Item #: SCP-3000
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3000-P is contained on site, in a building known as the “Museum”, in ███████. The building is guarded 24/7 by armed personnel under the guise of civilians and curators, and all the buildings associated with the SCP will be attended to as well, registered and supervised. Human interaction with the SCP has proven inoffensive, and as such the guards only come in play if SCP-3000 should become corrupt. In the event that the building is breached, Containment Procedure-3000 is to set in motion immediately, and all the SCPs contained within the buildings associated with SCP-3000 are to be moved to the site of SCP-2932 until further notice. The armed guardians on patrol, Mobile Task Force S-23, should furthermore evacuate all civilians present at the moment of the breach, and these should be administered class I amnestics. SCP-3000 should then be relocated to the safehouse SCP-3000-Y “The Haven” until the breach is resolved.
SCP-3000-Ch is to be contained in a pocket watch, as it will automatically merge with the object’s components.
Information acquired from SCP-3000-1 (ADMIN) and SCP-3000-2 (AUX-ADMIN) points to the possibility of a breach, and have instructed that the buildings be periodically checked for any sign of damage.
Efforts are ongoing to prevent SCP-3000 from connecting to other buildings, but have so far proven futile.
In the event of a large-scale corruption, paired with a impossibility to transfer the SCP to “The Haven”, Project Mezzanine is to begin effectively.
Project Mezzanine consists of releasing both instances of SCP-3000 – SCP-3000-P and SCP-3000-Ch, from the range of SCP-3000, which will result in the two merging with a powerful burst of energy. This will consequently force the local space-time and trigger a System Reset. Thus, all events leading to Project Mezzanine being set in motion will be cancelled and reverted. Should one of these events be the introduction of a destabilizing SCP in containment in SCP-3000, another site for the SCP will be required.
Description: SCP-3000 comprises of two objects of the same set: a chameleon and a painting depicting three radishes on a table. The chameleon displays a high level of intelligence and self-awareness, and can make crude attempts at communication. The “Museum”, although it contains both instances of SCP-3000, also contains numerous pieces of art, original paintings, sculptures and devices designed by █████ and many others.
However, “The Museum” is only one of the buildings connected to SCP-3000, as the SCP is a network of buildings and locations that present direct communication to each other. Certain energy flows have been discovered, that allow a method of transport similar to teleportation, between the locations, if said energy is channeled properly. As such, every building has been equipped with a telephone and a grandfather clock which serve as beacons.
During interviews with SCP-3000-1 and SCP-3000-2, it has been revealed that SCP-3000, “The System” as it is known, contains several Keter and Euclid class SCPs in a dormant state, under the guise of ordinary objects. Further investigation has lead to the observation that any anomaly which would otherwise harm SCP-3000-1 and SCP-3000-2 is automatically fragmented and converted by SCP-3000 and its new shape accommodated properly, until one of two happens: the dormant SCP is taken out of SCP-3000’s range, or SCP-3000 is corrupted. Despite its original purpose as a safehouse system, which was intended by SCP-3000-1, SCP-3000 is currently used by the Organisation as an imprisonment facility for the aforementioned Keter and Euclid class SCPs, due to its powerful means of restricting the anomalies.
SCP-3000-1 is a young, female, humanoid entity that resides in the buildings connected to SCP-3000, and is known to it as “ADMIN”. A highly probable answer to this is due to the fact that SCP-3000-1 has contributed to the establishment of the “System”. SCP-3000-1 displays no recognizable features other than a prosthetic leg on the right lower appendage, a cane and a cigarette. SCP-3000-Ch seems to be highly attached to SCP-3000-1, which is why the watch SCP-3000-Ch is contained within will permanently be on the person of SCP-3000-1.
SCP-3000-2 is an elderly, male humanoid entity that also resides in the buildings of SCP-3000. The title of “AUX-ADMIN” can be easily explained by the role he occupies, as a replacement for SCP-3000-1. SCP-3000-2 wears a top hat and a tailcoat, and permanently carries a .45 caliber pistol, which is fully loaded at all times. Attempts to seize and disarm SCP-3000-2 have proven futile, as SCP-3000-2 was too agile and managed to escape any restraints.
On two occasions, SCP-3000 has made contact through the telephone on its premises. Both conversations have been recorded, but an anomaly caused by SCP-3000 itself has rendered the second interview irretrievable.
Interview 3000-P: The following interview was conducted when SCP-3000 made a spontaneous attempt to contact SCP-3000-1. At first communication was impossible due to the SCP refusing to reply unless talking to SCP-3000-1. As such, SCP-3000-1 was required to wear a recording device to enable communication.
[Date: 13/06/96
Interviewer: Dr. A. Morse
Interviewee: SCP-3000
Translator: **SCP-3000-1 “ADMIN”
[BEGIN LOG]
SCP-3000: Can you hear me?
Dr. Morse: Yes.
SCP-3000: You are not ADMIN. I’m not saying a word.
Dr. Morse: Who is Admin?
(SCP-3000 refuses to reply)
Dr. Morse: Are you receiving me? If we let Admin talk to you, will you proceed?
(At this point, SCP-3000-1 is called into the room, and is accompanied by SCP-3000-2 who remains by the door)
SCP-3000-1: Can you hear me?
SCP-3000: Loud and clear.
(Dr. A. Morse starts asking the questions, which are then repeated to SCP-3000 by SCP-300-1)
Dr. Morse: What are you?
SCP-3000: What am I? I am Time, my dear. And the Fetus. Alpha and Omega.
Dr. Morse: What is your purpose?
SCP-3000: My purpose is to protect and contain. I maintain the order and offer immunity to those who stand by me.
Dr. Morse: You offer immunity against what?
SCP-3000: Against otherworldly things. You are blind, foolish people. You think you contain the anomalies and you think you can understand them. But you can’t. There’s much more to them than what you see in this world. Perhaps if this were a higher plane, you’d understand. But I honestly don’t expect you to.
Dr. Morse: In this world? Do you suggest the existence of other worlds? Of “higher” worlds?
SCP-3000: (laughter) I don’t suggest. I mean exactly what I say. You’re only a speck of dust. And you bore me.
Dr. Morse: What do you know about these “anomalies”?
SCP-3000: These “SCPs”, as you call them? I know where they come from. I know what they do. I know what they are and what to do to stop them. I can turn them to dust and back, because I understand them utterly and completely. Unlike you, my methods are efficient.
Dr. Morse: Where are you?
SCP-3000: (laughter) Where am I? Everywhere. Look on the wall.
(At this point, Dr. Morse, the staff, and both SCP-3000-1 and SCP-3000-2 look at the painting depicting the radishes)
Dr. Morse: That is impossible.
SCP-3000: Only if you believe it is.
(Suddenly the communication is interrupted by interference and then silence. SCP-3000-1 signals that SCP-3000 has disconnected and refuses to further communicate.)
[END LOG]]
Interview 3000-1: The following interview was conducted when the SCP was first discovered, and SCP-3000-1 made contact. The interview was conducted on the site of SCP-3000, because of SCP-3000-1's specific request.
[Date: 23/01/96
Interviewer: Dr. A. Morse
Interviewee: SCP-2932-1
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Morse: Good morning. Do you know why we are here today?
SCP-3000-1: (smile) Of course. I summoned you. You humans are so easily bribed with promises of answers and glory, aren’t you?
Dr. Morse: Perhaps. Who are you?
SCP-3000-1: Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to talk to strangers? I am the Administrator. You are…(reads name tag) Doctor █████ Morse!
Dr. Morse: Very observant of you. What is your role as Administrator.
SCP-3000-1: You see, dearie…(pauses and takes out a cigarette). May I? (doctor nods. SCP-3000-1 lights the cigarette and proceeds). You see, dearie, I built this place. Don’t get me wrong, not brick by brick. But back a few decades ago, when I started my job, I needed a place to hide. A safehouse, you see.
Dr. Morse: How old would you say you are, precisely?
SCP-3000-1: You’re not supposed to ask that of a lady.
Dr. Morse: I hardly see anything ladylike in you.
SCP-3000-1: Touche. Some 70 years old. I haven’t really counted. But I’ve had quite some success, you know.
Dr. Morse: You say your age is 70 years, but in appearance you do not show a day over 36.
SCP-3000-1: When you have time by your side, you hardly grow old. (SCP-3000-1 pulls out a pocket watch and caresses it. In reply, a chameleon, later known as SCP-3000-Ch, emerges). Hello sweetie.
Dr. Morse: You mean to say that is time?
SCP-3000-1: With a capital T, yes, if you don’t mind.
Dr. Morse: Peculiar. And what is this place exactly? Could you help enlighten me a bit?
SCP-3000-1: Sure! (stands and points at a world map on the wall) This is a map of the System. We are currently in the Museum, which is somewhat of a headquarters. Every other light you see is an important location connected to this directly or indirectly, by those red lines. You following so far?
Dr. Morse: (writing in a notebook) Yes.
SCP-3000-1: Lovely notebook you’ve got there. If you will, I was hoping you could give it to me. Now.
(Dr. A. Morse reluctantly closes the book and hands it to the SCP)
SCP-3000-1: Thank you. Wouldn’t want a breach, would I?
Dr. Morse: A breach?
SCP-3000-1: Hush love. He’ll tell you about it later. Now, this System of safehouses has one wicked quality. (long drag from the cigarette) And that is, anything that is unsafe for me, a threat, is neutralised on the spot. You see that statue over there?
(Dr. Morse turns towards a table with a bronze elephant statuette)
SCP-3000-1: That’s an example. It used to be a Baku. I think you are familiar with the term? Well, unless I take it from the premises, it’ll be dormant.
Dr. Morse: Interesting.
SCP-3000-1: Now. This place is full of these things, and anyone would kill to have them. Am I mistaken?
Dr. Morse: No.
SCP-3000-1: So I think the reason why the System was discovered is apparent?
Dr. Morse: Perhaps. We would have discovered this anomaly without any of your actions. Remember, you are part of it.
SCP-3000-1: Undeniably, my dear. But I can get you out. Unlike other anomalies, SCPs as you call them, that you’ve handled, you are currently unprepared to deal with this. So I think cooperation would be beneficial to both parties?
Dr. Morse: True.
(Dr. Morse turns and presses a button on the tape recorder in her coat)
Dr. Morse: This concludes our little talk. I wish you a pleasant day.
SCP-3000-1: Leave the recorder by the door, would you please? I will not permit any word of this place outside.
[END LOG]