SCP-Fly-J & SCP-Lunchbox-J

Item #: SCP-Fly-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:
JUST SLAP THAT F*CKING FLY!!! Don't kill him though. That's punishable by death.
I'm sorry, I'm just mad.
SCP-Fly-J doesn't even have a cell. Everything is it's cell. EVERYTHING!!!

Description: Ahem. I'm sorry for my outburst.
SCP-Fly-J is a fly. Yep. That's it. A god d*mn f*cking fly.
"BUT KODE! WHY IS IT KETER!?"
Because it's just so GODD*MN ANNOYING!!! IT JUST BUZZES EVERYWHERE!
IT SUCKS!!!

Addendum: SCP-Fly-J is an SCP brought in by some random dude named Jake.
"THIS MOTHERF*CKER KEEPS FLYING AROUND MY HOUSE! HES- HES DANGEROUS! KEEP HIM CONTAINED!" Jake said.
We performed an expirement on SCP-Fly-J, but he wasn't found to be dangerous. But it was too late to turn back. We just let him fly around. BUT… HE WOULDNT STOP BOTHERING US GODD*MMIT!!! HE JUST FLIES IN OUR FACES AND DOESNT LEAVE!!!
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jake is still being hunted down today.

If that isn't a good one, how about this?

Object ID: SCP-Lunchbox-J

Object Class: Possibly safe. Just don't eat ANYTHING inside of it.

Containment Procedures: SCP-Lunchbox-J is a lunchbox. I like lu-
OH JEEZUMS RICE IM GETTING HYNOTIZED BY IT!!!!
QUICKLY EZPLAIN THE PROVEWUCRD
THELUNCHBOXATTEMPTSTOLUREYOUANDMAKEYOUEATTHEMOLDYCRAPINSIDEOFITJUSTDONTEATITITHASTOBECONTAINEDINAROOMINAGLASSTHINGY

Billy! GTFO of that chair! You're clearly hypnotized!

[Banging noises and "oof" in background]

Description: Sorry about that. Billy got hypnotized. Soo… Yes, it's a lunchbox. It's a sexy lunchbox. I wanna eat it. I WANNA EAT IT. I WANNA EAT IT-
[bleep]
Sorry, Jim got hypnotized too. Anyway. The lunchbox emits a thingy that makes you wanna eat the food inside of it. The contents were eaten 5 times, but for some reason they reappear after eaten. The lunchbox is a toy story lunch box, with Woody and Buzz on it saying "KACHOW!" God knows why it doesn't say- I WANNA EAT IT DOM DOM-
[Bleep]
Sara just ate that lunch! [ALARM SOUNDS]
WEWOWOWOOWOEOOWOROWOOEOEOEO
[Bleep]
Okiedokes now let's get this thing finished up.
God knows why it says that. Lightning McQueen isn't even from Toy Story!
Anyway, if you eat the food, it's moldy af. It's just so gross. You'll probably die on the spot.
Discovery: There was once a little girl who had a lunchbox that talked. Then the little girl threw the lunchbox in the closet.

Lunchbox was sad.

Lunchbox became gross.

LUNCHBOX WAS MOLDY >:D LOLOOLOLLOL

THE GIRL LOOKED IN CLOSET AND ATE FOOD

SHE DIED LILLOLOLLLOLOLLOLOLL

HAHEHEHEHEHHEHEEHEHEEHEE

10/10 WOULD READ AGAIN LOL

(This lunchbox needs to f*cking die)