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SCP-xxxx in Containment

Result:
Item #: SCP-XXXX

Item Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-xxxx is to be contained in a secured containment locker on Site-64. All personnel at Site 64 must refrain from installing adblock software on any computing devices at the site. A circular area measuring 1 km in radius at ground level centered above SCP-xxxx is to be secured under the standard cover story of a local preservation effort.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a pair of octagonal, red-tinted glasses with a gold-painted, stainless steel frame.

The primary effect of SCP-xxxx overrides any sensory input from anything considered to be an “advertisement”. The criteria used to determine what classifies as an advertisement is hypothesized to be related to the intent of the creator of the media; If an entity creates a piece of media or communicates in such a way as to promote something it will be “censored”. Visual stimulus classed as advertisement is censored by white bars in the wearer’s vision. Auditory stimuli that is interpreted as advertisement is canceled out by sound with opposing wavelengths. Testing with other senses has been inconclusive, as it has proven difficult to create sensory experiences classed as advertisements for touch taste and smell. Notably, testing has revealed that the subject wearing the glasses does not need to comprehend the content or message in order for it to be “censored”.

The censored areas contain messages from an entity, SCP-xxxx-1. These messages attempt to convince the wearer to remove and destroy SCP-xxxx and deride the use of any form of adblock, including SCP-xxxx. These messages have shown no anomalous effect, and simple instructions to test subjects to ignore them have been sufficient to prevent these instructions from being carried out. For an example of a recorded message, see Text Log-xxxx-01

SCP-xxxx’s secondary effect acts on corporations whose advertisements are “censored” by SCP-xxxx, as well as the corporations or persons that produce and own the media upon which the advertisements are served. This secondary effect causes these corporations to experience a significant decline in sales and profits through unknown means. This decline is proportional to the length of time that their advertisements are “censored”.1

Any computer within a two kilometer radius with an adblock program installed displays similar messages. These messages contain information about how to locate and retrieve SCP-xxxx from containment.

Recovery: SCP-xxxx was recovered from a private residence following a string of anomalous declines in several charities. The location of the individual in possession of SCP-xxxx was determined when TF-Theta-8 (Invisible Hand) detected a precipitous decline in several local businesses in █████, US, and MTF-Phi-1 (Hostile Takeover) conducted a raid on the private residence of ██████ █████. Inside the residence, two individuals were found, one presumed to be the owner (known by his chat handle Ogres_watch), and one whose identity remains unknown. The owner was deceased at the time of entry, apparently killed by the unknown person. At time of entry, the unknown person was in the process of attempting to destroy SCP-xxxx with a framed painting of actor Bruce Willis. When the unknown person did not comply with Agent’s instructions to lay prone, and moved towards agents, they were shot and killed.

Log of Internet Relay Chat found along with SCP-xxxx:

Text Log-xxxx-01:

Notes:
This is approximately three seconds away from Godwin's law. It's like watching a middle school debate student try to argue for the value of sporks over forks by equating the freedom of versatile utensils to freedom from slavery. Guaranteed, a guy dressed as a stop sign killed this guy’s parents on Halloween and he sees himself as a marketing version of batman. Either way, we shouldn’t have to worry too much about containment breaches, I don’t think his Adblock sermon is going to win many converts.-Agent Samwell