TheyCallMeDub

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SCP interview SCP (OLD)

A screencap of SCP-XXXX, recorded incorrectly.

Loading… …FAILURE TO LOAD, IMPROPER CLEARANCE. LEVEL 3 PERSONNEL AND ABOVE.
Loading SYSTEM OVERRIDE.exe
SYSTEM OVERRIDE ACCEPTED
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Loaded: SCP XXXX.zip

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Thaumiel

OUTDATED: Special Containment Procedure (Iteration 1/1):

SCP-XXXX-1 through 8 are to be kept inside a secure video storage unit at the media archive of Site ██. When in use, SCP-XXXX-2 through -9 should not be removed from its casing or exposed to any strong magnetic sources. A VHS player and XX inch analog television have been provided in Observation Theatre 01 at Site ██, as well as video equipment to record viewings.

OUTDATED: Special Containment Procedure (Iteration 2/1):

SCP-XXXX-1 through 8 are to be kept inside a secure video storage unit at the media archive of Site ██. When in use, SCP-XXXX-1 through -8 should not be removed from its casing or exposed to any strong magnetic sources. A DVD player and XX inch analog television have been provided in Observation Theatre 01 at Site ██, as well as video equipment to record viewings.

Special Containment Procedures (Iteration 3/0): SCP-XXXX are to be kept inside a secure video storage unit at the media archive of Site ██. When in use, SCP-XXXX-1 through -8 should not be removed from its casing or exposed to any strong magnetic sources. A Blu-Ray DVD player and an XX inch flat screen plasma TV have been provided in Observation Theatre 01 at Site ██, as well as video equipment to record viewings.

Proper Recording Procedure: Only one level 3 personnel may be present at the time of recording. When doing so, said personnel must look at the television displaying SCP-XXXX only through the camera, or else audio and video will be heavily distorted and SCP-XXXX will only appear a blank, vaguely humanoid creature of a 5'10" stature, 160 lbs.

Reiteration Procedure: If the physical form of SCP-XXXX are to change, change the first number of the iteration label to be one (1) higher. If the SCP being interviewed in any of the 8 tapes are the change, set the second to be one (1) higher.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a television interview series called "A Show Containing Interesting People (and Things)!" Which is recorded on eight separate "tapes,"¹ labeled SCP-XXXX-2 through -9, with all recorded viewings and descriptions being only snippets of full episodes due to either terrible quality of the tapes being viewed or literal interference from said tapes.² Tapes were retrieved from a warehouse in [REDACTED]
SCP-XXXX-1-α, however, is a humanoid creature that changes appearance with viewer based on the subject’s view of the average human, referred to as 'the Blank Man.' The tapes depict the man to have powers of teleportation³ and neutralization of anomalies present without interviewees. He, the blank man, is considered to be the show itself, only existing within the boundaries and being affected by the physical form of the tapes 1 through 8.
SCP-XXXX-1-Ω is "the blank man's boss," and has only appeared on tape once, and appears to be around 12' with a vaguely humanoid body and pyramid shape head that faces away from the front of his body, opening at a point to reveal an elongated, jagged, smile that stretched (literally,) to small, round, blue eyes. Its skin appears to be scaly and reptilian, with two arms that reach out to scythe points and humongous toed claws on feet around 4' long, walking with a hunch and speaking in a deep, masculine voice. SCP-XXXX-Ω has been described as looking "demonic," and "repugnant in attitude." SCP-XXXX-Ω's powers are not clear as SCP-XXXX-α's, though SCP-XXXX-Ω has been the only one able to break into the blank man's show, (mostly to complain about ratings, threatening to fire SCP-XXXX-α.) It has been speculated that SCP-XXXX-Ω has (to some degree,) reality-bending powers, powers that render the blank man's null.

Load: SCP XXXX 2 Iteration 1 pilot.txt and SCP XXXX Iteration 2 Iteration 1 1.txt

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Loaded: SCP XXXX 2.zip

Episode 1: Pilot Iteration 1/0
SCP-XXXX-1 introduces themselves, the cameramen and audience all who are very real, dead people. This episode was filmed 1█/██/19█9, according to the calendar present in the background. Nothing notable has been reported by any viewers. Tape explodes after viewing, no personnel harmed.

Episode 9: An Apple a Day Can't Keep this Doctor Away! Iteration 2/0
SCP-XXXX-1, (now going to be informally referred to as 'the blank man,') sits next to SCP-049, ██/██/133█.

"How are you today 49?"

049 shudders, though only 049's floating mask and cloak are visible.

"I see that you're doing just fine. It seems your work is going well in comparison to your normal performance; you actually healed one of the cast members. Tell me. What really is the great pestilence?"

SCP-049 turns to look at the blank man.

"I-."

Tape ends.

Episode 17: Suck Cuck Phuck Foundation Iteration 2/1
SCP-XXXX-1 sits at his desk and looks at the [unmanned] camera.

"Fuck y'all."

Load: SCP XXXX 3 Iteration 1 and 2 0.zip

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Loaded: SCP XXXX 3 Iteration 1 2 0.zip

Episode 2: The Real Number One! Iteration 1/0
A black screen engulfs the left side of the television whilst viewing, as reported by Dr. ███████, with the supposed appearance of the true SCP-001, then the tape explodes. The date in the video is exactly a year after the incident, the tape does not regenerate into iteration 2/0 until a day after that date.

Episode 10: Y'all of Barn! Iteration 2/0
SCP-XXXX-1 is sitting next to 066, the ball of yarn pulsating and the eyes frantically searching the room, unable to move it repeatedly mutters "Eric?"

"Who is Eric?"

Beethovens second symphony plays at a -2 decibel level, the blank man looks at the camera, obviously unamused.

"Who is Eric?"

066 Turns to him and the video ends.

Load: SCP XXXX 4 Iteration 1 0.txt

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Loaded: SCP XXXX 4 Iteration 1 0.txt

Episode 3: Hard to Interview Reptile! Iteration 1/0
SCP-XXXX-1 puts a party hat on a (presumably paralyzed,) with the words "It's a Boy!" On it, onto an American alligators head. Nothing else happens in the video, though he talks and interviews said reptile; no audio is present. Tape ends after much prodding and patting of the gators head and other annoyances.

Episode 11: You're Toast! Iteration 1/1
The Blank Man sits at his desk, attempting to operate SCP-426, though he is unsuccessful in this course of action, which results in him throwing the toaster across the room.

"Pile of shit."

Load: SCP XXXX 5 Iteration 1 0.txt

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Loaded: SCP XXXX 5 Iteration 1 0.txt

Episode 4: Peter Pan Picks a Peck of Pickled Realities? Iteration 1/0
The blank man sits with SCP-2343.

"Who is your wife?"

"She's… She's-"

The video ends.

Load: SCP XXXX 6 Iteration 1 0.txt

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Loaded: SCP XXXX 6 Iteration 1 0.txt

Episode 5 Iteration 1/0
SCP-XXXX-Ω appears through a static hole in the wall, (meaning a hole appears in the wall, with the screen displaying static rather than revealing the portal,) peeking his head out, causing the blank man to jump in sudden fear.

"Our ratings are going down," the deep voice spoke.
"Uh, no they're not? Our ratings are doing fine?"

SCP-XXXX-Ω nods.

"Good. Maybe this dimension will be something worth keeping. You keep this up and I'll guarantee you your second season."
"Really?!"
"No. You're one of the worst versions of my show, at least in Yggdrasil people know about your show. Here-"

He looks around the screen, directly at the D-Class personnel recording, smiling.

"Here is different. And I don't give you these powers just for you to sit around an entertain. We're documentors, not entertainers."

He leaves.

Load: SCP XXXX 7 Iteration 1 0.txt

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Loaded: SCP XXXX 7 Iteration 1 0.txt

Episode 6: Why the Long Face? Iteration 1/0
SCP-XXXX-1 sits at his desk cackling in anticipation, SCP-096 sitting in the chair next to him, covering his face.

"B-bro- Why the (he laughs,) LONG FACE?"

SCP-096 becomes incredibly aggravated, but is visibly weakened, and can't get up and off the couch, the blank man is laughing. SCP-096 harms himself in this attempt, shrieking as the episode ends.

Load: SCP XXXX 8 Iteration 1 0.txt

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Loaded: SCP XXXX 8 Iteration 1 0.txt

Episode 7: SLEEP WITH KEEP ONE EYE OPEN, GRIP THE PILLOW TIGHT Iteration 1/0
The blank man sits with a clay statue and asks it

"Yah like the movie 'Eyes Wide Shut?'"
"Yeah, of course you do."

Load: SCP XXXX 9 Iteration 1 0.txt

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Loaded: SCP XXXX 9 1 0.txt

Episode 8:
Episode has no title, the '8,' in episode 8 is sideways.⁴ The tape plays nothing but a black screen and a malevolent blank man's face with an unusually visible smile, forever. SCP-XXXX-9 is still in its first physical iteration (that we know of.) At the bottom of the screen is a link, the link leading to an encrypted website for the show. Only a countdown is visible;

"Time until next season:"
2.18 BILLION YEARS

Tale 1 (Short)

On Monday he slumbers.
On Monday we're safe.
On Tuesday he dines.
It is Tuesday.

SCP Interview SCP (J)

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J (Rated TV-14)

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-J Is a television show called "

Footnotes

1. The "tapes," range in physical appearance, some being VHS tapes, some being Blu-Ray DVDs. Proper viewing equipment is provided for each scenario.

2. Tapes have an anomalous ability to blank the screens at "will," and often interferes when attempting to be recorded.

3. Limited to his studio.

4. An 'infinity,' symbol.