SARJ

Item #: SCP-####

Object Class: ██████

Special Containment Procedures: The following information must not be read or declassified by any Foundation personnel. This document shall remain classified until SCP-#### has successfully been contained. All development of strategies regarding the apprehension of and containment of SCP-#### must take place in telecommunications-proofed rooms via non-electronic means (including "word of mouth" and written correspondence).

Description: ███-#### ██ █ █████ █████ ████ ███ █████ ████████ █████████ ██████ ██ ███ ██████████ ███ █████████████ ███ ███████████. ███-#### █████████ ███ ███████ ██ ████████ ███ ██████████, ████████, ██ ████████ ████████ ███████ █████ █████████ ███████, ████ ██ ███ ███████████ ██ ███ ███████ ████████ ██████ ██████████ █████████. ███-#### ███ ████ █████████ ████ ███████ ████ ██████████ [██████████ ███████ “██████-██████” █████, ████████ ██████ ███ █████-█████] ███-███████ ███████████; ███ ███████, ██ ██ ██████████ ██ ████████████ ████ ███-#### ████████ ██ “████ █ ██████” ███ ██ █████████ ████ █████████, ███-#### ███████████ ███████ █████ ██ ███ ███████ ██ ███ ██████. ███-#### ██ █████████ ██████████ █ ████-████████ ██████ ██ ███ ██████████ ███ ██ ███ ██████ ██ █ ██████ ███████████ ███ ████████ ██████.

███-#### ███ ████ █████████ █ ███████ ████ ███ ███████ █████ ██ ███████████-█████████, ████ ██ ████████████, ████████ ███████, ███ █████████████. █████████, ███-#### ██ ██ ███ █████ ████████ █ ███████ █████ ███ ██ █████████ ███ ████████ ██ ██ ███████ ██ █████████ ███████████ ████ ███████. ███ ██████ ██ ███-####’█ █████████ ██████████ ███ ██████, ███████, ███████████ ████████ ██ ████████ ███ ████████ ███ ██████████ ███ ████████ ██ ███████ ███████████.

Addendum ####-1: A “Hunter-Killer” meme, really? Did none of you consider that my immune system compensates for exposure to memetic agents? If you were receptive to a bunch of information you shouldn't be your entire life, you’d probably have a means of resisting it, right?

Regardless, this is the last time I’m going to warn you idiots. I’m not interested in releasing all your dirty little secrets to the general public. First off, that’d be fucking stupid, and secondly, I understand why you do what you do. But you containment zealots are probably still going to come after me, so I’m offering an olive branch.

I’ll be returning Field Agent Demarcay shortly, only slightly worse for wear. I figure you guys don’t have a very clear idea of the limits of my abilities, so I’ll lend you a hand: Information I don’t know where to find is information I need to extract via more…conventional means. Consequentially, you’ll be receiving Field Agent Demarcay’s toes at a location I’ve already disclosed to one of your half-baked researchers. The rest of him will come later, once I’ve confirmed that you’ve stopped sending agents to capture me.

Call me.

Love, “Aditi”

P.S.: I’ve attached a revision of this containment procedure for you. I strongly urge you to read it. And don’t worry, no sorry attempts to kill you all with a bloody text-based meme. I would’ve already tried that.