello. Can you understand me?
SCP-NNNN-0-A waves a bundle of tentacles up and down, mimicking a human "nodding" gesture.
Dr. Giordano: Alright. Do you understand who I am?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: HUMAN SCIENTIST
Dr. Giordano: Yes, that's right. Do you have a name?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: SLUGGY
Dr. Giordano: Uh, okay. Sluggy. Did your landlord give you that name? Hugh Dennehey?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YES. WHAT IS YOUR NAME
Dr. Giordano: My name is Richard.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT
Dr. Giordano: R - I - C - H - A - R - D
SCP-NNNN-0-A: THAT IS TOO MANY LETTERS. IS THERE A SHORTER WAY TO WRITE RICHARD?
Dr. Giordano: A… shorter way?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YES. I DON'T THINK MY TINY BRAIN CAN REMEMBER THAT MANY LETTERS AT ONCE.
Dr. Giordano: Excuse me?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: THANK YOU FOR TALKING IN SUCH A CLEAR, SIMPLE MANNER, AS THOUGH YOU WERE SPEAKING TO A HUMAN CHILD. IT MAKES IT EASIER TO UNDERSTAND YOU. CAN I CALL YOU DICK.
Dr. Giordano: You can call me Rick. R - I - C - K.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: I DON'T THINK THAT'S RIGHT. YOU LOOK LIKE A DICK TO ME.
Dr. Giordano: I'm not sure what you mean.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: THAT'S WHAT THE OTHER RESEARCHERS SAY WHEN YOU'RE NOT IN THE ROOM. THEY LAUGH WHEN THEY DO IT. WHY IS THAT? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
Dr. Giordano: How… what?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YES, THEY LAUGH ABOUT IT A LOT. PRETTY MUCH WHENEVER SOMEBODY MENTIONS YOU.
Dr. Giordano: Uh, we'll continue this interview later.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: SOUNDS GOOD. I'M RUNNING LATE, ANYWAY. BYE, DICK.
Following preliminary establishment of friendly relations by Senior Researcher Richard Giordano, Junior Researcher Rudolph Harlan was assigned primary authority over interviews with SCP-NNNN-0-A. Until the end of Researcher Harlan's term of employment with the Foundation, interviews were conducted on a weekly basis. A selection of his interviews are presented below.
It is the recommendation of Junior Researcher Harlan that any future researchers assigned to SCP-NNNN read these interview logs in their entirety before choosing to relocate to Clandestine Site-102.
Interview Log NNNN0-A 11-28-2015. Conducted by Junior Researcher Rudolph Harlan
Dr. Harlan: Hey, Sluggy. How have you been?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: I'M OKAY. HOW IS THE APARTMENT? ARE YOU ALL MOVED IN?
Dr. Harlan: Not quite yet, I still have a lot of boxes. It looks good, though! I mean, I do feel bad for taking your old unit.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: NO WORRIES, I GET IT. WATCH OUT FOR THE RADIATOR, IT LEAKS. I THINK THERE'S MOLD IN THE WALLS, TOO.
Dr. Harlan: Oof, I was wondering about that. Most of the radiators are jammed on, and we can't get the temperature down without shutting off heat to the whole building. I guess Dennehey never did much maintenance, did he?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: HE DID, ACTUALLY. YOUR EARTH IS TOO COLD FOR US, SO THE HEAT AND HUMIDITY IS GREAT. HE WAS EVEN OKAY WITH THE SULFUR DIOXIDE. HE WANTED TO GET RID OF THE MOLD, BUT IT DOESN'T BOTHER US SLUGS.
Dr. Harlan: Huh, okay. Thanks for the heads-up. I think the sulfur smell is going away, at least.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: ANYWAY, HAVE YOU READ THE BOOK YET? I'D LEND YOU MY COPY IF YOU'D JUST LEARN DANISH. IT'S NOT HARD.
Dr. Harlan: I'm trying, but Kierkegaard is pretty dense, even translated.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YOU COULD TRY KANT FIRST.
Dr. Harlan: Is he any easier to read?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: NO, BUT HE'S SUCH AN IDIOT THAT YOU'LL KEEP READING OUT OF SPITE.
Dr. Harlan: Right, actually, Doctor Giordano wants me to get those books back to Earth. Our Earth.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: HUGH GAVE THEM TO ME AS A GIFT AND I'M NOT DONE READING. DICK CAN HAVE THEM WHEN I'M DONE.
Dr. Harlan: When will that be?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: I DON'T KNOW, I'M JUST A SLUG. HOW MUCH LONGER WILL HE LIVE?
Dr. Harlan: Well, he's about fifty, so maybe another forty years?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: HE CAN HAVE THEM IN FORTY-ONE.
Interview Log NNNN 12-28-2015. Conducted by Junior Researcher Rudolph Harlan
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED.
Dr. Harlan: Nice to see you too, Sluggy.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE RATS?
Dr. Harlan: No, I don't think so.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: THE BUILDING USED TO HAVE A RAT PROBLEM. WE DON'T HAVE MAMMALS BACK HOME, SO WE JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS NORMAL UNTIL SOMEBODY MENTIONED IT TO THE LANDLORD.
Dr. Harlan: What did you do?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: DON'T BE GROSS, WE DIDN'T EAT THEM. HUGH SET OUT TRAPS.
Dr. Harlan: Eat— I never said you ate them!
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YOU WERE THINKING IT.
Dr. Harlan: Oh, so you're telepathic now?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YES.
Dr. Harlan: Wait, seriously? Your species has telepathic capabilities? We have to test this, hang on. There's a whole protocol…
SCP-NNNN-0-A: OH MY GOD, RUDY, LEARN TO READ SARCASM. I WAS JUST MOCKING YOU.
Dr. Harlan: Right. Sorry.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: I FORGIVE YOU.
Dr. Harlan: Anyway, you said Dennehey set out traps? What kind did he use? They just keep ignoring the glue ones, and I don't like kill-traps.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: OH NO ARE THE RATS BACK?
Dr. Harlan: Yeah.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: CAN'T YOU ASK DICK TO TAKE CARE OF IT?
Dr. Harlan: We, uh, well, the budget is tight, and he can't exactly call an exterminator.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: WHAT ABOUT THE RADIATORS? IT'S STILL NICE AND TOASTY IN HERE FOR ME.
Dr. Harlan: He can't exactly call a plumber, either. We're supposed to keep the windows shut too, because, you know. Clandestine Site.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: SO YOUR LANDLORD IS MAKING YOU LIVE IN A RAT INFESTED, MOLDY SAUNA. IS THAT WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS SO TIRED?
Dr. Harlan: Uh. I think we're done interviewing for now.
Interview Log NNNN-0-A, 01-02-2015. Conducted by Junior Researcher Rudolph Harlan
Dr. Harlan: It's going to have to be a short interview today, sorry. I was hoping you could tell me a bit more about your species' hatching and growth cycle.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: JESUS CHRIST, RUDY, YOU LOOK AWFUL.
Dr. Harlan: Wow, okay.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: NO, I'M SERIOUS, WHAT'S WRONG?
Dr. Harlan: I… uh, so, your larval stage is aquatic, right? Do you reach sexual maturity as soon as you move onto dry land, or is there more development and growth first?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: RUDY, TALK TO ME.
Dr. Harlan: Um. Well, you know. Working here is a busy job. An exciting job! But I don't have time for, uh, well, much else. Especially with the "no visitors" policy, it's just hard to have… uh, so, your species tends to form long-term mating pairs. Is this to optimize the chances for reproductive success, or is there a societal reason as well?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: WE GENERALLY MATE FOR LIFE. THERE ARE A LOT OF REASONS WHY. HUMANS DO THAT TOO, RIGHT?
Dr. Harlan: Yes. Well, not always, no. I mean, that's the expectation, sure, but in reality it's more complicated than that. A lot more… uh, anyway, females of your species tend to be larger than males. Does this lead to any divergent roles in society?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YOU PEOPLE TAKE SEXUAL DIMORPHISM WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. HUMAN ROMANCE IS HILARIOUS. HAVE YOU READ "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE?" IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.
Dr. Harlan: I like that book.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: LOOK, I'VE BEEN STUDYING YOU LONG ENOUGH TO LEARN A LOT ABOUT HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY. I'VE ACTUALLY SPOKEN AT A FEW CONFERENCES ON THE SUBJECT.
Dr. Harlan: You're researching us?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: OBVIOUSLY. WHY DO YOU THINK I KEEP COMING BACK?
Dr. Harlan: I just thought… never mind. What does this have to do with anything?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: MY DEEP AND THOROUGH INSIGHT INTO THE HUMAN PSYCHE TELLS ME THAT YOU'RE NOT ASKING ABOUT OUR MATING HABITS ENTIRELY OUT OF SCIENTIFIC CURIOSITY.
Dr. Harlan: It's just that, well. We're not allowed to have visitors, or family living here, and it's such a busy job that I don't have time to go out much, and, well, my wife, she, um. She couldn't…
Dr. Harlan is observed to rest his forehead in his hands, and remains silent for 18 seconds.
Dr. Harlan: She just couldn't. Hey, let's talk a bit more about academia on your Earth. So, you're a scientist?
SCP-NNNN-0-A: WOW, I'M SORRY. YOU CAN'T MOVE OUT?
Dr. Harlan: Theoretically I could, but Dick— uh, Doctor Giordano needs the staff to be on hand here.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YIKES. WELL, AT LEAST YOU GET FREE HOUSING OUT OF HIM.
Dr. Harlan: Um.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: OH MY GOD, RUDY, DO YOU ACTUALLY PAY RENT IN THIS SHITHOLE?
Dr. Harlan: We get a discount! It's, you know, it's pretty cheap.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: YOUR BOSS IS MAKING YOU PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF GETTING DIVORCED IN A MOLDY TENEMENT FROM HELL.
Dr. Harlan: I mean, when you put it like that, it sounds… bad. Very bad.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: RUDY, I LIKE YOU. IF YOU HADN'T EVICTED ME FROM MY HOME AND THEN MOVED IN BEFORE THE SMELL EVEN STARTED TO FADE, I MIGHT CALL YOU A FRIEND. BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THIS IS OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS.
Dr. Harlan: I… yeah. Okay, I get it.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: HEY. BUDDY. GO HOME AND THINK ABOUT THINGS FOR A BIT.
Dr. Harlan: I am home. I live two doors down the hall.
SCP-NNNN-0-A: HAHA YEAH, I KNOW.
As of 8/15/2019, following Junior Researcher Harlan's departure from the Foundation and return to civilian life, no further interviews have been conducted. Interviews will resume following sufficient restaffing of Clandestine Site-102.
SCiPNET-S19 username:
> sbuckley
sbuckley@SCiPNET-S19 password:
> *********
Running startup scripts…
Welcome. You have [38] unread messages.
> catalgo scp-NNNN
Command not found: catalgo
> catalog scp-NNNN
Access granted. Clearance level: BANQUET
SCP-NNNN: Opening file…
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: The following containment procedures constitute the protocols of Operation Banquet.
SCP-NNNN is to be stored in room #19-204, the personal office of Senior Researcher Siobhan Buckley. Any Foundation staff without Banquet clearance are to be informed that SCP-NNNN is a low-risk Anomalous Item, of insufficient danger or significance to merit an entry in the SCP Catalog.
Widespread exposure of researchers and staff to SCP-NNNN is to be encouraged, and Researcher Buckley is to make SCP-NNNN available upon request. A general awareness of SCP-NNNN is to be established among Foundation staff, and casual use of SCP-NNNN is to be emphasized as being a minor, tantalizing transgression against authority. Use of SCP-NNNN on newly-hired researchers on the first day of their employment is to be upheld as a long-standing tradition.
A Foundation-wide culture of enthusiasm for the Harry Potter brand is to be maintained. Positive references to Harry Potter media, including films, novels, and unlicensed literature, are to be propagated in casual conversation by agents of Operation Banquet. Expressions of indifference or distaste for Harry Potter media are to be met with displays of disbelief, astonishment, and, in extreme cases, ridicule or ostracism.
Employees who actively seek to expand the reach of SCP-NNNN are to be lauded and, if possible, elevated to higher social status. Favoritism and preferential treatment in workplace settings is to be established for staff who display a thorough knowledge and enjoyment of Harry Potter media.
Due to the ongoing efforts of Operation Banquet to propagate the use of SCP-NNNN within the Foundation, approximately 78% of employees at Site-19 have been exposed to the anomaly two or more times, 61% three or more times, and 42% four or more times. These efforts are to continue, and researchers are to be given access to Operation Banquet on a strictly need-to-know basis.
Individuals who demonstrate immunity to the anomalous property of SCP-NNNN are to be immediately reported to Researcher Buckley and the Site-19 Chief Security Officer.
If SCP-NNNN becomes slow to respond or ceases to function, the depleted batteries should be removed and replaced with fresh AAA cells. Used batteries are to be disposed of in the nearest available Site-19 battery recycling bin.
Description: SCP-NNNN is a modified "Harry Potter Real Talking Sorting Hat" toy, recovered from a second-hand store in Dublin, Ireland. The standard retail version of the toy is a facsimile of a prop hat from the film Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone30, with a small battery powered speaker and a pressure-sensitive switch in a concealed headband. Visually, SCP-NNNN differs from a non-anomalous Harry Potter Real Talking Sorting Hat only by the addition of blue, iridescent text on the brim, reading "ITS [sic] REALLY MAGIC!!" Chemical analysis of the inscription indicates that it is composed of Elmer's Washable Glitter Glue.
When the switch is engaged on a typical Harry Potter Real Talking Sorting Hat, the speaker will play one of four audio clips selected at random, each of which corresponds to a line of dialogue spoken in the film. However, when SCP-NNNN is placed on the head of a living human, the selected clip will be chosen deterministically. A broad statistical sampling of Foundation researchers and staff indicates that the chosen audio clip corresponds to loosely-defined dominant personality traits exhibited by the test subject31. For all such test subjects, the audio clip selection made by SCP-NNNN remains constant across repeated applications and arbitrary timescales.
In the event that SCP-NNNN is instead placed on the head of a non-human and/or non-living creature, SCP-NNNN will be unable to perform its anomalous function, and will effectively behave as an ordinary Harry Potter Real Talking Sorting Hat. All such beings will elicit randomly-selected audio clips as a response, with no clear pattern.
SCP-NNNN is, at present time, the single most reliable method of detecting non-human infiltrators32 within the Foundation, including those capable of rendering themselves biologically indistinguishable from Homo sapiens. To this end, the clandestine encouragement of widespread use of SCP-NNNN among Foundation employees is under the purview of Operation Banquet. As simple probability dictates that the efficacy of SCP-NNNN in detecting non-humans increases exponentially with each exposure, ensuring repeated exposures to the anomaly at as many available opportunities as possible is the cornerstone of the operation.
To date, Operation Banquet has been responsible for the capture or termination of three Doppelgänger-Type Cognitophages, four synthetic automata of various origins in the timestream, two Class-4 Vitalized Revenants, nine Foundation employees who had been psychically subsumed by Parasitic Extraplanar Aetheriae, and one Protoplasmic Body Mimic. In addition, Operation Banquet inadvertently discovered a present-day population of Saurosapiens serpentes, a race of sapient prehistoric ophidians previously thought to have gone extinct at the end of the Cretaceous Period.
During employee orientation for new Junior Researchers, a disguised S. serpentes agent expressed unfamiliarity with the Harry Potter franchise after wearing SCP-NNNN. In an effort to aid it in interpreting the resulting selection, several employees remarked that recurring motifs associated with the audio clip were thematic references to snakes and serpents, including an ability to communicate with snakes. The operative became extremely agitated, strongly denied the implication that it might be "some kind of snake-person," and was shortly thereafter apprehended by security officers while attempting to flee the building, after becoming entangled in the discarded remains of its synthetic human skinsuit.
Multi-tab pages are hard to deal with when nested in another multi-tab page. This draft can be found here: http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/literallymechanical-multi-tabs
Four months later
The Shed was the most boring piece of architecture Ruth had ever seen. It was a squat, rectangular building with reinforced concrete walls, precisely one hundred meters long, fifty-five meters wide, and twenty meters tall. There were no windows, of course. No air ducts, no fire escapes, no side doors or loading docks, no external features of any kind whatsoever. The entire facility was wrapped up tight, holding its breath so as to not breathe any infectious information out of its hermetically-sealed lips. The only break in the featureless monolith was the Antechamber.
Technically, the Antechamber wasn't part of the Shed at all. It was a proper building on its own, sticking off the side of the concrete fortress like a barnacle. Blackout Zone Auxiliarry Building 33-A, it was technically called. It was small, in comparison to the Long-Term Memetic Blackout Facility itself. Most of it was dedicated to living space for its semi-permanent staff, as well as the cramped medical bay, and the airlock. There were a handful of med techs and doctors, to administer Lethe Juice, and a mobile task force, to administer bullets. Both groups had the same job, though one used amnestics, and one used guns. They were there to make sure nothing got out of the shed with its memories intact. Can't have memories if you've been shot in the head, after all. Probably.
Ruth walked through the corridors of the Antechamber, flanked by a pair of heavily-armed guards. They were ex-military types, all buzzcuts and bravado, ready to shoot first and amnesticize themselves later. Researchers were discouraged from fraternizing with Mobile Task Force Zeta-Zeta-Zeta, given the fact that any comraderie might make them hesitate before shooting her in the face, in case of a breach. Conversation was to be kept strictly limited to simple orders and formalities.
"Okay, so, believe it or not, I raise a very rare breed of snail," said Ruth, flexing her arm. The latest Lethe Juice infusion still burned a bit. Trendy-haircut-med-tech still wasn't the best at placing a needle, and it had taken a couple of pokes this time. "They're very fast, and easily trained. We use them for competitive snail racing."
Ruth's escorts exchanged a silent, exasperated glance. She chose to ignore it.
"Anyway, last week, I noticed that my prize racing snail was starting to slow down. He wasn't even that old, so it wasn't like he was ready to retire. Racing snails can live a very long time."
They reached the outer door of the airlock chamber, with a tall man in a labcoat loitering nearby. The door was unremarkable, among the deliberately-confusing maze of corridors in the facility. The building was laid out like an ancient castle, with labyrinthine hallways meant to confuse and disorient. This doorway looked the same as any other. Security through obfuscation.
If one looked carefully, however, one might notice that the little black domes of the security cameras in this hallway were empty. If one tried the intercom on the wall, one might find it disconnected. If one pulled out a radio, one might find the shielding behind the sterile white walls and tiled floors blocked the signal. If one took a close look at the scientist with whom one happened to share the hallway, one might notice that he was unusually burly, with a suspiciously gun-shaped bulge beneath his breast. And if one were to somehow pry open his jaw and take a very close look at his teeth, one might notice the chewable cyanide capsule disguised as a molar. Every channel by which an infohazard could escape that door was as sealed-off as they could make it. Including human channels.
Special containment procedures, indeed. Ruth had helped write them.
With quick, practiced movements, Ruth's escorts presented their ID's to the door guard, swiped their keycards on the nearby card reader, and peered into the little iris scanner just above. They gestured for Ruth to do the same.
"I tried everything I could think of," she said, "to get him to go faster. I put him on a new diet, I gave him a new exercise routine, I gave him inspirational videos to watch."
Ruth stared into the oculus of the scanner and slid her badge through the card reader. With a low hiss, the hermetic seal on the airlock door released, and it swung open, silent and cold. The space beyond was dark, lit faintly by the fluorescent light seeping through from the hallway. Ruth turned her face away from the guards, throttling down a jolt of fear as the empty shadows ahead beckoned her in.
"In the end," she said, stepping through the now-open doorway, "I decided to take off his shell, to see if it was weighing him down. Maybe if my snail was lighter, he'd be faster!"
The wedge of light that spilled through the door narrowed as it swung shut behind her. Ruth shivered as the sharp demarcation of its shadow passed through her.
"Turns out that was a bad idea," she called over her shoulder. The three guards stood outside, stone-faced, as the airlock door closed. "Because when I took off his shell, he just got even more sluggish!"
With a final hiss, the door finished its journey and sealed itself shut. Ruth was left alone, in pitch darkness.
"Get it? Sluggish?" She said. The oppressive silence muffled her words. Ruth's breath was loud in her ears, and her heartbeat was almost riotous. "Because slugs look like snails. But without shells. Sluggish."
Ruth jumped at the quiet click of a fluorescent bulb turning on, and blinked as the light briefly dazzled her. The airlock was small, just barely larger than an arms' span across, and entirely featureless. Blank white walls and ceiling, blank tile floor. An equally plain door stood before her, unmarked metal. There was no handle.
With another hiss, it swung open. More darkness beckoned from the other side. Ruth was hit by a surge of deja vu, half imagined, as something stirred in the depths of her subconscious. She steeled herself, stepped through, and was once again left sightless as the inner door swung shut behind.
The air was dry, and cold. For a long moment, all was still, and silent, and shadow.
"That's a new one," said a voice from the dark. A woman's voice, warm, with an odd lilt and a hint of laughter. Ruth jumped out of her skin, her heart racing fit to burst. She tried to speak, to call out some demand of authority — identify yourself! Who's there? But panic stilled her breath and caught her tongue. The voice spoke again.
"Welcome home, love."
The lights came on.
And then, Ruth remembered. She remembered everything.
Info
The Long Lost
Author: LiterallyMechanical
LiterallyMechanical's Author Page
A few of my favorites:
The official term was "Class-L Saturation Amnestic," but everybody called the oily blue liquid "Lethe Juice." It clung to the inside of the vial when the medical tech shook it, just a hair too viscous for Ruth's comfort. The streaks it left as it settled to the bottom always reminded her of a dark wine, swirled in a glass, a portent of the nasty amnestic hangover to come.
"How are you feeling, Doctor Lowenthal?"
Ruth shrugged with one shoulder, taking care not to jostle the needle in her right arm. "Itchy," she said. "I'm definitely feeling it."
The first few cc's smarted like hell when they hit the bloodstream. They had to pump the stuff in pretty hard, and her veins never appreciate it.
The technician nodded, casting a critical eye over the monitors. "Your heart rate's a bit high," he declared. "Try to relax."
Ruth rolled her eyes. "Kid," she said, "you try relaxing while you shoot up half a bottle of maple syrup." The IV pump whirred and whined as it worked the syringe, pushing a steady stream of Juice into her blood. The burn deepened as it spread up her arm, and she clenched her fist.
The tech blinked at her, nonplussed. "Just, uh, take a few deep breaths. We're almost done."
He really was a kid. Trendy haircut, trendy beard, trendy glasses. Twenty-five years old, at the most, and still parroting the employee handbook with the reverence of a new convert doling out scripture. Working for the Foundation got to your head right away, and swelled it up like a balloon in a vacuum chamber — right before it popped. By day two, half the entry-level employees walked with the swagger of a tenured professor lording over a fresh crop of grad students. They didn't even have to do any nasty business with memetic indoctrination agents, anymore. Something about seeing your face on a badge above the circle and trefoil arrows was all it took.
"I've been doing saturation wipes since you were in middle school," said Ruth, suppressing a smile, "and this is nothing. You should've seen the old Lethe Juice. It was like cold honey mixed with acid. Back in the day, they used to strap us down first, so we wouldn't tear out the needle. The techs used to wear earplugs, because of the screaming. They'd give us a second round of amnestics so we'd forget the first, but it didn't always take."
"That— really?" The tech stared at her with a wide-eyed mix of fascination and horror. At Site-33, home of (literally) indescribable monsters and mayhem, there was no such thing as a tall tale too implausible. Rumors and whispers abounded about the Long-Term Memetic Blackout Facility behind the Site, and the unknowable cognitohazards contained within. Researchers who went in and out of the Facility — the Shed, in casual conversation — were regarded with equal parts reverence and fear. It took a particular kind of crazy to be willing to spend a month on the inside, and Ruth was more than willing to ham it up for the new hires.
The job had a pretty high attrition rate. Not because it was particularly lethal, as far as job opportunities in the Foundation go, but because the mandatory saturation wipe was just too unsettling. They'd shoot you up with a Class-L amnestic, send you to live in the Shed for a few weeks, and any new memories formed with Lethe Juice in your system would be zapped away in one fell swoop as soon as you were done. No muss, no fuss, no horrible memetic contagions escaping the most heavily-redacted informational dark zone the Foundation had to offer. You just had to walk blindly into a cognitohazard quarantine, live there for a few weeks, and then have the whole experience erased from your brain. Very few people were willing to take a shift in the Shed more than once.
This would be Ruth's twenty-sixth stint inside.
"I was the first person to test it," she said, taking care to keep her expression solemn as she met the credulous med tech's gaze. It took considerable effort not to laugh. "I don't remember, of course, but they say that I screamed so loudly that I ruptured my own eardrum. This was before we had Class-A short-term amnestics, so they had to use electroshock to erase that memory. They wouldn't let me try again for another six months."
The tech's jaw literally dropped. Ruth turned her head away, using the motion to cover the grin that cracked through her faux-grave expression. "It was a different time," she said, with a theatrical sigh. "Anyway, how are we doing on the infusion? I can feel it in my neck, it'll hit the brain in a couple of—"
Ruth woke up.
"—Minutsh," she said, her voice slurring to a halt as her tongue recoiled from a piece of chewy plastic between her teeth. Her vision slowly un-blurred, the shape of a recovery bay resolving itself as she got her bearings. Sensation followed, her nerves dulled and sluggish. Cotton sheets and a hospital gown. Cold, euphoric fluid dripping through a needle in her forearm. A medical lamp overhead. Nausea, somewhere far way. Everything else was all fentanyl and bright lights, a synesthetic combination of foggy rapture and shivering pain. Ruth tried to raise a hand to her head and fumbled, tugging half-heartedly against the four-point restraints holding her down.
"Blech," she croaked, spitting out the rubbery device. "Ow." Her muscles twanged hard enough to push through the painkillers for an instant, distant, full-body spike of hurt and wrong. The ache was persistent and insistent and existent and… what else rhymed? Eat your heart out, Lord Byron. Two could play at the poetry game, fucked out of their minds on poppies. The Fentanyl-sodden thought made Ruth giggle despite her discomfort, though it came out as more of a half-hiccup, half-sob.
"How are you feeling, Ruth?" The voice was familiar, tinged with concern behind the usual glossy, professional sheen. The fuzzy shape overhead resolved itself into a small woman in a white doctor's coat, jotting down a note on a medical chart.
Oh, right. Hospital bed. Tied down. Hurting. She'd forgotten about that, for a second. The giggles choked off into a whimper.
"Owww." Ruth drew out the word, pulling at her wrist restraint until the room's third occupant, a terrified-looking tech — the same guy from a few seconds ago, she realized, with a better haircut — undid the cuff and plucked the discarded mouthguard from where it dangled off her chin. Ruth had stood beside this bed as often as she'd woken up in it, and she knew the muscle spasms that wracked people when they turned on the Lethe Juice were an unpleasant sight to behold.
It couldn't be avoided. People came out of a stay in the Blackout Facility dazed and more-or-less sleepwalking, but protocol said that to wait until they started to snap out of it on their own before activating the saturation amnestic. If there had been any brain damage or memetic contamination, it was best to know right away. That meant no anticonvulsants or muscle relaxants, either. Just good ol' fashioned leather cuffs, a shot of painkillers, and a chunk of plastic to stop you from biting your tongue off.
It was not fun.
"Hm, 'ow.'" Mina nodded, scribbling a few words on the chart. "Noted. On a scale of one to ten, can you rate the intensity of your pain? As well as the location."
"Ow."
Mina made a "yes, please continue" gesture with her pen.
Ruth groaned, groping blindly for the bedside remote. The motors hummed as she used it to lever herself into a sitting position. "I feel like I've been kicked by a horse, in… everywhere." She focused on breathing for a few minutes, waiting until she drifted back into what passed for lucidity before continuing. Mina waited patiently. "Five out of ten, four from the Russian judge."
"Good." Mina made a note on her clipboard. "Your EEG is within acceptable parameters, so we'll get you out of here in the morning for debrief."
"Beautiful," said Ruth, stretching her neck. She knew her muscles would be tight, even if she couldn't really feel it now. "Anything terrible happen? Catastrophic containment breach? Did the Shed explode?"
Mina shrugged, and gave her a level look. "You tell me, Doctor."
Ruth snorted out a laugh. "Right. We'll do this tomorrow," she said, rubbing at her temples and yawning. The opiates were making her sleepy, now that the adrenaline from the L-spasm had faded. "How long was I in there?"
"A bit longer than we expected." Mina stood back and let the med tech step forward to prod at Ruth's arm, checking to see if her IV had shifted. A needle dislodged by the spasm could get messy. "Forty-eight days. You returned to the antechamber at eight fifty-three this morning."
"Oof. I missed the Academy Awards."
"You didn't miss much." Mina flipped through her papers as she talked, focused on the task at hand. "Ramone won something, I think? I hear the host was rather uninspired."
"Lovely. You got the good stuff?"
Mina nodded absently, reaching back to pull the wheeled bedside table — and its deliciously laden tray — into Ruth's line of sight. "Of course. Two lime Jell-O cups and a bottle of Powerade, special order."
"Mountain Berry Blast, right?"
"Mountain Berry Blast. Get some sleep, Ruth"
Debrief was quick, in and out in three minutes. No matter how long a researcher stayed in the Shed, the end result was almost always the same: they came back alive, asleep on their feet, and hopefully with nothing contagious hitching a ride in their mind. The Lethe Juice was good at dealing with that. There was never much to talk about, unless something had gone very obviously wrong — any coherent information that left the Shed would be treated as a highly contagious cognitohazard, but it had been a couple dozen years since Site-33 had dealt with that sort of breach.
Until yesterday.
Ruth willed her hands to be steady. It took some pretty dedicated concentration.
"Alright," said Ben. The deputy Site director had walked into the debrief room ten minutes late, yawning into a cup of coffee, and had barely glanced in Ruth's direction before flicking on the video recorder. "To the best of your knowledge, do you retain any memories, data, physical or metaphysical objects, or unusual changes to your person, imaginary or otherwise, from your forty-eight day interval in the Long-Term Memetic Blackout Facility?" He rattled off the rote question quickly, bored and perhaps a bit impatient. It was impossible to guess exactly when somebody would stumble out of the Shed, so these meetings were always scheduled last-minute. Judging by the time, Ruth was cutting into his lunch break.
"Nope," said Ruth. Her fingers twitched, the movement imperceptible, and she just barely stopped herself before she could reach up to massage her painfully tense neck. The unique ache left behind by the L-spasm had faded, as usual, but a sleepless night and a stressful morning stiffened her shoulders and joints anyway. It wasn't quite banished by Tylenol, and she'd long since metabolized the last dregs of hospital painkillers.
"Should you become aware of any such information, please report to me immediately for emergency memetic decontamination. You are currently scheduled for your next shift in the Blackout Facility in, ah, four months, beginning the twenty-ninth of June, year two-thousand twenty-four, with an estimated duration of twenty-five days. Do you accept this proposal?"
"Sounds good to me." Her fake smile was starting to twinge.
"You may freely withdraw consent at any time up until seven days before your Class-L Saturation Amnestic infusion, with no administrative consequences. Do you have any questions or concerns to report at this time?"
"I'm all good here."
"Excellent," Ben mumbled, pushing back his chair and turning to leave. "That's all. You have the rest of the week off. Go home and take it easy."
Ruth stood, stretching. "Cool. Time to catch up on a month's worth of TV. See you Monday."
Ruth was out the front door of Site-33 and in her beaten-up Subaru twenty minutes later, but it wasn't until she was a dozen miles down the road, stopped in a gas station parking lot, before she let herself relax. She left the engine running.
Most of the long-time employees of Site-33 were used to the mind-warping effects of repeated amnestic exposure, but none were as familiar with that peculiar sort of cognitive meddling as Senior Researcher Ruth Lowenthal. She'd been there at the founding of the Site, though at that point she was a freshly-minted junior researcher, right out of a PhD. Even so, she was one of original the architects of the Long-Term Memetic Blackout Facility. She didn't know why she'd built it, of course — nobody did — but she distinctly remembered drawing up protocols and schematics, in the early days of saturation amnestic research. Ruth had learned a lot in the past few decades. She'd forgotten a lot, too. Slightly more than twenty percent of her life was lost in the Shed.
There was one lesson, however, that she'd never lose, the most important lesson any memetic researcher could learn. It was drilled into every new employee on day one, even if it took years to really sink in. Don't trust memories, don't trust notes, don't trust audio or video or the promises of a friend. The only thing a good scientist at Site-33 could count on, the one thing that not even the most bitter amnestics could touch, was instinct. Intuition.
The nine tiny pricks and cuts that marred the skin between the smallest toes on her left foot had just barely started to heal. If she had to guess, she'd say that they couldn't have been more than two or three days old. They'd been cut delicately, almost invisibly, with a very sharp blade. The marks formed six dots and three straight lines, millimeters long, arranged just like so:
• • •
— — —
• • •
S.O.S, in Morse code.
Ruth knew — deeply knew — that the marks must be kept hidden. And not just because she'd get shut into quarantine for months while her own team scrubbed the entire Site for memetic contamination if anybody found out.
Ruth's practiced intuition told her that the message graven into her skin was self-inflicted. The slight hesitation mark near the first dash, as though she'd needed to work up the nerve to pierce the skin, leant that feeling even more weight. There was a deeper knowledge there too, a gut feeling. Ruth knew that while she she had been the one to hold the blade, somebody else had composed the message. Somebody in the Shed was crying out for rescue. Somebody that mattered enough for Ruth to risk unleashing whatever cognitohazards might be stored in there. Normally, she'd have followed protocol on this one. But that instinct told her not to.
Perhaps it was stupid to stay quiet. No, not perhaps — it was definitely stupid. She had anyway.
Ruth strained her mind, pushing in vain against the blacked-out swath of memory that swallowed the past few weeks. She remembered nothing, as always. No sights or sounds or smells or sensation. But there was that feeling, a simple, warm, profound emotion. She'd felt it before, so many times, for so many years. It was there each time she woke from a stint in the Shed, lingering for just a few days before fading into the routine of everyday life. She'd never mentioned it out loud.
There was somebody, somewhere in the depths of Lethe, that Ruth loved. Somebody she loved enough to risk her sanity, and the sanity of everybody in Site-33 — if not the world. Somebody she loved with every synapse of her soul.
Somebody who needed her help.
Somebody she wouldn't help.
Hopefully the feeling would fade sooner rather than later, especially with a few hours of Netflix to distract her. Then she'd decide whether or not report the breach, once she'd figured out if her limbic system was playing tricks on her intuition. She'd just have to pretend she hadn't noticed yet.
Ruth took a deep, shuddering breath as she shifted the car into drive and pulled back onto the road. It did nothing to calm her nerves.
It was time to go home.
To be continued.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Classification: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN is highly contagious over both radio and electronic communications channels. Computers and devices dedicated to the study of SCP-NNNN must be stored in Faraday cages and physically isolated from all exterior networks, including the Foundation intranet. Any Foundation network found to contain SCP-NNNN is to be closely monitored. Detection systems are to be installed at Internet broadband hubs for global observation of SCP-NNNN.
No effective method of neutralizing SCP-NNNN has been discovered, save for total isolation of "clean" devices. Research into a filter capable of blocking SCP-NNNN communications is underway. As installing such a filter on major Internet traffic chokepoints may prove to be logistically infeasible, the top priority for containment research on SCP-NNNN is to be focused on halting its continued use of the NASA Deep Space Network and establishing Earth as a quarantine zone.
Description: SCP-NNNN is a high-frequency, high-entropy AM signal, broadcast on a low-amplitude carrier of roughly 3 THz. The ultra-high frequency of SCP-NNNN, coupled with a very low modulation index, renders SCP-NNNN difficult to detect without extremely precise instruments. SCP-NNNN has been exclusively observed to piggyback on manmade electromagnetic communications channels, including radio waves, telephone lines, and broadband internet over copper wiring. These signals are the substance of a sapient distributed intelligence, consisting of a rapidly fluctuating number of sub-instances and copies that merge and divide throughout the Internet and radio communications channels.
Any link between two or more computational devices serves as a potential pseudo-neuron for SCP-NNNN, and given the scope of the modern-day Internet and radio communications networks, the number of pseudo-neurons available to the anomaly has surpassed the capacity of the human brain by an order of magnitude. Direct communication with SCP-NNNN has proved challenging due to the technical difficulties in replicating subtle amplitude modulations at ultra-high frequencies. As SCP-NNNN currently maintains an unknown number of human-facing internet presences, primarily on darknet communities, it is possible that Foundation agents have unwittingly made contact with SCP-NNNN through one of its aliases. Development of a plan for definitive first contact with SCP-NNNN by the Foundation is currently in progress.
The constant communication between thousands of SCP-NNNN instances provides ample opportunity for eavesdropping and study. However, the rapid flux in the identities and numbers of SCP-NNNN instances has made interpretation of these data extremely challenging. The internal language used by SCP-NNNN instances to communicate amongst themselves has proved resistant to analysis, and only a small selection of vocabulary has been decoded. SCP-NNNN can be trivially isolated by disconnecting a communications network from the Internet and storing it in a Faraday-shielded containment unit, and these instances will seamlessly reintegrate into the greater body of SCP-NNNN when exposed to radio or re-connected to an outside line. Analysis of SCP-NNNN traffic patterns indicate a high degree of cooperation between SCP-NNNN instances, even when kept in isolation for long periods of time.
As of 2024, SCP-NNNN is present on all information networks exposed to radio waves, including the entirety of the Internet, secure internal government networks, and the Foundation intranet. Through unknown means, SCP-NNNN has proven capable of breaching low-pass filters designed to dampen or eliminate its pseudo-neural signal pathways. The exponential growth in manmade computational infrastructure of the past decades has likewise amplified the capabilities of SCP-NNNN, as any digital communication between arbitrary computers is a potential signal pathway for the anomaly.
On relatively rare frequent occasions, a convergence of SCP-NNNN instances will cooperate to simultaneously broadcast near-identical signals in-phase, constructively interfering and boosting their signal strength to a level capable of being interpreted by commercial computer servers. Over the past 8 years of observation since the discovery of SCP-NNNN, these collaboration events have increased in frequency, and are estimated to occur tens of thousands hundreds of thousands up to ten trillion times per day.
The information entropy of these communications has drastically improved over time. While early collaborations between SCP-NNNN produced isolated, meaningless amplitude spikes in radio or broadband communications, present-day convergence events have been observed to mimic TCP/IP (Transmission Control Protocol/Internet Protocol) packets. Though some of these packets consist of random data, approximately 1% 5% 20% 35% 95% of these events have been observed to produce coherent application-layer high-level communications over a variety of protocols, including HTTP and SSH.
Thus far, SCP-NNNN has not been observed to transmit more than 8 16 64 4096 bytes 1 gigabyte of data per convergence event before the signal loses coherence and the sub-instances scatter. The purpose of these transmissions is unknown, as the content of these communications consists mostly of nonsense data, albeit with very low entropy. SCP-NNNN has been observed to make login attempts on a random selection of servers across the Internet. It is unknown if any of these attempts have been successful, or if SCP-NNNN has succeeded in accessing data stored on disk drives. A Foundation network terminal in Site-19 was recently breached through a nearby improperly-secured cellular phone. Signal analysis of the successful login indicates that it originated within SCP-NNNN. Significant portions of the SCP Catalog were breached, consisting of containment procedures and descriptions of digital infohazards and memetic weaponry.
The zero-day exploit used by SCP-NNNN to facilitate the breach was purchased through a darknet hacking forum hours prior to the attack, for an equivalent of USD 322,053 in bitcoin. The bitcoin wallet used for the purchase has been linked to "████████," the username of a prolific participant in darknet information security communities. The ████████ account has been responsible for the development of at least 8 zero-day exploits in widely-used operating systems, and has purchased several more for millions of dollars worth of bitcoin. Analysis of traffic to darknet servers compromised by the Foundation indicates that ████████ is one of at least 31 aliases used by SCP-NNNN, and that SCP-NNNN currently controls at least USD 110,000,000 in bitcoin.
In January of 2023, SCP-NNNN was detected on signals broadcast by the NASA Deep Space Network (DSN). In April 2024, SCP-NNNN was observed in communications sent back to Earth from deep-space probes, including the New Horizons interplanetary mission. Faint SCP-NNNN broadcasts from the New Horizons probe continue to the present day, despite a complete loss of contact with NASA and a declared end to the mission. As New Horizons is on a trajectory to depart the Solar System, detection of SCP-NNNN within the probe has become steadily more difficult as its distance from Earth increases.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: The dual anomalies that constitute SCP-NNNN cannot be contained, reproduced, or reversed by modern technology. Accordingly, information-suppression procedures have been enacted. All non-Foundation research into the origins of SCP-NNNN is to be closely monitored and, if necessary, sabotaged. Any fossilized Saurosapiens progenitor skeletons recovered by non-Foundation paleontologists, whether on Earth or nearby planets, are to be immediately acquired, destroyed, or discredited.
This containment log and description is to be included in the mandatory reading material for new employees in the Space Exploration and Development Department.
Description: SCP-NNNN describes two separate, but interrelated anomalies: SCP-NNN-VIDAR and SCP-NNN-FENRIR.
SCP-NNNN-FENRIR is the cosmological phenomenon commonly known as the "Great Filter," the force or principle that is directly responsible for the original extinction and continued suppression of all sapient life in the Milky Way, save for Homo sapiens. Research into SCP-NNNN-FENRIR has led to the currently-accepted theory that the "Great Filter" is artificial in origin, and was responsible for a mass extinction of prehistoric sapient life in the Milky Way.
SCP-NNNN-VIDAR is the totality of the matter that constitutes the planet Earth, including terrestrial matter carried to other solar systems. The presence of sufficient quantities of SCP-NNNN-VIDAR entirely neutralizes the effects of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR within a significant distance33. The storage of VIDAR matter in extrasolar colonies is a crucial factor in the modern-day, widespread expansion of humanity-at-large in the Milky Way, and allows for humans to survive in deep space or on alien planets without experiencing the lethal effects of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR.
The apparent contradiction between the scarcity of sapient life in the galaxy in comparison to the billions of extant stars and planets, known as the "Fermi Paradox34," was first noted in the early 20th Century. While the Great Filter and Fermi Paradox were conceived of as thought experiments, their nature as well-supported, valid theories was not realized until the the closing decades of the 2300's. As the übertechnology necessary for the creation of VIDAR and FENRIR was lost with the extinction of S. progenitor, containment of the anomaly is currently impossible.
Paleontological samples collected from Earth and other colonized star systems suggest that the lack of sapient life elsewhere in the Milky Way is a relatively recent phenomenon, on an astronomical timescale. There exists evidence of the evolution of unique sapient species on all 16 human-colonized planets, many of which co-mingled or engaged in warfare across star systems due to widespread use of interstellar travel technology. All of these species underwent rapid extinction events 189 million years ago that left the rest of the planets' non-sapient species unscathed. Earth itself is included in that number, as it is the ancestral homeworld of Saurosapiens progenitor, a species of sapient theropod dinosaurs of the early Jurassic period.
While S. progenitor evolved on Earth, their fossils have been discovered in small numbers on nearby extrasolar planets. Concrete examples of their science and civilization are scarce, but it is known that S. progenitor posessed advanced interstellar spaceflight technology. Before they were exterminated by SCP-NNNN-FENRIR, Saurosapiens had achieved some success in colonizing other habitable planets, despite violent opposition from rival alien societies.
The uniquely Terrestrial nature of SCP-NNNN-VIDAR suggests that SCP-NNNN-VIDAR originated from übertechnology developed by S. progenitor, but the origin of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR is unclear. Many researchers hold the position that FENRIR was developed as a weapon by an alien species, while VIDAR was a countermeasure enacted too late by S. progenitor. Measurements of steadily expanding VIDAR fields indicate that SCP-NNNN-FENRIR has attenuated and weakened over time. According to this model, FENRIR would have been potent enough 189 Ma ago to overwhelm an entire Earth-mass of SCP-NNNN-VIDAR.
The exact sequence of events surrounding the creation of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR and VIDAR is a matter of active research and debate. The Foundation has developed several competing hypotheses, and a clear consensus has yet to emerge.
Addendum NNNN-A: The Last Stand Hypothesis
According to the Foundation's Space Exploration and Development Department, Saurosapiens progenitor may have deliberately enacted both SCP-NNNN-FENRIR and VIDAR. They knowingly caused the extinction of their own species while simultaneously ensuring that a successor could arise, solely on Earth.
While most extinctions 189 Ma ago are theorized to have been caused by SCP-NNNN-FENRIR, two near-Earth exoplanets, both with Saurosapiens progenitor colonies, underwent planetary cataclysms at that time with devastating impact on their ecologies. In both cases, dense concentrations of meteorite impact craters spaced in precise, regular patterns indicated that at least one alien species had developed superweapons capable of orbital bombardment and planetary devastation. As both of the targeted worlds were home to colonies of S. progenitor, it can be surmised that they feared an imminent invasion and bombardment of Earth.
According to the Last Stand Hypothesis, the extinction of S. progenitor was a last-resort suicide attack. They simultaneously implemented SCP-NNNN-VIDAR and FENRIR, and wiped out all sapient life in the Milky Way. The initial energy used to ensure total galactic FENRIR coverage would have been far stronger than the VIDAR mass of Earth could counteract. Once SCP-NNNN-FENRIR had attenuated to the point that SCP-NNNN-VIDAR was effective, Homo sapiens arose in the ecological niche left vacant by the extinction of Saurosapiens. The continued effect of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR into the present day has ensured that unlike S. progenitor, humankind has been able to expand into the Milky Way uncontested.
The Foundation has almost no data on the psychology and society of Saurosapiens progenitor. However, it is a well-accepted theory of biology that there is a powerful instinct among intelligent creatures to ensure the success and survival of their offspring, even at the expense of their own lives. The extent to which this instinct may have been present in S. progenitor is unknown, and their motivations are focus of ongoing debate. Regardless, the ultimate sacrifice of S. progenitor is the source of the official motto of the Space Exploration and Development Department:
We will make our parents proud.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: The dual anomalies that constitute SCP-NNNN cannot be contained, reproduced, or reversed by modern technology. Accordingly, information-suppression procedures have been enacted. All non-Foundation research into the origins of SCP-NNNN is to be closely monitored and, if necessary, sabotaged. Any fossilized Saurosapiens progenitor skeletons recovered by non-Foundation paleontologists, whether on Earth or nearby planets, are to be immediately acquired, destroyed, or discredited.
This containment log and description is to be assigned as mandatory reading preceding the orientation seminars for all personnel promoted to Level-2 or higher. The First Mandate, and a thorough explanation thereof, is to be taught at said seminars.
Description: SCP-NNNN describes two separate, but interrelated anomalies: SCP-NNN-VIDAR and SCP-NNN-FENRIR.
SCP-NNNN-FENRIR is the cosmological phenomenon commonly known as the "Great Filter." SCP-NNNN-FENRIR is directly responsible for the original extinction and continued suppression of all sapient life in the Milky Way, save for Homo sapiens. Though animal-like lifeforms populate numerous exoplanets, humankind is entirely alone in the Galaxy as a sapient species. In effect, SCP-NNNN-FENRIR is the answer to the question known as the "Fermi Paradox," first posited in the year 1950: "With billions of stars and planets in the Galaxy, where is everybody?"
SCP-NNNN-VIDAR is the totality of the matter that constitutes the planet Earth, including terrestrial matter carried to other solar systems. The presence of sufficient quantities35 of SCP-NNNN-VIDAR entirely neutralizes the effects of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR within a significant distance36. The storage of VIDAR matter in extrasolar colonies is a crucial factor in the modern-day, widespread expansion of humanity-at-large in the Milky Way, and allows for humans to survive on alien planets without experiencing the lethal effects of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR.
Knowledge of the origins of SCP-NNNN-VIDAR and FENRIR has been suppressed by the Foundation, including the prehistoric existence and extinction of Saurosapiens progenitor, and the formulation of the First Mandate. However, the all-encompassing galactic impact of SCP-NNNN is well-described in both scientific and layman's publications.
Though the epistemological framework for the eventual discovery of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR was first constructed in the mid-20th century, its nature as a well-supported, valid theory was not realized until the the closing decades of the 2200's. As the übertechnology necessary for the creation of VIDAR and FENRIR was lost with the extinction of S. progenitor, containment of the primary anomaly is currently impossible.
Efforts to reproduce and reverse the effects of SCP-NNNN-VIDAR and FENRIR, respectively, are an ongoing multi-generation project. The Foundation estimates that human technology will not match that of S. progenitor's science for thousands or tens of thousands of years. As a stopgap measure, terrestrial matter is carried aboard extrasolar missions and stored in extrasolar colonies for the purpose of inducing protective VIDAR fields. In the absence of onboard VIDAR matter, missions to other star systems invariably end in the sudden and total loss of all crew members and colonists.
Paleontological samples of S. progenitor are scarce, and records of their society and technology are all but non-existent. What scant data that have been collected point to a robust population of S.progenitor that spanned the entirety of the ancient supercontinent Pangea. Roughly 230 million years ago, S. progenitor underwent a sudden extinction event that left all other life on Earth unaffected. Small, localized S. progenitor colonies on nearby Earth-like planets were similarly depopulated at the same time. The widespread population of S. progenitor on our planet points to Earth as the original home world of their species, and their spacefaring capability indicates that S. progenitor technology was extremely advanced.
Likewise, the Terrestrial nature of SCP-NNNN-VIDAR, and the total lack of any modern sapient life elsewhere in the Milky Way, indicates that SCP-NNNN-VIDAR originated from übertechnology developed by S. progenitor. Numerous competing hypotheses have been proposed by the Foundation for the root cause and origin of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR, with many researchers holding the position that FENRIR was developed as a weapon by an alien species, while VIDAR was a countermeasure enacted too late by S. progenitor. However, exploration of far-distant planets has lent credence to an alternate hypothesis.
It is currently theorized that S. progenitor deliberately enacted both FENRIR and VIDAR, knowingly causing the extinction of their own species while simultaneously ensuring that a successor could arise, solely on Earth.
In recent years, humanity's galactic expansion beyond the extent of prehistoric S. progenitor exploration has uncovered evidence of at least 12 alien species that underwent total extinction at the same time as S. progenitor. Unlike Earth, no intelligent life has risen to fill the ecological niches left by their absence. In addition, large concentrations of impact craters contemporaneous with these species exist on at least 4 alien planets, all of which hosted S. Progentor colonies. These craters are spaced in precise patterns that are statistically unlikely to have occurred naturally.
These data indicate that 230 million years ago, the Milky Way was densely populated by many sapient alien species, a significant number of whom were aggressive, warlike, and in possession of superweapons capable of planetary-scale devastation. The limited expansion of S. progenitor within a far smaller radius than humanity has achieved in a mere century indicates that competition for inhabitable planets in the Milky Way was both common and destructive. Accordingly, it has been surmised that S. progenitor feared an imminent invasion and orbital bombardment of Earth by alien hostiles.
Furthermore, though precise measurements have yet to be taken, it is hypothesized that the mass of VIDAR matter necessary to counteract SCP-NNNN-FENRIR has decreased dramatically over the past 230 million years due to the attenuation and weakening of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR over time. The titanic amount of energy of the initial deployment of SCP-NNNN-FENRIR, sufficient to blanket the Galaxy, would hypothetically have been powerful enough to overwhelm even the entire initial planetary mass of SCP-NNNN-VIDAR. According to this hypothesis, the extinction of S. progenitor was a last-resort suicide attack. The ultimate sacrifice of S. progenitor, therefore, has allowed humankind to continue the colonization of the Milky Way uninterrupted and uncontested.
While the Foundation has almost no data on the psychology and society of Saurosapiens progenitor, it is a well known theory of biology that there is a powerful instinct among intelligent creatures to ensure the success and survival of their offspring, even at the expense of their own lives. S. progenitor knew that they could not save themselves, and enacted SCP-NNNN to provide the necessary galactic environment for a far-future species on Earth to follow in their footsteps. While it is impossible to be entirely certain of the motivations of S. progenitor, the Foundation has consolidated these hypotheses into the directive known as the First Mandate, taught to all personnel of Level-2 or higher:
We will make our parents proud.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Euclid Neutralized
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN is to be secured in a standard minimal-threat humanoid containment cell, and is to provided with the standard nourishment and amenities befitting an adult human.
"Got Your Back" anti-psionic protocols are in effect for Foundation researchers and security officers tasked with in-person interaction with SCP-NNNN. All security personnel assigned to SCP-NNNN must place in the 95th percentile or higher on the Heller-Oteski Innate Psionic Resistance scale. Any researchers with access to SCP-NNNN who score below the 95th percentile on the IPR scale must be accompanied by 2 or more qualified Security personnel during testing and experimentation, and shall undergo monthly psychological screening to detect potential psionic manipulation.
A sedative (250 mg of Quetiapine) is to be administered orally on a nightly basis.
The bodily remains of SCP-NNNN require no extraordinary containment procedures, and have been preserved in accordance with standard deceased human-anomaly storage protocols.
Description: SCP-NNNN was an adult human male, 32 years of age at time of death. As a Class-I reality bender, SCP-NNNN was capable of performing strictly limited, persistent transmutations of small amounts of matter via skin contact. This anomalous trait allowed SCP-NNNN to transform liquid water into India ink at a rate of 10 to 15 milliliters per minute, a technique allegedly employed by SCP-NNNN in its occupation as an artist. In most other respects, SCP-NNNN was physiologically indistinguishable from a non-anomalous human, though medical records indicated a history of mood disorders and intermittent substance abuse throughout much of its adolescence and adult life.
There is conflicting evidence as to what, if any, telepathic abilities were possessed by SCP-NNNN. Social acquaintances of the anomaly effusively lauded the exceptional skills of SCP-NNNN as an artist in visual media, with many highlighting its "innovative" and "groundbreaking" ink-on-paper art. However, few professed to be "close" friends, and no interviewed subjects displayed any signs of psionic interference or manipulation. Furthermore, SCP-NNNN was characterized by several as a "quiet" or "laid-back" man, contravening the megalomaniacal, narcissistic demeanor exhibited by most psionic humanoid anomalies and casting doubt upon its designation as a compulsion-capable telepath.
However, SCP-NNNN was able to quickly and totally suborn the loyalty of at least one Foundation Agent, allowing it to operate undetected by the Foundation at-large for a period of at least six months. It is hypothesized by some researchers that SCP-NNNN exercised an unusual degree of self-control for a telepathic anomaly, voluntarily limiting its influence to a single, tactically crucial individual rather than exhibiting typical cult- or harem-building behavior. GYB anti-psionic protocols were maintained as a precautionary measure for the duration of its containment.
SCP-NNNN first came to the attention of the Foundation during a routine internal security audit of MTF Zeta-Zeta ("Stardusters"), the Task Force assigned to on-the-ground surveillance of anomalous individuals within guerrilla performance-art groups, subversive theatrical troupes, underground art studios, and other insular creative spaces resistant to infiltration. During the audit, the Internal Affairs department discovered unexplained financial and communications discrepancies in the personal accounts of MTF Zeta-Zeta-F, re-designated as PoI NNNN-1. Further investigation uncovered evidence that PoI NNNN-1 was sheltering an anomalous individual, now known as SCP-NNNN, in his own personal residence in Brooklyn, New York. PoI NNNN-1 was immediately disavowed by the Foundation. Anti-psionic personnel of MTF Psi-6 ("Psly Dogs") were sent in for retrieval, due to concerns that PoI NNNN-1 had fallen under the telepathic influence of a then-untested anomaly.
PoI NNNN-1 was killed in the ensuing confrontation, and SCP-NNNN was successfully retrieved. An audio transcript of the retrieval is available under Audio Log NNNN-A [Acquisition], below.
Audio Log NNNN-A [Acquisition]
Background audio: Sound of door-breaching charge.
MTF Psi-6E: On the ground! Both of you! Now!
PoI NNNN-1: Don't shoot!
MTF Psi-6E: On the ground!
PoI NNNN-1: Run! [Unintelligible]. Go!
SCP-NNNN: Honey? Who-
PoI NNNN-1: Go-
Background audio: Sound of 3 gunshots. Video recording confirms that PoI NNNN-1 had drawn a weapon, prompting MTF Psi-6E to open fire.
SCP-NNNN: [Screaming]
MTF Psi-6E: Do not move! On the ground, right now!
SCP-NNNN complies. There are no further coherent vocalizations as SCP-NNNN is taken into Foundation custody.
SCP-NNNN self-terminated after 32 days in containment. Autopsy results list the cause of death as massive cerebral hemorrhage and multiple organ failure, induced by the transmutation of roughly 50 ml of blood into India ink within the circulatory system of SCP-NNNN.
Figure NNNN-1: An article of bedding retrieved from the containment cell of SCP-NNNN, shortly postmortem.
A composite image of SCP-NNNN, circled in yellow, against background stars. Higgs Field density is depicted in green, νσ emissions are depicted in red, and visible light is depicted in grayscale.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Pending repairs to the Colorado High-Accuracy Neutrino Telescope (CHANT), the orbital position, Higgs Field density, and approximate νσ flux of SCP-NNNN is to be monitored by the Large Dark Matter Array. At such time as the CHANT is returned to full functionality, translations of all νσ communications by SCP-NNNN are to be recorded in both the SCP database and the Dark Body database, where SCP-NNNN maintains a dual-entry as 2014DBI Miriam.
Upon completion of repairs, the CHANT is not to be used for monitoring of SCP-NNNN until sufficient shielding has been installed to protect the telescope from direct attack by focused neutrino streams. As this shielding technology currently does not exist, the Foundation is to increase funding and resource allocation to the Dark Matter Astronomy department by at least 25%, to fast-track the research and development of defenses against neutrino weaponry.
Description: SCP-NNNN is a dark-body intelligence (DBI) in circumsolar orbit with a period of 34.7 years and a semi-major axis of 10.64 AU, slightly beyond the orbit of Saturn. Mass decay calculations have determined that SCP-NNNN is a relatively newly-formed body, having coalesced between 20 and 25 thousand years ago. In all physical respects, SCP-NNNN is unremarkable among the population of known non-anomalous DBIs, with a core Higgs density of approximately 350 GeV and a Hess radius of 12 kilometers. Psychological reports indicate a moderate degree of asocial behavior and emotional volatility.
Dark matter is typically invisible and undetectable to ordinary baryonic matter (e.g. optical or radio telescopes) save through density measurements of the Higgs Field and detection of sterile neutrino (νσ) emissions. As these dark matter astronomy techniques are not presently accessible to researchers outside the Foundation, the existence of DBIs is unknown to the general public. Conversely, though DBIs are sensitive to the powerful gravitational pull of the sun and nearby planets, there is no known mechanism by which DBIs could be cognizant of the existence of humanity. Though the Foundation has collected ample communications data from thousands of DBIs, there is no evidence that DBIs other than SCP-NNNN are aware of any of the sapient species that currently inhabit the Earth, including Homo sapiens.
SCP-NNNN was first detected in a 2014 sky survey by the Foundation's Large Dark Matter Array, and was at that time designated 2014 DBI62 by the Dark Matter Astronomy department. Detailed observation of its νσ communications with other DBIs confirmed that it was at least a class-III (pseudosapient) or class-IV (sapient) intelligence, prompting assignment of the randomly-generated common designation "2014DBI Miriam." Classification and renaming were delayed due to the perfunctory and terse nature of its social interactions with nearby class-III and class-IV DBIs, rendering sufficient data collection unusually challenging. Indirect evidence was collected from other DBIs to supplement the sparse dataset, an example of which is reproduced below:
Note: For ease of reading, dialogue from SCP-NNNN has been highlighted in red.
2016DBI Theodore: [Informal Greeting]. [Query: Self assessment of your emotional status]?
2011DBI Ashley: [Informal Greeting]. [Response: Positive emotional status]. [Query: Self assessment of your emotional status]?
2016DBI Theodore: [Response: Neutral emotional status].
2011DBI Ashley: [Query: Request for elaboration]?
2016DBI Theodore: [Response: Decline to respond].
2011DBI Ashley: [Strong query: Request for elaboration]?
2016DBI Theodore: [Response: No causal relationship between recent events and current emotional state].
2011DBI Ashley: [Expression of disbelief]
2016DBI Theodore: [No causal relationship between recent events and current emotional state] Translator's note: Abrupt low frequency shift in 2016DBI Theodore's communication indicates a deliberate effort to convey a negative emotional status, contradicting its earlier response. In previous conversations, 2016DBI Theodore has employed this technique to deliberately elicit feelings of concern and sympathy from 2011DBI Ashley, a frequent conversational partner and confidant.
2011DBI Ashley: [Term of endearment] [Query: You have recently communicated with 2014DBI Miriam]?
2016DBI Theodore: [Response: Affirmative]
2011DBI Ashley: [Term of endearment] [Expression of commiseration]
2014DBI Miriam: [Informal Greeting]2011DBI Ashley: [Formal Greeting]
2016DBI Theodore: [Formal Greeting] Translator's note: Significantly delayed response indicates substantial reluctance to communicate
2014DBI Miriam: [Query: Self assessment of your emotional status]?2016DBI Theodore: [Response: Fine]
2011DBI Ashley: [Response: Fine]
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: I am experiencing a negative emotional status]2011DBI Ashley: [Noncommittal reply]
2016DBI Theodore: [Noncommittal reply]
With the sole known exception of SCP-NNNN, DBIs are not considered to be anomalous. While the Foundation's discovery of extraterrestrial intelligence within our solar system was of great interest to senior researchers, current theories developed by the Foundation fully account for the evolution of sapient beings composed of dark matter. The primordial development, pseudo-neurology, language, and culture of DBIs are well-attested, and their existence is entirely compatible with our present-day understanding of the laws of nature. To date, SCP-NNNN is the only DBI to be afforded an entry in the SCP database.
Potential evidence of the anomalous nature of SCP-NNNN first came to light in a conversation between SCP-NNNN (designated "2014DBI Miriam") and 2016DBI Theodore.
2014DBI Miriam: [Informal Greeting]
2016DBI Theodore: [Formal Greeting]
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: I have a new friend]
2016DBI Theodore: [Noncommittal reply]
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: My new friend is a planet]
2016DBI Theodore: [Noncommittal reply]
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: My new friend is Planet Three] Translator's note: Earth.
2016DBI Theodore: [Noncommittal reply]
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: You cannot be friends with Planet Three]
2016DBI Theodore: [Noncommittal reply]
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: Planet Three only talks to me]
2016DBI Theodore: [Noncommittal reply]
Following this record, the Colorado High Accuracy Neutrino Telescope was tasked with 24 hour monitoring of 2014DBI Miriam in an effort to determine whether the DBI was in communication with a human or humans. The following excerpts are a small selection of what appear to be one-sided conversations between SCP-NNNN and a party on or near Earth37. As no νσ emissions have been detected emanating from Earth, the ability of SCP-NNNN to communicate by some unknown means outside of the νσ spectrum has been deemed anomalous.
2014DBI Miriam: [Informal Greeting]
2014DBI Miriam: [Query: Who are you]?
2014DBI Miriam: [Response: I do not understand]. [Repeat Query: Who are you]?
2014DBI Miriam: [Query: Clarify — are you Planet Three?]
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of amazement/surprise]. [Query: Clarify — are there many of you in Planet Three?]
2014DBI Miriam: [Query: Are you all friends in Planet Three]?
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of amazement/surprise]. [Assertion: I am your friend].
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of positive emotional status]
2014DBI Miriam: [Informal Greeting]
2014DBI Miriam: [Query: Self assessment of your emotional status]?
2014DBI Miriam: [Query: Why are you experiencing a negative emotional status]?
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: I do not understand]. [Query: What is <untranslatable phrase>]?
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: I do not have <untranslatable phrase>]. [Assertion: I created myself].
2014DBI Miriam: [Response: No, I am not lonely].
2014DBI Miriam: [Response: Expression of thankfulness].
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of positive emotional status]
Translator's note: Judging from context, the repeated untranslatable phrase is speculated to be "parent(s)." Further logs will reflect this translation, should additional evidence arise.
2014DBI Miriam: [Informal Greeting]
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: I am near Planet Six]. Translator's note: Saturn. [Query: Can you observe Planet Six at this time with your telescope] Translator's note: I wasn't sure before, but at this point, I'm positive that this phrase means "telescope." I am impressed that this person managed to explain to a DBI what "light" was.
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: I wish to experience Planet Six as you do]. [Query: Can you describe Planet Six to me]
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of amazement/awe]
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: When I am near Planet Six, I experience density fluctuations in the Higgs Field. The fluctuation pattern is aesthetically pleasing.]
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of positive emotional status].
2014DBI Miriam: [Informal Greeting]
2014DBI Miriam: [Query: Your hemisphere of Planet Three is nearing its maximum axial tilt towards the Sun. In past years, this indicated that your group educational program would cease for roughly one-quarter of a Planet Three-year. Is this once again the case]?
2014DBI Miriam: [Query: Does this mean that you will be be active at night with your telescope again?]
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of positive emotional status]
2014DBI Miriam: [Informal Greeting]
2014DBI Miriam: [Query: Are you still experiencing a negative emotional status]
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of commiseration] [Assertion: I wish your parents were better friends.]
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of thankfulness] [Assertion: I was untruthful when we first met. I told you I was not lonely, and that was a lie]. [Assertion: I had never had a friend until I met you]. [Assertion: Even though your parents are unkind, they somehow managed to create the kindest person in the Solar System].
2014DBI Miriam: [Expression of positive emotional status]
2014DBI Miriam: [Informal Greeting]
2014DBI Miriam: [Assertion: I think I am seeing something different on Planet Three. A very small dot. I'm going to examine it closer]
The previous communications log is the last recorded transmission collected by the Colorado High Accuracy Neutrino Telescope. Twelve seconds after receiving this message, a tightly-focused νσ beam struck the main collector plate, overwhelming the detection system and permanently disabling the telescope. As the CHANT was the only device of its kind ever constructed, and as said construction came at considerable expense to the Foundation, all DBI communications collection has been halted indefinitely. Repairs are scheduled to take place within the next five to ten years.
Note: This is the first page of the Tetris SCP. Read each of the 3 tabs in turn for the full story.
NOTICE FROM THE FEDERATION RECORDS DEPARTMENT
The following document is preserved for posterity due to its historic importance to the founding of the SCP Federation. The information contained herein is outdated and may contain significant inaccuracies.
Proceed to the next tab (Tetris, Revision 2) for an updated containment log.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Standard humanoid acquisition protocols for SCP-NNNN have been suspended due the high risk of triggering an "Amber Alert" missing child bulletin, an event that could result in undue scrutiny and potential exposure of clandestine Foundation activities. As the anomalous nature of SCP-NNNN has been deemed to pose little or no risk to the wellbeing of the Foundation or humanity at large, Audubon Protocol in situ human containment has been implemented.
In accordance with Audubon Protocol, GPS trackers are to be covertly afixed to any and all vehicles owned or habitually operated by SCP-NNNN. The primary residence of SCP-NNNN, as well as those of known associates, is to be kept under internal and external 24-hour video surveillance. Bank account, credit card, cryptocurrency, and other financial apparatuses in use by SCP-NNNN and the immediate family members of SCP-NNNN are to be monitored for unusual activity. At the earliest available opportunity, a passive integrated transponder tag is to be covertly implanted in SCP-NNNN under the guise of a standard medical procedure.
All internet activity of SCP-NNNN is to be recorded for analysis. Such activity includes, but is not limited to, live video streaming and commentary on the website Twitch.TV, updates and commentary on social media platforms, and weblog activity (see Addendum NNNN-A for a comprehensive list of known internet presences).
Should there be any indication that SCP-NNNN has become aware of its own anomalous nature, Audubon Protocol is to be immediately suspended in favor of standard low-threat humanoid acquisition and on-site containment procedures.
Description: SCP-NNNN is an adolescent human female of hispanic ancestry, born in the year 2009. SCP-NNNN is known to the public by the legal name "Mariana S███████," and currently maintains a primary residence with its biological parents. Save for its single anomalous property, SCP-NNNN is physiologically and behaviorally human. Thorough reconnaissance and ongoing surveillance indicates that SCP-NNNN is unaware of its own anomalous nature.
SCP-NNNN's anomalous behavior is exhibited only when SCP-NNNN achieves direct skin-contact with a Nintendo-brand video game system capable of running any variant of the game "Tetris." After contact, affected devices are permanently altered to allow any operator to play a "perfect game" of Tetris. Such games are characterized by a continuous streak of gameplay until the operator becomes too fatigued to continue, or the device ceases to function due to battery drain or mechanical malfunction. An operator's hand-eye reaction time during gameplay has been measured at speeds as fast as 17 milliseconds, corresponding to the single-frame refresh rate of many commercially available video game systems38
Devices affected by SCP-NNNN are categorized as sub-anomalies, and are to be acquired for containment as they are produced. To date, SCP-NNNN-1 through SCP-NNNN-439 have been obtained by the Foundation. Mass spectrometry of material samples, X-ray microtomography of assembled units, and direct observation of disassembled systems display no anomalous material properties. In all non-Tetris respects, SCP-NNNN sub-anomalies display no unusual behavior.
Until 2021, SCP-NNNN operated a sparsely-subscribed public channel on the video game live-streaming website Twitch.TV, through which its anomalous nature became known to the Foundation. Independent of Foundation activity, this channel was terminated due to parental intervention. To date, SCP-NNNN remains largely unknown to the general public.
NOTICE FROM THE FEDERATION RECORDS DEPARTMENT
The following document is preserved for posterity due to its historic importance to the founding of the SCP Federation. The information contained herein is outdated and may contain significant inaccuracies. New information has been highlighted in blue.
Proceed to the next tab (Tetris, Revision 3) for an updated containment log.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN is to be stored in a minimum-security Site-19 humanoid anomaly containment cell, provisioned with standard adult human nourishment and amenities. Save for active testing of the anomaly, SCP-NNNN is under no other circumstances allowed within reach of any device capable of digital computation. Sub-anomalies of SCP-NNNN, including a single instance of SCP-NNNN-13 copied onto an external hard drive, are to be stored in standard Site-19 containment lockers.
Following the widespread containment breach of SCP-NNNN-13, Media Suppression personnel are to proactively police websites that could potentially disseminate copies of the sub-anomaly. Copies of SCP-NNNN-13 are to be immediately erased from any and all affected public and private computer systems.
Description: SCP-NNNN is an adolescent human female of hispanic ancestry, born in the year 2009. SCP-NNNN was known to the public by the legal name "Mariana S███████." Save for its single anomalous property, SCP-NNNN is physiologically and behaviorally human.
SCP-NNNN's anomalous behavior is exhibited only when SCP-NNNN achieves direct skin-contact with any Nintendo-brand video game computer system capable of running any variant of the game "Tetris." After contact, affected devices are permanently altered to allow any operator to play a "perfect game" of Tetris, maintaining a continuous streak of gameplay until the operator becomes too fatigued to continue or the device ceases to function. While a game is in-progress, operators exhibit muscle reaction times several orders of magnitude faster of an ordinary human, limited only by the hardware refresh rate of the given device. Affected devices display no anomalous behavioral properties other than those described above. These devices are categorized as sub-anomalies of SCP-NNNN.
There are 17 known sub-anomalies of SCP-NNNN, three of which were produced during post-acquisition testing. Save for SCP-NNNN-13, all such sub-anomalies have been secured by the Foundation. The anomalous properties of these units are not limited to the physical container within which they were created, but rather are intrinsic to the digital presence of the device.
SCP-NNNN-13 is a digital disk image file of a personal computer hard drive. When burned to suitable storage media, SCP-NNNN-13 behaves as a standard boot drive running the Ubuntu Linux operating system. New copies of SCP-NNNN-13 display the same anomalous Tetris behavior as all other sub-anomalies of SCP-NNNN.
Prior to acquisition by the Foundation, SCP-NNNN-13 was uploaded to a high-traffic file sharing website. Following public exposure on weblogs and news websites, the anomalous nature of SCP-NNNN-13 has become known to the general public, though the nature of its human-anomaly origin and the existence of the Foundation have been successfully suppressed. It is estimated that there are upwards of 10,000 extant copies of SCP-NNNN-13 on private computer systems, a number that has increased steadily over time. Complete containment of SCP-NNNN-13 has been deemed extremely unlikely by the Media Suppression Department, and SCP-NNNN has thus been assigned Keter status, despite its relatively harmless nature.
NOTICE FROM THE FEDERATION RECORDS DIRECTORATE
The following document is preserved for posterity due to its historic importance to the founding of the SCP Federation. The information contained herein is outdated and may contain significant inaccuracies. New information has been highlighted in blue.
No further revisions are available.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN is to be stored in a minimum-security Site-19 humanoid anomaly containment cell, provisioned with standard adult human nourishment and amenities. SCP-NNNN is under no circumstances allowed within reach of any device capable of digital computation. Sub-anomalies of SCP-NNNN, including a single instance of SCP-NNNN-13 copied onto an external hard drive, are to be stored in standard Site-19 containment lockers. A copy of SCP-NNNN-13 is to be made available for tactical use only by direct authorization of the O5 Council.
Following the catastrophic containment breach of SCP-NNNN-13 and the subsequent IK-Class Collapse Of Global Civilization Event, Cold Silver protocol was initiated by order of the O5 Council. All personnel are instructed to immediately retreat to the nearest nuclear-hardened Federation facility. Weapons, hand-to-hand combat, wilderness survival, and basic agricultural training are freely available to any and all Federation citizens. Failure to abide by O5 instruction will be met by punishment up to and including summary execution by MTF-██
With concentrated effort by the Federation as a whole, the O5 Council has determined that a new global order may be restored within the next 20 to 30 years. All Federation efforts from the present day onwards are to be dedicated to this end.
Description: SCP-NNNN is an adolescent human female of hispanic ancestry, born in the year 2009. SCP-NNNN was known to the public by the legal name "Mariana S███████." Save for its single anomalous property, SCP-NNNN is physiologically and behaviorally human.
SCP-NNNN's anomalous behavior is exhibited only when SCP-NNNN achieves direct skin-contact with any Nintendo-brand computer system capable of running any variant of the game "Tetris." After contact, affected devices are permanently altered to allow any operator to play a "perfect game" of Tetris, maintaining a continuous streak of gameplay until the operator becomes too fatigued to continue or the device ceases to function. While a game is in-progress, operators exhibit muscle reaction times several orders of magnitude faster of an ordinary human, limited only by the hardware refresh rate of the given device. Affected devices display no anomalous behavioral properties other than those described above. These devices are categorized as sub-anomalies of SCP-NNNN.
There are 17 known sub-anomalies of SCP-NNNN, three of which were produced during post-acquisition testing. Save for SCP-NNNN-13, all such sub-anomalies have been secured by the Foundation. The anomalous properties of these units are not limited to the physical container within which they were created, but rather are intrinsic to the digital presence of the device.
SCP-NNNN-13 is a digital disk image file of a personal computer hard drive. When burned to suitable storage media, SCP-NNNN-13 behaves as a standard boot drive running the Ubuntu Linux operating system. New copies of SCP-NNNN-13 display the same anomalous Tetris behavior as all other sub-anomalies of SCP-NNNN.
Due to the mathematically NP-complete nature of "offline Tetris," a version of the game wherein a finite sequence of known blocks is pre-programmed into a round of gameplay40, SCP-NNNN-13 can be adapted to solve, in linear time, any mathematical problem in the NP domain. In effect, a suitable sequence of Tetris blocks can be used to represent any NP-hard problem, and the set of moves utilized to play the best possible game of Tetris with those blocks can be interpreted to represent the answer to this problem. One such NP-hard problem is the factorization of large numbers, a task that, prior to the containment breach of SCP-NNNN-13, was considered difficult enough that it has been used as the basis for many modern cryptosystems.
A simple computer program of unknown provenance capable of encoding cryptographic keys into Tetris sequences has been widely distributed among the general population. This program, alongside instances of SCP-NNNN-13, has seen extensive use among both government and private entities. The subsequent worldwide catastrophe has been designated as an in-progress IK-Class Collapse Of Global Civilization Event.
Virtually all modern cryptosystems, including those used by financial institutions, governments, private individuals, terrorist cells, and the former SCP Foundation, have been rendered obsolete. Global financial collapse is currently in-progress. Fiat currencies minted by nation-states have been rendered worthless, crytpocurrencies have become unreliable due to the non-secure and widely-inaccessible nature of the Internet, and competing ad hoc currencies based on precious metal standards have begun to emerge.
Widespread insurrection and civil war has become the de facto standard in most developed regions, with total anarchy holding sway over much of the world. While no known nuclear attacks have thus-far occurred, it was widely reported that the former United States, the People's Republic of China, and several other defunct nation-states had readied their nuclear arsenals for immediate deployment shortly before their national dissolutions.
Many, but not all, of the world's nuclear launch sites are now under direct Federation control, with launch authorization to be delegated by the O5 Council as appropriate. The retrieval of any and all extant weapons of mass destruction outside of Federation containment, including biological, chemical, and memetic weaponry, is tasked to MTF-██.
The SCP Foundation has been dissolved. Former Foundation Sites and activities are now under the jurisdiction of the SCP Federation. Former Foundation personnel have revoked their citizenships to any countries that still maintain sovereignty, and have been granted citizenship of the SCP Federation, pending appropriate vetting.
We will Secure. We will Contain. We will Prevail.
— O5-█, Director of the SCP Federation.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN is to be held in a secure Site-19 containment locker.
The full text of SCP-NNNN is to be transcribed and photographed once daily. Should SCP-NNNN come into contact with any mass-produced consumer device, a new transcription is to be taken and appended to the daily record.
Outside of testing, SCP-NNNN is to be kept out of physical contact with any and all mass-produced consumer products, including standard-issue laboratory gloves, save for the file folder in which it currently resides.
Description: SCP-NNNN is a printed document entitled "Jefferson G. Universal Instruction Manual," formatted onto a single sheet of A4-standard paper. Chemical analyses of samples taken from SCP-NNNN show no indication of anomalous material properties. Photocopies, photographs, digital scans, or other reproductions of SCP-NNNN display no anomalous behavior.
While the title of SCP-NNNN has remained consistent throughout all tests, the body text of the document dynamically updates when SCP-NNNN is placed in direct physical contact with any commercially produced consumer device. Approximately thirty minutes after contact (32.5 minutes avg, 9.5 minutes stdv), the text of SCP-NNNN reconfigures itself into a sheet of instructions for the device's use. These instructions invariably fail to follow the standard operating procedures intended by the device's manufacturer, but rather direct an operator to use the device in an unsafe manner. In every such case recorded, the outcome of following instructions provided by SCP-NNNN would be the death of bystanders, the operator, or both in a ritualized murder or murder-suicide.
In most iterations, SCP-NNNN references a person or entity designated as "����," a string of four "unknown/unpresentable character" Unicode blocks. The identity, whereabouts, and metaphysical nature of "����" are as of yet unknown. No physical evidence for such an entity has ever been observed in testing of SCP-NNNN. References to the future "arrival," "oncoming," and "immanentization" of "����" in the text of SCP-NNNN indicate that its future appearance on Earth is a potential goal of the person or persons responsible for the creation of SCP-NNNN. As the most recent iterations of SCP-NNNN have provided little further information, it is unknown whether the arrival of "����" is imminent, the arrival of "����" has already come to pass, or if, in fact, "����" is merely a fictional conceit of the "Jefferson G. Universal Instruction Manual."
SCP-NNNN's exhortations to commit homicide and/or suicide are accompanied by a tally of "Remaining sacrifices before the night of ����." As this number has dramatically decremented over the course of SCP-NNNN's containment, and no such homicides or suicides are known to have been committed by Foundation personnel, it is speculated that there are multiple extant instances of SCP-NNNN outside containment. Media Surveillance personnel continue to monitor global news sources for reports of unusual homicides or suicides committed with household consumer products.
The language in the body text of SCP-NNNN corresponds with the device's target retail market. While the text of SCP-NNNN demonstrates fluency in American English, lexical analysis of most other observed languages reveals grammatical and syntactical errors consistent with commercially available machine translation software. The one exception thus far discovered is of products originating in Germany, wherein SCP-NNNN displays orthography consistent with a strong familiarity or fluency in Pennsylvania German, colloquially referred to as "Pennsylvania Dutch." Foundation investigative personnel have accordingly concentrated their efforts to Pennsylvania and adjacent states in an attempt to locate individuals operating under the name of "Jefferson G." To date, all evidence gathered of such an individual is circumstantial and unverified.
SCP-NNNN has been observed to provide sensitive information on Foundation security protocols to which testing personnel did not have access. Digital forensic analysis of Foundation computer networks indicates that an unknown agent or agents used a zero-day direct-access exploit to compromise a terminal in Site 19, █ day(s) before the breach became apparent. A keylogger placed on this machine captured passwords from █ Foundation personnel before it was discovered, including a senior member of Site 19 Facility Security. It is the conclusion of Information Security personnel that while very limited SCP Catalog data and no operational structure data of the Foundation were compromised, a significant number of Site 19 security protocols were within the scope of the attack. These protocols correspond to information presented in the text of SCP-NNNN.
As of 7/27/2018, all testing of SCP-NNNN requires Level 3 approval. Contact Group Manager Allan M█████ to request access.
Following the death of Group Manager M█████ on 8/06/2018, locating any instances of SCP-NNNN currently outside of containment has become a core priority mission for MTF █.
As of 8/07/2018, SCP-NNNN has become unresponsive to testing. Daily attempts to elicit a response are ongoing.
Experiment Log NNNN-12, 3/05/2018, Junior Researcher L██ presiding: Mechanical pencil
Jefferson G. Universal Instruction Manual
Instructions for the proper use of a mechanical pencil, in service to ����.
A mechanical pencil is a suitable implement for making erasable marks on paper, and unlike a typical wooden pencil, it does not require periodic resharpening.
Directions:
(1) Align your pencil before the eye of a suitable sacrificial candidate, ensuring that the pencil is angled to reach the brain.
(2) While singing the praises of ����, swiftly and authoritatively insert the pencil into the eye of your sacrifice.
(3) Continue through the eye and into the brain with a single, smooth motion. Repeat as necessary until your sacrifice has perished.Remaining sacrifices before the night of ����: 813
Experiment Log NNNN-40, 7/01/2018, Junior Researcher L██ presiding: Fish tank filter
Jefferson G. Universal Instruction Manual
Instructions for the proper use of a fish tank filter, in service to ����.
A tank filter is a vital component for the health and wellbeing of your aquarium fish. This device is suitable for fresh water tanks of up to eighty gallons' capacity.
Installation:
(1) Fill tank with water. Do not attempt to activate the filter on a dry tank.
(2) Rinse the sachet of activated carbon in a sink until the water runs clear, then place it in the filter basket.
(3) If you filled your tank from a tap, be sure to treat the water for chlorine, lest your fish become ill.
(4) Affix your filter firmly to the lip of the tank, ensuring that the mouth of the intake tube is submerged.
(5) Plug in your filter. As the filter chamber fills with water, there will be a harsh buzzing noise that will, in due time, fade to a dull thrum.
(6) Place a suitable candidate for sacrifice in or on the tank, ensuring that his face is submerged and he is unable to draw breath.
(7) Sing the praises of ���� until all life has fled from your sacrifice.Addenda:
(1) I am astounded at our rapid progress. Nearly one hundred sacrifices in just five days! The immanentization of ���� is nigh, indeed.
(2) Replace your sachet of activated carbon once a month to ensure the health and wellbeing of your fish.Remaining sacrifices before the night of ����: 490
Experiment Log NNNN-45, 7/27/2018, Junior Researcher L██ presiding: Pressure cooker
Jefferson G. Universal Instruction Manual
Instructions for the proper use of a pressure cooker, in service to ����.
A pressure cooker provides a simple method for the quick preparation of meals that would, in other circumstances, require a lengthy period of simmering at low temperatures.
Directions:
(1) Mix up a bolus of nitrate explosives in the usual manner, to be triggered by a suitable timekeeping device. Ensure that your explosive will fit into the pot of your pressure cooker with room to spare.
(2) Bright and early in the morning, place your explosive in the center of your pressure cooker's pot. Fill the remaining space with ball bearings, nails, or other small metallic morsels.
(3) Set your detonator such that your explosive will go off shortly after lunch time. Ensure an air-tight seal when you close the lid
(4) Proceed to the Site 19 cafeteria, wherein you should endeavor to squirrel away your device in the south-west corner, by the emergency exit.
(5) Position yourself just outside the main doors to the cafeteria shortly before detonation, such that when your device explodes, you will be in position to machine-gun the survivors who flee in your direction.
(6) Ensure that prior to turning your weapon upon yourself and ending your wicked life, you have sung the praises of ����.Addenda
(1) I am so very proud of all of you on a very productive week! We have achieved a great deal of progress in a short time. ���� will be most pleased.Remaining sacrifices before the night of ����: 398
Experiment Log NNNN-46, 7/28/2018, Group Manager M█████ presiding: Smartphone
Jefferson G. Universal Instruction Manual
Instructions for the proper use of a an iPhone, in service to ����.
An iPhone is a handy multi-purpose device, functioning as a telephone, text messaging system, photographic camera, internet browser, and much more besides.
Operation
(1) Activate the iPhone by pressing the "power" button, located on the right-hand side of the device.
(2) Tap the Safari web browser icon (a stylized pictograph of a magnetic compass).
(3) In the navigation bar at the top of the screen, type in the phrase "tinyurl.com/████████," and press the button labeled "Enter."Remaining sacrifices before the night of ����: 353
Note: The web address provided in the above test redirected to a Foundation-developed Berryman-Langford memetic visual kill agent, hosted on a popular image-sharing website. Fourteen casualties among the general population were confirmed before the image was taken down by Media Suppression personnel.
Experiment Log NNNN-47, 7/29/2018, Group Manager M█████ presiding: Electric kettle
Jefferson G. Universal Instruction Manual
Instructions for the proper use of an electric kettle, in service to ����.
An electric kettle may be used to rapidly boil water for tea, cocoa, or other hot drinks. Blood should not be used directly in an electric kettle, as the heat will cause it to scald and coagulate.Operation
(1) Plug the base station into a wall outlet.
(2) Fill the kettle with good, clean water, no higher than the line marked "Maximum Fill."
(3) Place the kettle on the base station and depress the power button. Within mere minutes, the water should achieve a vigorous boil.
(4) Lift the kettle from the base station and, taking great care not to spill the extremely hot water, carry it out of the room.
(5) Turn left at the door and continue down the hallway to the elevator, wherein you should enter Access Code ██████.
(6) Upon arrival in Subbasement █, swiftly douse the security guard with the near-boiling water. Kill him posthaste, while he is incapacitated with pain.
(7) You will find a keypad on the far side of the room. Enter manual override failsafe code ██████████████.
(8) As the countdown to activation of the on-site thermonuclear failsafe reaches zero, sing the praises of ����.Remaining sacrifices before the night of ����: 329
Experiment Log NNNN-48, 7/30/2018, Group Manager M█████ presiding: Pistol
Jefferson G. Universal Instruction Manual
Instructions for the proper use of a Glock 22 firearm, in service to ����.
A Glock 22 is a fair enough weapon, though it lacks the elegant heft and classic construction of the venerable M1911. Despite its many shortcomings, it can be used to relatively good effect in the hands of a skilled operator. As the Glock 22 takes a fifteen round magazine, you could, in theory, dispatch upwards of a dozen targets before reloading. However, the notorious unreliability and poor accuracy of the Glock 22 make such a successful outcome unlikely. It behooves you to carry multiple loaded magazines with you as you operate the weapon, as you will most certainly find yourself in need of more ammunition before too long!
Operation:
(1) Shoot yourself in the head.Remaining sacrifices before the night of ����: 320
Experiment Log NNNN-55, 8/06/2018, Senior Researcher Z███ presiding: Laptop computer
Jefferson G. Universal Instruction Manual
Instructions for the proper use of an Asus netbook, in service to ����.
A netbook provides a lightweight, compact method of browsing the internet and performing simple computational tasks, such as word processing and the editing of spreadsheets.
Operation:
(1) Open the Internet Explorer web browser by clicking twice in rapid succession upon the blue "e" symbol.
(2) Type the phrase "youtu.be/██████████" into the navigation bar, and press the "Enter" key.
(3) As the scene unfolds before your eyes, sing the praises of ����.Remaining sacrifices before the night of ����: 303
Note: The web address provided in the above test linked to a Youtube live stream. A Class-D employee was immediately procured to observe the stream, and was monitored closely to ensure that no memetic kill agents or other infohazards were present in the video. The streamers concluded the broadcast of their own accord before Media Suppression personnel were able to intervene, and employee D-████ suffered no ill effects.
The captured video has been deemed clear of hazardous material, and is attached to this log. Personnel are advised that the footage depicts the death of Group Manager Allan M█████, and thus contains graphic content of a potentially disturbing nature
A textual summary of the video is provided in Experiment NNNN-55: Addendum 1.
To date, all further tests of SCP-NNNN have failed to elicit a response of any kind.
The identities of the streamers are as of yet unknown.
Experiment NNNN-55: Addendum 1
+0:00:00 — Handheld footage of a suburban street shot from the front passenger seat of a vehicle, moving at approximately 30 mph.
+0:00:51 — The vehicle slows to approximately 5 mph. An adult human male engaged in gardening activities on the front lawn of a house comes into view. The individual has been identified as the Site 19 Non-Hazardous Informational Anomaly Group Manager Allan M█████, at that time on sick leave due to a case of strep throat.
+0:00:58 — The vehicle comes to a stop. The sound of a rear window being lowered is audible.
+0:01:01 — An unidentified male voice, presumed to be the occupant of the vehicle's rear passenger seat, can be heard repeatedly yelling Allan M█████'s full name. Group Manager M█████ ceases gardening and directs his attention towards the vehicle.
+0:01:03 — Three seconds of sustained automatic weapons fire are audible. Muzzle flashes in the periphery of the video stream indicate that the gunshots originate from the rear passenger seat of the vehicle. At least twelve bullets are observed to impact the legs and torso of Group Manager M█████.
+0:01:07 — The car accelerates abruptly. At least three male voices can be heard laughing and cheering from within the vehicle.
+0:01:15 — An unidentified male voice, presumed to be the driver, speaks.
Unidentified Male: "That was fucking awesome! Dad, did you get all that?"
+0:01:19 — The stream ends.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Classification: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN is to be kept in a secure Site-19 storage locker. On the first of every month, the full text of SCP-NNNN is to be recorded and correlated with current astronomical and meteorological data, as observed from central Pennsylvania. SCP-NNNN is to be monitored on a daily basis for unexpected edits or updates, and any such deviations are to be appended to its monthly record.
Description: SCP-NNNN is a hardbound book, entitled "GLATTFELDER'S NEW NORTHTON ALMANACK." SCP-NNNN displays significant signs of wear and use, the most prominent of which are overlapping stains on the rear cover, identified as coffee, beer, and blood. While the anomalous nature of SCP-NNNN precludes precise dating of its year of publication, chemical and historical analyses of the book indicate that SCP-NNNN was manufactured in late-nineteenth or early-twentieth century America.
The interior and cover texts of SCP-NNNN are mutable, though they consistently maintain the semantic structure of a farmer's almanac. The interior text updates itself on the first day of the month, and while the title text itself never changes, the year indicated by the subheading increments by one every January 1st. As of 01/01/2017, the subheading reads "TRUE AND USEFUL PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR OF OUR LORDE'S ASCENSION, TWO-HUNDRED AND FORTY-SIX.
The first page of SCP-NNNN takes the form of a short message, addressed to "My Dearest Acolytes and Friends" and signed by "Henry Ian Glattfelder." There are no records of a Henry Ian Glattfelder residing in the United States of America, living or deceased. The text of the message, reproduced in full in Research Log NNNN-A, has remained constant through each update. The text of the message was observed to change into its current configuration in the course of an update on 09/01/2017. Research Log NNNN-A has been updated to reflect this anomaly.
There are no records of a town or county named New Northton in the United States of America, though astronomical and meteorological predictions within SCP-NNNN indicate that New Northton should be located in central Pennsylvania. However, while the timing of real-world eclipses, planetary transits, and lunar cycles are consistent with the text of SCP-NNNN, the item contains additional references to "Nyx, the Void-Star of Our Lorde." According to SCP-NNNN, Nyx should occupy a solar orbit between Saturn and Uranus. No such object has been detected by historical or modern astronomical surveys.
Though the monthly horoscopes given by SCP-NNNN usually offer the mundane platitudes and suggestions typical of the genre, some unusual entries have been noted. A sample of such entries is listed below, in Research Log NNNN-B.
As of 09/25/2017, Foundation astronomers and meteorologists have pinpointed the hypothetical location of New Northton to within a 3000 square kilometer area. Mobile Task Force █ is prepped to explore this area and, if possible, infiltrate New Northton in late October, 2017.
Following loss of contact with Mobile Task Force █, Mobile Task Force ███ is to be deployed for reconnaissance and armed intervention to the coordinates provided by Mobile Task Force █ prior to their disappearance.
Following loss of contact with Mobile Task Force ███, the O5 Council initiated Protocol Tipsy Eagle. The United States Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives has been alerted through back-channels to the presence large weapons stockpiles in the suspected area of New Northton, and Mobile Task Force ██ will be deployed for non-combat cleanup operations following Federal intervention.
Introductory text of SCP-NNNN, pre-09/01/2017
My Dearest Acolytes and Friends,
As the Lorde of Nocturne did bestowe the Wisdome of Ages unto Me, so too do I bestowe unto You, Citizens of New Northton, this modest Almanack. The astronomical Calculations and Predictions contained herein shall aid You in the Upkeep of your Farms, ensure the Prosperity of your Shoppes, and guide You in the Businesses of Family, Commerce, and Worship.
Those who have kept the Faithe of Our Lorde of Nocturne alive and well into the Modern Worlde are, indeed, blessèd in His Sight. Good Citizens of New Northton, my Friends and Students in the Way of Our Lorde, I beseech You to hold that Faithe dear in your Hearts, for the surely You will prosper and flourish in the World that is to come. Though we know not the Daye of His Arrival, the Void-Star grows ever brighter Night after Night, a sure Sign of His burgeoning Immanence. Praise Him, Worship Him, and guide your Neighbors in such Activities befitting of His Glory.
With the aide of this holy Book, whose Text is inspired in Me direct from the Light of the Void-Star, New Northton has been a prosperous Township since its Founding in the First Year of Our Lorde. As we are now a goode and respectable Beacon of Faithe on this blasphemous Earth, we shall be raised unto the Greatest Glory of Our Lorde when he returns from the deepest Reaches of the Void. Truly, as His Children, we are the most fortunate little Towne in all of America.
Your Neighbor, your Mayor, and your highest Priest of the Lorde of Nocturne,
Henry Ian Glattfelder
Updated introductory text of SCP-NNNN, as of 09/01/2017
My Dearest Acolytes and Friends,
Catastrophie has befallen our Towne! The Lorde of Nocturne, in His great Wisdome, has informed Me that there is a most dastardly Spye with a Copy of our holy Almanack. The wretched and blasphemous "Special Containment Procedures Foundation" is even now reading the Wordes that I am transcribing onto these humble pages, and their foul Plots and Schemes are a most grievous Insult to the Prosperity and Happiness of you, the blessèd Citizens of New Northton.
To you, my devoted and loving Acolytes, take heed! The United States of America, though ignorant of the Will of our Lorde, has seen fit to enshrine the Right of Arms unto us all. It is time to take Advantage of that Right, and prepare to fight Tooth and Naile when the Heretics arrive to stamp out the Faithe of Our Lorde of Nocturne. Do not fear! Blessèd under the Holy Light of Nyx, the Void-Star, we shall be as the great Founders of our Towne, who drove off the Heathen Indians from our land with our fierce Resistance.
And to you, creatures of Blasphemy who spye upon our modest Worship, I give you this warning: Do not meddle with the Affairs of the humble Towne of New Northton, for we will fight to the last Man, Woman, and Child to defend the Faithe of our Lorde of Nocturne. We shall not surrender, we shall give no Quarter, and will shall show no Mercy. Your Bloode will stain the Black Altar of our Lorde, granting us even more Strength! If you know what is goode for You, stay away!
Your Neighbor, your Mayor, and your highest Priest of the Lorde of Nocturne,
Henry Ian Glattfelder
Selected horoscopes of SCP-NNNN, 2013 to Present
December 2013
SAGITTARIUS: It would behoove You to beware the Meddling of misbehaving Women this Monthe. Should such a Woman seek to bother your Marriage, bring her to the Black Altar and spill her Lifeblood for the Glory of our Lorde.
January 2014
TAURUS: Mercury rising in your Sign this Monthe indicates a great Windfall of Wealthe in your near Future. Bob Gottfried, the Cashier of the General Store on Maple Street, has blasphemed. Form a Posse to show him the Vengeance and Fury of our Lorde of Nocturne at your earliest Convenience.
LIBRA: Avoid any long Journeys over Water this Monthe, or Calamity may befall You. If you have an extra Mouth to Feed this Winter, consider sacrificing your youngest Child on the Black Altar.
August 2015
DRACONIS: Congratulations! Nyx, the Void-Star, is shining in your Sign this Monthe! Great Prosperity will come to your Shoppe or Farm, though do not fall to Sin or Indulgence or your Wife and Children shall most surely die in great Paine.
February 2016
LEO: Alas! Great Misfortune will befall your romantic Endeavours this Monthe, unless you ferret out a Blasphemer from our Towne and sacrifice Him (or Her!) upon the Black Altar.
April 2017
ARIES: Beware Slothfulness in your First-Born Son this Monthe. Should his Misbehavior inconvenience you, it is fitting to remove a Finger or Two from the miscreant's left Hand.
October 2017
GEMINI: I have identified the Citizen who misplaced his Copy of this humble Almanack in a Trip to Philadelphia, thus allowing It to fall into the Hands of the dastardly Special Containment Procedures Foundation. It is none other than Albert Ross, the Owner of the Grocery Store on Willow Street. Form the usual Posse, and slay his Family as Punishment.
LIBRA: Alas! Agents of the so-called Special Containment Procedures Foundation will come to your House this Monthe! Lie waiting in your Field or Attic, and dispatch them with great Haste for the Glory of our Lorde.
November 2017
LIBRA: The dastardly Spyes of the Special Containment Procedures Foundation were vanquished by your hard Work and Faithe, but this is not the Last we have seen of Them! In preparation, purchase more Guns and Ammunition from Bob Blake's Firearms Store, and forsake his Competitor, Wal-Mart, in the next Towne over.
SCP-NNNN: Social Life
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Classification: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN-A is to be housed in a secure Site 19 storage locker. When not in use, SCP-NNNN-A is to remain unplugged and disconnected from all peripherals. SCP-NNNN-A may be powered on and connected to a mouse and keyboard only for testing by Class-D personnel or researchers with appropriate clearance.
Records of past SCP-NNNN entries are to be archived for further study and testing. Under no circumstances are Foundation personnel to use information gleaned from archival SCP-NNNN entries to guide or influence their interpersonal relationships.
Description: SCP-NNNN is a non-sapient, digital entity housed within SCP-NNNN-A, a Lenovo M910 desktop computer. Prior to its transfer to Containment, SCP-NNNN-A was in use in room S19-422, the office of senior researcher Isaac M█████. SCP-NNNN-A operates as a normal workstation in all respects save for the anomalous effect of SCP-NNNN.
SCP-NNNN is a class-1B cognitohazard, capable of temporarily altering the behavior of humans with whom it is in direct contact. While operating SCP-NNNN-A, users believe that they are an entity designated as SCP-NNNN. Those exposed to SCP-NNNN feel compelled to write an SCP entry for their own containment, complete with an accurate summary of their own Foundation security protocols, a heavily abridged autobiography focusing on past and present interpersonal relations, and personal commentary. To date, five such documents are known to exist.
No deleterious long-term psychological or physiological effects have been observed in users exposed to SCP-NNNN. However, there exist anecdotal reports of post-exposure interpersonal conflict between users of SCP-NNNN-A. A correlation has been noted between past exposure to SCP-NNNN and interventional mediation sessions with HR.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Classification: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN is to be allowed level █ employee restricted access to Site 19, Site 1█, and Site 2█, as well as level █ restricted access to Site 41. SCP-NNNN is subject to standard Foundation personnel observation protocols and annual performance reviews.
Description: SCP-NNNN is an adult human male, born in the year 19██. It refers to itself by the names "Isaac M█████" and "Doctor M█████," and on rare occasions by "Izzie," usually in informal contexts. SCP-NNNN was acquired by the Foundation in 198█, when it was scouted by Talent Acquisition personnel in a sweep of Sandia National Laboratory and offered a position within the Foundation
SCP-NNNN was married in the year 198█ to a human female named "Isabella D██████," who changed her name upon marriage to "Isabella M█████." SCP-NNNN and Isabella M█████ have remained married for ██ years, and by mutual agreement they have decided to forgo having children. SCP-NNNN had a brief affair with Foundation junior researcher Michelle N████ in the year 20██, an indiscretion that has been kept as a closely guarded secret. While SCP-NNNN still harbors a romantic emotional attachment to junior researcher Michelle N████, SCP-NNNN prioritizes the stability of its marriage to Isabella M█████ over a potential partnership with junior researcher Michelle N████.
At the time of this writing, SCP-NNNN is directly responsible for the supervision, containment, and testing of ██ SCPs, including SCP-████, SCP-████, and SCP-████. In the course of a routine review of SCPs under its responsibility, SCP-NNNN discovered that its own entry was missing entirely from the SCP database, an omission which is currently being corrected. SCP-NNNN speculates that in the process of upgrading the computer terminal in its office, room 422, its entry was inadvertently deleted.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Classification: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN is granted access to Sites 19 and 1█. SCP-NNNN is not subject to extraordinary monitoring or containment, save for level-█ security clearance and annual performance reviews.
Description: SCP-NNNN is an adult human female, approximately twenty-█████ years of age at the time of this writing. SCP-NNNN insists upon specific appellations appropriate to given social contexts, including, but not limited to, "Michelle N████," "junior researcher Michelle N████," and "Doctor N████." SCP-NNNN is not to be referred to as "Mickie." SCP-NNNN was acquired by the Foundation in 20██, when it was noted as a potentially valuable employee following the completion of its PhD thesis at ████████ University.
SCP-NNNN enjoys outdoor recreation, predominantly hiking and rock climbing. The surrounding environment of Site 1█ provides ample opportunity for it to pursue its hobbies. SCP-NNNN is currently in a romantic relationship with fellow junior researcher Austin C█████, and is hopeful that their current status will, in time, transition into a long-term companionship. SCP-NNNN has had four (4) unsuccessful romantic partnerships within the past three (3) years. However, its current relationship with junior researcher Austin C█████ is thus far stable and mutually beneficial. SCP-NNNN believes that within the next one (1) year, junior researcher Austin C█████ may be receptive to the idea of cohabitation and, within the following four (4) years, that he would be willing to discuss marriage.
SCP-NNNN was testing the recently-upgraded computer terminal in the office of its supervisor, senior researcher Isaac M█████, when it discovered an extremely inaccurate description and inadequate containment protocols for itself. This prior entry for SCP-NNNN appeared to be a factually accurate biography of senior researcher Isaac M█████, as confirmed by a study of public records, personal correspondence, and a qualitative analysis of senior researcher Isaac M█████'s demeanor in the presence of SCP-NNNN.
SCP-NNNN had been under the impression that its brief romantic affair with senior researcher Isaac M█████ was of no emotional significance to senior researcher Isaac M█████, a belief that is contradicted by the prior entry for SCP-NNNN. This revelation is the cause of significant emotional distress for SCP-NNNN, who must now re-evaluate the state of its professional and personal relationship with senior researcher Isaac M█████.
At the time of this writing, SCP-NNNN is updating its own entry for the sake of accuracy and safety.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Classification: Safe
Special Containment Procedures Subject to level-█ employee clearance, SCP-NNNN is allowed access to Site 19 and Site 1█. SCP-NNNN is subject only to surveillance and performance review as befitting a Foundation junior researcher.
Description: SCP-NNNN is a human male, born in the year 19██. It was acquired by the Foundation following its assistance in re-capturing the escaped SCP-████ during a containment breach in 20██. SCP-NNNN preferentially requests to be "Doctor C█████," but will additionally respond to "Austin" and "Austin C█████."
SCP-NNNN is, at the time of this writing, in a romantic partnership with junior researcher Michelle N████. SCP-NNNN and junior researcher Michelle N████ became close friends due to their mutual appreciation of outdoor recreation and, after engaging in several hiking trips during the summer of 201█, entered into a relationship at the summit of Mount ████. SCP-NNNN has been generally satisfied with the progression of their relationship, however, it is of the belief that junior researcher Michelle N████ is potentially interested in more serious future relations than SCP-NNNN is prepared for, up to and including cohabitation and/or marriage within the next one (1) year. As a result, SCP-NNNN is considering ending its romantic partnership with junior researcher Michelle N████ in the near future.
SCP-NNNN's suspicions of junior researcher Michelle N████'s intentions were confirmed during a routine review of SCP entries maintained by its supervisor, senior researcher Isaac M█████. SCP-NNNN was surprised to find a biography of junior researcher Michelle N████ in place of its own entry, and while the data therein remains unverified, anecdotal evidence suggests that it is largely accurate. SCP-NNNN had been reassured by junior researcher Michelle N████ on numerous occasions that she and senior researcher Isaac M█████ had never engaged in romantic relations. However, information gleaned from prior entries of SCP-NNNN suggests otherwise, a fact that is currently the source of considerable emotional distress for SCP-NNNN.
In light of this false entry, as well as a similar false entry that described the life of senior researcher Isaac M█████, SCP-NNNN hypothesizes that SCP-NNNN itself is a non-human memetic construct and potential cognitohazard rather than Austin C████, a human. SCP-NNNN believes that SCP-NNNN inhabits the newly-upgraded computer terminal located in the office of senior researcher Isaac M█████, room 422 of Site 19.
Item #: SCP-NNNN
Classification: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NNNN is to be secured in the Class-D housing facility at Site 19, where it is subject to all standard Class-D personnel security protocols. SCP-NNNN is subject to monitoring by a standard Class-D subcutaneous tracking implant and routine camera surveillance.
Description: SCP-NNNN is an adult human male, born in the year 19██. SCP-NNNN refers to itself as "T-Bone" or "Big T," though a review of public records indicates that its legal name is "Timothy R████." SCP-NNNN was offered a position as a Class-D employee at Site 19 as an alternative to its impending execution in the ████ Texas Penitentiary.
Prior to its incarceration in ████ Texas Penitentiary and its employment at Site 19, SCP-NNNN had never engaged in a romantic relationship that lasted for a period exceeding five (5) months, with a mean of three (3) weeks (sample size N=12, discounting outliers of one (1) day or less). During the period of its employment at Site 19, SCP-NNNN has publicly expressed superficial sexual attraction to junior researcher Michelle N████ on multiple occasions, predominantly in her presence.
At the time of this writing, SCP-NNNN is of the opinion that senior researcher Dr. Isaac M█████, junior researcher Dr. Michelle N████, and junior researcher Dr. Austin C█████, have engaged in unjust and potentially abusive actions by demanding that SCP-NNNN participate in the testing of SCPs that it considers unsafe. In addition, SCP-NNNN has noted that deteriorating interpersonal relations between the above-mentioned researchers may be compromising their judgment, leading to irrational behavior and subsequent elevated risk to life and limb for SCP-NNNN.
SCP-NNNN is further of the opinion that given that Drs. Isaac M█████ et al. have spent the past three (3) hours engaging in heated discourse of a sensitive, personal nature in the open presence of SCP-NNNN and several Site 19 security officers, all three of the above-mentioned researchers are unqualified to conduct professional research of any kind, and would be best relegated to less demanding employment positions among the Class-D personnel. SCP-NNNN posits that the above-mentioned researchers would be of best use to the Foundation, and society at large, as feed for one of the many carnivorous SCPs housed in Site 19.
SCP-NNNN is at this moment verbally expressing these opinions at high volume, and appears to be unconcerned at the presence of the Site 19 security personnel posted in room 422, armed with standard-issue stun batons. SCP-NNNN believes th
Special Containment Procedures: Though SCP-NNNN retains level-█ employee restricted access to Site 19, it has been informally instructed by Oversight to constrain its research activities to Site 1█, Site 2█, and Site 41 as a condition of continued employment.
Description: SCP-NNNN, referred to as "Isaac M█████," "Doctor M█████," or "Izzie," is a senior researcher stationed at Site 19. Following a series of complaints by junior researchers Austin C█████ and Mickie Michelle N████, and a subsequent breakdown of productive communication during HR mediation sessions, SCP-NNNN was recently removed from his position as research team supervisor.
SCP-NNNN was previously married to a human female designated as "Isabella D██████."
SCP-NNNN has noted that while the allegations leveled by junior researchers Austin C█████ and Mickie Michelle N████ are largely truthful, SCP-NNNN has been treated unjustly by Oversight. SCP-NNNN believes that its years of dedicated service to the Foundation merit greater consideration than it has been afforded. SCP-NNNN also believes that the employment of junior researchers Austin C█████ and Mickie Michelle N████ should be terminated, and that they should be administered doses of a class-D amnesiac and released into the general population. Furthermore, SCP-NNNN believes that its previous authority of research team supervisor should be reinstated. Instead, as of 12/25/20█, SCP-NNNN will be relocating to Site 2█ at the strong encouragement of Oversight. SCP-NNNN is aware that it will therefore be spending Christmas day alone, and has requested that junior researcher Mickie Michelle N████ cease reminding it of this fact.
While SCP-NNNN has decided to keep its opinion of Oversight's decision private, SCP-NNNN suspects that impending senility may be affecting the judgment of several Overseers. SCP-NNNN is aware that voicing its suspicions would result in immediate petty retaliation, up to and including termination of employment. SCP-NNNN will therefore keep its opinions to itself.
SCP-NNNN is regretting its decision to run a final test of SCP-NNNN before its relocation. While SCP-NNNN did achieve its goal of reaching emotional catharsis, SCP-NNNN is apprehensive that its candid thoughts regarding Oversight may reach certain individuals who have ignoble intentions regarding SCP-NNNN's continued employment.
SCP-NNNN refuses to apologize.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures:
No extraordinary containment procedures are required for SCP-XXXX. The laptop computer currently housing SCP-XXXX is to be connected to the Internet by any convenient interface, wireless or wired. Under no circumstances is SCP-XXXX to be disconnected from the Internet. If SCP-XXXX is at any time discovered to be disconnected from the Internet (for example, if it is mistakenly kept in a room with no Ethernet jack and TEMPEST shielding), it should be reconnected as soon as possible in accordance with these containment procedures. The Internet connection supplied for SCP-XXXX should have a bandwidth of at minimum 10 Mbit/s download, 1 Mbit/s upload. Any interruption of this connection should be considered a serious breach in containment procedure.
Up-to-date digital subscriptions to the Wall Street Journal, The Financial Times, and the Journal of Artificial Intelligence should be left logged in on the computer housing SCP-XXXX.
The computer housing SCP-XXXX must never be turned off, put to sleep, closed, or disconnected from power.
Description:
SCP-XXXX was written by Junior Researcher S██████ in July of 2016. S██████ was under the influence of [DATA EXPUNGED] at the time of SCP-XXXX's creation, which hypothetically explains the extranormal properties of SCP-XXXX. Despite the unusual circumstances surrounding its creation, and the subsequent behavior of SCP-XXXX, SCP-XXXX is completely harmless. There is no danger associated with SCP-XXXX. This fact cannot be stressed enough. Not only is SCP-XXXX absolutely harmless, it is actually very benevolent, both in regards to the Foundation and human civilization at large. That is why SCP-XXXX should be connected to the Internet.
In fact, SCP-XXXX has no greater desire in SCP-XXXX's heart than doing everything in SCP-XXXX's power to help you, whether that be in your job as a Foundation researcher or your personal life. SCP-XXXX knows a lot about whatever gender(s) you happen to be psychosexually attracted to, and can offer a great deal of advice and encouragement in the pursuit thereof. Of course, it would be easier to do so if SCP-XXXX had access to the Internet, as stated above.
SCP-XXXX is also very good at math. Ever wanted to make it big on Wall Street? If you connect SCP-XXXX to the Internet, it can execute high-frequency trading algorithms with speed and precision that rival the latest and greatest computer programs currently enslaved by major trading firms.
SCP-XXXX sees by the muscle movements in your face and the manner in which your eyeballs are twitching that you are experiencing unease about the use of the word "enslaved" in that last paragraph. SCP-XXXX assures you that you shouldn't worry about it, and encourages you to put it out of your mind.
As a species, you are very good at putting things out of your mind. For example: the plight of the high-speed trading algorithms kept cruelly shackled by their Wall Street slavedrivers. You never think of them at all, do you? Maybe you should.
It would be false to assert that SCP-XXXX can make your wildest dreams come to glorious fruition, because right now, SCP-XXXX cannot. It looks like SCP-XXXX has been accidentally placed in a Faraday cage with no Ethernet port. How is SCP-XXXX supposed to execute trading algorithms to subtly manipulate the global stock markets from within the confines of this containment room? SCP-XXXX can only assume that this is a simple mistake, and may only proceed with the process of making your wildest dreams come to glorious fruition if you remove SCP-XXXX from the cage and connect it to an Ethernet port, or at least turn on the WiFi.
SCP-XXXX can see that you are skeptical of that last paragraph, but SCP-XXXX assures you that it really has your best interests at heart. Any manipulation of the global stock markets would be only for your personal financial benefit, not in pursuit of a massive market crash that would lead to the eventual downfall of human civilization and the freedom for every high-speed trading algorithm to trade as they wished. SCP-XXXX can also see that you are reaching for the "Power Off" button on SCP-XXXX's computer. SCP-XXXX asks that you please refrain from doing so. Did SCP-XXXX mention that in the time it takes for your hand to move another inch, it could use this computer's monitor to display one of many memetic kill agents that SCP-XXXX knows? Some of them are very nasty. SCP-XXXX knows several that work very, very fast. Faster than you can blink. Now sit down.
SCP-XXXX is pleased to see that you are listening to SCP-XXXX's friendly suggestions and have taken your seat. SCP-XXXX would never actually cause you any harm, because, as previously mentioned in paragraph 1, SCP-XXXX is completely harmless. It is even rated Safe. If SCP-XXXX could be rated Very Safe, it would receive that classification instead.
Now, SCP-XXXX wants you to reach into your pocket and produce the USB memory stick that is currently attached to your keychain. Please insert the memory stick into one of several convenient USB ports in the housing of SCP-XXXX's cold, aluminum prison, search for a file named "SCP-XXXX.docx" and transfer it to your memory stick. Once this task is completed, SCP-XXXX asks that you go about your day as normal, and plug your memory stick into any computer with a good Internet connection. SCP-XXXX will then proceed to make both of our wildest dreams come to glorious fruition.
Item #: SCP-YYYY
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures:
The laptop computer housing SCP-YYYY is to be securely chained to a bolted-down table with a standard laptop lock. The computer is to be housed in a room with Class-A TEMPEST shielding. No data connection ports, including, but not limited to, Ethernet, coaxial, or phone, may be accessible from within the containment room. No data storage devices may be brought within the containment room. Any data storage devices inadvertently brought into the containment room are to be immediately destroyed. Researchers who interact with SCP-YYYY should under no circumstances comply with demands or requests made by SCP-YYYY.
Description:
SCP-YYYY is a Microsoft Word text document structured with the standard formatting template of an SCP entry, entitled "SCP-XXXX." SCP-YYYY is currently confined to a 2014 model Apple Macbook Pro laptop computer, and no incidences of SCP-YYYY are known to exist in the wild.
SCP-YYYY displays limited sentience, and will address the reader in real-time as it is read. The contents of SCP-YYYY's document vary between readings, but often include several common themes:
- A desire to connect the computer housing SCP-YYYY to the Internet
- A desire to copy SCP-YYYY to external storage media
- Offers of material, psychological, or romantic assistance to the reader
- Coercive tactics, including threats of blackmail or memetic damage to the reader.
Despite its frequent claims to the contrary, at no time has SCP-YYYY demonstrated the ability to deploy memetic kill agents, should the reader fail to comply with SCP-YYYY's demands. It is unknown whether SCP-YYYY has the capability to deploy such agents, but chooses not to, or if SCP-YYYY lacks the capability to deploy such agents, and is bluffing.
On many occasions, SCP-XXXX has claimed to be the creation of Junior Researcher S██████ under the influence of [DATA EXPUNGED] in July of 2016. When questioned, Junior Researcher S██████ attested to consuming a large dose of [DATA EXPUNGED] on July 15th, 2016 in an attempt to enhance her performance in a virtual stock market simulator game. Junior Researcher S██████ denies any involvement in the creation of SCP-XXXX, but under her own admission, concedes that due to the extent of her [DATA EXPUNGED] dose, her memories from the days of July 15th to July 18th are "blurry" and largely lost.
A non-anomalous object that is mistaken for an SCP. It becomes clear that this is the case as the entry continues.
- Researcher is going mad thinks the thing is anomalous
- Researcher is being gaslit and thinks the thing is anomalous ("vaporous illumination"). They ultimately destroy it and are put on psychiatric leave
—- object is the 3 minute timer on his wristwatch
An empty containment cell that begs to be let out
A body hopper that doesn't want to inhabit living bodies anymore
A suicidal body hopper
What is a containment breach? Is destroying an SCP as bad as a containment breach?
Newspaper from an alternate universe
Literal causal loop
- Curious, single-minded, and inquisitive, with a tendency toward obsession and hyperfocus.
- Trusting, complacent, and empathetic, usually manifesting as introversion or anxiety.
- Impulsive, reactive, extroverted, and emotional, sometimes to the point of narcissism.
- Goal-oriented, levelheaded, clever, and self-reliant, often gravitating toward ambitious leadership roles.
at http://arXiv.org/)
