8mike - SCP-2654 - The good stuff
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Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is located in a service area at mile 54 of Veteran Memorial Highway in Woosley, Nevada. The area has been claimed by the Foundation and guarded 24/7 by two Level 2 armed personnel as well as remote surveillance. The entrance door to the bathroom has been replaced with a password protected security lock. Four cameras (now equipped with heat sensors) as well as motion sensors and microphones have been installed inside the bathroom. Water supply and connection to the sewage system has been blocked to/from the bathroom to avoid any form of contamination to SCP-XXX which so far does not require any additional effort in containment. All items generated by SCP-XXX are to be photographed, cataloged and given to Dr. Nakamura for eventual SCP classification and risk assessment.

Description: SCP-XXX is the third of five stalls in the bathroom of an old fashioned service area. It does not present any anomaly or pecularity except for it being left in a degrading condition, whereas the other stalls and the rest of the bathroom appear to have been recently renovated. The anomaly manifests when a person enters stalls number two or four, sits on the toilet and waits for 37 seconds, after which an entity (called SCP-XXXX-1) will materialize within SCP-XXX. This entity has never been completely observed, only a diffused shadow can be seen from underneath the separation wall and a human male voice can be heard. Any attempt at inspecting the stall further such as using mirrors, placing cameras in the stall or opening the door, will cause the neutralization of the effect for 24 hours. Only one infrared picture of what could be SCP-XXXX-1 has been obtained (see image).
After SCP-XXXX-1 manifests, a murmur can be heard pronouncing "Psst! Hey, do you want some good stuff?" towards whoever is in the next stall. If the test subject answers affirmatively, SCP-XXX-1 will reply "I need to see what you got to offer me first". At this point, any object passed underneath the separation wall will be exchanged with an object that can be ingested, inhaled or assumed by the subject. A full log of the experiment is available. Where the objects originate is yet unknown and SCP-XXX-1 seems to be able to generate an infinite amount and, possibly, variety of these objects. The longest experiment so far has been conducted with test subject D-14554 for 8 hours straight, recovering 93 objects. Of these 65 were consumed by various personnel, 20 were lost / destroyed, 7 classified as SCP and 1 [REDACTED].

Test 1

Object: One penny coin
Results: One small white mint flavored candy, analysis reveals to be a tictac. After consuming it, the D-class male test subject claimed his mouth felt incredibly fresh. Dental and bacterial analysis revealed absolute cleanliness of the mouth and teeth. For almost 18 hours test subject had to be isolated from female personnel who inexplicably attempted to kiss him

Test 2

Object: One dollar bill, intact
Results: One small circular white pill. Analysis reveals to be regular aspirin. After taking the pill, test subject claims his headache stopped

Test 3

Object: One old one dollar bill, wrinkled and torn
Results: One small circular white pill. Analysis reveals to be mainly aspirin mixed with an unknown substance. After taking the pill, test subject complains about a migraine. After 2 minutes, test subject nose starts to bleed. Subject moved to toxicology department for monitoring and detoxification.

Test 4

Object: One D battery
Results: A small cup of very strong turkish coffee. The taste was described as bitter even after the fifth spoonfuls of sugar. The test subject that consumed it was unable to sleep for 12 days.

Test 5

Object: One rose flower
Results: A small flask labelled "Diluted Selenium Metallicum, homeopathic remedy for erectile dysfunction". Testing on subject suffering from psychosomatic erectile dysfunction showed a complete recover. Lab testing revealed no traces of any chemical besides water and minerals normally found in tap water.

Test 6

Object: One 100$ banknote
Results: A bag of 1 gr of fine white powder. Testing reveals to be 100% pure cocaine. Testing on subject temporarily not possible because of the displacement of the bag.

Test 7

Object: One live lab rat (Rattus norvegicus)
Results: A transparent plastic bag containing salt water and one live sea bream similar to Sarpa salpa. Tests on the skin of the fish revealed the presence of a tryptamine molecule never before observed in a concentration of 700 pmol/g of the outer layer of the skin. Ingestion of such substance causes severe auditory and visual hallucinations that have been described as extemely frightful and real. The effects last for up to 16 hours and leave no apparent damage to the nervous system.

Test 8

Object: One depleted car battery
Results: One dirty syringe containing a bright yellow liquid and what appears to be dust accumulating inside. Upon inspection the content appears to be a substance close to the drug commonly known as Krokodil and the needle tested positive to Hepatatis C. No test on humans was conducted and the object was destroyed

Test 9

Object: One human tooth (courtesy of Agent Bhat's son)
Results: One bong pipe, built out of gold and transparent white glass. The pipe contains a mixture of at least 500 unknown substances and what appears to be a snake's eye (Crotalus durissus) floating in water. No effort was needed to convince D-4432 to test the substance. A standard bic lighter was provided. After lighting the bong and inhaling once, subject closed his eyes and ignored questions from the research personnel for 25 minutes. Afterwards his eyes had mutated closely resembling the snake eye in the bong. Subject started speaking with a lisp demanding food in the form of small live animals. Aftre the request was denied subject started to behave in an aggressive manner and was restrained. Effects of the substance vanished after 4 hours with no trace on the subject.

Test 10

Object: One mirror
Results: SCP-XXXX-1 effect neutralized as soon as the mirror was placed under the separation wall. Subject states that the reflection of the stall didn't reveal anything anomalous.

Test 11

Object: One GPS tracking device
Results: A scented candle, later reclassified as Euclid class SCP-[REDACTED]. GPS signal lost after subject left the stall.

Test 12

Object: [REDACTED]
Results: One red pill, identical to the ones found in SCP-500, testing reveals to be the same

Test 13

Object: Same as Test 5
Results: One blue and yellow pill. Lab test was inconclusive and testing on D-class personnel was approved shortly after. After ingestion the test subject started screaming in terror claiming that "a giant dark green smiling monster in the sky was smiling at him"

Test 14

Object: One piece of asteroid rock recovered from [REDACTED], 1.35g
Results: A syringe containing a green phosphorescent fluid. testing upon D-class personnel resulted in [REDACTED]

Test 15

Object: One piece of canvas with a replica of The Big Sleep by Salvador Dalì, generated using SCP-[REDACTED]
Results: One white bean, species unknown. On the surface of the bean, written in regular black ink was the phrase "To be consumed in a desert". D-4885 was escorted to the [REDACTED] desert by security agents and a small research team lead by Dr. Brown and instructed to consume the bean. Given the unpredictable nature of the test, security agents had mounted a remote mine on the test subject's belt. After 6 minutes of ingesting the bean, subject suddenly [REDACTED]. Subject was later neutralized by MTF-Morpheus and its remains classified as SCP-[REDACTED].

Test 16

Object: One folder containing blood analysis and EEG of an anonymous AIDS patient
Results: A small plastic box containing 4 pills and a hand written note with instructions on how to assume them. Upon testing on the subject no trace of the HIV pathogen was detected in the blood stream and full recovery was possible after 3 weeks. Testing on the pills revealed to contain cane sugar, cinnamon, honey and powder breast milk. DNA tests on the breast milk revealed to belong to one of test subject's daughters.

Test 17

Object: One small block of bismuth, 0.5 gr
Results: Class A amnesiac

Test 18

Object: One copy of Jenseits von Gut und Böse by Friedrich Nietzsche.
Results: A small tab, 0.9 x 0.9 cm, black in color. No test have been able to tell the molecular composition of the tab. Measurements of the surface temperature are incoherent as it seems to be at absolute zero Kelvin. Upon touching the tab, test subject claim it feels slightly colder than room temperature and they claim to feel a sense of dread, as if an imminent, life changing event is going to happen. Upon ingestion, test subject will begin to weep. After approximately 3 hours it will lie on the floor in fetal position and lose conscience. During this period of 12 hours, the subject is completely unresponsive. Afterwards subject will abruptly awaken with what appears to be the bottom half of a snake coming out of his mouth. Any attempts to intervene during this phase will be met with extreme hostility by the subject which will then sit cross leg, with his eyes closed in a meditative pose. After that he will violently bite off and swallow the upper part of the serpent's body, start levitating and glowing. After about 12 seconds, subject and the severed serpent's body will completely disappear in a white flash of light