Do not edit other writers' sandboxes without permission.
- Infinite Computer
- Navier Stokes Water Disaster
- Magical Capitalist Jellybeans
- Self-Disposing Gum
- Antimemetic Instructional OS
- The Halting Problem
- P=NP traveling salesman problem
- Memetic Anime Videos
- Code test
- some clever title
- SCP Template
- Draft ideas
- 978 stuff
- acks
Meta: main idea is since 2223 and 3334 deal with the incomprehensibility of software/algorithms, do something similar with hardware. I mean, how many know how a silicon IC works?
A computer accidentally sent from the future. Uses reversible computing to not require any energy. Need some downside to make it not a thaumiel.
Tech support from the future (called using Einstein-Rosen bridge) in some modified future version of Esperanto.
a fountain of water suffering from finite-time blowup (becoming an infinite pool of water or infinite speed or something in a finite amount of time).
the second part of the anomaly is the math part - combining Terence Tao’s idea of disproving Navier Stokes by making a fluid computer, and the uncomputability of the spectral gap paper by constructing a computer out of a quantum lattice and taking the Hamiltonian.
the only long-term method of containment is to understand the mathematics, which is baffling Foundation mathematicians.
A tin of ordinary jellybeans. When you plant them in the ground, they grow into a beanstalk and lead into a magical happy candyland.
Except it's not a happy utopian candyland anymore, because some trader introduced capitalism to it and they became viciously competitive. In fact, they were better than the humans, and the real life traders started stealing trading ideas from them to use in the real world (MBS's and CDS's in real life).
gum what explodes when you adhere it to some surface, unless it's inside a container people would consider garbage.
Maybe advertises something depending on the final picture I pick. If so, some tie in to Lee Kuan Yew (maybe advertises some nonexistent violent media and tastes iron-y).
Anomaly originated from Singapore, which makes containment easy (The Foundation poses as WHO, says gum is poisonous/contaminated, asks police to hand it over)
RaccoonLauncher: Maybe make it turn into a gas instead of explode with antimatter, or something chemical (antimatter = hiroshima scale explosion, credit to Kufat)
do this later.
Foundation finds a github repo containing the PintOS educational operating system. the README.md document claims to have implemented a shortest remaining time-first (SRTF) scheduling algorithm for threads.
The repo's past commits are corrupted past a certain point. The log has some messages from the team (don't commit binary files, had to blank project 1 code to start project 2, finally got to Turing test and then forgot about it due to antimeme). The source code has no correlation with the executable and recompiling will yield different behavior from the included executable.
Although fine on the face of it, the real existence of such an algorithm is problematic since it can essentially predict the future (it has to in order to guess runtime, which includes I/O and shutting off the computer and everything). Also it can solve the halting problem with arbitrary precision. All of this is a big no-no.
//also need to hammer out rules of SRTF here
-real runtimes - the program runtimes must be in monotonically increasing order.
how does computer enforce this? Can predict, but what if experiment is set up to contradict it?
maybe the computer program bends reality to enforce correctness of SRTF?
—maybe the computer can predict the algorithmic runtime, the I/O runtime, but cannot predict being turned off.
-programs that are never run are ignored.
-infinite loops are run last.
-programs may be terminated and process I/O, provided they meet the above
-programs of exactly same runtime are chosen at random - all infinite loops have same runtime
-programs can yield, although SRTF will still be enforced so the same program will likely be scheduled again (except infinite loops, which will always be randomly picked).
-SRTF is preemptive
ROUGH DRAFT OF THE "TURING" IDEA
this still needs some work
There's a testing suite that includes a test with the Turing program (like in CS70). The test loads two user programs:
1. A program that writes to a file and then enters an infinite while loop that does a thread_yield() in the body.
2. A "Turing" program that contradicts its own halting behavior, using the OS scheduling algorithm to determine halting. Every time it loops it checks the output of a file - if it was written (aka the while loop ran), that means this program is longer than or equal to an infinite loop and so therefore it instructs itself to halt. Otherwise it was scheduled before Program 1 so it may or may not loop forever, thus it yields (if it in fact does not loop, it will end up looping forever through yields, a contradiction) (if it does infinitely loop, it will almost surely be randomly scheduled behind an equally long infinite looping Program 1, and thus halt for a contradiction).
//BETTER ROUGH DRAFT OF THE "TURING" IDEA
-asked Professor Rao
-A testing suite. The test in question runs a busy-beaver program with one more state (n+1) than the actual userprogram to be tested (number of states essentially defined by number of lines in the code). The busy-beaver is defined to be the longest-running halting program for that given number of states, so the userprog must be scheduled before if it is halting and after if it is non-halting. You need the additional state in case the userprog is itself the busy-beaver of length n.
-This solves the halting problem, which is impossible. It works for "normal" userprogs, however.
-You can run the contradictory "Turing" program as input, which results in the antimemetic effect.
When the test is run, the computer and the program become antimemes that nobody can perceive due to the contradictory nature.
The Foundation tried to use this as a way to the tell the future, but it backfired.
do this later
sketch:
A python library that has a boolean halting function (in python-compiled bytecode pyc that returns de-compile errors - decompiler programs give parse errors)
a halt() function that always returns true (since it returns whether the program literally halts in reality, which is true b/c of computer’s limited lifetime and universal heat death).
a haltOnTuringMachine() function that returns whether the program theoretically halts when run on an infinite theoretical Turing machine. So for example, print(“Hello World”) halts, whereas while 1 does not. It takes a string filename path to source code as an argument, as well as a string filename path for the input.
This in and of itself is anomalous, since the halting problem is undecidable. Given bad input, it raises an AssertionError (other exception conditions still happen, like invalid filename leading to invalid I/O).
If given an impossible program-input pair (aka an undecidable pair) is given, - decide effect later. Maybe the error message/result is actually an antimeme that you can’t remember, but seeing and reading it results in a memetic effect. Kind of a cognitohazard, but is actually a meme that seems similar to cognitohazard due to self-limiting antimeme effect. People are naturally inclined to show other people to debug. It’s kind of scary to have a harmful meme that you antimemetically can’t even remember (you remember seeing it, but you don’t remember what “it” is) (It’s both a meme and an antimeme).
Could be a good illustration of an antimeme: consider the memetic idea of “the truth value of the statement “this statement is false”,”. You can kind of think about it, you can kind of remember it, you can have some conception about it, but the idea is inherently undecidable and cannot exist in your mind or within the frameworks of human logic (you can only remember the wrapper of the idea and the pointer/description of the idea, not the idea itself). The idea is so poisonous you can try to remember everything around it but the not the thing itself.
Impossible program-input pair means something whose result could be used to solve the generally uncomputable halting problem. For example, the Turing(P) program in CS 70 or other self-referential programs or other programs that somehow result in contradictory halting results. The knowledge that haltOnTuringMachine() exists and works, and having perceived the output when run on undecidable output (like a cognitohazard, but actually an intransmissible meme - illustrate by saying mentally disabled D-class was not affected after looking), is enough to start producing memetic effects in people.
A complete belief and understanding of what Godel’s Second Incompleteness Theorem says is a counter-meme to the memetic effects. It cannot be used to retroactively cure it, since people under the memetic effect will vigorously deny the truth of Godel and actively try to disprove it.
Memetic effects include the above as well as starting to lose understanding of the difference between truth and falsehood. First symptoms is believing undecidable statements (self-referential examples in CS70 like Russell’s paradox, “I am a liar”, etc.) are both true and false to resolve undecidability. Then people become unable to distinguish the two and erode the “law of the excluded middle”. Ends in total schizophrenia of everyday, real-life things.
Hide the descriptions of haltOnTuringMachine() and the memetic effects behind the Godel countermeme (give a good layman’s description of the theorem).
do this later
Foundation discovers program that solves NP-hard problems in P.
Written in custom modified gcc C compiler with a crazy ARG ^^ ARG operation (called crazy for malbolge reference)
Does some random bitwise operation given two ARGs (probably 64-bit doubles), ??? computationally intractable to find a sum of products formulation in a truth table even with Google-scale computer resources ???
Crazy operation formats into some weird and random nonexistent opcode MIPS instruction when assembled (.s), does crazy shit with multiplexers in hardware when examined. Does this instruction in O(1) time.
Foundation doesn't know how the crazy operation works. The P=NP algorithm uses crazy operation to work. If containment was breached, then P = NP and cryptography would fail.
Come up with a backstory.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-XXXX is to be performed twice daily, spaced twelve hours apart, using one D-class subject and one netbook with an Internet connection in a soundproofed, windowless room. The two URLs for SCP-XXXX are to be provided to the D-class at the beginning of the procedure on paper. The D-class is to then enter each URL and thus view SCP-XXXX-2 and SCP-XXXX-3. The D-class is to be instructed to shut the laptop screen when the procedure is complete and indicate completion by pressing a transmitting buzzer. Security personnel are to then retrieve the D-class and all materials. Containment specialists are to indirectly verify that the containment procedure was performed by checking the view count for each SCP-XXXX instance using Youtube Analytics.
The netbook is to be logged into SCP-XXXX-A, and a closed environment Internet filter is to be installed on the netbook prohibiting user access to any website or other avenue of digital communication except for the two Youtube URLs necessary for the procedure. The URLs and video IDs of SCP-XXXX are classified and require either Level 3 clearance or authorization from the SCP-XXXX containment team lead (currently Dr. Vuković). The privacy settings for all extant SCP-XXXX instances have been set to “private” in order to restrict the public’s access and are thus accessible only when logged in as SCP-XXXX-A.
The containment team for SCP-XXXX is to undertake efforts to maintain the online presence of SCP-XXXX on Youtube. Embedded Foundation agents employed in Youtube and Google are to manipulate automated Content ID scanners to avoid flagging SCP-XXXX for copyright takedown. Foundation computer security teams are to monitor and prevent any external attempts to access SCP-XXXX-A, including regular obfuscation of the password. Foundation web crawlers are to regularly scan the Internet for mentions of Groups Of Interest and the SCP Foundation in accordance with normal measures to prevent an LV-0 Lifted Veil scenario, with the added proviso that such an information breach may indicate an SCP-XXXX containment breach.
No procedure has been devised to neutralize SCP-XXXX without causing an LV-0 scenario. Any researcher with a testable and reasonable suggestion to do so is welcome to submit it to the SCP-XXXX containment team lead.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a set of two (formerly three) anime opening sequence videos1 hosted on the video-sharing website Youtube. Each video is exactly ninety seconds in duration. All instances of SCP-XXXX were uploaded by the account “Xxx_Seleramis1618_xxX”, which has been designated SCP-XXXX-A. SCP-XXXX-A has not uploaded any other videos, has exhibited no other activity, and has not been logged into by non-Foundation personnel since 20██.
SCP-XXXX instances do not exhibit any anomalous effects until their specific activation event occurs. SCP-XXXX instances are near-exact copies of existing, non-anomalous anime opening videos. Testing has determined that the only differences are visual mirroring and a 5% lower pitch in the audio, common strategies employed to avoid Youtube Content ID detection.
| SCP-XXXX Instance |
Corresponding Animated Work |
Corresponding GoI |
Date Uploaded |
View Count |
| SCP-XXXX-1 (former) | Nichijou | Chaos Insurgency | 05/██/20██ | |
| SCP-XXXX-2 | A Certain Scientific Railgun | Global Occult Coalition | 06/██/20██ | |
| SCP-XXXX-3 | Attack on Titan | Unknown | 06/██/20██ | |
| Table XXXX.1: This table lists the characteristics for all known SCP-XXXX instances. | ||||
An SCP-XXXX instance activates its anomalous properties when it is removed from the Youtube website. Upon the removal of an SCP-XXXX instance, all past viewers of the video will produce written fanfiction2 pieces including elements of the animated work featured in the instance as well as information on one Group Of Interest. The Group Of Interest usually serves an antagonist role in SCP-XXXX-affected fiction documents. These fanfiction pieces are always digitally composed and oftentimes shared on popular fanfiction websites including Fanfiction.net, Wattpad, and Archive of Our Own. Restoring SCP-XXXX to Youtube does not halt the activation of the above anomalous properties.
No other works of fiction have featured in these documents, and each SCP-XXXX instance corresponds to one Group Of Interest without crossover. Subjects are affected regardless of their previous interest in animated shows or fanfiction. Affected subjects display moderate knowledge of plots and characters from the corresponding animated work even without prior exposure aside from SCP-XXXX, and also demonstrate general familiarity with the corresponding Group Of Interest. Although this implies that SCP-XXXX instances anomalously convey this information to viewers, Foundation testing is unable to determine how this is accomplished. Testing with D-class personnel has yielded that the anomalous effect of SCP-XXXX produces a mild compulsion to write fanfiction with the above characteristics, although not to the extent of interfering with daily routines or effecting major behavioral changes. This anomalous effect can be reversed with administration of a class-C amnestic.
If an SCP-XXXX instance is not removed, but is not viewed by a human at least once daily, a small subset of the past viewers of SCP-XXXX will develop the above anomalous condition. This subset population will grow exponentially every day the SCP-XXXX instance is not viewed by a human until theoretically every past viewer has developed the condition.
Incident XXXX-1: On ██/██/20██, Foundation web-crawlers alerted the Director of Site-15 to several mentions of the “Chaos Insurgency” in online documents as part of a general ongoing project to detect LV-0 breaches of secrecy.
Further investigation yielded █████ documents mentioning the Chaos Insurgency, all in the form of fictional narratives and generally concentrated on websites dedicated to fanfiction. Foundation network security teams disabled new uploads to these websites and began the process of removing the documents containing sensitive information. Narrative documents mentioning the Chaos Insurgency then began to appear in heavier concentrations on other sites allowing the sharing of textual information, such as social media and online forums. Mobile Task Forces Mu-4 (“Debuggers”) and Gamma-5 (“Red Herrings”) were called in to evaluate the escalating situation.
MTF Mu-4 operatives noted several correlations between all sensitive documents, including their consistent narrative form and singular focuses on the animated show Nichijou and the Chaos Insurgency. Noting similarities with recovered anomalous items #████ and #████, Mu-4 came to the conclusion that an Internet-based anomaly was involved. Mu-4 requested that Foundation assets retrieve internet search and browsing history data from the National Security Agency’s Utah Data Center for analysis and possible identification of the information breach source.
MTF Mu-4 identified several possible candidate websites as the source of the information breach. The Youtube page containing what would later be designated SCP-XXXX-1 presented the strongest case, however, being found in >95% of browsing histories of those affected. Operatives noted that the Youtube video was taken down for non-anomalous copyright reasons on the day the secrecy breach started. They further noted that the earliest recorded sensitive document was published thirty minutes after the video was removed, and that no sensitive document was published before the removal.
MTF Mu-4 employed the recently developed experimental Rhee-Luxenberg meme detection algorithm, designed to run on dedicated Foundation computational resources. It found evidence of memetic hazards in the video too subtle to identify for the standard meme filters used by Foundation web spiders. The seemingly ordinary nature of these videos allowed them to persist for █ years, accruing hundreds of thousands to millions of views. The removed video and the other two videos on the same channel were then designated SCP-XXXX, and the removal of SCP-XXXX-1 was identified as the source of the secrecy breach. Due to the nature of the anomaly, the O5 Council voted █ to █ to take no immediate action towards the other two instances of SCP-XXXX until the current breach was resolved and proper containment procedures could be devised.
Concurrently, MTF Gamma-5 moved to contain the secrecy breach that had occurred. Gamma-5 estimated that up to ███,███ people were infected with anomalous symptoms. Furthermore, the Internet basis of the anomaly had resulted in a widespread affected population dispersed amongst large unaffected segments that made many mass-amnestic schemes infeasible. In response, MTF Gamma-5 formulated an immediate plan of disseminating a cover story. Official outlets reported that the Chaos Insurgency was a fictional evil organization created, but ultimately not used, for the cancelled TV series [DATA REDACTED] for the purposes of deploying magical artifacts and persons. Officially, the concept of a “Chaos Insurgency” became popular due to a viral internet meme originating from a post on the 4chan imageboard. The cover story and accompanying efforts were based on existing internal Foundation disinformation campaigns regarding the Chaos Insurgency and its history. Although the generic “Chaos Insurgency” name became common knowledge, accurate information regarding its existence, purpose, and capabilities remained obfuscated.
In order to distribute amnestics on the scale necessary to recover from Incident XXXX-1, MTF Gamma-5 devised Operation Red Pasture.
Operation Red Pasture
Foundation Gamma-5 operatives are to conduct a controlled release of the non-anomalous ████ influenza virus in ████████, Mexico. The ████ virus has been engineered to have a 0.02% mortality rate in order to minimize the loss of human life incurred during Operation Red Pasture. Foundation assets in national and international media outlets are to focus reporting on ████ flu outbreaks and exaggerate the risk posed by the virus. The objective of this operation is to strongly encourage, through any means necessary, vaccination against the ████ virus in populations severely affected by SCP-XXXX-1.
In cooperation with Foundation connections in the Centers for Disease Control and equivalent agencies in other countries, the vaccine is to contain class-C amnestic specifically targeted towards counteracting the anomalous effect of SCP-XXXX-1 and engineered to minimize typical post-amnestic symptoms. The objective of Operation Red Pasture is to distribute these amnestics as widely and discreetly as possible through the ████ virus vaccination program.
Operation Red Pasture succeeded in eradicating 9█% of SCP-XXXX-influenced memetic compulsions in heavily affected populations. Foundation agents were dispatched to administer amnestics to the estimated remaining ████ affected people.
Incident XXXX-2: █ days after Incident XXXX-1, Researcher G█████ suggested commandeering SCP-XXXX-A to change the privacy settings of SCP-XXXX-2 and 3 to “private” and thus render the videos unavailable to the public without outright removing them. The SCP-XXXX containment team reviewed and approved the proposal, recommending its application to SCP-XXXX-2 only first and then implementing it for both instances after further review. Foundation network security teams obtained access to SCP-XXXX-A and implemented the proposed course of action for SCP-XXXX-2.
██ hours later, Foundation web crawlers detected ██ new fanfiction documents involving the Global Occult Coalition. These were summarily deleted and the privacy setting of SCP-XXXX-2 was immediately reverted to “public” in the interim. Due to the significantly smaller nature of this breach, Foundation agents were dispatched to administer class-C amnestics to the ██ people affected. The reversion to public status halted the induction of new anomalous infections.
Further testing conducted afterwards concluded that this behavior depended on the view counts of the SCP-XXXX instances and that they required at least one new human view per day. Although automated bots raise the viewcount, testing has found that they alone do not suffice and that human viewers are necessary in order to avoid an SCP-XXXX containment breach. Containment is possible even with a “private” setting so long as this condition is maintained. The current Special Containment Procedures were devised in light of this information.
Addendum XXXX-1:
To: Site-15 Director
From: Dr. Vuković, SCP-XXXX Containment Team Lead
Date: ██/██/20██
Subject: Memo regarding SCP-XXXX-3Given the current containment procedures and the "private" setting on each extant SCP-XXXX instance, we would expect each view count to increase by two every day.
The view count for SCP-XXXX-3 is incrementing about every half hour.
My fellow researchers and I privy to this information thus far have no idea how this is possible. We've consulted with MTF Mu-4 informally, but their attention is occupied with another SCP at the moment. As it stands, SCP-XXXX is partially out of containment. Please advise.
lorem ipsum
lorem ipsum
—-
19344
263 lol
I wake up, my chest sunken into the layers of snow. Fatigue and layers of wintry coats weigh me down as I struggle to even lift my head. I can’t remember how or why I ended up here, in my current attire. I try to shake off the small snowpile that had accumulated on my back and realize that I can’t feel my fingers or toes, only the blunt protrusions of my limbs against the normal force of the ground.
I see a blurry outline. I can’t tell if the indistinctness is due to my eyes, the unabating snowfall, or the distance, but I shout anyway. I raise my arm towards the figure and heave myself towards it. Maybe it’s hostile, maybe it’s actually a polar bear that wants to eat me, but I find myself unable to care. Any deviation from the white dunes around me and the grey sky above was welcome.
I think it spots me, and it strolls towards me. It’s a girl, around high-school age. She’s wearing nothing except a short-sleeved white shirt and a plaid red skirt - only a green scarf, fluttering in the howling tundra currents, indicates that she is even aware of where she is.
“Holy shit.” Perhaps not the best way to introduce myself to a stranger, but it was my gut reaction. “You’re going to freeze to death in that ridiculous school uniform.”
She crouches in front of me. Her green eyes gleam and tiny snowflakes seem to dither her black hair into a careworn grey.
“What does it mean to ‘freeze’?” she asks.
“It means to get really, fucking, cold, like I am right now,” I reply. I was freezing, and I wasn’t inclined to spend my last moments debating philosophy.
She got up. “Reading a dictionary isn’t a very difficult task. I can say that you’re freezing just as well as anyone else. But when I say it, does it mean anything?”
“Of course it does,” I rebut. “The fact of the matter is, I’m lying on the ground, I can’t feel my fingers anymore, and I feel really, really cold. How does your saying it make any difference?”
She glanced away towards the white expanse, twirling a long strand of hair between her fingers. “Are you familiar with Searle’s Chinese Room thought experiment?”
“Does it look like I’m familiar with anything?” I spat. “I don’t know where am or how I got here. Maybe you could tell me that first?”
“Can a man who knows no Chinese, armed with Chinese dictionaries, be considered to truly understand the language when he outputs translations?” she asked. “When one tries to define ‘freezing’, one introduces the concept of ‘cold’. We could define it in terms of temperature, and then molecular vibrations, and the concepts of matter and energy and so on and so forth.”
She gazed towards the ground. “Sentences, words, are just abstract symbols devoid of meaning without a concrete grounding in the real world. Almost everything I say is meaningless.”
“How could that be true?” I ask. “Who are you? What are you?”
She formed a peace sign with her hand and placed it sideways near her eye in a kawaii pose. “You can call me Shizuki-chan.”
She extended a hand towards me, and it was only then that I noticed the broken handcuff dangling on her wrist. “Oh, don’t mind that. Just take my hand.”
I grabbed a hold and she pulled me upright. The wind threatened to knock me over again as I struggled to maintain my footing in the shifting snow. She pulled me towards her, pushing her cheek against my neck.
“I can’t feel anything. The cold, the warmth, inside or out. You, too. Even as your fingers move, even as you type this and present it for all the world to see, it will only be a half-remembered dream. You’ll only recall bits and pieces, like the shreds of a long-ago calculus class. I’m sorry it had to be like this.”
She wrapped her arms around me. “But I’ll always be there with you. I’ll make sure of it. Nobody will ever take me away from you again. Not this time. Nobody will make you forget.”
I couldn’t see her face, but I’m sure she smiled.
“Maybe I’ll finally come and pay a visit.”
Recovered Document Details:
Origin: www.fanfiction.net
Author: abraxas2718
Published: June ██, 20██
Category: Anime/Manga > A Certain Mathematical Conjecture
Summary: Short character piece about everyone’s favorite Shizuki. Warning: self-insert
Cover Image: [COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED]
Sean slung his backpack onto the couch as he walked into his home. Today was just another wasted day spent at school. The teachers tried, they always did, as the year drew to a close. Their efforts were especially wasted on a college-bound second-semester senior, however.
He unbuttoned the top part of his shirt - even with the AC, the sweltering June heat permeated the house. Unzipping the nearly-empty backpack, he retrieved his Macbook and set it on a wooden desk next to the living room. The dull shimmer was nicked here and there from four years of rough use, and Sean swore that the bootup time had doubled from when he had bought it. He tapped impatiently as the progress bar inched its way across a grey screen under a watchful Apple logo.
He clicked the little Safari button as soon as it showed up. The browser took a few seconds delay to launch. The address bar glowed blue as Sean deliberated upon which site to check first. Giving in to his conscience, he punched in the address his school’s assignments site before launching another tab for his real priority - Facebook.
He scrolled past the first two posts in his newsfeed - a picture of his friends at a party and a shared Clickhole article on celebrity doppelgangers. He hated Clickhole - it was intended as a parody, he granted, but the satire site had clogged his newsfeed to the point where he thought it was part of the problem.
Sean stopped upon seeing the third post, staring at the image. He hadn’t realized that Sathvik was into anime, but then again, he had met all manners of unexpected fans over the years. It was a picture of a rather attractive anime girl, arms folded in a tsundere way. She had long black hair - Sean personally preferred more realistic hair colors on anime characters. Without a second thought, Sean liked the post and shared the image on his own timeline.
It was only after he saw that same girl in the sixth post in a row did he begin to suspect was something was off. Most of his friends weren’t into anime, and even among fellow fans he couldn’t recall any new or popular series featuring the girl. It just seemed to be a good-quality-
He lost his train of thought. He noticed that the air was thicker, much like a sauna’s, and felt that he would choke if he didn’t breathe in slow, measured gulps. He drifted into unconsciousness to the rhythm of his breaths…
“Hey, we’ve got a situation here.” Margaret shook John awake - he realized, to his embarrassment, that he had dozed off on the job.
“Listen, it’s alright, it’s a pretty long flight anyway. A bunch of the passengers have been getting unruly towards the back, so I’m going to try to deal with them first. If they have more hostile intentions, I need you to ring up the air marshall. He’s somewhere towards the front.”
Margaret looked rather flattering in her red flight attendant uniform as she got up and walked towards the back of the plane, blond hair swinging behind her. He couldn’t see much through the tinted screens separating first class from cabin, but several passengers had indeed stood up and were holding up iPads and tablets to the passengers behind them.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to have to ask you to please be seated. FAA regulations require that passengers obey all lighted signs and crew member instructions…” John could hear in the distance.
Several more people in the back rows stood up. One of the guys holding up a tablet, a stubbled fellow with a beret and a scarf, started saying something to Margaret. He then showed her whatever was on his tablet - it was too far for John to make the image out, but Margaret fell silent upon seeing it.
She then started walking towards the front of the plane, a line of people from the back rows following her.
“Margaret, what the hell are you doing?” John asked. “You were supposed to get them to settle down and sit down!”. He averted his eyes to the blue carpeted floor - he had no idea what the passenger had shown Margaret or how it had affected her, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
“Listen John, we have a very important message for the captain and the passengers. It needs to get played on the in-flight entertainment system so that everyone sees it.”
“Oh hell no, you’re not getting into the flight deck,” he responded.
As the group approached the front, he heard someone getting up. He heard Margaret’s voice, “Listen, you’ll need to get out of our way or…”
“You need to listen - you need to return these passengers to their seats or there will be consequences…”
The air marshall fell silent and the footsteps started again. If they had showed him the picture like they did with Margaret…but how could a picture cause such a strong, predictable response? It was impossible. Nonetheless, John covered his head in his arms and hid in plain sight as the group approached. If the marshall had joined them, there wasn’t much he could do against a man armed with a pistol. He could only hope that the armored cockpit door would suffice.
John felt his hair being pulled as a rather muscular man - probably the marshall - forced his face upwards. By now, half the plane had gotten up and a dozen people were all cradling tablets displaying variations of an image. Images of the same anime girl, in a white and red school uniform with her long hair flowing in a breeze.
“Is this - “ John muttered before he glanced at Margaret.
“We need to get the galley cart,” Margaret ordered.
“Of course,” replied John.
06/██/20██
To: MTF Commander Eta-10 ("See No Evil"), MTF Commander Nu-7 ("Hammer Down")
From: MTF Commander Mu-4 ("Debuggers")To Mobile Task Force Commanders,
Be advised, this situation has spiraled beyond the expertise of Mobile Task Force Mu-4.
Recommend that SCP-2223 be reclassified as Keter.
Dr. ██████
Commander of MTF Mu-4
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe/Euclid/Keter (indicate which class)
Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the procedures]
Description: [Paragraphs explaining the description]
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
Random (terrible) Ideas: Alexylva launches an OpenCourseWare! Also it overwrites personal memories with math background.
An object which requires all descriptions to be lies (maybe a -J?)
The Anomalous Social Network/App/Silicon Valley software
[something] that makes people think close relations are anomalies. (SCP-2127) (two red herring humanoid anomalies, then they identify the effects of this SCP but the wrong object, then finally find the correct source of memetic anomaly)
2^16 (or maybe 8^8)-dimensional Cayley-Dickson-constructed algebra that somehow preserves commutativity, associativity, well-orderedness, etc. and makes people lose the ability to commute, associate, etc.
TV show that communicates through subtitles and does math.
Political bubbles: A webcomic meme what makes people who view it perceive it as a cogent argument against whatever they believe. It has no further compulsive effect, aside from the force of its arguments.
<Modulum83>: PandoraNuker: combine the 4-dimensional containment with [chicken] nuggets and you've got a winner
<PandoraNuker>: nuggets are like Popplers
<PandoraNuker>: we've actually been eating the larvae of some extradimensional 4D entity
<PandoraNuker>: and now they've found out and are pissed off
A job listing website that lists all sorts of normal jobs (CS, consulting, finance) but also random ones that don't exist, in companies that sometimes don't exist, and even internal jobs within the Foundation. Has descriptions, qualifications, comments, and particularly benefits and salary.
A bunch of Foundation personnel get a bunch of emails with job listings (similar to LinkedIn), thought to be anomalous but it turns out someone on Foundation IT attached to the SCP got recruited as an email blaster with generous pay.
Makes people discontent with their current jobs, career advancement, and financial situation, particularly by emphasizing all the pay and benefits of other positions while subtly jabbing at their current ones. Non-anomalous though, plays on fear of career stagnation among millennials.
A time traveling Foundation agent sent from the future with a signed order from O5-5 to obliterate the US government (or some other catastrophic event) to prevent an XK-class scenario, armed with numerous futuristic technologies and an antimatter briefcase bomb.
Subject: SCP-2223
Photographed Activity: Head-on image of a printed, non-cognitohazardous instance of SCP-2223-1 on a wooden tabletop. SCP-2223-A is depicted in the style of Japanese animation.
Photo Result: Head-on image of a photograph of a grinning human female with attire and physical characteristics identical to that of SCP-2223-A. Subject is speaking at the distant front of a lecture hall packed with hundreds of students wearing uniforms similar to that of SCP-2223-A. Several mathematical proofs written in Japanese appear on the blackboards. Foundation mathematicians identified them as the spectral theorem (introduced in undergraduate linear algebra courses) and a partial proof of the Kelly-Ulam conjecture (an unsolved problem in graph theory).
for images and crit credits
Note to self: Go to PandoraNukerPreviewer to work on drafts.
