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Instance of SCP-3275-1 obtained by the Foundation for chemical analysis. Olives noted to emit a foul sulfurous odor. Original order was for a "vegetarian pizza".
Item #: SCP-3275
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Any manifestations of SCP-3275 are to be closely monitored; currently the Foundation is to allow SCP-3275 to occur so long as the phenomenon manifests exclusively under specific controlled conditions.
All instances of SCP-3275-1 that come to Foundation attention are to be confiscated for analysis and subsequently disposed of using designated anomaly-byproduct receptacles. Any instances of SCP-3275-1 ordered by assigned personnel are to be delivered to a facility owned by the Foundation (see general procedure below).
Level-2 or higher security clearance is required for experimental handling of SCP-3275-1 instances. Personnel interacting with SCP-3275-1 are required to wear a Level A hazmat suit or similar PPE while the pizza box in question is open. Personnel assigned to SCP-3275 are to make note of any SCP-3275-1 instances that deviate significantly from reasonable expectations, and report such incidents to the SCP-3275 Project Head.1
SCP-3275-2 is currently allowed to maintain employment at █████████ Pizza.2 SCP-3275-2 is not to be given any delivery orders to unauthorized customers. Should a particularly hazardous instance of SCP-3275-1 manifest, SCP-3275-2 may be detained for questioning or additional cautionary action.
The general procedure for ordering and receiving a delivery of SCP-3275-1 occurs as follows:
- A secure phone call3 from a Foundation-owned non-site building is made to the █████████ Pizza dining establishment SCP-3275-2 is employed at, requesting a pizza delivery. SCP-3275-2 is specified to be the deliverer. Any toppings noted in the order may be determined by the Foundation researcher who will perform analysis of the generated SCP-3275-1 instance.
- An instance of SCP-3275-1 will be delivered to a Foundation-owned facility equipped with biological containment capabilities; security guards are to allow SCP-3275-2 entrance to the facility upon confirming identity via CCTV cameras. SCP-3275-2 will deliver the instance to a security station. Security personnel have been instructed not to make direct physical contact with the cardboard box containing the instance of SCP-3275-1.
- A designated Foundation staff member will intercept SCP-3275-2 and exchange the instance of SCP-3275-1 for the standard payment for the corresponding non-anomalous pizza variant, as per the █████████ Pizza menu. SCP-3275-2 is to vacate the premises as quickly as possible without raising suspicion.
- The intercepted instance of SCP-3275-1 is kept in its cardboard carrying box and transferred to a chemical experimentation room; from this point, only researchers assigned to SCP-3275 may handle the instance. Said researchers will analyze and prepare documentation of the instance of SCP-3275-1, which is to be subsequently disposed of in accordance with its composition.
Description: SCP-3275 is a recurring anomalous phenomenon that affects commercially-produced pizzas delivered by individual ██████ ████████ (designated as SCP-3275-2). Pizzas affected by SCP-3275 are referred to as instances of SCP-3275-1, and have been noted to differ in the extreme from orders placed by customers; specifically requested toppings will be absent, and explicitly unwanted ones will be present.
Furthermore, instances of SCP-3275-1 might possess some sort of unpalatable addition to the pizza, including excess of toppings not ordered by the recipient, variants of standard pizza ingredients giving off unpleasant odors, and inedible objects embedded into the pizza. (Addendum 3275-A contains various experiment logs with examples of different SCP-3275-1 manifestations.)
SCP-3275-2 (██████ ████████) is a non-anomalous human male, who is 22 years of age as of ██-██-████. SCP-3275-2 stands 1.81 meters tall, and weighs 68.5 kilos; a mugshot is available upon request (contact the Project Head for such details) for Foundation employees assigned to SCP-3275. It is noted that SCP-3275-2 frequently appears sloppily-dressed or seems to be suffering from lack of sleep. SCP-3275-2 is currently employed as a pizza delivery-person for █████████ Pizza, and at present has held this position for 3 months. It is noted that every pizza SCP-3275-2 has delivered following Foundation intervention has invariably become an instance of SCP-3275-1.
Security camera footage retrieved from SCP-3275-2's workplace seems to indicate that the SCP-3275 anomaly manifests at some point following SCP-3275-2 receiving a pizza for delivery, and preceding said delivery to the customer who placed the order. SCP-3275-2 has been recorded receiving correctly-prepared pizzas from the kitchen staff, confirming delivery to the correct addresses. The retrieved store footage further indicates that SCP-3275-2 does not interfere with or sabotage any pizzas given to him. SCP-3275 has not been recorded to affect any other delivery staff of █████████ Pizza, and SCP-3275-2 insists that no other anomalous activity has occurred him at any other point in his life.4 It is unknown at which point in time during the delivery process SCP-3275 actually occurs.
Presently, the consensus regarding SCP-3275's range of effect is up for debate. Recent analyses of SCP-3275-1 instances have shown a certain degree of instability in SCP-3275 manifestations, suggesting that there is reason to be wary of further unpredictable variation concerning the anomaly and its range of occurrence.5
Addendum 3275-A: Selected excerpts of notable incidents and experimental logs.
Incident Log 3275-000
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese.
Delivered: Ham pizza with mushrooms.
Notes: This incident brought SCP-3275 to the Foundation's attention. The order was made from the home of Dr. O'Nelly (a Research Assistant assigned to Site-76), who upon receiving the delivery was subjected to SCP-3275-2's complaints of the recurring problem. O'Nelly requested that SCP-3275-2 be brought in for questioning by the Foundation, after calling █████████ Pizza to confirm SCP-3275-2's claims.
Experiment Log 3275-002
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Sausage pizza with olives, mushrooms and cheddar.
Delivered: Tuna pizza with garlic, asparagus, basil and mozzarella.
Notes: SCP-3275-1 instances confirmed to not necessarily contain the same number of toppings as requested in the order.
Experiment Log 3275-004
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Pizza with nothing on it, aside from the standard tomato sauce bottom layer.
Delivered: Pizza crust with eggs and meatballs spread over it. A shredded rubber glove was also present, lying in the center of the pizza.
Notes: While the tomato sauce was usually present by default, it seems that explicitly asking for the sauce caused it to be absent here. The glove, as noted by SCP-3275-2 (who was also sneezing profusely), seemed to be "just another fucking thing that would make me look bad on the worst days".
Experiment Log 3275-010
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Sausage pizza with pineapples and eggplant, no $100 bills.
Delivered: Pepperoni pizza with hot sauce and seven $100 bills, all burnt, crumpled or ripped to the point of being useless. No serial number could be identified from the bills.
Notes: SCP-3275-1 instances can contain non-food toppings, which manifest as if prepared like regular, edible ingredients.
Experiment Log 3275-012
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Pepperoni pizza with olives and blue cheese.
Delivered: Ham pizza with bell peppers and liquid diphenadione6.
Notes: This is the first time SCP-3275-1 manifested a topping unsafe for human consumption. The cooks at █████████ Pizza report that they do own 'a container of KillRat', a brand of rat poison. SCP-3275-2 noted to have appeared particularly ill upon delivery of this pizza, prompting intervention by Foundation personnel. SCP-3275-2's living conditions were noted to be hazardous due to unwashed laundry, undisposed trash, and buildup of mildew near windows.
Experiment Log 3275-013
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Ham pizza with pineapple and red peppers.
Delivered: Ham pizza with pineapple and red peppers.
Notes: Prior to returning to work, SCP-3275-2 noted that he "finally got around to" cleaning his apartment and responding to utilities bills he had neglected. SCP-3275-2 was noted to have shaved his facial hair and improved his personal hygiene regimen as well.
Experiment Log 3275-019
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Cheese pizza.
Delivered: Cheese pizza with excess quantity of tomato sauce.
Notes: SCP-3275-2 observed to have been regressing to previous health-hazardous behaviors, most notably neglecting personal hygiene. Provision of additional intervention was discussed and deferred for the time being.
Experiment Log 3275-025
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Cheese pizza.
Delivered: Sausage pizza covered with Camponotus sp. (carpenter ants). Closer inspection revealed all ant specimens to have been infected by a radioactive variant of the insect-pathogenising fungus Ophiocordyceps unilateralis.
Notes: At time of delivery, SCP-3275-2 was noted to have a severe cough. Investigation of SCP-3275-2's apartment uncovered an unpaid electricity bill and a cabinet filled with inexpensive "instant meals" and dirty disposable plastic utensils. Foundation intervention reinstated; SCP-3275-2 given access to therapy and a regular apartment cleaning service.
Due to SCP-3275 manifestation seemingly being related to SCP-3275-2's lifestyle, provision of health and career counseling to SCP-3275-2 has been proposed.
Addendum 3275-B: Foundation personnel performed regular interviews upon initial contact with SCP-3275-2. The first of these interviews is below.
Interviewed: SCP-3275-2
Interviewer: Dr. Ganz
Foreword: Interview conducted on ██-██-████, date of Foundation personnel's first in-person contact with SCP-3275-2.<Begin Log, 15:40:38>
Dr. Ganz: Alright, I know we introduced ourselves to one another right before this, but I need you to state your name for the record, please.
SCP-3275-2: Oh, uh…right, ██████.
Dr. Ganz: Last name too, please.
SCP-3275-2: Oh, shit, I didn't know I had to man, sorry. It's ████████.
Dr. Ganz: Thank you. So, you know what this interview is about, right?
SCP-3275-2: Man, me and those fucking pizzas, man. It's shitty for me too, honestly. Though I don't really get why this all is necessary, no. Like, what are you, like a cop? This feels like I'm really, like, being detained or something.
Dr. Ganz: Right now we really just need you to answer some questions. You're not currently being accused of anything.
SCP-3275-2: Alright, 'cause I swear dude, I'm not messing with the pizzas. I swear. It's like I'm being, like, sabotaged or something. I don't think I've gotten a single one right.
Dr. Ganz: Not one? Since the first day you worked there?
SCP-3275-2: Not a single fucking one. And this just happens to me, 'cause like, I asked my colleague ███, and he's had, like, no problems like this. No one else that I asked did. Is someone out to frame me for something? Again, I don't really know what this, like, place is, but you gotta find a way to fix this, man. Why does this only happen to me?
Dr. Ganz: Right, so you have no idea what causes this, correct?
SCP-3275-2: I swear, my man, I don't. This thing, like, only happens when I deliver on the job. If I, like, pass my friend a box of chocolates, the chocolates don't change, know what I mean? Because he didn't order them. Though I don't know if it would happen with chocolates at all. I've only ever done pizza delivery.
Dr. Ganz: So it's pizza delivery specifically that seems to be the problem here. Is there anything odd about this job in particular then? Anything that stands out to you in your memory that could be of relevance?
SCP-3275-2: Nothing, man. This is the most, like, basic job ever. In fact, it being so fucking low-tier is why my mom hated it.
Dr. Ganz: You're using past tense. About your mom.
SCP-3275-2: Yeah, she passed away right before I started on my first day at this job.
Dr. Ganz: I'm sorry to hear that. She hated this job, you said?
SCP-3275-2: Well, it's like…she always thought I could do better, know what I mean? That I'm 'underperforming' by getting a job like this. That I, like, should aim higher or something. Thing is, I'm an adult, you know? I can make the choices about my own life. I'm not, like, living the dream or anything, but I could be happy where I'm at. But my mom used to tell me that, like, I should always be looking for what more I can do and stuff. How to, like, keep getting better.
Dr. Ganz: Did your mom mean a lot to you?
SCP-3275-2: She did…and like, I'm really sad that she's gone, it's just…she was just so on my back all the time, you know? '██████, clean this. ██████, fix that. ██████, go run some more errands.' Like there was always something else I had to do. Always more to worry about. Couldn't catch a break ever.
Dr. Ganz: You lived with your mom then, seeing as she told you when to clean up?
SCP-3275-2: I did. Judge all you want, but like, I've just always been short on cash. That's why I have to even have this shitty job in the first place. And I can't even get that right. Finding the job was hard enough but now this? And I've still got, like, bills and stuff.
Dr. Ganz: Alright, that will be all then. Thank you.
SCP-3275-2: No, wait, I have, like, a ton of things to ask about this, man. Is it really true that you're paying my boss to not fire me?
Dr. Ganz: We can discuss further questions off-record.
<End Log, 15:43:21>
Discussion is underway regarding allowing SCP-3275-2 to transfer employment to a Foundation-owned catering company. Revision of containment procedures and allocation of specialty housing for SCP-3275-2 is pending.
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This is a co-authored piece by Scented_Shadow and
Zyn!
Many thanks to our reviewers in chat! MrAnakinSpecter, Joreth, LadyKatie, Tufto, Jekeled, trots/tretter, and AidenEldritch
Also everyone in the forum! http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-2232578/excuse-me-this-is-the-wrong-pizza
The image was taken by myself, with my own phone, of a pizza I ordered. I digitally altered the colors slightly.
Zyn: Okay, so here's where we'll do the talking for progression of the article. I'm currently thinking that most of the article is pretty good; it just needs to be trimmed for length and fixed up a bit for clinical tone.
For the backstory, I'm thinking that the unfortunate pizza delivery dude had a falling-out with someone over the pizza job, and that person is now determined to wreck his relationships with other people as part of an "I told you so" move?
Scented_Shadow: First, lemme reply to your message. Below that I'll paste my suggestions from the message I sent previous.
I love those fishies! Pretty colors too (Speaking of which, is there perhaps a way to color fonts on this website? I'd like to color code my username in this tab so it's easier to get an overview of who's saying what and which comment begins where, methinks).
I'm liking psychology so far! The statistics courses are hell as expected, but overall I'm doing decently. However, my most recent batch of exams I failed 2 of due to personal circumstances, so I have to do resits for them as well as for one I forgot to register for at all with my dumb ass. We also currently have a course that has a TON of assignments each week, and my ADHD ass is having trouble keeping up with that. But, I am very passionate about the subject, so no issues there.
Lastly, here's my comments from my last message as promised:
So, you're saying this dumped person caused the anomaly somehow? It's definitely interesting, but it's a very specific and odd choice to go for pizza delivery fuckups. Would the perp being a gypsy lady or a crazy-enough-to-take-to-witchcraft ex-girlfriend be too cliche?
By the way, I remembered that when I first had the idea for this whole pizza thing, which was like a year ago, I also briefly mentioned it in the chat. Back then someone suggested a weird 'rupture' in reality or something, and I'd been thinking about that as well. What if you see 'causality', or 'fate', as a series of scripted events, like in a code. And somehow, the coding for the event 'pizza boy x delivers a pizza with y on it' generated an error in reality, causing it to mess up its output every time. Now, this is all very vague and far-fetched and complicated, so I left anything of the sort out entirely because I thought it'd be too ambitious for my first SCP. But hey, thought I'd mention it anyway in case you see a way to work with it.
Zyn: The "'causality', or 'fate', as a series of scripted events, like in a code" bit sounds a lot like the premise for the Matrix. Also, it seems a little odd that the error in reality just happens to mess with this guy's order in the worst possible way, rather than being truly random like a non-judgmental reality glitch should?
"Would the perp being a gypsy lady or a crazy-enough-to-take-to-witchcraft ex-girlfriend be too cliche?" > Maybe. I personally was thinking of the estranged loved one being the guy's mother, who was upset that he got a job delivering pizzas instead of trying to join a high-tech startup or something. Maybe his pizza orders only go really well when he delivers to parents of successful kids of various ages? Again, as the "I told you so"/"this is what you could have" part of the mom's curse? I feel like that might have more internal consistency story-wise, and also offers an explanation as to why the anomaly targets this guy and his pizza-bussing.
Scented_Shadow: Hmm, it's definitely not what I initially had in mind. You see, I initially thought of the anomaly just using this guy as a way to start out, all super specific, but then, with time, it becomes broader and broader. In the end it could be targeting anything he touches, and then some. But I was going for a 'show, don't tell' approach with that, merely suggesting that this was gonna be the case, and I don't think I've brought that across very well. And I also don't have a cause for it.
By the way, a few other short questions:
- Should I just copy/paste the draft as it is in my personal sandbox into the rough- or working draft tab here?
- On whose account will the final product be posted on the main site?
- Can we get slot 3900 (not important, just personal preference)?
- Can I pitch some other quick ideas I randomly had to you (be it here or somewhere else)?
Zyn: We do have a couple mainlisters about ordinary people spreading their ordinary-ness or extraordinary-ness as part of their passive anomaly (there's "Status Quo" in Series II, and I think an old lady that turns stuff into other stuff?) How do you want to proceed with this draft?
Some short answers:
- Post that into the rough draft area. Working draft is where we'll made edits.
- Yours. It was your draft to start with. (For all of the articles I've co-authored with a first-time writer, I've had them post it with their account.) Our chatbot and database site both have attribution features that allow multiple authors to be listed.
- If 3900 isn't taken by the time the draft is mainlist-ready, go ahead and take that slot.
- Certainly. You can make a thread in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum and link me to it, or send me a PM with the ideas.
Scented_Shadow: I read Status Quo, seems like the anomaly afflicting that guy is affecting him in a way that's almost the opposite of the anomaly afflicting my pizza guy! I guess that it is the 'type' of anomaly I was going for though, yeah. Except, the effects keep getting weirder and weirder. If we can think of a cause for this without changing the overall article very much, that'd be my preference. I'm just not sure how to make what I've written so far more appealing to readers.
Zyn: "I guess that it is the 'type' of anomaly I was going for though, yeah. Except, the effects keep getting weirder and weirder." > The weirdness, as I see it, won't be enough to carry the article. After all, we've already got the pizza box that generates weird pizzas; you want to make sure this doesn't come off as just a hodgepodge of existing articles. There should be a strong "why" behind the effect that readers can relate to.
How much are you willing to change?
Scented_Shadow: That's a tough one. I want the 'wrong pizza' thing to remain the focus of the anomaly, though the focus of the article can totally be on the 'why'. Does that make sense at all?
Edit: okay, something just came to me! I was thinking about your suggestions, and what I just thought of is very much based on that. So get this: the pizza boy's mother recently passed away, like, right before he was accepted for his current job. She was very much opposed to him getting said job because she thinks he should aim higher and try to gain skill necessary to care for himself. But he neglected that advice, and similarly neglects himself (cleaning, doing laundry, cooking for himself, bathing himself, etc.) in favor of just sitting behind the tv with a hot order of Chinese food, high like a kite. However, whenever he does finally get around to doing a chore, the anomaly 'calms down'. When everything around the house as well as he himself is taken care of, the anomaly fully disappears. The more he lets everything go shitty again, however, the more the anomaly starts acting up again.
Now I wouldn't want to state that the one thing and the other are related, but obviously I want to imply it without making it too 'in your face'. If you think this would work at all, that is. Then I just need to figure out how to write this in without making it (his mom or the relationship with the anomaly and the chores) the main focus of the article.
Zyn: I really like that! I'm pretty sure a lot of the audience can relate to their mom nagging (good-naturedly, one hopes) them about chores, and since the mom passed away, she's looking after her kid in basically the only way that would probably get his attention.
"Now I wouldn't want to state that the one thing and the other are related, but obviously I want to imply it without making it too 'in your face'." > Yeah, we can have some narrative development in the addenda while the primary anomaly in the description is the focus. It shouldn't be too blunt since the Foundation is just piecing this information together.
I think as it is, the majority of this wouldn't change too much. We'd just do some trimming so you don't have as much distracting fluff information, change up the addenda, and I think we're good to go. I'll start off by editing the containment, and we can discuss the framework of the description and addenda in the meantime.
Scented_Shadow: Glad you like it! What's the next step? I saw you already partially rewrote the containment procedures, so thanks! I think you got most of it as I intended, though it feels weird because it's not the way I'd have phrased the things. I probably just need to get over that and then it'll be fine though.
Zyn: I think the next step is starting to trim down the description. I've made a tab at the end for trimming. Can you go through the description and see if you can take out some of the details you feel aren't super necessary to the article?
After that, I'll edit the description for clinical tone, and then we'll move onto the addenda. I feel like we can whittle down the interview a bit so it's not as draggy, and then we'll polish up the experiment logs. I'm thinking that we can end with a juxtaposition: the second-to-last log has the guy finally showing up in clean clothes and having gotten a haircut, and the pizza is given to a D-Class and tastes amazing. The last log is the guy regressing to lazy habits and the pizza being near-nuclear and requiring an entire cleanup crew to deal with.
In regards to the "it feels weird because it's not the way I'd have phrased the things" > can you give some examples?
Scented_Shadow: Ooh, ooh, I had an idea for that part. Perhaps, just as part of his investigation, at some point Foundation employees search through his apartment. They decide that he's living in circumstances hazardous to his health, and force him to clean up. That way, there is a 'realistic' reason why the guy would suddenly change his ways and start cleaning, at least for that one day. Furthermore, to provide the reader with the information regarding his mom, we can put that in the interview in place of current filler speech.
Also, yep, I'll try and prune the description a little bit right now. What I meant, for example, with the phrasing is just that terminology like 'additional cautionary action' and 'designated anomaly-byproduct receptacles' I would not have come up with to describe those situations when left to myself. That's not to say that I disagree with the terminology, it's just that it's not text I would write. It's fine though, really, it's no big deal.
EDIT: description trimmed as far as I can get myself to do so.
Zyn: I like that idea a lot. We can put that in the addenda, and have that be a lead-in to the interview.
I'll go through the description for clinical tone, and in the meantime, you can decide how you want the addenda to be structured? Currently, I think we've got a couple things to include: the experimental logs, the event (incident?) where the Foundation makes the guy clean up, the interview, and maybe the guy's regressing back to his old bad habits. Does that order work? How much of the current material do you want to keep for the addenda? And as you mentioned, we'll need to polish up the interview material.
Note: I finished cleaning up the description; there are some notes in allcaps that need to be addressed. I feel like we should have a quick couple sentences about SCP-XXXX-1, and also I'm not sure how many months XXXX-2 would have been working at the pizza place. Also, swapped out the description tab for the interview so you can take a look at what you want to keep and change.
ETA: Also, I think we could have an image? Something like, "An instance of SCP-XXXX-1. The corresponding order placed was for a pizza topped with only pepperoni." and have the picture be something crazy and definitely not pepperoni (still tasty-looking to a degree though; we don't want the reader to feel like throwing up)? That way it'll hook the reader in from the start. Wikimedia commons has plenty of CC-compliant pictures; do you want to take a look and pick one? https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Pizzas
If you find one you want to use, just link me the image in this section and I'll set up the standard image block?
Scented_Shadow: okay so, first of all, I like what you've done with the description. But there are a few things that I want to note. Firstly, you wrote "noted to differ substantially from orders placed by customers", but the pizzas do not just differ, they are as wrong as possible. They have 0 overlap with the order. I don't know how to say that simply and properly though, in clinical tone and whatnot. I also feel that in place of "posing severe safety risks due to biohazard qualities", which is better as a surprise in the experiment logs I feel, I think we should put "containing toppings that were requested to be left out", as a continuation on the earlier part of the sentence. Furthermore, I think we should say that he doesn't interfere with his delivery, not just that he says that he doesn't. As for the things in all caps, I think 3 months is fine. I have to have dinner, so I'll try and think of some examples to put in the description during that…activity. I would love to put an image, and I've been meaning to ask you about that too. But I'll get back to you and edit this comment once I'm done eating dinner to address this (as well as how to structure the addenda) further! :)
EDIT: Actually, wow, I'm suddenly super tired, can barely keep my eyes open. I'm going to bed, and I'll do it as soon as I have free time tomorrow. Sorry!
Zyn: No worries. I've tweaked the description a bit. Not too sure about the "containing toppings that were requested to be left out" bit, since I don't know how many people regularly place orders telling the chef what not to put?
Feel free to take a look at this whenever you have the time.
Scented_Shadow: Bad news! 3900 got taken, and it's doing really well! Time to look for a new spot. In other news, I changed a thing in the description, see if you like it that way. As for the picture; I'd love to have a picture of a delivery man with an opened pizza box, his face obviously blackboxed out. Just to see 'SCP-XXXX-2 in action', if such a photo is even possible to get our hands on.
Edit: I just ordered pizza with an unusual combination of toppings. Looks like we're not going to have to worry about getting a good picture! I'll just use my delivered beauty to serve as a pizza model.
SO. Where do we go from here? What still needs to be done?
Zyn: Image is placed… so, interview and addenda need to be tweaked/written. I need to sign off, but I'll have more time tomorrow to look at this.
Scented_Shadow: I tweaked the SHIT out of the interview. Check it out. It's way shorter already, for one.
Edit: I'm gonna change the researcher's first name to a more unisex 'Alex' for reasons.
Zyn: I've made some edits to the interview for flow/narrative/dialogue characterization. Is there anything you believe still needs changing?
If we're good on the interview, we can write up the final addendum. I think it might be good to have a table, with sections for "observed behavior from SCP-XXXX-2", "pizza order", and "SCP-XXXX-1 description". So we could have a row with "SCP-XXXX-2 appears very tired, cited staying up late to watch television." followed by a pizza, and then the SCP-XXXX-1 "terribly wrong" version. And then the table continues, with some gradual increase in behavior with help from the Foundation (maybe someone gives the guy a laundry card or something, saying they "found" it in some of his mom's old belongings?). And the last entry is the guy just lapsing back into old bad habits, and the pizza being covered in ants infected with radioactive cordyceps fungi or something.
Scented_Shadow: The only thing I feel sounds awkward in my head is the line 'You're using past tense. About your mom?' and I'd rather change that question mark to a period. That's of course unprofessional interviewing behavior by dr. Ganz, not asking a question, but otherwise it sounds weird. Another option is changing both periods to question marks, if you'd rather do that.
For the experiments, what do you say we make a short bullet list of every entry and its features first, and then start actually writing them when we're happy with the order and basic contents of them? I like the idea of an order you've got going already, but just for visual overview. Edit: I'll start off in the brainstorming tab, let me know what you think.
Why does the guy have such bad pizza luck?
- his (now deceased) mother really wants him to get his life together and get a better job
- when he starts to stop taking care of himself, the anomaly triggers
- when he does chores, the pizzas are fine
General list of experiment addendum entries in order (by the way; I think we should number the entries with gaps between numbers, like the first one is 000, the second is 001, but the third one is experiment 006, just to show time having passed until that change or something? Is that an idea?):
- first recorded pizza, which caused the Foundation to know about 'XXXX
- pizza which is just wrong compared to the order
- pizza with weird smelling olives which turn out to be way overdue or gone bad or something (we can refer to this addendum section under the picture too?)
- pizza with a shredded rubber glove embedded in the sauce (the delivery guy is starting to look really bad here)
- pizza spawned from '-2 holding SCP-458, resulting in my description from my original draft
- pizza with liquid rat poison (maybe the guy is actually physically ill here, prompting the investigation of his living conditions)
- pizza which is correct (so this is right after the Foundation ordered him to clean himself, shave, wash up, pay bills, etc., maybe we should add a section with a note between this and the previous entry about this whole thing)
- pizza overflowing with tomato sauce, but otherwise with correct ingredients (he's getting dirty again)
- pizza with some really disturbing shit like you described (he's severely neglecting his health, bills and hoarding problem again)
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX should be monitored closely, and allowed to occur exclusively under very controlled conditions.
Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are acquired only for analysis and are subsequently destroyed. Any and all instances of SCP-XXXX-1 should be delivered to a facility owned by the Foundation. Only personnel with security clearance Level 2 or higher are allowed to handle cases of SCP-XXXX-1, and, while doing so, wearing a Level A hazmat suit is required.
It is important in ensuring that SCP-XXXX's range of effect remains stable and under the Foundation's control, that new instances of SCP-XXXX-1 continue to be acquired and analyzed. Any employee involved with SCP-XXXX is to make note of suspicious changes to the anomaly's formula. The Project Head7 is to be contacted in such cases8.
SCP-XXXX-2 must not be contained and should resume employment with █████████ Pizza as would normally be the case9. However, if at any time a Foundation researcher judges an instance of SCP-XXXX-1 to warrant a higher threat level, the decision can be made to incarcerate or, if judged to be necessary, terminate SCP-XXXX-2. Methods of containment are to be determined at that time, depending on SCP-XXXX-1's exact manifestations.
The procedure for ordering and receiving a delivery of SCP-XXXX-1 is as follows:
- A phone call is made to "█████████ Pizza" for a pizza delivery, specifying that the person doing the delivery must be SCP-XXXX-2. The toppings are to be decided by the researcher who will perform the analyses on SCP-XXXX-1. The phone number for █████████ Pizza can be requested from the Project Head by authorized Foundation researchers.
- SCP-XXXX-1 is to be delivered to a biological containment facility. It will arrive in a cardboard box, delivered by SCP-XXXX-2.
- The identity of SCP-XXXX-2 is made known to the security guards of this facility, who are to let him enter the facility grounds. The guards are instructed not to touch the cardboard box containing SCP-XXXX-1 under any circumstance.
- SCP-XXXX-2 will then deliver SCP-XXXX-1 to a staff member inside who will be ready and waiting for him at the gate, but after having handed it over and receiving adequate payment10, must vacate the facility grounds as soon as possible.
- SCP-XXXX-1 should be transferred to a chemical experimentation room, still in the cardboard box it was delivered in. From here on, SCP-XXXX-1 will be handled by facility researchers only.
- After performing all analyses and fully documenting the whole instance, SCP-XXXX-1 is to be destroyed or otherwise disposed of, depending on its contents. The procedures involved are entirely dependent on both the researcher's intentions as well as the particular manifestation of SCP-XXXX-1.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an event of variable nature that, as it currently manifests, causes any pizza delivered specifically by SCP-XXXX-2 to contain toppings that have 0% overlap with those mentioned in the customer's order. In this case, these pizzas affected by SCP-XXXX are referred to as instances of SCP-XXXX-1.
SCP-XXXX-2 is a non-anomalous human male by the name of ██████ ████████. He is, at the time of this writing (██-██-████) 22 years of age, 1.81 meters tall, and weighs 68.5 kilos. A full, uncensored mug shot is available to Foundation employees involved with SCP-XXXX upon request (contact the Project Head for such details). SCP-XXXX-2 delivers pizzas for █████████ Pizza, where he has worked since last September. Every pizza he attempts to deliver, without exception, becomes a case of SCP-XXXX-1.
Camera monitoring by SCP-XXXX-2's employers (recorded prior to the Foundation's notification of SCP-XXXX's existence, but since made available to Foundation researchers) reveals that he receives the correctly prepared pizzas from the cooks, delivers to the correct addresses and does not swap boxes or toppings around at any point.
Furthermore, SCP-XXXX occurs with no other █████████ Pizza employee besides SCP-XXXX-2, who has indicated that no anomalous events like SCP-XXXX have ever affected him at any other point in his life11. This means that SCP-XXXX is currently exclusive to the specific situation of "█████████ Pizza" orders being delivered by SCP-XXXX-2. It is unknown at which point in time during the delivery process SCP-XXXX actually occurs.
Presently, the consensus regarding SCP-XXXX is up for debate. Recent analyses on SCP-XXXX-1 instances have shown a certain degree of instability in its manifestations, suggesting that there is reason to be wary of similar changes concerning the anomaly and its range of occurrence.12
Addendum:
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-2.
Interviewer: Dr. Ganz.
Foreword: Interview conducted on the day SCP-XXXX-2 was first met (██-██-████).
<Begin Log, 15:40:38>
Dr. Ganz: Alright, I know we introduced ourselves to one another right before this, but I need you to state your name for documentation purposes please.
SCP-XXXX-2: Oh, uh…right, ██████.
Dr. Ganz: Last name too, please.
SCP-XXXX-2: Oh, shit, I didn't know I had to man, sorry. It's ████████.
Dr. Ganz: Thank you. So, you know what this interview is about, right?
SCP-XXXX-2: Man, me and those fucking pizzas, man. It's frustrating for me too, honestly. Though I don't really get why this all is necessary, no. Like, what are you, like a cop? This feels like I'm really, like, being detained or something.
Dr. Ganz: You are, for now, but we really just need you to answer questions. You're not currently being accused of anything.
SCP-XXXX-2: Alright, 'cause I swear dude, I'm NOT messing with the pizzas. I SWEAR. It's like I'm being, like, sabotaged or something. I don't think I've gotten a single one right.
Dr. Ganz: Not one? Since the first day you worked there?
SCP-XXXX-2: Not a single fucking one. And this JUST happens to me, 'cause like, I asked my colleague ███, and he's had, like, NO problems like this. No one else that I asked did. Is someone out to frame me for something? Again, I don't really know what this, like, place is, but you gotta find a way to fix this, man. It's frustrating as hell.
Dr. Ganz: Right, so you have no idea what causes this, correct?
SCP-XXXX-2: I swear, my man, I don't.
Dr. Ganz: It's just pizza toppings changing themselves?
SCP-XXXX-2: I know it sounds crazy, man. But I don't know what else it could be.
Dr. Ganz: So-
SCP-XXXX-2: And it's not, like, JUST changing. It's, like, purposely changing into whatever is the fucking worst for me. Like, the more it's the opposite of what the people order, the better, or something.
Dr. Ganz: I see. So, has anything similar happened to you before?
SCP-XXXX-2: What do you mean?
Dr. Ganz: Outside of your pizza delivery job. Did you ever experience weird events like this? Things changing on their own? Anything?
SCP-XXXX-2: Uh…no…no, I don't think so. I mean, some things are like, weird, but then at least you can like make up SOME kind of fucking explanation, right? But this pizza thing is straight up impossible, like, I keep the box shut literally the entire time. This is, like, TOO weird.
Dr. Ganz: And say that I were to ask you to bring over a pizza box from the other room right now. Would it happen too?
SCP-XXXX-2: No, man.
Dr. Ganz: Why not? How are you so sure?
SCP-XXXX-2: This thing, like, ONLY happens when I deliver. If I, like, pass my friend a box of chocolates, the chocolates don't change, know what I mean? Because he didn't order them. Though I don't know if it would happen with chocolates at all. I've only ever done pizza delivery.
Dr. Ganz: So it's pizza delivery in particular that seems to be the problem here. Is there anything odd about this job in particular then? Anything that stands out to you in your memory that could be of relevance?SCP-XXXX-2: Nothing, man. This is the most, like, basic job ever. In fact, it being so fucking low-tier is why my mom hated it.
Dr. Ganz: You're using past tense. About your mom.
SCP-XXXX-2: Yeah, she passed away right before I started on my first day at this job.
Dr. Ganz: I'm sorry to hear that. She hated this job, you said?
SCP-XXXX-2: Well, it's like…she thought I could do better, know what I mean? That I'm 'underperforming' by getting a job like this. That I, like, should aim higher or something. Thing is, I'm an adult, you know? I can make the choices about my own life.
Dr. Ganz: Did your mom mean a lot to you?
SCP-XXXX-2: She did…and like, I'm really sad that she's gone, it's just…she was just so on my back all the time, you know? '██████, clean this. ██████, wash that. ██████, run this errand.'
Dr. Ganz: You lived with your mom then, seeing as she had to tell you when to clean up?
SCP-XXXX-2: I did. Judge all you want, but like, I've just always been short on cash. That's why I have to even have this shitty job in the first place. And I can't even get that right.
Dr. Ganz: Alright, that will be all then. Thank you.
SCP-XXXX-2: No, wait, I have, like, a ton of things to ask about this, man. Is it really true that you're paying my boss to not fire me?
Dr. Ganz: We can discuss further questions off record.
<End Log, 15:45:21>
Closing Statement: SCP-XXXX-2 seems to have no control over the occurrence of SCP-XXXX. He is confused about the situation, but does not take further actions. He appeared disheveled, unwashed and confused at the day of the interview. It might be worth considering sending a team over to his place to assess his living conditions.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-000
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese.
Delivered: Ham pizza with mushrooms.
Notes: This incident notified the Foundation of SCP-XXXX. The order was made at Site-76 Research Assistant Dr. O'Nelly's home, who was then subjected to SCP-XXXX-2's complaints of the recurring problem, noting the anomalous nature of his story. He requested SCP-XXXX-2 be brought in for questioning by the Foundation after calling █████████ Pizza to confirm SCP-XXXX-2's claims.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-001
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese.
Delivered: Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese.
Notes: There seem to be no anomalous effects at play. NOTE (██-██-████): the assistant researcher who took the delivery from SCP-XXXX-2 did not pay him. The 'job' context is one of SCP-XXXXs necessary conditions; the lack of payment prevented that condition from being met, whereupon SCP-XXXX-1 failed to manifest. SCP-XXXX-2 is to be paid for his delivery from now on.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-002
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Sausage pizza with olives, mushrooms and cheddar.
Delivered: Ham pizza with garlic, asparagus, basil and mozzarella.
Notes: SCP-XXXX-1 instances do not necessarily contain the same number of toppings as requested in the order.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-003
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Pizza with nothing on it.
Delivered: Sweet corn and chili pepper pizza.
Notes: SCP-XXXX-1 instances do not necessarily manifest as the opposite of the order, as that should have yielded every available topping in this case.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-004
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Pizza with nothing on it, aside from the standard tomato sauce bottom layer.
Delivered: Pizza crust with eggs and meatballs laying on it.
Notes: While the tomato sauce was present by default, even in experiment -003, it seems that explicitly asking for it caused it to be absent here.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-005
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Sausage pizza with olives, mushrooms and cheddar.
Delivered: Bacon pizza with anchovy and cherry tomatoes.
Notes: SCP-XXXX-1 instances have no predictable pattern; the order was identical to the one in experiment -002, yet yielded completely different results.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-006
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Bacon pizza with anchovy and cherry tomatoes.
Delivered: Beef and tuna pizza with cheddar.
Notes: Ordering a previously delivered instance of SCP-XXXX-1 (in this case, that of experiment -005) does not yield the order that preceded it, however, there is no longer zero overlap; the order of experiment -005 and the delivery of experiment -006 both contain cheddar.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-007
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Beef and tuna pizza with cheddar.
Delivered: Pepperoni pizza with spinach and mushrooms.
Notes: The assistant researcher who took the delivery from SCP-XXXX-2 forgot to pay him, but SCP-XXXX-1 still manifested. Something might have been overlooked during experiment -001.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-008
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Salami pizza with cheese, no mushrooms.
Delivered: Spinach pizza with olives and mushrooms.
Notes: If the order requests something be absent, SCP-XXXX-1 will contain it; the manifestation of SCP-XXXX-1 does not disregard the order, but in fact acknowledges and goes against it.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-009
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Pepperoni pizza with olives and blue cheese.
Delivered: Ham pizza with bell peppers and liquid diphenadione13.
Notes: This is the first time SCP-XXXX-1 manifested a topping that is not meant to be used as such. The cooks at █████████ Pizza report that they do own 'a container of KillRat', a brand of rat poison.
NOTE: although previously thought to be harmless in spite of its anomalous nature, SCP-XXXX has started manifesting variances of SCP-XXXX-1 that do have potential for harm with its recent rat poison dressing. SCP-XXXXs object class and description as well as the handling procedures for SCP-XXXX-1 have already been updated. Extreme care and continuous testing of new SCP-XXXX-1 instances is required to closely monitor the stability of the anomaly. If the conditions for its manifestation can change, as they have now done regarding payment and possible toppings, so can any other aspect of the formula. Keep a close eye on the limits to SCP-XXXXs stability; next thing we know, its effects spread to a coffee machine which will proceed to produce soda only, then oil, and then toxic waste. Point is, be careful from now on. We cannot know what else SCP-XXXX will start affecting. -Dr. A. Ganz.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-010
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: Sausage pizza with pineapples and eggplant, no $100 bills.
Delivered: Pepperoni pizza with hot sauce and seven $100 bills, all burnt, crumpled or ripped to the point of being useless.
Notes: SCP-XXXX-1 instances can contain non-food toppings, which manifest as if prepared like regular, edible ingredients.
Experiment Log XXXX-B-011
Date: (██-██-████)
Ordered: No pizza was to be prepared. Instead, SCP-XXXX-2 was to deliver whatever was in a particular pizza box provided by the Foundation.
Delivered: A pizza with tangled hair and nail clippings.
Notes: SCP-XXXX-2 was instructed to open the box before handing it to the researcher at the gate. He was repulsed to see its contents, got very sick, and exclaimed that he hates seeing 'shit like that' in his food, 'more than anything else in the world'. It seems that SCP-XXXX-1 instances are not manifested to go against the order in particular, but rather, to go against what the item 'should have been', given the circumstances.
Experiment log format for future testing:
Experiment Log XXXX-B-###
Date: (##-##-####)
Ordered: (…)
Delivered: (…)
Notes: (…)
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-2.
Interviewer: Dr. Ganz.
Foreword: Interview conducted on ██-██-████, date of Foundation personnel's first in-person contact with SCP-XXXX-2.<Begin Log, 15:40:38>
Dr. Ganz: Alright, I know we introduced ourselves to one another right before this, but I need you to state your name for the record, please.
SCP-XXXX-2: Oh, uh…right, ██████.
Dr. Ganz: Last name too, please.
SCP-XXXX-2: Oh, shit, I didn't know I had to man, sorry. It's ████████.
Dr. Ganz: Thank you. So, you know what this interview is about, right?
SCP-XXXX-2: Man, me and those fucking pizzas, man. It's frustrating for me too, honestly. Though I don't really get why this all is necessary, no. Like, what are you, like a cop? This feels like I'm really, like, being detained or something.
Dr. Ganz: Right now we really just need you to answer some questions. You're not currently being accused of anything.
SCP-XXXX-2: Alright, 'cause I swear dude, I'm not messing with the pizzas. I swear. It's like I'm being, like, sabotaged or something. I don't think I've gotten a single one right.
Dr. Ganz: Not one? Since the first day you worked there?
SCP-XXXX-2: Not a single fucking one. And this just happens to me, 'cause like, I asked my colleague ███, and he's had, like, no problems like this. No one else that I asked did. Is someone out to frame me for something? Again, I don't really know what this, like, place is, but you gotta find a way to fix this, man. It's frustrating as hell.
Dr. Ganz: Right, so you have no idea what causes this, correct?
SCP-XXXX-2: I swear, my man, I don't.
Dr. Ganz: It's just pizza toppings changing themselves?
SCP-XXXX-2: I know it sounds crazy, man. But I don't know what else it could be.
Dr. Ganz: So-
SCP-XXXX-2: And it's not, like, JUST changing. It's, like, purposely changing into whatever is the fucking worst for me. Like, the more it's the opposite of what the people order, the better, or something.
Dr. Ganz: I see. So, has anything similar happened to you before?
SCP-XXXX-2: What do you mean?
Dr. Ganz: Outside of your pizza delivery job. Did you ever experience weird events like this? Things changing on their own? Anything?
SCP-XXXX-2: Uh…no…no, I don't think so. I mean, some things are like, weird, but then at least you can like make up some kind of fucking explanation, right? But this pizza thing is straight up impossible, like, I keep the box shut literally the entire time. This is, like, too weird.
Dr. Ganz: And say that I were to ask you to bring over a pizza box from the other room right now. Would it happen too?
SCP-XXXX-2: No, man.
Dr. Ganz: Why not? How are you so sure?
SCP-XXXX-2: This thing, like, only happens when I deliver on the job. If I, like, pass my friend a box of chocolates, the chocolates don't change, know what I mean? Because he didn't order them. Though I don't know if it would happen with chocolates at all. I've only ever done pizza delivery.
Dr. Ganz: So it's pizza delivery specifically that seems to be the problem here. Is there anything odd about this job in particular then? Anything that stands out to you in your memory that could be of relevance?
SCP-XXXX-2: Nothing, man. This is the most, like, basic job ever. In fact, it being so fucking low-tier is why my mom hated it.
Dr. Ganz: You're using past tense. About your mom.
SCP-XXXX-2: Yeah, she passed away right before I started on my first day at this job.
Dr. Ganz: I'm sorry to hear that. She hated this job, you said?
SCP-XXXX-2: Well, it's like…she thought I could do better, know what I mean? That I'm 'underperforming' by getting a job like this. That I, like, should aim higher or something. Thing is, I'm an adult, you know? I can make the choices about my own life.
Dr. Ganz: Did your mom mean a lot to you?
SCP-XXXX-2: She did…and like, I'm really sad that she's gone, it's just…she was just so on my back all the time, you know? '██████, clean this. ██████, fix that. ██████, go run some more errands.'
Dr. Ganz: You lived with your mom then, seeing as she told you when to clean up?
SCP-XXXX-2: I did. Judge all you want, but like, I've just always been short on cash. That's why I have to even have this shitty job in the first place. And I can't even get that right.
Dr. Ganz: Alright, that will be all then. Thank you.
SCP-XXXX-2: No, wait, I have, like, a ton of things to ask about this, man. Is it really true that you're paying my boss to not fire me?
Dr. Ganz: We can discuss further questions off-record.
<End Log, 15:43:21>
Closing Statement from Dr. Ganz: SCP-XXXX-2 seems to have no control over the occurrence of SCP-XXXX. He is confused about the situation, but does not take further actions. He appeared disheveled, unwashed and confused on the day of the interview. It might be worth considering sending a team over to his place to assess his living conditions, especially with the relatively recent passing of his mother in mind. More intensive psychological evaluation might be required.
