Secretrider

Item #: SCP-XXXX "What does he do?"
Object Class: Keter
Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX must be contained in a 5 meter x 5 meter x 5 meter cell under constant surveillance via several cameras placed in each corner of the cell as well as having the room being guarded by atleast ten member of security at all times.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a Caucasian male homosapien standing at 1.73 meters, wearing a black overcoat, pinstripe pants, shirt, dress shoes, and a fedora with long grey hair. SCP-XXXX has prosopagnosia, a disorder that causes people to be unable to recognize human faces. Researchers have yet to discover what anomalous properties SCP-XXXX actually possesses, however all members of staff and interrogated members of the population are certain it has some form of anomalous effect, the uncertainty of what effect the SCP truly has is the primary reason for the keter classification.
Addendum: SCP-XXXX was found as SCP personnel encountered hundreds of police reports of a strange man walking around town that several citizens found to be suspicious. As personnel researched the reports more, they became certain that the reports were of an SCP, some even claiming it must be a keter. When brought in, MTF forces had SCP-XXXX bound and gagged as it was brought into it's cell. Researchers have performed, at the time of the creation of this report, 196,834 experiments and tests in an attempt to discover the anomalous effect of SCP-XXXX. Maybe there's nothing particularly strange about this item… No, there has to be, there's simply no way… SCP has offered to participate in an interview to avoid further tests.
The following is an interview of SCP-XXXX

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX
Interviewer: Dr. ██████
Foreword: Researcher interviews SCP-XXXX to learn what anomalous properties SCP-XXXX possesses.
<Begin Log>
Interviewer: Greetings SCP-XXXX, how are you today?
SCP-XXXX: No. None of this friendly shit, we agreed, I tell you people whatever the fuck you want to know, then you let me go. Now get on with the goddamned questions.
Interviewer: Fine. Now, how did you gain these anomalous properties?
SCP-XXXX: [SCP-XXXX is silent for a moment] These what?
Interviewer:Anomalous properties, the magical abilities you have.
SCP-XXXX: [SCP-XXXX looks around confused] Is… Is this some kind of joke? What the fuck are you talking about?
Interviewer: What do you do?
SCP-XXXX: I don't do anything! There's nothing magical about me!
Interviewer: Don't lie. There has to be something about you…
SCP-XXXX: What the fuck are you talking about!? You people are fucking crazy! Let me out!
Interviewer: You can go back to your cell as soon as you-
SCP-XXXX: My cell!? What the Hell, you said that you'd let me go!
Interviewer: SCP-XXXX is showing signs of hostility, requesting-
SCP-XXXX: Wait, wait, wait, no need for the guys with the guns, right? Just, let's keep it cool. Let's work together here, ██████.
Interviewer: How do you know my name? You have prosopagnosia, you shouldn't be able to recognize me.
SCP-XXXX: What? We haven't met before. I know your name because it's on that little label on your chest.
Interviewer: Hm. [Dr. ██████ begins taking notes}
SCP-XXXX: What are you writing?
Interviewer: Theories, the fact you know my name suggests you might have telepathy, infinite knowledge, or perhaps clairvoyance.
SCP-XXXX: [There is a moment of silence] You people aren't just crazy. You're also fucking stupid. Look, you people are so certain that I have some sort of, what was it, anomalous effect? Maybe this "magical ability" I have or whatever the fuck is simply that you guys think that I have a magical effect? [There's a few seconds of silence as Dr. ██████ begins to have a nosebleed and drop his pencil before falling out of his chair himself and onto the ground] Holy fucking shit! Hey, you guys need to get in here, I think- I think he's fucking dead! [Security enters and restrains SCP-XXXX and charges several stun guns] No, no, I didn't do this! Not the- [SCP-XXXX shouts in pain before being taken back to its cell]
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Dr. ██████ is confirmed deceased, SCP-XXXX's claim of its own effects to simply be all those surrounding it appears completely unlikely…. Or is it…? No, it is impossible, further testing must be conducted to discover what SCP-XXXX does, if for nothing else the sake of the late Dr. ██████. As of the closing of this document, experiment 196,835 is being conducted.