Item #: SCP-1531
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Any instance of SCP-1531 is to be kept in a standard storage container in Site-09 when outside of scheduled experiments. Experiment proposals must be cleared by at least two on-site personnel with level 2-1531 clearance.
Description: SCP-1531 is a generically designed white baseball cap with a red bill that has the words Dr. Wondertainment's Attitude AdjusterTM printed on the inside of the cap. The inside portion of the cap has three copper wires that curve around the inside of the hat so as not to discomfort the wearer.
Upon initial observation, the hat appears to be largly unremarkable and displays no anomalous properties when not used in conjunction with SCP-1531-1. Both the wires and baseball cap are made of standard materials. However, any attempt at replicating SCP-1531 have been met with failure, as they are not compatible with SCP-1531-1.
SCP-1531-1 is a plastic remote with three buttons, one switch, and a small dial and nob with only three settings: "low," "medium," and "Wowee!"
The switch is labelled "on" and "off," and sends an electric signal to SCP-1531. The three buttons are labeled: "grumpy", "happy", and "pouty."
Pressing these buttons while a subject is wearing SCP-1531 will alter the wearers behavior in accordance with the button selected. Pressing a different button while the item is in use will result in the previous behavioral command to be overridden. Pressing more than one button at the same time will result in no behavioral changes. The intensity of the behavioral change corresponds with the setting selected on the dial "low" being the least and "Wowee!" Being the highest.
Turning off SCP-1531-1 will cause the behavioral override to slowly revert. However the time it takes for subjects to return to normal depends on the intensity of the dial and the time exposed.
Recovery Log: A supply truck was intercepted in ██████, Oklahoma on ██,██,20██. As a direct result of an unrelated investigation into [REDACTED]. ██ instances of SCP-1531 were recovered.
See enclosed documents for experimentation results.
Objective: determine the exact properties of the "Happy" setting.
Trial #1:
Subject: D-1531-1, wearing SCP-1531
Procedure: Subject was put on the "low" setting and given a brief psychological analysis by Dr. ████.
Result: Subject was very complient during the interview. However, frequent outbursts and laughter made interviewing the subject difficult. Subject took six minutes for behavior to revert.
Trial #2:
Subject: D-1531-2, wearing SCP-1531
Procedure: Subject was put on the "medium" setting and given a brief psychological analysis by Dr. ████.
Result: Subject entered a hyperactive state and exhibited signs of hyper-advanced ADD, and ADHD. This was accompanied by several verbal 'ticks.' Subject took twenty one minutes for behavior to revert.
Trial #3:
Subject: D-1531-3, wearing SCP-1531
Procedure: Subject was put on the "Wowee!" setting and given a brief psychological analysis by Dr. ████.
Result: Subjuct was not compliant with any instructions and ran across the interview room while trying to sing a song in an in audible screach. When the subject attempted to break the window to the interview room, he was restrained by two L-3 guards. Subject took sixty five minutes for behavior to revert.
Objective: determine the exact properties of the "Grumpy" setting.
Trial #1:
Subject: D-1531-4, wearing SCP-1531
Procedure: Subject was put on the "low" setting and given a brief psychological analysis by Dr. ████.
Result: Subject appeared to have a considerably sharper wit and used it to make sarcastic quips at Dr. ████. Dr. ████ reported having his feelings hurt very much and was given alone time. Subject took five minutes for behavior to revert.
Trial #2:
Subject: D-1531-5, wearing SCP-1531
Procedure: Subject was put on the "medium" setting and given a brief psychological analysis by Dr. ████.
Result: An interview could not be conducted as subject refused to answer any questions or make eye contact with Dr. ████. Subject took twenty minutes for behavior to revert.
Trial #3:
Subject: D-1531-6, wearing SCP-1531
Procedure: Subject was put on the "Wowee!" setting and given a brief psychological analysis by Dr. ████.
Result: No interview could be made. Subject assaulted Dr. ████ immediately after SCP-1531 was activated. Two L-3 guards where required to properly restrain the subject. After restraint, subject took fifty seven minutes for behavior to revert.
Objective: determine the exact properties of the "Pouty" setting.
Trial #1:
Subject: D-1531-7, wearing SCP-1531
Procedure: Subject was put on the "low" setting and given a brief psychological analysis by Dr. ████.
Result: Subject was a considerably violent individual prior to the experiment. When SCP-1531 was activated, a significant decrease in profanity and threatening behavior. Subject took four minutes for behavior to revert.
Trial #2:
Subject: D-1531-8, wearing SCP-1531
Procedure: Subject was put on the "medium" setting and given a brief psychological analysis by Dr. ████.
Result: Subject showed signs of depression and post-traumatic stress. Interview lasted an entirety of five hours. Subject took forty minutes for behavior to revert.
Trial #3:
Subject: D-1531-9, wearing SCP-1531
Procedure: Subject was put on the "Wowee!" setting and given a brief psychological analysis by Dr. ████.
Result: Subject refused to move or speak for approximately five minutes. After this, the subject grabbed and broke the ceramic mug on the far side of the table and cut open his left wrist. A restraint was made, lasting an entirety of seven minutes before the subject lost consciousness due to blood loss.
Addendum 1531-1: The following transcript was found attached to each confiscated instance of SCP-1531.
Hi there, mom and dad! Gee-wiz! You sure are lucky! You've found your very own Attitude AdjusterTM by Dr. Wondertainment! Here at Dr. Wondertainment we know that the right attitude for your kid-o's means more fun for mom and dad, and more play time with our other wondrous products! Whether it be grumpy, happy, or pouty, Dr. Wondertainment knows just the thing to keep that 'tude in the right mood!
Don't want your little princess to wear a boring old baseball cap? No problem! Just ask your retailer about our new Dr. Wondertainment's Drama queen TiaraTM!
For maximum safe fun, Dr. Wondertainment recommends that you do not use the "Wowee!" setting. Ever.
Disclosure: Dr. Wondertainment will not be held legally accountable for any injuries, loss of property, or deaths that come as a direct result of the improper use of this product. By using this product you agree to these terms and conditions.
Side effects for improper use includes, but is not limited to: Violent outbursts, suicidal thoughts or actions, loss of all of your friends, self-defenestration and not living any more.
Addendum 1531-2: Requests to use 1531's "happy" setting in an attempt to counterbalance SCP-682's rage have been outright denied by O5 command.
"No. Just, no." - O5 █