mikewins
rating: 0+x

Item #: XXXX

Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a safe in the █████████ Base. When not being studied, SCP-XXXX should be under the care of exactly three armed guards. Under no circumstances shall more than four people be in the same room as SCP-XXXX without explicit permission from the managing scientist.

Description: SCP-XXXX appears to be a microphone, of the variety manufactured by ███████████. SCP-XXXX does not have the standardized serial number standard on such microphones. Instead, it bears the inscription "Totally Hip, Yo!"

SCP-XXXX's anomalous behavior is activated when in a room with four or more individuals. One of the individuals, often the one with the most musical training, will become SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 will hear a voice exhorting them to 'drop a beat.' They will be drawn to SCP-XXXX, and will pick it up unless physically restrained from doing so. All other sentients in the area will become SCP-XXXX-2, and attempt to help the selected subject use the microphone.

Once SCP-XXXX-1 is able to use the microphone, they will engage in a musical performance, almost always of the free-style rap variety. All instances of SCP-XXXX-2 will cheer and clap at the performance until it is completed, usually after sixty seconds. On rare occassion, but SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2 will engage in an elaborate song and dance routine, which would normal require months of choreographic training.

Subjects who hear recordings of the performance invariably describe it is 'rad', 'hip', 'hardcore', or ██████. Subjects who see transcripts of the performance generally describe the lyrics negatively. The prominent rap artist ████ commented "This looks like someone heard about five minutes of actual rap music and then decided to start writing really crappy rhymes. Is that a rap about giraffes?" (████ was subsequently administered a class-A amnesiac).

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