TheRealBongos

Bloodletting and other pastimes

by J. Rust

Hello!
Thank you for picking up your copy of "Bloodletting and other pastimes"!
I could not have written such a small book without help from the SCP foundation.
I would also like to thank every person who allowed me to practice on them as to give themselves to a greater good in our field.

The Method

Now without further ado, let's delve into the subject at hand!
The first port of call is to gather your very own member of Class D personnel, it doesn't matter if you steal them straight from the cell, the foundation employees are rather lazy, and don't mind a few Class D scum going astray, (after all, it's not their problem, right?).
Now obviously you could also opt for a member with clearance, such as a researcher or, if you're feeling a tad ambitious, a doctor, this is something I would personally advise against, as they tend to get investigated.

So you have your "subject", what now? Well, you'd better not kill them outright as that would ruin the goal, the first thing you have to do is successfully restrain your "subject", now what I tend to find is that most people are rather unwilling to let that happen, so I recommend heavy sedation at this point, at least until they're bound down.

If you've made it to this point, great, you're doing really well, what you're doing here isn't easy so feel free to give yourself a pat on the back (Please note: Do not feel upset if you gave yourself a pat on the back before reaching this milestone, it was merely a quip made in jest.)
Now, you must bring your equipment to where you have bound your "subject", this is why I recommend storing your equipment at your place of "work" otherwise it may be rather risky to leave the "subject" alone with potential for an escape, now if this happens don't worry, but do read "Escapee's and Precautions", a chapter later in this book (note: skip to it now if you are in a dire circumstance).

Your equipment should include: a scalpel, a large knife, a hacksaw, a bucket of sand and bleach, please make sure all equipment is sharpened as there is nothing fun about working with blunt tools.
Firstly turn to your rack, and select the scalpel, make sure your "subject" is still sedated and proceed to cut from the bottom of the throat to the tip of their "belly button", please make the incision large enough to be able to fold the skin flaps back and produce "Angel wings".1
Once complete take your large knife and use it as a scoop, remove any nasty visceral/tissue/gore whilst keeping the vital organs intact (Do note: if your subject wakes up at any time during the dissection to not expect him to be cooperative, sedate again if need be).

Now you come across one of the many issue of the human body, to gain access to the core of their torso you need to bypass the ribs, this may be an issue as the ribs are rather tough to crack and you don't want to just shatter them as you may get bone splinters inside the vital organs. This is where you take the hacksaw and you create a large split from the top to the bottom of the sternum, make sure to saw with rigour and yet caution as to bypass cartilage and yet preserve organs in proximity.

Now onto the difficult part.
Stop repeatedly on the "subjects" head until they are dead, before taking the large knife again and take their head off with it.

Now, things may have got a little messy whilst you had your wicked way with their mauled carcass but not to worry! this is where the final parts of your equipment come in, sprinkle your sand over the blood to absorb it then use bleach to clean away the rest, pack your equipment up and douse your tools with a spot of sterilizer and you're in the clear!

Escapee's and Precautions

Your "subject" has escaped! This is the end!
or is it?
A personal favourite of mine is to place a tracker on my subject so that even if they leave my dungeon, I will always know where they are hiding!
But that is a lot of high tech equipment, that not everyone has access too, don't worry though, I can help catch your guy without breaking the bank!

STEP 1: Proactivity, assure every little bind, chain and lock is tight and fitted perfectly, if this is so, you probably wont need the rest of the steps, after all… why do you need to catch someone who isn't going anywhere?

STEP 2: ERROR #01010100 01101000 01100101
01111001 00100000 01101011 01101001 01101100 01101100 01100101
01100100 00100000 01101101 01111001
00100000 01100100 01100001 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 01100101 01110010
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STEP 3: Don't let your feelings get the better of you, we all have our reasons for doing what we do, but don't let it cloud your judgement, a stupid mistake and you could be fed to their giant lizard!

STEP 4: Learn basic tracking, urban and rural, make sure this isn't animal tracking though! You're not after badgers after all!

STEP 5: Make it slow, make them FEEL what is happening, if you like living on the edge, make sure they are partially awake for the whole thing, make them feel every slice, watch as they grimace and scream.

Conclusion
Congratulations, you have no got away with the killing of foundation personnel/people/slaves, make sure you prepare again before attempting again, after all we always attempt again, we all (as I have said before) have our reasons,
So come on, get out there and make those sons of bitches pay.