Author Page Rewrite

Prepared by the Administrative Department - Human Resources


Doctor Michael Magnus


Researcher in anomalous Software Objects

Security Clearance:

Provisional Level 2


Assigned to Dimensional Site-04


Doctor Magnus was acquired by the Foundation after having applied for a research position in the Soap From Corpses Products corporation; having passed the standard battery of tests for research level staff.

The date of birth on record was inconsistent with Doctor Magnus' appearance, and medical examinations. Doctor Magnus was by all accounts a normal 27-year-old male. This came under speculation early within his employment, but he maintained the fact to be 78 years of age at the time of acquisition.

Posthumous record analysis revealed that Doctor Magnus was a pathological liar, many of his claimed research topics having been physically impossible. His age was confirmed upon his death at 27 years, six months. Speculation as to the nature of his work was also disproved as sleight of hand, and classical showmanship techniques. Hiring procedures, as well as the hiring staff that acquired Doctor Magnus were reviewed, and an official reprimand was issued.

Doctor Magnus claimed to have a degree in "Metaphysics" from the University of [REDACTED]. How this didn't come up in his interview is unknown. After contacting the University, it was later discovered that Michael Magnus graduated with a bachelor's degree in Psychology. No security breaches have been discovered to date as a result of Doctor Magnus' employment, but investigations are still underway.

Doctor Magnus was KIA during a Chaos Insurgency raid on [REDACTED] after sustaining multiple stab wounds. Doctor Magnus had not had any formalized combat training, and attempted to engage in hand-to-hand combat with a trained Chaos Insurgency operative. He is currently buried in [REDACTED], Delaware, in accordance with his will.


An updated staff photo of Dr. Magnus has been provided by Researcher Kensington:

Site Director [REDACTED]'s note:
Due to the obviously farcical nature of these entries, we should probably find something real for Dr. Magnus to work on, lest he clutter the database more. Or Researcher Kensington give him a heart attack.