Item #: Scp-0001
Object Class: Euclid/Keter/Safe
Special Containment Procedures:"Because of the nature of Scp-0001, no containment procedures are to be thought of to contain Scp-0001. 0-hour monitoring is needed as the foundation does not want to disturb Scp-0001's lifestyle. When in contact with Scp-0001, no attempts to try to hurt, joke, or disobey Scp-0001 in anyway as it may result in the destruction of a person, city, cities, or THE WORLD!"
Description:"Scp-0001 is a mid-teenaged boy approximately *ft. & *in. in height. His name, location, parent's name's, friend's name's, etc. Will not be disclosed to any personnel other than the Founder himself. Including pictures, websites, & others. If any information get's leaked out to personnel, even If they are Level Omni Clearance, they will be terminated."
"Scp-0001's abilities are very unique in such a way that some of his techniques defy the laws of gravity, some even Newton's Laws. It's believed that Scp-0001 can do almost about anything. Even change into any Scp possible, even one's that have been terminated by the foundation.
When threatened or when a loved one is threatened, It Is said that he will try or succeed to [REDECATED] that person. If said person want's to stay out of harm's way, It may happen If they follow the following criteria."
#1:"If you treat him with respect."
#2:"If you follow his every rule."
#3:"If he finds you amusing."
#4:"HE WON'T KILL YOU!"
"Under NO circumstances is Scp-0001 & Scp-001 to meet each-other as it may result in a Z-class end-of-the-world-scenario."
Audio Log 0001:" First time Founder ever records audio log of Scp-0001."
Founder:"So you promise to tell the truth, and the truth only?"
Scp-0001:"Of course, as long as you don't write about this in your diary, I'm cool."
Founder:"I cross my heart."
Scp-0001:"Oh please, we aren't a bunch of 1st graders trying to keep a fucking secret from another 1st grader, are we?"
Scp-0001:"That's what I thought, but you decided to think of the idea anyway."
Founder:"Anyway, let's move onto business. So, you have more information on Scp-001, Is that correct?"
Scp-0001:"Yes, I have deciphered that Scp-001 Is actually *** and that he Is guarding well, you know."
Founder:"Alright, good. That's all I needed to know."
"During that time, Scp-0001 had no idea he was recorded, nor did he think of any thought about it."
Audio Log 0002:"Subject D-4166 enters a small containment chamber with Scp-0001. Subject is to be considered rude and violent."
D-4166:"Hello, Is anyone here………….fucking answer me.
Scp-0001:"Shut-up, I can hear you from Mexico. You sound like a yap baby."
"Subject D-4166 Is seen to be punching Scp-0001 repeatedly in the face. Soon after Scp-0001 Is to be presumed dead, log video and audio feed cuts and no remains of D-4166 was found in the chamber. There is no item nor being that can harm or kill Scp-0001."