Frequently given feedback

The Foundation uses the metric system. Your units should be in kilograms, meters, liters, etc.

SCP stands for special containment procedures. The Foundation, in-universe, will never refer to an anomaly as an SCP. They will call it an "object" or "item", or in the case of living things they'll call it an "entity" or "organism". Characters in their dialogue may sometimes call an anomaly a "scip" or "skip", but this is a colloquial phrase. Neither "skip" nor "SCP" should ever be used to refer to an anomaly in the Foundation's official documentation.

One problem I notice is that you're writing about this SCP object as if it's a person, when to the Foundation it is most certainly not.

  • Don't use human pronouns like "she" and "him". Use the pronoun "it".
  • An anomaly should be strictly confined to its containment cell whenever possible — it has very little freedom, and it certainly isn't allowed to roam any part of the facility.
  • The Foundation should never acknowledge the object's personhood in a formal document — keep use of its name to the absolute minimum and be sure that you aren't making its containment procedures too comfortable.

The Foundation treats anomalies, even (or especially) sentient anomalies, as things, not people. This is one of the core tenants of the clinical tone that is so iconic of the SCP Wiki. Check out the guide to writing humanoid SCP objects for additional advice to aid you in avoiding common pitfalls when writing a humanoid SCP. Remember, the Foundation is a cold and monolithic organization that could hardly care less for individuals.

Certain precautions like surveillance, locks, security codes, and guards can all go unmentioned in special containment procedures. These are the things that can be assumed to already exist as standard containment procedures for every single anomaly the Foundation has in containment.

Common practices that don't need to be explained include things along the lines of:

  • Doors having locks
  • Access codes
  • Security cameras/surveillance
  • Regular guard patrols/guards stationed somewhere
  • "No unauthorized access"/Punishment for unauthorized access

These and other guidelines to writing solid and logical special containment procedures are elaborated on in the helpful resource Dr. Mackenzie's Containment Protocols and/or Doing the Safety Dance.

There's a really neat four-step structure that works for most SCP descriptions and gets outlined in the guide Documentation Tips. It goes as follows and kind of assumes at least one paragraph for each section:

  1. Physical appearance
  2. Anomalous properties
  3. Origin/discovery
  4. Current status
  • Numbers 3 and 4 are optional but really good to include when you're looking to flesh out an SCP.

A big shortcoming in this article is that you don't have the clinical tone down quite right. One of the most important things to keep in mind when writing clinically is the difference between what you know and what you can only assume.

  • You know: physical measurements/characteristics (dimensions, material, etc.), statistical facts (the item explodes in 70% of all testing), and anecdotes/past events (the discovery occurred on this date and this happened).
  • You can only assume: absolutes (the item has always/never been observed to do this), motivations/feelings (the anomaly appeared distressed/exhibited signs of distress), and speculation (it seems likely that the anomaly will one day do this/is connected to this other thing).

In other words, scientists don't say "the sun will rise tomorrow morning", they say "all evidence indicates that the sun will rise tomorrow morning."

It's important to know that this doesn't mean you should use phrases like "appears/seems to be" in place of "is" whenever a situation contains an element of uncertainty. In most cases, there's a wide variety of ways to completely circumvent the need for "is/are" verbs and related substitutes. The following example should outline this:

  • Non-clinical: The anomaly (is trying)/(wants) to cooperate with Foundation personnel.
  • Poorly clinical: The anomaly seems to desire cooperation with Foundation personnel.
  • Good clinical: The anomaly has expressed a desire to cooperate with Foundation personnel.

Check out the guide Clinical Tone: Declassified for more advice on how to achieve the cold and clinical tone that remains so iconic of the SCP Wiki.

There's an important distinction to be made between the meanings of "redacted"/"access denied" and "data expunged" — the former mean that the data is above your clearance, the latter means that the Foundation has deleted the information completely.

It can be tricky to redact information in a way that actually improves the content of an article rather than make it worse. Blacking out the names of people and specific locations is generally acceptable, but anything more than that is at risk of coming across as covering up something which you couldn't be bothered to write.

General rule of thumb: Redaction is like nuclear power — when used right, it's great (or at the very least it doesn't cause any harm), but when improperly handled, it's a disaster. If you haven't had training in Zen and the art of DATA EXPUNGED, it's probably best not to use it at all.

The interview log isn't formatted correctly. You can find a template to copy-paste under "Templates" in the How to Write an SCP guide, which you should have carefully read in its entirety before trying to write an SCP.

The core concept of this anomaly is exceedingly simple and not altogether an effective foundation for an SCP article. It lacks emotional punch and intrigue, and it evokes little to no pathos. I would advise you to go back to the drawing board: take ideas to the Brainstorming forum and really develop them before you write a new draft.

You should know what your objective for an SCP as an author is before you start writing it. A sense of awe, eeriness, sadness? Think about what you want the audience to take away from the experience of reading your article.

As RogetRoget put it so eloquently in his SCP Writing Walkthrough, SCPs are stories first and foremost. The goal of a story is to draw an emotional response from the reader — whether that emotion is horror, wonder, amusement, etc. doesn't matter. When a concept by itself isn't enough to get that emotional response, an SCP can often accomplish the task through a narrative/story.

You can check out some more Series IV stuff to get an idea of how to communicate a good narrative through a clinical article. Here are some of my favorites:

  1. SCP-3092 — Gorilla Warfare
  2. SCP-3029 — Tabby's Star
  3. SCP-3602 — Legacy of the Monkey King

Drafts are meant to be written in your Sandbox before being submitted to the Drafts and Critique forum for feedback. However, it's often best to pitch some ideas in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum to further develop them before going ahead with a full draft of anything.

While cross-linking is encouraged, cross-linking only to Series I and popular articles tends to come off as trying to ride on their success. Check out the Crosslinks Guide to learn about how good cross-linking is done.