SCP-2208
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-2208

Object Class: Safe Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2208 must be kept at all times in a room of 5mx5mx5m of volume within Storage Site-147. It will not be removed from it's placing in the centre of a 50cmx50cm wooden table at any time unless instructed by Dr. Cook. No foundation personnel are to enter the 1m "lure" zone at any time (unless approved by O5 Command, see Addendum SCP-2208) and must wear eye protection in the form of dark sunglasses. Do Not insult SCP-2208. Affected D-Class personnel are to be designated as instances of SCP-2208-2 and must be terminated or tested on, 5 instances of living SCP-2208-2 must be kept for testing at all times and replaced at the end of the month, if killed in less than a month by "karma" level early replacement necessary. It claims it is an "eternal aid" for Humanity which should be taken account for by new researchers working with the item.

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SCP-2208 in containment

Description: SCP-2208 is a sentient beer pint, It can talk at any time by unknown means at a maximum of 70 decibels and seems to have no strong emotion, negative nor positive but is very passive - aggressive in nature. When only a human (see Test-2) enters within 1m of SCP-2208 they will instantly go into a state of aggression going towards SCP-2208 and drinking the entire pint, after this they will enter four stages which results in bodily condition and appearance reverting back as if they are at the age of 18 but memories, attitude and knowledge shall not be affected negatively if made better. Biological damage/diseases and foreign objects harming the body shall be removed and affects of drugs and unhygienic lifestyles shall be reversed completely. (Effects of Prions and Fungus can not be healed but only delayed for a usually small amount of time example: 1 day-1 week) SCP-2208 will decide how long the person shall live depending on their "karma" which is strictly determined by SCP-2208 on their life choices which they have made, giving them up to 50 years to live down to instantaneous death. Every effect by SCP-2208 will only work on those 18 or older, tests show that the liquid evaporates when first contact is made with liquid contents on minors. SCP-2208 bears a British accent from early 20th century and colouration of wheat beer in it's liquid. How it acquires liquid is unknown and refuses to speak about the matter, when insulted it gains a negative view towards the person and if that person drinks from SCP-2208 instant death will take place. It is a memetic and biological hazard such as it's lure and ability to kill SCP-2208-2 instances at any time. Two uses of SCP-2208 causes Brain death and is obviously not recommended.

The Four Stage Process:

Stage 1: Lasts approximately 2 minutes. Liquid enters body and coats all organs, bones, muscles and the brain and seems to start seeping in them in an unknown manner. Early signs of nausea are stated by subject.

Stage 2: Lasts approximately 8 minutes. Effects of common cold disappear from subject and effects of long-term smoking or drug use at this point will appear gone from the skin and facial features such as eyes and the teeth, lungs clear up and expand/lose bad signs of rot. Decent amount of vomiting at this point due to effects on stomach.

Stage 3: Lasts approximately 10 minutes. Bones will start to seem more fresh and intact as well as possible height gain. Muscles show much healthier and stronger condition and may expand. Mental structure in the brain is more healthier and efficient, usually making the subject more intelligent.

Stage 4: Liquid evaporates and SCP-2208 starts "recovery" of lost liquid. Depending on the persons "karma" they may live for another 50 years, or die instantly by major burning by unknown means.

This is indeed fascinating and shows the power of not just the liquid itself but what SCP-2208 holds. I will just state that this may not always be the case and it could happen almost double the speed if subject is in their twenties at best with good physical and biological condition. - Dr. Cook.

Addendum SCP-2208: Foundation personnel will only be authorized by O5 Command to use SCP-2208 if personnel are over the exact age of 18 with life threatening Bacteria, Virus or parasites/injury with no human way of medical help they shall be taken to the containment cell of SCP-2208 if they so choose to do so, while wearing dark sunglasses they will drink the liquid contents of SCP-2208 which will exterminate the specified disease and stop bleeding on a major scale. These people in some ways will be treated as instances of SCP-2208-2 and will stay and live in foundation protection until death. It is their choice. Die or stay away from public areas for the rest of their specified life depending on their karma.

Test Log 2208-1-7:

Test 1 - Subject: D-2208-1
Subject status: Male. Major history of smoking and heavy drinking. Major signs of Lung and Bladder cancer. Showers daily and has eaten a healthy, strict diet for a long time. 47 years of age.
Subject karma prediction: Murdered 5 innocent personnel at point blanc range with Gun. predicted Very Low.
Results: First three stages seemed to heal cancerous infections, revert appearance and main bodily health to that of an average, very healthy 18 year old. Stage 4=Instant Death as SCP-2208 stated "killing one person for a foolish reason is not ok at all, but five for no reason is… is disgusting, be it that he rots for eternity." SUCCESS

Test 2 - Subject: 1 Very healthy and well looked after pig to the old age of 18.
Subject status: No major diseases infesting the body, minor internal damage and wear due to relatively old age.
Results: Liquid evaporates as soon as contact is made with mouth. SCP-2208 stated "What? is this foundation even more foolish than I first noticed?! (Laughter)" FAILURE

Test 3 - Subject: 1 empty regular
Subject status: No marks or dents, not dirty in any way.
Results: Liquid evaporates on contact with glass. SCP-2208 stated "Please Doctor, don't waste my precious aid to Humanity…" FAILURE

Test 4 - Subject/Subject status: N/A
Object: Flame torch - Foundation made.
Results: SCP-2208 makes no sound as it's liquid contents and glass are evaporated/melted. When turned off, SCP-2208 returned to it's original position by [REDACTED] It immediately said once back intact "This isn't funny nor laughable anymore, that was foolish and a highly unpleasant move. Stop these tests, you will never destroy the eternal aid!" FAILURE

Test 5 - Subject: D-2208-2
Subject status: Male. Very healthy with great standards of hygiene, diet and friendly personality. Taken by Foundation due to locating us by unknown means. Regular charity work and no criminal activity and record. Predicted karma = High. 28 years of age.
Result: Normal stages take place turning subject into normal instance of SCP-XXXX-2 being given 47 years to live by SCP-2208. Subject used for study and lives in cell with decent living conditions. SCP-2208 yet again stated his opinion on the event "I have aided this great Human, I hope his life is well and that the cruel SCP foundation let him free with great conditions." SUCCESS

Test 6 - Subject: D-2208-3
Subject status: Healthy lifestyle overall, male with decent muscle mass. Crime committed was [DATA EXPUNGED]. 17 years of age.
Results: Instantaneous evaporation of liquid contents when contact made with biological matter. SCP-XXXX made no comment on the matter. SUCCESS due to giving more knowledge on it's anomalous effects.

Test 7 - Subject: D-2208-4
Subject status: Infected with SCP-008, complex prion, male, karma believed to be quite low due to deadly crime made.
Results: SCP-008 effects delayed for 1 day only, subject terminated. SCP-2208 seemed displeased about the event.

To elaborate, when emptied into/on a object that isn't an adult Human being, the liquid seems to evaporate at contact and begins it's recovery of liquid process, when smashed the pieces combine. It is indestructible so all termination requests are to be denied instantaneously, even melting this damn thing won't work so all in all we can't do it, so don't do it. Test with fungus is not included due to very similar results that took place with prion, same goes with test on Cow to Pig. - Dr.Cook.

Interview Log SCP-2208-A
SCP-2208: Interviewed

Dr. Cook: Interviewer

Foreword: Interview was made on ██/██/2015, 8 days after discovery and 1 day after discovery of speech and sentience.

<Begin Log,>

Dr. Cook: So, How are you feeling today?
SCP-2208: Relatively unhappy (sighs) knowing that I'm stuck here and my aid is shockingly contained, I request immediate release, but I determine my request denied…
Dr. Cook: Yes, it is. Today we are going to ask some questions about you, to you. My first question is why did you not speak for the first 7 days of containment here?
SCP-2208: Well, initially I hoped the foundation as you call it would not notice my sentience or major anomalous properties but it is too late now, why exactly is it that the foundation keeps me here?
Dr. Cook: We're asking the questions here. So your second question is your opinion on the foundation?
SCP-2208: Well it seems to be a Time bomb, prison, freak show (momentary pause) you get the idea, this place will not be safe forever and that one event will happen where a containment breach takes place and the warheads you have will not save, but just cause more destruction.
Dr. Cook: (Writes down information) It is to my prediction that you learnt some of this information by overhearing us?
SCP-2208: Why certainly Doctor.
Dr. Cook: Ok then, your next question is where you originate and who created you?
SCP-2208:
Dr. Cook: Well fine then be that way, you'll only prolong your stay here, next question, what is your liquid made from and how does it regenerate?
SCP-2208: Please Doctor, I can't give too much information about myself and the eternal aid, I have my privacy limits.
Dr. Cook: Well, why do you call yourself the eternal "aid" in general but not a cure exactly, this surely isn't too personal I hope towards you?
SCP-2208: No, certainly not Doctor. I prolong Human life, preserve it, maintain it the best I can but death cannot be cured by me, this is the main thing Doctor.
Dr.Cook: Amazing, I will take good account of this information, but there are more questions to be-
SCP-2208: No, leave immediately. I have no interest in telling you any more information and don't bother attempting to ask for the time being, or ever for that matter.
<End Log,>

Closing Statement: SCP-2208 stopped talking for the remainder of the day, we are very unsatisfied with how we can get information from this Beer glass and what this substance is exactly but experiments continue and all information gathered here is collected and noted down. Requests of introducing other sentient SCP's to SCP-2208 are denied until further notice. Thank you. - Dr. Cook

NOTE SCP-2208 has recently been discovered to be Sentient, for what it is it is highly anomalous, intelligent and is very unknown, Euclid containment procedures and classification deemed necessary. Keter classification deemed unnecessary and will currently be denied. - O5-█