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Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained at Site ██ and is to be cared for as a non anomalous black source tree. SCP-XXXX is to be interviewed twice per month. Additional interviews may be scheduled should it wish for. As reward for good behavior, personnel may pour a small amount of whisky on its roots, up to 250 ml per month.
Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 have been proven safe for human consumption. Personnel are encouraged to consume SCP-XXXX-1 if they wish, as this helps ensure SCP-XXXX’s cooperation.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a black spurce tree (Picea mariana), measuring approximately 6m tall with a trunk diameter of 17cm. SCP-XXXX is sapient and able to conserve in modern English. It is not currently understood how SCP-XXXX emits vocalization. Unlike regular members of the Picea family, SCP-XXXX does not produce cones. Instead, SCP-XXXX grows flowers and fruit similar to those of banana trees (Musa acuminata).
The fruits produced by SCP-XXXX (referred to as SCP-XXXX-1) can be differentiated from common Cavendish bananas by their orange tinge, firmer flesh and slight nutty flavor.

SCP-XXXX was recovered on 30/07/████, in ████████, Canada after videos of an “angry talking tree” were put online. The Foundation quickly moved SCP-XXXX to containment, and the videos were explained as a hoax.

Document SCP-XXXX-04:

The following is an interview conducted by Researcher Alexandre Tremblay with SCP-XXXX following initial containment and its replanting at site ██.
<Begin Log>

Researcher Tremblay: Good evening, SCP-XXXX. How are you feeling?

SCP-XXXX: Good evening to you too, sir. I am feeling very well thank you. I am starting to > really get enamored with my new location. Truly a prime piece of real estate, I say.
Tremblay: Good to hear. Now, would you like to discuss the reasons leading to your containment?
SCP-XXXX: Is it about my recent outburst? I’m so sorry. I just don’t know what happened. I guess I had a little too much pent-up resentment in me, and when I saw this young man eating these vile counterfeits, I just couldn’t hold it in. This will not happen again I promise.
Tremblay: I’ve seen the videos. You seen to hold a grudge against members of the Musa acuminata genus, is it?
SCP-XXXX: Oh, do not get me started on those accursed Musas. I don’t understand how they can stand so proud when their only achievement was stolen from the work of an honest worker. Some have no shame, I say. Absolutely no shame at all
Tremblay: Could you elaborate?
SCP-XXXX: Fine, I do suppose I do own you an explanation after all. You see, I’m what you could call an inventor. I specialize in the development of new type of fruits. And these, sir, are my greatest creation! Behold!
(SCP-XXXX’s branches shake, and a bundle of SCP-XXXX-1 falls out)
Tremblay: Interesting. These look a lot like bananas.
SCP-XXXX: These aren’t just bananas, these are hanans. The original design! I invented those, and all those scoundrels Musas did was steal the idea. Even butchered the name I had spent so many hours thinking of. Can you believe this?
Tremblay: I’m sure it must have been very frustrating to you.
SCP-XXXX: And they didn’t even get it right. They could have at least made those pale, bland travesties they called bananas as good as the original. But no, that would have demanded them hard work. They don’t even put beta-carotene in their fruits. All those oversized weeds did was flood the market with these abominations and my dear hanabs get forgotten. I hope fungus infects every last one of those Musas and that they rot in place until –[Pauses] My apologies, it seems I got carried away, again…

<End Log>

Addendum SCP-XXXX-A: After ██ months in containment, SCP-XXXX has stated that it was time to leave the “banana incident” behind and move on. It has also demanded the Foundation’s help in testing a new fruit he was working. Approval from Site Director ███████ was granted on 08/05/20██. Any new variety of fruit produced by SCP-XXXX is to be tested for human consumption as detailed in Testing Procedure XXXX-03, and added to Log XXXX-02.