Terato's Sandbox 1.1.1: You shall (Not) make scary monster thingies

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Skips

Non-Cage Free eggs: An anomalous phenomenon effecting infertile chicken eggs, causing them to become fleshy and leathery and eventually produce half formed creatures known as 3000-C. Instances of 3000-C exhibit the DNA and Physical attributes of both a chicken and Nicholas Cage. Deformations (such as too many heads or limbs, malformed body parts, lack of body parts, etc) are common among 3000-C instances, and during their younger phase they are only partially solid. 3000-C instances generally speak in Nicholas cage quotes, most of which are made up and many of which are broken english.

I am a Man of Flesh and bone, just like any other Cognitohazardous phenomenon relating to communism that causes objects such as computers or calculators to begin functioning like living organisms. Following the objects growing a body for themselves, they become roughly sapient and form a society reminiscent of a marxist communism/socialism. Their religion very much revolves around raising themselves and their fellows higher and removing all "impurities", with (probably) coincidental parallels to the brazen heart.

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Item #: SCP-3000

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

Description:

Item: Physical traits Notes
SCP-3000-2A Entity possessed a barrel-shaped body and hexa-radially symmetric limbs – Facial structure was similar to that of Deinonychus antirrhopus, albeit with optical organs distributed asymmetrically across the face. Entity was covered in short hair found to be a perfect replication of the actor Nicholas Cages hair. Subject expired after 12 minutes, the cause of which was found to be from severely slowed blood cell production.
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